Total Phokémon Island
by maycontestdrew
Summary: Welcome to Total Phokémon Island. First of all, yes, the 'h' in Phokémon is intentional. Secondly, with Shaymin as your host, a fresh batch of Pokémon will be participating in exciting and potentially life-threatening challenges in order to win bucket loads of cash. There will be blood, sweat, tears, romance, and best of all, drama. Are you up for the challenge? Pokemon SYOC.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

_Ring, ring..._

"Hi! This is Jirachi!"

"Hey Jirachi! Shaymin here, I was wondering-"

"Unfortunately, I am unable to pick-up this phone. Leave a message after the tone, and I will-"

Shaymin groaned and slammed her phone down, sagging into her hammock. She had called just about every single legendary she knew, and all had the exact same response. Were they ignoring her or something?

"Bellosom!"

A Bellosom rushed into the room, anxiously glancing up at her boss. "Yes, Miss Shaymin?"

"Why does everyone hate me?"

Bellosom blinked, obviously taken back. "Why, n-no one hates you, miss!"

"You hesitated."

Bellosom uncomfortably shuffled towards Shaymin's hammock, her grass skirts gently grazing against the trees around her. "Why would anyone hate you, miss?"

"No one is answering my phone calls!"

Bellosom placed a comforting hand on Shaymin, a bright smile plastered across her face. "Why, miss! They don't hate you. They're all just very busy hosting their own shows."

Shaymin perked up at this, her eyes widening with curiosity. "Their own shows?"

"Yes. All the other legendries starting hosting their own shows! It started off with Mew, making a series called 'Total Pokémon Island' - and then all the other legendries became inspired to start their own show. Lugia and Ho-Oh have combined forces to do a remake of the show, and Victini has made his own called 'Total Pokkemon Island'!"

Shaymin remained quiet, letting all of that information sink in. Judging by Bellosom's passionate voice and the way that all the surrounding grass-type Pokémon started murmuring about the shows, this 'Total Pokémon Island' franchise was quite popular.

"I can't believe everyone is too busy hosting their own shows to pick up my phone calls. Is every single legendary doing it?" Shaymin enquired.

Bellosom shook her head. "Not all. I believe that Phione is not, though she does sabotage Victini's show quite often. I'm sure Phione would love to keep you company. How about you call her?"

Shaymin scowled. "That pathetic excuse for a legendary? Not a chance!"

"Darkrai?"

"Look, I don't plan on dying anytime soon, so no."

Bellosom raised her hands in surrender and Shaymin groaned, falling back against her hammock.

Just as Bellosom was about to leave, Shaymin jumped out of her hammock. Squealing with excitement, she exclaimed, "I have the perfect idea!"

"What is it, miss?"

"I'm going to host my own original show!"

Bellosom arched an eyebrow curiously. "Oh? What will it be about?"

"I'll have contestants join from all over the world! They have to compete in challenges, and those that lose will get eliminated one by one!"

Bellosom's eye twitched. "... But that's not original-"

"Wait! Here comes the original part!"

"Yes?"

"It will be called... Total Phokemon Island!" Shaymin announced dramatically, giddy with excitement.

"So... Total Fokemon Island?"

"No, no. The 'h' is silent, obviously."

Bellosom deadpanned. "So... Total Pokémon Island."

"That's the spirit! And, oh, I need an assistant, right?"

Bellosom stood taller. Even she couldn't resist the opportunity to be on television.

Shaymin rambled on, "Hm... I need someone kind and approachable. Someone who the campers will all love." Her eyes flashed with glee. "Bellosom?"

Bellosom flushed. "Why, miss, it would be a pleasure to-"

"Could you call Victreebel? I think she would make a terrific assistant!"

Bellosom's face fell. "But Victreebel is the snappiest Pokémon here and she doesn't even know how to cook!"

"Hush, you. If you're so concerned, you can teach her! Brilliant - now that we have that sorted, we only need one more thing."

"What would that be, miss?"

"Contestants!"

* * *

 **Hey there, folks! This is Tomato Soup (maycontestdrew) speaking.**

 **As you can see, this story is an SYOC, meaning that you submit your own OC. However, we no longer require any more OCs. Thank you for all the submissions! We absolutely loved the diversity of characters we received.**

 **For those who didn't get the chance to submit an OC, DO NOT FEAR!**

 **Depending on the success of this first story, I am DEFINITELY considering doing a Season Two. That should be starting some time in 2018, so there will be another opportunity to submit some OCs! Shoot me a PM, if you'd like to know more details.**

 **We do have a sneaky cheeky little rule, though. We will most likely be prioritising OCs submitted by people who missed the opportunity to submit an OC for this first story. HOWEVER, we would only prioritise their OCs if they have been following this first story, and have been showing support despite not having their own OC in it - because that is commendable and very kind of them.**

 **Anyways, enjoy the story! Warning: Chapters 2 and 3 are only Cast Updates - so you can skip those (unless you feel the urge to review and comment on the cast selection XD). At Chapter 4, the story begins - and I sincerely hope you enjoy it.**

 **Any questions? Shoot me a PM. Any thoughts? Leave a review. I'll respond to either. :D**

 **Much love,**

 **Tomato Soup**

* * *

 **OH! By the way! There were a few little references in the chapter, if you caught on! First of all, there was a reference to Mew's show, 'Total Pokemon Island'. This story is written by Dark Amphithere, and is where most of this TPI stuff is inspired from. The second reference was a remake of the show, with Ho-Oh and Lugia as hosts! This reference is from 'Total Pokemon Island', but this time written by Ichimono. And finally (Tomato Soup's personal favourite because this was also pretty much the first TPI she ever read and the meme jokes are lit af), was a reference to Victini's 'original' show, called 'Total Pokkemon Island' and is written by Shuckle Senpai.**

 **We haven't actually sought permission from most of them. RIP. These guys are the only people who are permitted to hurt us.**

 **As for the name? That was heavily influenced by Shuckle Senpai as well, since adding an extra letter to Pokémon is a badass thing to do. XD Thanks, bruh. We love you. XD**


	2. Chapter 2: OC UPDATE

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all the submissions so far – they have been absol-utely (we have an Absol, omigosh) fantastic!

However, we need LOTS MORE. So keep them coming!

We've just got a few issues.

To my surprise, there have been **LOTS** of similar characters being submitted. First of all, there have been lots of males. Like, a ridiculous amount of males. XD Some females would be nice too!

Because of that, I am now putting a new rule: If you are submitting two characters, **at least one of them has to be female**.

Sorry about that, but still, we kind of need some women here.

Also, lots of Pokemon are from Alola – which is fine! I'm glad you guys aren't obsessed with the old regions only and accept change. However, this does mean that lots of people are accidently submitting the same Pokemon as someone else.

So please! Try a different region! For Lord Magikarp's sake, I think I'll be submitting a Ludicolo – for no particular reason. XD We don't have **any** Pokemon from Johto, and only one from Kanto and one from Hoenn. So please! More regions!

Another thing, which surprised me a lot, is that lots of people seem to submitting characters with antagonistic qualities. And yes – we do need our antagonists. But most of them are classroom-bully types, which is really cool but we can't have too many of them. It'll be chaos. XD There is so much more we need! Here are a few suggestions:

OPTIMISTIC PEOPLE! (We have, like, none)

Supportive people are good too. They can be sassy and sarcastic, but we need supporters – how else do we get plot development? We need someone to help us provoke it sometimes. Think of your best friend. Submit someone like them.

Friendly, bubbly, outgoing, caring people – maybe even all of them in one. Note: I keep saying people. What I mean is Pokemon. XD

Sassy people. Geeky people. We need those too! We need strategists, quiet people, sarcastic and cynical people, kind people. All sorts! We need happy people! We do need our fair share of… idiots. xD Yes, we need some hooligans too. Some immature people. Some patient and polite people. Some hopeless romantics. Some… I dunno. Spiritual and wise people? O.O

Adventurous! Joyful! Happy! Imaginative – yes, a daydreamer or two would be nice. A grandma too would be hilarious.

Come on people! No more classroom bullies – and we have enough antagonists to last us for a while! But if you do have a brilliant idea for an antagonist, don't hold back.

Remember: we need females. O.O Like, holy Lord Magikarp, chill with the Alolan males. XD

 **UPDATE:** BRILLIANT! We've gotten so many more females! I am proud of all of you who have stepped out of your comfort zones to do so! THANK YOU! :D (Chibi and I helped - we made all our submissions female XD)

Just a few more spots to fill!

* * *

Here are Pokemon that have already been taken! Do not submit these, or those in their evolutionary line:

 **Males:**

1\. Absol

2\. Charizard

3\. Exeggutor

4\. Ghastly

5\. Golisopod

6\. Incineroar

7\. Lucario

8\. Lurantis

9\. Luxio

10\. Lycanroc

11\. Pancham

12\. Shroomish

13.

14.

15.

16.

 **Females:**

1\. Espeon

2\. Froslass

3\. Garchomp

4\. Honchkrow

5\. Ludicolo

6\. Mimikyu

7\. Musharna

8\. Noctowl

9\. Pumpkaboo

10\. Salazzle

11\. Skitty

12\. Stunkfisk

13.

14.

15.

16.

If that doesn't make it any clearer on how many more females we need, then… I don't know what else to say. XD SEND FEMALES DAMMIT. If you've already sent in two, I don't care. You're allowed to submit a third as long as she is female. XD


	3. Chapter 3: OC UPDATE AGAIN

HOLY LORD MAGIKARP PEOPLE. XD

You guys are actually brilliant listeners! I asked for females, and I got females.

And we love all the characters and we're having an impossible time choosing between them.

For now, we are going to slightly increase the number of contestants we have because… Holy God. You guys are mind-blowing, you know? I literally decided to gender-swap one of my OCs, to make sure there was some room. XD

But here is the current cast list:

* * *

 **Males:**

1\. Absol

2\. Charizard

3\. Dragonite

4\. Exeggutor

5\. Ghastly

6\. Golisopod

7\. Incineroar

8\. Krokorok

9\. Lucario

10\. Ludicolo

11\. Lurantis

12\. Luxio

13\. Lycanroc

14\. Meowstic

15\. Pancham

16\. Porygon-Z

17\. Ribombee

18\. Shroomish

 **Females:**

1\. Banette

2\. Buneary

3\. Espeon

4\. Froslass

5\. Garchomp

6\. Haxorous

7\. Jigglypuff

8\. Mimikyu

9\. Musharna

10\. Noctowl

11\. Primarina

12\. Pumpkaboo

13\. Salazzle

14\. Skitty

15\. Stunkfisk

16\. Vespiquen

17\. Zoroark

 **Special Gendered:**

1\. Magikarp

Brilliant work anyone!

I have one request: If you have already submitted an OC, please refrain from submitting another one unless you are busting out of your pants to do so. XD We would like to give an opportunity to those who still have not had a chance to submit. If we can't find any, then we will update and inform you all.

Thank you for the spam in my inbox!


	4. Chapter 4: Introductions

"Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the first episode of…. Total Phokémon Island!" A primarily green Pokemon with a flower crown announced, smiling toward the camera. "My name is Bellossom and I'm your hos-"

"Hello world! I'm Shaymin, your _actual_ host," The deer-like legendary, placing focus on the word actual, "smized" and winked at the viewers, before walking toward a pair of cruddy, run-down cabins across a couple of small luxury villas. In the center was a large statuette of the hostess herself, painted gold, and looking quite regal.

"These are the cabins, where our very lucky contestants will be staying!" Indicating toward the buildings, Shaymin grinned, before the camera cut to a campfire with lots of wooden seats and some sort of podium.

Bellossom, who had been obviously running, as she was panting and sweating heavily as she caught up with her boss. "U-um, m-miss Shaymin, could-could we perhaps g-go a slow-"

"Welcome to the campfire, where all the elimination ceremonies take place!" Shaymin continued, ignoring the flower Pokémon. "After every challenge, one competitor will be voted out by their peers. Everyone apart from that unlucky soul will receive a Gracidea flower. If you don't have one, it's bye-bye for you." She smirked, before heading towards the nearby docks. Pausing slightly, she bit her lip slightly, evidently at a loss for words.

"You need to introduce the first contestant, miss."

"Why'd you tell me that? Of course I knew that," Shaymin sighed, obviously displeased. "Now, our first contestant, Charizard."

A large, orange dragon like Pokémon flew down from the sky, landing with a slight thud on the docks, before silently making his way to the main island.

"Could you not? I'm trying to host a show here, duh!" Shaymin glared at the dual type, sighing slightly when he just glared at her. "The nerve…"

Charizard spoke, his voice possessing barely any emotion, "That's what I should be saying." He looked down at her, before continuing down the dock.

Staring after him in shock for a few seconds, Shaymin scowled, but quickly brightened up.

"Time for our second contestant, Exeggutor!"

When no one replied or came, she groaned loudly, before stating, "Ex, Egg and Tor."

A large Exeggutor came onto the dock, all three heads speaking at their own paces.

"Hi! I'm Ex, I hope we can be friends!"

"Oh… hello, I'm Egg. I'd like for everyone to get along please…"

"Hahaha, as if. I'm Tor, here to win this game and crush everyone!"

Exchanging glances with a slightly concerned Bellossom, the now slightly frustrated grass-type clenched her teeth, pointing toward where Charizard was.

"What?! Are you trying to make me go there?" Tor laughed boisterously, mocking her.

"Tor, I don't th-think you should pick fights." Egg smiled nervously, before all three of them moved forward.

Eyes glinting in anger, Shaymin snatched the list of contestants from her follower's (who felt more like a slave) hand, reading out the third name. As she began to speak, a large bipedal Pokémon strolled up the bridge, waving breezily at the camera.

"Next, we have Haxorus, our exceptionally talented… um, roller-skater?"

Unfazed, Haxorus chirped, "That's right! Roller-skating is my life, pretty much. No matter what my parents say, roller-skating will always be the love of my life. Unless, of course, I meet someone special – but even then, I doubt I'd like them as much as roller-skating. Unless they like ice-cream, of course. And-"

As the dragon-type began to ramble, Shaymin shot a pleading look to Bellossom, who had been standing off to the side, patiently engaged with the Haxorus' story. Seeing her helplessness, Shaymin sighed.

"Sorry, Haxorus," she interrupted. "Save it for later – we're on a bit of a tight schedule since _someone_ couldn't get Victreebel dressed in time."

Bellossom, dismayed, crossed her arms. "How is it my fault that Victreebel thought that the flower-crown was disgusting and refused to come out?"

"You know, arguing about the tight schedule isn't going to make the schedule any less tight," a Pokémon murmured, drifting towards the disputing Pokémon.

"Hey, Froslass," Shaymin greeted, a hint of frustration sharpening her voice. "Haxorus, Froslass, could you please make your way to the end of the dock, and wait for the other contestants?"

Both Pokémon agreed politely, exchanging delicate words to each other as they headed towards the opposing end of the docks.

Shaymin glanced at Bellossom. "Now, who is next to join this fabulous show?"

"I am," a feline Pokémon chimed in. "Though, I'm not sure about the fabulous apart."

"H-hey!" Shaymin protested, frowning as Bellossom giggled at the approaching Meowstic. "Why would you join the show if you didn't think it was fabulous?"

"Because I didn't realise it would be a cheap rip-off of Mew's show." With a playful wink, the Meowstic, using his levitating abilities, soared over to where the other two contestants were.

Shaymin, the twigs within her flower crown penetrating at awkward angles through the flourishing blossoms, hissed at the Meowstic. "I'll have you know that it is not _cheap_ -"

"My tarot cards are telling me that it was completely free of cost since you blackmailed all your grass-type companions into doing the hard work."

Shaymin whipped her head around to face a Ludicolo, who was gesturing at a pack of tarot cards. "What the _hell_ , man? How can a pack of cards tell you that?"

"They're no ordinary cards. They are- actually, it doesn't matter because my tarot cards are telling me that you won't even let me finish explaining-"

"Save it for later-"

"You're going to call me a Pineapple Duck, aren't you?"

"Pineapple Du- _dude_!" Shaymin squinted her eyes in suspicion. "Are you, like, an actual Ludicolo? How are you reading my mind?"

The Ludicolo shrugged, raising his deck of cards in the air. "My tarot cards reveal everything to me."

"Okay, then. Just join the rest of the cast, Pineapple Duck."

Bellossom shuffled closer to Shaymin as the Ludicolo sauntered towards the end of the dock. "Pineapple Duck? _Really_?"

"I always thought that Ludicolo's looked like Pineapple Ducks."

"Pineapples and ducks don't even exist in the Pokemon world, remember? It's Psyducks and Pinap berries."

"Relax. This is only FanFiction. Anyways, onto our next contestant! Pumpkaboo!"

Just as she said it, a tiny Phokémon that resembled a pumpkin began to hobble towards Shaymin.

"It is I, the amazing Pumpkaboo!" She twirled around for a little bit, but then teetered on one of her short, stubby legs and fell down.

"You are literally a thirty centimetre pumpkin." Bellossom pointed out, looking down at the small Phokémon.

Her round eyes starting to tear up, Pumpkaboo replied, "I am more than a 'thirty centimetre pumpkin!' I am beauty, I am grace-" Her monologue was interrupted by Shaymin once again.

"You're a thirty centimetre pumpkin with a big mouth, a love for Shakespeare and an extreme case of narcissism," Shaymin huffed. "We get it."

"But that wasn't even Shakespeare, you uneducated egg! Get thee to a nunnery-"

"Oh my," A mellow, yet amused voice called out from above. "Five seconds into the show and I can already hear drama."

The voice belonged to a Noctowl, who perched onto a tree nearby. Shaymin rolled her eyes at the incomer. "Welcome, Noctowl. Now, since Miss Little Pumpkin here couldn't keep her big mouth shut, we're running a little behind the schedule. Would you mind joining the rest of the cast?"

Noctowl nodded obediently, whilst Pumpkaboo spluttered in protest. "But-"

"You too, Pumpkaboo."

"My name is Pumpkaboo, you insulted my father Shakespeare, prepare to die," She muttered under her breath, giving her best death glare (which looked more like a pair of harsh headlights).

After Bellossom shoved Pumpkaboo away despite her wails of objection, Shaymin glanced back at her list of contestants. "So, next we have Krokorok!"

The Pokémon, with his ferocious eyes and determined stride, barely spoke as he approached Shaymin. "Hey, Shaymin. It's nice to be here."

Despite his calm, eloquent manner, his tail seemed to be frantically quivering behind him, tossing itself back and forth until it reached Bellossom. In one, fluid motion, Krokorok's tail had whisked away Bellossom's flower crown, balancing it steadily on the tip.

"Um…" Bellossom began. "Could you please return my crown-"

Krokorok turned to face Bellossom, bewildered. "Huh? I didn't- _oh_! Sorry about that." Snatching away the crown from his tail, Krokorok handed back the adornment and before Shaymin nor Bellossom could say anything, the ground-type had already stalked over to the other contestants.

"I hope that Krokorok keeps his tail under control," Shaymin murmured.

A Luxio pounced beside the host, his face alight with enthusiasm. "Do not fear, Shaymin! For, even if he cannot, I can create an invention so clever that, once attached onto his tail, his tail will be paralysed for good!"

"Isn't that a little extreme?" Bellossom chimed in, but the Luxio wasn't listening.

"Perhaps if ensure that my gadget is working in collaboration with my limitless energy one, it will work to its full potential," Luxio schemed, his head buried down in concentration as he strode down the dock.

Shaymin sighed. "Great. We have a creative inventor person. Any more creators in our cast?"

"There's a Magikarp," Bellossom offered.

"What-"

A deep, melancholic voice interrupted the legendary. "All things were made through Lord Magikarp, and without It was not anything made that was made."

The words came from none other than a Magikarp itself, and as it flopped over gracefully towards Shaymin.

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Shaymin stammered, her eye twitching with distaste.

The Magikarp, once again, began to preach in its warm hue of a voice. "For by Lord Magikarp all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities - all things were created through it for it. And It is before all things, and in It all things hold together."

"Oh my Lord Magikarp, catch me if I faint," Pumpkaboo whispered, leaning on Haxorus.

"Okay!" The dragon-type beamed happily at the smaller Pokemon, who looked like she was hyperventilating as the Magikarp began to make Its way down towards the dock.

"Did someone say _Magikarp_?"

Before anyone could locate the source of the voice, a Porygon-Z rushed onto the dock, frantically rampaging about whilst demanding, "Where is my Lord and Savior?"

"Introducing our next contestant, and our god-knows-how-many-th contestant I didn't get to introduce, Porygon-Z," Shaymin sighed, rolling her eyes exasperatedly.

"Is the air-conditioning switched on for the Lord?" The Porygon-Z asked abruptly, his hysterical eyes boring into Shaymin. "Or are you being a codger?"

"Porygon-Z," Shaymin huffed. "We're literally _outdoors_. How can we have an air-conditioner?"

"Fishmonger!" The Porygon-Z exclaimed in response, before being dragged across the dock by a rather exhausted Bellossom.

"I don't know why all your contestants are wasting their time worshipping a pathetic Magikarp," a gruff voice snarled from behind Shaymin. "They should be, obviously, spending their time fawning over these babies."

The Golisopod that had spoken was flexing his muscles, watching his own biceps with admiration and pride.

" _Please_ ," another new contestant smirked as she marched her way onto the dock. "At least they are worshipping something tangible. The Magikarp they worship actually exists, but I can't say the same about those muscles you're supposed to be flexing."

The sassy remark had come from a Buneary, who was significantly smaller that the Golisopod, yet had that same expression of concentrated ferocity within her.

"Golisopod and Buneary! Welcome onto the show!" Shaymin hastily greeted before the Golisopod could snarl back at the Buneary. The last thing the already tight schedule needed was a brawl to cut off their broadcast time. "Our next contestant is Vespiquen!"

The said Pokémon calmly drifted onto the dock, her expression serene as she gazed over her surroundings. "It's a lovely environment you have created, Shaymin," she complimented.

Shaymin, basking in the glory of the praise, gushed. "Thank you, Vespiquen!"

"It's no problem," the Queen Bee responded graciously, before making her way towards the other contestants.

" _Finally_ ," Shaymin sighed, revelling in momentary glee. "We have a _normal_ contestant! And next we have-"

Before Shaymin could finish, three Pokémon strolled onto the dock at once. The Pokémon in the centre was cowering in a little ball, her small and timid movements supported by the two Pokémon beside her, who were comforting and cheering her along.

The middle Pokémon, a Mimikyu, was stuttering something unintelligible whilst the Skitty beside her jauntily chirped beside her. "Come on, Mimikyu! No need to be shy! You'll be fine!"

The third Pokémon, a Shroomish, was also nodding with support and approval. "Yeah, you'll be okay. We're all in this together."

"But… What if-"

The Mimikyu was interrupted by another cheerful outburst from Skitty.

"Don't worry! I'm sure all the Pokémon here are nice. You're only scared of Jigglypuff, right? Well, honestly, what are the chances of a Jigglypuff being here-"

Shaymin interrupted the feline Pokémon instantly. "Actually, we do have a Jigglypuff in the cast who is yet to arrive."

"Oh, well-"

"There will be a _Jigglypuff_?" Mimikyu shrieked, before collapsing onto the dock. Skitty and Shroomish both crowded around the unconscious Pokemon, and Shaymin snapped the camera back towards her.

"And there we have our next three contestants: Mimikyu, Shroomish and Skitty! Ad break! Ad break! Ad break!"

* * *

"Shaymin! We have a problem!"

"What is it _now_ , Bellossom?" Shaymin snapped, glancing back to the grass-type Pokémon. "Our next contestant will be here any second-"

"Well, well, well," an amused voice echoed from behind Shaymin. She turned around, to find herself staring bewilderedly at a Lucario.

"Yes?"

"You must know tail-whip, Shaymin, because your beauty leaves me defenceless," the Lucario mused, winking suggestively at both Bellossom and Shaymin.

Bellossom smacked her face exasperatedly, whilst Shaymin twitched an eye. Lucario staggered back, somewhat alarmed by Shaymin's swelling rage.

"Oh, Arceus, I'm sorry. You're not one of those legendries who claim to be genderless, are you? Because, you- ah, _shit_!" Lucario exclaimed, stumbling over Shaymin in a hasty struggle to join the rest of the cast.

A few of the contestants sniggered as the Lucario clumsily hobbled over to them, a little distressed.

Ludicolo shuffled his tarot cards, nodding eagerly. "It seems that young Lucario is quite scared of mistaking a male or genderless Pokémon as a female."

Lucario cast a suspicious glance at Ludicolo. "How do you know that?"

"My tarot cards never lie." With a shrug, Ludicolo examined through his tarot cards again.

Meanwhile, Bellossom smoothed down the ruffled leaves on Shaymin's head, trying to coax her. "The Lucario isn't _that_ bad. He seems to be one of the nicer contestants. Besides, all he said was-"

Shaymin glowered at Bellossom, her eyes narrowing with resent. "Rule number six hundred and fifty four: _only legendries flirt with legendries._ "

"But I heard that Manaphy had a thing for a Ditto?"

"That's a lie."

"Then how was Phione-"

"We don't talk about that, Bellossom. We don't _ever_ talk about that. That's why none of us like Phione."

Suddenly, the tide surrounding the island rose as a Pokémon resembling a mermaid with a pink snout gracefully emerged from the oncoming wave. Shaymin only had time to groan as the water surfed over her, drenching her neat array of leaves.

The Pokémon, Primarina, shook her head patiently at Shaymin. "Don't say that about our baby Phione. All Pokémon should be loved unconditionally, no matter the circumstance."

Shaymin grumbled under her breath, her lip twisted into a snark. Bellossom gestured for Primarina to join the rest of the Pokémon, and Primarina elegantly glided across to where Bellossom gestured. Shaymin huffed, before exchanging an accusatory glance at Bellossom.

A low, rumbling laugh resonated behind Shaymin. "Some host you are. Your contestants have more power over you."

The snarl came from an Incineroar, who was striding nonchalantly along the bridge. Shaymin shot him a glare.

"Just join the rest of the contestants, Incineroar."

" _What_? No introduction for the magnificent-"

Shaymin deadpanned. "Audience, this is Incineroar. Incineroar, welcome to the show. Now join the rest of the cast."

Hearing the glutting use of sarcasm in Shaymin's voice, Incineroar's lips twisted into a frown. Just as he reached out to grab Shaymin, a voice called out from behind him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

Everyone turned to face a small Pancham, who was gazing defiantly at Incineroar.

Incineroar arched an eyebrow condescendingly. "And why not?"

Pancham whipped out a long scroll of paper, unwinding it rather dramatically. Finally, he held up the crisply thin slice of paper and pointed at an inky smudge towards the centre.

"Rule number four-hundred and thirty eight: _at no time in the show is it permitted for a contestant to make any form of physical contact with the host._ "

Shaymin gaped, eyes widening with respect. "You _actually_ read through the entire list of terms and conditions?"

Pancham nodded proudly, starting to coil up the scroll. Incineroar took a threatening step towards him, folding his arms coolly.

"Oh, yeah? Well, are there any rules about physical contact from one contestant to another?"

Pancham didn't flinch. "Bring it, you insolent-"

A sharp scream interrupted the dispute.

It was a Ghastly, who was floating around in circles, screeching as he went about.

"Don't hurt me! I wanna go home! Mummy! I want my mummy!"

Shaymin shoved Incineroar and Pancham towards the rest of the cast whilst Bellossom attempted to wheedle Ghastly, who was timidly trying to explain his hysterical burst.

"I… I hate fire types… And I hate dark t-types… And the first Pokémon I see is a fire _and_ dark type and I want my mummy!" His eyes flickered back to where Incineroar was standing, and he tried to make a bolt for it. Before he could, though, a Lycanroc pounced beside him.

"WHERE ARE THE MEAT BICYCLES?"

Ghastly, upon hearing the chaotic outburst, promptly fainted. Lycanroc blinked at the unconscious Pokémon, slightly muddled.

Shaymin groaned. "Great. Let me guess: Ghastly is also scared of rock-types?"

The Lycanroc glanced up curiously. "I've always wanted the IQ of a rock."

"Congratulations! You've already achieved that!"

Bellossom nudged Shaymin, an irritated expression plastered over her usually optimistic features. " _Shaymin_. That's insulting!"

"You're right. It's insulting to a rock."

Lycanroc wasn't fazed. He cradled Ghastly in his hand and leapt towards the other contestants, yelling, "I'm Lycanroc and I'm the conductor of, not just any train, but the-" he paused as his eyes landed on Magikarp.

"Lord… Magikarp? My master!"

With that, he dropped Ghastly on the ground and sat obediently, keeping an observant eye on Magikarp.

"This is more exhausting than I thought," Shaymin sighed, the initial sparkle in her eyes dimmed. "Who's next?"

Luckily for Shaymin, the next two contestants were a lot more composed. Both a Garchomp and a Lurantis strolled up the bridge calmly, both of them snarling. Shaymin exhaled deeply, before forcing a smile on her face.

"Garchomp! Lurantis! Welcome to the show!"

Lurantis murmured something polite and curt, whereas Garchomp completely ignored the legendry. Her eyes scanned the crowd intently, examining each and every Pokémon.

"Looking for someone?" Lurantis offered, a snide undertone to his voice.

"None of your business," Garchomp snapped.

Lurantis cocked his eyebrow, his lips broadening into a sadistic grin. "You know, that Charizard seems to be watching us. He doesn't look too bad himself-"

Garchomp turned on Lurantis, glaring daggers at the mantis. "If you touch him, I will rip out your organs and put them in a jar. Understand?"

With that, she strode off and stood tall beside Charizard. Though neither the Charizard nor Garchomp spoke, they gave each other a knowing glance. To Lurantis' surprise, Garchomp's cold demeanour had vanished immediately, and her scowl was replaced with a giggle.

Lurantis shrugged, and headed over towards the Ludicolo. Ludicolo, still immersed in his tarot cards, didn't acknowledge the mantis beside him.

"What have you got there?" Lurantis asked, peering over.

Ludicolo held out his cards pompously. "These are tarot cards, my good friend! They help me predict the future, and tell me whether I should do something or not. They tell me the positive and negative impacts, and they help me tell people's fortunes."

Lurantis nodded slowly, mesmerised. "May I take a look?"

Ludicolo happily tossed his cards towards Lurantis. "Of course! I'm glad to see that someone _finally_ has taken in interest in my tarot cards!"

"And they _always_ predict the future correctly?"

"You bet they do!"

Just as he said that, Lucario made his way over to the duo.

"Lurantis," Lucario began with a wink, "You're so hot that I think-"

"I wouldn't finish that off if I were you," Ludicolo advised.

Lucario gave the fortune-teller a sceptical look. "Why not?"

"Because my cards are telling me that Lurantis is a male."

Lucario paled immediately, giving Lurantis a questioning glance. When Lurantis nodded in agreement, Lucario, flabbergasted, stumbled backwards. "I freaking _hate_ it when male Pokémon look like females," he hissed, shuddering at the memory of Lurantis' apathetic gaze.

Lurantis turned to face Ludicolo. "Your cards told you that I was a male?"

"Yes."

"Your cards really _don't_ lie," Lurantis marvelled, handing the cards back to Ludicolo. Unbeknownst to Ludicolo, a wicked smirk started to grow on Lurantis' face.

Shaymin tapped her foot impatiently. "Where in the world is the next contestant?"

"Found her!"

Bellossom, who had been searching inside one of the nearer boats, was beginning to walk up the bridge. Levitating beside her was a Musharna.

"She had fallen asleep in the boat," Bellossom explained as she finally dragged Musharna onto the island.

"Musharna!" Shaymin exclaimed, in an attempt to snap awake the Pokémon. "I'm glad you can join us!"

"Huh? … What have I joined…?"

"Total Phokémon Island, of course!"

"Oh? … Mew's competition...?"

"Er, no. Shaymin's spin-off, of course," Shaymin corrected.

"…"

"Musharna?"

"…"

Shaymin, alarmed, started to shake Musharna. "Musharna?"

"Huh? Oh! … Morning?"

Shaymin's eye twitched. "If you want to win this competition, you're going to need lots of luck."

Musharna's face turned bright red. "… Why, Shaymin… That is highly inappropriate, I think? Privacy is very important to me…"

Shaymin stared at Musharna, mystified. Remaining in awkward silence, the ball rolled around Shaymin's head until it finally dropped into place. Shaymin's jaw dropped as realisation dawned upon her.

"Musharna! I said _luck_ not _fuck_!"

Musharna wasn't listening, though. She had already fallen asleep.

After an exasperated sigh, Shaymin gave a twitchy smile to her contestants. "Don't worry, our next competitor is a Dragonite, so that will be lots-"

Shaymin didn't get to finish, however, as she was promptly splashed with water. She turned around, snarling, to find Dragonite, bouncing about in the water.

"Dragonite? I thought you were flying here."

"Why would I do that? I'm a water-type, raised by Lord Magikarp!"

Shaymin watched as Dragonite finally heaved himself out of the water and joined the other contestants, clumsily tripping over a few Pokémon on the way.

"Alright," Shaymin huffed. "I admit, selecting contestants that worship a Magikarp was a terrible idea."

"Don't worry," a voice chimed in. "Diversity is always a good thing! Stay positive, and I'm sure that things will become great. You've just gotta strive forward!"

The gently ring came from a Jigglypuff, who was hopping towards Shaymin, a smile radiating from her face.

"Thanks, Jigglypuff. Welcome to the show! I hope we don't deflate your optimism too much," Shaymin said, a sympathetic smile already on her face.

"Nah, I'm sure this will be awesome! I'm sure we'll all make lots of amazing friends."

"I sure hope so," a bee-like Pokémon buzzed from behind Jigglypuff. "That is, if anyone actually wants to be my friend."

Jigglypuff gave a dismissive wave. "Don't worry, Ribombee! I'll be your friend, for sure."

The Ribombee looked at the ground, before timidly murmuring. "Sure? I mean, you just met me…"

"I would _love_ to be your friend!"

"Really?"

"Of course-"

"Alright, alright," Shaymin interrupted. "You two are friends already. Great. Now could you please join the rest of the contestants? Sorry, our schedule is a little… tight."

Jigglypuff, not at all disheartened by Shaymin's snappy retort, bounced straight to the other contestants while Ribombee trailed behind her.

Shaymin turned back around to find purple eyes with slit pupils staring straight at her.

" _Shit_!" Shaymin exclaimed, jerking backwards.

The Banette that had been watching Shaymin also shrieked, "Y-y-you sw-swore!"

Regaining herself, Shaymin tilted her head sceptically. "If you're going to scream every time you hear a Pokémon swear, you're going to be exhausted by the end of this episode."

The Banette nodded shyly, eyes wide with alert. "S-sorry, Shaymin!"

"Don't worry about it. Just join everyone else over there."

Banette hesitantly started to glide towards the other contestants, but she was halted when a Dark Pulse was fired straight at her, burning part of the plank bridge below her.

With a squeal, she ran straight into Bellossom's arms. Shaymin turned to scowl at the Pokémon who fired the Dark Pulse.

" _What_ do you think you're doing?"

It was an Absol, whose eyes were widened in surprise and regret. "Oh, Arceus, I am so sorry! That wasn't supposed to be aimed at Banette. I was going to have a bit of fun with a prank, and I didn't think it through well enough, and I was actually aiming for Shaymin-"

Shaymin sighed. "Don't worry about- hey, who did you say that was aimed for, asshat?"

Absol smiled sheepishly, before quickly making his way to the contestants, leaving the unanswered question lingering in the air.

"Seriously, the number of dark-types and ghost-types are concerning me," Shaymin told Bellossom, gesturing at the bits of dark matter pulsing from where Absol had aimed his beam.

"That's a shame, because you've got another one right here," a tall, fox-like Pokémon muttered. The Zoroark was composed, carrying her shoulders high.

"Did someone say _dark-type_?" An Espeon leapt onto the bridge, her face crumpled in a wince. "I _hate_ dark-types. You all think you're so smart and clever, when really, you're all just a bunch on jerks."

Zoroark rolled her eyes. "Good to know."

Absol, on the other hand, was watching from the opposing side of the bridge. He bit his lip, flinching a little at the insult to his type. Then, his mouth broadened into a smile.

"That Espeon obviously hasn't spent enough time with a dark-type, if she's making such harsh accusations. I think I can be the one to change that," he murmured excitedly to himself.

"And how, exactly, do you plan on doing that? With whatever you have in that sack?" Noctowl asked him curiously, gesturing at Absol's sack, balanced on his back.

"Oh, _no_. Those are my Pecha berries. _No one_ touches those."

Back where Shaymin was, another dark-type Pokémon had made her way onto the bridge.

"Salazzle! Welcome to the show!" Shaymin exclaimed. "You're our second last contestant to arrive!"

The corner of Salazzle's mouth quirked up into a smirk. "And I bet I'll be the last one to leave as well."

Golisopod laughed patronisingly at that, grinning at her arrogantly. "Tough words coming from a lizard. Why don't you run back to Mummy, like the little pathetic Salandit you are?"

"Like you can say much. Weren't you once a Wimpod?" Salazzle sneered.

That felt like a punch in the gut to Golisopod.

"Listen here, _bitch-_ "

"My name is Salazzle," she stated, taking a threatening step forwards. "But it makes no difference if my name is Salazzle, Salandit or _bitch_ , because I'll still beat you no matter what you call me."

No one dared to utter a sound to either Salazzle or Golisopod, both who looked like they were ready to snap at any moment. Finally, it was Magikarp who decided to break the awkward silence.

"Names are not important," it preached. "It's what lies inside of you that matters."

"Preach!" Lycanroc and Porygon-Z both exclaimed in unison, before giving each other startled looks.

"Thank you, Magikarp," Shaymin said, making her way over to the contestants. "Now, we have a very special someone coming as our final competitor. So I thought I might give her a bit of an introduction. Does anyone watch Pokémon's Next Top Model?"

A few of the Pokémon murmured excitedly.

"Last year, this Pokémon auditioned for that show. But due to a few unfortunate circumstances, she did not actually make it onto that show. However, she's decided to join our show instead. So, without any further ado, I would like to welcome the most beautiful Pokémon in the region!"

All the Pokémon gasped as an Altaria swooped down towards the bridge, completely in awe of the flying-type's beauty.

"I present to you…" Shaymin called out over the astonished gasps, "Stunfisk!"

With that, the Altaria landed, dropping a flat Pokémon that was completely coated in mud onto the bridge.

Everyone stared at the Stunfisk, who was oblivious to their distasteful gazes.

"I know I am stunning, but please, I didn't mean to render you all speechless," Stunfisk said, her voice a long, slow drawl.

Even Shaymin seemed a little baffled, as she quickly tried to pinpoint the attention elsewhere.

"Listen here, everyone! It's time for the confessionals!" She pointed at a little treehouse just above. "First come, first served!"

Everyone started to leave the dock, some rushing towards the confessionals whilst some others lingered behind. Finally, only two Pokémon remained at the docks.

"Musharna? Wake up."

After being shaken several times, the psychic Pokémon finally awoke from her slumber to find Incineroar nudging her, looking bored rigid.

"Oh…? Incineroar, how long was I asleep…?"

Incineroar kept his mouth shut, starting to follow the crowd towards the confessionals.

"Incineroar…? How long was I asleep…?"

"…"

"Were you asleep too?"

Incineroar huffed. "Only until you began drooling on my shoulder."

Meanwhile, in the queue for the confessionals, Stunfisk was sulking to herself. Noctowl observed her, trying to find some way to compose the so-called 'model'. Was she upset over the fact that no one complimented her appearance?

"Just in case you didn't know," Noctowl said sweetly. "You're attractive."

Stunfisk sniggered at the Noctowl. "Oh, trust me. I know."

 **0000**

 **Shaymin sat within the tree-house, comfortably snuggled up in a beanbag.**

 **"So, the confessionals are simple. A Pokémon can come here by themselves, and they can rant or gush or say anything they want. They can do so at any time of the episode. So, confess away!"**

 **0000**

 **Buneary snarled, folding her arms sternly. "I have to come first. Not even second will do. After all, second is just the polite way of saying that you're the last loser."**

 **0000**

 **Incineroar flexed his muscles. "I have got this in the bag. At first, I thought the Dragonite might be a threat, but it turns out he is as derpy as the Magikarp."**

 **0000**

 **"I'm glad that I'm not the only Pokémon here representing dark-types!" Absol chirped, before biting his lip thoughtfully. "Though, I have to see what is up with that Espeon. How could anyone hate a dark-type?"**

 **0000**

 **Porygon-Z looked thoughtfully at the camera within the tree-house. "Camera means that- am I a Wailord? Carpogenic! Basidiolichen?"**

 **0000**

 **"I'm here to win," Pumpkaboo said, her voice hard with conviction. "And, you know, be fucking amazing."**

 **Suddenly, she winked seductively. "And pick someone up, maybe."**

 **0000**

 **As his tail wandered frantically in the air, Krokorok bit his lip. "Honestly, I hope my tail doesn't become too much of a problem. It happens to have a… habit… of snatching things. I don't know how, but my tail managed to steal a violin."**

 **0000**

 **"Has anyone seen my violin?" Mimikyu asked the camera, breathing heavily. "I hope it's not that Jigglypuff. Ugh, they terrify me. The way they just… stare into your soul…"**

 **0000**

 **Skitty grinned cheerfully. "This is going to be fun! I'm going to make lots of friends!"**

 **0000**

" **I'm surprised that I was allowed to bring my tarot cards onto the show," Ludicolo admitted. "They're a huge advantage, since I can predict everything and anything with them. I have positive cards and negative cards, and if the positive cards show up more than the negative cards, that means that I a positive outcome will happen. If I pull out a negative card, that means that there will be a bad consequence to face."**

 **His face brightened. "I'm glad I made friends with Lurantis! He seems to share the same passion in tarot cards! I didn't get to check my cards to see if he was a person worthy of my trust, but I suppose that if he can appreciate my cards, he must be good."**

 **0000**

 **Lurantis smiled smugly at the camera, before pulling out a few cards and displaying them in front of him.**

" **Ludicolo has told me exactly how the tarot cards will work, and how he will use them. If he has to do something, he will always check his cards first. If he pulls out a negative card, he won't do it. If he pulls out a positive card, he will do it."**

 **Lurantis gazed carefully at the cards. "But it seems that I may have accidently** _ **borrowed**_ **a few of Ludicolo's cards. And, what a coincidence, they all happen to be the positive cards! I hope he doesn't consult his cards anytime soon, because he will only have negative cards with him."**

 **With a grin, he stuffed the cards back.**

" **I'll return them to him** _ **eventually**_ **."**

* * *

 **Tomato Soup: AAAAAAAAAAAAND CUT! That's chapter one, folks! I'm sorry it took so long - a few things came up and so Milk Carton and I got very distracted. Nonetheless, we now have GoogleDocs so we can both write together as one! So, these chapters will be super random. XD Be ready.**

 **But anyways! What did you guys think? Too random? Too weird? Any favourite stand-out characters, or any characters that you absol-utely (HAAHAH GET IT?) hate? Any favourite moments? I was, personally, very proud of 'Musharna! I said** _ **luck**_ **, not** _ **fuck**_ **!' - I was proud. But I want to hear what you guys think! Any predictions? Please review! We'll try not to eliminate Pokemon based on reviews - but it may just end up happening, because I'm a real softie who hates breaking reviewer's hearts. So please review to save me the trouble! Also, some ideas for challenges would be nice. XD**

 **Milk Carton: How is everyone doing on this beautiful day? Did you like this chapter or not? Why or wy-naut (HAHAHAH WE'RE SO FUNNY)? Who will win? Who will lose? Find out next time on… TOTAL PHOKEMON ISLAND!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Wheel of Fortune

**Chapter II: The Wheel of Fortune**

"Welcome back to Total Phokémon Island!" Shaymin chirped at the camera, grinning enthusiastically. "Last episode, we introduced all the cast-"

"They introduced themselves," Bellossom interjected, her arms folded dubiously.

Shaymin shot Bellossom a dirty look, "The cast was introduced, one way or another, and the teams were announced!"

"No, they weren't."

"Yes, they- oh, _shit_ , they weren't," Shaymin's eyes widened in horror and she spun around abruptly to face the cast members. "Hey, so before we continue onto the first challenge, let me tell you guys the team names, yeah?"

A few of the cast members rolled their eyes exasperatedly, whilst others perked their ears. Ignoring the frustrated and impatient groans from the Pokémon around her, Shaymin pulled out a slip of paper and began reading enthusiastically.

"Lycanroc, Absol, Stunfisk, Golisopod, Charizard, Shroomish, Haxorus, Salazzle, Krokorok, Froslass, Incineroar, Vespiquen, Ghastly, Ludicolo, Noctowl, Skitty, Espeon, and Buneary; you guys are the Guzzling Groudons!"

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk spat at the camera, "** _ **Guzzling**_ **Groudons? Couldn't it be something that described my beauty a lot better? What about Glamorous Groudons, or Graceful Groudons? Gorgeous Groudons would suit me perfectly as well. But,** _ **no**_ **. We have to be freaking** _ **guzzling**_ **Groudons."**

 **0000**

"Now," Shaymin continued, raising her voice to drown out the protests of all the Pokémon. "That means that Garchomp, Lurantis, Ribombee, Luxio, Zoroark, Banette, Jigglypuff, Magikarp, Mimikyu, Musharna, Primarina, Pumpkaboo, Lucario, Dragonite, Exeggutor, Meowstic, Pancham, and Porygon-Z are the Killer Kyogres!"

 **0000**

" **You know, Killer Kyogres isn't that bad of a name compared to Guzzling Groudons," Espeon noted. "Here I was thinking that Shaymin would be stupid enough to give us a name like the Kinky Kyogres."**

 **0000**

"Okay, so now that you know your teams, it's time to begin our first challenge!" Shaymin exclaimed. "This challenge is really simple. You will split off into pairs, and the pair of you will venture out and explore the island. As a pair, you must find a Lum Berry and eat it. Simple. So, get ready, steady and-"

"No!" Bellossom cried out suddenly, placing a hand over Shaymin's mouth. "You forgot the twist!"

Shaymin groaned. "Right. The twist. We decide your pairs for you, and you will be paired up with someone from the other team. So a Guzzling Groudon will be paired up with a Killer Kyogre. Bellossom will tie your ankles together, so you two will be tied together as you search for the berry. When you two find the berry, the first person to eat the berry gets a point for their team!"

"Anything else?" Buneary asked, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Yes, actually. The whole purpose of having your ankles tied together is to make sure neither of you abandon each other on the hunt for the berry. So, if you and your partner are more than thirty metres apart from each other, whichever one of you that did the abandoning will be disqualified and unable to earn a point for their team. Understand?"

All the Pokémon nodded eagerly.

"Brilliant!" Shaymin sang. "Now, time to see which person from the enemy team you're paired up with. These were completely selected at random, so you better hope that fortune was on your side. Pineapple Duck-er, Ludicolo is with Lurantis."

Ludicolo smiled brightly, turning to face his partner, "Lurantis, my friend! The wheel of fortune has brought us together yet again!"

"Looks like it did," Lurantis replied, smiling amusedly at the excitement plastered on the Ludicolo's face.

"Please don't interrupt me after I announce every pair," Shaymin snapped. "Otherwise this chapter will end up taking years to publish. Anyways, back to teams. Garchomp and Charizard are a team, as are Jigglypuff and Espeon."

Garchomp and Charizard exchanged knowing glances, small smiles spreading across their faces. Espeon simply groaned as Jigglypuff bounced her way towards her.

"Zoroark and Buneary are a team, and so are Salazzle and Ribombee. Same goes with Krokorok and Banette, Absol and Luxio, and Musharna and Froslass."

The newly announced pairs were mostly nonchalant, though Froslass arched her eyebrows at Musharna, who was lost in the depths of a dream.

"More pairs include: Haxorus and Porygon-Z, Pumpkaboo and Shroomish, Ghastly and Primarina, Golisopod and Dragonite, Noctowl and Meowstic, and Stunfisk and Lucario."

 **0000**

 **Golisopod grinned. "I'm with the derpy Dragonite that worships Magikarp. I've got this in the bag."**

 **0000**

"Incineroar and Ex, Egg and Tor are all one group, since we can't really separate the egg brothers. That leaves Vespiquen with Mimikyu, Lycanroc with Magikarp and Skitty with Pancham."

"Would you look at that?" Ex burst out. "We're partners, Incineroar! We may be on opposite teams, but I'm sure we will be great friends!"

Tor snickered, "As if. We're going to beat your ass, Incineroar. We're going to beat it hard-"

"I don't t-think you should s-say that," Egg advised, his voice trembling with fear. "The Incineroar is not looking very happy."

Sure enough, Incineroar was glowering at all three heads of the Exeggutor, his lip twisted into a frown.

 **0000**

" **I'm with the three stooges," Incineroar hissed. "Kill me. Now."**

 **0000**

"Now that you have your pairs and you know the challenge, it's time to set off and hunt down some Lum berries! Remember, whichever team has the most Lum berries eaten is the winner of the challenge!"

* * *

"I can't believe our luck," Garchomp pointed out, as she and Charizard strolled through the forest, arm in arm. "We've been paired together in the very first challenge itself. We're only ten minutes into the show, and we've gotten alone time. Not that I'm complaining or anything."

Charizard, upon seeing Garchomp's playful grin, rolled his eyes. Even then, a smile was tugging at the corner of his lips as he said, "Yes, but we're on enemy teams. I'm a Groudon and you're a Kyogre, and we may be teamed up, but really, we're facing off against each other to see who eats the berry first."

"Yeah, yeah," Garchomp sighed. "But look, we're having some alone time – which I didn't think we would have. Why are we keeping our relationship a secret, anyways? There's nothing wrong with knowing a contestant beforehand. We even auditioned together and everything-"

"If people find out that we knew each other beforehand, they might perceive us as a threat or they might accuse us for cheating on our team just for the sake of each other."

"And are we going to do that?"

Charizard bit his lip, "I love you more than anything, Garchomp. You know that."

"I love you, too. But for this challenge, what will we do? No one will be there when we find the berry, so we don't really have to put on some sort of fight for it. One of us can save us the trouble and eat the damned berry. But it wouldn't be fair for the one who doesn't eat the berry."

Charizard and Garchomp eyed each other closely, before simultaneously darting their eyes towards the vine that bound them together.

"You should eat the berry, Garchomp."

Garchomp's jaw dropped slightly, "Why me?"

"If we look at the competition, chances are we're not going to be eliminated first. There are at least three Pokémon here that are too busy worshipping the Magikarp to even care about the competition. So whichever one of us eats the berry, as long as we're subtle and no one sees us, we will be fine."

"If we will be fine either way, why are you making me eat it?"

Charizard arched his eyebrow, "Ladies first."

Garchomp released a small, boisterous laugh, but quickly clamped a hand over her mouth."We better make sure no one hears us." Charizard nodded in agreement, and they continued threading through the forest.

Unbeknownst to both of them, Lurantis and Ludicolo had been lurking closely behind them. Though Ludicolo was too busy shuffling through his tarot cards, Lurantis had been peering intently at both Garchomp and Charizard, squinting his ears so he could hear every detail of their conversation. The moment he saw them stride away, hand in hand, a grin began to stretch across his face.

 **0000**

" **Charizard and Garchomp knew each other before the competition, and are deeply in love? And they don't want anyone to know?" Lurantis asked, his snarl broadening. "There are a few survival tips I have for actually making it to the merge of this show."**

 **The grass-type leaned forwards, his eyes piercing through the camera.**

" **If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself."**

 **0000**

"What are you looking at, my dear friend Lurantis?" Ludicolo asked abruptly, his focus darting from the cards in his hand to his partner.

Lurantis shrugged, "Nothing much. Anyways, you were telling me something about fate or fortune before. What were you saying again?"

Ludicolo's features brightened immediately, the glee spreading warmth across his face. "I can't believe I've actually found a true friend who shares my passion for fortune! I believe in the Wheel of Fortune, where fate is decided completely by Fortune's Wheel. Fortune's wheel will sometimes take us up very high, but then sometimes throw us very low and there is nothing we can do but face the turn of it with courage and bravery."

"I see," Lurantis said, nodding his head slowly. "So we all have to endure what comes."

"We have to learn to treat misfortune and great fortune with indifference. _That_ is true wisdom."

Lurantis smiled sweetly, "I don't know why so many contestants are worshipping Magikarp when we have a true genius right over here."

And although his words were coated with kindness, the wicked grin that spread across his features seemed to suggest something else.

* * *

"Lord Magikarp's land is distortive."

"Oh, is it?" Haxorus asked the Porygon-Z. "I always thought it was Giratina who-"

"Verbarsiphonia!" The Porygon-Z exclaimed before Haxorus could even finish.

"Why, that is a mouthful. What does it mean, exactly?"

"Carnalism!"

Haxorus suddenly halted her movements. "Wait, that sounds a lot like cannibalism."

 **0000**

" **You know," Haxorus said, smiling tentatively. "I kind of enjoy talking to Porygon-Z. His mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind, except he happens to be insane."**

 **0000**

"Lord Magikarp, I have found the berry!" Lycanroc shrieked out, leaping back and forth, the Magikarp bouncing helplessly behind him. "It is atop the tree!"

"Brilliant, Lycanroc. Now carry Lord Magikarp and take me towards the tree, so Lord Magikarp may eat the Lum Berry," Magikarp demanded softly, his voice firm with conviction.

"Yes, Lord Magikarp!"

Within seconds, the Lycanroc had snatched the ripe, green berry from the tree and presented it towards the Magikarp.

"Now, Lycanroc, remember. You must not eat this berry. Remember when Adam and Eevee bit the apple which Lord Magikarp had told them specifically not to eat? They condemned the Pokémon world for good and stopped all Pokémon from ever stepping out of their virtual world to live side by side with humans. You must not repeat this foolish action. You must feed me the berry. Do you understand, Lycanroc?"

"Yes, Lord Magikarp! For I am not just any conductor, but the conductor of the Meat Train!"

The hysterical Lycanroc plopped the berry into Magikarp's mouth without a second thought, completely immersed by the preaching of the orange fish. The Magikarp, after chewing at an agonisingly slow pace, finally swallowed the berry.

Shaymin's voice blared over the loud-speaker. " _And Magikarp has eaten the first berry, scoring a point to the Killer Kyogres!"_

 **0000**

 **Incineroar gaped at the camera. "How the** _ **fuck**_ **did the** _ **Magikarp**_ **eat the first berry and get the point first?"**

 **0000**

"Wow, someone has already scored the first point!" Haxorus exclaimed to Porygon-Z, trying to offer a diversion from their current conversation regarding cannibalism.

"It's an endodermal process-" Porygon-Z started, oblivious to the Haxorus beside him.

Upon hearing the long, complex word, Haxorus immediately cut him off. "And it was the _Magikarp_ that scored the first point! How weird is that?"

Suddenly, the Porygon-Z froze in his place. His head twisted around at awkward angles, before his eyes locked into Haxorus' own. "What did you say about my Lord and Saviour Magikarp, swine-flu?"

"I said-"

Haxorus didn't get to finish her statement, though. Porygon-Z began wildly spinning around the room, his words becoming a scrambled mess as he darted back and forth, circling around Haxorus frantically.

"I will end you!" Porygon-Z screeched suddenly, before powering a thunder-bolt towards Haxorus, who was too startled to fight back or even duck for cover. The jolt of lightning struck her hard, and the Porygon-Z continued to shriek as it circled around her.

Haxorus, her mind spinning from the attack and the harsh movements of the Porygon-Z, stumbled backwards into a tree, smashing the back of her head hard against the bark. Upon hitting the tree, not only did Haxorus slump into unconsciousness, but a berry tumbled from a high tree-branch and landed in front of Porygon-Z.

Without a second thought, Porygon-Z leapt at the berry, shoving it down his throat just as Haxorus began to regain consciousness. The dragon-type could only watch in horror as the Porygon-Z finished swallowing the Lum Berry, her muscles throbbing with pain.

" _And Porygon-Z eats a berry, giving the Killer Kyogres another point!"_

 **0000**

" **First the Magikarp, and then the hysterical Porygon-Z?" Incineroar buried his head beneath his hands. "How is this even possible?"**

 **0000**

" **Never,** _ **ever,**_ **mess with a Magikarp believer." As Haxorus sunk into the beanbag, her eyes glazed over with terror. "I think I've been traumatised."**

 **0000**

"Are you _sure_ about this?" Garchomp asked, raising the Lum berry towards her mouth.

Charizard nodded, his analytical eyes darting to ensure their surroundings were completely bare. "I'm sure."

Garchomp, after a moment of hesitation, swallowed the berry.

" _And Garchomp has eaten a berry, which means… another point for the Killer Kyogres!"_

* * *

"Why are you sulking, Pumpkaboo?" Shroomish asked, hobbling beside the Pumpkin Pokémon, trying to soothe the ashen expression away from her face.

"Shaymin had the nerve to insult my father Shakespeare!"

"Well-"

"I'm not finished!"

Shroomish nodded patiently, urging for her to continue.

"The thing is," Pumpkaboo began, sniffling. "I try to be awesome, but no one seems to notice it! "

Shroomish gave one long, hard look towards Pumpkaboo. Finally, after a moment of silence, the grass-type spoke. "Listen, Pumpkaboo, it's always the fear of looking stupid that stops people from being awesome. So don't worry about what others will think, and you do what you believe you should do."

"Wow," Pumpkaboo gasped, her eyes widening with respect. "That's actually really… wise. You're like that character in a book, who is always offering really good advice."

Shroomish smiled, though awkwardly. "Nah, not really. If I were a book character, I'd be more of a side character. I'm not _that_ special. But, then again, that's only if I was in a story."

"But you _are_ in a story."

"Touché."

* * *

Unlike most teams, Ghastly and Primarina did not have a vine binding their limbs together, due to the inability to wrap anything around the ghost-type. Though graceful, Primarina was struggling to keep in speed with the Ghastly, who was frantically speeding forwards, driven by fear.

"My team members will _hate_ me if I lose this challenge, but I don't even think I am capable of defeating _you,_ Primarina-" The Ghastly was rambling, his voice a quivering line of unintelligible whimpers.

"Ghastly," Primarina stated calmly, interrupting the ghost-types terrified spasms. "If your team members hate you simply for losing a challenge, then they don't deserve to be your teammates, for that is selfish of them."

"But-"

Primarina shook her head, a serene expression washing over her features. "You can love the good inside someone and hate the bad inside someone, but the bad part is also part of what makes that someone. You cannot beat yourself up because you're scared that they will only see the bad, okay?"

"O-okay…?"

* * *

"Why are you so glum, Espeon? Cheer up – it's the start of an amazing experience!"

"I'm not glum," Espeon snapped at the Jigglypuff. "I just don't have the energy to pretend to like you today."

Jigglypuff, unfazed, shrugged. "Wait, so you're pretending to like me? You hardly know me, though. It's a bit harsh to decide that you don't like me if you just met me. I'm sure you'll grow to love me."

"That sounded _so_ gay."

"Well, I am bisexual. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being gay!"

"Sarcasm doesn't work on you, does it?"

 **0000**

 **Espeon scowled at the camera, her eye twitching with frustration. "Looks like I'm in trouble; sarcasm is my normal mode of communication."**

 **0000**

"The berry is a-all the way u-up there!" Mimikyu, her voice feeble, pointed up towards a high tree-branch, where a Lum berry tantalisingly held itself. "I k-know you want to make it fair and r-race there, but you can fly and I can't!"

Vespiquen reached down and patted the Mimikyu gently. "Don't say that. What I learnt from the hive is that even the smallest, weakest and most insignificant one matters."

* * *

Meanwhile, Buneary and Zoroark were trudging through the forest in silence, ignoring the presence of one another.

Once the silence became unbearably deafening, Buneary finally spoke. "Just so we're clear, if our legs weren't tied together with a vine, I would be running as far away from you as possible and finding that berry for myself."

"Just so we're clear," Zoroark snickered back. "I would have let you."

* * *

"I can't find the berry anywhere!" Banette huffed, hovering around the trees as Krokorok dragged himself behind her. While Banette continued peering from tree to tree, Krokorok's tail began to quiver in an uncontrollable motion.

Krokorok, who was busy scanning the ground for a berry, was oblivious as his tail started to perk itself high into the air, swiping roughly at a nearby tree branch. After a number of futile efforts, the tail finally managed to grasp hold of the branch and tear it away from the tree. Falling with the branch itself came a Lum berry.

"Um… Krokorok? Your tail is doing t-the _thing,_ " Banette noted with terror.

Krokorok sighed. " _Again_?" He turned his head slightly, so he could see his tail through his peripheral vision. "What did you find this time, buddy?"

The sight of the Lum berry, zesty and ripe against the brown of his tail, sent a wave of excitement through Krokorok. His tail flicked the berry into the air, where Krokorok opened his gaping jaw and gulped down the berry as it dropped into his jaw.

Banette's jaw dropped. "W-when did you even find the berry?"

"Don't ask," Krokorok sighed, almost sheepishly.

" _And Krokorok ate his berry before Banette, meaning that the Guzzling Groudons finally have a point!"_

* * *

"I can do this. I _will_ do this!" Mimikyu chanted to herself as she scaled the tree, her tiny silhouette hardly managing to hold herself up. Vespiquen had almost reached the berry, as she had flown (albeit slowly), but Mimikyu knew she had a chance. She just had to believe.

That was, until, she heard a voice chime behind her.

"Woohoo! Look, Espeon, I found a berry!"

Mimikyu recognised the distinct voice of the Jigglypuff immediately. Releasing a high-pitched squeal, the Mimikyu's hands felt suddenly clammy and numb, forcing her grip to weaken.

Vespiquen, seeing the Mimikyu internally battle her fear, hastily rushed towards the berry and plopped it into her mouth, before lowering herself to catch the Mimikyu as she fell.

" _Vespiquen beat Mimikyu to the berry, earning the Guzzling Groudons another point!"_

* * *

"Woohoo! Look, Espeon, I found a berry!"

Espeon scowled as the Jigglypuff approached the Lum berry. She could not let the Jigglpuff beat her.

"Wait! Jigglypuff, you're bisexual, right?"

Jigglypuff, slightly bewildered, turned to face Espeon. "Um… Yeah, why?"

Without a moment of hesitation, Espeon winked suggestively at the Jigglypuff. "Oh, you know, just wondering…" As she trailed off, bright, pink love hearts began to bubble around her.

Jigglypuff's eyes began to widen with sudden adoration. "Oh, Espeon, you're so beautiful! How did I never notice this before?"

"Me? Beautiful?" Espeon pretended to gush. "Aww, sweetie, you're too kind. Now, how about you be a babe and feed me that Lum berry?"

"Sure thing, my love!"

 **0000**

 **Espeon rolled her eyes. "Attract. It works every time. Don't worry; Jigglypuff will forget all about her sudden love for me within an hour or so."**

 **0000**

" _And Espeon beat Jigglypuff to the berry, meaning that the Groudons are now tied with the Kyogres on three points!"_

* * *

"Now _that_ was stupid."

"But Shroomish," Pumpkaboo whined. "You literally said that the only thing stopping people from being awesome was others calling them stupid."

Shroomish stubbornly clenched his jaw. "Yes, but what you did was stupid."

"I was trying to be awesome!"

"You nearly burnt the entire forest down!"

"Yes," Pumpkaboo admitted. "But it was _awesome_."

Surrounded by ashes and darkened bits of woodland, Shroomish leaned backwards against one of the only standing trees, thanking Arceus that Pumpkaboo's Flamethrower had just managed to miss him.

"Besides, Shroomish, I also found a Lum berry!"

Suddenly snapping up from his relaxed position, Shroomish gasped at Pumpkaboo. "Where?"

But Pumpkaboo's mouth was already too busy chewing the Lum berry to bother answering the question.

" _And Pumpkaboo ate her berry before Shroomish did, giving the Killer Kyogres another point!"_

* * *

"Okay," Ex was saying. "If we find the berry before Incineroar, which one of us will eat the berry?"

Tor spat. "What do you mean _if_? You mean _when_ we find the berry first. Besides, it's obvious that _I_ should eat it.

"Um… Are y-you sure about that?" Egg prodded gently. "I t-thought we shouldn't get overly cocky about this s-sort of thing. The Incineroar seems strong."

"Doesn't matter. We will find the berry and I will eat it."

Ex rolled his eyes. "I don't think so. We should share the berry between the three of us. Or maybe whoever actually finds the berry out of the three of us should eat it first."

"It will obviously be me," Tor snapped.

"It might not be!"

Egg nodded his head. "Y-yeah. The Incineroar is s-scary. He might find the berry first."

"The Incineroar is no match against _me-_ "

"The Incineroar is _right here_!" Incineroar finally snapped, glaring at the three Exeggutor heads. "Will you three just shut up? Hearing you three bicker is like… hearing multiple voices in your head. It's annoying."

Tor scowled. "You can't make us shut up."

"Oh, hell yeah, I can."

Incineroar lunged forward and jerked his fists towards the Exeggutor, slamming them into the two outer heads, knocking both Ex and Tor unconscious. Egg squealed in fear, calling out the names of his brethren, willing them to regain consciousness.

"Now," Incineroar said, his beady eyes scrutinising as he gazed at Egg. "Unless you want to end up like the other two Exeggutor heads, you're going to shut up and help me find the berry."

Egg gulped, sweat beginning to moisten his head. "Y-yes! In fact, I think the berry is on the tree right behind you!"

Turning around, Incineroar grinned to find that there was, indeed, a Lum berry stemming from a tree branch close by. He nodded approvingly at Egg. "Good job." Striding forward, Incineroar reached out and plucked the berry from the tree, before shoving it into his mouth.

" _And Incineroar beat the egg brothers, so he gets a point for the Guzzling Groudons!"_

 **0000**

 **In the confessional tree-house, Ex, Egg and Tor sat in silence, both Ex and Tor glaring at Egg.**

" **What?" Egg finally exclaimed, unable to bear the glares of his brethren. "I didn't want to die!"**

 **0000**

"Primarina! Look, I g-got the berry!" Ghastly chirped excitedly, gesturing at the berry that lay in front of him. He was high up in the air, with the berry balanced on a tree branch in front of him.

"I can't see from all the way down here," Primarina pointed out delicately. "I can't fly, remember?"

Ghastly grinned sheepishly. "U-um, does that mean I get to eat it?"

"Yep."

" _And Ghastly eats the berry before Primarina, so that's another point for the Guzzling Groudon!"_

* * *

Buneary scowled at the Lum berry, sitting atop a high tree branch. "Who's genius idea was it to hang the berries so high?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, Zoroark glanced at the tree. Buneary had already started climbing, and was quickly approaching the berry. For someone so small, Zoroark had to admit that Buneary was determined.

Without a murmuring a word, Zoroark took one final glance at the vine that secured her ankle to Buneary's. With Buneary climbing the tree so quickly, the vine was tugging Zoroark forwards, trying to get Zoroark to follow Buneary before the vine snapped. After a moment of pensive thinking, an idea began to formulate inside Zoroark's mind.

Whilst Buneary was busy pulling herself up the tree, Zoroark, utilising her illusion ability, began to transform into the first-flying type she thought of: Pidgeot. As soon as the brown wings began to sprout, the newly transformed Pidgeot soared into the air, stretching its talons to reach out and grab the Lum berry.

Buneary froze, watching the Pidgeot plunge down and claw the berry.

"A Pidgeot took my berry! Zoroark, did you see-" she stopped her protest as she glanced down to find that the vine that was supposed to leash her onto Zoroark was empty. "Zoroark? Where the hell did you…?"

The Pidgeot landed onto the ground, before its features began to darken and morph into those of a Zoroark. A smug grin on her face, Zoroark plopped the berry into her mouth and winked at Buneary. "Nice try, Buneary."

" _And Zoroark scores a point for the Killer Kyogres!"_

 **0000**

 **Golisopod folded his arms. "The first thing I learnt about Dragonite when he started to talk to me was that he didn't have much to say."**

 **0000**

"I wanna see Lord Magikarp, Golisopod."

"Shut up, Dragonite."

"But _Golisopod_ ; I wanna see Lord Magikarp.."

"I said _shut up_."

* * *

"…"

Froslass sighed exasperatedly. "Musharna, wake up please."

The psychic-type just managed to squint her eyes open. "Huh?

"We're paired up together and we need to find a berry," Froslass explained, gesturing at the vine that encircled around Musharna.

"Aren't we a little too young to get married, Froslass?"

"No," Froslass responded patiently. "We're looking for a _berry_."

Musharna nodded in understanding. "Oh… Why did you wait for me? I thought… I thought we were on opposing teams."

"Because we're literally tied together with a vine."

Musharna blinked. "No thanks… I don't drink alcohol…"

"What?" Froslass asked, her face scrunched up in confusion until she finally realised. " _Vine_ , Musharna, not _wine_!"

* * *

"Lurantis, I think we have a problem!"

Lurantis stifled a groan and smiled weakly at Ludicolo. "What is it?"

"My cards are being strange," Ludicolo said, biting his lip. "For some reason, my tarot cards giving me negative results."

"What do you mean?"

"Look here." Ludicolo gestured at the deck of cards in his hand. "Tarot cards, what happens if I turn left?"

After a moment, Ludicolo lifted up a card from the top of the deck. The card revealed a negative symbol, scathed with dark colours.

"See? It showed me a negative results-"

"Perhaps," Lurantis interjected. "We should not turn left then, and listen to your tarot cards and turn right instead."

"But when I asked it if we should turn right, it also showed me a negative result!"

Lurantis arched his eyebrow. "Which means that we will walk straight."

Ludicolo looked dubious. "But-"

"Don't worry, Ludicolo," Lurantis reassured. "Your tarot cards have never lied to you before; why would they lie to you now?"

* * *

"So, why did you read the _entire_ terms and conditions before coming onto this show?" Skitty asked, prancing beside Pancham.

"Because," Pancham began. "I must be wise. I must make all the right decisions for the sake of my team. You see, everything I do will affect someone else-"

"Um, Pancham?"

"-The inside and the outside are basically the same thing. It's like… if we're all trapped together in a small room and someone urinates in the corner, we all have to worry about it trickling across the floor and getting our paws wet…"

"That's great, Pancham, but-"

"… I can't be that person who lets my team members down. I have to be stronger and wiser. Not just for the sake of the show…"

"Pancham?"

"But for the sake of my tribe!" Pancham, after his dramatic monologue ended, turned to face Skitty, who was frantically gesturing at a berry beside her.

"I think I found the berry," Skitty chimed, leaning down to sink her teeth into the berry. Pancham's jaw dropped as he watched the kitten munch on the berry.

" _And Skitty wins a point for the Groudons!"_

 **0000**

 **Pancham slammed his head against the table. "I am a disgrace to my family, my friends and the Mime Jr. who lives next door to me."**

 **0000**

" _And Golisopod ate the berry before Dragonite, meaning that the Groudons have won another point!"_

The camera panned back to where Golisopod and Dragonite were. Golisopod was grinning menacingly as he swallowed the berry, whilst Dragonite lay on the ground in a crumpled mess, whimpering helplessly.

"Ow, Golisopod, ow?"

* * *

"Um," Ribombee tentatively murmured. "Do you want some, um, help?"

Salazzle, who was climbing her way up a tree to reach for the berry, ignored him. "I am confident, I am capable and I will _not_ wait for the help of someone on the enemy team; _especially_ if they are some bee thing. Besides, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly-"

" _What_?" Ribombee hissed, narrowing his eyes. "We'll see about that!"

Ribombee lifted himself into the air, his wings buzzing frantically as be shot straight towards the top of the tree, grasping the berry and snickering as he shoved it into his mouth. Once the berry was safely digested within his stomach, he smiled leeringly at Salazzle before immediately becoming calm and composed once again.

" _Ribombee wins a point for the Kyogres!"_

 **0000**

 **Salazzle spat at the camera. "Never let your guard down and** _ **never**_ **reference The Bee Movie."**

 **0000**

Stunfisk and Lucario were yet another team that did not have to tie themselves to each other with a vine, as it was difficult to wrap the vine around Stunfisk's flat body. They walked side by side, Stunfisk basking in the glory of Lucario's flirtatious comments.

"Go on. Compliment me again!"

Lucario's eye twitched. For the past hour, he had been bombarding the model with compliments, but even he was struggling to produce compliments that fit Stunfisk.

"Stunfisk, you are incredibly, absolutely, extremely, supremely and unbelievably-"

"You can't call me beautiful. It's far too cliché."

"Bea-" Lucario stopped himself, and stumbled as his mind began to scramble for a word. "Beastly?"

The Stunfisk stopped her slow-paced squirming, and turned to glare at Lucario, tears brimming in her eyes. "What did you call me, _asshole_?"

But Lucario was too slow to recover, and he stammered. "I-I mean…"

"You _bastard!"_ Stunkfisk shrieked, the tears beginning to pour dramatically from her eyes. "How dare you!" She turned and began running far away from a dumbfounded Lucario, who could only watch with perplexity as the ground-type tore through the forest.

 **0000**

" **I didn't mean to hurt her feelings!" Lucario protested. "I had run out of compliments to give her, so I had to improvise."**

 **0000**

Shaymin's voice, once again, was amplified over the speaker. " _And Stunfisk ran away from her partner, disqualifying her from the competition. That means that Lucario gets a point for the Killer Kyogres, which means that both teams are tied on seven points! Only four more pairs to go!"_

* * *

The contestants that had already eaten the berry or had been beaten by their partner were beginning to thread their way through the forest and back to the main base of the camp site. Espeon, licking her lips to taste some of the remainder of the berry juice that had stained her mouth, trudged through the woods until she passed by Absol and Luxio.

She stopped for a moment, frowning in distaste at the Absol. "Ugh," she murmured to herself. "A dark-type."

Absol hadn't noticed her presence. He was engrossed in his conversation with Luxio, who was discussing his latest gadget.

"This device tells me when someone's birthday is coming up! And, oh! It's beeping really loudly – which means that someone's birthday is coming up very soon," Luxio explained excitedly, gesturing at the frantic buzzing of his machine.

"That would be my birthday," Espeon stated, stepping out from behind a tree. "My birthday is in a few days."

His face brightening, Absol grinned goofily at Espeon. "Well, Happy Early Birthday, Espeon! Did you want a present?"

"Not from a dark-type, no."

As Espeon strode away, Luxio nudged Absol. "Dude, hold up. Let me pull up my girl-translator device!"

"You have a girl-translator?" Absol asked, mystified.

Pulling out a small, metallic device from his bag, Luxio began jotting down a few digits into the machine. "Hm… According to the machine, if a girl tells you not to get her a birthday present, it means that you have to get her a birthday present and make sure it is jewellery."

"Where can I find jewellery?"

Luxio shrugged. "Well, I also have a metal detector. Maybe we can make use that to find something."

"Brilliant idea!" Absol exclaimed. "In fact, Luxio, maybe you can help me change Espeon's perspective on dark-types. She hates them, but together, even though you're an electric type, we can make her like them."

"Sure," Luxio agreed, when suddenly, his machine began to spasm in front of him. Absol reached out to touch it, but yelped when a static shock ran through his fur.

Luxio leaned over to check on the device.

"Sorry dude! My device sensed the Lum berry and got excited," Luxio sheepishly vindicated, pointing at the berry that his machine had detected. "Are you alright?"

The paralysed Absol could only shudder as another burst of electricity ran through him.

"I guess I'll have to eat the berry, then," Luxio sighed, lowering his head so he could bite into the juicy berry.

" _Luxio wins a point for the Kyogres!"_

* * *

Froslass was dragging Musharna by a vine, grumbling about all the effort it was taking her to drag the floating blob around. Finally, after minutes of searching, she found a plump, green berry just on the ground, shining like a beacon against the dirt on the ground.

"The berry!" Froslass murmured excitedly to herself. Musharna was still asleep, so she could just eat that berry and earn the point for her team and-

"Hey… Is that the berry we're supposed to eat?"

Froslass's eyes widened as she abruptly turned to face Musharna. "You've _got_ to be kidding me. You only decide to wake up when I need you to be asleep?"

The psychic type was not listening, though. She had already began drifting towards the berry, her mouth wide open as she hovered towards it. However, just as she reached the berry, her eyes began to flicker shut and drool started to seep from her mouth.

Froslass felt a wave of relief hit her. Musharna had fallen asleep.

Hastily, the ghostlike Pokemon rushed towards the berry and devoured it.

" _Froslass wins a point for the Groudons! Both teams are now tied on eight points!"_

* * *

"Where did you get all those scratches from?" Noctowl asked gently, raising an eyebrow at Meowstic. "It looks like you had a fight with a Ferroseed and all the thorns cut you."

The pair of them were flying through the sky, Noctowl graceful flapping her wings and Meowstic levitating using his psychic abilities. Both of them, gliding in the air gracefully, made small, polite conversation, but kept their eyes on the lookout for the Lum berry.

"You have really good eyes to see past my fur," Meowstic noted, his voice slow and hesitant.

"Thanks. I like to look at things."

Meowstic grinned. "Careful! That's a vague statement. You almost sounded like a pervert there." Before Noctowl could respond, Meowstic had already began speaking. "Hey! There's the berry! Race you there."

Meowstic rushed away, speeding through the air, Noctowl quickly flocking behind him. The feline Pokémon, though, had already reached the berry just as Noctowl began his hasty flight. Meowstic winked at Noctowl playfully as he began to consume the berry.

" _Meowstic wins this round! Another point for the Kyogres!"_

* * *

Being the only remaining pair to not have found a berry, Lurantis and Ludicolo were starting to walk around at a quicker pace, peering through every twig, leaf and tree until they were sure they hadn't found it.

All the remaining campers had followed the pair, curious to see who would win the duel for the berry.

"Well," Shaymin chimed enthusiastically. "Our final pair! That means that if Lurantis wins, the Kyogres win the challenge. If Ludicolo wins, it will be a tie – and we will have a tie-breaker challenge."

The Guzzling Groudons, desperate to not be at loss, began to cheer hopefully to Ludicolo.

"You can do it, Ludicolo!" Skitty chirped.

Ludicolo gave her a weak smile. "No pressure."

Finally, after minutes of trailing through the forest with all competitors close behind them, it was Ludicolo who spotted the lime green berry sticking out from a low branch.

"The berry!" Ludicolo gasped. However, before he reached for it, he froze. "But… Lurantis, I feel like I'd be forsaking our friendship if I selfishly ate the berry."

Lurantis shrugged. "It's fine. You can eat it."

"Sure?"

"Yeah. You've been a great friend, Ludicolo. Do it for your team. That way, if your team wins this part, it will be a tie-breaker and it'll be fairer for the both of us."

The Killer Kyogres all scowled at Lurantis, hissing at him as soon as he finished his sentence.

"But," Lurantis added suddenly. "Shouldn't you consult with your tarot cards before you eat the berry?"

Ludicolo, immediately, dropped the berry onto the ground and reached for his tarot cards. "Brilliant idea, Lurantis! Thank you!"

"No problem," Lurantis muttered, with a smirk.

"Tarot Cards, if I ate this berry, what would be the consequence?"

Ludicolo drew out his card, and his face paled immediately. The card he had retrieved was one of the negative consequence cards, fabricated with the dark shades and aggressive colours. Ludicolo began to panic. "My tarot cards say that if I eat the berry, a bad thing will happen."

Lurantis paced over to where the distressed Ludicolo stood, patting him on the shoulder. "Hey, I know you don't like going against your tarot cards. Would it make you feel better if I ate the berry instead, so you don't disobey your tarot cards?"

"But… Our team will lose…" Ludicolo protested half-heartedly.

"Yes," Lurantis responded practically. "But if you eat the berry, you will ruin your relationship with the wheel of fortune."

" _No Ludicolo_!" Salazzle called out. "Don't listen to him! Tarot cards are dumb! Win it for your team!"

However, Ludicolo was no longer listening to any of his team members. He was entirely focused on his tarot cards and the Lurantis, who stood comfortingly beside him. After a moment of silence, he made his resolution.

"Lurantis, I want you to eat the berry."

"Whatever you say." Without hesitation, Lurantis reached out and snatched the berry from the ground, devouring it within seconds. He then reached out and patted Ludicolo softly. "You made the right decision, friend."

Ludicolo nodded sadly. "I will always obey my tarot cards."

"And Lurantis ate the berry! Which means that the Killer Kyogres win the first challenge!" Shaymin called out to the contestants. "It's time for the Guzzling Groudons to choose someone to eliminate!"

 **0000**

" **A bit of sabotage isn't going to hurt anyone," Lurantis sniggered. "And even if it did, it wouldn't be my problem."**

 **0000**

 **Espeon scrunched up her face in disgust. "There is no dishonour in losing a challenge – but there is definitely dishonour in not even** _ **trying**_ **because you were afraid to disobey a pack of cards. I vote Ludicolo."**

 **0000**

" **You can't let a deck of cards control your life!" Buneary groaned, slamming her head against the table. "I vote Ludicolo."**

 **0000**

 **A grin stretched wide across Golisopod's face. "I'd like to see Salazzle's face now, especially since I won my part of the challenge, but she lost her part of the challenge. And she lost against the** _ **Ribombee**_ **, too!"**

 **0000**

" **What the** _ **hell**_ **, Ludicolo? Even the** _ **Ghastly**_ **managed to win his part!" Incineroar exclaimed, his eye twitching with confusion.**

 **0000**

 **Haxorus shuddered. "I'm not sure if I can trust anyone who worships Magikarp anymore. So even though he seems nice, I'm going to have to vote for Lycanroc."**

 **0000**

" **If only that stupid Lucario was on our team so I could vote his sorry ass out of here," Stunfisk hissed. "Who the hell was he calling** _ **beastly**_ **?"**

 **0000**

" **I don't like dark-types and fire-types," Ghastly explained. "And Incineroar is both. I vote for him."**

 **0000**

" **Should I vote for Espeon?" Ludicolo asked his tarot cards, only to be responded with another negative result. "What about Stunfisk?" Yet again, the card he produced was negative.**

 **Ludicolo threw his cards onto the table. "Why are they only giving me negative results?"**

 **Suddenly, his eyes widened. "Wait, why do I only have twenty-six cards and not fifty-two? Someone has stolen my cards!" After a thorough examination of his cards, Ludicolo hissed once again.**

" **And the thief stole all my positive cards!"**

 **0000**

The Guzzling Groudons sat around the campfire, some of them huddling closely together in fear and others leaning back arrogantly.

"So," Shaymin began, her features alight with energy. "You guys are the first team to lose, suckers!"

"Could you _please_ be a bit more professional?" Bellossom asked exasperatedly, but Shaymin was already babbling away.

"All of you have voted for which teammate you think should be leaving tonight, and the Pokémon with the most votes will be going home tonight. Each person who is safe will receive a Gracidea flower. If you don't receive one, how sad, too bad, pack your bags and enjoy being a rag!"

Though everyone cringed at the miserable rhyming scheme, no one dared to interrupt the host.

"Okay, the following people did not receive _any_ votes, so they are safe: Charizard, Haxorus, Ghastly, and Vespiquen." As Shaymin called out each name, Bellossom tossed a Gracidea flower towards them.

"Skitty, Espeon, Shroomish and Absol; you guys didn't receive any votes either. Congrats! Please stand to the side when your name is called."

All of them, as they headed over to where all the safe contestants stood, released a sigh of relief, apart from Espeon, who simply rolled her eyes.

"The last ones to note have received any votes against them are: Stunfisk, Krokorok, Froslass, Noctowl and Buneary. Take your Gracidea flower and relax," Shaymin said playfully, before turning to the remaining contestants.

"Lycanroc, Golisopod andIncineroar; all three of you only received one vote each, so you three are safe for the week."

As Bellossom tossed the flowers at them, they began to rise from the campfire, moving towards the side. Golisopod winked menacingly at Salazzle, while Lycanroc shrieked something about meat bicycles.

Shaymin raised her eyebrows at Salazzle and Ludicolo, the two remaining contestants.

"Salazzle, you were having lots of bark last episode, but we didn't see any bite this episode. For one, you quoted the Bee Movie, and easily got beaten by one of the more timid competitors. A little pathetic, really," Shaymin pointed out.

Salazzle glanced down at her feet, scowling as she heard Golisopod snicker.

"As for _you_ , Ludicolo, you were too busy letting your life be controlled by a set of cards. You literally had sacrificed the potential win of your team just so that your set of cards wouldn't hate you."

"But they were sabotaged-" Ludicolo began to protest.

"I don't care," Shaymin responded, her voice hard. "And seeing that you got _thirteen_ votes while Salazzle only received two, it seems that the rest of your team doesn't care either."

Tossing a Gracidea flower towards Salazzle, Shaymin waved satirically at the Ludicolo. "It's bye-bye to you, Pineapple Duck!"

 **0000**

 **Ludicolo sighed. "I guess someone has to leave first, though I regret that it has to be me; especially now that my tarot cards are seemingly out of whack after someone** _ **stole**_ **my cards." After a momentary pause, a bright smile embellished Ludicolo's features.**

" **Anyways, I hope Lurantis wins! He has been my only friend here."**

 **0000**

Ludicolo, just as he was about to hop onto his boat to go back to his home, was halted when he heard a voice call out his name. Turning around, his eyebrows lowered in confusion, turned to see that Lurantis had made his way towards the dock.

Ludicolo gasped at the sight of his friend. "Why, Lurantis! What are you doing here?"

"I came to grant a pleasant farewell to my closest friend here," Lurantis replied sweetly, his own smile widening as he saw Ludicolo begin to tear up.

"You've been a phenomenal friend, Lurantis. Your friendship has made being eliminated first worth it." Suddenly, Ludicolo frowned. "Though, I found out what was wrong with my tarot cards. Someone stole all the positive cards, so I was only left with negative tarot card responses."

Lurantis's smile only seemed to widen. He reached out behind him, to pull a few rectangular slices of paper into his hand. "You mean _these_?" In a single, fluid motion, Lurantis revealed the pieces of paper to Ludicolo.

As Ludicolo's eyes gazed at the bright, neon colours of the positive tarot cards that lay in Lurantis's hands, his jaw dropped. "My tarot cards! How did you find them?"

"I didn't find them."

"Lurantis," Ludicolo whispered, his voice shaking with despair. "Did _you_ steal my cards from me?"

The grass-type shrugged. "I wouldn't call it stealing. I just happened to return them at an inconvenient time."

"How could you?" Ludicolo gaped. "I thought we were-"

"Friends?" Lurantis snickered. "Well, it's not my problem that you made false assumptions, is it? You were never my friend, _Pineapple Duck_ , but merely a pawn."

Ludicolo scowled, snatching his tarot cards away from Lurantis. "No one else will fall for your antics. I may have been your first target, but I'll certainly be your last."

"Sure about that? Because I've already found my next target."

"Who?"

"Why don't you ask your beloved tarot cards?" After another snigger, Lurantis turned to walk away. Just as his silhouette faded into the horizon, Ludicolo called out after him.

"Hey, Lurantis! I want you to remember something."

Lurantis stopped in his tracks, but did not turn around to face the Ludicolo. "What is it?"

"In the end, the wheel of fortune crushes us all."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Tomato Soup: Ayyy, this one was done a lot quicker! I don't know how we did it. XD I guess now that we're beginning to get used to the characters, it is easier to scrap things up. First up, I'm sorry for accidentally calling Salazzle a dark-type in the last chapter. XD I was having a stupid moment. My bad! So yeah, we meet our antagonist properly - Lurantis! Now isn't he a little bastard? XD But I want to hear what you guys think! I really love it when people share which characters they love or hate and why - and predictions are amazing! So please, make predictions!**

 **Milk Carton: hoi :3 This chapter was out really fast to be honest, hope you guys all liked it! Who are your favourites and least favourites? Who do you think will win? Who do you think will lose? Who do you think will get together (wink wonk)? Let us know in the reviews!**

 **Okay, so I (Tomato Soup/maycontestdrew), like to do this thing where I do a little blurb on the character who has just been eliminated. So, Ludicolo it is!**

 **36th Place: Ludicolo**

 **Ludicolo was the only character that I (maycontestdrew) made completely and submitted for this story. He was supposed to just be an average character whose only purpose was to be the victim of Lurantis' schemes, so that we could introduce the antagonist with a bit of drama. He wasn't supposed to be liked so much, but to my surprise, lots of you guys really liked him! I was very surprised, to say the least. But it was a nice surprise. The tarot cards were really fun to add, just because they are so damn random. Alas, someone had to be eliminated first and Milk Carton and I had decided that we didn't want anyone who submitted an OC to have their character eliminated first, because that's harsh. So I made Ludicolo for the sheer purpose of being eliminated first. XD Yes, I am cruel. But he was a nice, jolly fellow who made friends with the wrong person and placed too much faith in a deck of cards.**

 **Anyways, those are my thoughts on Ludicolo! I want to hear YOURS in a review! And I want to hear your thoughts on ALL the characters. And predictions are fun. Those who predict the next elimination first wins a cookie. :D**


	6. Chapter 6: The Price of Choice

**Chapter III: The Price of Choice**

Charizard sighed as he sat on the thick, lush grass, basking in the fierce sunlight. It had been a few days since the last elimination, yet he could not take his mind off Ludicolo's anguished face when his elimination was announced. Ludicolo had, most certainly, been sabotaged. The question was: who was the crook behind the tarot card master's elimination?

Many of the other contestants bounced suggestions to each other; some Pokémon suspected Buneary or Salazzle, two girls who did not bother concealing their desperation to win. One particularly observant Pokémon had even suggested Krokorok and his rowdy tail.

One Pokémon that no one dared to accuse was Lurantis.

The grass-type secluded himself, seemingly downcast ever since his friend had left. Or, at least, that's what most Pokémon thought.

Not Charizard, though.

The draconic Pokémon was almost entirely convinced that Lurantis was the puppet master who catalysed the elimination of Ludicolo. It made sense; Lurantis was the only Pokémon close enough to Ludicolo to be able to grasp onto those tarot cards. Besides, Charizard had watched analytically when Lurantis had greedily bitten into the juicy Lum berry, and watched the way his eyes seem to flash wickedly. It had to be Lurantis. Charizard was certain that the Bloom Sickle Pokémon was more cunning than he let on.

"What are you thinking about, Charizard?"

Charizard cursed silently, clenching his jaw as he turned to face the newcomer. To his dismay, the Pokémon that had approached him was none other than Lurantis.

"What do you want?" Charizard asked curtly, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

Lurantis shrugged. "I thought I might enjoy the sunrise."

The fire-type only rolled his eyes in response, his muscles tightening with tension. On the other hand, Lurantis seemed much more at ease, fluidly propping himself onto the ground as he watched the sunrise.

"So… You and Garchomp knew each other prior to the show?"

As soon as the Lurantis had asked the question, Charizard felt mental sirens blaring through his mind. "No," he answered immediately, his face devoid of any emotion.

"Oh?" Lurantis prodded, his lip curling into a loose grin at Charizard's snappy behaviour. "Well, never mind then. Garchomp told me to tell you something on her behalf, but if you two don't know each other as well as she thought, then I guess-"

Charizard snorted before Lurantis could even finish. "You're lying."

"Hm?"

"I've known Garchomp for a long time now, and I _know_ that Garchomp would never trust some stranger who she has met for a few days."

The grin stretched onto Lurantis' face only broadened. "But I thought you said that you didn't know Garchomp prior to the show."

Charizard's jaw dropped, gobsmacked. Despite being intelligence, his protective love for Garchomp always interfered with his usually cautious demeanour. "What do you want, Lurantis?"

"Nothing," Lurantis assured him. "I just wanted to know why you and Garchomp joined the show together."

"It was Garchomp's idea. She wanted money, so we could live in better conditions than we can currently provide ourselves with."

"And your parents?"

"They're dead."

An awkward silence ensued, and Lurantis leaned back thoughtfully. "You know, I heard you and Garchomp talking yesterday. You let Garchomp eat the berry. How would your team feel, knowing that you had forsaken their win because you purposely let Garchomp win?"

"What are you saying?" Charizard hissed, his fists clenched tightly beside him.

"Let's have a deal," Lurantis drawled. "I'll keep you and Garchomp's little secret, but you have to work for it. From now and on, you stay away from Garchomp."

"And why would I listen to you?"

Lurantis snickered. "Because if you don't, I'll happily tell everyone about how you betrayed your team for her. Both of you will be eliminated in a flash, and I'd like to see both of you try to win the money then. No one likes traitors."

"Aren't you the one who betrayed Ludicolo?"

"But was Ludicolo on my team?" Lurantis shot back.

"But wasn't he your best friend?"

Lurantis only winked slyly. "If he was my best friend, I wouldn't have eliminated him."

Charizard scowled.

"Listen, Charizard," Lurantis droned. "What I'm asking of you is simple. Stay away from Garchomp, and there will be no reason for either of you to be eliminated. Do we have a deal?"

After a moment of deafening silence, Charizard finally sighed.

"Deal."

 **0000**

" **I'd be an idiot to listen to Lurantis," Charizard confessed. "But if I think things through practically, it would be wise to avoid Garchomp. We have to avoid each other anyways, for the sake of our teams, and I would rather do it while staying on Lurantis's good side."**

 **He then frowned. "The only thing will be trying to find time to explain that to Garchomp. I have to warn her, somehow, about Lurantis."**

 **0000**

"Rise and shine campers! Get your asses out of bed, and come to the dining hall instead!"

Upon hearing Shaymin's exuberant voice, the contestants began to heave themselves out of bed, some groaning while others skipped in delight.

"Did everyone get a good sleep?" Skitty asked, a springy bounce to every step she took. The two Pokémon nearest to her, Espeon and Incineroar, simultaneously groaned.

"My room is directly beside Porygon-Z's room," Incineroar explained with a frown.

Espeon arched her eyebrow. "So?"

"He sleep-talks. Well, more like sleep-shrieks. I can't get any sleep with his constant screaming."

"I heard that, actually," Noctowl chimed in, swooping down so she could join the rest of her team members. "The poor thing was having a nightmare; something about a laboratory in Goldenrod City. I think he was tortured there. Poor thing."

Skitty muttered sympathetically, exchanging a pitiful glance with Noctowl, and the two began to speak about how unfortunate it was. Espeon only rolled her eyes.

 **0000**

" **I don't know why Noctowl and Skitty even bother caring about people on the other team," Espeon snarled. "It is much more beneficial for our team if we start keeping track of the Kyogre's weaknesses, rather than sympathising with them."**

 **0000**

Buneary spat at the plate in front of her. "I swear to Arceus, Shaymin is trying to make us vegan or something."

"Is there really such thing as a vegan in the Pokémon world?" Meowstic asked playfully, before adding, "After all, we're in a Pokémon fanfic."

"It doesn't matter. How can I train to my fullest potential without some carbohydrates?"

Haxorus nodded, stabbing a berry on her plate with a fork. "Buneary has a point. There's no bread or sugary foods at all. Only… berries."

Stunfisk was seemingly the only Pokémon who was enjoying the bland berries that were dished out to her. "Nothing will benefit my health and already astounding beauty than a nice, healthy diet of only berries!" she explained merrily to Froslass, before burrowing her face into the berries.

 **0000**

 **Froslass raised her eyebrows. "And** _ **this**_ **is why we're called the Guzzling Groudons."**

 **0000**

"Good morning, campers!" Shaymin sang as she burst into the dining hall. "How are we all this morning?"

"Very well, thank you-" Primarina began, but was instantly interrupted by the host herself.

"Doesn't matter! It's time for our next challenge." Just as she finished speaking, Bellossom strolled behind her, clutching at her stomach to catch her breath.

"Shaymin," Bellososm gasped. "You really need to slow-"

Shaymin's eyes widened suddenly. "Bellossom! Thank you for reminding me. So, apparently, I've been receiving lots of complaints about my 'unpleasant' treatment of my staff, in particular, my co-assistant. I've been thinking lots about it overnight, and I've realised that, indeed, I've been rather cruel to my amazing co-host. So this challenge will be entirely centered around her."

All the contestants raised their eyebrows skeptically, while Bellossom seemed flustered beyond words. "Why, that means a lot to me, ma'am-"

"So, without further ado, I would like everyone to meet my fabulous co-host: Victreebel!"

Bellosom slumped against the wall, her features dimmed, while the other contestants darted eager glances towards the door. After a moment, Zoroark spoke up.

"So, where exactly is Victreebel?"

"Patience," Shaymin retorted. "I was getting to that. So, Victreebel is a little shy, so she has locked herself up in her house. For today's challenge, you all have to go inside her house and try not to piss her off. If you piss her off, she will eat you and spit you out of her house. Whoever manages to stay in the house longest wins for their team!"

 **0000**

 **Absol grinned at the camera. "Our team has got this in the bag. We have Skitty on our team, and she's super nice. She could never piss anyone off."**

 **0000**

" **Ugh," Espeon scowled. "We have Skitty on our team, and if she pisses off Victreebel as easily as she pisses me off, our team is screwed."**

 **0000**

"Sounds easy enough,"Salazzle shrugged. "Just don't piss Victreebel off."

Golisopod barked a laugh. "Fighting words coming from the most irritable Pokémon here."

"Oh, you are _totally_ asking for it!" Salazzle hissed, raising herself from her table, her fist clenched beside her.

"Will you two just shut up?" Garchomp growled at both of them.

Lurantis smiled softly at the dragon-type. " _Amen_." His supportive comment made Garchomp's face scrunch up with surprise, before nodding an acknowledgement. Charizard, seeing the brief interaction between the two, cleared his throat.

"Anyways," he said formally. "Exactly what sort of things piss Victreebel off?"

Shaymin grinned, before pulling out a long slip of paper into her hand. "Excellent question! I actually asked her to write me a list of what grinds her gears. Let's see… Loud noises, happy Pokémon, sad Pokémon, Pokémon in general, the smell of food, and Pokémon coming into her territory."

"B-but…" Gastly began. "Isn't the entire purpose of the challenge to stay in her territory as long as p-possible?"

"Yep! So basically, go in her house but stay as far away from her as possible. I'll give you guys five minutes to group up with your team and decide a strategy, but otherwise, good luck!"

 **0000**

 **Zoroark stretched her limbs. "So, Victreebel is a grouch who doesn't like any Pokémon. She already sounds exactly like Espeon."**

 **0000**

"Okay,"Salazzle began. "I think that we should-"

Buneary crossed her arms. "Whoa, whoa, _whoa_. Why would we listen to what you think?"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"You lost against a Ribombee in the last challenge!"

"To be fair," Vespiquen interrupted. "You lost against Zoroark, Buneary. And even Charizard lost to Garchomp, and Lyrancroc to, well, Magikarp. We must put the past challenge behind us and move forward, and focus on our strengths rather than our mistakes."

Froslass nodded. "I agree. Also, I think that we should split up for the challenge; if we go around in big groups, we're bound to create more noise and attract Victreebel's attention."

"That being said," Shroomish added, looking up awkwardly to face all the bigger Pokémon. "I think we should go in small groups or pairs, so that if one of us gets eaten by Victreebel, the other can go and warn everyone else."

Golisopod and Incineroar snickered arrogantly at the small mushroom, but didn't speak up. Vespiquen glanced around her, before serenely asking, "Does anyone have any objections?"

The only Pokémon that seemed to be uneasy was Lycanroc, whose foot was spastically thumping the ground.

"Lycanroc?" Absol asked, gently nudging the Wolf Pokémon.

"I AM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE MEAT TRAIN!" Lycanroc burst out, quivering uncontrollably. Haxorus backed away slightly, and Espeon groaned.

"Okay," Espeon sighed. "Everyone get into small groups except for Lyrcanroc. Everyone stay the _fuck_ away from him."

 **0000**

" **I understand that Lycanroc is loud, which is bad for this challenge since he is bound to be eaten by Victreebel straight away," Absol noted, biting his lip. "But still, that was kind of mean of Espeon."**

 **0000**

"How about we all run at Victreebel and just knock her unconscious? I have more than enough strength to do that on my own!" Tor declared, attempting to puff out his chest, which was proving to be difficult with his two egg brothers sharing his body with him.

Garchomp huffed. "No, that's stupid. It will ruin the purpose of the challenge, and it means that more of us will be knocked out, which will give the other team an advantage."

"Good thinking," Lurantis praised, smiling at Garchomp. "She's completely right. Let's be subtle."

"N-not to be rude, but it'll be a bit difficult to be subtle w-with Porygon-Z," Ribombee pointed out, gesturing timidly towards the Porygon-Z, who was shrieking unintelligible sounds as he darted around the room.

Magikarp sighed loudly. "Let me handle this."

Garchomp choked on her laughter, but everyone else watched the Magikarp in anticipation.

"Porygon-Z," the fish preached, flopping about. "I need you to listen to me."

Immediately, the Pokémon stopped his frantic movements and eyed the Magikarp curiously. "Yes, my Lord?"

"Thou shalt stand by my side at all times, and thou shalt not utter a word until Lord Magikarp grants you permission."

As soon as Magikarp finished speaking, Porygon-Z began to nod his head enthusiastically, lowering himself onto the ground. To everyone's astonishment, the normal-type did not dare to utter a sound.

"Well," Zoroark finally said. "Let's group up then, shall we?"

 **0000**

 **Lurantis arched his brow. "Our unanimous leader is a Magikarp. How pathetic."**

 **0000**

" **I need to learn Magikarp's secret!" Lucario exclaimed. "And I need to know whether it works on hot chicks too."**

 **0000**

The contestants, with Shaymin soaring far ahead of them, followed their host to a large mansion, surrounded by wild plants that splintered with thorns.

"It's _huge_ ," Pumpkaboo gasped. "Why, this sort of mansion is one that a queen, like me, should be living in!"

"And a queen is living in it, indeed," Shaymin said, twisting open the door handle. "Now, as soon as I say go, all of you must get in there and try your best to stay in there. Ready?"

"Needa _pee_ ," Dragonite suddenly whimpered, balancing awkwardly on one foot.

"... Okay. Doesn't matter. Your time starts now!"

With that, Shaymin slammed open the door and all the contestants rushed on in. As soon as their silhouettes were concealed by the darkness within the mansion, Shaymin let the door shut and laughed wickedly.

"Those guys have _no idea_ what they're up against."

* * *

"Victreebel! Where are you? Let's see how tough you _really_ are!"

"Tor, _be quiet_."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"T-Tor? Ex? I think y-you guys should keep it down more…"

"Stop being a coward, Egg!"

Zoroark tugged at her fur, before glaring daggers at the three Egg brothers. "Will you three honestly just _shut up_? The only reason I've been put with you guys is to keep you quiet. Look how well Pancham and Mimikyu are behaving!"

As she said it, she heard Mimikyu yelp. When she turned around, she found that Mimikyu had fainted on the ground.

"What happened?" Zoroark.

Pancham shook his head slowly. "She said she heard Jigglypuff and promptly fainted."

"Swell," the dark-type grumbled in response, before turning to the Egg brothers. "Okay, what was our deal? If we see Victreebell, we will…"

"Fight!"

"Um… Flee?"

"F-f-faint!"

Zoroark groaned once again. "You guys suck at this. Which one of you three controls the legs?"

Before either of them could answer, a raspy voice began to echo through the corridor in which they were bickering in.

' _If you tell them I'm not in the closet… If you say I'm not under the bed… If you tell them I'm not in the shadows… You'll eventually help me get fed…."_

"W-what was that?" Egg asked, edging closer to Zoroark. The thin voice that had resonated the room had sent chills through her spine; it's voice like iron nails dragged against rocks.

Suddenly, a large Pokémon loomed over them, its fangs flashing hungrily.

"It's Victreebel!" Pancham gasped. The Egg brothers all began shrieking at each other.

"Let's fight it!"

"Let's run!"

"H-hello darkness m-my old friend?"

" _Run!_ " Zoroark interrupted, grabbing the brothers by their leaves before sprinting away, ignoring their helpless protests as she pulled them behind her. Pancham was not too far away, and despite his short legs, he was doing well to keep up with the fox.

After a while, they came to a halt, leaning against the furniture for support.

"I think we lost her," Pancham murmured, frantically gasping for air. Zoroark nodded thoughtfully, and grit her teeth as she heard the egg brothers begin their quarrelling.

"You should have let me fight it!"

"Come on, Tor. We decided as a team that we would run. What do you say, Egg?"

"..."

"Oh, that's right. You're unconscious."

Zoroark hissed at them. "You guys need to be quiet! Otherwise she will become back for us."

After a moment of blissful silence, Zoroark slapped her paw against her head.

" _Shit_! We forgot Mimikyu!"

* * *

" _Underneath the roof-tops…. In the middle of the night… A Victreebel makes his silent stop… A strange and fearful sight…"_

Mimikyu awoke to the scratchy voice, glancing around. "G-guys? Zoroark? P-Pancham? Ex, Egg, T-tor?"

She turned around, and squealed.

"V-V-Victree-"

She didn't get to finish, for the grass-type had already swallowed her whole. Within seconds, Victreebel spat out the Mimikyu, and the Pokémon, smothered with saliva, was hurled out the window.

 **0000**

 **Mimikyu was shaking uncontrollably in the beanbag. "H-her poem didn't e-even have an equal number of syllables per line!"**

 **0000**

"Charizard!"

Upon hearing the hasty whisper, Charizard whipped his head around, his heart fluttering as he saw Garchomp approach him. "What's up, babe?"

Garchomp giggled. "Do you think we can get away being a pair for this challenge?"

Instantly, the easy grin dropped from Charizard's face. He gnashed his teeth, his eyes darting around the room. He had to warn her about Lurantis, about the deal he had made that morning-

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a pair of light red eyes glowering at him.

Lurantis.

The grass-type was grinning slyly at Charizard, mouthing something that looked a lot like, _'Your choice'._

Charizard clamped his mouth shut and shook his head at Garchomp, who was oblivious to the grass-type behind her.

"No," Charizard quickly stated, turning away.

Garchomp, taken aback, took a step towards him. "Pardon me?"

"I said _no_. We're on opposing teams, and the sooner you understand that, the better."

Without warning, Charizard stormed away, into another room, leaving a perplexed Garchomp staring as he slammed the door shut.

* * *

"We have to go back."

"We are _not_ going back."

Pancham and Zoroark stared defiantly at each other, both with crossed arms and arched eyebrows.

"We can't just abandon Mimikyu," Pancham protested. "We have to go back for her!"

Zoroark sighed softly. "I can understand that, but you have to remember that Victreebel has probably already eaten Mimikyu by now."

"I don't care. We have to save Mimikyu - no member of the tribe ever gets left behind." His fists clenched stubbornly at his side, Pancham began to march the direction they had come from, and Tor grinned sadistically.

"About time one of you grew some balls!"

Ex clucked his tongue. " _Tor_."

Nevertheless, the Egg Brothers followed Pancham, and Zoroark rubbed her face with her paws. "I can't believe how stupid they are."

Within minutes, Pancham was already sprinting straight towards her, his eyes wide with terror. Zoroark snorted.

"Let me guess; Victreebel was still there."

Pancham nodded.

"And she has eaten Mimikyu."

Once again, the small panda nodded.

"What about Ex, Egg and Tor?"

"Tor wanted to fight the Victreebel, and walked straight into it's mouth," Pancham explained between breaths.

"So both Exeggutor and Mimikyu are out?"

"It seems so."

"And you're going to listen to me from now and on?"

"..."

 **0000**

 **Zoroark rolled her eyes. "Boys. So immature."**

 **0000**

"Boys," Stunfisk was ranting. "They're just so immature!"

"What happened?" Skitty asked, as her, Stunfisk and Haxorus walked through the hallway.

Stunfisk snickered. "I was talking to Lucario yesterday, and he was acting all gentlemanly, and then you know what happened? He called me _beastly_!"

Haxorus gasped. "Oh hell no."

"He did! Ugh. Boys are so horrible these days."

"You said it, girlfriend," Haxorus agreed. "That's why I prefer roller-skating. My wheels skating against the ground is smoother than any man can ever be."

"Speaking of smooth, did I mention that he called me _beastly_?"

Skitty interrupted politely. "Um, yeah, but maybe you should give him a second chance. He seems really nice!"

"Not a chance in hell," Stunfisk hissed. "All men are disgusting."

Incineroar, who was only a few metres away, was beginning to hear the girls and their rather interesting conversation. Though nonchalant about their opinions on men, he did realise, with slight frustration, that the three girls were on his team and were making far too much noise.

Striding into the room they were in, he spoke, "Could you three keep it down? The Victreebel might hear you."

"See?" Stunfisk suddenly growled. "Men _are_ bastards! He won't even let me speak me free will!"

"It's not that," Incineroar scowled, attempting to keep his voice low. "It's just that-"

"WHERE ARE THE MEAT BICYCLES?"

The loud outburst came from Lycanroc, who had burst into the room hysterically, leaping from wall to wall. Incineroar's already tight patience snapped.

"Lycanroc!" Incineroar growled. "Shut _up_! Can you shut your trap for just a few seconds? If you keep this up-"

" _Near the wall in your corner…"_

"-our team is going to be out of this challenge within moments-"

" _Something big and green climbed down…"_

"-just because you won't stop going on and on-"

" _It's looking at your bedroom…"_

about those stupid, non-existent meat bicycles!"

" _And now it's opening it's mouth!"_

Incineroar's eyes widened as he realised that a voice had been speaking alongside his, a wretched voice that seemed to pinch his ears.

" _Run!_ " Skitty had screeched, with Stunfisk and Haxorus sprinting behind her. Before Incineroar could protest, he felt a piercing pain shoot up his back as he was dragged backwards, straight into the mouth of Victreebel.

Despite his relentless struggle, the vines clutching onto him restrained every movement he could muster, and he felt his body slowly becoming consumed by the warm, putrid mouth of the grass-type Pokémon.

However, just before he was swallowed whole, he saw Lycanroc watching with fascination to the side.

"Oh, no you don't!" Incineroar roared at him. "If I'm going down, you're going down with me; because you're going to be the reason our team loses!"

With that, Incineroar lunged forwards and grasped tightly onto Lycanroc's fur, dragging the Wolf Pokémon down with him into the throat of Victreebel.

 **0000**

" **You know," Skitty offered. "That was actually really smart of Incineroar. He knew that Lycanroc was not the best at this challenge, and decided to help the team out by keeping Lycanroc quiet. Good on him!"**

 **0000**

"T-thanks for being my partner, Jigglypuff," Ribombee stammered. "I don't know why you're willing to help someone like m-me."

Jigglypuff waved away his thanks. "Don't worry about it! What are friends for?"

"Er… From certain books I've read, friends are for backstabbing, manipulating, torture-"

"Alright, alright," Jigglypuff quickly cut him off. "Not our friendship, no. Besides, why wouldn't anyone want to be friends with someone as adorable as you?"

Ribombee looked down at his feet. "Well, I'm always really unlucky."

"Oh, come on. You can't be _that_ bad."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Ribombee said, reaching out to open the next door. Just as he slid the door open, he found himself staring face to face with Victreebel.

" _You thought I couldn't find you… You thought you were safe and sound..._ "

Ribombee froze in his spot. "Oh, _shit_."

Jigglypuff could only watch in wide-eyed horror as her friend disappeared behind the jaws of the Victreebel.

"You really _are_ unlucky."

Without warning, the Victreebel lurched forward and opened its jaws to grab her.

" _You thought that you could hide… But alas, you have been found!"_

 **0000**

" **Personally," Shaymin began, nodding thoughtfully. "I think that Victreebel's love for poetry just brings a lot more to this show."**

 **0000**

"Hey, Espeon," Absol called out after the psychic Pokémon. "Wanna be partners?"

Espeon scowled at him, instantly speeding up her pace. "I have better things to do."

Dumbfounded, the dark-type watched as she strutted down the corridor."But…. I thought…"

"You okay?" a voice called out behind him.

Turning around, Absol was relieved to find that it was only Charizard. "Hey, there buddy. I was just having…. Um… Girl issues." He laughed nervously. "That sounds stupid, I know, it's just that-"

"Oh, trust me," Charizard said with an almost empathetic smile. "I know."

"Wanna be partners?"

"Sure."

* * *

"So, Banette," Lucario started with a seductive wink. "Your place tonight, or mine?"

Meowstic rolled his eyes, and responded on behalf of Banette. "Both. You go to your place, Banette will go to hers."

At that, Banette giggled shyly, her cheeks turning a light shade of red as the Meowstic winked at her.

 **0000**

 **Lucario slammed his hands against the table. "Why is everyone** _ **except for me**_ **good at getting all the girls?"**

 **0000**

Just as Lucario was about to weave another pick-up line together, a voice interrupted him.

" _But now it's almost here… You know it loves the dark of night…"_

The lights shattered, and Banette shrieked loudly. Feeling his way for the exit, Meowstic could hear Banette crying for help, with Lucario bravely declaring that he would rescue her. However, within seconds, both voices had come to a halt.

Suddenly, the lights switched back on again, and Meowstic found himself alone in the room, with not a single other Pokémon in sight.

* * *

"Hey, Luxio! Can I speak to you for one second?"

Luxio stopped in his tracks, slightly surprised to see Krokorok approaching him. "Hey, dude. What's up?"

"Well," Krokorok said, biting his lip. "I know we're on opposing teams and all, but I was wondering if you could, I dunno, do me a favour."

"Favour?"

"I need you to invent something for me."

Upon hearing the word 'invent', Luxio's face brightened. "Oh, of course! What do you need?"

"I'm not sure if you've noticed, but my tail has a few… issues. It kind of has a mind of it's own. I was wondering if you could help me control it. It's not cool, you know. People always made fun of me, and everyone saw me as some sort of monstrous thief, when really, my tail was stealings things on its own. I… I don't want to be seen as a criminal anymore."

Luxio sympathetically pouted his lips. "Don't worry, dude. I'll help you. But try not to tell my team members, okay? They might not appreciate me helping out an enemy."

"Of course," Krokorok confirmed, nodding enthusiastically. "In fact, if you need anything, I can always try my best to help-"

" _There's only one thing to do…. Don't bother to fight!"_

Victreebel had burst into the room, her eyes glowering with menace.

"That's it! I need some saliva from Victreebel!" Lucio suddenly exclaimed.

Krokorok shot the electric-type an incredulous look. "Wait, what?" But before he could protest, Luxio had already leaped straight into the Victreebel's mouth. With a sigh of surrender, Krokorok murmured, "Well… I do owe him one."

With that, he jumped straight into the mouth of the Victreebel.

 **0000**

 **Meowstic, covered with slobber, blinked at the camera. "I literally went to use the bathroom, and bam! Victreebel was right on me as soon as I flushed the toilet.** _ **Rude.**_ **"**

 **After a moment of combing through his fur, eyed the camera.**

" **Wait, that's right; characters never use toilets in novels or fanfics. My bad."**

 **0000**

" _Did you ever think as a hearse goes by…. That you might be the next to die?"_

"I hear it," Salazzle said, crouching low. "I hear Victreebel."

Buneary cracked her knuckles. "I'm ready for it."

"You're not _seriously_ planning on fighting it, are you? You're tiny!"

"Don't underestimate tiny Pokémon! After all, didn't Ribombee beat your ass?"

Salazzle gave an exasperated sigh, before plucking the Buneary from the ground. "Will you just give that a rest already? At this rate, I think I might just throw you into Victreebel's mouth."

"I'd like to see you try!"

" _They wrap you up in a big white sheet… From your head down to your feet…"_

Victreebel tugged open the door, and without hesitation, Salazzle flung Buneary towards Victreebel. Buneary grunted as she landed on the grass-type's tongue, scowling as the mouth slammed shut, trapping her inside.

"I'll get you for this, Salazzle!" she cried from within the mouth.

Salazzle rolled her eyes, before sauntering away.

 **0000**

" **Honestly, I know it wasn't good for the team spirit, but I was just so sick of her," Salazzle explained. "I don't like it when people acknowledge that a freaking** _ **bee**_ **beat me because I referenced the Bee Movie."**

 **0000**

Just as Salazzle began to head out of the room, Haxorus, Stunfisk and Skitty all ran straight past her.

"Wait," Salazzle called out. "Don't go in there-"

It was too late, though. She heard the three of them release an agonisingly loud shriek, and Victreebel laugh wickedly.

" _And the worms crawl in and the worms crawl out...In your stomach and out your snout…"_

* * *

Espeon frowned as she stalked her opponents, her feet lightly padding against the floor as she threaded her way through the building. For the past hour or so, she had been following quite possibly the biggest group in the house, comprised of Dragonite, Magikarp, Porygon-Z, Pumpkaboo, Musharna and Primarina. Despite the number of people in the group, not once had they managed to encounter Victreebel; and to Espeon's surprise, they were a lot more subtle than she had expected.

Dragonite, Porygon-Z and Pumpkaboo were too busy fawning over the Magikarp to bother uttering a sound, while Musharna was fast asleep. Primarina, the patient lady of the ocean, was just as quiet, keeping the group together and making sure that Musharna didn't fall too behind. If they continued to go at this pace, they were certain to win.

Shaking her head, Espeon scowled. She could not let the Killer Kyogres win. Suddenly, she heard one of the Pokémon speak up.

"Needa _pee,_ Lord Magikarp."

Magikarp sighed heavily. "Dragonite, we discussed this before. No splitting from the team."

"But-"

"Protest again, and I will declare you an enemy of Lord Magikarp."

Though its voice was not harsh in any form, Dragonite seemed genuinely hurt, his eyes beginning to brim with hot tears. "But _Lord Magikarp_ …"

"No buts."

Without warning, Dragonite snuffled loudly, and began to bawl. Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands, he ran away from the group, his face buried in his hands. Espeon's eye twitched.

 **0000**

" **I am surrounded by idiots," Espeon remarked. "Though, it's not a problem for me if their team falls apart."**

 **0000**

"M-mummy! I want m-my mummy!"

"And I want you to shut up," Golisopod snarked at the Gastly, who was screaming for his parental units. "But it turns out, we don't all get what we want."

Noctowl was a lot more supportive. "Don't worry, Gastly. Just be a bit quieter, and we'll be out of here in no time."

"T-thanks, Nocto- WHAT IS THAT?"

Golisopod and Noctowl snapped their attention to where Gastly was screeching, and they saw a large, orange creature rushing straight towards them. It was Golisopod who first recognised the Pokémon.

"... Dragonite?"

"Pod-Pod!" Dragonite shrieked in response, his cheeks streaked with tears. "Pod-Pod! I missed you!"

Golisopod tensed as the dragon-type embraced him, unsure of how to respond. Noctowl cooed sweetly, "Aww, Golisopod, you've made a friend!"

"Pod-Pod, Magikarp was being _mean_ to me," Dragonite whimpered. "Can I come with you?"

Patting his back awkwardly, Golisopod finally huffed, "Whatever. Just don't get in my way."

Gastly interrupted them with a shriek. "GUYS! Do you hear that?!"

The four of them strained their ears, until a raspy voice tickled their ears.

" _And your eyes fall out and your teeth decay…"_

The lights flicked off, and the four of them found themselves surrounded by darkness. Gastly, after a prompt scream, felt a warm, putrid stench lean over him, and before he could move, he found himself within the mouth of Victreebel.

Noctowl immediately flocked towards the top of the ceiling, trying to navigate her way towards the door. Just as she reached the top of the ceiling, she felt a vine grip her talon, pulling her down with incredible force. Flapping her wings frantically, the panic she was feeling reached a climax as Victreebel drew her even closer. She began to call for help, but they were quickly muffled after she was thrown between Victreebel's fangs.

After a moment of chewing on Gastly and Noctowl, Victreebel spat them out towards the ceiling, watching with glee as they were fired past the roof and outside his home, tearing a hole in the ceiling.

Ths suddenly gap in the ceiling brought some light into the room, and Golisopod sighed with relief as his vision cleared up. Just as he turned around to check on his other team members, he found himself standing directly in front of Victreebel's gaping jaw.

"... Fuck."

Just as he had begun to brace himself for an attack, a voice called out to him. "I'll save you, Pod-Pod!"

At the blink of an eye, Dragonite had flung himself at Victreebel, and after a moment of struggle, Victreebel finally managed to open her jaws wide enough to swallow the dragon whole. Just as Dragonite was being mushed around her mouth, he called out to Golisopod.

"Run, Pod-Pod!"

 **0000**

 **Golisopod's eyes were wide. "Did Dragonite save my life?"**

 **The arthropod shook his head.**

" **I'm not even on his team!"**

 **0000**

"You know," Froslass began. "The three of us make a pretty good team."

Her, Vespiquen and Shroomish were wandering through the hallway, mostly silent apart from a few murmurs here and there. After the team strategizing that morning, they decided to become a team, especially seeing the way they all bounced ideas off each other.

"Indeed, we do," Vespiquen chirped, smiling calmly. "Though, I wonder how many of our team-mates are still yet to be caught by the Victreebel."

Shroomish, after taking a few steps forward, stopped. "Um, I think we've reached a dead end."

"That can't be right," Froslass said, eyeing the wall. "It was Salazzle who said this was the way to the kitchens-" she abruptly stopped speaking, a look of frustration wiping the confusion from her face.

Vespiquen cocked her head to the side. "What is it?"

"Maybe we weren't speaking to Salazzle. Maybe that was Zoroark in disguise - and Zoroark is on the other team!"

Shroomish's eyes widened. "We better turn back then, before it's-"

" _And that is the end of a perfect day…."_

Their screams were drowned out by the harsh snapping of Victreebel's fangs.

 **0000**

 **Zoroark sighed. "Those three are nice people, but my team needed it."**

 **0000**

"I dunno about that Zoroark…" Pancham was muttering dubiously, "That wasn't showing very much integrity."

"Yes, but our team needs it if we plan on winning again."

Pancham bit his lip. "I think I'm going to check up on them."

"What?"

The small panda was already running the direction they had come from, his fists balled up beside him as he pounded through the rooms.

"Pancham!" Zoroark called out after him. "Not again! Don't- _ugh_."

She heard Pancham shriek, but then courageously yell something at the Victreebel. Within moments, Pancham had gone silent. She sighed once again.

"Looks like I'm all alone in this hell-hole."

* * *

"Thank Arceus I'm alone in this hell-hole," Salazzle drawled, pacing around the mansion."No one to bother me, no one to get in my way-" She halted when she saw a large group of Pokémon slowly stride through the room beside her, lead by the Magikarp.

"What the _fuck_? How have they not been-"

The moment of distraction was detrimental for her, though; before she knew it, an iron grip of a vine had latched onto her ankle, dragging her towards Victreebel's mouth.

 **0000**

" **I need to step up my game," Salazzle noted, glaring at the slobber that coated her skin. "Otherwise that stupid Golisopod is going to have a go at me.** _ **Again**_ **. But it's not my fault that these challenges are so stupid!"**

 **0000**

 **Lurantis raised his eyebrow at the camera. "Gaining Garchomp's trust was hard. She hates everyone except for Charizard."**

 **A wicked grin began to spread up his face.**

" **Which is exactly how I'm going to get her to trust me."**

 **0000**

"So, is there something up between you and Charizard?" Lurantis asked casually, walking in line with Garchomp.

"No," Garchomp snapped in response, before adding, "Why?"

Lurantis smiled sweetly. "It's just that he seems to be attracted to you very much."

Suddenly, Garchomp's tense demeanour loosened slightly as her cheeks swelled with a bright, pink colour. "Oh, um-"

"He just looks at you with such a strong sense of affection in his eyes," Lurantis continued innocently. "If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was madly in love with you. He is certainly entranced by your beauty."

Garchomp flushed, looking down fondly at her hands. Though she couldn't tell the Lurantis how right he was; she was honoured to know that Charizard did deeply care for her and that his love was clear to other Pokémon as well. Certainly, it would mean that no other girl would try interfering with him-

"Of course, I saw Vespiquen flirting around with him a bit."

Her jaw dropping, she whipped he head around to glare at Lurantis. " _What_?"

Lurantis shrugged. "Don't worry. I told Vespiquen to back off from him, because he was obviously already taken - emotionally, at least - by you."

A wave of relief coursed through Garchomp's body, the jealousy sinking back down to the depths of her heart. "Thanks for doing that, Lurantis."

"So I take it that you do like him?"

"What do you mean?"

Tilting his head to one side, Lurantis said, "Well, you wouldn't have thanked me otherwise."

"Oh," Garchomp mustered, suddenly vaguely aware of how much subtlety she was lacking. "I-"

Lurantis shrugged away her protest. "Relax. I won't tell anyone. We are friends, after all. And team-mates."

"Right. Thanks," Garchomp said quickly, smiling gratefully. "I just better make sure this Vespiquen person knows not to cross the line."

"Don't worry," the grass-type assured. "The two of us, together, can take her down."

 **0000**

" **I didn't actually think I would make any friends on this show," Garchomp stated, matter-of-factly. "But Lurantis isn't so bad. Not great either, but not bad."**

 **0000**

 **Lurantis winked. "I'm taking a few big challenges down all at once. Poor Vespiquen won't even see it coming."**

 **0000**

Shaymin's voice sounded started sounding through an unknown speaker within the room. "Okay, so since there are only twelve of you left in the house, I thought I would update you on how the teams are going. Kyogres: you still have eight contestants in the house! As for the Groudons, you've only got four. You guys really do suck!"

"Wow, Shaymin," Charizard huffed. "So mature."

He hadn't intended for anyone to hear him, but Absol responded nonetheless. "Our team isn't doing very well, is it? That's okay. We can win for them."

"And how exactly are we going to do that?" Charizard asked, his hands on his hips. "What are you even doing?"

The dark-type Pokémon had been scurrying around the room, grabbing bits of vines and threads from around the room. "I'm weaving together a web, so that when Victreebel comes, she will get stuck and can't eat us!"

Charizard nodded his head, raising his eyebrows as Absol managed to trip himself on a vine. "And you're sure this will work?"

"I've done this as a prank on my friends _all_ the time. We'll be fi- _ah!_ "

Before the dark-type could finish his sentence, he tripped, yet again, on another vine. Stumbling to catch his balance, he face-planted straight into the web he had been creating. After a moment of desperate struggling, he found that he could not unlatch himself from the vines.

"Heh," Absol breathed, grinning bashfully. "I guess it works really well! I'm stuck tight."

After a sigh, Charizard moved forwards to help the Absol. However, he too, tripped on a sly vine that had clung onto his ankle. Head-first, he fell straight onto Abol, both of them tangled beneath each other's limbs as well as the vines surrounding them.

"What?" Charizard scowled, trying to push himself off the ground. "I _never_ trip on loose vines."

Absol gulped. "I don't think it was a loose one, Charizard."

" _Victreebel, Victreebel, Pokémon eater… I have some legs in the freezer…"_

"Shit."

Shaymin's voice, once again, sounded through the speakers.

"Victreebel got both Charizard and Absol, meaning that the Groudons are down to only two players, while the Kyogres are going strong on eight!"

 **0000**

 **Zoroark nodded slowly. "I'm going to be honest, when I looked at the teams, I thought our team was screwed. We have a Magikarp, and like, three Pokémon who worship it. And the Groudons have strong Pokémon, like Incineroar, Golisopod, Salazzle and Charizard. But hey, looks like our Magikarp cult is actually going pretty well."**

 **0000**

After trudging through the kitchen for a bit, Zoroark spotted Golisopod on the other end, who was frowning as he guided himself through the room.

"Zoroark," he barked gruffly when he saw her. "What are you doing here?"

The fox smiled weakly. "You know, just trying to help my team to win."

Just then, the familiar, screechy voice echoed around the room.

" _I season Pokémon with a special flair...Grill them up so they're medium rare."_

The door slammed open, and Golisopod grinned at Zoroark. "Victreebel's here."

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because one of us is about to get eaten, and it sure isn't me."

Victreebel emerged into room, a wicked grin flashing his fangs. Smirking at Golisopod, Zoroark remarked, "Are you sure about that?" Just as she finished her sentence, her voice suddenly turned chimey, much like the ringing of a bell, and Golisopod frowned in frustration. Zoroark had transformed into Shaymin.

The grass-type Pokémon, whose jaws were spread apart as she hunted for her prey, stopped abruptly when she saw 'Shaymin'. Deciding to temporarily ignore the smaller legendary Pokémon, Victreebel turned her fierce gaze to Golisopod, shooting out several vines to cling onto Golisopod.

Golisopod, far too busy snarling at Zoroark, was not prepared for the strength of Victreebel's vines. As they tugged onto his ankles, the large Pokémon found himself planting his face onto the ground, being dragged torturously against the cold, metallic floor.

"Screw you, Zoroark," were the last words he said before Victreebel swallowed him whole, rolling him around in her mouth and cannoning him straight out of her mansion. Afterwards, Victreebel focused her attention onto the Shaymin in the room.

Zoroark, still displayed as an illusion of Shaymin, forced a smile as she wracked her brain of what to say. She had to somehow convince Victreebel that she was Shaymin, so that Victreebel would leave her alone; but what was something Shaymin would say?

"Erm… Did you like the flower crown that we made for you?" Zoroark attempted.

Victreebel hissed, before suddenly pouncing onto the Shaymin and chomping her down without a second thought.

 **0000**

 **Zoroark, no longer disguised as Shaymin, raised her paws up in confusion. "But I was disguised as Shaymin! Why would Victreebel eat Shaymin?"**

 **0000**

" **Haha, sucker!" Shaymin snickered. "Victreebel hates me just as much as she hates everyone else! Totally serves Zoroark right for even trying to copy me."**

 **0000**

Lurantis and Garchomp strolled through the mansion, side by side, deeply engaged in a conversation regarding Charizard. It was the only topic, Lurantis noticed with interest, that seemed to allow Garchomp to look less snappy.

"You know," Lurantis started, raising his eyebrows at Garchomp. "Since you and Charizard have such a strong connection, would you be able to smell him from like, the other end of the island?"

Garchomp laughed a little at the thought. After a moment of thought, she finally said, "Actually, yeah. I bet I could smell exactly where he was when Victreebel ate him and spat him out."

The two grinned at the thought.

"Well, then," Lurantis smirked. "Lead the way. Let's see whether you're right."

Garchomp, holding her head high in the air, began to trace her way back to where Charizard had been only minutes ago. As she shoved the room door open, Lurantis nodded, impressed. "I can certainly see that Charizard was here. There are random burnt bits everywhere."

"Plus," Garchomp added. "It smells like his cologne."

"... You know what his cologne smells like?"

Flushing furiously, Garchomp waved the question away. "Anyways, we better head back. This is a bad spot for us to be in; it's a dead end and Victreebel can-"

" _Victreebel eats all his food with relish… Even if the killing seems hellish…."_

Victreebel was upon them in moments, ferociously devouring the two within moments.

 **0000**

 **Espeon growled at the camera. "** _ **Seriously**_ **? I'm the only Groudon left in this challenge, and there are five Kyogres? I thought our team was better than that."**

 **0000**

Weaving her way through the corridors, Espeon stalked the Magikarp cult, her eye twitching with frustration. Porygon-Z, Magikarp, Primarina, Musharna and Pumpkaboo had all managed to remain silent as they trekked through the rooms, and had somehow managed to avoid Victreebel.

Her mouth twisting into her frown, she narrowed her eyes, examining each individual Pokémon carefully. All she needed to do was force some sound out of one of them, to attract Victreebel attention. But how? The Pokémon were entranced in the silence, their unadulterated focus pinpointed on Magikarp.

"I thought there were supposed to be a loud bunch," Espeon murmured to herself. Musharna and Primarina, she knew, were rather quiet; but it was the others that surprised her. Pumpkaboo, just a few days ago, went on and on boasting about her talents while screeching to Shaymin about the importance of Shakespeare; Lycanroc was so wildly insane and incoherent, he was always blabbering meaningless words and always declaring praise and affection towards Magikarp. How could Porygon-Z, in the presence of Magikarp himself, not be uttering a sound? He was certainly almost as loud as Lycanroc. Why, even that morning, Incineroar had moaned about how loudly he slept-talk about his torturous, laborious life in the Goldrenrod City Lab.

Suddenly, an idea sprang to Espeon's mind.

Hurrying her pace, she padded towards the Magikarp cult, her lip twisted into a snark. "How the hell are you guys surviving for so long in this house?"

The five of them all exchanged glances, but after a gesture from Magikarp and Primarina, remained silent. Espeon snickered. "I'm surprised you made it this far. A half-deaf and half-asleep Musharna, a Magikarp who is incapable of anything apart from splashing, a Primarina who can barely slide on the ground, and a midget Pumpkin."

"I am not-" Pumpkaboo protested, her cheeks flushing with fury as she furrowed her eyebrows. However, after a warning glance from Magikarp, Pumpkaboo immediately shut up.

Espeon raised her eyebrows. They were doing well to not fall for her taunts. With a sly glance towards Porygon-Z, she snarled, "Oh, and how could I forget Porygon-Z? Honestly, I don't know why you joined this competition in the first place. Why don't you go back to the Goldenrod City laboratory where you came from?"

That was all it took to completely trigger the Porygon-Z.

His head spinning, he began shaking his limbs, protruding them at awkward angles. Without warning, he slammed his body into all the Pokémon around him, shoving them as he spun about in a frenzy. "No! Stop- Carna-verso-intrus-malfunc-dea-stab-test- _hurts_!" Porygon-Z wailed, sobbing hysterically as he screeched.

"Porygon-Z," Magikarp attempted in a soothing, fluid voice. "You must calm down."

But the normal-type was having none of it.

His jerks becoming more violent and rigid, he knocked over all the furniture, his screams piercing the ears of those around him. He tried to search for Espeon, but the psychic Pokémon had completely disappeared.

Unsatisfied, Porygon-Z began attacking his own teammates, consumed by the fury and terror he felt as he remembered the old laboratory in which he was tortured and abused mercilessly. His voice raw with anguish, he fired Thunderbolts and Primarina and Magikarp, paralysing them completely as they cried out in pain. Afterwards, he began blasting Signal Beams towards Pumpkaboo and Musharna, oblivious to their shouts of protest.

"I think he is re-living the memory!" Primarina called out over the chaotic sound of crashing furniture. "The poor thing is frightened because he thinks he is being tortured!"

From the outside of the mansion, the other contestants watched in horror as beams began to penetrate through the walls and to the outside, causing gaping holes to appear on the house. The Killer Kyogres dropped their jaws as they saw Porygon-Z, harassing all his team members, shrieking in an unintelligible and agonising voice.

Garchomp's jaw dropped. "What the _fuck_ is going on in there?"

"I'm not sure," Lurantis drawled. "But by the looks of it, Porygon-Z is in charge of it."

The loud shrieks and tumultuous wreckage of the house did not go unnoticed by Victreebel, who was storming her way towards the room where all the destruction was taking place.

" _I must be fed…. Off with your heads!"_

Upon hearing the voice, Magikarp hissed at Porygon-Z. "You need to shut up and stop wrecking the place! Victreebel is coming!"

This only enraged the Porygon-Z further. "Raising! Scaling! Verbarlabia! Semivitrifcation! Don't hurt me!" he shrieked.

Victreebel grinned as her eyes locked onto the Porygon-Z.

" _Here in the forest, dark and deep… I offer you eternal sleep."_

Pumpkaboo, awestruck by the poetic line sung by the Victreebel, gushed. "You have a love for poetry, Victreebel? So do I!"

Before Victreebel could respond, Porygon, still a hysterical mess, grabbed onto Pumpkaboo and tossed her into the mouth of Victreebel.

"Porygon-Z! _No!_ " Primarina called out, watching in horror as Pumpkaboo was hurtled straight into Victreebel's mouth.

Pumpkaboo, her voice muffled from within the mouth, was fawning. "Oh, _yes_ , Victreebel! You can eat me! And spit me out, just like you spit out those gorgeous lines of poetry!" After a moment, the Victreebel complied, expectorating the Pumpkaboo from her mouth.

 **0000**

" **Wow," Pumpkaboo gasped in wonder. "Even her mouth smelt like Shakespeare!"**

 **0000**

Once Pumpkaboo was out of her house, Victreebel turned to face Porygon-Z, who had grabbed onto Musharna.

"Boron! Perfuse! Petromyzont! Jabberwocky!" Porygon-Z screeched, before throwing Musharna into Victreebel's mouth.

Just as she was spinning in the air, Musharna opened her eyelid. "Huh? I don't…. I don't play hockey…."

Magikarp flopped onto the ground as Porygon-Z approached him. "Primarina," the fish called out. "It would be greatly appreciated if thou could assist Lord Magikarp-"

"I would love to help, Magikarp, but I'm paralysed from his thunder bolt," Primarina replied, constraining herself to keep her voice calm and collected. Within moments, Porygon-Z had already thrown Magikarp into Victreebel's mouth, and was steadily pushing Primarina straight towards the plant's gaping jaws.

"Porygon-Z, you need to _stop_ ," Primarina protested as she was shoved into Victreebel's mouth.

"Grueling! Time-keeper! Anchorwoman!"

Once Victreebel had spat Primarina out of the house, the plant growled at Porygon-Z. Hissing ferociously, Porygon fired a Signal Beam towards the plant, but Victreebel had already shot out a vine and latched it onto Porygon-Z's body.

With a snappy jerk, Victreebel hauled the Porygon-Z into her mouth, cackling as the normal-type rampaged within her. After of a moment of relishing the moist Pokémon in her mouth, she puckered her lips and spat him out of her house.

Porygon-Z landed in the grass, and his team members crowded around him.

"Are you okay?" Jigglypuff asked. "You're not in Goldenrod, you can relax. No one is going to hurt you-"

She was interrupted by Tor. "What the hell, man? You threw your own team members into the Victreebel's mouth!"

"Um, Tor," Ex muttered excitedly. "... I think we won, anyways! Victreebel ate Porygon-Z last, but he was the last one remaining, so we still win!"

The Killer Kyogres gaped at each other, before exclaiming in celebration. The Groudons, seeing the glowing and grinning beams of their enemy team, groaned in frustration.

"We lost," Golisopod growled. " _Again_."

"Hold your beak, Golisopod!" Shaymin called out, swooping down to land beside her contestants.

"I don't have a beak."

Shaymin clucked. "Look, I'm about to tell you good news. Do you want to hear it or not?"

"Whatever."

"Well," Shaymin began, her eyebrows rising mischievously. "It seems that everyone has forgotten about one contestant who is _still_ in the house!"

All the contestants snapped their attention to the house, where Victreebel was standing at the doorway, chattering rather boisterously to another Pokémon.

Espeon.

"Of course," Primarina sighed. "Espeon is the one who taunted Porygon-Z in the first place."

To everyone's surprise, Espeon and Victreebel were getting along fabulously.

"Damn. I can't believe Shaymin made you deal with all thirty-five of us. Most people here are annoying as fuck."

"Tell me about it! It was a _pleasure_ to chew on them."

"How many times did you wish you could just swallow them and be ridden of them for good?"

"Oh, honey, _don't_ get me started," Victreebel warned, before smiling fondly at Espeon. "Anyways, see you around, Espeon."

 **0000**

 **Zoroark arched her eyebrow. "I called it. I knew those two were basically twins at heart."**

 **0000**

"Congratulations, Espeon!" Shaymin exclaimed. "You've just won for the Guzzling Groudons, which means that you're all safe from elimination! Killer Kyogres? I'll see you at the campfire. Vote carefully!"

 **0000**

" **I vote Espeon!" Porygon-Z squealed at the camera, the familiar image of the Pokémon in his mind. After he had calmed down, all he could think about was how angry she made him. "The pink one!"**

 **0000**

" **We were so damned close to winning!" Tor growled. "It was that stupid Porygon-Z that ruined everything!"**

 **Ex sighed. "Come on, buddy. The poor thing was suffering from PTSD. Let's not vote for him. Let's vote for a bigger threat; someone like… Zoroark?"**

" **No! Porygon-Z it is! What do you say, Egg?"**

 **Egg, who was quivering in between the two bickering heads, mumbled. "P-Porygon-Z s-scares me! I d-don't want him near me!"**

" **There. Two against one. We vote Porygon-Z."**

 **0000**

 **Wiping snot onto a tissue that was already trenched with tears, Dragonite pouted.**

" **Magikarp is a** _ **meanie**_ **."**

 **0000**

 **Lucario bit his lip nervously. "At this rate, Meowstic is gonna steal all the chicks away from me. If all of them like him, who will I flirt with?"**

 **0000**

" **I vote Jigglypuff," Mimikyu hissed at the camera, her lips curled in resentment. "Scary things, I t-tell you!"**

 **0000**

 **Slamming his fist onto the table, Pancham frowned. "What Porygon-Z did was disloyal to our tribe- I mean, the team!"**

 **0000**

" **I vote Shaymin!" Pumpkaboo declared. "No one should ever hate on Shakespeare!"**

 **A moment of silence ensued, and a muffled voice muttered something to Pumpkaboo from the outside of the treehouse. Listening intently, Pumpkaboo's jaw dropped.**

" **What do you mean, I can't eliminate the host?!"**

 **0000**

 **Musharna blinked, completely dazed. "Hm…? I think someone said something about… voting? Or was it…. Floating?"**

 **She linked her lips, her eyelids slowly beginning to droop.**

" **Hm… Meowstic floats… Meowstic…"**

 **0000**

"Welcome to your first elimination ceremony, Kyogres!" Shaymin greeted, probably the only Pokémon at the campfire who was releasing bursts of excitement. "And honestly, I kind of hope it is your last because you guys honestly _suck_ at voting. Because of this, I'm going to have to go through some voting rules."

She raised her eyebrows. "First of all, you _cannot_ eliminate the host - I'm looking at you, Pumpkaboo. It's a good thing you changed your vote, because otherwise it wouldn't have counted."

Pumpkaboo scowled at her, but Shaymin continued, oblivious.

"Secondly, you cannot vote for Pokémon on the _other team_. Porygon-Z, we know you tried to vote for Espeon, but Espeon is not on your team. Then you said 'the pink one' - so I just went out on a limb and pretended that you voted for Jigglypuff."

Jigglypuff bit her lip worriedly, exchanging a nervous glance with Ribombee.

"Okay, now that we've got that started, I can announce the first Pokémon to receive Gracidea flowers and be safe from elimination!" Shaymin babbled, gesturing for Bellossom to step forward with the flowers.

"So, the Pokémon who are absolutely safe because they had no votes at all are: Luxio, Lurantis, Garchomp, Pancham, Dragonite, Ribombee, and Lucario! Congratulations!" As Shaymin called their names out, Bellossom threw the Gracidea flowers.

Dragonite raised the flower to his chest and gasped. "I'm going to give this to Pod-Pod!"

"And the last few Pokémon that didn't acquire any votes at all are: Banette, Zoroark, Mimikyu, Primarina, Musharna, Exeggutor, and - you can stop giving me that look Pumpkaboo, because you also received no votes."

Catching their Gracidea flowers, they all moved to the side, their eyes fixed onto the four Pokémon remaining at the logs. Shaymin snickered devilishly at the four.

"Jigglypuff, Magikarp, Meowstic and Porygon-Z; you've all been voted by our own team-members. Porygon-Z, I'm not even going to start on how much you screwed up. Magikarp, you were supposed to be in control of Porygon-Z, so I guess you failed as a leader."

"And you are failing at being a host," Pumpkaboo mumbled to herself, earning herself a glare from Shaymin.

"Anyways," Shaymin continued. "Magikarp, though you may have failed as a leader of some sorts, you only received one vote against you, so you're safe!"

Magikarp flopped over to the side, unable to properly catch its Gracidea flower. Dragonite hissed slightly as Magikarp got closer, but did not say a word.

"Jigglypuff, Meowstic and Porygon-Z, eh? One of you is considered a threat of sorts, one of you is quite disliked by a contestant or two, and the other screwed up pretty bad."

Porgyon-Z, in particular, looked down at his feet, while Jigglypuff and Meowstic both furrowed their eyebrows in perplexment.

"Jigglypuff, as you know, you were voted once by accident because Porygon-Z had said 'the pink one'. Though another person voted for you, you only had two votes against you; so you are safe for today."

Flashing a sympathetic smile to Meowstic and Porygon-Z, Jigglypuff accepted her flower and scurried to the side, running to embrace Rimombee.

"And the final Gracidea flower goes to…"

Both Porygon-Z and Meowstic sat up in their seats, their shoulders tensed up rigidly.

"Meowstic, who only received two votes; and I'm pretty sure one of them was an accident."

After a heavy sigh of relief, Meowstic reached out and caught his flower. Patting Porygon-Z softly on the shoulder, Meowstic said, "Sorry, man. It was nice knowing you, though."

"Was it really, though?" Shaymin snarked, before adding. "With thirteen votes to your name, Porygon-Z, you have been eliminated from the show."

 **0000**

" **Brashy! Wireless! Frequentative!" Porygon-Z called out, before adding, "Haxorus was nice. Verbarsanhita! Estrangement!"**

 **0000**

 **Haxorus frowned. "I know I didn't exactly have an exceptional time with Porygon-Z last challenge, but I'll kinda miss his randomness, you know? He can't help being… Him."**

 **0000**

Porygon-Z, just as he was heading onto his boat, turned around to take one final glance at the island. Rather than the bare, grassy meadows he had expected to see, Haxorus was standing there, smiling sympathetically.

"Hey, Porygon-Z," Haxorus said. "I noticed that no one had come to say farewell, so I thought I would come and, you know, say goodbye."

When Porygon-Z cocked his head to the side in bewilderment, Haxorus sighed.

"I guess I'm going to have to translate that for you in your language, won't I?" Haxorus asked, a small smile tweaking the corner of her lips. She drew a big breath, before saying at a furiously fast pace, "Compunctionless! Sanderling! Psychoanalysis!"

She continued to call out as many complex words, and to her delight, Porygon-Z's face brightened completely. Glowing with excitement, he called out, "Brangler!"

"Manilkara!"

"Macrography!"

"Verbarinduviaelig!"

"Bacteriolysis!"

After a moment, they both burst out laughing, grinning at the absolute absurdity of whatever they had been screeching at each other. They both gave each other one final, acknowledging nod, before Porygon-Z levitated towards his boat.

Just as the boat began to drift away into the horizon, Porygon-Z opened his mouth. Haxorus had expected him to screech something unintelligible or random, but was pleasantly surprised by what he called out to her instead.

"Farewell, Haxorus! Thank you for being my only friend!"

Haxorus felt a flutter of warmth as she heard him speak. That had been Porygon-Z's first coherent sentence since his arrival, and she couldn't help but feel honoured that it had been spoken to her.

Looking down at her hands, Haxorus shook her head in awe.

"Oh, Arceus Above. I think I might actually miss him."

* * *

It was nighttime, and all the campers were sleeping, except for one.

In the Kyogre girls' cabin, Pumpkaboo was still awake, wide amber eyes blinking up at the wooden ceiling. She shifted around, her pumpkin form making a small dent in the mattress.

"Musharna?" She called gently to the other Kyogre, whose bunk was right above hers.

"Musharnaaaaaa~" Pumpkaboo raised her voice a little, but there was still no response from the Drowsing Pokémon.

"Musharna?" She questioned, sounding a little nervous. "Are you there?" Floating up to Musharna's bed, she peered over the railing, seeing the larger sleeping soundly.

"Musharna!" Pumpkaboo whisper-yelled, still not successfully waking her up.

Sighing to herself, Pumpkaboo let a light Seed Bomb, not enough to hurt Musharna, but strong enough that she was awoken from her deep sleep.

"Oh…. Pumpkaboo…"

"Sorry to interrupt your sleeping but… I couldn't sleep…" Pumpkaboo looked down, flushing slightly.

Musharna smiled and replied, "It's alright, I have just the thing." Using her psychic powers, she lifted a small orange and black trinket out of her bag. "Here, put this over your bed, it'll help you sleep." Smiling, Musharna yawned and buried herself under her blankets again. "Night!"

Quietly, Pumpkaboo hopped back to her bed and hung it up.

 **0000**

" **It smells like vanilla and mint, I love it! And it's in my favourite colors! Musharna is so thoughtful!" Pumpkaboo said happily, fiddling with the small accessory.**

 **0000**

And for once, all of the island was asleep.

* * *

 **AUTHORS' NOTES**

 **Tomato Soup: So first of all, a HUGE thank you to Nuclear The Shadow Vulpix, who was the creator of Porygon-Z! While I do regret that he has to be second to go, it was necessary. I feel like it was my fault, really. I had asked for some crazy characters, and literally five people sent me worshippers of Lord Magikarp. Porygon-Z had to be the one to go, just because I couldn't find any good development that would not seem forced. So, sorry!**

 **XD Lots of you predicted that either Charizard or Dragonite would be going. Like, seriously, you guys are giving Lurantis way too much credit. While he is freaking badass, could he really target and eliminate two people in two episodes? (Actually, now that I think of it….) As for Dragonite? Well. We'll see. ;)**

 **And we meet our second manipulator! While we always knew Espeon was a bit #rood, I think this episode made it a little more prominent. Don't worry - there are differences between her and Lurantis. Espeon, though independent, did it more for her team and is slightly less sadistic, in my eyes. Who do you like better, out of the two? Or, who do you like best out of everyone?**

 **I'm sorry for those who didn't get much screen-time this episode. I'm trying to take turns. For example, Zoroark got a lot more while Lurantis got a whole lot less. Some still haven't had much time to shine (sorry, Mimikyu, Vespiquen, Primarina, Froslass, Shroomish, and a bunch of others who I can't list off the top of my head!) but their time will come. XD Eventually.**

 **Also, please tell us your predictions! I thought this one was pretty easy to predict - because I foreshadowed it. A lot. In fact, you should all be easily able to guess the next five eliminations, because I've already started foreshadowing all of them. XD So, please, look carefully for the foreshadow and tell me who you think will be next to go! If you guess correctly, I'll…. Erm… make a special mention of you in the next chapter? XD**

 **Also, there's a not-so-subtle and really… inappropriate sexual joke in there somewhere. A cookie to whoever finds it. XD I hope it made you blush.**

 **Milk Carton: Helllooooooooo!**

 **I don't have much to say this time, but yeah, this chapter is already done! There is a ridiculous amount of foreshadowing, in lots of different ways. So, make your predictions (not just for eliminations) in the reviews!**

 **Please leave a review, it really helps :)**

 **Now, time for Tomato Soup's favourite thing (these will be going up on my profile too!):**

 **35th Place: Porygon-Z (The Insane Idiot)**

 **Honestly, there were just too many Lord Magikarp worshippers to handle. It was difficult to find a place for all of them, and give them each an individual development thread. So one of them had to go, and poor Porygon-Z was the one. This guy is the reason my vocabulary has expanded, honestly. He had his little snip-its of a backstory here and also said his first coherent sentence just before he left. While I'm a little sad to see my vocabulary-expander go, I hope I have done him enough justice. Overall, a decent fellow who needed to work on his hysteria control. I think Haxorus brought out both the best and worst in him, which was why I wanted her to say farewell to him.**


	7. Chapter 7: Behind the Veil

**Chapter IV: Behind the Veil**

His eyes wide with alert, Gastly tentatively floated around the forest, flinching at every miniscule sound that he heard.

"Come o-on, Gastly," he murmured to himself. "You can d-do this."

Every bit of the purple haze that cloaked his face seemed to disperse in terror as he forced himself into the depths of the woods. He did not want to be lurking in some dark, spooky, and potentially haunted forest.

But he knew that he had no choice.

After his encounter with Victreebel in the last challenge, Gastly couldn't help but feel ashamed of how easily he had gotten devoured by the grass-type. So, swallowing down his terror, he decided to wake up early and take a trek through the forest, in order to conquer and battle his fears.

"This was a t-terrible idea," he hissed to himself, his body trembling as a cold gust of air nearly swept him away. "I should g-go back-"

"Hmph! Ugh! Hmph!"

Gastly froze as soon as he heard the grunts, his entire body paralysing in horror. "H-hello? Who's there?"

The determined voice ignored him and continued releasing exhausted yet strong cries. After a moment, Gastly realised that whichever Pokémon was making the sound was also thumping against a nearby tree, constantly battering the tree bark with punches as he or she grunted.

His mind reeling, Gastly began turning around hastily to make a run for it. For all he knew, it could be Incineroar or Golisopod who were training by smacking a tree, and Gastly did not want to mess with either of those large, bulky, downright terrifying-

"Gastly?"

Mentally cursing himself, Gastly responded, his voice quivering as he spoke, "Y-yes?"

"I'd appreciate it if you turned around, so I wasn't talking to your back, you know."

Gastly released a sigh of relief as he turned around to find Buneary, her head cocked to the side, watching him with an amused expression on her face.

"Hi, B-b-bun-bun-"

Buneary exhaled loudly. "How much longer until you manage to say my name?"

Ghastly opened his mouth to speak.

"And don't you even think about calling me Bun-Bun."

The ghost type slammed his mouth shut.

"Anyways, what are you even _doing_ here?" Buneary asked, propping her hand onto her hips as she stared down the petrified ghost.

"I-I-I…."

"Well," she interrupted suddenly. "What a coincidence! I just happened to be training."

Biting his lip, Gastly, timidly began to mutter. "Well, I suppose I should l-leave you to it."

"Nah, I'm done now. My hand was starting to hurt," she confessed, adding a small snicker. "You can only punch a tree for so long."

"Mhm."

After a moment of silence, Buneary sprag up, exclaiming, "I have an idea!"

"What?"

"You can be my punching bag!"

" _What_?"

"Don't look so scared," Buneary scoffed, seating herself down onto the ground, ignoring the itching scratches of the twigs. "You're a ghost type, and I'm a normal type. All my punches will go straight through you; which is why you're the perfect punching bag!"

Gastly, blinking slowly, looked unconvinced. "Um…?"

"What I mean is," Buneary began to explain, rolling her eyes. "I won't keep hurting my hand, because my punches won't be hitting anything solid, and you won't be getting hurt because you won't feel anything. But since I'll still be practising my punches, I'll still grow even stronger. And maybe you'll learn how to stop flinching every time someone raises their voice."

His expression still baffled, Gastly began to weigh down the options in his head. It would be useful to stop being a coward by spending time with Buneary, even though she could be pushy. Besides, perhaps Buneary might even be his first potential friend.

"Um… Sure t-thing, Bun-bun-"

"If you call me Bun-Bun though, stammer or not, the deal is off."

 **0000**

" **I have no idea what I'm getting myself into," Gastly admitted. "And at this point, I'm too afraid to a-ask!"**

 **0000**

"Charizard?"

Upon hearing the dry, yet somewhat amused voice, Charizard swore to himself as he whipped his head around. "What do you want, Lurantis?"

The grass-type strolled up to him calmly, closely examining the claws that penetrated from his red scythes. "Oh, I was just wondering about how our deal was going."

"It's going fine."

"Sure about that?" A menacing smirk crawled up the grass-type's face. "I could have sworn that I saw you trying to tell Garchomp something a little private in the last challenge."

Charizard's eyes narrowed. "I didn't tell her anything."

"We're going to keep it that way, aren't we?"

Casting his eyes to the ground, Charizard grumbled beneath his breath.

"Listen here," Lurantis demanded, lowering his voice as he leaned towards Charizard. "You saw how your team reacted to Ludicolo when he chose his tarot cards over his team; they mercilessly eliminated him straight off the bat. How do you think your team would react to knowing that you not only chose a girl over your team, but also a girl on the _enemy_ team?"

"I can tell other Pokémon about you, and what you did to Ludicolo," Charizard threatened, his glare fierce as he crossed his arms against his chest. "I could expose you to everyone."

Lurantis released a hard, chilling laugh. "No, you can't."

"And why not?"

"Because," Lurantis began to reply, his eyes glowering with mischief. "No one would believe you. From what I've seen, you don't have many friends in this show so far. Who would you tell? Someone on your team? Why would anyone in the Groudons give a shit about me, when I'm not even on your team? Even if you told the Kyogres that I got rid of Ludicolo, what would they care? They would be glad; Ludicolo wasn't on our team. Our team won because of me."

Astonished, Charizard shook his head. "You-"

"I think about these sorts of things, Charizard. I'm not an idiot," Lurantis scowled, before adding, "And neither are you. So how about you act like the smart guy you are and keep away from Garchomp?"

"Whatever."

"Promise?"

"I won't promise you anything."

 **0000**

 **Lurantis frowned thoughtfully. "I've got to do something about Charizard fast. I've seen him try to talk to Garchomp several times, and he's already thought about exposing me."**

 **He shook his head slowly, before a wide grin stretched across his face.**

" **But you know what they say: two can keep a secret if one of them is dead."**

 **0000**

"Meet me in the dining room, campers! We have a very special day today!"

Upon hearing Shaymin's sprightly voice, many of the campers ambled their way down towards the dining hall, where they were greeted by an exuberant grin from their host.

"As a few of you know," Shaymin began without preamble. "Today is a very special day."

"You mentioned that already," Stunfisk drawled. "But _what_ is this surprise you speak of?"

Shaymin's face squinted with detest at the Stunfisk, before her features brightened into a radiant and cheery expression. "Well, today is actually-"

Before she could continue, Absol and Luxio had burst into the room, both of them singing in agonisingly shrill and loud voices.

" _Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Espeon! Happy birthday to you!"_ The two Pokémon sang confidently, though out of tune. Espeon, eyes wide with horror, scowled at the two incomers.

"Idiots," she hissed, glowering at both Absol and Luxio. "Do you even-"

Shaymin interrupted the psychic-type immediately. "Anyways, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by Absol and Luxio," Shaymin continued, smiling passively as she shot a dirty look towards the incomers. "Today is Espeon's birthday! So, today's challenge will actually be a series of challenges that are all focused on Espeon!"

A few of the Pokémon murmured their happy birthday wishes to Espeon, while others sneered.

" _Seriously_?" Meowstic snickered. "It sounds like you were desperately running out of challenge ideas. Does Espeon even approve of this idea?"

"No," Espeon confirmed. "I don't approve of this idea at all."

Shaymin scowled at both of them. "It doesn't matter! I'm the host, and I decide! Besides, I've already planned everything out, so shut up otherwise it's automatic elimination."

As soon as the snappy words left her mouth, the contestants' kept their mouths shut.

"Great," Shaymin sighed. "So, because it's her birthday, we've decided that Espeon is automatically going to be immune from elimination this episode, regardless of whether the Groudons win or lose. Also, the lucky birthday girl gets to pick one member from the Kyogres to give automatic immunity to, and neither her nor the contestant she chooses will have to participate in any of today's challenges."

The cast, hearing the information, were completely flabbergasted by the sudden advantage that Espeon had gained. The only Pokémon whose jaw was not dropped in surprise was Espeon, who instead had a small smile growing on her lips.

 **0000**

" **I guess this whole birthday challenge fiasco isn't such a bad idea after all," Espeon confessed, winking at the camera.**

 **0000**

"So, Espeon," Shaymin started, turning to face the birthday girl. "Who, from the Kyogres, to you choose to be safe from today's elimination?"

Espeon glanced at all the Kyogres, her eyes narrowing as she analytically stared each one down. Finally, after a moment of hesitation, she turned to face Shaymin with resolved conviction. "I'm going to choose Meowstic to save."

Even Meowstic seemed somewhat surprised by that. Arching his eyebrows, he asked, "Why me? You hardly know me."

"You're a psychic type," Espeon stated with a shrug. "And you're not annoying either."

"Well then!" Shaymin exclaimed. "Looks like you get the day off to rest, Meowstic. Espeon, on the other hand, will need to stay; since the challenges will actually revolve around you. Enjoy your day off, Meowstic!"

Meowstic winked. "I know I will." With that, he sauntered off back to the cabins.

Shaymin then turned to face the remaining contestants. "The rest of you aren't so lucky. I've got a bunch of birthday challenges for you to try. Each team will nominate certain Pokémon to compete in challenges and face-off against the other team in that challenge. Whichever team wins the most challenges wins overall!"

"That sounds great!" Jigglypuff chimed enthusiastically. "What are the challenges?"

"First of all," Shaymin began, clearing her throat dramatically. "We have a Chinese Whispers challenge. One Pokémon from the Groudons will be entrusted with one of Espeon's deep, dark secrets. One Pokémon from the Kyogres will have the mission to hunt down this Groudon, and get them to spill the secret. If they manage to get the Groudon to expose Espeon's secret by sunrise, the Kyogres get a point. If the Groudon manages to keep the secret, they get the point instead!"

Epseon's eyes widened. "Wait, a deep, dark sec-"

"Hush," Shaymin interrupted. "Now, tell us, Espeon, who in your team do you trust to keep a secret?"

"Honestly? None of them."

Shaymin clucked her tongue exasperatedly. "You have to choose _someone_."

"Fine," Espeon finally sighed, her eyebrow arching as she scanned the members on her team. "I'm not sure if I trust her the most, but I know she's tough enough to keep a secret. So I choose Salazzle."

Salazzle shrugged, as if she wasn't surprised at all. "I knew it would be me as soon as you said the word tough," she snickered, striding over so that she was closer to Espeon. "Alright, so what's the secret?"

All the campers craned their ears as Salazzle lowered herself to reach Espeon, so that the psychic Pokémon could whisper into her ear. Her eyes widening with surprise, Salazzle waited until Espeon was finished muttering into her ear.

" _Seriously_?" Salazzle question, her lip tweaking up into a lazy grin. " _That_ is your deep, dark secret?"

Espeon rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and if you don't keep it a secret, you might just be eliminated."

"Whatever you say, birthday girl."

Shaymin, after watching the two glare at each other, cleared her throat. "Okay, Salazzle, your mission is to keep that secret for the rest of the day. The Killer Kyogres will choose someone from their team to hunt you down and pry the secret out of you. Before we let them choose that person, I'm giving you ten seconds to start running and hiding. Go!"

Without hesitation, Salazzle rushed towards the cabins furiously, bustling past all the trees that splintered the path way. Shaymin then turned to the Killer Kyogres.

"Okay," Shaymin started, "Which Kyogre volunteers to chase down Salazzle and force her to spill Espeon's secret?"

"I'll do it!" Tor declared, shoving himself and his three brothers forward.

"Wait," Ex protested. "We need to check if that's okay with the rest of the team-"

Tor was not interested, though. Leaping forward, he called out, "Step aside, motherfuckers!"

The rest of the cast promptly moved out of the Egg Brothers' way, watching in bafflement as Tor marched on while his brothers protested and wailed beside him.

 **0000**

" **Espeon made a bad decision," Golisopod snarked, shaking his head. "If Salazzle got her ass kicked by a Victreebel** _ **and**_ **a Ribombee, she doesn't stand a chance against the Egg Brothers."**

 **0000**

 **Salazzle pointed a sharp gaze at the camera. "I'm going to win this challenge, and I'm going to show that stupid Golisopod who the real threat is."**

 **0000**

"So while those two are having their cat and mouse chase, what are we supposed to do?" Luxio asked curiously, biting his lip.

"I'm glad you asked," Shaymin chortled, her grin wide. "Since it's Espeon's birthday, we've got to get her a gift, of course! So I need three members from each team to go shopping and buy a gift for Espeon. Whoever gets the gift that Espeon likes the most, wins!"

Banette raised her trembling hands to protest. "B-but, isn't that biased? Espeon m-might just choose whichever present that the Groudons got her, so h-her team wins." Many of the other Killer Kyogres nodded in agreement.

"Don't fret," Shaymin reassured. "Espeon won't know which team bought which gift, so it will be as unbiased as possible. Now, teams, choose your three members!"

Instantly, Absol's head perked up. "I'll go get her a gift. Luxio's girl translator had told me exactly what i should get her."

"And what would that be?" Buneary asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Jewellery, of course."

Just as Absol finished his statement, Shaymin began to babble once again.

"Oh, and remember teams, you have a budget of $2!"

" _$2_?" Absol cried. "How do you get someone jewellery with only $2?"

Krokorok bit his lip tentatively, before mumbling, "I should come."

"Huh?"

"If I come," Krokorok explained, "We won't need to use any of the money. I have… methods in which we can get her a gift for free."

"Brilliant!" Absol chirped. "Anyone else want to come, then?"

"I'll c-come," Gastly tentatively muttered, his voice muffled by his constant quivering. "Shopping seems a l-lot less scary than what the other challenges might be."

Krokorok nodded his head encouragingly. "Brilliant. We have a team of three."

Meanwhile, the Kyogres were still discussing who was going to compete in the challenge. Luxio, in particular, seemed eager to go.

"I should go," he insisted. "I know _exactly_ what to get Pokémon for their birthdays. I'm the best at buying gifts!"

"Are you sure about that?" Zoroark asked doubtfully, folding her arms across her chest. "Didn't you get your last friend batteries or something for his birthday?"

Luxio grinned enthusiastically. "Yeah! And they even had some juice left in them."

The rest of the Kyogres exchanged dubious looks as they heard this. With a sigh, Garchomp finally offered, "How about I go with him, to make sure he gets something that a girl would _actually_ want?"

Lurantis nodded in agreement. "That is a good idea. I'll go with her, as well, so we have a group of three."

"Great," Primarina remarked with a nod. "Then we're done and ready to go."

As the teams began to trek their way towards the ferry, where they were to catch a ship to the shops, Shaymin resumed her boisterous instructions.

"Next, there will be a poetry competition. The teams will choose two members from their team to come up with a poem to serenade Espeon. There will be a poem battle, and one pair will win for their team. The pair will have the entire day to prepare themselves."

"It is I, the fantastic Pumpkaboo, that shouldst devote myself to this competition!" Pumpkaboo declared, holding her head high as she puffed her chest forwards proudly. Lucario smiled weakly.

"I'm brilliant at serenading and seducing ladies, so I can do it with her," he volunteered, wincing a little as Pumpkaboo began to rattle away Shakespearean quotes.

"Get thee to a nunnery, you naked sword!" the pumpkin bellowed at the other team. Upon hearing the insult, Stunfisk snarled.

"Did you hear that, Haxorus and Skitty?" Stunfisk hissed. "That _bastard_ , the Lucario, he called me a naked sword!"

Skitty furrowed her eyebrows. "Um… Pretty sure it was the Pumpkbaoo that said that-"

"Doesn't matter! Men are bastards!"

"Damn straight, they are," Haxorus approved, nodding fiercely. "In fact, how about Skitty and I battle him out in the poetry competition and show him that while men are bastards, women are brilliant!"

Stunfisk grinned, her face glowing with delight. "Yes! Women are beasts, but we are not beastly!"

"So," Skitty sighed, grinning immediately afterwards. "I guess that's settled then!"

 **0000**

 **Golisopod's eye twitched. "We have a Magikarp cult on the show,** _ **and**_ **we have a 'Men are Bastards' cult as well. What was Shaymin thinking when she accepted those applications?"**

 **0000**

Salazzle yawned as she glanced around her cabin, rubbing her eyes. She had no idea who her pursuer was going to be, but so far, no one had managed to find her. She prided herself on choosing the cabins as her hide-out; surely no one would come to find her there. That way, both her and Espeon's secret were safe and sound.

Her peaceful dawdle around the room was interrupted by a sharp drumming sound that resonated from the front door. Her eyes widening with alert, a wave of dread coursed through her body, her skin becoming prickly with fear as her hands became clammy. That thrumming sound she was hearing could not have been good at all.

The drumming soon morphed into short, laboured scrapes that pierced her ears. Scampering towards the door, she called out, "Who the hell is making that scraping sound?"

Inching her way towards the window, Salazzle suddenly froze in her spot, her blood turning cold. Standing on the other side of the glass window was Exeggutor, dragging the razor sharp nails on their feet across the glass, producing the screeching, scraping sound.

Her heart pounding, Salazzle ducked behind her bed, her mind rushing with thoughts. The Egg brothers were beside the window, and therefore right next to the door. The door was locked, so she could just stay put and wait for them to leave her alone-

"We're coming for you, Salazzle!"

The sound of glass shattering forced Salazzle to jump on her feet, searching for a way out as Exeggutor climbed through the window.

"The back door!" Salazzle exclaimed to herself, before leaping towards the back of her cabin and shoving the door open. Without turning back, she fled from her room, sprinting as fast as her legs would take her.

Tor scowled as he and his brothers entered the room, to find it bare. Salazzle had escaped.

"We're coming, Salazzle. We're coming."

* * *

"Since it is Espeon's birthday," Shaymin was tattling. "We thought it would be apt to let Espeon come up with her own challenge."

Espeon's ears perked up. "Really? Why, I already have a brilliant challenge, then."

"Great!" Shaymin exclaimed. "What is it?

"It's simple, really," Espeon began, a sly smirk beginning to grow on her face. "One Pokémon from each team is trapped in a room with Victreebel. Whichever Pokémon manages to escape first wins a point for their team. How does that sound?"

Shaymin nodded her head, impressed. "Great. Do you want to choose the two contestants who will face each other in this challenge?"

"Let's see…" Espeon began thoughtfully, her eyes narrow with mischief."From the Killer Kyogres, I choose Mimikyu. I want her to face-off against Golisopod in this challenge." She winked devilishly at Golisopod.

Mimikyu, raising her eyes so that she could see the entirety of the large, arthropod Pokémon, gulped. How could she fight against Golisopod, let alone Victreebel? Clutching her hands to her chest in silent prayer, she cursed to herself.

"Fuck my life."

 **0000**

 **Espeon lolled her head to the side. "Of course that was a strategic move. Golisopod is on my team, so I paired him up against someone he would easily beat. Of course, it'll be hard for both him and Mimikyu to even try beating Victreebel, but hey, at least Golisopod has a fighting chance."**

 **She laughed softly to herself.**

" **Mimikyu? Not so much."**

 **0000**

"Okay," Golisopod began, eyeing Mimikyu with a snark plastered across his face. "Shaymin said that there was a button in here that would teleport everyone out of this room. Whoever presses the button first wins for their team."

Mimikyu nodded solemnly, huddling herself into a little ball as she scanned the small, constricted metallic room. "Y-yes. We just need to wait for Victreebel to c-come."

A small thud sounded against the door, and Mimikyu squealed, rushing to a corner while clutching onto herself tightly. "Don't hurt me!" she squeaked, her voice a mere whimper. Golisopod laughed wickedly.

"I totally have this in the bag."

* * *

"Lurantis!" Garchomp called out. "Hurry up! We'll miss the boat!"

The grass-type rolled his eyes and glanced back at Garchomp and Luxio, who were waiting on board the ship. "Give me a moment. I have something important to tell someone."

Threading his way through the contestants, he finally came to a halt when he saw Stunfisk, who was furiously murmuring to herself.

"Men are complete bastards. They are jerks. Who did he think he was calling _beastly_? I'll show that bastard! I will show him-"

"Stunfisk?" Lurantis moved closer to the model, his eyes narrowed. "Who are you talking to?"

"Great. _Another_ man. Another bastard. Ugh. They're jerks. I bet he is going to tell me that I'm going hysterical because I'm talking to myself. How dare he try to oppress me like that! I bet he is going to call me beastly, too-"

Lurantis shook his head, bemused. "Stunfisk, are you quite alright?"

"Men are _bastards_!" Stunfisk suddenly shrieked, her eyes fierce as she glared at Lurantis.

The grass-type only shrugged at her wrath. "Tell me about it," Lurantis agreed. "Men are definitely idiots at times."

Stunfisk's jaw dropped. "Wait, but aren't _you_ a man? Why are you agreeing?"

"Well," Lurantis said with a pout. "A few days ago, I would have disagreed with you. But just today, I saw some news about a male member on the show, and I am quite appalled by his behaviour." Lowering his voice as he spoke, his eyes glinted with delight as he watched the curiosity grow on Stunfisk's face.

"What happened?"

Lurantis glanced around him, before whispering. "You know Charizard, right?"

"Yeah."

"I heard that he betrayed his team on the very first challenge just so he could help out some girl on the other team."

Stunfisk raised her eyebrows. "He betrayed our team for some chick on the other team?" she echoed. "That _bastard_!"

"And I also heard that he is flirting with multiple girls at once."

"That _bastard!_ " Stunfisk exclaimed, her mouth gaping open in shock. "He is flirting with multiple girls and not once has he even bothered flirting with me!"

Lurantis inhaled dramatically. "Why, could it be that he doesn't think you're attractive enough for his attention?"

Stunfisk's face paled marginally. "That _bastard!_ "

"I know, right?" Lurantis emphatically conceded. "I'm sorry that you have to deal with him on your team. The fact that he betrayed your team… It's crazy."

Stunfisk was already sliding away, though, shaking her head hysterically as she murmured to herself.

"Men really _are_ bastards!"

 **0000**

 **Lurantis shook his head, grinning to himself. "Too easy."**

 **0000**

" _Hush little baby… You're almost dead..._ "

Mimikyu and Golisopod both faced Victreebel in the small, confined room, their backs pressed against the wall. Victreebel drew even closer, easing her way towards them.

"Hey, Victreebel," Golisopod greeted arrogantly, grinning as he saw Mimkyu shaking beside him.

Victreebel cocked her head to one side and sniffed at Golisopod and Mimikyu, her eyes scowling with confusion. Then, without warning, she flung herself towards Golisopod.

Her vines wrapped tightly around Golisopod's throat, but Golisopod was keeping his calm, as though the vines around his windpipe were merely a minor annoyance. He flinched a little as the vines clenched around his throat, and tried to reach out to claw at the grass-type.

Realising that the vines around him were gripped too tightly onto him, Golisopod felt heat begin to flush his face as he panicked.

"Mimikyu! Help!" he managed to gasp through ragged breaths.

The small Pokémon, still huddled in a ball towards the side, widened her eyes. "Erm… _How_?"

"Find the button!" Just as he spoke, he managed to break free from Victreebel's grasp. Clutching onto the vines, Golisopod grinned menacingly at the grass-type, who was flailing wildly when she saw that her vines were no longer under her control. She screeched with frustration and lashed out at Golisopod, to no avail. Landing a powerful blow onto the Victreebel, Golisopod watched with relief as the grass-type fell to the ground, exhausted and breathless.

Golisopod wiped the dust from his hands. "Does that mean I win?"

" _You don't have a pulse… Your pillow is red..._ "

Suddenly, Victreebel had leapt up from the ground, her jaws wide open. Before Golisopod could react, the plant had swallowed him whole, tumbling him in her mouth.

"Mimikyu!" Golisopod called out from inside the Victreebel's mouth. "Get us out of here!"

Dumbfounded, Mimikyu gaped at the Victreebel. "But… how?"

"Find the freaking _button_!" he repeated once again.

Mimikyu, startled, began to rush towards the back wall, where there was a plethora of buttons edging out from each metallic tile. There were hundreds of buttons, many of which were rusty and broken. Blinking quickly, she found a large, red button covered by a glass dome. Quivering in her spot, she turned to speak to Golisopod, who was still trapped within Victreebel's mouth.

"Is it this button?"

"Just get on with it!"

Taking a deep breath, Mimikyu reached out and smashed the glass dome, watching helplessly as glass shards scattered around her feet. Hastily, she began pushing the button.

The button was not working.

She tried pushing it again, then she tried pulling it and even tried punching it; but the button was completely stuck, not daring to budge under Mimikyu's grasp.

"It's broken!" Mimikyu called out, but Golisopod was too busy being chewed within the bristling Victreebel's mouth to respond.

To Mimikyu's horror, her eyes flicked upwards to see that Victreebel had begun approaching her at a considerable speed.

"Think," she murmured to herself. "What do I do? It's just a button. What is beneath the button is what matters." She stared at the button, and her eyes widened with surprise as her orbs settled on the brass ring that fastened around the red plastic of the button. Perhaps if she twisted it, just like she twisted the tuning pegs on her guitar…

Mimikyu turned the button clockwise; nothing. She tried once again, twisting it anticlockwise, and the button suddenly unscrewed into her hand. A second later, the brass ring was removed and she yanked the faulty button from its hole, revealing a metal strip beneath it.

"I think I've found the teleportation strip!" she chirped excitedly.

"Well, push the blasted thing then!" Golisopod roared from inside the Victreebel's mouth. Without a moment of delay, Mimikyu pressed her hand against the strip, closing her eyes as she shoved the strip down with all her might.

When she opened her eyes, she found that she was no longer within metallic room. Rather, she was outside the forest, standing in front of all the other contestants who were gaping at her in surprise. Golisopod had also suddenly appeared, in a less impressive state than her; the arthropod was lying against the ground, his body coated with the saliva from Victreebel's mouth. To Mimikyu's relief, Victreebel was nowhere in sight.

Shaymin, her expression scrunched with confusion, finally spoke.

"Well," she began. "It looks like Mimikyu got to the button before Golisopod, and teleported them out of there! Which means that she earned a point for the Killer Kyogres!"

 **0000**

" **Fuck my life," Golisopod groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I got beaten by Mimikyu."**

 **0000**

"The next challenge will be a cooking challenge!" Shaymin announced. "Two Pokémon from each team will pair up to make a cake for Espeon, and she will do a blind taste test. Whichever cake she likes the most- or, er, whichever one doesn't poison her - wins!"

Espeon gave the contestants a pointed look. "I swear to Arceus, if anyone poisons me, I will make mashed potato pity them."

"Okay then," Shaymin wheezed, with a nervous laugh. "From the Kyogres, Banette and Magikarp will be cooking!"

Banette smiled tentatively at the fish, who was flopping nonchalantly against the ground.

"And from the Groudons, Incineroar will be cooking-"

His eyes widening, Incineroar spat at Shaymin. "Me? _Cooking_?"

"With Lycanroc!" Shaymin finished, grinning mischievously at the feline Pokémon.

"WHERE ARE THE MEAT BICYCLES?" Lycanroc burst out excitedly, leaping to stand beside Incineroar. The fire-type looked less than impressed.

Shaking his head, Incineroar glared at Lycanroc. "No. I am not cooking with this lunatic."

"Yes, you are," Shaymin retorted.

Incineroar sighed. "Well, it's not like it can get any worse."

"Also," Shaymin suddenly added. "You guys get these amazing pink, frilly aprons to wear while you cook!"

 **0000**

 **Incineroar held up the frilly, pink apron to the camera, clawing at the silky and feminine material. "You have** _ **got**_ **to be kidding me."**

 **0000**

"Poddie? _Poddie_? Are you awake?"

Rubbing his eyes, Golisopod woke up, succumbing to the persistent nudges at his side. As his eyes continuously dwindled themselves shut, he finally mustered the strength to resist the seduction of sleep and propped himself onto his elbows.

To his disgust, he was coated in Vitreebel's saliva. Rubbing his temples, the memory of what had happened zipped back into his head and he groaned. "Ugh. Mimikyu pressed the button, and I was knocked unconscious after being teleported from Victreebel's mouth. Shit."

"Poddie?"

Turning his head to the side, Golisopod's eyes widened to see that Dragonite was kneeling beside him, his orbs wide with concern. "Dragonite?" Golisopod asked, baffled.

"I wanted to make sure Poddie was okay," Dragonite chirped, patting Golisopod gently on the head.

"I'm fine," Golisopod stated, sitting himself up so he could face Dragonite properly. "Um, thanks for checking up on me."

"It's okay, Poddie!"

Golisopod rubbed his head awkwardly, before adding, "And um, last challenge, thanks for saving me from Victreebel. I don't know why you did it, man, but I appreciate it."

"Anything for Poddie!" Dragonite exclaimed.

"Lord Magikarp is really lucky to have you as a follower," Golisopod remarked, completely astonished by the absurdity of the dragon beside him.

Dragonite, in response, hissed. "Magikarp is a _meanie_!"

"O-kay, then."

* * *

Shaymin grinned excitedly at her cast. "Now, one thing we all know that Espeon isn't all that into is Pokémon that speak a lot. So we've used that idea for the next challenge! A pair of Pokémon from each team will be put into a room together, and whichever pair manages to sustain a conversation the longest, with no gaps whatsoever, will win a point for their team."

"Ribombee and I can do it," Jigglypuff volunteered, smiling graciously at her friend. Timidly, he nodded back.

"Yeah. We m-make a good team."

Bouncing on her feet, their host turned to face them. "Good, we have the Kyogres sorted out already. Groudons?"

"I'll do it," Vespiquen calmly stated, raising her hand. "All we have to do is talk. How hard can that be?"

Charizard nodded in agreement. "I'll join her," he offered gruffly, folding his arms.

 **0000**

 **Shrugging, Charizard slumped his shoulders. "I don't like talking much, but anything is better than having to withstand Victreebel and her poetry."**

 **0000**

The two pairs were led into two small rooms by Bellossom, who was murmuring words of encouragement to all four competitors. Meanwhile, Shaymin had begun rattling away to her remaining contestants. "We will also have a painting competition. Two Pokémon have to try painting Espeon with their eyes closed. Luckily, they will have a partner to instruct them while they have their eyes closed."

"I'll do it," Zoroark proffered with a brief shrug.

"Great!" Shaymin exclaimed. "You can paint with your eyes closed, while Musharna guides you."

Zoroark's eyes widened. "Wait, but she's always sleeping-"

"And the Groudons will have Shroomish as their painter and Noctowl as the instructor."

"But I don't even have arms!" Shroomish insisted, but his protests were waved away by the host.

"Get creative!"

Zoroark turned to face her partner, and to her dismay, Musharna was fast asleep, saliva beginning to drool out from her mouth.

 **0000**

" **Shaymin just** _ **loves**_ **to fuck shit up, doesn't she?" Zoroark asked dryly, her eyes locked endearingly with the camera.**

 **0000**

"We are _not_ buying Espeon a fire extinguisher."

"But-"

"No buts!"

Luxio pouted at Garchomp's defiant gaze. "But _everyone_ needs a fire extinguisher!"

"I beg to differ," Lurantis quickly refuted, sensing the rage beginning to bubble inside Garchomp. "You think a fire extinguisher is important because you're an inventor of sorts, Luxio. Espeon, on the other hand, is unlikely to set things on fire."

Garchomp released a sigh of relief. "Exactly!"

"But my girl translator is telling me that a fire extinguisher is exactly what a girl like Espeon wants," Luxio argued, gesturing at the small, metallic device in his hand. As soon as he smacked it with his paw, though, the device exploded, causing blazing sparks to consume the device.

The flame began to spread rapidly in the shop, the hot bursts of energy forcing many customers out of the door. Lurantis snarled as a fire barricaded his path to the door, then turned to hiss fiercely at Luxio.

"Luxio! The fire extinguisher!"

Nodding desperately, Luxio began leaping towards the fire extinguisher, pushing his paw on the lever. The foam spat out of the nozzle, submerging the flames. As the room was filled with the frothy substance, Luxio grinned cheerfully.

"See, guys?" Luxio asked. "Fire extinguishers are important- hey!" The electric-type yelled in surprise as he felt a hand pull at his ear. Turning to the side, he saw a rather ferocious looking Kecleon glaring at him.

"Get outta my store!"

Without another word, the Kecleon threw Luxio out of the building, with Garchomp and Lurantis close behind him. The three Kyogres exchanged glances as the door slammed shut behind them.

"So I guess we're keeping the fire extinguisher?" Luxio asked sheepishly, pointing at the extinguisher that was still beneath his paws.

Garchomp and Lurantis glared at him.

 **0000**

" **Let's just say that the three of us didn't exactly kick off to a good start," Luxio drawled carefully, hesitating before each word. "Kecleon told all the other store owners to keep us away, so we weren't allowed into any other stores. So… I guess Espeon will be getting a fire extinguisher!"**

 **0000**

"Musharna? Am I painting this right?" Zoroark asked impatiently, as she blindly stroked the canvas with her paintbrush. With the blindfold obstructing her eyesight, she had no idea what she was painting at all; especially since her partner, who was supposed to be directing her, was snoring gently behind her.

"Musharna! Wake _up_!"

The psychic Pokémon, floating in midair, allowed her eyelids to flutter slightly. "Huh…? Zoroark…?"

"Finally. Can you please stay awake?"

"No… I don't like cornflakes…"

Zoroark dropped her paintbrush momentarily, sighing in frustration. " _Musharna_! I said- wait, what do you mean you don't like cornflakes?!"

* * *

"I swear to freaking Arceus, if you yell about meat bicycles one more time-" Incineroar threatened, but his warning was interrupted by Lycanroc.

"I AM THE CONDUCTOR OF THE MEAT TRAIN!"

Incineroar sighed heavily. He hated this challenge; he had thrown some random ingredients into the cake mixture, but with Lycanroc screaming hysterically beside him, he didn't know how much longer he could restrain himself from burning his partner. The fact that he was wearing a frilly, hot pink apron was not aiding his patience.

"For the last time," Incineroar began, hissing fiercely at the wolf. "There is no such thing as a meat train."

Lycanroc narrowed his eyes suspiciously, before laughing boisterously. "Meat! Train! Meat! Train!" The wolf reached out for a bag of sugar and poured it all onto Incineroar. The fire-type Pokémon, blinking away the grains of sugar, snarled.

"I'm getting you back for this!"

Snatching up some eggs from the table, Incineroar chucked them at Lycanroc, growling every time an egg landed on the ground. Lycanroc, even more delighted by the action, grabbed all the remaining ingredients - flour, butter, milk - and began tossing them at Incineroar mercilessly.

Seeing a large tub of butter incoming at his face, Incineroar grabbed the bowl of cake batter and watched with relief as the slab of butter slammed into the bowl. Suddenly, an idea came into Incineroar's mind.

"Keep throwing those ingredients, Lycanroc!" He taunted. "You'll never catch me!"

Lycanroc, intrigued by the challenge, grabbed onto the remaining ingredients, shrieking, "Meat! Bicycle!" As he threw each ingredient, Incineroar reached out and caught them with the bowl, regularly stirring the mixture whenever the batter was about to overflow from the dish. After Lycanroc had run out of ingredients to throw, they both leaned against the counter, exhausted.

Taking one final glance at the slurpy cake batter in the bowl, Incineroar shrugged and threw it into the oven.

 **0000**

" **Look," Incineroar huffed. "I don't know how to make cake, or what ingredients to use. So whatever Lycanroc threw in there is probably better than anything I could ever try to make."**

 **A small grin began to spread on his face.**

" **Besides… That was some good exercise."**

 **0000**

Meanwhile, Banette and Magikarp were cooking on the other end of the kitchen at a much calmer state.

"Now, Banette, add the sugar," Magikarp instructed. Banette, though a little hesitant and dumbfounded by the dominating yet warm hue of the Magikarp's voice, complied to his instructions.

"Vanila e-essence, too?"

"Yes."

"The whole c-cup, right?"

"Yes- wait, no-"

It was too late, though; Banette had accidentally emptied out the entire bottle of vanilla essence into the cake batter. Her eyes wide with horror, she gaped at the Magikarp. "Um… Now what?"

Magikarp shrugged. "It doesn't matter. From what we could see, Lycanroc and Incineroar made a bigger mess than us. We should be fine. It'll simply be more vanillery than usual."

"I… I sure h-hope so!" Banette quipped, before placing the batter into the oven.

* * *

"Absol, you need to hurry up," Krokorok advised gently. "Otherwise we'll miss the boat back to the island."

The dark-type Pokémon bit his lip nervously. "Sorry! I just… Need to make sure that the gift is, you know, perfect."

He, Krokorok and Gastly were standing amongst an array of bedazzling jewels, all different shapes, sizes and colours. Each colour seemed to correlate with a Pokémon type, and Absol had his eyes set on the dark-type gem, which radiated a mysterious aura.

"Okay," Absol finally decided. "Let's get her the black gem."

Gastly leaned forwards, examining the jewel closely. "Are you s-sure? I thought Espeon hated dark-types!"

"She does," Absol answered with a shrug. "But I'm sure this gem will teach her that even dark-types have a sense of beauty." He knelt down to look at the price-tag, and his jaw dropped immediately.

Gastly, watching Absol's horrified expression, began to tremble in the air. "What's w-wrong?"

"It costs millions! And we only have a $2 budget!"

Krokorok eyed his team members slyly. "Don't worry. I… I think I can handle this."

Subtlety, he allowed his tail to edge closer to the jewel, until the tip of his tail had wrapped carefully around the black diamond. With a sense of urgency, the tail whipped the jewel into the air and Krokorok reached out and caught it with a swift and fluid motion.

Absol and Gastly watched in wonder and amazement as Krokorok clasped the jewel in his hands. "Let's go," Krokorok whispered urgently, gesturing towards the door. As they reached the door, however, the security scanner alarms started to ring when Krokorok passed by them.

"THEFT ALERT. THEFT ALERT. THEFT ALERT."

Deafened by the blaring sirens, the three boys exchanged alarmed expressions as they rushed out of the shop, with a furious Kecleon trailing behind them.

"Come back, you thieves!" The Kecleon shrieked, rushing forward on his stubby legs.

" _Run!_ " Absol called out, with Gastly and Krokorok sprinting beside him. They ran towards the docks, where they could see their boat amongst the horizon. Leaping onto the boat, Absol yelled at the pilot of the ship to begin travelling right away.

To Absol's relief, Krokrok and Gastly had managed to hop onboard in time for the boat to leave, and Kecleon, though fast, had just missed his chance.

"Do you guys still have the gem?" Absol asked, glancing nervously at Krokrok.

With a grin, Krokorok unclasped his hands to reveal the enigmatic, black jewel.

Absol, overwhelmed with relief, sunk onto the floor. "Thank _Arceus_."

 **0000**

" **I know it's ambitious, but I** _ **really**_ **want Espeon to see that there's so much more behind the surface of a dark-type," Absol sighed. "There is always something behind the surface."**

 **0000**

"So… Um… What are we supposed to talk about?" Charizard asked awkwardly. He and Vespiquen had only been in the room for a minute, and already, their voices had drifted into silence; which was a problem, seeing as the point of the challenge was to sustain a conversation for as long as possible.

Vespiquen lightly shrugged her shoulders. "Let's see… Why did you join the show in the first place?"

"I'd rather not share," Charizard quickly snapped, his features darkening with suspicion. Seeing the startled expression on Vespiquen's face, he added, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just would rather not talk about it."

"It's fine," Vespiquen graciously responded, her head nodding with understanding. "May I share my reason for joining, simply for the sake of maintaining conversation?"

"Of course."

Vespiquen smiled gratefully. "Well, my hive - my home - is beginning to decay. I figured that, with the money, I could restore the forest and provide support for all the Pokémon who are losing their homes to the decay."

"That's very nice of you," Charizard remarked.

With another beaming smile, Vespiquen responded gently, "Thank you. I must be truthful, though, I'm not sure what else I should talk about. What is something that you enjoy to talk about?"

"Garchomp."

"Huh?"

Charizard nearly smacked himself; he felt like a fool for being so awkward. Truth was, he hardly spoke to anyone apart from Garchomp, and ever since his past few encounters with Lurantis, all he could think about was how Garchomp was faring.

"Oh," Charizard hastily began. "I meant that-"

Vespiquen giggled slightly. "Oh, Charizard. Even a blind Pokémon could see that you're in love with her."

"But… How?"

"Well," Vespiquen began, her grin becoming somewhat amused. "You're always looking at her, and as soon as you mentioned her name, your cheeks went pink."

"My cheeks did _not_ go pink."

"Yes, they did," the bee smirked. "It's certainly not everyday you see a Charizard blush! I can't way to tell the rest of my hive."

Charizard waved away her laughter. "Oh, shut up."

"I can't do that," Vespiquen protested gently. "That goes against the point of this challenge; which is to talk as much as possible."

"You are seriously beginning to annoy me."

Vespiquen leaned forward, smiling merrily. "Doesn't matter. We're going to win this challenge, and to do that, you're going to tell me about Garchomp."

 **0000**

" **Charizard is a great friend; he is really good at listening," Vespiquen stated, before squealing excitedly. "He is also** _ **so cute**_ **when he talks about Garchomp! His face just brightens up, and it's really sweet to look at!"**

 **0000**

"Stay awake, Musharna!"

"Huh?"

Zoroark nearly flipped the canvas on which she was painting on. She had to find some way to keep Musharna awake, otherwise there was no hope of her blindly painting anything that resembled Espeon.

"So…" Zoroark started, her head reeling for good conversation starters. "What do you usually dream about?"

"Um… I don't remember…"

Already, Zoroark could hear Musharna's delicate voice softening as she drifted off into slumber. "I hate it when that happens!" Zoroark suddenly exclaimed, hoping that her loud remark would keep Musharna awake. "I wake up and _bam_! The dream is gone."

This certainly caught Musharna's attention. "The dream is not gone. The dream is still there; it merely waits for your return."

"Oh," Zoroark managed to say, her eyes wide behind the blindfold. Even she had not expected Musharna to speak so philosophically about, well, dreams. "So, how is the painting going? Which way is the ear?"

Musharna sighed. "To the left…"

"Okay. Is this right?" Zoroark asked, guiding her hand towards the left as she roughly painted the canvas.

"Just dream, Zoroark… Dream of Espeon… Draw what you dream… Even dreams can become reality…"

Zoroark furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. What was Musharna ranting on about? "Um… Who would even dream about someone like Espon?"

She was answered by a gentle snooze.

Cursing to herself mentally, Zoroark glared in front of her, as if she could burn her blindfold by simply glaring through them. She closed her eyes, deciding to follow the psychic-type's advice. Envisioning Espeon in her mind, Zoroark allowed her arm to wander in correlation to the image in her head, stroking her paint-brush gently against the paper.

"Musharna? Am I doing this right?"

"Huh…? Goodnight to you too…"

"Goddammit, Musharna!"

* * *

"So, all we have to do is talk, right?" Jigglypuff asked Ribombee. "That's easy! I'm great at talking!"

Ribombee smiled shyly at her. "You're good at everything, Jigglypuff."

"Aww, shucks! You're too nice. You're good at lots of things too, you know."

"Um…" Ribombee looked down at his feet. "Yeah. I'm good at being bad at starting conversations, being socially awkward, um… I'm also good at being bad at making friends…"

Jigglypuff rolled her eyes, before reaching out to hold Ribombee's hand. "Hey, don't be so hard on yourself! We'll find your hidden talent. Maybe it's, I dunno, juggling."

Slumping against the wall, Ribombee bit his lip doubtfully. "I dunno…"

"Wait a minute!" Jigglypuff suddenly gasped excitedly. "You know this competition said we had to keep talking, no stops?"

"Yeah…"

"It never said we had to talk about anything _meaningful_."

Rimbombee nervously scanned Jigglypuff's optimistic expression. "So…?"

"We can just keep yelling compliments at each other all day long! That way, I can boost your self-esteem up a bit, and you can break out of your shell a bit!"

"You're going to run out of compliments for me within seconds," Ribombee pointed out, a sad smile stretching across his face.

Jigglypuff winked at him. "Why, is that a challenge?"

"I suppose it is?"

"Well, then. Ribombee, you're cute!"

"Yeah? Well... you're even more cute!"

"But you're _adorable_!"

"You're adorable too, but you're also nice and kind and funny and sweet!" Ribombee burst out, the tension in his body beginning to loosen as he and Jigglypuff grinned at each other.

 **0000**

 **Ribombee glanced down at his hands, nervously wringing them around. "I have to admit… Jigglypuff is kinda cute."**

 **0000**

"We had a bunch of crooks come into our house and murder our parents, before robbing the house bare. Only Garchomp and I had survived, and so we moved out together. I swore to her that I would protect her, no matter what the cost. She somehow persuaded me to join this show, so we could get some money for ourselves to live in better conditions."

Vespiquen, her mouth agape with pity, reached out to pat Charizard. "Oh, that's just terrible. I'm so very, very sorry for your family. I hope you and Garchomp manage to get very far in this competition."

"As do I."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

They both looked away awkwardly, unsure of how to continue from there.

"Charizard and Vespiquen! You've both stopped talking, and therefore, you guys lose!" Shaymin called out from outside the room, before throwing open the door. "Seriously, guys, you should know that it's not easy to continue a conversation once dead parents have been brought up."

 **0000**

 **Shaking his head exasperatedly, Charizard sighed. "Shaymin has to be the most unprofessional, annoying, and obnoxious host out there. Honestly."**

 **0000**

Meanwhile, Ribombee and Jigglypuff were still busy complimenting each other.

"You should be the queen of the world," Ribombee praised. "Everyone would love you!"

Jigglypuff flushed. "Well… You've got a really cute forehead!"

"Your soap smells really nice."

"You are number one."

Shaymin, without warning, burst into their room. "Ribombee and Jigglypuff, you guys managed to sustain your conversation - well, whatever it was - for longer than Charizard and Vespiquen. You guys win a point for the Killer Kyogres, which means that your team is on two points and the Groudons are still on zero."

Ribombee reached out to high-five Jigglypuff. "The only reason we won was because of you, Jigglypuff," Ribombee acclaimed.

"Oh, you're too cute," Jigglypuff gasped, completely flustered by the flattery.

Shaymin rolled her eyes at them. "Right. Anyways. Time for Round Two of the 'Don't Stop Talking' competition: Froslass and Stunfisk are a pair, against Primarina and Pancham."

 **0000**

 **Froslass winced at the camera. "I swear to Arceus, if Stunfisk spends the entire time talking about her so-called 'beauty' or about bastardous men, I think I might just save my mind from combusting and withdraw from this challenge."**

 **0000**

Her breaths shallow, Salazzle sat beneath a tree, wiping away the sweat from her forehead. She had been fleeing from the Egg brothers for the past hour or so, and she was exhausted. Just as she planned on padding away to find a new hiding spot, a sinister voice called out from the shadows.

"Oh, would you look at who it is?"

"W-who is it, T-tor?"

"It's Salazzle, you buffoon!"

"Tor, calm down. Egg, chill. We have to be subtle if we plan on catching her-"

Salazzle watched with an eyebrow arched as the Egg Brothers staggered towards her, Tor's eyes hungrily fixed on her. "There's no escape now, Salazzle," he scowled as he approached her.

The Egg Brothers cornered Salazzle at the tree, each of them speaking to her wildly.

"You're dead now."

"Tor, that is an exaggeration. Now, please Salazzle, if you could kindly just tell us Espeon's secret-"

"G-guys! She looks angry!"

Hearing the unintelligible scramble of words, a flash of anger sparked within Salazzle. "Will you guys just _shut up_?"

Tor, his smirk quickly vanishing from his face, moved in towards Salazzle. Just as he did, Salazzle raised her leg high and stamped down hard on one of the Egg Brother's feet, simultaneously bolting away.

" _Fuck_!" Tor hissed, scowling as he checked his foot. "She's getting away!"

* * *

Her eyes wide with horror, Espeon poked the cake in front of her with her paws suspiciously. "Is this even edible?"

In front of her were two cakes, vastly different in appearance. One looked like a traditional white cake, with luscious pink icing and sprinkles scattered all over it. On the other hand, the second cake seemed to be a pigsty, with raw batter streaming from the corner. Espeon's nose crinkled as she saw an egg yolk ooze out of the small hole her paw had made in the cake.

"Gross," she hissed, her voice cold with disgust.

Shaymin grinned enthusiastically with her. "Well, you have to taste both of them and tell us which one you liked best!"

Magikarp, Banette, Incineroar and Lycanroc all stood to the side, eagerly awaiting for her to have the first bite. Still adorned in his frilly pink apron, Incineroar bit his lip with apprehension as he saw Espeon stab at the cake he had made. Worse yet, the cake that Magikarp and Banette had made was seemingly perfect, aside from the strong essence of vanilla that itched at his nostrils.

"I'll start with the good one," Espeon stated, moving towards the rather glamorous looking cake, sniffing it carefully. Carefully, she reached out and took a bite, chewing it slowly in her mouth at an agonisingly slow pace. After swallowing the small bite of moist cake, she nodded slowly.

"It's okay," she finally remarked. "A bit too much vanilla."

Banette shot Magikarp a guilty look, but remained silent.

"Don't worry," Magikarp assured her. "A bit too much vanilla is nothing to that… _thing_ that the other team has made." He gestured to the other cake, the one glazed with raw batter. After a moment, he even spotted sprinkles of egg shells over the icing.

Despite the awful look, Espeon closed her eyes, knelt down and took a small nibble of the cake. Within seconds, her eyes snapped open, her jaw dropping with shock.

Shaymin snorted. "Looks like it tastes just as bad as it looks-"

"I _love_ it."

" _What_?" Shaymin exclaimed incredulously, glancing at Espeon curiously. "But… there are egg shells-"

Espeon shook her head, her eyes bright with wonder. "They just add crunchiness to the texture!"

"But the uncooked batter…"

"It just makes the cake melt in your mouth!"

Shaymin pulled at her fur. "But-"

"This cake is the winner," Espeon declared adamantly, taking another large bite at the cake. With her mouth full, she murmured, "It's delicious!"

"Alright," Shaymin sighed, blinking with bewilderment. "I guess that means the Guzzling Groudons win a point, because Lycanroc and Incineroar had made that cake."

Espeon winked at Incineroar and Lycanroc, before stuffing her face into the cake and chewing greedily. "Well done guys. I loved it!"

 **0000**

" **I hated it!" Espeon growled, spitting out the remaining bits of cake from her mouth. "That cake was disgusting. I don't think you could even call it a cake."**

 **Wiping the remaining bits of crumbs from her mouth, she huffed. "I guess sacrifices have to be made, though. I knew instantly that a cake that disgusting could only have been made by Lycanroc, so I pretended that it was nice; so our team could get a point." She took one last swipe at her mouth.**

" **And how did they manage to get egg shells in a cake?!"**

 **0000**

"Our next challenge will be a quick game of two truths and one lie," Shaymin chimed, watching with amusement as the cakes were carried away by Bellossom. "The two competitors will be Dragonite and Buneary. Espeon will tell us two truths and one lie, and they must guess which one is the lie. Ready, Espeon?"

Frowning deeply, Espeon shrugged. "Sure."

Buneary and Dragonite both moved forward, their eyes wide with anticipation.

"Okay," Espeon began, a wicked flash in her eyes. "I like milkshakes, I can't stand doorknobs that are out of my reach and… I am a worshipper of Lord Magikarp."

Shaymin face-palmed. "Espeon! That's _obvious_. Couldn't you make it just a little bit more challenging-"

"She doesn't like milkshakes! That's the lie!" Dragonite exclaimed, jumping excitedly in his seat. "Of course she worships Lord Magikarp. Everyone does!" The dragon-type suddenly frowned. "Except me. Magikarp is a _meanie_."

Completely bewildered by the mood-swing that Dragonite was experiencing, Buneary twitched her eye before asking, "Um… Is the last one - the one about worshipping Lord Magikarp - the lie?"

"Yes, Buneary!" Espeon burst out excitedly. "Sorry, Shaymin. Looks like Buneary won for the Groudons."

After shaking her head with bafflement, Shaymin finally sighed. "Fine. Looks like both teams are on two points!"

* * *

"Arrgm ahh oooing ish rrigfhr?"

Noctowl blinked at Shroomish, who was currently looking absolutely ridiculous. The small Pokémon had half of his face masked by a blindfold, his mouth pursed forward so that he could bite the paintbrush. Without arms, the poor mushroom spent the entire challenge painting with the brush in his mouth, moving his body back and forth and leaping up and down to cover the entire canvas.

"Um…." Noctowl drawled hesitantly. "Yeah, um, sort of. We just need the red gem on the top of her head."

Shroomish nodded determinedly, spitting out the paintbrush from his mouth temporarily. "Okay. How high do I need to jump?"

"To the very top of the canvas, Shroomish," Noctowl told him, her face crumpling with sympathy.

"Shit."

"Don't worry!" Noctowl hastily added. "You can do it. I mean, you've sort of jumped just as high when you did her… eye. Yes, that looks a bit like an eye."

"But I haven't draw the eyes yet!"

Noctowl's eyes widened. "Wait, then what are those blue-ish things?"

"Her ears! Wait, I painted them _blue_?"

Frowning worriedly, Noctowl took one final glance at the painting. It was a blob of pink, with blue strokes randomly scattered across it. A giant red gash of paint stuck out from the centre of the page, and if Noctowl didn't know any better, she would have thought it was an abstract picture of Espeon dying.

Shroomish, sensing Noctowl's worry, sighed. "Welp. We're screwed."

 **0000**

" **Wearing the blindfold was awful," Shroomish grunted. "I think I have found a new respect for blind Pokémon. Like, honestly. How do they paint pictures? How do they know when to stop wiping their asses after using the toilet?"**

 **0000**

Her eyes twitching with distaste, Espeon eyed the presents beside her carefully.

"Well, Espeon?" Shaymin asked, clucking her tongue with impatience. "Choose which present you like more. You don't have all day, you know."

Scowling, the psychic Pokémon ignored the host. To the left of her paw was a fire extinguisher, completely smothered with foam and fragments of crumpled wrapping paper. To her right was a beautiful, exquisite black jewel, glistening in the sunlight. It was quite conspicuous which one she should pick; the black jewel was obviously from her own team mate, Absol, and it was a much more beautiful and expensive gift.

But Espeon was not a fan of dark-types, nor did she have any interest in their jewellery.

"I choose the fire extinguisher," Espeon stated curtly, rolling the extinguisher towards herself.

Absol's jaw dropped. " _What_?"

"See?" Luxio exclaimed excitedly, turning to face Garchomp and Lurantis with a large grin plastered onto his face. "You can never go wrong with a fire extinguisher!"

"But… _why_?" Garchomp asked, mystified. "Not that I'm complaining, but a fire extinguisher is a shitty gift."

Espeon shrugged, giving the ground a hard look. Seeing as she was not going to answer, Shaymin cleared her throat.

"Well, then," the host managed to stammer. "I guess that means that a point goes to the Kyogres! And as for the dark-type jewel, well, I suppose we can just throw that away-"

"No," Espeon interrupted sharply. "They obviously went through lots of effort to retrieve that jewel. Don't discard it. I'll, um, keep it for now. Or give it to someone else. Don't throw it."

Everyone raised their eyebrow at her sudden shift in demeanour, the way she seemed to be nervously watching her own paws. The only Pokémon that didn't seem entirely surprised was Absol, who was grinning ear to ear in his spot.

 **0000**

" **She may have chosen a fire extinguisher over the black gem," Absol pointed out. "But at least she didn't trash the gem. Right?"**

 **0000**

"Seriously, guys, this has got to be the most dodgy birthday I've ever had."

"You don't say," Zoroark retorted dryly, an amused smile lighting up her face.

Rather than presents, Espeon was face to face with two different portraits of herself. She examined them both closely, her nose scrunched up with disgust. "Seriously. One of them looks like an extremely abstract painting of me, and the other one looks like a crime scene where I'm both the victim and the murderer."

"To be fair," Jigglypuff reasoned. "The painters had blindfolds on!"

"Whatever," Espeon snapped, before gesturing to one of the paintings. "I pick the abstract one, not the crime scene one." She turned to the four Pokémon who had participated in the painting challenge, watching to see which of the four reacted. Shroomish and Noctowl exchanged sheepish but disappointed glances, while Zoroark reached over to high-five Musharna.

"Musharna!" Zoroark cheered. "Did you hear that? We won. The whole 'dream about Espeon and draw' thing worked."

Musharna blinked her eyes open. "Huh…?"

"We _won_."

"No… I'm not a fan of Ron…."

Zoroark rolled her eyes, still grinning. "You know what? It doesn't matter."

"Great!" Shaymin called out. "That means the Kyogres are on four points, and the Groudons are on two points. If the Kyogres get one more point, they automatically win!"

* * *

Luxio lay in the grass, tinkering with several objects in his paws. Beside him was Krokorok, who was watching lazily as his tail searched about, quivering excitedly as it approached one of Luxio's screws.

"Hey!" Luxio yelped as the tail snatched away a gadget from his paws. "Give that back!"

Sighing heavily, Krokorok reached out and grabbed ahold of his tail, prying the metallic device from its grasp. "Sorry, Luxio. I didn't mean to. My tail, you know-"

Luxio, smiling warmly, shook his head. "No worries, buddy. That's why I'm making this for you." Retrieving the item from Krokorok's tail, he gestured at the heap of items beneath his paws. "It's almost finished. It's just missing one thing; I'm not sure what it's missing, though."

"How exactly does it work?" Krokorok asked dubiously, eyeing the compilation of metallic objects quizzically.

"All you have to do is attach this small thing to your tail," Luxio explained, gesturing at a tiny, round device. "It should help you control the tail."

"And what is it missing?"

Luxio frowned. "I'm not sure. It needs something to work as its nucleus, but I have no idea what that something is. You know, the controlling head of the device."

"Okay," Krokorok mustered, perplexed. "Er, thanks for helping."

"So why exactly were you so desperate for this?" Luxio piped up, not removing his eyes from the device in his paws.

Krokorok folded his arms. "I was not _desperate_."

"I dunno about that. I don't need a machine to recognise desperation." Upon seeing Krokorok's curious gaze, Luxio continued, "I'm an inventor. I've been desperate to finish off projects plenty of times, and finding that final missing piece always drives me mad. I know exactly what hysterical desperation looks like, no matter how hard you try to hide it."

Nodding his head slowly, Krokorok finally slumped on the grass beside the inventor. "Well, I've been diagnosed with Kleptomania since I was seven. Ever since then, my tail has been stealing items from innocent strangers, and has been keeping it in this compartment of treasures. I always tried to return the stolen items, but my tail would just keep stealing more."

"Yikes. The struggle is real."

"Yeah," Krokorok agreed with a damp smile. "Finally, the media caught my tail doing a theft and posted an article about it. And you know the media; they made a bigger deal out of things than necessary, and made me sound like the head of some evil mafia. So my reputation just plummeted, and everyone just kept making fun of me."

Luxio nodded his head sympathetically. "I know what it's like to be teased. I've always been considered the odd one out, you know? I was always too curious, and I ended up pressing every button in my father's laboratory; so much that it all exploded. I survived the explosion, but it really sparked an interest in inventing for me."

"That's pretty cool," Krokorok said encouragingly, but Luxio only shook his head sadly.

"While it is my passion, I will admit that it has its downfalls."

"Like?"

Fidgeting with the objects in his hands, Luxio looked to the side. "Well, for one, my dad is disappointed in me. I don't think he likes my newly found passion."

"Well," Krokorok offered, patting the Luxio's back reassuringly. "I'm glad you found that passion. Otherwise I would still be a miserable kleptomaniac with no hope, and you just wouldn't be you."

Luxio nodded his head furiously. "Yeah! After all, the originals are worth much more than the copies."

"Don't tell that to Shaymin," Krokorok slyly murmured. "After all, isn't this show just a rip-off from the original?"

 **0000**

 **Shaymin glared at the camera. "I hate them. I hate them all."**

 **0000**

"Let me tell you right now, Froslass, men are _bastards_."

Froslass gave a silent prayer to Arceus, and closed her eyes momentarily before saying, "Yes, Stunfisk, you've already told me."

"And did I mention that Lucario called me _beastly_?"

"Yes."

"And did I tell you how it was the _male_ judge who told me I wasn't pretty enough for the Next Top Model?"

"Yes."

"And did I mentioned that Charizard betrayed our team?"

"Ye- wait, what?"

Stunfisk ignored Froslass. "And what about when-"

"Stop!" Froslass cried out exasperatedly. "Will you stop babbling for just a few seconds?"

Offended, Stunfisk snarled in a shrill voice. "Excuse me? The whole point of the challenge is to talk as much as possible!"

"Yes," Froslass affirmed. "But I want you to go back to your point about Charizard betraying the team."

A slow, tantalising grin spread up Stunfisk's face. "Oh, you want to hear the gossip, don't you?" Before Froslass had a chance to reply, Stunfisk rambled on, "Well, Charizard is one of those bastards apparently. He betrayed our team for the sake of another girl, you know! In the first challenge, he was so busy flirting that he just let the other girl, Garchomp, eat the berry - I hear she might have bargained him."

"With what?" Froslass asked, eyes wide.

Stunfisk winked. "What do all men want?"

"Oh, Arceus, _no_."

"Oh, Arceus, _yes_!" Stunfisk exclaimed, before dropping her voice back down again.

"He _didn't_."

"He _did_ ," Stunfisk refuted, shaking her head with disgust. "I can't believe it either. She bargained him with video-games; and he said yes! How disgusting."

Froslass furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Wait, video-games? That's not what I was thinking-"

"It gets _worse_!" Stunfisk interrupted, dismissing Froslass's protest. "I hear that Charizard is not only betraying our team for the girl on the other team, but he is also cheating on two girls at once: Vespiquen and Garchomp! And he's using Vespiquen to know our team tactics and things, so he can go and spill them to Garchomp!"

The ice-type Pokémon could only gape with surprise. " _What_?"

"Anyways," Stunfisk started, disregarding Froslass. "Did I tell you that Lucario called me _beastly_?"

 **0000**

 **Froslass nodded slowly, her face dazed with awe. "Damn. Stunfisk** _ **knows**_ **things."**

 **0000**

" **Okay, so I might have exaggerated just a** _ **little**_ **," Stunfisk confessed sheepishly.**

 **0000**

"I have an idea," Primarina chimed brightly. "Since we can't stop talking, how about you just list all of the terms and conditions that we were supposed to read before entering the competition? It'll help me remember them _and_ it'll pass time."

Pancham, completely thrilled by the idea, whipped out a scroll from his bag and crossed his legs as he seated himself onto the ground. "Brilliant idea! Hm… Let's see… Rule number one: do not insult the host. Rule number two: do not acknowledge that this show is a cheap rip-off of Mew's show."

"But it _is_ a cheap rip-off of Mew's show," Primarina protested.

 **0000**

" **I think I might have to start eliminating Pokémon myself," Shaymin offered with a deadpan. "Seriously? Is it** _ **that**_ **hard to just leave the host alone?!"**

 **0000**

"And _finally_ , rule one thousand, seven hundred and ninety seven: all contestants must restrain themselves from using capitals to speak, because that makes it rather annoying and difficult to read. Only use capitals for emphasis if it is necessary; otherwise, simply emphasise the drama by using italics."

Looking up from his manuscript, Pancham sighed to find that Primarina was fast asleep.

"Primarina?" he asked with a yawn, before curling up in the corner. "Actually, I'm exhausted too. We've been here for hours. Surely we've won the challenge; how can anyone talk for longer than the length I just spoke for?"

Another yawn seized the small Pokémon, and his eyes began to droop heavily.

"I think I'll just get a little shuteye…"

With that, the panda Pokémon dozed off into a deep sleep. Just as he had begun dreaming, though, a vehement voice snapped him awake.

"Wake up, Pancham and Primarina! You guys stopped talking and therefore, you _lose_!" Shaymin thundered.

Rubbing his eyes, Pancham yawned a protest. "But _how_? I listed all the terms and conditions; it must have taken five hours at _least_! No one could have maintained a conversation for that long!"

"You underestimate the power of Stunfisk and girl gossip."

"But- actually, okay. Fair enough."

Shaymin then peered into the neighbouring room, where Stunfisk was still boisterously jabbering away about all the bastardly men she had met.

"Froslass and Stunfisk, you guys have won a point for the Groudons!" Shaymin announced, but to her annoyance, Stunfisk completely ignored her and continued her spirited ramblings.

"Did I mention that he called me _beastly_?"

* * *

"Hey, Espeon!" Absol called out. "Wait up!"

Espeon stopped padding her way down the pathway, not bothering to turn around to face the Pokémon speaking to her. "What do you want _now_?"

"I…" Absol seemed at a loss for words. "I just wanted to say thank you."

"Thank you?" Espeon echoed, turning around slightly so she could see the dark-type Pokémon through her peripheral vision.

Absol grinned brightly. "Yeah! Even though you turned down the dark-type gem, you stopped Shaymin from throwing it away because you acknowledged our hard work. That was, well, really nice of you."

"That was a mistake," Espeon hissed. "A mistake that I will no doubt forgive myself for eventually."

Throwing her head forwards to face the front, she continued strolling down the path, leaving Absol frowning behind her.

"I honestly cannot work her out," he murmured to himself, before turning around and walking the opposite direction.

 **0000**

" **I cannot figure those Egg Brothers out," Salazzle hissed to herself. "I've tried everything! They can swim, run, climb buildings and they can even sniff me out!"**

 **0000**

Salazzle was exhausted from all the running she had done. No matter how well she had hidden, no matter what trick she had used, the Egg Brothers always found her. Her chest tight and her legs aching from the chase, she climbed up a ladder hastily, hoping that she would be high enough and out of sight atop the building she was scaling.

"We see you, Salazzle."

Cursing to herself, the reptile glanced up to find that the Egg Brothers were already on the roof of the building she had been climbing.

"How?" she scowled at them, but her question was dismissed.

"Tell us Espeon's secret. Otherwise we will kill you," Tor threatened, leaning down from the roof to glare at her.

Ex gave his brother a tentative look. "Don't _kill_ her. Just wound her; she's worth nothing if she can't talk."

"Y-yeah!" Egg agreed hesitantly. "We n-need Espeons s-s-secret after all!"

But Tor wasn't listening; rather, he had already started developing a Solar Beam, aiming it straight towards Salazzle. In response, Salazzle snarled, her mind tumultuous as she tried to think of an escape. If the Solar Beam hit her, it was likely she would not be knocked unconscious, but she was sure to lose her grip on the ladder. If she were to fall from such a great height, she was sure to be knocked out.

Suddenly, a sly grin began to slide lopsidedly onto her face. It didn't matter if she was knocked unconscious; her only task was to keep Espeon's secret away from the Egg Brothers. Closing her eyes, she began to inhale deeply.

"We want the secret," Tor barked, the Solar Beam alarmingly buzzing with power as it just began to radiate from his head. "What is the secret?!"

Salazzle opened her eyes and smiled.

"Go to hell."

After she spoke, she stretched her arms out like wings and pushed herself off the ladder, launching herself into the air. The Solar Beam fired at her, followed by a hard crunch of concrete.

The Egg Brothers peered from the roof, both Egg and Ex staring exasperatedly at Tor.

"See, Tor?" Ex gestured at Salazzle, sprawled unconscious on the ground. "Now she's unconscious and the sun is already setting. We can't get the secret from her now. We've lost."

Egg frowned. "I h-hope she's okay!"

"I don't care," Tor snarled. "She was annoying, anyways."

Sighing deeply, Ex shook his head. "Well, looks like we should head back to Shaymin."

* * *

All the contestants were seated in the cafeteria, eagerly watching their host, who was flying about the room.

"Okay, cast," Shaymin called out. "So, since the Egg Brothers failed to get Salazzle to reveal Espeon's secret, the Groudons win a point! That means that we're on a tiebreaker, with both teams tied on four points. The tie-breaker will be the poetry competition I had mentioned before, and Victreebel will be the judge of who wins that competition."

All of the Pokémon nodded in agreement, exchanging determined glances between team members.

Shaymin raised an eyebrow at her silent cast. "Any questions, concerns, complaints-"

"Yes, actually," Buneary interrupted, raising her hand. "Since the Egg Brothers already failed, can Salazzle just tell us what Espeon's deep dark secret is?"

Everyone turned to face Salazzle, whose body was plastered with bandages. She gave a questioning look to Espeon, who simply shrugged in response.

"Fine," Salazzle muttered. "It's really not that deep or dark or anything. In fact, I don't think it's even a secret of sorts-"

"Just get on with it," Golisopod snarled menacingly, stretching his limbs out on the table in front of him.

Rolling her eyes, Salazzle said, "The secret was that Espeon hates fart jokes."

All the Pokémon seated in the cafeteria turned to give Espeon a bewildered gaze. The psychic Pokémon only blinked nonchalantly.

" _That_ ' _s_ the deep, dark secret that we spent hours trying to find out?" Tor demanded, his face fuming with rage. Espeon only tilted her head dismissively at him.

"Well, I suppose it's not a secret anymore, is it?"

Shaymin rolled her eyes at the banter, before dissipating their remarks. "Anyways, now that we've cleared that up, let's introduce our poets for today! Representing the Killer Kyogres, we have Pumpkaboo and Lucario!"

The two Pokémon stood from their seats, and hopped up to stand on the tables, basking in the cheers from the crowd. Lucario, in particular, was scanning the audience, until his eyes landed on Stunfisk. A cheeky grin on his face, he winked at her. "This is mostly dedicated to you, my beastly beauty."

Stunfisk hissed at him. "I'm going to ignore that wink you just gave me, if you promise not to do it again."

"I'll do no such thing," Lucario insisted, before winking at her once again.

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk scowled. "I have a pleasing vision of yanking his fur and then setting it on fire."**

 **0000**

"And from the Guzzling Groudons, we have Haxorus and Skitty!" Shaymin exclaimed as both Haxorus and Skitty propped themselves onto the tables. "Let the poetry and serenading of Espeon begin! You're allowed to interrupt each other, but it _must rhyme_."

Lucario gestured at Pumpkaboo. "Ladies first."

Raising her chest proudly, Pumpkaboo began to chant, "Dear Espeon: _it's not fair… it's not fair how you're over there and I'm over here._ "

" _It's not fair_ ," Lucario chimed in. " _That I don't know how your breath tastes or how your hand feels._ "

" _It's not fair that we are light years apart, yet we're under the same moon_."

" _It's not fair-_ "

Haxorus stamped on the table. "Whoa, hold up! It doesn't even rhyme! Let's show them, Skitty."

Nodding eagerly, Skitty wriggled her tail with excitement. "Let's do this."

" _Espeon is a champagne princess._ _A little 4:20 hunny. A splash of class and sass."_

" _And all mixed up in a whiskey glass!"_

" _She has a heart of gold."_

" _A life that's young and a soul that's old."_

The two, upon finishing their serenade, smiled enthusiastically at Victreebel, who was watching with slanted eyebrows.

Pumkaboo scowled at her rivals. " _Roses are red, violets are blue. Flowers all eventually die, so why don't you?_ "

"Oh, shit!" Golisopod remarked, and the other contestants agreed with him, their mouths agape with surprise at the harsh line of poetry that Pumpkaboo had strung together.

Haxorus folded her arms. "Well, that was _rude_."

"What's wrong?" Pumpkaboo asked mockingly. " _Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? Cause I walk like I've got oil wells, pumping in my living room."_ She turned to Lucario. "Come on! Help me out!"

"Um…" Lucario frowned for a moment, before bouncing back to his feet. "Well, Haxorus, you shouldn't have messed with Pumpkaboo because right now… um… _she wants to grate you so that you bleed_?"

Pumpkaboo nodded a bit too desperately. " _The death of her soul is poetry to me!_ "

Haxorus and Skitty stumbled back on their tables, startled by the ferocity of Pumpkaboo's insults.

"We're supposed to be serenading Espeon, not insulting each other!" Skitty pointed out, glancing nervously at Pumpkaboo.

The Pumpkin only growled. "I'm not insulting you. I'm _describing_ you."

"Enough!" Victreebel suddenly bellowed, raising himself from his seat. " _Roses are red and golden is honey, I shouldn't have to listen to you awful poetry; Shaymin hasn't paid me enough money._ "

Shaymin pursed her lips. "Thanks, Victreebel. But who's the winner?"

After a moment of thought, Victreebel finally spoke. "Both teams failed to impress me, but I did admire the unadulterated passion in one of the contestants in particular: Pumpkaboo. Therefore, the winner of this tiebreaker is the Killer Kyogres."

Jumping down from their tables, Pumpkaboo and Lucario cheered with the rest of the Kyogres, all of them smitten with relief. Meanwhile, Shaymin turned to face the Groudons.

"Well, Groudons, it's time for you to pick someone to boot out!"

* * *

Biting his lip tentatively, Shroomish slowly hobbled his way up the path. His entire body felt tense with nerves; he hadn't exactly done well in the painting challenge, so he was certainly at risk of elimination. He was yet to cast his vote, but he already had a fair idea of who his vote was going to be towards.

As he continued climbing up the winding pathway, he saw a large figure perched on the edge of the cliff, watching the last few droplets of sunlight sink back into the ground.

"Charizard?" Shroomish called out.

The fire-type yawned, and turned his head towards the mushroom. "Hey, Shroomish. Have you voted yet?"

"Er, no. Not yet," Shroomish replied, looking down at the ground thoughtfully. "You?"

"No."

"Oh."

They both watched as the final amber glints of the sun became consumed by the darkness of the night, each of them buried in their own thoughts. After a moment, Shroomish finally spoke.

"Um, Charizard, I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

Arching his eyebrow curiously, the fire-type responded, "Yes?"

"Well," Shroomish began, once again averting his eyes towards the ground. "Vespiquen is one of my good friends now, and what you did to her was kind of mean, don't you think?"

Charizard's face crumpled in bewilderment. "What did I do to her?"

"You know, you cheated on her with Garchomp, and you've been using her to help the other team win," Shroomish explained, cowering slightly as Charizard jumped up at the accusation.

"I did no such thing! Who told you this? Was it Vespiquen?"

Shroomish shook his head rapidly. "Oh, no. Vespiquen didn't tell me."

"Well," Charizard started with a frown. "Have you at least asked her if this information is correct?"

Biting his lip, Shroomish eyed Charizard hesitantly. "I want to, but she hasn't brought it up to me yet. So I kind of figured that maybe she didn't want to talk about it." Seeing Charizard's face drop, he added, "Don't worry! I don't think Vespiquen hates you or anything. I'm not sure if she even knows. No one as told her yet-"

"What do you mean? You mean to say that other Pokémon believe this happened? Who spread such a rumour?" Charizard demanded, crouching on the ground so he could pierce Shroomish with his sharp gaze.

"Well, I heard that Stunfisk was the one who started it," Shroomish confessed. "She told Froslass, who, in turn, told me. But I think Stunfisk also told a lot of the other Pokémon on our team already."

Charizard shook his head sadly. "Gossip spreads like fire, doesn't it? And to think that I thought our team was actually pretty peaceful."

"We certainly look like a fairly content team," Shroomish concurred sympathetically. "But that's only what we look like on the outside. On the inside, when you delve in, there is so much mischief bristling here and there."

"There's always something hiding beneath the surface," Charizard agreed, before heaving himself up. "Come on, buddy. It's time to go and cast our votes."

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk snarled at the camera. "Men are bastards."**

 **0000**

 **Folding his arms, Charizard arched an eyebrow. "Pokémon who gossip are assholes."**

 **0000**

" **I am the conductor of the meat train!" Lycanroc exclaimed excitedly.**

 **0000**

Shaymin squealed at her podium as she glanced at the members of the Guzzling Groudons. Finally, after they had all settled their restless murmuring, she spoke.

"I have to say," she began, waving a slip of paper in her hands. "This has been the closest elimination yet! I'm rather impressed."

Bellossom, fiddling with the Gracidea flowers in her tray, glanced at Shaymin pleadingly. "Seriously? You rush everything, but when it comes to the elimination, you take things as slow as a Slowpoke sliding on peanut butter?"

"Oh, hush, will you?" Shaymin countered with a rather loud nose exhale. "Okay, so, as everyone knows, our birthday girl, Espeon, is automatically safe for today! Other Pokémon who are safe today with no votes to their names are: Noctowl, Incineroar, Absol, Haxorus, Vespiquen, Skitty, Krokorok, Shroomish, Froslass, Gastly, and Buneary."

The twelve Pokémon each let the tension slide from their shoulders as Bellossom chucked them a flower individually. As they began shuffling to the side, Shaymin turned to face the five remaining contestants. She clucked her tongue.

"Salazzle and Golisopod; you guys need to stop constantly voting for each other! It's getting a little ridiculous," Shaymin remarked, before adding, "But nevertheless, you both only have one vote each under your names, so you're both safe for tonight."

Glaring at each other, both Salazzle and Golisopod caught their flowers and marched over to the side, ensuring they were a generous distance away from one another. The final three Pokémon, Charizard, Lycanroc and Stunfisk, remained in their seats, shaking with adrenaline.

Shaymin gestured at Bellossom, who, in turn, tossed a flower towards Lycanroc.

"I honestly don't think you understand the concept of voting, Lycanroc," Shaymin admitted. "I get it, you're the conductor of some hokus-pokus train, but was it really necessary to vote for yourself? But anyways, only one other Pokémon voted for you - I think it was Vespiquen - so you are safe from elimination."

Bellossom's jaw dropped. "Shaymin! You can't just keep telling people who voted for them!"

"Why not?" Shaymin asked with a shrug. "Anyways, that leaves me to my last two contestants: Stunfisk and Charizard. Ironically, all the Pokémon who voted for Charizard were females, while all the Pokémon who voted for Stunfisk were males."

"Did you hear that, Haxorus?" Stunfisk bellowed to her friend, leaping from her seat. "Men are bastards! They voted for me!"

Charizard looked like he was about to swat Stunfisk. "Well, apparently I was only voted by females, so maybe we're all just sexist."

"That's right," Shaymin chirped. "Apart from Salazzle, Golisopod, Lycanroc and Vespiquen, everyone else voted for you two, with the girls voting for Charizard and the boys voting for Stunfisk."

Narrowing their eyes, Stunfisk and Charizard snarled at each other before turning to face Shaymin eagerly.

"And unfortunately," Shaymin commiserated dramatically. "Since Ludicolo left, your team has one more girl than it does boys. So Charizard, you had one more vote than Stunfisk under your name, so you have been eliminated from this competition."

Charizard bowed his head as Bellossom threw the final Gracidea flower at Stunfisk. Cursing beneath his breath, he raised his head proudly and nodded thoughtfully. "I'll start packing, then."

 **0000**

" **I can't believe that I'm being eliminated because of a stupid rumour," Charizard ridiculed, shaking his head. "While I know Stunfisk is somewhat responsible, I don't believe for a second that she started it. She's not smart enough. Lurantis, on the other hand, is an entirely different case."**

 **The fire-type sighed in the treehouse, taking one final glance at his surroundings.**

" **I can't say I'll miss the place much, but I will miss Garchomp. I want her to win; and I want her to stay as far away from Lurantis as possible."**

 **0000**

Just as Charizard had finished shoving his luggage onto the ship, he heard the gentle padding of footsteps echo behind him. He whirled around immediately, expecting to see Garchomp; but to his disappointment, his visitor was the Pokémon he least wanted to see.

"Lurantis," he hissed. "What do you want?"

The grass-type chuckled grimly. "I just came to wish my friend a safe farewell."

"It was you, wasn't it?" Charizard asked accusingly. "You're the one who made up some stupid rumour about me and - who was it? - oh, that's right, Vespiquen. Why did you do it? I left Garchomp alone, didn't I?"

His mouth open with mock hurt, Lurantis clutched his scythes to his heart. "Oh, you wound me. Why would you accuse me?"

"Don't act dumb."

"Well," Lurantis said, his voice a long, satirical drawl. "I don't think you were being loyal to our deal; you were obviously trying to find time to warn Garchomp about me. You wanted to spread rumours about me, so it was only fair that I spread a rumour or two about you."

Charizard spat at the ground. "Fuck you."

"No, thank you," Lurantis retorted.

"I'm going to tell Garchomp," Charizard threatened, taking a step towards mantis. "I'm going to tell her _everything_ that you've done."

Lurantis only laughed. "Are you _sure_ you want to do that?"

Raising his eyebrows skeptically, Charizard remained silent, awaiting an explanation.

"You see," Lurantis mused. "Garchomp, unlike you, is actually being a rather good ally and friend to me. I have no problems with her at all. But if you create a problem by telling her a few things about me, I think that might have to change."

"You wouldn't be able to-"

"Yes," Lurantis retaliated, cutting Charizard off abruptly. "I can and I _will_ be able to rid myself of her if I need to. You saw how easily I got rid of both you and Ludicolo, and you're both not even on my team. Don't you _dare_ underestimate me, Charizard. You've already done that once, and boy, aren't you paying the price?"

Charizard bared his teeth as Lurantis gestured at the boat behind them. "You leave her alone."

"If you want me to leave her alone, then you have to refrain from telling her anything about me."

Closing his eyelids, Charizard thought through his options. He couldn't tell Garchomp; it would mean that she would be Lurantis's next target; but he couldn't just leave without telling her. Perhaps he could leave some sort of clue-

"Charizard!"

Breaking himself away from his thoughts, Charizard glanced up to see both Vespiquen and Garchomp striding towards him. Lurantis stepped backwards slightly, leaning against a tree as he winked at Charizard.

"Wait, what are _you_ doing here?" Garchomp hissed at Vespiquen as the two of them strolled towards the dock.

Vespiquen, somewhat startled by Garchomp's harsh tone, shrugged her shoulders gently. "I came to wish farewell to Charizard. I thought it was a pol inite thing to do-"

"Well, back off, bitch," Garchomp responded, before opening her arms wide and running to Charizard. She embraced him tightly, clutching onto him as if he were her lifeline.

Charizard, resting his chin on Garchomp's shoulder, gave Vespiquen a slight wave. Seeing this, the Queen Bee instantly brightened up, and drifted towards Lurantis.

Oblivious to Lurantis and Vespiquen standing on the side, Garchomp whisperedto Charizard's ear, "Stay safe for me, okay? I'll miss you."

"I love you," Charizard muttered warmly, patting Garchomp's back softly.

"I love you too."

They pulled away, and Charizard held Garchomp steadily by the shoulders.

"I just want you to remember one thing, Garchomp," he began, gazing into her eyes. "What might look like a lonely wood, or even a calm sea, will eventually give way to something much, much more dangerous."

Garchomp tilted her head to the side, her concerned eyes brimming with tears. "What? What are you talking about? Was someone responsible for your elimination?"

"All I'm saying is that-" Charizard cut himself off, his eyes darting to glance at Lurantis, who was giving him a mocking yet menacing glare. The fire-type cleared his throat, before turning back to Garchomp. He gave her one reassuring poke on the snout, before turning away and leaping into his boat.

"Well?" Garchomp demanded. "You never finished your sentence! Who got you eliminated?!"

The fire-type smiled sadly as his boat drifted away into the night. After one final wave, he called out to her, "All I'm saying is that there is always something hiding beneath the veil."

Her throat burning as she watched her lover leave, Garchomp collapsed onto the ground, burying her face in her hands. Lurantis sauntered over to her, sympathetically patting her on the back.

"There, there," he said comfortingly. "You'll see him again." Vespiquen nodded in agreement.

Garchomp inhaled a shaky breath. "I know. I just hate seeing him leave. It reminds me of everything we've lost."

After a moment, she wiped the tears from her eyes and stood herself up, gazing defiantly at the island.

"I swear to Arceus," she growled. "I'm going to find the Pokémon responsible for his elimination, and I'm going to destroy them." Trekking away from the docks, she forced her limbs forward, never daring to look back. Vespiquen, after exchanging a worried look with Lurantis, followed her, ushering the dragon-type Pokémon with comforting words.

Lurantis lingered behind, and he shook his head, grinning devilishly.

"I don't doubt that you'd destroy them, Garchomp," Lurantis muttered to himself. "But that is only if you ever manage to find them in the first place."

He laughed wickedly.

"And by then, I'll already have crushed you."

* * *

 **AUTHORS' NOTES!**

 **Tomato Soup (maycontestdrew): Aaaand Charizard is out! Before I continue, I would like to thank Dark Arcanine 33 for this fabulous OC, and I'm sorry to have him eliminated so soon. A lot of you guys suspected that it would be Garchomp, but nahhh, I chose her hubby. I thought this was pretty predictable otherwise, but yikes, Lurantis is just on fire here, isn't he? What do you guys think? Did you like Garchomp more, or did you prefer Charizard? Did you ship them, or nah? Please do tell! Who do you think will be next? How do you feel about the 'Men are Bastards' cult? And ayy, so many references to the title - Mimikyu knowing that it's not the button that matters but what is** _ **behind**_ **the button, Absol saying that there is more to a dark-type than what is shown on the surface, and, of course, the 'Nice Guy' veil that Lurantis is hiding behind. Everything important is hidden behind the surface - and I chose veil because of the wedding imagery associated with Garchomp and Charizard (hah! More foreshadowing!).**

 **But YAY! I'm actually managing to give some Pokémon actually got some screentime! That's one of the perks for having lots of different challenges in one big challenge. XD I still am yet to get to some Pokémon more screentime (Goddamn it Meowstic XD) - but I will! Eventually! And don't worry, not every episode will revolve around Lurantis and his antics. Or maybe it will until the finale when everyone- actually, I won't tell you that. XD I'm thinking that Lurantis will take a break- ehhh, who am I kidding?**

 **Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter. It's probably the longest one yet! So many mini-challenges all at once, I wouldn't blame you if you got lost. XD It was just too hard to have one overarching challenge and start to develop Charizard's elimination, so splitting it up seemed a lot more reasonable. Any challenges you liked best? Also, can we all appreciate that Espeon's name was mentioned 97 times in this episode? She also owned it. It's honestly sad that her team didn't win - she had to eat egg shells, poor thing. XD**

 **And, my favourite question, who do you think will be eliminated next? As always, it's been overshadowed. Multiple times. I'm sorry for making it predictable - I just can't make eliminations spontaneous, because I feel pathetic when I do. XD I feel like each character needs to at least have some of their personality or history exploited before they leave.**

 **34th Place: Charizard (The Silent Striker)**

 **He was already a huge threat to most of the cast, but that, combined with Garchomp, would have been far too explosive - and Lurantis recognised that immediately. Shaymin kind of trolled the two by putting them on different teams; so the two were pretty much Romeo and Juliet. A short love story that only lasted three days (episodes) and could never really have been. At first, I was scared of writing Charizard - he was quiet, analytical and everything that I'm not. But his moments with Lurantis and Garchomp really gave me a love for him, and so he got quite a lot of screentime (even though most of it was him being blackmailed, poor lil guy). Overall, he was a good guy who was too strong and selfless (to Garchomp, anyways) for his own good. Of course it would be Garchomp who would farewell him, but Lurantis just** _ **had**_ **to tag along. He will always be in the way, won't he? And Vespiquen? She's there for a reason. :P I mean, she was there to support her friend, but her reason for being there is different to my reason for her being there (if that makes sense XD). Good luck trying to find out why I had her there.**

 **Enjoy! And because we are very shameless, PLEASE REVIEW. Please. Pleeeeeeeeeease? Please. Reviews are delicious.**


	8. Chapter 8: The Green Shadow

**Chapter V: The Green Shadow**

After glaring at the number dialled into her phone, Shaymin finally pressed her paw against the 'Call' button, her face brimming with frustration as each dial tone passed. Finally, after what felt like hours, a voice responded instead of the ringtone.

"Hello?"

Shaymin inhaled deeply before replying, "Victini!"

"Oh," Victini mumbled. "Hey there, Shaymin."

"You sound disappointed."

"Well, yeah- wait, no, I err-" Victini managed to rattle out on the other end, before stopping himself. "Why are you calling anyways?"

Shaymin clucked her tongue impatiently. "Well, I dunno, maybe it's because- why the _fuck_ is there a pile of garbage and debris inside Victreebel's mansion!?"

On the other end of the line, Victini shrugged. "I dunno. It's your island, not mine. How would I know?"

"How would _you_ know?" Shaymin spat out. "It's literally rubbish from your last episode where your contestants just drove around in shitty cars-"

"Hey! They were not shitty! There was a Crobatmobile, just so you know-"

With a snicker, Shaymin interrupted him. "I don't care! Victreebel won't do any work with rubbish lying around her home! Why did you shove everything on my island? Can't you just get Hariyama to, I dunno, sort everything out and trash it properly?"

"Well," Victini protested. "You're the grass-type. I thought that you would appreciate it if we teleported things to you so that you could decompose everything and save the environment, or whatever it does."

"So you decided to send all your junk to me to clean up?"

The Victory Pokémon hesitated before responding. "Er, yeah. I mean, it's not like you have better things to do-" Victini politely urged, only to be once again disrupted by Shaymin's clamorous voice.

"What the fuck do you mean that I don't have better things to do!?" she hissed over the phone. "I'll have you know that I'm hosting my very own show, asshat. And, whoa, are you crying?" Shaymin immediately silenced herself as she heard a shaky squeak come from the other end of the phone. "Dude, I didn't mean to-"

The small murmurs grew into a boisterous laugh as Victini cackled over the phone. "Wait, seriously? You're _actually_ hosting your own show? I thought everyone was joking!"

"Well, they weren't joking," Shaymin rebutted, before quickly adding, "But why is that so funny?"

After his laughter settled, Victini scoffed. "Oh, just because you tend to be unorganised. And you rush things way too much. And oh boy, the mood-swings are also-"

"Unorganised?" Shaymin echoed, horrified. "Mood swings? Do you want to have a fucking go, mate?"

Victini cursed beneath his breath. "Err- would you look at the time! I have an episode to host. Bye!"

"Wait!" Shaymin protested. "Don't you dare hang up! Do you hear me, Victini? Don't you dare- Victini? Victini! Hello? You've hung up on me, haven't you?" To her fury, the only response back was the bland yet scornful dial tone.

Scowling at her phone, she chucked it at the door. "Victini, you asshole!"

After the phone ricocheted off the ligneous wall, Shaymin heard a gentle tap against the door.

"Miss Shaymin? It's Bellossom. Is everything okay?"

The host sighed, before sprawling herself onto the floor. "Come in, Bellossom."

Bellossom, upon entering her room, arched her eyebrows curiously at the host, who was lounging against the dense floor, moaning to herself.

"Miss Shaymin?" The flower Pokémon called. "What is the matter?"

"Victini is being an ass," Shaymin groaned. "He's making me clean up his garbage, that bloody lazy son of a-"

The assistant host only smiled as Shaymin continued to rant. "Miss Shaymin; how about we start cleaning up the rubbish, rather than sitting around and moping about it? Perhaps we could ask several of the contestants to help us-"

"Bellossom!" Shaymin abruptly exclaimed, leaping onto her feet. "I have an idea!"

"What is it, miss?"

Shaymin grinned proudly. "Let's get the contestants to help us!"

"Miss," Bellossom prodded gently. "I literally _just_ said that-"

"No, no, no," Shaymin insisted. "Let's make it their _challenge_. Whichever team cleans up their respective side of Victreebel's mansion wins!"

With a groan, Bellossom smacked her forehead. "You can't just make your contestants clean as part of a challenge."

"Why not?"

"It's not right!" the flower Pokémon protested. "The contestants won't like it, the audience won't like it-"

Hearing this, Shaymin's ears perked up. "What do you mean, the audience won't like it?"

"It's _boring_. No one likes watching other Pokémon clean a house."

Shaymin frowned thoughtfully. "Well… Maybe we can add a twist."

"What sort of twist?"

"Oh, I know!" Shaymin abruptly declared. "It'll be a cat and mouse game of cleaning the house! The Groudons have to clean the house, but the Kyogres have to keep messing it up to make their job even more difficult. When the time is up, if the house is clean, the Groudons win; if it's dirty, the Kyogres win."

Bellossom's eye twitched. "Well… It is original."

 **0000**

" **Shaymin's always been a bit too bossy for everyone," Bellossom confessed. "She's a sweet Pokémon, but she acts too tough for her own good."**

 **0000**

"Behind the veil…"

Lurantis watched in bemusement as Garchomp, curled up in a ball, sat against the edge of the cliff. The dragon-type had been murmuring Charizard's final words over and over to herself, chanting them at a rhythmical and increasingly frustrated pace. After a moment, she slammed her fist into the ground, growling at the sunrise.

"Behind the veil, my ass!" she called out to no one in particular. "What the fuck does it mean, Charizard? Why couldn't you just give me a name?"

Though she sounded as if she was desperate to continue her passionate ranting, she interrupted herself with an agonising sob.

After a moment of watching with amused fascination, Lurantis finally stepped out from behind the tree, strolling towards her serenely. "Garchomp?" he called out, feigning surprise. "Fancy seeing you here."

"And why is that?" Garchomp asked curtly, glaring at the incomer.

Lurantis shrugged. "I believe this was Charizard's favourite spot."

"How would you know that?"

"Vespiquen told me," Lurantis hastily responded, stifling a smirk as he saw the unadulterated rage simmer visibly on the dragon-type's features. "I think her and Charizard were rather close-"

Before he could finish, Garchomp had flung a rock off the cliff, snarling fiercely. "I don't want to hear about that bitch. I can't believe she had the bloody _nerve_ to come and farewell him, when he was so obviously taken."

Arching an eyebrow, Lurantis perched himself beside the frustrated Pokémon. "Garchomp," he began soothingly. "You need to calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down! This is none of your damned business-"

"Relax, will you?" Lurantis hissed, gritting his teeth. "Letting passion and anger distort your mind will not be beneficial for our team at all. What are you so upset about? You two live together. You're bound to see him soon enough."

"I just don't understand _anything_!" Garchomp burst out, before burying her face beneath her hands. "Nothing makes sense anymore!"

Lurantis tilted his head to the side curiously. "Oh?"

"You see," the draconian Pokémon began. "I always understand everything he tells me. It's like… He's a part of me, you know? The fact that he tried to warn me about something, and yet couldn't blatantly just tell me is driving me insane. Could it be that he no longer, I dunno, trusts me?"

The grass-type merely shook his head. "Okay, let's think about this practically. There is no way he would lose faith in you, at all. So what are some reasons why he wouldn't tell you to your face?"

Glancing up to the sky, Garchomp pondered the question carefully. After a moment of silence, she finally sighed.

"Well," she started. "Perhaps it was because someone else was there, and he didn't want them to listen. But apart from me, only you and Vespiquen were there."

Although his mind was rushing with frantic thoughts, Lurantis kept his face blank and emotionless as he eyed the dragon-type. "Well, in my defence, I'm not even on Charizard's team so it would be extremely difficult for me to assist in his elimination. We were hardly associated with each other."

"Yes," Garchomp reasoned. "But… _behind the veil_ … It makes no sense! Of course, of _all_ times he decides to become a poetic dipshit, he chose then. I'm no Shelmet fucking Holmes!"

Lurantis lolled his head to the side; he had never realised that Garchomp was that quick to anger. "Well, how about we analyse those last words he had said?" he offered carefully, leaning back onto his scythes. "Behind the veil; if I didn't know any better, veil almost sounds like Vespiquen. They both start with v."

"And," Garchomp added, nodding in agreement. "Vespiquen was, apparently, locked in a room with Charizard as part of their challenge. She could have said anything to him, or done anything to him in that time."

"And Vespiquen came to farewell him, thus making it impossible for him to warn you without her being aware that you knew her potentially manipulative ways."

Garchomp's eyes widened. "Holy shit, of _course_!" Her temporary moment of excitement was instantly diminished by a solemn glance at the sunrise. "Oh, Arceus, I miss him so much, Lurantis. He was my family."

"I thought your family was dead," Lurantis remarked, narrowing his eyes curiously.

"Oh yes," Garchomp confirmed, a sad smile dappling her features. Her eyes began to glisten with tears as she said, "But if Charizard has taught me anything, it's that family is where you say it is."

"And where do you say it is?"

Garchomp looked down at the ground, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Family is…. Family is where your heart beats the loudest." Her dreamy expression dimmed, a quizzical frown beginning to etch onto her face. "But _how_ did Vespiquen - that _bitch_ \- manage to eliminate him?"

"I don't know," Lurantis confessed, gently reaching out to pat her comfortingly with his scythes. "But, together, we will find out."

 **0000**

" **Honestly," Lurantis huffed, shaking his head. "Jealousy and gossip. That's all it takes."**

 **0000**

Growling incessantly, Golisopod began marching to his bedroom door as he heard someone tumultuously bang against it.

"Coming, coming!" He called out to the anonymous knocker. As he shoved open the door, his face crumpled with confusion when he recognised his incomer.

" _Salazzle_?" he scowled. "What are you doing here?"

The reptile shrugged. "I came to talk to you, doofus." The coldness of her voice did not surprise Golisopod one bit, but the low intimacy of it certainly did.

"What's wrong?"

Salazzle glanced anxiously around her, before muttering, "It's the Egg Brothers. Something about them just isn't right."

"You're worried about the three stooges?" Golisopod snarked. "You really are pathetic."

Salazzle only rolled her eyes. "That's rich, seeing as you got beaten by small little Mimikyu in the last challenge."

His fists clenched tightly, Golisopod thrusted his fist forward threateningly. "Do you want to fight-"

"No," Salazzle snorted, stepping aside. "I want to talk. All I'm saying is that something is up with The Egg Brothers, and someone should probably check them out. In the last challenge, they were able to do more than they should. They could run, climb buildings and somehow were able to sniff me out. It's just not right, and I think we should find out what it is before it becomes a threat."

Golisopod pondered on this. "Why are you telling me this? We're not exactly buddies."

"Because I figured that you're probably one of the only sane Pokémon on this island."

"Fair point," Golisopod remarked. "Well, I suppose-"

He was cut off by a chirpy voice calling out from the other end of the cabins.

"Poddie! Wanna go for a walk?"

Golisopod gave a sheepish and embarrassed smile to Salazzle, before wincing as he turned to face Dragonite, who was eagerly waving at the arthropod. "Um… Sure, Dragonite. Sure."

 **0000**

" **Dragonite, though an idiot at times, can actually be very kind," Golisopod pointed out, grimacing after each word. "I'm surprised that his loyalty to Magikarp hasn't gotten him eliminated yet."**

 **0000**

Just as Dragonite and Golisopod had begun their slow amble down the forest, Shaymin's voice bellowed over the loudspeaker. "Good morning, campers! It's time for your next challenge, so make your way to Victreebel's mansion!"

Within minutes, all the contestants had gathered in front of the mansion, each of them gaping with wide-eyed horror at the large house before them.

"We don't have to fight Victreebel a-again, do we?" Mimikyu asked, her jaw dropping. "That's three f-freaking times!"

Shaymin rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "Will you relax? I've given Victreebel a day off, since she's been working so tremendously hard."

"But-" Bellossom began to protest, but she was quickly interrupted by the host herself.

"Anyways," Shaymin announced adamantly, shooting a sly glare towards Bellossom. "A little asshat of a host decided that he was going to teleport all his garbage from his show into Victreebel's house-"

Haxorus raised her arm. "Which host?"

"Victini," Shaymin answered. "But, anyways, the jackass decided to dump his rubbish here for me to clean up-"

Once again, Haxorus interrupted the host with a gasp. " _Victini_ , you say? Oh my Arceus; he is my favourite! His show is so freaking cool! It has amazing plot twists, amazing challenges and the development of all his characters is just so fabulous!"

"Yeah," Shroomish agreed. "No offense, but you could learn a thing or two from him, Shaymin."

Her face beginning to flush with anger, Shaymin shook her head stubbornly. "Will you guys just shut up? I'm obviously more professional than Victini."

"Debatable," Froslass scoffed, only to earn herself a glare from Shaymin.

"Remind me to call Victini up and ask him whether it is possible to disown cast members," Shaymin mumbled beneath her breath, before forcing a grin onto her face. "Anyways, do you want to hear your challenge or not?" Before the contestants could even answer, she began rambling away. "Basically, to clean up this trash that Victini has sent us, your mission is to make Victreebel's mansion as clean as possible."

Zoroark folded her arms, her eyebrows arched judgmentally. "You're making us clean for you?"

"Well, yeah," Shaymin verified, before adding, "But it's more fun than that! Only the Guzzling Groudons have to clean."

" _Wow_ ," Espeon snickered, her voice icy with sarcasm. "As a member of the Groudons, I can confirm that I'm already feeling the fun."

Shaymin grinned. "Brilliant! And meanwhile, the Killer Kyogres have to go around and try to mess up the house even more! So, when the sun sets, if the house is clean, the Groudons win. If the house is messy, then the Kyogres win. Are we clear?"

The contestants nodded determinedly, most of them already eyeing the door eagerly.

"Great, because your time starts now!" With a heavy shove, Shaymin threw open the door to the mansion and watched with amusement as the Pokémon hurtled past each other, clamouring to see who would get inside the house first. The only camper who straggled behind was Stunfisk, who was slowly sliding her way into the mansion.

"You know, Shaymin," Stunfisk began, critically examining the host. "Maybe Victini left you garbage because he is trying to tell you that your show is garbage."

After she finished uttering those words, she slunk away into the house, leaving a speechless Shaymin gaping at the doorway.

* * *

Sighing, Absol strolled around the room, kneeling down and picking up scraps of rubbish before shoving them into a garbage bag. "I'm always the one wrecking things," he murmured to himself. "Not cleaning them up."

Just as he picked up another fragment of rubbish, he heard the door creak open.

"Who's there?" he called out, leaping defensively into a pile of soot. The dust and ash from where his foot landed was sent flying into the air, puffing its way onto the newcomer's face. Squinting his eyes, Absol saw that, through all the soot and dust, it was only Banette.

"Sorry!" he called out to her, grinning sheepishly as she began to choke on the soot. "I didn't mean to make you choke like that. I'm just a walking disaster, you know?"

Banette rubbed away some of the grit from her face, her voice hesitant as she replied. "I m-mean, your species are known as the Disaster Pokémon."

Hearing this, Absol's grin dissolved into a frown.

"My species are _not_ a- oh, screw it."

 **0000**

" **I just don't get it!" Absol cried, his face crumpled with bewilderment. "Even though we tend to cause wrecks everywhere and are usually present during natural disasters and we have a love for pranking others and causing mischief, it doesn't mean that we should be considered the** _ **Disaster**_ **Pokémon!"**

 **0000**

"Alright Lycanroc, I know you're on my team and all, but I need to get you out of this house as soon as possible."

To Incineroar's disappointment, Lycanroc only tilted his head in confusion. The fire-type groaned.

"We're supposed to be cleaning this house, and you're only going to make a mess. So I'm going to have to knock you unconscious and throw you out of this damned house," Incineroar explained, slowly emphasising each word for clarity. "Understand?"

"WHERE ARE THE MEAT BICYCLES?"

Incineroar's eye twitched. "Oh, fuck you."

Just as he reached out with his enclosed fist, an idea struck his head. He grabbed Lycanroc by the arm and tugged the wolf towards him.

"Okay, Lycanroc," he started enthusiastically. "You want to be Lord Magikarp's number one follower?"

"We are number one!"

The fire-type nodded his head, almost mockingly. "Well, if you want to be number one, you're going to have to do something. You have to find every member of the Killer Kyogres, and throw them out of this house. 'Kay?"

"Potassium!"

Without another word, Lycanroc bolted out of the room, screaming absurd phrases regarding meat bicycles of the sort. Incineroar grinned as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Now, as long as Lycanroc is getting rid of the Kyogres, the rest of the Groudons can clean the house without any disturbances. That way, there won't be any Kyogres to mess up the house," he muttered to himself, mentally praising his intelligence and the plan itself.

Suddenly, his eyes widened with wonder.

"But how the fuck did Lycanroc know about potassium and the periodic table?"

* * *

His mouth a thin, unimpressed line, Magikarp eyed Musharna with detest.

"Musharna," the fish spoke. "Idleness is the Devil's work."

Pancham, who was watching from the side curiously, shook his head. "Magikarp, she's sleeping. She can't hear you."

"We're going to have to do something about her idleness," Magikarp growled, ceasing his helpless flopping on the ground. "We must make this house as untidy as possible, but we need every member in our team to contribute. Including Musharna."

"What do you suggest we do, then?"

Magikarp shrugged. "Give her a nightmare."

"Oh, sure- wait, _what_!?"

Flaring his nostrils, Magikarp turned to face Pancham. "Give Musharna a nightmare. She'll go crazy enough that, while she's dreaming, she will run around and create chaos. If she goes crazy, the mess she makes will be impossible for the Groudons to clean up."

"Absolutely not!" Pancham insisted, folding his arms adamantly. "Giving someone a nightmare is just cruel. There's no integrity in that."

"In that case then, my conscience is very different to yours," the fish retorted, before turning to face Musharna and beginning to chant. "Yea, as you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you shall fear all evil. For you are with no one, and no one shall comfort you."

Pancham watched in horrified amazement as Musharna began to have spasms across her body, shrieking to herself in helpless whimpers. The Pokémon began to whirl around the room in a frantic frenzy, knocking over anything that lay in her path.

"No!" Pancham called out, turning to glare at Magikarp. "She's suffering! Stop it!"

The fish only shook his head. "You'll thank me later."

 **0000**

" **These days," Magikarp began, eyeing the camera solemnly. "Moral honesty cannot be separated from a commitment to your group."**

 **0000**

"Come on, Gastly!" Buneary encouraged rather roughly. "You can do better than that!"

Sighing, the ghost-type shot Buneary a hesitant but piqued expression. "I'm trying!"

"You're not trying hard enough."

"I don't have arms!" he burst out, before reverting back to his quiet, murmuring voice. "How can I p-pick up rubbish if I don't even have arms?"

The two of them stood in the storage room, Buneary kicking scraps of rubbish into the garbage bag laying on the side. Without arms or a tangible body, Gastly had been struggling to help Buneary collect the garbage and instead resorted to picking up each individual piece of dirt with his mouth and spitting it into the bag.

"Gross," he said with a grimace as he leaned down to pluck a piece of snotty tissue on the ground, scrunching his nose up with resentment as the tissue balanced between his teeth.

Buneary nodded approvingly at him. "That's the spirit. Just hurry up. Maybe we can get some training done, if you hurry up."

"Training?" Gastly asked, his face paling. "But we trained for two _hours_ this morning."

"Yeah, but you can't say you didn't have fun."

Gastly smiled fondly as he recounted the events of the morning; he and Buneary had trekked down into the forest, and though he had squealed at the first few punches, he realised that he was immune to any of her punches due to his type advantage. In fact, it almost tickled. "Actually, yeah. That was fun."

"Good. There are just a few more dirty tissues to pick up, but otherwise, we're ready for training!" Buneary exclaimed, before leaping forwards and smacking another piece of rubbish straight into the garbage bag.

"Score!" Gastly called out, not only surprising Buneary but also surprising himself; he hadn't meant to cheer so loudly. Instantly, he felt his cheeks flush as he stared down the ground.

Buneary grinned at him, before nudging him playfully. "Hey, don't be shy. You're allowed to be loud, you know."

"Really?" Gastly guffawed. "I mean, I'm just not used to it."

"Well, you better get used to it. Especially if you're going to be chilling with me for the next few weeks or so."

The ghost-type smiled shyly. "Okay."

"What was that?" Buneary asked teasingly. "I can't hear you!"

"Okay!"

" _What_?"

"OKAY."

Buneary nodded her head, almost as if she was admiring the Pokémon in front of her. "That's better."

"Um…. Yay?"

"What was that? _Louder_!"

 **0000**

" **I'm going to have to buy myself a loudspeaker or something," Gastly pointed out, his face bright with enthusiasm. "Though, I have to admit, Buneary is a lot more fun than I thought she would be."**

 **0000**

Lucario strolled through the long corridors, peering before taking each turn down a different hallway. Though he was aware that he was supposed to be knocking over furniture and causing ruckus all over the house as part of the challenge, he also was eager to find one of the girls from the 'Men are Bastards' cult.

Just the other day he had heard of their antics, and how Charizard's elimination may have been stimulated by the trio of girls. Whether they were intentionally manipulative or simply too prejudiced to understand their crudeness was beyond Lucario, but he knew that he had to put a stop to it. Especially since he may have been the one responsible for it in the first place.

"Haxorus! Skitty!" he called out as he saw the silhouettes of the Pokémon. He watched nervously as they tensed upon hearing their names, but released a sigh of relief as they dropped their broomsticks and turned to face him.

"Lucario?" Skitty responded, squinting her eyes as she waved away the dust with her tail. "What's wrong?"

"Do you think he came to call Stunfisk beastly again?" Haxorus asked loudly, before earning herself a curious look from Lucario.

Stepping forwards so he could see them clearly, Lucario held Haxorus's gaze. "Wait, is she _still_ going on about that? That was ages ago!"

"Yeah," Skitty reasoned. "But it's seriously traumatised her."

Haxorus nodded in agreement. "She won't stop talking about it. Why did you call her that anyways?"

Releasing a long breath, Lucario glanced at his paws before once again looking at the two girls in front of him. "Well," he began to explain. "I was going to call her beautiful, but then she had told me to call her anything but beautiful because it was, apparently, too cliché. But I had already started the word, so I had to change it fast and I was out of ideas, so I just went with the closest possible word and called her, well, beastly." After his rant, he bit his lip, awaiting the reaction from both Skitty and Haxorus.

The two girls, after exchanging baffled looks, both gave Lucario understanding grins.

"It's okay," Skitty chimed. "On behalf of Stunfisk, we forgive you."

Haxorus grinned sheepishly. "And by the sounds of it, you sound like a pretty cool guy!"

Lucario felt the tension in his body loosen. "Thank _Arceus_ ," he praised. "I'm still really sorry if I caused any drama or anything. I guess I need to take some lessons on how to impress a girl."

"Lessons?" Skitty asked, her feet bouncing with excitement. "We can help you!"

"Yeah," Haxorus concurred. "We're girls ourselves, so we're great with advice. Are you sure you're ready, though? Once you learn these rules, there is no going back."

Mystified, Lucario nodded. "I am ready."

"Then let the Guide to Gentlemenhood commence."

* * *

After a long sigh, Salazzle knelt down and retrieved yet another wizened apple core and threw it into a nearby rubbish bin. The area she was in was almost spotless, and her back was beginning to ache from constantly having to bend down to the floor and extract the pieces of garbage.

"Finally," she grunted after shoving away the last scrap of crumpled paper in the bin. She glanced at the room she was occupying proudly, almost as if expecting for it to be shining with cleanliness. "Looks like I'm done in here-" she halted herself when she heard a loud crash resonate from the side of the room.

To her horror, a small tractor had burst into the room, destructing anything in its wake. The driver of the tractor had concealed his face with a cloak, driving around recklessly and thrusting all the furniture aside. Salazzle's jaw dropped as she watched the tractor ruin all her tidying efforts, shoving down the glass vases and shredding the cushions on the sofa.

"Hey!" she yelled. "Stop that!"

However, the driver did not stop nor care. Continuing to trash about the room, the tractor crashed into another wall and resumed its destruction in another room.

Gnashing her teeth together, Salazzle began rapidly picking up the fragments of rubbish and tossing them into the garbage bin. After ensuring that the room was completely deficient in blemishes, she darted out of the room, pursuing the mysterious driver in the tractor.

 **0000**

 **Salazzle stretched her fingers before cracking her knuckles menacingly. "If that tractor driver is the reason our team loses, I am going to hunt down that damned driver and whoop his ass."**

 **0000**

"I'm not really good at breaking things or making a mess," Jigglypuff confessed as she hesitantly tipped over the rubbish bin, watching as the gruesome contents scattered across the floor. "I wish our team was the team that was cleaning instead."

Ribombee nodded in agreement. "Yeah, me too." After a moment, he suddenly added, "Though, I happen to be great at destroying things."

Jigglypuff scoffed. "Really? You're so cute and small and sweet! I would hardly call you capable of any sort of destruction."

"Yeah?" Ribombee asked teasingly. "Well, watch this."

Leaning over, he held out his hand and pushed down a pot plant that was sitting idly on the table. The ceramic pot shattered as it crashed onto the ground, and the soil spattered onto the ground, showering the wooden floor with specks of soil.

Afterwards, he bent down and picked up the rose that had been in the pot plant, and looked up hopefully at Jigglypuff. "Here you go," he said, passing the flower to her. "A token of our friendship."

"Thank you," Jigglypuff chirped, but just before she could pluck the rose from Ribombee's hands, the flower drooped down towards the ground, the petals beginning to wither immediately.

Ribombee's face fell. "Damn," he murmured. "There strikes the bad luck. Again." He glanced down at the pathetic, wilted flower in his hand, before pushing it towards Jigglypuff. "Do you want it, anyways?"

Remaining silent for a moment, Jigglypuff finally snorted out a burst of laughter, her boisterous giggles sending thrills of joy through Ribombee, who, in turn, began laughing as well.

Meanwhile, Pumpkaboo was watching them from across the room, squealing as she twirled around.

 **0000**

" **They're so freaking cute!" Pumpkaboo shrieked, her body shaking with excitement. "I'll arrange their marriage; make them elope or something. Maybe I should lock them in a closet together? Or, even better, push them out to sea in a boat…"**

 **0000**

"You know," Shroomish remarked, glancing around the room. "We've done a pretty good job."

Froslass drifted towards him, nodding in agreement. "For a Pokémon who is basically a ghost and a Pokémon who doesn't have any arms, we've done very well."

The two of them had hardly managed to scrape up all the dirt into the rubbish bin, but after shoving their way through the garbage or using wind to blow it to one side, they had finally managed to make their room relatively clean.

"I guess we better check to see if other rooms are clean," Shroomish stated, his nose scrunching up slightly as he imagined the rubbish he was yet to face.

"Actually," Froslass said, eyeing the grass-type Pokémon carefully. "I have a better idea."

* * *

"Don't be so tentative," Absol coaxed gently. "Your team is supposed to be breaking things and making a mess; you don't have to apologise to every single cushion that you throw onto the ground."

Banette smiled sheepishly at the dark-type. "Sorry! I'm just-"

"See? You apologised again for no reason."

"Sor-" Banette cut herself off, raising her hand to rub her cheek in embarrassment. "I'm really not used to breaking things or making a mess."

Absol grinned enthusiastically. "It's really not that hard! All you have to do is find an object and knock it down," he advised encouragingly, knocking down a vase as a demonstration. Just as the glass made contact with the ground, Incineroar barged into the room, glaring at Absol.

"Absol!" The fire-type exclaimed, storming up to the Disaster Pokémon. "What do you think you're doing? We're supposed to be cleaning the place!"

His lips curling into a bashful grin, Absol gestured towards the ghost beside him. "Well, Banette is in the Kyogres and she was too shy to destroy things so I thought I would show her how to do it like a professional-"

"You're _helping_ her!?" Incineroar roared. "Oh, you're asking for it!"

Absol gulped as Incineroar approached him, his fist flying high in the air. "Oh my," Absol muttered beneath his breath before sprinting out of the room.

Banette watched as the Disaster Pokémon dashed around the room, simultaneously followed by Incineroar, who was lunging in an attempt to grasp onto Absol. As the two of them chased each other around the room, Banette could only slap her face gently with the palm of her hand to muffle her giggles.

"Get back here, Absol! I'll show you what a _real_ disaster looks like!"

"You'll never have my tush! Never!"

"Boys," Banette whispered with a grin. "Always so derpy."

* * *

Golisopod glared at the orange dragon beside him. After inhaling deeply, he hissed, "For the last freaking time, Dragonite, you should _not_ be helping me. You're on the other team! You should be wrecking things, not helping me tidy up the mess."

Blinking innocently, Dragonite tilted his head to the side. "What was that, Poddie?"

"Oh, for the love of Arceus-"

"I want Kyogres to lose, Poddie," Dragonite abruptly stated, before leaning down and grabbing a piece of rubbish. He had overestimated the amount he had to bend his knees though, and found himself tumbling onto the ground.

Golisopod watched, intrigued. "Wait; you want to Kyogres to _lose_?" he asked, his eyebrow arched in confusion. "Why?"

The cheeky smile vanishing from his face, Dragonite's expression turned serious as he lay against the floor. "I want Magikarp to be eliminated."

It had been the first sentence that Golisopod had heard from Dragonite that didn't sound childish. His jaw dropping with surprise, he crossed his arms. "He is really that bad, huh?"

"He's tricking everyone," Dragonite accused. "He is pretending to be Lord Magikarp, but he isn't really a God. He's just pretending so that everyone listens to him."

"And how do you know that?" Golisopod enquired, still relatively sceptical and bewildered.

"Because the true Lord Magikarp would never carry an Everstone," Dragonite hissed. "A Lord Magikarp would never evolve, regardless of holding an Everstone. He's a liar and a cheat, Poddie."

Nodding his head slowly, Golisopod began wiping away the soot and dirt from the table. "Well, then. I guess we better get cleaning then."

Dragonite grinned cheerfully, rolling around the ground in an attempt to stick all the pieces of garbage to his body. After a few minutes of silently collecting rubbish, Dragonite suddenly tapped Golisopod's foot gently.

"Poddie? The rubbish bin is full," he pointed out. "Where do we throw the garbage?"

"Just throw it out the window, Dragonite," Golisopod instructed, rolling his eyes as the dragon began to once again roll on the floor in a distressed heap.

"There are no windows!"

Golisopod shrugged. "We better call Bellossom and ask her for an axe, then."

 **0000**

" **So there is something up with Magikarp and his followers," Golisopod stated, somewhat perplexed. "But if Dragonite wants to somehow get rid of Magikarp, he is going to need lessons on how to stop being childish and start focusing."**

 **0000**

"The library!" Jigglypuff exclaimed, as she gazed wondrously around the room. "If we can knock all these books off the shelves, it'll be impossible for the Groudons to clean up everything by sunset. There are so many books!"

She, Ribombee and Pumpkaboo had entered the room, marvelling in its beauty. The shelves were high, panelled with carved oak, and stretched parallel to each other across the long, ancient room.

"We can't ruin it!" Pumpkaboo scolded impetuously.

"Can't do what?" Ribombee asked, his eyebrows furrowed quizzically.

Pumpkaboo waved her hands towards the book-shelves. "We can't knock over the books. They have feelings, you know."

"The books?"

Without hesitating, Pumpkaboo ran straight to the nearest book, pulling out a rather dusty and shrivelled parchment. "Macbeth, one of Shakespeare's classics!" she slipped through the pages, so that the scent of the novel wafted up towards her nostrils. "Ah, the thoroughness! The realism! The moral dilemmas! The battles of integrity!"

Jigglypuff, seemingly sceptical, reached over and touched the book. Instantly, Pumpkaboo snatched it away and replaced it hastily on its designated shelf, muttering hysterically to herself. "If one book is removed, the whole library is liable to collapse."

Exchanging an amused glance with Ribombee, Jigglypuff backed out of the room. "Well," she started. "If we're not going to wreck this place, we may as well find another room to ruin."

"No!" Pumpkaboo cried out, pouting. "We've only been here for a minute. You have to let me sniff the wisdom out of these books! Did I tell you about how books have feeling? They're real. They're-"

"You told us," both Ribombee and Jigglypuff quipped in unison.

 **0000**

" **I should marry Victreebel," Pumpkaboo declared. "I should marry her and then throw her into a volcano while framing Shaymin for the murder. Then, I get to take** _ **all**_ **the books."**

 **She scowled at the camera, narrowing her eyes.**

" **All. Of. Them."**

 **0000**

"Hey Espeon," Salazzle greeted as she approached the psychic Pokémon. "How's the cleaning going?"

Espeon shrugged nonchalantly, crinkling her nose as she jabbed a slab of chewed gum. "It's about as fun as every single one of Shaymin's other challenges."

"So… Not very fun?"

"The epitome of 'not-fun.'"

Salazzle grinned a little, before offering, "How about you clean the library, and I handle this area here? It'll be quicker that way."

After a moment of consideration, Espeon shook her head, a sly grin spreading you her face. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're going to mess up this place."

Salazzle snickered. "What? Why would I do that? We have to clean this place-"

"Don't try to fool me," Espeon retorted. "I know that's you, Zoroark."

After a moment, the reptile-looking Pokémon began to dissipate her appearance into the form of a black wolf. Zoroark, after fully morphing into her original form, glared at Espeon. "How did you know?"

"I'm a psychic Pokémon," Espeon pointed out. "I just know things."

Shrugging her shoulders, Zoroark leaned against the wall. "Fair point."

"It's a really neat trick you've got there, actually," Espeon complemented, rounding her way past Zoroark.

The dark-type watched her eagerly, her eyebrows arched as Espeon marched away. Just as she was about to turn the corner, Espeon whipped her head around to speak again.

"It's neat, but not neat enough."

 **0000**

" **Damn," Zoroark scowled, rubbing her arm. "Espeon is seriously a threat, isn't she? She knows everything. Even after she left, it was as if she knew Lycanroc was just behind me and ready to throw me out of the house."**

 **She examined a few of the bruises on her arms before adding with a wince, "Which, by the way, hurt."**

 **0000**

Skitty, Haxorus and Lucario were sitting on the rug in a circle, the girls bombarding Lucario with information as he began taking down notes eagerly.

"Okay, so always hold open a door for a lady," Haxorus edified, before clarifying, "Not because she's a lady, but because you're a gentleman."

Her tail shaking furiously, Skitty nodded her head. "And even if you lose this competition, remember that good manners and kindness will carry you where money can't go."

"Great," Lucario remarked. "Damn. I wish I knew all of this back when I was dating Delphox-"

"Delphox?" Skitty burst out, her eyes wide with alert. "You have a girlfriend?"

Lucario grimaced a little. "Er, no. Not anymore. She's my _ex-_ girlfriend."

"Good," Haxorus commented with a sigh of relief. Then, she added, "But don't ever bring up your ex-girlfriend to a current girlfriend, or even to anyone you're trying to attract. So, from now and on, you don't even know a Delphox."

"What?"

Skitty echoed her friend's comment. "Don't ever mention Delphox to any of your future girlfriends. It will only cause jealousy and unnecessary drama."

"Oh," Lucario said, sagging his shoulders slightly. "In that case… Who is Delphox?" he asked innocently.

Haxorus and Skitty nodded at each other with assent.

"Sir," Haxorus began, winking at Lucario. "You are on your way to Gentlemenhood!"

 **0000**

 **Skitty gaped at the camera. "Stunfisk was wrong about Lucario. So, so wrong."**

 **0000**

As he tossed a bag of dirt onto the ground, Meowstic grimaced as a cloud of dust smacked into his face. Manoeuvring his path slightly, he flew straight into the curtain, entangling himself.

"Dammit," he muttered to himself.

"Stuck there?"

The feline Pokémon glanced up to find Noctowl staring bemusedly at him as she flew down and scooped the garbage that he had just emptied on the ground. After she had shoved the garbage out the nearby window, she turned to face Meowstic.

"You're a rotten flier," she remarked jokingly. "You need to be more careful, otherwise you should stay out of the sky."

"I am careful."

"No, you're not."

"Well," Meowstic lightly quipped. "Other people are."

Noctowl shot him a quizzical glance. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"They'll keep out of my way," Meowstic insisted. "It takes two to make an accident."

"I doubt that," Noctowl rebutted. "You literally just crashed into a curtain by yourself. Besides, what if you ever meet someone who is as careless as you?"

"I hope I never will," Meowstic answered, before winking slyly. "I hate careless Pokémon. I suppose that's why I like you."

Noctowl scoffed, before grinning. "You're too cute."

"So will you help me get out of these curtains?"

"No."

* * *

"No, no, no!" Krokorok hissed. "Please just _stop_."

The crocodile had been attempting to clean the room he had been designated, but it was not turning out well for him. Every time he would shove a pillow back into place, his tail would snatch it up and take it for itself.

"We can't steal anything, dammit! Otherwise our team will lose! Give that back!" Krokorok exclaimed, trying to reach back and snatch the pillow that his flexible tail was carrying. Almost as if it was mocking Krokorok, the tail flicked the pillow into the air before catching it once again and shaking it around, causing feathers and fluff from the pillow to come dwindling down from the air.

"Screw you," Krokorok scowled, before he heard a voice outside his door.

"Did you hear that, Ex? I think the Dundee is talking to himself."

"Don't be rude, Tor."

"Y-yeah! He could b-bite us!"

Krokorok sighed as he waited for the voices to fade away, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh," he huffed, glancing sadly at his tail. "I hope Luxio manages to find that final piece soon."

* * *

Gastly bit his lip nervously as Buneary reached out to punch him. As always, her punch went straight through his body, hardly hurting him at all. Yet, there was something else he was worried about.

"Buneary?" he piped up. "You're getting awfully close to that vase over there!"

The bunny barely heard him, and continued belting out punches and kicks towards her partner, grunting with satisfaction every time her hit 'landed' onto him. "Don't distract me, Gastly!"

"But-"

"Hush!"

Gastly whimpered in his spot. Just moments ago, she had been yelling at him to raise his voice, and now she was telling him to remain silent. After a moment, he once again spoke, saying, "Just be c-careful!"

"Will you _stop_ being such a party-pooper?" Buneary scowled, halting her punch abruptly. "You've got to have more faith in me-" Just as she spoke, she tripped on a stray piece of tissue that had been lying across the ground. She managed to catch herself just in time to prevent her fall, but not in time to save the vase that she had just knocked down when she had attempted to rebalance herself.

The vase landed with a shrill, ear-piercing crash, glass shards dangerously scattering onto the ground. Buneary stumbled a little as she tried to ensure that the glass shards didn't penetrate through her skin. Finally, she gave an apologetic smile towards Gastly.

"I guess I should have listened, then," she pointed out, eyeing the glass carefully.

"M-maybe."

Buneary rubbed her paws together. "Oh well, better clean this up soon; otherwise we might end up losing."

She crouched onto the ground and gently shoved the shards into the nearest bin, with Gastly helping her to the best of his ability, plucking the pieces of glass with his teeth. After a moment, Buneary turned to face Gastly, with a bright smile plastered over her face.

"You know what, Gastly? We should make an alliance," she offered. "I've got the strength and confidence, and you've got the wit and carefulness. We'd make a pretty good team."

Gastly, blinking away his surprise, couldn't contain his excitement. "Y-yeah! I'd love to, Buneary!"

 **0000**

" **Yes!" Gastly exclaimed, flying in circles within the treehouse. "I think I've made a friend and an alliance! This isn't as bad as I thought it would be!"**

 **0000**

Her expression set with determination, Garchomp stormed past each corridor, ignoring the murmurs of her own teammates. She shoved her way through each room, her eyes narrow with suspicion.

"Garchomp?" Primarina asked, as the dragon-type slammed the door open into her room. "What are you doing?"

To her dismay, Garchomp ignored her and continued to march forward, her eyes fixed on the door in front of her. Primarina reached out to gently pat Garchomp.

"How about you help me, Garchomp?" Primarina offered gently. "We can make a bigger mess out of this room together. Please help me, well, destroy this room."

"I've got better things to do," Garchomp snapped in response, turning to glare sharply at Primarina.

"Like what?"

The dragon-type snickered. "Find Vespiquen."

With that, she stormed away, leaving a baffled Primarina watching her flounce forwards.

 **0000**

" **That wasn't showing very much consideration," Primarina observed, her voice damp with concern. "The point of the challenge for our team was to destroy the place, but she didn't seem to care at all. Garchomp wasn't showing very much team-work and cooperation."**

 **0000**

Primarina had decided that she was going to follow Garchomp; the knots of dread within her stomach seemed to be tightening as she thought of the fierce glare that the dragon-type had shot at her. Her queenly instincts kicking in, she slowly slid her way through the halls, following the sound of large stomping of feet to guide her.

Finally, after a few minutes, Primarina found herself in a large dining room, with Garchomp and Vespiquen near the centre. Towards the side, lurking towards the shadows, was Lurantis, who was watching both the Queen Bee and the Draconian with interest.

"Garchomp," Vespiquen muttered, as if she were pleasantly surprised. "How are you feeling?"

The dragon-type took a leering step forwards, her eyes flashing with fury. "Oh, you would know, wouldn't you?"

"Pardon me?"

"Don't play innocent with me, Vespiquen," Garchomp spat, her fist clenched beside her as she glowered at the bee. "You know exactly why I'm here."

Vespiquen tilted her head to the side quizzically. "Is it about Charizard?" she asked. "I know you must miss him. Why, I miss Charizard too-"

"Don't say his name."

"Excuse me?"

Her eyes narrowing, Garchomp marched forward once again. "I told you not to say his name, bitch."

"You mean Charizard's name? But-"

Before Vespiquen could finish her sentence, Garchomp made a short, deft movement, reaching out with her open hand and slapping Vespiquen across the face.

The sound, as sharp as a belt striking wood, resonated throughout the room as Vespiquen collapsed onto the ground, clutching her nose tightly as blood oozed out. With Garchomp looking as if she was ready to continue scolding her, Vespiquen released a long, broken wail of pain, before attempting to sit up.

Bleeding fluently, Vespiquen sat despairingly on the ground, hardly able to glance up.

"I… I don't understand," she managed to murmur, staggering as she forced herself upright.

Garchomp watched the bee suffer, her scowl merciless as she yelled, " _You_ don't understand? How the fuck do you think I feel!? You knew _exactly_ why we needed that money, but you didn't give a shit, did you? You stabbed Charizard right in the back, and you were still sadistic enough to watch him leave! You _bitch_!"

Once again, she reached out to claw at Vespiquen, but was stopped when a strong arm pulled her back by the torso.

"Garchomp," Lurantis whispered fiercely into her ear as he pulled her backwards with his scythes. "Enough."

Flailing her arms hysterically, Garchomp growled at the grass-type behind her. "Why? Why the fuck should I leave her alone, when she obviously didn't care about-"

" _Shut up_ ," he muttered, shoving her backwards once again. "You've done enough. Do anymore, and you're bound to get yourself into more trouble. Leave her be. You can't get answers out of her while she's bleeding profusely, can you?"

"Fine," Garchomp hissed, tugging at the scythes that gripped her. "Just let me go, Lurantis."

Compliantly, Lurantis released Garchomp from his grasp and gestured at the doorway. "Let's go." Without hesitation, Garchomp immediately charged across the room and through the door, not waiting for Lurantis to follow behind her. After a sympathetic smile towards Vespiquen, the grass-type followed suit, strolling at a much calmer pace than the Pokémon before him.

"Vespiquen, are you quite alright?" Primarina finally asked, elegantly slipping her way towards the injured Pokémon once she was sure that Garchomp was out of sight. "That looked like a rather hard hit."

The bee wiped her nose, grimacing as she padded the wound with her fingers. "Thanks, Primarina. I'm fine."

"Fine? Really?"

"The hive taught me that we all have to endure pain if we want to succeed in life," Vespiquen sighed, rubbing her face.

Primarina only shook her head. "Yeah? Well, the ocean taught me that pretending that the pain doesn't exist does not mean that the pain will cease to exist. We all must support one another if we want to succeed."

They both exchanged thoughtful glances, tainted slightly by nostalgia as they remembered their homes. Finally, after waiting for the blood to stop flowing so mellifluously, Primarina, softly rubbed Vespiquen's back.

"Why did Garchomp attack you, anyways?"

Vespiquen shrugged. "That's the thing - I have no idea."

"It might have something to do with Charizard," Primarina suggested. "Maybe his elimination too?"

"Definitely. But I played no part in his elimination at all; I had voted for Lycanroc," Vespiquen insisted, finally allowing her wings to carry herself up. "I don't know why she is accusing me of anything."

"Are you going to try finding out?" Primarina asked curiously.

Vespiquen nodded, her face set with resolution. "Yes. I will." With a smile, she added, "After all, the hive taught me that the only way to fix the solution is to find the source of it."

"And the ocean has taught me that it's easier to find a problem when you have someone to back you up," Primarina continued on, smiling graciously. "I can help you, Vespiquen. May I help you?"

"Help would be very much appreciated," the bee concurred, returning the grin despite the blood stain that was beginning to dry on her lip. "Perhaps the hive can learn a thing or two from the ocean."

"Likewise."

 **0000**

 **Lurantis leaned back in the treehouse, his arms folded. "That was close," he sighed. "If Vespiquen had gathered the strength to tell Garchomp that she didn't do anything to Charizard, I would be Garchomp's next punching bag."**

 **Shaking his head, he examined his scythes. "I'm just going to have to keep Garchomp away from Vespiquen for now. But seeing as a few Pokémon have already heard about Garchomp and the slapping incident, I don't think I'll have to worry. If our team loses, Garchomp has already paid the price."**

 **0000**

"Musharna! Wake up!" Pancham exclaimed, shaking the pink ball chaotically. "It's only a dream!"

The psychic-type, still trapped in her nightmare, was shaking uncontrollably, releasing helpless and muffled cries as she lived through it. Pancham eyed her worriedly.

"The poor thing is being tortured," he noted sympathetically, watching as she charged against the furniture. Sure, her hysteria was helping the Kyogres with the challenge, but even Pancham felt like this was simply abuse.

Once again, he reached out and shook Musharna wildly, exclaiming, "By Lord Magikarp's name, will you just wake up already!?"

As if triggered by Magikarp's name, the psychic Pokémon's eyes opened abruptly, and gazed around the room, still trembling as she absorbed her surroundings.

"You're awake!" Pancham yelled triumphantly, "Thank Arceus. I didn't think I could stand watching you suffer anymore, even though it was helping the team."

"Helping the team…?"

Pancham nodded. "Yeah. The whole point of the challenge, for our team, was to make the place as messy as possible so that the Groudons can't clean it before sunset."

"Messy?" Musharna echoed, once again examining the room. "Oh… I'm sorry. I didn't meant to make a mess… I'll fix it..." Her eyes drooping shut, her psychic abilities began to work around the room, levitating furniture and repairing any damaged bits. Pancham watched in horror as Musharna reverted the room back into its clean, intact state.

" _Musharna_ ," he whined. "We were supposed to keep it messy!"

"I agree… Pumpkaboo can be sassy…"

Stepping towards the side, Pancham slammed his head against the wall.

* * *

"Get back here!" Salazzle called out, as she darted across the hallway and leapt onto the tractor. Whoever the driver was had taken it way too far, crashing into each and every set of furniture that crossed it. Although Salazzle had managed to roughly tidy up after the tractor, it was only so much longer she could keep it up.

Sitting atop the tractor, she began to crawl down onto the front, covering the glass-screen. The driver within the vehicle shrieked as his vision became blocked by Salazzle's body, and turned the wheel furiously.

"No!" Salazzle hissed, but it was too late. The tractor had lost full control and was spinning out of the house, bursting through the window and out of the mansion.

Dusting her body, Salazzle choked slightly as she pushed herself up from the dirt. Glancing around her, she was surprised to see that many of the contestants were already sitting outside the mansion, most of them resting or talking animatedly to each other.

"What happened?" she asked Zoroark, who happened to be closest to her.

Zoroark merely shrugged. "Lycanroc has been running around the place, throwing everyone on the Kyogres team out of the house so that we can't be causing any chaos. It was actually a really clever idea; I admire whoever came up with that idea."

Her eyebrows arched, Salazzle shook her head amusedly. "Lycanroc? Being helpful? Wow."

"Wait a minute," Zoroark began, suddenly confounded. "What are you doing here? You're part of the Groudons; Lycanroc shouldn't have thrown you out."

"There was a tractor making a mess, and I jumped on it and we crashed and fell out of the mansion," Salazzle explained succinctly, before suddenly leaping back onto her feet. "Where is the tractor, anyways?"

Leaving Zoroark, she padded around the gardens until she found the small, disjointed tractor, which had loose wheels and mechanical parts flinging themselves away from the vehicle. Slightly annoyed, Salazzle marched towards the tractor.

"Who was driving this thing?" she asked aloud, shoving open the door and reaching inside the vehicle. She felt the soft fabric of a cloak and pulled the driver out, throwing them onto the ground. "Reveal yourself!" she commanded.

The driver, still concealed behind the black fabric, began rolling away, only to be caught by Salazzle.

"You're not getting away," she informed them, before reaching down and ripping the cloak off the Pokémon's face. Suddenly, she stumbled backwards, surprised as she recognised the face of the tractor driver.

" _Mimikyu_!?" she burst out, flabbergasted. " _You_ were driving the tractor?"

 **0000**

 **Salazzle rubbed her head, completely mystified. "Damn. Maybe Mimikyu beating Golisopod in the last challenge shouldn't have been such a big surprise."**

 **0000**

"Stunfisk!" Shroomish blurted out. "We've been looking for you since this morning!"

As he and Froslass approached the model, Stunfisk rolled her eyes. "Is it my autograph that you would like?"

"No," Froslass retaliated coldly. "We want to know what _really_ happened between Charizard and Vespiquen."

"What do you mean?"

Shroomish closed his eyes for a moment, calming himself, before uttering, "The thing you told Froslass in the last challenge about Charizard and Vespiquen; how much of it was _actually_ true and not some made up gossip that you wanted to spread?"

"Why does it even matter?" Stunfisk asked condescendingly, already beginning to slink her way towards the exit.

Froslass immediately blocked her path, her glare icy as she said, "Stunfisk, an innocent Pokémon just ruined his relationship with his girlfriend and lost his chance for money and a better life because of you. You better tell us the truth now."

"Otherwise what?" Stunfisk asked cynically. "You'll eliminate me?"

"Well, yeah," Shroomish replied.

Stunfisk snorted. "Look, all I know is that Charizard had betrayed our team for Garchomp in the first challenge anyways, and that he was rather close with Vespiquen or something. That's all I told Froslass, too."

"Liar," Froslass accused. "You told me that Charizard was _cheating_ on them, and that he was using Vespiquen to learn our team tactics so that he could help the other team win!"

"I exaggerated," Stunfisk confessed. "But it's your fault for believing it, not mine."

Shroomish and Froslass glanced at each other, shaking their heads disappointedly.

"You know what, Stunfisk?" Shroomish began, his eyes almost sad. "Screw you. Just… Screw you."

"No surprise there, sweetie," Stunfisk retorted. "Everyone wants to screw me these days."

 **0000**

 **Froslass exhaled a long, exasperated breath. "If I ever get a daughter, I want her to be a fool. A blind, helpless and beautiful idiot."**

 **She closed her eyes for a moment, guilt dimming her face.**

" **I know it sounds harsh," she admitted. "But these days, the only girls that seem to be able to live life without getting hurt or feeling guilty are those who are fools, oblivious to the thoughts of those around them."**

 **0000**

The sun was just beginning to set when Shaymin arrived at the mansion, examining the large house from the outside. Surrounding her were most of the Killer Kyogres, who had been defenestrated by Lycanroc, and Salazzle, who was gaping like a fish at Mimikyu.

"Alright then!" Shaymin chirped energetically. "It looks like I better start checking out how clean the house is soon." Grabbing a megaphone from Bellossom, she began to call out to the contestants within the house. "Teams! You only have five more minutes to ensure that the house is as clean or dirty as possible!"

Within the house, all the contestants began rampaging around. The Groudons were hysterically brushing away every speck of dirt, whilst the few remaining Kyogres that hadn't faced the wrath of Lycanroc were attempting to toss rubbish onto the ground as furiously as possible.

"G-guys!" Egg shrieked alarmingly at his brothers. "The house is mostly clean! Incineroar has been following us and making sure that he cleans up every m-mess we make!"

Ex bit his lip. "Damn," he remarked. "That's determination."

"It's annoying!" Tor hissed in response. "But don't worry, we'll be fine. Our team is winning anyways."

"How do you know?"

Tor snarled. "Have you seen the Krokorok? He's been trying to clean the house, but he's only managed to make it even worse! Not only that, but he's also talking to himself; he's literally going crazy. His tail is ruining everything, and no one in the Groudons is helping him because they think he is capable of helping himself. We've got this in the bag." After a loud cackle, he began marching himself and his brethren out of the house proudly, not bothering to look back.

Luxio, who had been listening intently to the conversation between the Egg Brothers, bit his lip anxiously; he ought to be relieved that his team was winning, but rather, he felt a penetrating stab of guilt around his stomach at the thought of his friend being mocked by Tor.

"I need a nucleus for him…" he muttered to himself, pulling out the metallic device. "The missing piece… What could it be?"

He felt his face begin to heat up as he heard a sudden crash in the room next door, which, unmistakably must have been the room that Krokorok was attempting to tidy up. The words Krokorok had spoken to him just a few days ago haunted his mind, forced his brain to think coherently as he wracked it for answers.

" _I'm glad you found that passion. Otherwise I would still be a miserable kleptomaniac with no hope, and you just wouldn't be you."_

Inventing had always been a part of Luxio indeed, and Luxio knew that being a kleptomaniac was just part of who Krokorok was. The only way to replace that, perhaps, was to replace it with another part of Krokorok itself.

His mind becoming hazy with a collection of possible answers, Luxio burst into Krokorok's room.

"Krokorok!" he exclaimed as he stumbled into the room. "Pull out one of your teeth!"

The crocodile, still bewildered from Luxio's entrance, frowned. "Huh?"

"Do it! Trust me!"

After a moment of dubious hesitation, Krokorok reached into his jaw and plucked out a tooth, grimacing at the pain. After shaking away some of the saliva and blood, he handed his tooth to Luxio. "What's it for?"

"The device! I think it needs some part of you for it to work!" Luxio rambled, snatching away the tooth and shoving it into the centre of the device excitedly. Once the tooth was fit into place with a satisfying click, Luxio pressed the device and attached it onto Krokorok's tail.

"Well?" Luxio prodded. "How do you feel?"

Krokorok watched his tail curiously, waiting for it to jerk or spasm as it usually did. To his surprise, his tail remained neutral, only moving when he willed for it to move. The tail was completely under his control.

"Luxio! It works!" Krokorok cheered, reaching over to high-five the inventor. "You're a genius!" Without a second thought, Krokorok began to excitedly test out his tail, using it to tidy up the mess it had made just a few minutes earlier. Within seconds, the room was spotless and neat, without a single scrap of rubbish or an ounce of dirt.

The inventor, who was exhausted, leaned against the wall cheerfully. "That has to be the most difficult case I've had yet!"

"Thank you, Luxio. Thank you so much," Krokorok said sincerely, his eyes beginning to brim with tears. His life could change now; he could once again find friends who would care for him, and no longer be mocked for being diagnosed with kleptomania.

Just before he could celebrate, though, Shaymin burst into the room. "Now! The final room; if this one is clean, then the Groudons win!"

The host had expected the room to be a pigsty; from what she had heard from the Egg Brothers, Krokorok and his tail had completely turned the room inside out. To her surprise, though, there was not a cloud of dust drifting in the air as she examined the room, and not a single piece of furniture out of place. The soot, garbage and dirt from Victini's challenge had completely been dumped into the nearby rubbish bin.

"Well," Shaymin began, glancing at Krokorok and Luxio. "It looks like Krokorok did manage to control his tail and keep the room clean. That means that the Groudons have won today's challenge!"

From the outside of the mansion, Tor's jaw dropped. "But-"

"Suck it, Tree Stooges!" Shaymin called out from the window, howling with laughter. "Killer Kyogres, get your asses to the confessionals and start voting!"

 **0000**

 **Shaymin grinned proudly at the camera. "I've been giving nicknames to all the contestants now! Pineapple Duck, Charlizard, Bacon Pants, Tree Stooges…"**

 **0000**

" **Garchomp really scared me today, and her anger wasn't even targeted at me," Primarina pointed out. "I had expected more empathy from her."**

 **0000**

 **Dragonite crossed his arms, pouting with frustration. "Magikarp is a** _ **meanie**_ **!"**

 **0000**

" **What the** _ **fuck**_ **, Luxio?" Exeggutor growled, ignoring the protests of his brothers as he shook their heads wildly. "Why would you even help an enemy?"**

 **Ex rolled his eyes. "It's what friends do, Tor. Not that you would understand the concept of friends."**

" **I will end you!"**

" **You can't! We share a body!"**

 **Egg, who was in between the two whimpered. "G-guys? Now is not the time for executing each other…"**

" **You mean** _ **Exegguting?**_ **" Ex asked, with a sly grin.**

 **Tor threw his body to the side, so that Ex's face smashed into the wall.**

" **Make that pun again, and I will show you what an Exeggution looks like!"**

 **0000**

Shaymin shook her head exasperatedly as she looked at the Killer Kyogres, who were all propped on logs as they awaited the results of their second ever elimination.

"Come on, guys," Shaymin wailed. "How could you lose this challenge? Wrecking things is a lot easier than cleaning them. I thought your team was great at making a mess."

Meowstic arched his eyebrow. "We lost Porygon-Z, remember?"

"Fair enough," Shaymin admitted with a shrug. "Anyways, congratulations Meowstic, you're safe! And so are: Jigglypuff, Ribombee, Musharna, Banette, Exeggutor, Dragonite, Primarina and Pumpkaboo."

While waiting for the Pokémon to catch their Gracidea flowers and stalk over to the side, Shaymin glanced at her list and looked straight back to the remaining contestants.

After Pumpkaboo hobbled over to the side, Shaymin resumed her speech. "Also safe with zero votes are: Lucario, Pancham, Zoroark, Lurantis and Mimikyu."

Remaining on the logs were Garchomp, Luxio and Magikarp. Luxio was the only Pokémon who seemed at all concerned, biting his lip nervously as he watched the nonchalant and irritated expressions of Magikarp and Garchomp.

"Magikarp, even I'll admit that what you did to Musharna was pretty low," Shaymin stated, her lip twisted into a frown. "But, obviously, the others don't seem to think that because you only have three votes under your name, so you are safe!"

The fish flopped over to the side, barely catching the flower in his mouth. Luxio and Garchomp eyed each other for a moment, before Luxio cowered back slightly from her piercing glare.

Shaymin tilted her head. "Garchomp, you kind of lost your shit for a moment today, didn't you? Slapping Vespiquen and also refusing to help your teammates?" The host shook her head. "That's not really impressive."

"Hurry up, will you?" Garchomp scowled, stomping her foot impatiently as she glowered at the host.

The host ignored her. "Meanwhile, Luxio, you probably shouldn't have helped out Krokorok, because that's what cost your team and made you guys lose."

"But he was my friend!" Luxio protested.

"I know," Shaymin acknowledged. "And I'm assuming your entire team also knew, but it seems like they didn't care because you got eight votes and Garchomp only got six."

The inventor's face fell as the gears in his brain spun around, allowing the information to sink in. Shaymin, tossing a flower towards Garchomp, grinned rather cynically at Luxio.

"Luxio," she announced. "You've been eliminated from this competition."

 **0000**

 **Luxio frowned sadly, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I suppose it's sad that I've been eliminated so early. Who knows what sorts of marvels or inventions I could have created during this journey?"**

 **Glancing wistfully out the window, he sighed.**

" **I'm glad, though, that I helped a friend," Luxio expressed, a small smile beginning to tweak the corner of his mouth. "Krokorok deserved it after everything he has been through. I really hope he wins; either him or Absol, because I know exactly what it's like to be considered a walking disaster and I know they can prove the world wrong about Pokémon like us."**

 **0000**

"Luxio! Wait up!"

The electric-type had just finished throwing his baggage onto the boat when he heard the two voices call behind him. Turning around, he hopped back onto the dock, grinning at the incomers.

"Absol! Krokorok! Hello!" he called out excitedly, before adding with a melancholic smile. "Well, more like goodbye, hey?"

The crocodile scoffed as he reached the end of the dock where Luxio stood, with Absol trailing behind him. Clutching his stomach to catch his breath, Krokorok wheezed, "I just wanted to say a huge thank-you for making me the device. My tail has never been so obedient before!"

"It's no problem," Luxio chided humbly, though a beaming smile was plastered onto his face. "Anything for a friend."

Absol shook his head. "Yeah, but it was very brave of you. I mean, look at you now; you've been eliminated because of your kindness. You really acted with integrity, dude."

"Pancham must be proud of me," Luxio chuckled, before turning seriously to face Krokorok. "Just remember that the device only works on the species of Krokorok since it was a Krokorok tooth that was used. No one else can use that except for a Krokorok, yeah?"

The crocodile nodded in understanding, before beginning to fret with his hands. "Actually… That sort of reminds me…" He and Absol exchanged a hesitant glance, before Absol dug into his sack and pulled out a small toy and handed it to Luxio.

His jaw dropping with wonder, Luxio couldn't help but release a small burst of laughter. The toy that Absol had given him was none other than a plush toy replica of a Luxio itself, complete with blue and black fur and hind paws.

"It's a toy Luxio," the inventor noted. "It's a toy me! Where did you guys get it?"

Krokorok smiled sheepishly. "Let's just say that the black gem wasn't the only thing we stole when we went shopping for Espeon's gift."

"Wow, guys," Luxio marvelled. "Thanks! That was really thoughtful of you."

Absol grinned. "You like it?"

"I love it."

"Good," Absol commented. "Now throw it in the ocean."

Luxio's jaw dropped. " _What_!? Why?"

Reaching over to pat Luxio on the back, Krokorok explained, "Because the toy we got you is only a replica of who you are. And as you've once told me, the originals are always worth much more than the copies."

"So we want you to throw away the toy," Absol continued. "So that you know that you should never try to be anyone else other than yourself, because you are original and cannot be replaced no matter what your father tells you."

His eyes glassy from the hot tears that threatened to spill, Luxio leaned in and embraced his friends.

"Thanks, guys. You're the best," he murmured, before pulling himself away and backing towards the boat. "I'll miss you!"

Just as he heaved himself onto the boat, he took one final glance at the moon that shimmered high between the sprinkle of bedazzling stars. Taking one final breath of the luscious, humid scent that the island beheld, he tossed the toy into the ocean, watching with glee as the water splashed him in return.

He observed the toy, after it was diffused by the bubbling water, sink towards the depths before giving one last glance to his friends as his boat drifted away.

"I'll talk to my dad!" he yelled out to them over the blaring engine of the boat. "I'll tell him that if he wishes that I was someone else, it would be wasting the person I truly am."

Absol and Krokorok both nodded at each other.

"Amen."

* * *

Lurantis shifted uncomfortably in his bed, unable to settle into a decent position to doze off in. Propping himself up, he shuffled around his blankets and fluffed his pillow, his nostrils flaring with frustration as he once again leaned back to find his back itching with stiffness.

"Why the fuck can't I sleep tonight?" he growled to himself, tossing a quick glance at his roommate, Magikarp, to ensure that the fish was still sleeping.

Lifting himself from his bed, Lurantis sifted through his bed sheets, searching for whatever had been causing the discomfort. Finally, when he raised his pillow into the air, a small card slipped out from his pillow case.

Examining the room, Lurantis retrieved the card and eyed the paper carefully. As his eyes greedily absorbed the contents of the card, the grass-type scowled before ripping the paper to shreds and shoving the remaining scraps under the bed.

Yet, even as he slid back into bed and tried to find the gentle lull of sleep, all he could think about were the words that he had read on that sheet of paper.

" _The Wheel of Fortune crushes us all."_

* * *

 **Tomato Soup (maycontestdrew): And oooooooooh shit, we have a reference to the second ever chapter! Now, before I continue, I would like to say a huge thank you to Dranicus101 for submitting Luxio as an OC. He was so adorable to write, and his moments with Absol and Krokorok always make me smile because the squad is so real. I think I'll call these guys the 'Stay Original' crew or something. What did you think of Luxio? Hate him? Love him? Early eliminations always suck, honestly, because there isn't any time to explore the characters without the audience knowing that 'yep, this one is being eliminated'. Though you guys manage to guess well because I make it so very obvious. Fun fact! The next ten eliminations have been foreshadowed! Have fun being paranoid now!**

 **Also, what did you think of Victini? Victini is the host of his very own TPI - Total Pokkemon Island (the double letter is intentional and is what inspired me to add the 'h' in Phokémon. Total Pokkemon Island is by a dear friend named 'Shuckle Master' (fun fact - it is his birthday in a few days!) and it would the best birthday present ever for him if you could check out his story. Just so you know, Victini isn't a one-time thing - he will be showing up several times, so you better get used to him and Shaymin's phone calls. XD What did you think of the phone call itself? And what does everyone think of the ships? Stunfisk x Lucario? Jigglypuff x Ribombee? Espeon x Absol? (Those three are the ones you guys have said – not me!)**

 **Also, yeah, this episode wasn't so heavily based on the challenge itself. In fact, half of the contestants weren't doing shit. XD To be honest, this episode was more of a catch up episode - to clarify the gossip Stunfisk spread and the drama between everyone. I think it was pretty toned down in drama. Oh, apart from the end. And the fact that Garchomp slapped Vespiquen. But you know. XD Our series is such a joke. All other TPI writers are like 'Ayy, we need to think of a challenge that is original and complex - something clever and that will really reinforce the drama'. And then we're just like 'Lol let's make them clean a house'. XD**

 **I hope you enjoyed! No one outrightly suspected Luxio's elimination - so whoever guesses the next one gets a cookie! :D It's been foreshadowed. Oh! And one thing I need to confirm is gender. Gender, in eliminations, plays no part at all. So you've noticed that 4 males have been eliminated in a row - it's not because I'm sexist like Stunfisk! I promise! I don't even bother looking at the gender - I do it entirely based on personality and what they can contribute to the story. :) And no, men are not bastards. Men are amazing. :D**

 **Milk Carton: Hey guys! It's me again :D**

 **Anyways, we've hit over 100 reviews.**

 **One hundred reviews! Just, damn! I'm so thankful for the amount of love we've gotten from you guys, and we'll try our best to keep it up and stay positive :)**

 **You guys are the best and I could never ask for a better group of readers, so thank you all so so much for this.**

 **We'll be pulling some surprises out pretty soon, so be prepared for that! Could you spot any foreshadowing in this chapter?**

 **Something big is going to come to Total Phokémon island soon… can you guess what it is? (HINT: FORESHADOWING)**

 **Now, back to Tomato Soup for:**

 **33rd place: Luxio**

 **He was an inventor who would prioritise his inventions and integrity over anything else, and I think that's something we can all admire in him. He joined the 'Stay Original' squad (squad – not an alliance) together, and it's sad to see them split apart already. He was super chill, but I had to eliminate him because I didn't want to force development for him because it would make everyone hate him because it's just so forced and unnecessary. His friendship with Krokorok, in particular, was sweet, and his inventions always caused him a bit of trouble. The fact that he somehow managed to win his challenge by getting Espeon a fire extinguisher just honestly makes my day. I'll miss this adorable little angel, but I think he had his fair share of screentime and he is the reminder to all of you to stay original!**

 **So… Who is next? XD Find out next time! And please review. And advertise. We need affection!** **And remember the phrase the phrase that Garchomp just said? 'Family is where your heart beats the loudest?' – remember it. XD**


	9. Chapter 9: The Iron Leash

**Chapter VI: The Iron Leash (Easter Special)**

"Okay, let me get this straight," Buneary began, shoving a poffin into her mouth. "You know how to make poffins, _and_ you know how to make them taste good."

Gastly couldn't help but grin as the bunny spoke. Crumbs came flying out of her mouth, and her voice was muffled by the food, yet he was entirely amused and comfortable by that. "Um, yeah," he replied hesitantly.

"They're delicious."

A proud, beaming smile appearing on his face, Gastly took a peek into the bag of poffins he had given Buneary. Suddenly, his jaw dropped.

"You already ate half the bag!?"

"Well, yeah." Buneary shot his a quizzical glance. "Was I supposed to save it or something?"

Gastly cast his eyes to the ground awkwardly. "I… um… wanted to share it around."

"You never told me that."

"Yeah, but I didn't realise that you would eat so much-" Gastly's reasoning was cut off instantly when he saw Buneary glaring at him. "Eep! Don't h-hurt me!"

Buneary sighed, smacking him gently. "Whatever. Bellossom should be serving breakfast soon, so I'm going to the kitchens to get the good berries first. As my friend, you should come with me."

"Friend?" Gastly repeated, seemingly shocked.

The bunny simply rolled her eyes. "Well, 'cowardly escort' is a better description. Or 'reluctant acquaintance', if you want."

"I think I like f-friend."

"Dude!" Buneary exclaimed exasperatedly. "What did I say about speaking softly? You have to be louder!"

"Yes, friend!"

 **0000**

 **Gastly, his face covered in sweat, gasped for air. "Buneary could lead armies into battle. She wouldn't even need to, though. She would single-handedly beat everyone."**

 **0000**

"Morning everyone!" Shaymin greeted as she burst into the dining hall. "I have very exciting news!" She paused for suspense, before continuing, "From now and on, viewers are now allowed to send fan-mail! They can ask questions for you to answer in confessionals, or simple messages."

"That's pretty cool," Meowstic remarked. "But is it original?"

Shaymin scowled. "Shut up, Meowstic. Anyways, we have our first ever fan-mail for the season! And it goes to… Bacon Pants- erm, Lurantis!"

Even Lurantis seemed surprised as he stood up to retrieve the envelope. As he sat back on his seat and began to pry the slip of paper from its envelope, his eyes darted around the room with suspicion, ensuring that no one was being invasive of his privacy.

" _Eyes are the window to your soul,"_ the card read. " _And the Wheel of Fortune sees all."_

After he finished mentally reading the mail, Lurantis immediately shoved the paper into the bin, ignoring the skeptical looks that all the other contestants were giving him.

"Well?" Garchomp demanded. "What did it say?"

Realising that giving a cryptic, ambiguous answer would serve against him as it would arouse suspicion, Lurantis shrugged as his brain wracked itself to come up with a lie.

"Nudes," he answered curtly. "I got asked to send nudes."

The cast snickered, all apart from Stunfisk, who seemed somewhat offended. "Nudes?" she cried out ballistically. "Why would they ask _you_ for nudes and not me?"

Froslass released a hopeless sigh. "Stunfisk, you don't even wear clothes in the first place. At least Lurantis wears pants. You wear nothing; there is no reason for anyone to ask for nudes because you're always nude."

"Nonsense! I demand to be asked for nudes!"

In unison, the cast all whipped their heads around to glare at Stunfisk, all speaking in chorus.

"You're _always_ nude!"

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk shook her head, her lip quivering with hurt. "I feel so violated right now!"**

 **0000**

"Anyways," Shaymin said, after clearing her throat. "Since it's Easter, I thought we'd have a bit of an Easter themed challenge! All you have to do is get into pairs and, in your pairs, you have to find the Easter Bunnies around the island and slay the beast! Then, you must steal the chocolate eggs and bring them back to me. Whichever team collects the most eggs wins!"

Primarina winced. "Slay the Easter Bunny? Isn't that a bit harsh?"

Rolling her eyes, the host scoffed, "No. Now hurry up and get into your pairs, because your time is about to start!"

Lurantis turned to face Garchomp, resting his scythe on her back gently.

"Partners?" he prodded. "Every Shelmet Holmes needs a Watson."

Garchomp shrugged, before smiling thoughtfully. "Sure."

 **0000**

" **I suppose she'll be sick of me teaming up with her for all these challenges," Lurantis acknowledged.**

 **Grinning lazily, he stretched his limbs.**

" **But, now that Charizard is gone, I've got to make sure that the leash doesn't stretch too far."**

 **0000**

" **Shaymin must be using Internet Explorer," Meowstic noted gruffly. "Or some sort of slow browser. Easter was** _ **literally**_ **three weeks ago!"**

 **0000**

As the campers began to disperse from the dining hall, Golisopod skimmed through the crowd until his eyes landed on Dragonite. Threading his way to the large, orange dragon, Golisopod reached out and grabbed his arm.

"Dragonite," he called, before lowering his voice to a whisper. "Who are you paired up with?"

The dragon blinked innocently for a moment, before uncomfortably glancing down towards the floor. "Lor- no, just Magikarp."

"Okay," Golisopod murmured, nodding his head slowly. "Do you remember what I told you on our walk this morning about getting answers from Magikarp?"

"You told me no more childishness, Poddie. Be strong and forwards!"

The arthropod sighed. "Yes, but what did I say about nicknames? A warrior does not come up with childish and embarrassing nicknames. "

"Oh," Dragonite responded, pouting a little. "Okay, Golisopod."

"Good," Golisopod remarked. "Now, do you remember anything else I taught you?"

"Um… yes?"

Folding his arms dubiously, Golisopod smirked. "Okay. So you remember my lesson on swearing?"

"Um…" Dragonite drawled, his face flushing.

"Say fuck."

"Frick frack dilly dack-"

Golisopod cut him off before he could continue. "Okay, never mind." With a supportive grin, he added, "Good luck confronting Magikarp."

"Thanks, Poddie!"

"..."

"I mean, um, Golisopod."

 **0000**

" **Dragonite and I had a good chat this morning," Golisopod admitted. "We want to get rid of Magikarp and his worshippers before they become a threat, and if Dragonite is right about Magikarp being a phony and not a Lord, then our task will be much easier. So we devised a plan for Dragonite."**

 **The arthropod winced, already thinking about how awful the consequences would be.**

" **I'm just not sure if Dragonite is the right person for this plan."**

 **0000**

Trekking their way through the maze of trees, Vespiquen and Salazzle walked in silence, both thinking about the challenge that lay ahead of them. Their task was to find the Easter Bunny, and according to Shaymin, there were several bunnies scattered around the island.

While Salazzle was devising thoughtful plans to steal the Bunny's eggs without any drama, Vespiquen was busy wracking her head, constantly wondering why Garchomp had decided to slap her just a few days ago. Completely by instinct, she raised a delicate finger to her face, gently prodding the area where the crusty scab wound had formed.

"What happened to your face?" Salazzle asked abruptly, watching as Vespiquen nimbly moved her finger away from the cut.

The Queen Bee shrugged, almost sheepish. "Garchomp slapped me." As she spoke, her voice didn't expose any of the hurt, bafflement or agony that was coursing through her body. Keeping her tone steady and factual, she added, "In the last challenge, she slapped me."

" _Slapped_ you?" Salazzle spluttered, arching her brow. "Not a Dragon Claw, or a Flamethrower?"

Vespiquen's eyes widened marginally as she imagined being burnt to ashes by Garchomp's flame. She shuddered before forcing the image out of her head. "Does Garchomp even know Flamethrower?"

"I sure hope not," Salazzle smirked. "Otherwise she'll be a _fire-breathing_ -bitch-queen."

* * *

"Froslass?"

"..."

Stunfisk released a heavy sigh. _"Froslass_!"

"What?" Froslass snapped, pointing a cold glare towards the self-proclaimed model.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" Stunfisk asked whiningly, her voice high-pitched as she winged. "You've been ignoring me this entire challenge!"

"It's only been a few minutes."

Stunfisk nodded intently. "Exactly! Five minutes, and you haven't complimented me! Why don't you want to just talk to me?"

"Because I don't trust you," Froslass curtly responded, drifting forwards at a quicker speed. She had not wanted to be Stunfisk's partner for this challenge, but really, no one wanted to; so she had no choice but to pair up with the ground-type.

"I don't want to talk to you," Froslass explained. "Because I don't trust you."

"Why?"

Froslass felt her eye begin to twitch with agitation. "You'd spin everything I say into a lie, so you could gossip all day and make up some false rumour about me."

The model's mouth dropped open with horror, scoffing as if she were offended. "Why would I _ever_ do that? Surely you can trust me!"

Tilting her head to the side condescendingly, Froslass scowled.

"I _really_ don't think you want to get into a conversation about _trust_ right now."

 **0000**

 **Froslass groaned, locking her twitching eye with the camera. "I will only talk to Stunfisk when she decides to take her head out of her ass."**

 **0000**

"Okay," Incineroar began, resting a finger on his temple as he thought carefully. "Where would an Easter Bunny be?" He shot a hesitant glare towards Lycanroc. "And don't you _dare_ say on a meat train-"

"Underground?" Lycanroc suggested abruptly. "Bunnies like to dig."

Blinking back his surprise, Incineroar stared at Lycanroc, flabbergasted. "I… Yeah. That's a good idea. There are caves nearby, so maybe there? I saw lots of holes there."

They began to amble down towards the caves, when Lycanroc suddenly began barking.

"I smell the meat train!"

Incineroar sighed heavily, stopping to dig his heels in the ground as he spat at Lycanroc. " _Seriously_? A minute of pleasant conversation, and then the territorial meat bicycle comes raging out."

"I waited an extra thirty seconds before mentioning it!"

"I thought you'd last ten."

* * *

"I still can't believe you slapped her," Lurantis remarked to Garchomp, though it was a rather blatant lie. As soon as he had seen the envy and rage brim along with the hot tears in Garchomp's eyes, he knew that someone was going to have to face her wrath.

Almost fondly, Garchomp snickered. "I'm sure it taught her a lesson."

"Yeah?" Lurantis urged. "Was slapping her really the right thing to do?"

Garchomp rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Sometimes, there won't be a right choice; there will only be the best of several bad options."

 **0000**

" **Best of several bad options," Lurantis drawled, relishing each hard consonant. "At least that is something I can agree with her on."**

 **0000**

"Okay, so first, I'm going to distract the Easter Bunny by slaying her," Buneary instructed to Gastly. "Then, while I do that, you're going to grab the Easter egg and run back to the home base."

Gastly nodded, his eyes fixed with determination. "Yes, ma'am!"

"And then I'll slam this Easter Bunny with a big thump, and show her who the real alpha bunny is."

"Okay!"

Her head shaking with sudden thought, she glanced up at the sky as she murmured, "Judging by the weather, I think we can get at least six hours of training done tonight!"

" _W-what_?" Gastly spluttered, his features contorting with dismay. "But we trained for so long this morning-"

"How sad, too bad," Buneary shrugged. "Training is important. Now let's go and find this Easter Bunny so we can do more training."

Gastly sagged a little as he trailed behind the sprightly bunny. "Sure thing, Buneary."

 **0000**

" **Mummy would ground me for staying up so late and sneaking out so early in the morning!" Gastly exclaimed, his voice quivering with worry. "Even worse, I'm sneaking out with a** _ **girl**_ **!"**

 **He glanced down at a piece of paper that was lying on the ground, before muttering, "I actually got some mail from my mummy. It says…** _ **Dear my baby boy… I hope you're oka**_ **y...** _ **I sent you a small package..**_ **." the ghost-type's words drifted off as he read the letter, and his face began creasing with embarrassment and concern. He turned to face the camera, his cheeks swelling red.**

" **Mummy sent me a condom!" he shrieked, before spinning around in circles as he rampaged around the room. "I am too young for this responsibility! Where do I even** _ **wear**_ **it!?"**

 **0000**

"What's wrong, Lucario?" Pancham asked softly, looking up to watch the Pokémon beside him. "You look upset. Is it about slaying the Easter Bunny?"

Lucario revealed a bashful smile before confessing, "Yeah. What if she is a girl? I couldn't possibly hurt a female, for the sake of the challenge or not. No exceptions!"

"Not even one?"

"Not even one," Lucario confirmed, crossing his arms stubbornly.

Pancham grinned mischievously. "What about… Victreebel?"

Wincing at the thought, Lucario batted away the question with his hand. "We both know Victreebel is an exception to everything," he commented, before his gaze fell back down to the ground, his mouth twisting into a frown.

"Come on, Lucario," Pancham persisted earnestly. "There's more to your solemnity than just the Easter Bunny."

Lucario sighed, before running a hand through his appendages. "I can't help but feel guilty about Charizard's elimination. Did I somehow indirectly cause it?"

"Oh, Lucario," Pancham began, inhaling deeply, his face beaming. "I have something to tell you-"

"Is it about your tribe?"

"-about my tribe!"

The aura Pokémon shook his head bemusedly. "Called it."

Oblivious to the remark, the panda began to ramble away. "My tribe has taught me that, no matter what happens, we must keep getting back up; no matter how many times girls and their gossip shove us down!"

Lucario wisely remained silent, his eyebrow arching as the small Pokémon continued passionately.

"You mustn't feel sorry for yourself. Stay on course, but also plot another one. Adapt!"

"And here comes the part about integrity, right?" Lucario asked playfully, chuckling as Pancham's jaw dropped.

"H-hey!" Pancham yelped. "Are you making fun of me? Do you want to fight me? Because I will! I will-"

Lucario reached down and plucked the small panda from the ground, watching amusedly as Pancham shook his limbs in an attempt to free himself from Lucario's grasp.

"Let me go! Just because I'm small, doesn't mean I'm not strong!"

Grinning, Lucario threw Pancham onto his shoulders and continued walking down the path way. "Relax, little dude," he offered, soothingly. "No need to fight me. We have an Easter Bunny to slay."

 **0000**

" **Ugh," Pancham rasped. "I hate it when others take advantage over the fact that I'm short." His eyebrows furrowed, his nose scrutinising with disgust.**

" **Besides, I'm not short!" he protested, before adding matter-of-factly. "I just happen to be more down to earth than everyone else."**

 **0000**

"Hurry, you hulking ass!" Golisopod hissed towards his partner, who was hobbling behind him. "We have an Easter Bunny to slay!"

Shroomish, the designated partner of the arthropod, scowled. "Excuse me? You're bigger than me, and you actually have legs. It's not my fault I can't keep up!"

The arthropod only snickered. "Please. Even if I had no legs, I'd still already have trashed that Easter Bunny by now."

The small mushroom twitched his eye. While he had thought Golisopod would be a good companion, seeing his recent kindness towards Dragonite, he had forgotten about his tendencies to brag.

"Did I mention that I won a competition for the most attractive biceps? Also-"

After a heavy sigh, Shroomish politely interrupted the Pokémon. "If you have to brag about all the material things in your life, there probably isn't much else to you, is there?"

Golisopod's jaw dropped in sudden surprise. "But…."

"That's what I thought."

* * *

"Talk like an adult… Talk like an adult…"

After a moment of hearing Dragonite's relentless muttering, Magikarp turned to growl at the orange dragon, while saying, "Why are you saying that to yourself? You've been chanting it since we've begun seeking the Easter Bunny."

Dragonite eyed the fish carefully. "Because I'm going to start talking like an adult from now and on."

"Why?"

"So I can destroy you."

 **0000**

" **Talking like an adult is** _ **hard**_ **," Dragonite whined, flopping onto the beanbag. "You have to use all these fancy words to sound… Sophocles? Sophisticated? Photosynthesis?"**

 **0000**

Zoroark stopped her furious pacing, leaning against a tree bark to allow Primarina to catch up to her. Once the water-type had managed to slither a bit further, Zoroark offered a sympathetic smile.

"How about we rest for a while?" she offered, watching as Primarina's face brightened with relief.

"That's an excellent idea," Primarina agreed, inhaling deeply. "That way, we can also plan out where we are going to look, rather than aimlessly exploring the island."

Zoroark grunted in accord. "Yeah. Where do you think the Easter Bunny would be, anyways?"

"I'm not sure," Primarina confessed, biting her lip. "I didn't even know an Easter Bunny existed. I've heard of the Easter Bunnelby…"

"And the Easter Buneary," Zoroark added, before her eyes widened.

Primarina gasped suddenly. "Wait, are you suggesting…?"

The dark-type nodded in response.

"You bet I am."

* * *

"What are you looking at!? Do you want to fight me?"

"Tor, I _really_ think you should be quiet-"

"No!"

Meowstic sighed heavily as he watched the Egg Brothers bicker away, his fur beginning to prickle and tangle itself as he felt increasingly frustrated. Every time Tor had passed by an innocent grass-type Pokémon, in particular the Bellsprout, he would shriek at them in fury, asking whether they wanted to battle him. Of course, the Bellsprout would disperse back into the forests; but that never stopped Exeggutor from trying to continuously pick fights with the inhabitants of the island.

After watching Tor scare away another innocent little Bellsprout, Meowstic grabbed the leave atop the Egg Brothers' hand and gently tugged them towards him.

"Are you going to get into a pissing contest with every person we meet?" he asked, throwing a pointed look to all three of the brothers. "Because, if that's the case, then it'll take us a week to find the Easter Bunny, and I doubt all the grass-types here will be happy."

Ex grinned brightly. "See, Tor? Levitating Feline agrees with me!"

"Y-yeah," Egg agreed, whimpering as Tor glared at him.

"Whatever," Tor huffed, before grunting furiously and marching forwards silently.

Meowstic exhaled, rolling his eyes. " _Finally_ \- wait, Levitating Feline?"

 **0000**

" **I don't like Levitating Feline," Tor declared.**

 **Egg and Ex only shook their heads, exasperated.**

" **You don't like** _ **anyone**_ **," Ex pointed out.**

 **Tor only smiled wistfully, glancing longingly at the window. "I like Magikarp."**

" _ **What**_ **!?"**

 **0000**

"Banette?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think I'm fat?"

Banette blinked in surprise, whipping her head to face Pumpkaboo with bewilderment written all over her face. "Pardon?"

"Do you think I'm fat?" Pumpkaboo repeated, her eyes wide as she watched the ghost-type flounder for words.

"Er… no?"

Pumpkaboo grinned brightly. "Thank Lord Magikarp! That means that we can be friends."

"It does?" Banette asked, completely mystified by the pumpkin's outburst.

"Yeah!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed, before explaining, "It means that I can gobble down a box of chocolates without you telling me to watch my figure or anything. In fact, you can eat chocolate with me, since that's what friends do. You like chocolates, don't you?"

Banette nodded her head shyly. "I love chocolate. I erm… bought some with me, actually. I heard Gastly had made some poffins, so I thought poffins and chocolate would make a good combination."

"Wait," Pumpkaboo interjected, seemingly startled. "You brought… chocolate?"

"Um… yeah?"

Pumpkaboo squealed in delight. "That's it! You're officially my new favourite person!" She watched Banette chuckle for a moment, before adding, "Tonight, me, you and Gastly should stay up eating chocolate and poffins until we vomit."

"You're such a refined young lady, aren't you?" Banette quipped, giggling as the pumpkin danced around.

"Please," Pumpkaboo snickered. "As Shakespeare has told us, we are all wild beasts wearing human skin. Don't try to deny it."

* * *

Skitty stopped running so she could catch her break, kneeling over in exhaustion. "Espeon?" she called out to her partner. "Could you slow down, maybe?"

"No," the psychic-type curtly responded, continuing to saunter forwards.

Huffing away her fatigue, Skitty once again jumped onto her feet and trailed after her partner, asking, "Where are we even going?"

"I hear hell is particularly nice at this time of the year."

Skitty's eyes widened, and she stopped dead in her tracks. "Hell? Oh, _hell_ no!"

 **0000**

 **Groaning, Espeon tilted her head backwards. "Does** _ **no one**_ **understand the concept of sarcasm?"**

 **0000**

Bouncing along the edges of the cliff, Magikarp's eye twitched as he watched the Dragonite.

"Wait, so _why_ are you talking like an adult?"

His face scrunching up with frustration, the orange dragon puckered his lips stubbornly. "Because Poddie - I mean, Golisopod - said that I sound stupid when I don't."

"And why do you need to stop sounding stupid?"

"So I can confront you."

Magikarp suddenly released a hard, brittle choke of laughter. "Confront _me_? Alone?"

"Well," Dragonite started, folding his arms as he arched an eyebrow. His mind was reeling with frantic thoughts, unsure of how to utilise the swear words Golisopod had taught him to use so effectively. After a deep breath in, he wiped all the emotion off his face as he scowled. "Lycanroc and Pumpkaboo are too busy kissing your ass that I have a hard time imagining them ever coming to terms with the truth."

His jaw dropping, Magikarp stopped flopping on the ground, his voice grave as he muttered, "And what is the truth?"

"You're not Lord Magikarp."

"And how would you know?" the fish asked, a hint of amusement trickling through his voice.

Dragonite puffed out his chest proudly. "Because you carry around an Everstone."

"So?"

"Legendaries - including a Lord Magikarp - don't evolve."

The bemusement that had been flickering on Magikarp's face had disappeared immediately, and was replaced with utter resentment. "Are you saying that I'm fake? How _dare_ you accuse me of such profanities!"

"It's not an accusation," Dragonite retorted. "It's a statement."

Without another word, Magikarp threw himself onto Dragonite, forcing the dragon to stumble backwards. They both fell to the ground in a tangled heap, Dragonite clawing at the Magikarp that was bouncing on his chubby stomach mercilessly.

"Stop!" Dragonite shrieked. "We're on the edge of a cliff!"

Magikarp only hissed. "I don't care."

With a jerk, Magikarp flopped onto the Dragonite once again, shoving him off the edge. Just as Dragonite began to tumble off the cliff, he grabbed Magikarp by a long whisker and pulled him down with him.

As they plummeted through the air, Magikarp glanced down, his face paling as he saw the cluster of trees beneath them.

"Dragonite!" he growled. "You can fly! Grab me and fly, otherwise we'll fall into the forest!"

The dragon-type only shook his head, winking slyly at the fish as he echoed the words spoken not too long ago.

"I don't care."

With that, they both smashed into the thorny branches, the entire world slamming them down to the ground.

 **0000**

 **Zoroark's eyes were wide as she sat stiffly on the beanbag. "Did I just see Magikarp and Dragonite, in the midst of a brawl, push each other off the cliff?"**

 **0000**

"Looks like we know who will be getting eliminated if their team loses," Espeon remarked, watching as the silhouettes of both Dragonite and Magikarp tumbled off the cliff.

Skitty, oblivious to this, blinked. "Huh? Who will get out?"

"Either Dragonite or Magikarp."

"Why?"

Rolling her eyes, Espeon shrugged. "It doesn't matter. What does matter is that we're here." She gestured a large cavern amongst the murky mountain range, tainted with small bones, Zubat droppings and dirt. Shadowed by the cave walls was a wickedly twisted pathway.

"The Easter Bunny is in there?" Skitty asked, peering in to see the ominous granite walls, fabricated completely by Spininark webs.

"Yep," Espeon replied, before glancing up to the sky as the gears of her mind spun in order to formulate a sort of plan. "Easter Bunnies are supposed to be nice, so if we can just get the Easter Bunny to willingly give us an egg out of its own sheer kindness, it'll save us some trouble."

Skitty jumped at the idea. "Yes! Maybe we can just ask politely?"

"No."

"Beg? Plead? Cry? Scream-"

"Hold up," Espeon interrupted, the corner of her lip twitching. "If you act like you're crying, maybe the Easter Bunny will feel sorry for you and give you an egg…"

Squinting her nose, Skitty pondered on it for a moment before adding, "And maybe you can pretend to be mean to me, so that we can get more sympathy from her so she will give us the egg quicker?"

"Yes," Espeon concurred coolly, before grinning slyly. "Though, it wouldn't really be pretending, would it?"

"Huh?"

Espeon rolled her eyes as she examined Skitty's innocent, dumbfounded expression. "It doesn't matter. What does matter is the fact that this plan is excellent."

"You mean… egg-cellent?"

Closing her eyes, Espeon slammed her head against the nearest tree, huffing as she heard Skitty chuckle softly to her own pun.

 **0000**

" **I hope the person who created the first ever pun died a horrible, horrible death," Espeon scowled, her eye twitching.**

 **0000**

"Wild beasts wearing human skin?" Banette repeated, thinking carefully about the quotation Pumpkaboo had just told her moments ago. "But you're inside a pumpkin, not human skin. You're a spirit beneath pumpkin skin."

"Hey!" Pumpkaboo cried out, visibly offended. "Well… You're a spirit too, but you don't even have any skin."

Banette giggled. "Not just me, but Gastly too."

"Oh my Magikarp!" Pumpkaboo abruptly exclaimed with a gasp. "The three of us - me, you and Gastly - can be the Chocolate-Eating Spirit Squad!"

"We should do that," Banette agreed excitedly. "We should invite Mimikyu too!"

"And Froslass!"

 **0000**

 **Pumpkaboo danced around the confessionals, a microphone in her hands as she sung, "** _ **Who runs the world? Ghosts! Who runs the world? Ghosts, ghosts!**_ **"**

 **0000**

"It's here," Espeon whispered furiously to Skitty. "The Easter Bunny - I can hear it."

They padded down the path, until the sound of rummaging and scavenging had come to a climax. Peering over the rocky ledge, Espeon's jaw dropped.

"What is it?" Skitty asked hastily, her eyes alight with concern as Espeon shook her head.

After taking another peek over her shoulder Espeon stifled a snicker. "The Easter Bunny…" she tried to explain, her nostrils flaring as she held back another burst of cynical laughter. "The Easter Bunny is _Victreebel_."

Sure enough, Skitty noted as she took a peek for herself, Victreebel sat beside a foil-wrapped egg, gazing at a nearby wall in some sort of trance. To Skitty's amusement, Victreebel was wearing a false set of Bunny Ears, with a small tuft of white fur glued to her backside as if it were a tail.

Choking on her laughter, Skitty piped up, "How do we get the egg off Victreebel? Our plan won't work; Victreebel is too mean to sympathetically give us the egg."

"Don't worry," Espeon reassured her with a wink. "Victreebel and I are best buddies."

Without hesitating, Espeon tore herself away from the ledge and strolled confidently towards Victreebel.

"Victreebel," she mused. "How much is Shaymin paying you to wear _that_?"

The grass-type blinked back her surprise, before replying, "Oh, why sweetie, Shaymin isn't paying me a penny, for there is no need to! She is paying me with her kindness."

Espeon's jaw dropped as she heard the Victreebel speak in her gentle, fluid voice. Gone was the poetry, the loathing and the menace of the Victreebel she had befriended rather recently.

"What has happened to you?" Espeon asked abruptly, eyeing the Victreebel with disdain. "Why are you being _nice_?"

Victreebel furrowed her eyebrows. "Why, kindness is what makes the world go round, my sweet!"

Backing away, Espeon hissed to Skitty. "This is not the Victreebel we know."

"Does that mean that we can continue with our plan?" Skitty asked in a hushed voice.

"I think so."

Skitty leapt up from behind the rocks, making a show of tripping over the small pebbles before falling face-first into the ground. Promptly, she burst into tears. Loud, blubbering _hu-hu-hu_ tears.

"T-that hurt," Skitty wailed, clutching at her stomach.

Raising a paw, Espeon smacked her own face. Skitty had pretended to fall flat on her face, but now she was clutching at her stomach; Victreebel wouldn't be fooled by those pathetic acting skills. To her surprise, though, Victreebel only gushed.

"Oh, sweetie!" Victreebel came running over to where Skitty lay on the ground. "Is there any way I can make you feel better?"

"Um… Give me your Easter Egg?" Skitty asked, trying to forcing herself to wince in pain.

Espeon shook her head, exasperated, while mentally thinking to herself, _"Wow, Skitty. Way to be subtle_."

"Of course, dearie!" Victreebel exclaimed, throwing a vine from her body and wrapping it around the egg. Pulling the egg towards herself, Victreebel pushed the egg towards Skitty. "Here you go, darling."

"Thank you!" Skitty beamed, before rolling the egg out of the cavern. Espeon, her eyes wide in surprise, trailed after the cat, completely speechless.

 **0000**

" **I have no idea why Victreebel was being nice for once** _ **or**_ **why she was the Easter Bunny," Skitty professed, grinning. "But I'm not complaining!"**

 **0000**

"Hey, Victreebel," Haxorus greeted, smiling cheerfully. "I passed by Skitty and Espeon on my way here, and apparently, you're really nice today. But then they told me I was going the wrong way, but whoop-dee-doo, I found you anyways!"

Victreebel glowered at her, her glare as sharp as daggers.

Her smile becoming sheepish, Haxorus continued her ramble, "Um… You know, you can be friendly to me too! No need to glare at me like that."

The grass-type only sharpened his gaze.

Haxorus laughed nervously. "Okay, then. I have no idea why you're being cold to me and nice to Skitty, but I don't exactly appreciate it, you know."

"Get lost," Victreebel replied curtly, her eyes not daring to leave Haxorus.

"Not a chance!" Haxorus insisted. "We're going to be friends, you hear me? Do you like ice-cream, because I do; roller-skating too. We can be best buddies, if you like roller-skating."

Victreebel scowled. "I have no business with roller-skating unless it means that you'll roller-skate out of here."

Unfazed by the harsh, cold tone of Victreebel's voice, Haxorus grinned before whipping out a pair of roller-skates. "Well, Victreebel, it's your lucky day! I happen to carry around a spare set of roller-skaters everywhere I go." She tossed the pair of shoes towards Victreebel, who only hissed in response.

"Leave. Me. Alone."

Haxorus waved away Victreebel's glare. "Come on. Just put them on! Your feet can't be _that_ big; you're a girl, after all. Boys are the ones who usually have big feet. You know what they say: the longer the feet, the longer the-"

"The longer the _what_?"

Her eyes flickering towards the exit, Haxorus forced a pained smile onto her face. "The longer the… um… Giggle Stick?"

Victreebel roared, her mouth wide open as she lunged for Haxorus. Yelping in surprise, Haxorus dashed towards the exit.

"Noctowl!" Haxorus called out. "Now!"

As soon as Victreebel had stepped out of the cavern, Noctowl swooped in at an incredible speed, reaching down and plucking the egg that had been concealed towards the end of the cave.

"Got it!" Noctowl exclaimed with glee, her talons tightly gripping the egg as she flew out of the cavern and back into the open air. "Well done, Haxorus! I'll be sure to find you a new set of roller-skates!"

"Don't worry," Haxorus assured, turning back to see whether Victreebel was still pursuing her. To her relief, the Victreebel had retreated back into the cavern. She halted her frenzied running and leaned against the nearby tree. "Let's just get this egg back to Shaymin."

* * *

"Are you _sure_ this is a good idea?" Krokorok asked as he and Absol crept into the depths of the forest.

Absol shrugged away the crocodile's concern. "Relax, will you? I've done this prank _heaps_ of time."

The duo had found Victreebel, adorned with ridiculously fluffy and pink Easter Bunny ears, sleeping near a lake, the egg left isolated beside her. Krokorok was already creeping forward to try snatching away the egg, but Absol had other plans.

"All I need to do is get this bowl of water beside Victreebel, and put one of her vines inside it. While she's sleeping, she should accidently, you know, wet herself!" Absol explained, guffawing.

Krokorok only shook his head. "Alright, prankster prowess. Just don't have any accidents-" Just as the words escaped his mouth, he watched in horror as Absol tripped over his own feet. The bowl of water that was so carefully balanced on his head went flying into the air, and water came sloshing down onto Victreebel's face.

"Aw, shit," Krokorok murmured, biting his fingers nervously as Victreebel's eyes snapped open.

"WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY SLUMBER?"

Absol, backing away in a helpless stumble, bumped into Krokorok. "Should we be running?" he asked the crocodile, his eyes locked securely on the furious Victreebel in front of him.

"YOU FOOLS! I WILL END YOU!"

Grabbing Absol by the tail, Krokorok gulped. "We should be running like hell."

"EURGH!"

 **0000**

 **Panting rapidly, Absol grimaced at the camera. "Skitty said that Victreebel was in a good mood today!"**

 **0000**

Garchomp and Lurantis had found themselves in a lavish grotto, surrounded by untamed flowers and weeds. Though they had found the Easter Bunny Victreebel, this one was vastly different in comparison to the Victreebel that the others had faced. While Skitty and Espeon had found a kind Victreebel, Haxorus and Noctowl had found a rather rude Victreebel and Absol and Krokorok had confronted a downright terrifying one, the Easter Bunny they had found was simply lazy.

"Bellsprout, Weepinbell," the Victreebel groaned. "Fight these intruders for me."

Both of them frowning, Garchomp and Lurantis exchanged glances as the summoned grass-types came flocking around them.

"I'll fight them, and you take the egg?" Garchomp suggested.

Lurantis shrugged. "Will you be able to handle all of them?"

"Of course," Garchomp snickered. "I'm a warrior."

"A lover and a fighter, hey?"

Garchomp rolled her eyes, watching carefully as Lurantis shrunk into the shadows, presumably to find a subtle approach to the egg. Without wasting a second, Garchomp eyed her competition - the hundreds of Weepinbells and Bellsprouts that now surrounded her - and then glanced proudly at the scythes along her arms.

"Hello, gorgeous," she murmured to the scythes.

Then, she was upon the grass-types, slicing and twirling and ducking. Fifteen of them were already unconscious before the others could even move.

As each of them fell unconscious by a hit from Garchomp, they gagged an awful scent, like curdled milk and vinegar. The reek grew, overpowering the dust that rose from the trees as Garchomp swept past them, swiping away with her scythes.

Garchomp watched with detest as a Weepinbell lunged for her, its mouth opened up like a festering wound, and she dodged the grass-type and swiped low, throwing it far into the bushes.

Grass-type after grass-type tumbled down at her feet, and once she was sure she was finished, Garchomp leaned against the tree, waiting. To her relief, none of them rose from their unconscious slumber.

Lurantis suddenly appeared at her side, an egg wrapped within in foil in his arms.

"A warrior, indeed," he remarked, before he and Garchomp stalked away into the shadows.

* * *

"So…" Shroomish began awkwardly, taking another peek at the Victreebel who was standing beside a river, her eyes fierce as she paced around her egg protectively. "How are we going to get that egg from Victreebel?"

His lips creased into a frown, Golisopod eyed the Victreebel carefully. Suddenly, his mouth curled into an almost sadistic grin as he declared. "I have a plan." He turned to give Shroomish a wink. "And you, Shroomish, play a vital role in it."

Shroomish gulped.

 **0000**

" **Join Total Phokémon Island, they said," Shroomish muttered to himself, almost hysterically. "It'll be fun, they said. Everyone will look after you, they said."**

 **He released a frustrated groan.**

" **They freaking lied!"**

 **0000**

"Just get the egg and go already!" Lucario called out from inside Victreebel's mouth.

He and Pancham had managed to find a Victreebel Easter Bunny, but to their dismay, the Victreebel they had was simply hungry. She had instantly gripped onto Lucario with a vine and shoved him into her mouth, relishing the crunch as he pounded her from the inside.

Pancham bit his lip, pulling the egg closer to his chest. "I can't just leave you, Lucario! There is no integrity in that!"

"You're _still_ on about that integrity stuff?" Lucario asked with a sigh. "I'll be fine, dude. She'll spit me out eventually. All ladies do."

The panda winced. "Eww. I did _not_ need to hear that."

"Um… whoops?"

"Anyways," Pancham said with a sigh. "I'm not leaving without you."

Dropping the egg to the ground, Pancham stormed up to Victreebel and, without hesitating, slammed his small fist into her stomach. The grass-type gagged in response, her mouth forcing itself open as she coughed.

Just as she choked out a moist, fleshy cough, Lucario came sprawling out of her mouth, landing on the ground with a thud.

"Quick! Before she tries to eat you again!" Pancham cried, grasping for the egg and running his way to the exit.

"Coming!" Lucario replied, wiping some of Victreebel's slobber from his face and jumping onto his feet. As he neared Pancham, he lifted the small panda onto his shoulders, and darted away.

After a few minutes of running, Lucario came to a stop, allowing himself to catch his breath. "Thanks," he puffed to Pancham. "That was a spectacular rescue. Let's never do it again."

* * *

Incineroar stared at the cavern before him, anxiously noting the crumbling state of the cave, distinctly aware that even the most subtle of movements could lead to the structure caving in.

"Alright," he sighed, turning to face Lycanroc. "You are _not_ going to hunt the Easter Bunny with me."

"Yes, I am!" Lycanroc responded eagerly.

Incineroar shook his head adamantly. "No, you're not. One, you're too loud and unsubtle-" before he could finish his argument, Lycanroc had already leapt inside the cavern.

"Lycanroc!" Incineroar fumed, before stalking into the cavern. "Get back here!"

As he entered the cave, he found himself struggling to restrain his laughter. Within the depths of the cavern was Victreebel, dolled up in frilly Easter decorations, chewing Lycanroc in her mouth.

"I looked in the heart of darkness and ate it all!" Lycanroc shrieked from within Victreebel's stomach. "Get me out of here now!"

Incineroar only scoffed. "No, you deserve to be eaten by that menace! That's what you get for not following simple instructions-"

He was cut off by Victreebel, who had conjured up a large ball of spit in the back of her throat. After a retching sound, she spat Lycanroc out of her mouth, firing him straight towards Incineroar.

The fire-type could only curse as the ball that was Lycanroc shot straight towards him.

"Oh shit."

 **0000**

 **Incineroar scowled at the slobber in his hands. "Lycanroc** _ **needs**_ **to go," he demanded, his nostrils flaring.**

 **0000**

"Put me down!" Victreebel screeched.

Meowstic only shrugged. "No can do, sorry."

The feline, utilising his psychic skills, had left Victreebel floating in midair as the Egg Brothers rummaged around the grotto, hunting down the egg.

After a while, Tor finally stomped his foot. "I found it!"

Releasing a sigh of relief, Meowstic padded over to wear the Egg Brothers stood and lifted up the egg. Suddenly, a frown etched its way onto his face.

"Are you _sure_ this is a chocolate egg?" Meowstic asked, weighing the egg in his hands. "It's too heavy to be a simple chocolate egg."

"I a-agree!" Egg managed to squeal out, before being interrupted by Tor.

"Not a chance!" Tor hissed, scowling at his brother. "I was once an egg! I know my eggs! This is the right one!"

Ex shrugged helplessly, exchanging a weak smile with Meowstic. "Well… If you insist, Tor."

* * *

Absol and Krokorok were still sprinting as they approached the cafeteria, where several of the contestants who had already returned successfully with eggs were resting. Upon seeing them, Shaymin grinned.

"Did you guys get the eggs?" Shaymin asked, her head tilted to the side.

"Yes!" Absol exclaimed.

Krokorok simultaneously huffed. "No, we didn't."

The two boys exchanged startled looks. "But, surely, your tail-" Absol began to protest, glancing at Krokorok's tail.

"My tail doesn't steal anymore! Remember?"

" _Oh_."

Cackling at the boys, Shaymin wiped away a tear. "Don't worry, guys. Your team isn't losing _just_ yet; it's a tie, in fact. The Groudons are on two points, and the Kyogres are also on two points."

"Well," Krokorok offered. "I guess that is sort of a relief."

Espeon rolled her eyes. "Don't get too excited; we're not winning either. If we lose, you guys might be on the chopping block."

"That's reassuring," Absol quipped, earning himself a scowl from the psychic-type.

 **0000**

" **Even Skitty is better than that obnoxious piece of Ratata's ass," Espeon hissed, glowering at the camera. "If we lose, he is out."**

 **0000**

" _Run_!"

Her grip like iron on the egg, Salazzle dashed through the forest, with Vespiquen trailing behind her. The two had managed to snatch the egg away from Victreebel, only to be pursued by an angry mob of grass-types.

Silently, the two of them rushed past the trees that barricaded their path, weaving through the woods until they found a narrow passage.

"This way," Vespiquen instructing, heaving herself past several rocks as she threw herself down the path.

Salazzle followed suit without muttering a word, and the two crouched behind several of the rocks, watching with relief as the enraged flock of grass-types ran past them.

"That was close," Vespiquen gasped, her eyes lingering on the egg, before darting back up to lock with Salazzle's. "You were awfully calm for someone being chased by a wild witch-hunt-esque mob of grass-types."

The reptile only scoffed. "You know, after being chased by Victreebel and Exeggutor, being chased by fifty-seven Bellsprouts is not that horrifying."

The both smiled fondly for a moment, waiting for the furious shouts from the grass-types to cease. After a moment, Vespiquen frowned.

"Salazzle?"

"Hm?"

Rubbing her hands together uncomfortably, Vespiquen felt her shoulders rise with tension. "I was wondering if you could keep the whole Garchomp-slapping thing a secret. I don't want people knowing that she hurt me; not until I found out why she did it. I don't want to cause any unnecessary drama."

"If you insist," Salazzle said with a shrug.

"Thank you."

Salazzle gave her a pointed look. "I'm still going to call her a fire-breathing-bitch-queen."

"I… But…" Vespiquen rolled her eyes playfully. " _Fine_."

* * *

"Hurry up, Gastly!" Buneary barked, as she threw another kick towards Victreebel. "I'm distracting her, so just grab the egg and run!"

"Okay!" Gastly responded, floating hastily towards the egg in the corner. He drifted towards the ground, lowering himself so he could clasp onto the egg. It was when the shroud of purple haze around him completely went through the egg that he realised his problem.

"Um… Buneary?"

"What is it?" Buneary grunted, before lunging forwards with another punch. "Hurry up! I can't fight her all day!"

"I'm a ghost."

Buneary huffed as she stepped hastily to the side, dodging one of Victreebel's many vines. "Wow. Thank you for that enlightening statement. Now hurry up and get the egg!"

"I'm a _ghost_!"

"I heard you the first time!" Buneary exclaimed.

Gastly, even more frantically than before, began to hyperventilate. "I have no tangible limbs!"

"So?"

"I CAN'T PICK UP THE EGG!"

" _Oh_ ," Buneary managed to say, before Victreebel swallowed her whole.

* * *

"Not _again_ ," Mimikyu huffed, sagging into the ground as she glanced at the Victreebel in front of her. "I should have brought my tractor."

Musharna, though her eyes were closed, began to mutter quietly. "Let her eat me…"

"Eat y-you?"

"Yes…" Musharna breathed out. "Eat me…"

Mimikyu watched, mystified, as Musharna drifted towards Victreebel. Instinctively, the grass-type dropped her jaw and opened her mouth, and Mimikyu watched with horror as Musharna flew straight into the mouth.

"Musharna!" she cried out, hopping out of her hiding spot to sprint up to Victreebel. "Let her go, you m-monster! Spit her out!"

To her dismay, however, Victreebel had not only shut her mouth, but also her eyes; falling into a deep slumber.

"Take the egg, Mimikyu…" Musharna breathed from within the Victreebel's stomach.

Mimikyu's eyes widened. "Sure? Are you alright?"

"No… I'm left-handed…"

 **0000**

" **There must be something about the gas around Musharna that puts others to sleep!" Mimikyu exclaimed in realisation. "I suppose Musharna is a lot smarter than she seems…"**

 **0000**

"Oh!" Banette cried out with a gasp. "Victreebel is the Easter Bunny!"

Pumpkaboo flicked her non-existent hair to the side. "Ah, no fear! I shall woo her with my Shakespeare and you can steal the egg."

"Good idea!"

Boldly, Pumpkaboo jumped straight in front of Victreebel, speaking, " _Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona-_ "

She was cut off instantly by Victreebel herself, who had released two vines forwards, clasping both Banette and Pumpkaboo within its grasp. Tightening her grip, Victreebel shoved them both into her mouth.

As soon as she was forced into the stomach of the grass-type, Pumpkaboo began to shriek at the top of her lungs.

"LET US OUT, YOU FILTHY, STARVELING ELF-SKIN, YOU DRIED DUCK'S TONGUE, YOU BULL-PIZZLE, YOU STOCK FISH!"

* * *

Panting softly, Mimikyu continued rolling the egg up the hill, grimacing as she heaved the egg - which was almost bigger than her - up the steep mountain. Just as she reached the top, she spotted Jigglypuff and Ribombee strolling down the hill, hand in hand.

Seeing Jigglypuff, Mimikyu felt her body tense up with nerves. She squealed to herself quietly as Jigglypuff approached her.

"Eek! Don't hurt me!" Mimikyu screeched gently, holding the egg tightly to her chest, before beginning to ramble. "I already had to f-face a Victreebel Easter Bunny today!"

"Victreebel is the Easter Bunny?" Ribombee asked, his eyebrows furrowed. "How did you manage to get the egg away from her?"

Mimikyu was already dashing down the opposing end of the hill as she screamed, "Musharna put her to sleep!"

Blinking curiously, Jigglypuff watched as Mimikyu darted away. "I wish she wasn't so scared me." After a sigh, she recovered, her optimism returning to brighten her features as she spoke. "Oh, I have an idea!"

"What is it?" Ribombee demanded softly, grinning at her.

"If Musharna put Victreebel to sleep, I can do that too - by using sing on her!"

Ribombee arched an eyebrow. "Are you sure it will put her to sleep? Who wouldn't want to listen to your beautiful voice?"

Her cheeks blossoming with colour, Jigglypuff smiled.

"Oh, hush you!"

 **0000**

" **I swear…" Mimikyu breathed out, her whisper of a voice barely audible. "Jigglypuff's eyes can see through souls."**

 **0000**

"I'll save you Buneary!" Gastly cried out, as he floated around in circles, screaming frantically to himself. From within Victreebel's stomach, Buneary was growling at the grass-type, screaming profanities.

Just as Gastly was about to gather the courage to attack the Victreebel, Zoroark and Primarina had burst into the cavern, eyeing Gastly with caution.

"Where's Buneary?" Zoroark asked without preamble, crossing her arms.

Gastly, gulping down the terrified wail that threatened to come out, kept his voice low as he gestured towards the grass-type behind him. "She's inside Victreebel's m-mouth."

Without another word, Zoroark stalked over to the Victreebel and forced her mouth open using her claws, before grappling within the mouth in search for Buneary.

Watching Zoroark pry Buneary out of Victreebel's mouth, Primarina began to soothingly interrogate the ghost-type.

"So… Is Buneary carrying an egg with her, by any chance?" Primarina asked, jerking her head towards the exit as she and Gastly began to leave the cave.

"Er… what?"

Primarina sighed. "Is Buneary pregnant, and carrying her own egg or something?"

Unable to conjure a response, Gastly promptly fainted.

 **0000**

" **Mummy got me a condom, and now Buneary is pregnant!?" Gastly wailed, shrieking hysterically. "I'm not ready for this responsibility!"**

 **0000**

 **Primarina shook her head. "I don't understand what flustered Gastly so much," she confessed. "If Buneary is the Easter Buneary, then she must be carrying an egg with her; so Zoroark and I assumed that she was pregnant."**

 **0000**

"Jigglypuff?" Ribombee squeaked, as the two of them entered Victreebel's cavern. "I'm scared."

"Why is that?" Jigglypuff asked, her voice as bouncy and bright as ever.

Ribombee glanced down at his feet. "Well, we're about to face Victreebel. We're not the strongest or the fastest or anything; and I, especially, am just average. What if I make our team lose?"

Shaking her head, Jigglypuff clasped onto Ribombee's hand, locking her eyes with his as she whispered soothing, comforting words to him. "Don't be so worried, Ribombee. Together, we can achieve great things."

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

Jigglypuff glanced up ahead of her, ignoring the stones that threatened to tomb over her head with their incessant crumbling.

"Come on, Ribombee. Let's go and rattle the stars."

* * *

Glancing up to see the setting sun, Shaymin exchanged a baffled look with Bellossom. "How many teams are left to come?"

"Four teams, miss," Bellossom told her, double-checking the list in her hand. "Er, well, three now." The Flower Pokémon gestured to the side, where Golisopod was strolling over, an egg in his hand.

"Golisopod!" Shaymin exclaimed enthusiastically. "Nice of you to join us. Where is Shroomish?"

Grinning mischievously, Golisopod threw the egg up into the air. "Oh, you know. Having a blast with the Easter Bunny."

 **0000**

" **I feel like I owe Shroomish one," Golisopod remarked, with an almost sympathetic smile plastered onto his face.**

 **0000**

Victreebel, after looking out for any intruders, stepped back towards her chocolate egg, her lips watering as she approached it. Using her vines, she began to unfurl the aluminium-foil wrapping from the egg, raising it closer to her mouth.

To her horror, the wrapping removed to reveal a mushroom.

"Um… hi?"

A talking mushroom.

Shrieking, Victreebel tossed the Shroomish into the river.

 **0000**

" **Golisopod owes me," Shroomish hissed, shaking the water off his body. "He owes me big time."**

 **0000**

"What are you doing?" Froslass asked, her eyebrows arched as she watched Stunfisk ogle herself in her own reflection, displayed serenely on the river surface.

After a close inspection of the blemishes on her face, Stunfisk grinned at Froslass. "If Victreebel is going to eat me, I may as well look good while she does so."

Froslass rolled her eyes, murmuring under her breath, "Vain until the bitter end."

The two of them strolled forwards, into the cavern, where Victreebel eyed them carefully. "Well, ladies?" Victreebel began, rolling her voice dramatically. "What's the latest gossip?"

Her eyes narrowing with suspicion, Froslass scowled. "What? Victreebel wouldn't ask that-"

"Oh, finally, _someone_ has some taste!" Stunfisk beamed, slithering over to Victreebel as fast as she could. "I'll catch you up on _all_ the gossip. Firstly, someone messed with Ludicolo's tarot cards and now he's gone, and secondly, Porygon-Z had PTSD! Who knew? I think it's slightly ridiculous, that he was simply triggered by a mere sentence. It's not like anyone called him beastly or anything!"

As Stunfisk began to rattle away, Froslass felt her eye twitch. "Seriously? You really like hearing yourself talk, don't you?"

"Oh my goodness!" Victreebel burst out, still engaged with Stunfisk's gossip. "Keep going, girlfriend! And _what_ did Charizard do? Because I heard that-"

"Froslass," Stunfisk suddenly hissed, while Victreebel began to ramble. "Quick, while I've distracted her, take the egg and run!"

Her jaw dropping with surprise but amazement, Froslass didn't hesitate before complying to the instructions.

 **0000**

" **Wow…" Froslass remarked. "I have to admit, that was pretty darn clever of Stunfisk."**

 **0000**

"We did it!" Jigglypuff exclaimed, throwing her fist into the air, before gently patting the egg that Ribombee was cradling. "Who knew that Victreebel would fall asleep so quickly?"

Ribombee smiled weakly, preoccupied with the egg in his hand. "Yay?"

"Yes, yay!" Jigglypuff confirmed, smacking him gently across the shoulder. "And to celebrate, I shall give you a rock!" She reached down and plucked a small pebble from the ground, weighing the stone down in her hands.

"A rock?" Ribombee echoed, tilting his head to the side. "Not a flower?"

Jigglypuff winked at him. "Stones are eternal. Flowers are not."

"But flowers are better!" Ribombee insisted. "For one, they're almost as pretty as you. They depict the colours of life, they attract bees, their nectar is pure, and even though they are short and don't live long, they're nice to look at."

Blinking with surprise at the bee, Jigglypuff grinned. "That _has_ to be the most passionate I've ever seen you be!"

"Oh, whatever," Ribombee huffed, his cheeks swelling with a rosy colour. "I'm getting you a flower anyways. Not a rock."

* * *

"Alright, let's do a point tally," Shaymin said decidedly, looking down at her cast from the air. "From the Groudons, the following teams have retrieved an egg: Espeon and Skitty, Salazzle and Vespiquen, Stunfisk and Froslass, Noctowl and Haxorus, and finally, Golisopod and Shroomish. That gives them a grand total of five points!"

The Groudons cheered, exchanging beaming smiles. Shaymin then turned to face the Kyogres.

"From the Kyogres, the teams that managed to find themselves an egg are: Meowstic and Exeggutor, Jigglypuff and Ribombee, Lurantis and Garchomp, Mimikyu and Musharna, and of course, Pancham and Lucario. That means that you also have five points. _However_ , we are still waiting on Zoroark and Primarina, so maybe they can get you that final point you need-"

"We're here!" Zoroark called out, just as she made her way towards the cast, Primarina gracefully sliding behind her. "And we not only have an egg, but the Easter Buneary herself!"

With that, she plopped Buneary onto the ground before reaching out and giving Primarina a high-five.

Shaymin's eye twitched. "I said Easter _Bunny,_ not Easter _Buneary!_ "

"There is no such thing as the Easter Bunny, though," Primarina insisted, provoking several gasps amongst the rest of the cast.

"I know, I know," Shaymin replied. "Which is why I got Victreebel to dress up as the Easter Bunny!"

Bellossom suddenly raised her arm. "Wait, but Victreebel is _right here_."

The entirety of the cast turned around to find Victreebel snickering at all of them from the side of the cafeteria, her usual scowl replaced with a bemused snark.

"Victreebel?" Shaymin exclaimed, baffled. "You were supposed to be dressed up as the Easter Bunny-"

"I got my descendants to do that for me," Victreebel retorted.

The cast stared at Victreebel inquisitively, until Espeon finally snorted with understanding. "We weren't getting the eggs from Victreebel the co-host, but her _children_. That explains why the Victreebel we had was so nice."

" _Nice_?" Shroomish scoffed, a towel wrapped around his body in an attempt to dry away the water that was still dripping from his body. "The one we faced was horrid."

"The one we had loved gossip," Froslass added, arching her brow.

Victreebel rolled her eyes. "I have more than one child."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Shaymin burst out, narrowing her eyes towards Victreebel. "Why do you even have children in the first place? There shouldn't be anyone for you to mate with-"

"Let's just say that Manaphy isn't the only one who knows how to get it on with a purple blob," Victreebel remarked with a wink.

"You went to the Day-care, didn't you?"

"Maybe."

Shaymin groaned, before turning to face her cast. " _Anyways_ , it seems that both teams are tied on five points. Well, shit. Now I need to come up with a tie-breaker-"

"No need for that," Bellossom quickly interjected, gesturing towards the egg that Meowstic and Exeggutor had received. "Look!"

The egg was beginning to crackle, with long, thin fissures running up and down the egg. After a moment, the crack marks consumed the egg and forced the shell to cave inwards, revealing a small Bellsprout holding itself together in a foetal position.

"I knew it wasn't a chocolate egg!" Meowstic huffed, deadpanning at the Egg Brothers beside him. "It was too heavy to not be a real egg!"

"Well then," Shaymin cautiously began, peering inside the egg to stare down the Bellsprout. After pushing the egg towards Victreebel, she stated, "While I am impressed, the task was to get the _chocolate_ egg from the Easter Bunny, so Meowstic and Exeggutor have ultimately failed to earn their team a point, which means that the Groudons win today's challenge! Kyogres, you better get voting again!"

 **0000**

" **Today is going to be an intense voting day," Zoroark commented, nervously rubbing her hands together. "A lot of us totally screwed up."**

 **0000**

"Welcome to Lord Magikarp Worshippers anonymous. We are gathered here today to discuss a traitor in our midst."

In the centre of the room was Magikarp, surrounded by a circle of his fellow worshippers. Each worshipper had a paper bag concealing their faces, muffling their voices as the spoke.

"A traitor?" One of them gasped. "Who could it be?"

Magikarp grinned sardonically. "None other than Dragonite."

As soon as the name had been announced, the Pokémon around the room began to bicker amongst each other.

"No way! He was so nice!"

"But didn't he push our Lord and Saviour off the cliff just today?"

"He must leave."

Nodding in agreement, Magikarp allowed his resonant voice to echo around the room. "Indeed, he must leave. It is upon all of you to vote, if you can, or encourage your friends to vote for him too. We must not let this sinner taint our holiness."

"Yes, sir," the worshippers responded, each of them saluting.

"Brilliant," Magikarp responded. "Now, before you are dismissed, speak the oath."

Without missing a beat, the worshippers spoke in complete unison.

"I am the circle and the circle is me."

* * *

"Welcome to today's elimination, Kyogres!" Shaymin greeted, her eyes absorbing the nervous expression from the Kyogres. "Two eliminations in a row? Ouch."

"It's better than three," Jigglypuff refuted. "Or four."

Shaymin shrugged her shoulders. "Don't jinx it. Anyways, you and your hubby, Ribombee, are safe. So are Lucario, Meowstic, Pancham, Pumpkaboo, Exeggutor, Primarina, Musharna, Lurantis, Zoroark, Mimikyu and Banette."

As they all retrieved their Gracidea flowers, they moved to the side. Pumpkaboo squealed in delight as she hugged Banette and Mimikyu, saying, "The chocolate-eating-spirit-squad prevails!"

Ignoring them, Shaymin turned her attention to the three remaining campers: Dragonite, Garchomp and Magikarp.

"Garchomp, you obviously have some sort of hater on you, but you've only gotten one vote; therefore, you are safe for today."

"Isn't that a relief?" Garchomp retorted, her voice heavy with sarcasm.

Tapping her foot impatiently, Shaymin waited for the dragon-type to move to the side before continuing. "Now, Dragonite and Magikarp; you both really fucked up today. You threw each other off a cliff. I mean, I know you're called the _Killer_ Kyogres but please refrain from killing each other."

The cast chuckled slightly at this, especially seeing that both Magikarp and Dragonite were completely mummified with bandages across their bodies.

"And the final Gracidea Flower goes to…" Shaymin began, a smirk on her lips as she saw her final two contestants tense their muscles.

Glowering at each other, neither Magikarp nor Dragonite uttered a word as they glared, awaiting Shaymin's final announcement.

"... Magikarp. Dragonite, on eight points, you have been eliminated."

 **0000**

" **It kinda sucks that I have to go," Dragonite admitted, examining the bruises on his chubby arms. "Especially since no one believes that Magikarp is a fraud. But I hope Poddie - I mean, Golisopod - wins, and shows Magikarp who is boss."**

 **0000**

"Don't you _dare_ open the window," Incineroar hissed, propping himself up on his bed as he watched Golisopod approach the glass screen. "The temperature in our room is perfect."

Golisopod snarled at the feline. "Not a chance. I hate sweating when I sleep, and you're a fire-type so you're practically a furnace. So I'm opening the window." He gave Incineroar a threatening snicker before adding, "You can sleep in the bathtub if you have a problem with it."

"No-"

"Hush, you two," Krokorok interrupted, rubbing his eyes. "Let's just open the windows for now, and if it gets too cold in the night, we can just shut it. Okay?"

Grinning triumphantly, Golisopod approached the window but abruptly halted to a stop as he saw Dragonite, luggage in hand, slowly ambling down towards the docks.

Without another word, the arthropod rushed out of the room and down to the docks, calling out after him, "Dragonite!"

The orange dragon had just finished throwing his luggage on the boat, and he turned to smile sadly at Golisopod.

"Hi, Golisopod."

The arthropod, recovering from his short breath, shook his head. "I don't understand. Why are _you_ leaving, and not the Magikarp? I thought he was the one who pushed you both off the cliff!"

"He was," Dragonite responded, his mouth creased into a frown. "Oh well. I guess you're going to have to be the one to expose him as a fraud."

"Oh, I will," Golisopod promised. "Tomorrow, first thing-"

Dragonite stopped Golisopod with a shake of his head. "No. You need to get evidence and everything first, otherwise no one will believe you. They're too obsessed."

"Arceus, you make this so stressful," Golisopod remarked, rubbing the back of his head. "So… I guess this is good-bye?"

"No, it's not," Dragonite responded, calmly. "Because even when we're apart tomorrow, I'll be with you every step of the way as you reveal the truth about Magikarp. And not even just that step, but every step after - wherever that may be."

Golisopod exhaled a deep, long breath. "Goodbye, Dragonite."

"Goodnight, Golisopod."

"You can call me Poddie," Golisopod huffed, awkwardly glancing up at the sky. "Just this once."

The big orange dragon squealed in delight.

"Thank you, Poddie! I'll miss you!" Before Golisopod could protest, Dragonite enveloped him in a tight embrace.

"Dragonite… You're choking me…."

 **0000**

" **I knew his loyalty would get him eliminated," Golisopod confessed, fidgeting with his hands. "But,** _ **man**_ **, I had no idea that it would be his loyalty to** _ **me**_ **rather than Magikarp."**

 **0000**

"This has to be my most _brilliant_ idea yet!" Pumpkaboo announced, as she lied against the cold ground, burping after each word. "I've never had so much chocolate and poffins all at once!"

Her, Banette, Gastly and Mimikyu were all lying against the ground, exhausted after indulging themselves with more chocolate than each of them could handle.

Clutching onto her stomach, Banette suppressed a burp. "I agree. Gastly, your poffins were _delicious_!"

"Thank you," Gastly responded, flushing slightly from the praise. "I had more, but Buneary ate them-"

He was interrupted by a voice bellowing from the outside. "Gastly? _Gastly_! Where are you!? It's training time!"

Jerking up, Gastly instantly began to dash towards the doorway. "Sorry guys!" he called out to the remaining ghost-types. "I have training with Buneary!" With that, he threw himself out of the room, to follow behind Buneary.

Banette, Pumpkaboo and Mimikyu exchanged startled looks.

"But… It's midnight," Mimikyu pointed out. "And he did say that they train until after the sun rises."

Pumpkaboo only shook her head. "Damn, she's clingy, isn't she? I just hope Gastly isn't her little punching bag forever."

Mimikyu and Banette nodded in agreement.

* * *

"Hey Lurantis," Pancham greeted as he crawled up the cliff, watching the grass-type stare up at the stars. "I wanted to talk to you."

Lurantis turned to stare at him nonchalantly. "Talk, then."

"Have you been receiving letters?" Hearing Lurantis inhale sharply, Pancham quickly added, "I have been getting them too. But my letters have been _about_ you."

"What do you mean?" Lurantis asked, awfully calm in contrast to the fierce glare in his eyes. "What have they been saying?"

Pancham rolled his shoulders. "Well, for one, it's been saying stuff about how you've been doing some pretty bad stuff to the Pokémon on this island. But I've also gotten a message saying that you're not as horrible as you seem, and that there is a chance that I can make you good again."

"No," Lurantis immediately replied, shaking his head. "Whoever is sending you those messages is a liar, and you can tell them to piss off." His usually mellifluous tone was replaced with a colder, brittle sound as the grass-type stood up, preparing to leave.

"So it wasn't _you_ who tampered Ludicolo's tarot cards? It wasn't _you_ who started that rumour about Charizard?" Pancham demanded, marching forwards to try and buff up to Lurantis. "I know the sender of these messages aren't asking you for these nudes. I just want to know who is sending them."

With a simple, fluid movement, Lurantis placed his scythe onto Pancham's nose, pushing the panda backwards. "I don't know who has been sending you these messages, and I don't know why they would send them to _you_ in the first place."

"Because I have integrity," Pancham insisted. "Because I know how to make you become good! You don't have to be a manipulative bastard to win this show, you know. With my help, we can make you good, Lurantis!"

The grass-type laughed, a cruel sound that sent shudders up Pancham's spine.

" _Good_?" he asked, pressing his scythe down harder onto Pancham's nose. "You make it sound like it's black and white; and perhaps it is. But, let's make this clear, Pancham, I am in the black zone and I intend to stay there."

"But I can make you good-" Pancham began, but Lurantis cut him off.

Leaning down to glare at the panda, Lurantis scowled. "And if you get in my way, Pancham, I will show you how _bad_ I can truly be." Swiftly, he turned around and stalked away, leaving Pancham to ponder upon those words.

"Boy, he _really_ doesn't want me to make him good, does he?" Pancham remarked, a small smile appearing on his face. "Well, sucks to be him, because I'm doing it anyways."

He smiled grimly as the moon shone down its brilliant, radiant light towards him.

"Whether he likes it or not."

* * *

 **Author's Notes!**

 **Tomato Soup (maycontestdrew): Okay, firstly, two BIG announcements! Firstly, you are allowed to send fan-mail to the cast members (as you probably saw with Lurantis and the scene about nudes XD). It would be preferable if you PMed any messages, questions or threats to the cast to me to incorporate in the chapters, because then it is more hush hush.**

 **SECOND BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: Next episode is a crossover episode with my dear DSG (ask him what it stands for), Dark Arcanine 33! We're doing a really cool thing where his contestants are coming to Shaymin's Island, and the same events happening but from different perspectives. So my chapter and his chapter will be the same in events, except my chapter will be from my character's perspectives and his chapter will be in the viewpoint of his characters. This does mean, however, that the characters submitted in my SYOC will be in his story for this one chapter. We are collaboratively writing together, so I'm ensuring that the personalities are as accurate as possible. HOWEVER. If you do not want your OC to be displayed in Dark Arcanine's TPI, you must send me a PM** **IMMEDIATELY** **. We will rearrange things so that your character will not participate in the crossover at all. If you have any questions or concerns, PM me. :)**

 **That aside, thank you Last Renegade for submitting the fabulous Dragonite! His elimination marks the beginning of the more concerning aspects of the Lord Magikarp cult, and he is the second orange dragon to leave. While I am sad to eliminate him, we have enough Magikarp worshippers to last us a long time. XD Also, I think this might be the first TPI where a Magikarp hasn't been eliminated in the first five.**

 **32nd Place: Dragonite - You're allowed to have your opinions, as long as they are shaped to match society's views.**


	10. Chapter 10: The Garden of Thorns

**Chapter VII: The Garden of Thorns**

Lurantis sat, propped on his bed, grunting quietly to himself as he pressed his temples with his scythes. The room seemed to spin around him, all the furniture scurrying uncontrollably around the room as the walls seemed to cave in.

He felt a sudden jab at his belly and groaned as he clutched his stomach, stumbling off the bed to retreat to the bathroom. Just as he reached the sink, a warm, putrid liquid rose up against his throat, the bitter and acidic taste beginning to force itself into his mouth. Kneeling before the sink, Lurantis choked as the burning and tingling sensation climaxed in his throat, and the contents of the previous night's dinner came spewing out of his mouth and into the sink.

"I'm sick," he hissed to himself, wiping away the remnants of the vomit from his face and splashing water onto his face.

Nauseated, Lurantis staggered back to his bed, almost collapsing with sudden distaste as he found a slip of paper resting there. Without hesitating, he snatched the paper into his hands and read the messy jumble of writing.

" _This is what happens to those who mess with the Wheel of Fortune."_

Crumpling the paper inside his hands, Lurantis narrowed his eyes as they darted around the room. Who could have placed the piece of paper there? Apart from him, the only other inhabitants of the room were Magikarp and Pancham-

Pancham.

His lip twisted with resentment as he glared at Pancham, who was snoring lightly on his bed, seemingly undisturbed.

"It can't be Pancham," he murmured to himself, barely an intelligible whisper. "Only Ludicolo would be foolish enough to threaten me with the 'Wheel-of-Fortune' shit."

Lurantis leaned over, edging closer to the vulnerable, sleeping panda. Running his scythe down the arch of Pancham's back, Lurantis snickered to himself as he watched the panda shudder from the ticklish yet sharp feeling of the scythe running across his back. Frowning, Lurantis snickered to himself.

"But if it is you, Pancham, don't you dare think I'll have any mercy."

Digging his scythe further, enough for it to hurt but not enough to rip through flesh, Lurantis waited for Pancham to react to the sharp end along his skin. After a moment, Pancham released a small squeal, before curling into a fetal position, his eyelids still snapped shut.

Lurantis didn't care if Pancham was secretly awake and aware of the scythe on his back. If anything, he wanted Pancham to feel conscious of the dangerous position he was in; to know that he would be sleeping in fear if he continued to force Lurantis into goodness. He wanted the weak, pathetic little panda to tremble at the thought of even speaking to him.

After all, fear was the best deterrent of them all.

* * *

"Twenty eight… twenty nine… thirty… Thirty." Shaymin huffed as her eyes quickly skimmed over her cast, who were tentatively nipping at the berries in their plate. "Only thirty? Someone is missing."

Pancham instantly raised his arm. "That would be Lurantis," he stated before biting his lip. "The poor guy is really, really sick and weak. His legs barely seemed to function."

"His legs barely seemed to function?" Magikarp snickered. "His legs seemed fine when he went running to the bathroom to throw up."

Her eyes widening marginally, Shaymin hushed both Magikarp and Pancham with a fierce stare. "Well… Looks like I'll excuse him from today's challenge. But I'm going to need someone to look after him for the day, so that if he dies, it'll be your responsibility and not mine. Anyone volunteer?"

Without hesitating, Pancham's arm shot into the air again.

"I'll do it!" Pancham declared, jumping from his seat. Before Shaymin could even approve, the small panda darted out of the cafeteria, sprinting back towards his room.

Shaking her head, Shaymin mused, "Looks like Kyogres are down by two contestants now." Her satirical expression was suddenly replaced with a concerned one as she eyed the cast. "Does anyone know if Lurantis has been spending too much time around the trees on this island?"

"Nope," Garchomp answered, her head balanced on her scythe as she stared at the host, stiff and rigid with boredom. "Why would trees be relevant, anyways?"

Shaymin shrugged. "The trees here are poisonous, especially if someone cuts them or anything."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Gastly began, shooting a hesitant glance at Buneary. "We've been surrounded b-by _poisonous_ trees this entire time!?"

"Why are you so surprised?" Meowstic asked with a smirk. "She's allowed us to be eaten by Victreebel, has made us clean a house for her and gives us pathetic budgets of $2. Did you _seriously_ think she gave a shit about us?"

Batting away the comment, Shaymin squinted her nose. "The trees are poisonous so that no one will attempt to burn them down or cut them down for paper or anything. And by poison, it's nothing fatal; contact with the bark will just mean that you will become a little ill. That's all. So stop fussing about, will you?"

 **0000**

" **That is genuinely concerning," Lucario noted, eyes large with worry. "I could have sworn that I saw a tree that had bits of its bark chopped off."**

 **0000**

 **Shaymin cackled mischievously."Fear," she murmured, relishing the word as it escaped her lips. "I love how it looks, I love how it feels, I love how it smells and I even love how it sounds. Why, I even love the taste of it!"**

 **0000**

"Gastly," Banette called out, patting the vacant seat beside her encouragingly. "Come sit with us." She gestured toward Pumpkaboo and Mimikyu, who nodded their heads enthusiastically.

Flushing slightly from the attention, he began to drift towards them. "Er, sure-" A bellow from across the room cut him off.

" _Gastly_!"

All four of the ghost-type Pokémon turned to face Buneary, who was glaring at Gastly with her hands propped on her hips.

"Yes, Buneary?" Gastly prodded, biting his lip worriedly as Buneary frowned.

The bunny, in response, arched an eyebrow rather cynically. "Why are you sitting with _them_ , instead of me? Have I done something wrong?"

"Er, no-"

"Good. Then sit down right here." Slamming the palm of her hand sharply against the chair beside her, she eyed him expectantly.

Gastly sighed, tossing a sympathetic glance towards his ghost-type comrades. "Yes, Buneary…" he murmured, almost a whimper, before floating towards Buneary.

"I thought Banette was helping Gastly become more confident," Pumpkaboo pointed out bluntly, lowering her voice so that only the companions on her table could hear her.

"Me too," Banette agreed. "I think he is more confident, in a way. I just think she might be a bit… overpowering and clingy."

Mimikyu nodded her head. "And scary, too!"

"As scary as Jigglypuff?"

"Almost," Mimikyu answered with a rather sheepish smile.

Furrowing her brows, Pumpkaboo tilted her head quizzically. "Why are you even scared of Jigglypuff?"

"They give me the heebie-jeebies." Shrugging, she added, "I just find their eyes so creepy! It's like they can see the depths of your soul. It's like… Jigglypuff is trying to eat me from the inside."

Banette and Pumpkaboo exchanged bewildered glances, but neither dared to question the small Pokémon beside them.

 **0000**

" **I know people think my fear of Jigglypuff is unreasonable," Mimikyu confessed, her lips pouted. "But at least I haven't accidentally run over her with the tractor yet!"**

 **0000**

"Get out of my seat."

Garchomp stood domineeringly behind Vespiquen, her fists clenched beside her as she watched the bee. When Vespiquen made no effort to move, Garchomp cleared her throat, once again reiterating, "I said, get out of my seat."

"I didn't realise that you owned this seat," Vespiquen replied politely, turning around so she could face the dragonoid Pokémon behind her. "We've all sat in different spots every day, so I assumed that it would be okay to sit here today."

"You assumed wrong," Garchomp retorted. "Now, get out of my seat."

Huffing in resignment, Vespiquen grasped the table, heaving herself up. Just as she was ready to leave the table, she abruptly halted her movement and allowed herself to sit back onto the bench.

"Get out of my fucking seat," Garchomp belaboured, her voice a rough growl as she spoke through gritted teeth.

Blinking back the confusion from her eyes, Vespiquen shrugged nonchalantly. "No."

"What did you say?" Garchomp demanded, leaning forwards. "Do you want to fight me? Is that was this is?"

Heat began to rush into Vespiquen's cheeks as she watched the cast stare at them. A part of her wanted to reach out and punch the Garchomp, teach her what a bully she was being. At the same time, however, she could already imagine how humiliated she would feel if her entire hive had witnessed her intentionally hurt another Pokémon; they would be appalled.

Raising her hands in surrender, Vespiquen once again rose from the seat and began to fly to another vacant seat. She could hear Garchomp snicker behind her, but forced herself to ignore the urge to remark sarcastically or tell the dragon-type off. Rather, she sealed her lips shut and sat on the vacant seat beside Salazzle.

As soon as she was seated, Salazzle turned to give her a baffled stare.

"Why didn't you fight her?" Salazzle asked, her face creased with lines of confusion. "That was the perfect opportunity to teach fire-breathing-bitch-queen a lesson or two. She was totally asking for it."

Vespiquen released a downcast sigh. "It wouldn't be queenly of me."

"Queenly, my ass!" Salazzle exclaimed, slamming her fist onto the table. "Garchomp is angry, and she's releasing all that concentrated fury on you for no reason. You know that she's bullying you, and you need to put a stop to it before she hurts you even worse than she already has. You need to fight back."

"You know I can't do that, Salazzle," Vespiquen muttered, shaking her head dolefully. "What would the Pokémon in my hive say? They would all be ashamed of me. A queen should never act with violence or unadulterated passion."

Shrugging, Salazzle threw a pointed look towards the bee. "So you're just going to be a pacifist for ever?"

"Well, yeah. It's part of the job of being a queen."

"Okay," Salazzle said with a sniff. "But let's say that you're in your hive, and some random Pokémon comes along and burns your hive down. They're so consumed with their own passion that they can't see the disaster they're creating, and they won't listen the peaceful treaty and consoling you're trying to do. Talking to them is literally like talking to a brick wall. What do you do? Let them burn the place down because you're _queenly_ and can't hurt anyone? Or would you stand up and fight for your hive, using the passion and love you have for all your bees?"

Speechless, Vespiquen opened her mouth in an attempt to formulate an answer, but snapped it back shut.

"Exactly," Salazzle snarked, leaning her elbows against the table. "That's what I thought."

* * *

"Hey Lurantis!" Pancham greeted as he burst open the door to Lurantis' room.

The mantis, who was propped lazily on his bed, arched an eyebrow skeptically at the panda. "Don't you have a challenge to go to?"

"Nope! I'm your nurse for today. From now and on, you can start calling me Nanny Pancham!"

"Apologies," Lurantis snickered with a drawl. "Don't you have a challenge to go to, Nanny Pancham?"

Puffing his chest out proudly, Pancham shook his head. "Nope! I'm here to make you feel better!"

Lurantis restrained his every desire to reach out and fling the panda out of the room. After blinking slowly at Pancham, he spoke, his voice reasonable and calm as he said, "I don't think that is a wise idea. For one, our team will be down by more players. Secondly, you might catch whatever illness I have currently contracted."

"Don't be silly," Pancham scoffed. "The only reason you're sick is because you've been bad, and Arceus tends to punish bad Pokémon using that that thing; Karma or something."

"So?"

Pancham sighed. "So… The only way I'm going to make you feel better is by making you a good person!"

"And why would I want to do that?" Lurantis asked, his voice level with amusement despite the growing creases of frustration that were beginning to line his face.

"Because in the tribe, if there is one person who lacks integrity, the whole group falls apart! We must, as a group, unite to form the best ever team. So you need improve your conscience. Otherwise, you deserve to leave. I've watched every elimination till this date, and it's so heart-wrenching to see all these morally just Pokémon leave. It's just so awful to watch."

"Then don't watch it."

Shaking his head sadly, Pancham only glanced sympathetically at Lurantis. "I have to watch every elimination. I like to silently bless them on their journey while I stand to the side."

"Fantastic," Lurantis remarked sarcastically. "Now I know exactly how to send you off when you get eliminated."

Pancham only remained silent as he squinted his eyes, examining the mantis carefully.

"What?" Lurantis hissed, glancing down at himself. "Is there something wrong?"

"When I look at you, I always feel dismayed," Pancham explained, frowning. "I always feel dismayed at how _normal_ you look. Surely there should be something - pointy ears or a pair of horns - to warn people of your lack of integrity."

The grass-type raised his arms, rolling his eyes. "Scythes."

"Right. Anyways!" Pancham exclaimed, backing away slightly, his cheery demeanour replacing the bitter frown on his face. "We're going to make you good, now! I'm sure there is hope for you. First of all, we're going to start with a game of-"

" _No_ ," Lurantis abruptly responded, holding up his scythe.

"Why not?"

Taking a threatening step forwards, Lurantis snarled. "Have you ever considered that maybe there are Pokémon in this world who _don't_ want to change?"

"But… Being good is the best thing that could ever happen to a person! Once you become good, you'll understand that it is the best feeling in the world!" Pancham reasoned, not daring to back away from Lurantis' glare. "Your family and friends will be so happy when they see that you have changed for the better-"

Lurantis interrupted the panda with a loud, brittle laugh. " _Happy_?" he spat incredulously, shaking his head. "You don't know my parents. If anyone can be classified as evil, it would be them."

"That's alright!" Pancham insisted, balling his hands into fists nervously. "Once you show them that you're good, they will learn to be good and you all can care for each other and-"

"And live happily ever after?" Lurantis finished, grinning satirically. "Don't be stupid. When I was small, even when I was polite, not a single person would pay any attention to me. Even when I was kind, I didn't see a single Pokémon try to befriend me, or show me any sort of care or love. Not even my parents. That's the thing about Pokémon. We only be 'good' so that we can get something else from others. We use it to our advantage, to manipulate. There is no such thing as goodness anymore."

Crossing his arms stubbornly, Pancham pouted. "That's where you're wrong! I mean, _come on_ , there are so many good Pokémon all around you. Not to brag, but take for example, me. Even though you're a bit of a, well, bastard, I'm still taking time out to be nice to you-"

"Oh, indeed you are," Lurantis agreed, suddenly thoughtful. "But you know what? Pokémon like you are the ones I hate the most. I hate your confident and righteous you believe you are; as if you're some sort of hero. Besides, Nanny Pancham, why are you here? Why do you want to make me good?"

Pancham shifted uncomfortably. "Um… Because if you're good, our team will become stronger-"

" _Ah_ ," Lurantis sighed, leaning back with satisfaction. "So you're doing it for the benefit of our team. After all, the stronger our team is, the more likely we are to win every challenge, which ensures that you will go further in the game. Isn't that right?"

Upon hearing Pancham's silence, Lurantis snickered.

"See? There is no such thing as goodness. Every act of kindness has selfish intentions behind them."

Pancham leapt up, storming up to Lurantis so that he could jab his finger at the mantis. "That's not true, and you know it! With that sort of attitude, you'll be out of this competition before you even know it! Evil never wins. _Never_."

"I'm here to show the world otherwise," Lurantis replied, glancing down as his scythes. "I'm here to prove to everyone that evil can win, and I'm ready to destroy anyone who will stop me. That includes you, Nanny Pancham."

The mantis tilted his head to the side, before striding towards the door and holding it open for Pancham. Gesturing at the open doorway, Lurantis smiled politely.

"So I suggest that you leave me to rest and join the rest of our team for the challenge."

It only took seconds for Pancham to sprint out of the room, hurriedly thanking the mantis for holding the open for him as he scurried away from the room.

 **0000**

 **Pancham sighed softly as he looked out the window. "It's a shame that he's such a sadistic bastard, because he has wonderful manners."**

 **0000**

" **Erm… So I got some fan-mail today," Jigglypuff began, an expression of horror shadowing her face. "Some sent me a bag of… male private parts."**

 **0000**

"Wait, wait, wait," Ribombee said, holding his hands out in front of him. "So someone sent you fan-mail asking for you to be their girlfriend?"

Jigglypuff nodded, frowning. "Erm, yeah. And they gave me a really weird parcel, too."

"What was it?"

"Um…" Jigglypuff mumbled to herself softly, before hesitantly glancing up at Ribombee. "Well, they sent me a bag of- you know what? I can't say it. It's kind of embarrassing. Plus, it's _really_ inappropriate."

Ribombee grinned as he watched Jigglypuff's cheeks blossom with a rosy red colour. "Fine. Can I at least take a guess? Give me a hint, and I'll work it out."

"Fine," Jigglypuff sighed, resolute. "Well, it's something that males have. And it rhymes with ticks."

"Sticks?"

Shaking her head, Jigglypuff gave a sheepish grin. "Nope. Come on, Ribombee, it's something that only men have, and it's used to… do the do."

With a gasp of realisation, Ribombee's jaw dropped.

" _Oh!_ Do you mean… _that_?"

"Uh-huh."

 **0000**

 **Ribombee shook his head furiously. "How dare someone give my sweetheart a sack of bricks!"**

 **0000**

"Has everyone had their food?" Shaymin asked, raising her voice to drown out the buzz of conversations beneath her. "Because our guests will be arriving any second now-"

"Wait!"

Everyone turned to face Pancham, who had just barged into the room, panting.

"What is it, Pancham?" Shaymin hissed, tapping her foot impatiently as she landed on a table. "You're supposed to be taking care of Lurantis."

"He doesn't want me to take care of him. I'm, um, too nice for him."

The host scowled. "Well, if he's going to be an ass and won't accept some friendly nurturing, we'll give him some unfriendly nurturing. Espeon?"

Arching a brow, Espeon eyed Shaymin with distaste. "What?"

"As the least friendly person here, you're going to be nannying Lurantis for today."

"Whatever," Espeon murmured with a shrug, before strolling towards the exit.

Shaymin clapped her paws together. "Fabulous. Now, I'm going to see where our guests are."

As the host flew out of the room, Garchomp bit her lip and glanced down at the plate of berries in front of her, contemplatively eyeing the food as she thought about Lurantis.

 **0000**

" **That's weird," Garchomp noted, furrowing her brows. "Usually, Lurantis is pretty friendly to everyone. I wonder what Pancham and him must have argued about, to have Pancham run back to the cafeteria so quickly."**

 **0000**

Sighing heavily, Shaymin began rummaging around her in room, sliding along the glossy floors as she hunted down her flower crown. Her guests were to arrive at any second, and she hadn't even found her crown to adorn herself with. Arceus knew what they would think of her once they saw how plain and un-extravagant she truly was-

"You brought us to that rat's show?!"

Her ears perking suddenly, Shaymin craned her neck to glance out the window. To her horror, her guests had already arrived; there were Solgaleo and Lunala, the two hosts of their very own show, along with their six contestants: Dhelmise, Lycanroc, Hakamo-o, Tsareena, Shiinotic and Pyukumuku.

Rather than bursting through the door and welcoming them, Shaymin shuffled towards the door, pressing her ear against the slab of wood tentatively as she heard them talk about her.

"She's… blah!" The Dhelmise remarked, his voice tainted with disgust.

The Lycanroc, a female one, was calmly rebutting the Dhelmise. "Hey, she's not that bad. There's plenty of worse hosts and you know it."

The Hakamo-o had also spoken, but Shaymin was no longer listening. She could feel heat rushing to her face as she imagined their expressions as they spoke about her. She was _blah_? What was that even supposed to mean?

"She's unorganised, she has a Bellossom slave, she acts like she does everything by herself and no one is above her," the Dhemise ranted.

Upon hearing his judgemental analysis, Shaymin felt her heart drop for a moment, the smile fading from her face. Was that _really_ what other Pokémon had thought about her?

"If anything, she and the bad Victini should get married!"

As soon as she heard Victini's name, Shaymin felt the ropes of her self-restraint snap. Without hesitating, Shaymin shoved the door open, glowering as she hollered at the Dhelmise, who seemed ready to continue talking shit about her.

" _She_ is right here, asshole!" she cried out, her blood bubbling with fury. As quickly as it had come, the rage flushed out of her body, leaving her breathless and quizzical as she said, "I'll have you know that- wait, is Victini even single?"

"Both good and evil are single, yes," Solgaleo replied. "Thankfully for bad, ehhh for good."

Shaymin blinked back her confusion. Good and evil Victini? She could have sworn there was only one. Arching an eyebrow skeptically, she tilted her head to the side. "I could have sworn that Victini had a thing for Manaphy." After a momentary frown, she added, "Unless, of course, Manaphy went back for the Ditto."

"Oh, the good Victini didn't tell me about that," Solgaleo replied nonchalantly. "Well, I guess he's with her. The evil Victini is still single, and you two act almost the same…"

"Are you suggesting that I'm evil?"

Ignoring Shaymin's glare, Solgaleo asked slyly, "Are you suggesting that I'm suggesting?"

Shaymin opened her mouth to protest, but Solgaleo beat her to it.

"Just know that I can go at this for a long time," he pointed out. "So you might as well just accept it."

Pouting, Shaymin shrugged her shoulders. "Fine. Evil or not, we better get started on the challenge, yeah?"

"Yeah-"

"Wait," the Hakamo-o interrupted, bewildered. "Did you just completely ignore Dhelmise and go into legendary hook-up talk?"

Shaymin didn't bother responding. Rather, she began soaring into the air, passing by the fields of bristling meadows. After a moment of the blissful adrenaline that tingled her veins from flying, Shaymin turned enthusiastically and gestured towards her guests.

"Come on, guys! It's as if you want this chapter to be fifty thousand words or something. Hurry your hulking asses up!"

 **0000**

" **You know what they say," Shaymin began, glancing down at her paws, almost shyly. "When you're low on self-esteem, you have to run on gasoline."**

 **0000**

Though Shaymin hadn't exactly expected admiration from foreign cast as they gazed at the cafeteria, she certainly hadn't expected the horrified distaste each contestant seemed to have as they stared at the metal linings that barricaded the cafeteria windows.

Dancing past her gardens, Shaymin threw open the door to the dungeon-like building, gesturing for them to follow behind her. "Come in," she sang, ignoring their unimpressed expressions.

Dhelmise, it seemed, was the most unimpressed of them all.

"The fuck is this?" Dhelmise questioned as he entered the building. "Jail?"

"Pretty much," a cynical voice responded. The new guests from Solgaleo and Lunala's show turned to glance at a Salazzle, whose lip was twisted into a frown. "But who the hell are you?"

All of Shaymin's cast were watching the foreign contestants eagerly, with either suspicion or excitement.

Completely unfazed by the attention, Dhelmise snarked. "I'm Mr Fuck Your Feelings. Nice to meet you."

"Hi Mr Fuck Your Feelings," Salazzle snickered in response, ignoring the frustrated glare that Shaymin was throwing at her. "I hate to disappoint you, but there are no feelings to fuck, anyways."

Stoically, Dhelmise replied, "Hey, who said anything about _your_ feelings? That goes for anyone."

Shaymin glanced anxiously at her cast as they watched the foreign contestants. She had forgotten to warn them about the collaboration with Solgaleo and Lunala, and judging by their expressions, they thought these newcomers were potential intruders.

Before any of them could question the foreigners, the Hakamo-o huffed "Hey," she said to Dhelmise, folding her arms as she glared at him. "Thanks for the awful first impression."

Froslass offered a weak smile. "To be fair, it's not like Salazzle really helped with first impressions on our side."

"Speak for yourself," Garchomp retorted. "I think she was pretty spot on."

After examining the Garchomp, the Dhelmise turned to Hakamo-o and quipped, "Hey, look Hakamo-o! It's your long lost cousin that bred with a Sharpedo!"

Seeing both Garchomp and Hakamo-o clench their fists, Skitty pounced onto the table, her voice chirpy and melodic as she exclaimed, "Hi! I'm Skitty, and it's a pleasure to meet you-"

"No, it's not," Shaymin suddenly interrupted, rolling her eyes. "They're jerks; and unfortunately for my cast, today's challenge is actually a collaborative challenge with them! But first, I suppose I should introduce them to you all-"

The Dhelmise laughed a horrible, thrilling cackle, as he spoke. "Jerks? Ha! Allow me to introduce you all to us…" Shaymin's cast watched in amusement as the Dhelmise gestured towards Hakamo-o, his voice cynical as he spoke. "Dhelmise, I swear to Arceus…" Hakamo-o started before being cut off.

"Here, we have…. 'The Serious Bitch'," he introduced, ignoring the glare that the dragon-type was shooting at him. "She's all about the game and well… that's it. She doesn't know what the hell fun is outside of exercising and… she's just now discovering her emotions…"

"I will tear you apart," Hakamo-o threatened, baring her teeth as she hissed.

"And violence," the Dhelmise added with sarcastic cheerfulness, before flouncing over towards Lycanroc. "Here we have 'Ms Wild Thang'. She's all about having fun and getting up close and personal with guys, but don't even think about sex because she's not gonna do shit and uh… hm… I guess that's it."

Shroomish smiled sympathetically as he watched the female Lycanroc - the foreign one - facepalm and blush. "We have a Lycanroc, too," he pointed out, indicating towards the wolf beside him. "He is all about having fun, as well."

Triggered by his name, the male Lycanroc leapt from his seat. "HAS ANYONE TASTED THE NIPPLE SALAD?"

"He reminds me of my third cousin…" the female Lycanroc murmured, her expression blank as she watched the male Lycanroc exclaim something about a 'meat train'.

Waving away both Lycanroc, the Dhelmise once again continued his introduction as he moved towards Pyukumuku. "Here, we have 'The Optimist'. He had a depressing life, but… fuck it, he's looking up in life now, so who cares?"

Shaymin's cast raised eyebrows skeptically, but the Pyukumuku only chuckled bashfully.

The Dhelmise floated next to the Tsareena. "Here we have 'Dumber Than a Sack of Bricks'," he commented. "Nobody knows how she's made it this far in life, but it's happened and… we all have to deal with it?"

"Damn…" Lucario muttered beneath his breath. "She's _hot_."

Stunfisk, bewildered by Lucario's comment, craned her neck as she analysed the Tsareena. After intensely examining the foreign competitor, she shrugged. "She's average, especially compared to my gorgeous self."

"In intelligence, that is very, very, _very_ incorrect; Tsareena is a million miles _below_ average. But in terms of appearance," Dhelmise began, shuddering dramatically as he eyed the Stunfisk. " _You_ are a disgrace. At least Tsareena has looks to back up her idiocy."

Looking as if she was ready to pounce onto Dhelmise, Stunfisk was held back by Jigglypuff, who protested, "Hey, that wasn't very nice. You shouldn't say that to her. Remember, appearances are subjective!" she remarked, before grinning brightly.

"And Tsareena's lack of intelligence is _ob-_ jective," Dhelmise snarked, before lightly shoving Tsareena forwards. The grass-type instantly fell forward, collapsing onto the ground in a motionless heap.

"Not again…" Tsareena moaned. "Can someone help me? How do you stand up?"

Shaymin's cast exchanged nervous looks as they watched Dhelmise snicker rather proudly.

"Wow," Golisopod stated, releasing a low whistle. "Asshole alert."

"Thanks! I pride myself in my craft," Dhelmise replied happily, before moving towards the final, unintroduced contestant. "Now, onto the next one of us you'll have to suffer through," he said, turning to Shiinotic. "We don't know what the hell to call this guy, but just know that if he's around, you're gonna hear some shit that makes no sense, makes you question your faith in Pokémon-ity, and actually disturbs you when you listen."

"Is that so?" Meowstic asked, a cheeky grin on his face. "It almost sounds as if you're describing yourself, Dhelmise."

Dhelmise glanced at the feline Pokémon before retorting, "Hey, wannabe Top Cat; maybe you should stick to coughing up hairballs."

Before Meowstic could defend himself, he was interrupted by Shiinotic.

"WALLS!" The fairy-type exclaimed.

The male Lycanroc's eyes blazed with sudden excitement. "MEAT BICYCLES!" Incineroar reached out and clamped a mouth of his mouth, and the rest of Shaymin's cast watched with fascinated terror as Shiinotic raised himself onto a table and began to speak.

"WALLS are the euphemism for loud, outraging butt-" Suddenly, his words were cut off.

 **0000**

" **Oh, shit," Shaymin gasped, panting for breath. "These guys are terrifying. And no, you do not get to hear what Shiinotic said. That has all been censored due to, erm, maturity and that sort of thing."**

 **A slow grin began to spread up Shaymin's face, the grass-type winking charmingly towards the camera.**

" _ **But,**_ **if you purchase this series on DVD, it comes completely uncensored!"**

 **0000**

" **Or you could just watch our episode where everything's uncensored anyway," Lunala explained.**

 **0000**

The camera panned back into the cafeteria, where Shaymin's cast were watching with wide-eyed awe at Shiinotic.

"Anyone foolish enough to stumble across them," Shiinotic was explaining with complete conviction. "Will be dismembered and their body will be eaten by the Alolan Diglett that live inside our genitalia… yeah…"

Shaymin's cast blinked in horrified amazement.

"Yep, that's Shiinotic," the female Lycanroc groaned sheepishly, hugging herself. "He got voted out early, but...they brought him back."

Dhelmise broke the trance, saying, "And now that you've had a taste of him, you've met everyone. You should know me by now, so I'm not gonna say anything other than I'm a jackass, smartass, whatever you decide to call me."

"And yeah… those are our contestants," Solgaleo finally said, stepping forwards. "I'm Solgaleo."

"And I'm Lunala," the other host greeted. "We're the hosts of Total Pokemon: Alola."

Shaymin puffed out her chest proudly. "I'm Shaymin, as everyone here should already know. And these guys," she said, gesturing nonchalantly towards her cast. "Are the contestants for my show, but I'm not going to bother introducing all thirty-one of them because, frankly, they're not nearly as interesting as me and we have a challenge to start!"

She watched exasperatedly as Dhelmise attempted to quip a response, before being attacked by Hakamo-o. After thanking the dragon-type, Shaymin began to speak once again.

"So, as most of you have established, today's challenge is a collaborative challenge between my cast and Solgaleo and Lunala's cast."

The female Lycanroc was eyeing Shaymin's Lycanroc tentatively. "So, how is this going to go?" she asked, pointing at him.

Shaymin glanced thoughtfully at the female Lycanroc. "Well, since there are two Lycanroc, the readers are probably going to be very confused. So, to save them from the confusion, my Lycanroc - the weird, meat bicycle obsessed one - has automatic immunity and does not have to take part in today's challenge."

"THERE IS NO FENCE ON THIS FENCE!" The male Lycanroc shrieked, before leaping out of his seat and through the window, presumably to his bedroom. Instantly, the contestants from Shaymin's island began to protest, but Shaymin waved away their objections.

"Remember," she chimed, almost mockingly. "The reader is the number one priority."

Dhelmise floated back into the air, eyeing Shaymin. "You're _still_ breaking the fourth wall? This is a TV show. What are they reading? The TV guide?"

"Your death wish," Shaymin murmured softly, before grinning cheerfully towards Solgaleo and Lunala. "Would you two like to explain today's challenge?"

"Oh, right," Lunala began. "The first challenge today will be to find our cast members in order to add them to your team. It's not going to be permanent; it is simply for today's challenge."

Solgaleo nodded in agreement. "Essentially, our campers will hide and you all will find them. You have to find them twice in order to induct them into your team. And, as you can see, well, only a select few are worth it."

"We won't tell you each one's strengths, so you're just going to have to hope that you get the good ones," Lunala added. "And based on the challenge after this, aggressive players are going to be a necessity."

Haxorus raised her arm. "And what exactly is that challenge?"

"You'll find out when we get to that point," Solgaleo responded, peering intimidatingly at the Axe Jaw Pokémon.

"It better not be something that'll get me dirty," Stunfisk spat, hissing at the legendary.

The entirety of Shaymin's cast turned to face the self-proclaimed model, all of them sighing exasperatedly as they bellowed in unison.

"You're a _ground_ -type!"

Before Stunfisk had the opportunity to protest, Primarina rose from her seat and smiled politely at the three hosts. "The challenge sounds excellent. When shall we begin?"

"When you decide to sit back down," Dhelmise retorted blankly. "I'm just guessing.

Ignoring the Sea Creeper Pokémon, Shaymin declared, "Your time starts now!" She watched with amusement as five of the Pokémon from Solgaleo and Lunala's cast scrambled out of the cafeteria, all except for Shiinotic, who continued to stare at her cast.

Suddenly, children's laughter began to echo throughout the cafeteria before Shiinotic vanished, the pricking, piercing sound leaving chills crawling up the spines of her cast.

 **0000**

" **Geez," Vespiquen sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "I thought our Lycanroc was bad, but it turns out, they have it a lot worse with that Shiinotic of theirs."**

 **0000**

Over the loudspeaker, Shaymin's flamboyant voice sounded. "Alright, foreign campers! I hope you're hidden well, because your time is up; campers from my island, it's time to start hunting down your prey!"

Shroomish sighed as he heard this, glancing to his team of five, comprised of himself, Froslass, Stunfisk, Gastly and Buneary.

"We need to find someone who likes potatoes," Shroomish remarked abruptly, his voice sturdy with conviction.

Her face scrunching up with bafflement, Froslass grinned at him. "Why?"

"Because if someone really likes potatoes, they must be a really decent fellow," Shroomish explained jokingly, continuing to hobble after his team.

"Speaking of food," Buneary began, clutching at her stomach. "I'm _hungry_." She turned to face Gastly expectantly, almost as if she were forcing him to speak.

After a moment, Gastly caught the hint. "Oh! Why are you hungry, Buneary?"

"Because I didn't eat breakfast."

"Why not?"

Buneary sighed exasperatedly. "Because Victreebel's food tastes so bad!"

"I agree," Stunfisk snickered, slithering beside the bunny. "It tastes so bad that I get back aches whenever I eat her food."

Shroomish gave Stunfisk a bewildered glance. "Who gets back aches from food?"

"You're asking the wrong questions," Stunfisk retorted. "The real question is: who makes food so bad that it gives someone a back ache?"

"You know what?" Froslass asked, forcing herself to stifle back a chuckle as she glanced at Shroomish's baffled expression. "I actually have to agree with you on that, Stunfisk."

Rolling his eyes, Shroomish's body suddenly went rigid, and he whispered furiously to his group. "Um… guys? Look at this; one of them is here." Excitedly, he pointed at the tree, where a stream of glossy green hair shone like a beacon in the glaring sunlight.

The team of give paced over to where Shroomish had gestured, before they awkwardly stared at the Tsareena, who was too busy watching the tree to notice their presence.

"Erm… I guess we found one?" Froslass tentatively suggested, watching with unadulterated horror as the Tsareena continued to stand idly.

Stunfisk shook her head stubbornly. "Nope! She's not pretty enough for our team."

"But she's gorgeous," Buneary pointed out. "She might even be equally as pretty as yo-"

"Equally as pretty as _who_? Finish that sentence; I dare you!" Stunfisk shrieked, snarling at Buneary. "There is no way we are keeping her!"

Just then, the doors of the cafeteria swung open, the three hosts coming outside to assess the situation after hearing Stunfisk's outburst. Lunala was the one to explain the rule.

"You keep whoever you find twice", the Moone Pokemon explained before discovering which of her and Solgaleo's contestants was found so expeditiously. She had to hold back a laugh upon seeing that it was Tsareena that they'd located. "Well, uh… This is unfortunate. You'd better hope you don't find her again."

It was Solgaleo's turn to speak. "Tsareena! Hide somewhere else!"

The ditzy Fruit Pokemon didn't move a centimeter; she continued studying the intricate lines of the tree bark.

Seeing this response, Lunala sighed and glowered at Solgaleo from the corner of her eye. "You know, I expected something like this to happen," she derided. "I told you that we should have brought back Bewear."

Solgaleo rolled his eyes at his co-host's statement. "His voice is grating and he has a child with Mudsdale to worry about. No thanks."

"A _child_?" Shroomish echoed, his jaw dropping. "Arceus… Your contestants need to carry around some condoms."

Gastly, as if triggered by this, screeched. "My mummy sent me a condom!"

Everyone stared at the gaseous ghost for a few seconds before Lunala snapped them out of the transfixion.

"Well, we told them not to do anything, but teens don't ever wanna listen unless there's incentive," Lunala said with a shrug. "Nothing we can do now."

"Anyways," Froslass began at an attempt to steer the conversation topic back to the challenge. "Tsareena? You're going to have to hide again.

Tsareena only blinked in response. "But I already am! You can't even see me," she said as she moved to the left, now having her back towards everyone.

"But…. We can see you…" Shroomish protested, only to be interrupted from a cackle above.

"Haha, suckers!" Shaymin called out from above as she looked down from the sky. "Looks like you've found her twice! Tsareena is now on your team for the next challenge!"

Tsareena tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What's a team?"

The team that had found her groaned.

 **0000**

" **Why, cruel world, just why?"**

 **Froslass groaned and hit her head against the side of the treehouse repeatedly.**

 **0000**

"Erm, Magikarp?" Primarina gently asked. "I appreciate that you consider yourself a Lord and all, but how about you actually offer some advice on where to look rather than continuously preach about the Wicked Gyarados?"

Tor shook his head suddenly, spitting at the ground. "Did you hear that, Egg and Ex? She's dissing Lord Magikarp!"

"No, she's not," Ex reasoned. "She's just being nice. What do you say, Egg?"

"Only shooting stars break the mould?" Egg whimpered helplessly, cowering as Tor glared at him.

Before Tor could scowl at his brothers, Magikarp opened his gaping mouths, his warm voice resonating throughout the area as he said, "Ignore Primarina, Tor. Sometimes, the wicked will just tell you things in order to confuse you; to haunt your thoughts long after you've faced them."

"Amen," Tor muttered, bowing his head in prayer.

Primarina exchanged a hopeless glance towards Lucario, who only shrugged. After a moment, a playful smirk grew on his face and he turned to Musharna, winking at her flirtatiously.

"Isn't it ironic, Musharna, that you spend most of your time dreaming even though you happen to be the woman of my dreams?" he asked, almost jokingly.

Musharna, her cheeks glowing with colour, shook her head. "I suppose it is ironic... "

His eyes widening marginally, Lucario's jaw dropped. "Wait, hold up, you _actually_ responded politely to my pick-up line? Does that mean that you like me? Are you my dream girl, and am I your dream man?"

"Oh, Lucario…" Musharna sighed, smiling faintly. "Just because I gaze at the stars… Doesn't mean that they gaze back at me…"

Everyone, including Magikarp, turned to stare at Musharna, who waited in silence for the profoundness of her words to sink in. After a moment, Lucario cleared his throat and gestured towards a nearby cavern.

"Hey? What about this cave?" Lucario called, causing the rest of the group to look towards the deep, dark hole.

Primarina nodded, "Yes, the cave seems to be a place that they'd hide."

"Nonsense. Based on their appearances, they aren't intelligent enough to know that designated spots such as those are too obvious. They must be somewhere that actually requires thought." Magikarp scoffed and began walking- well, splashing away.

"Uh, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, I say we go in there, and kick whoever's ass is in there!" Tor brushed Magikarp aside, yelling into the cave. While he was screaming, Egg and Ex attempted to protest to no avail.

"Tor, I don't think that's the goal-"

"Quiet, you!" Tor snapped, glaring at his brother.

The three continued arguing for a substantial amount of time, the remaining members of the team rolled their eyes and began chatting amongst themselves.

Musharna, ignoring them, began to float into the cave, peering around. "Hm…" she murmured, turning around as she explored the cave. "I certainly sense something here…" Suddenly, she heard a large, piercing crash from the outside, along with Tor screaming profanities at his brothers.

"I guess I better go sort them out…" she muttered to herself, drifting out of the cavern and forcing herself to ignore the prickling sensation of being watched.

As she left the cave, her team members watched her carefully.

"Well?" Primarina asked patiently. "Did you see anything?"

Musharna hesitated. "No… I didn't _see_ anything…"

"My point exactly," Magikarp declared. "Now, let's go." Without another word, he began flouncing away, with Lucario, Primarina and the Egg Brothers stalking behind him, leaving Musharna behind to finish her sentence into the barren air.

"... But I think I felt someone's presence…"

 **0000**

" **Like I said…" Musharna whispered to herself, yawning. "I gazed at the stars, but the stars didn't gaze back."**

 **0000**

"Will you relax?" Haxorus told Golisopod, who was scavenging around the rigid, rocky shores furiously, tumultuously throwing aside anything in his way. "We're only playing hide-and-seek. We're not out on a witch hunt, you buffoon."

Absol released a low whistle. "Jeez, it looks like someone is a little grumpy. What's up with you, Haxorus?"

Somewhat flustered, Haxorus glanced down at the ground, gently kicking a rock. Sighing, Skitty answered for her.

"Apparently, she can only go so long without a pair of roller-skates on her feet."

"Wait, so lack of roller-skates make you sick?" Krokorok asked, his eye twitching. "That is kind of weird."

Haxorus took her hand and slapped her face. "No, I'm not feeling ill because of _that_. I'm sick for other reasons."

"Which are…?" Absol prodded, exchanging a startled glance with Krokorok.

Her face flushing hot with embarrassment, Haxorus could only bore her eyes into the ground as her cheeks burned with colour. "I… erm…"

"Her monthly cycle has arrived," Skitty chirped pleasantly, her enthusiasm rather concerning. Seeing Absol and Krokorok begin to back away, she added, "Hey, don't look at us like that! We're females after all. It's not funny. Period. Hah, did you get my pun?"

By then, Absol and Krokorok had already scampered up to Golisopod, beginning to search more intensely than they had been before.

"Boys are crazy," Haxorus huffed, grinning knowingly at Skitty. "But we should probably catch up to them. It looks like Golisopod has found something."

Sure enough, Golisopod was scowling at a hole in the ground, yelling passionately.

"Hey! Runt of the litter!" The arthropod exclaimed. "We know you're down there. You're caught!" Upon receiving silence as an answer, Golisopod growled once again in a demented tone of voice. "I think Pyukumuku is in there. Looks like we're going to have to flush him out…"

"Uh… Doesn't this count anyways, since we saw him jump in the hole and pop up?" Krokorok asked, frowning as he watched Golisopod throw his arm into the hole uselessly.

Heaving his arm out of the hole, the arthropod glared in response. "Shut it, Krokorok. We just need to somehow tag him-"

Suddenly, a squeaky sound was heard from the loudspeaker before Solgaleo's orotund voice was heard. "FOR CLARIFICATION, OUR PLAYERS MUST BE VISIBLE WHEN YOU DECLARE THEM FOUND! NO TAGGING IS NECESSARY!"

Triumphantly, Krokorok grinned at Golisopod. "Told you so."

"Shut it."

 **0000**

" **I'm pissed, okay?" Golisopod confessed, flailing his arms. "After Dragonite left, I feel like I'm useless. I need to talk to this stupid Magikarp, but I just can't find the time and I got roasted by a Shroomish a few days ago and all these challenges are stupid and I feel pathetic!"**

 **0000**

"Was that _really_ necessary, Pumpkaboo?" Banette asked exasperatedly, though she had to restrain herself from a chuckle. "Now Ribombee is unconscious."

"It's not my fault!" Pumpkaboo protested, her jaw dropping with bewilderment. "He was walking too close to me while I was eating chocolate, so I thought he might try taking some away from me-"

"And so you punched him?"

Pumpkaboo shrugged. "Well, yeah."

Meanwhile, Mimikyu stood a distance away, insistently poking Ribombee with a stick. "He's been knocked out for at least an hour now, I think," she said timidly, keeping a cautious eye on Jigglypuff. "But he's started to move a bit, so I think he might be waking up."

As if on cue, Ribombee jerked up suddenly, his eyes blinking as he snapped himself from his gaze.

"Um… What happened?"

Jigglypuff giggled. "Well, you got knocked out by a weak punch from Pumpkaboo."

Propping himself on his elbows, Ribombee shook his head furiously. "What?! No way. I did not. That's embarrassing."

"I heard you snoring."

"You've got to be kidding me," Ribombee sighed, glancing tentatively towards Pumpkaboo before flopping back onto the ground. After a moment, he shook his head and blushed, fidgeting with his fingers as he asked, "I didn't really snore, did I?"

Jigglypuff snorted. "Like an Ursaring." Holding her hand out affectionately, she heaved Ribombee up, both of them smiling fondly as the warmth spread up their arms from the contact.

"Guys!" Banette called out suddenly, beckoning them towards her. "Pumpkaboo and I see one of the contestants from the other island!"

"Which one is it?" Pumpkaboo asked, peering through the bushes. "Is it that blasted Dhelmise? That scoundrel ought to get himself to a nunnery!"

"Worse," Mimikyu remarked softly. "It's t-the Shiinotic!"

Waving away Mimikyu's concern, Jigglypuff grinned. "That's fine! I'm sure Shiinotic is lovely. We only need to get to know him. We can't judge the book by its cover."

"Yes, but-"

Jigglypuff ignored the small Pokémon, her expression set with determination as she peeked into the shrubs. To her delight, she saw Shiinotic cheerily running around in a circle, his arms wallowing beside him in the breeze and his mouth sealed shut.

With Ribombee trailing behind her, Jigglypuff stepped out of the bushes, their faces dappled with kindness. Banette, Mimikyu and Pumpkaboo, on the other hand, waited in the bushes, shaking their heads in dismay.

"Uh...hi, Shiinotic," Ribombee began tentatively, his eyes constantly darting back to glance at Jigglypuff. "We found you?"

Jigglypuff grinned optimistically. "Yeah. Now you just need to hide one more time, and then we find you and bam! We can adopt you!"

"Are you _sure_ that we even w-want to a-adopt him?" Mimikyu asked, her voice a trembling squeak muffled by the bushes. "He's kinda creepy…"

"Don't say that," Jigglypuff scoffed. "Everyone deserves a chance! He is perfect the way he is. What do you think, Ribombee?"

Ribombee didn't respond, his eyes transfixed towards Shiinotic, who stopped running completely, a wide smile plastered on his face as he stared at the five of them.

"Eek!" Mimikyu squealed, before leaping out of the bushes and darting away. Banette and Pumpkaboo exchanged startled looks before chasing after the small ghost-type, leaving Jigglypuff and Ribombee stranded with the Shiinotic.

"Um… Shiinotic?" Jigglypuff prodded gently. "You can hide again, now."

Children's laughter began to echo around the area again as he took a step forward and his mushroom began to glow. "Only new life can defeat death," he whispered eerily before all three of them were teleported away, leaving a scorching circle in the aftermath.

 **0000**

 **Pumpkaboo sat in the treehouse, her eyes bulging from their sockets in shock.**

" **What. The. Fuck."**

 **0000**

The three fairy-types appeared in an environment that was pink and light green in coloration, the air around it smelled of mint and manure, two scents that you would never think you'd experience simultaneously. Unusually large ribbons of dark purple and blood red were strewn around the environment, as well as skulls, viscera, and strangely...flowers. The sky was dark, the main light coming from an eery, green sphere embedded in the ground. The three of them were floating in space, each now in their shiny forms, with Shiinotic staring at the couple with his same expression.

"Where are we?" Ribombee gasped, gazing around him in a bewildered trance.

"You are in my realm," Shiinotic said in a slow, eerie fashion as he floated close to them. "I constructed this from my own brain power and imagination. Don't you love it?"

"It's beautiful!" Jigglypuff exclaimed, her eyes dancing as they greedily absorbed her surroundings. "Look at all the flowers!"

"Those are new," he said tentatively. "It seems that you two have brought flowers into my realm of happiness."

Ribombee felt his eye twitch. "Erm… that's lovely, but Shaymin already has lots of flowers in her garden, anyways. So, yeah, if you could take us back, that'd be great-"

"Come _on_ , Ribombee!" Jigglypuff protested. "It can be our first ever date! It's not like we're losing the challenge; we've technically just found Shiinotic in two different hiding spots."

"You should know that things that are brought into my realm are destroyed," Shiinotic said with no emotion in his voice. All of the flowers in the vicinity immediately burst into flames, leaving the ashes to float about.

"That's better," he said with a creepy giggle once every flower was burned. "Now, follow me! We're gonna go on an adventure! Yahhhhhhh," he said as he started floating away.

"Jigglypuff!" Ribombee growled as she dragged him after Shiinotic. "We should probably stop this. Now."

Even Jigglypuff seemed somewhat startled by the harsh bark in which Ribombee had spoken. Ribombee, seeing the hurt on Jigglypuff's face, began to bite his lip.

"Sorry," he stated, glancing at the ground. "Erm… Let's just follow him."

The two proceeded to float after the deranged mushroom, hoping that he'd either lead them somewhere interesting or send them back to reality.

 **0000**

" **So, I guess that was my first date with Ribombee," Jigglypuff chirped excitedly. "And Shiinotic was the host. How exciting!"**

 **0000**

"Hide and seek," Salazzle huffed, squinting her nose in frustration. "How creative, Shaymin."

The Noctowl shrugged. "At least it has nothing to do with, you know, being swallowed by Victreebel."

"I'm sincerely beginning to wonder whether any of Shaymin's antics are legal," Vespiquen pointed out, biting her lip. "The cast from the other island seemed somewhat appalled by our conditions."

"Pfft, like their conditions could be any better," Incineroar scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Debatable," the Salazzle remarked, as she padded past the tractor. "Though, I suppose we can ask one of them; especially since I have a feeling that there is one nearby."

"You're damn right," A voice called out. Suddenly, a Hakamo-o leapt off the roof of the tractor, folding her arms as she added, "Congrats, you found me."

"Uh, technically, you had revealed yourself to us," Vespiquen remarked.

"Technicalities…" Hakamo-o replied, waving away the statement. "Okay, now I'm gonna hide behind the house, okay? Then you're gonna find me twice, and I'll be on your team."

Salazzle snorted. "You make it sound like we want you to be on our team."

Hakamo-o rose a brow at her comment. "Oh, you're willing to risk having a dumbass in Tsareena, a creeper in Shiinotic, or an annoying jackass in Dhelmise, rather than myself? I mean, if that's what you want, I can just-"

"No, thanks," Vespiquen hastily responded, cutting Hakamo-o off. "We'll take you."

Salazzle rolled her eyes. "Just go hide behind that house already."

Hakamo-o gave her a distrusting look, but decided to go through with her offer, going behind the mansion.

After a few seconds, Incineroar went behind the mansion and picked her up, throwing her over his left shoulder, much to her chagrin.

"Was this really necessary?" Hakamo-o questioned as she was brought back to the front of the building.

"Trust me," Noctowl assured her kindly. "Once you get to know Shaymin, you'll learn that nothing she make us do is necessary. You just kind of roll with it."

"And what happens if you don't?" Hakamo-o asked curiously as Incineroar put her down.

As if on cue, four of them shuddered, causing Hakamo-o to raise a brow.

"Victreebel happens," Vespiquen answered.

Hakamo-o gave them all looks she heard them mention being swallowed by one, but the fear didn't make sense to her. "A Victreebel. Really?"

"You haven't met her. She's just… Putrid and repugnant!" Salazzle commented.

"So, you're telling me that two fire-types, a flying-type, and a bug-type, are afraid of a grass and poison-type?" Hakamo-o prodded. "Really?"

"When it comes to Victreebel, types don't matter," Vespiquen pointed out, folding her arms. "Once you're in her mouth, there's nothing you can do."

"She'll make a man very happy one day in that case," Hakamo-o replied, waving the comment away. "So am I supposed to help you all find others now? Did Shaymin tell you anything she didn't tell us?"

Noctowl glanced down towards her talons. "Well, she did tell us that we're supposed to be on our best behaviour if we want to continue doing more collaborations with other hosts - namely Victini - but apart from that, we're just as lost as you are."

"Let's just head back to the cafeteria," Incineroar suggested, jerking a thumb to indicate the direction.

The six of them decided to go on and head back, not knowing what else they could possibly do.

* * *

"I honestly hate this," Garchomp growled, shaking her head as she stalked behind Meowstic, Pancham and Zoroark. "And Shaymin is wearing a lovely shade of ultra-bitch today, isn't she?"

Meowstic turned around to shoot her a hesitant stare. "You're remarkably judgemental."

"What's the point of having a brain if I don't use it for making judgement?" Garchomp quipped in response, causing Pancham to whirl around.

"But," the small panda began, waving his hands around frantically. "What's the point of having a heart if you don't use it to spare others from the harsh judgements of your mind?"

" _Guys_ ," Zoroark interrupted quickly, holding her arms out defensively. "Stop arguing. We need to find one of the members from the other island- hey!" Abruptly, the dark-type pointed over to a nearby cavern, where the female Lycanroc was standing, her hands propped on her hips.

The Lycanroc huffed before smiling. "Took you long enough."

"Apologies," Zoroark responded, rolling her eyes teasingly. "We thought you would have had more patience."

"Almost forty minutes in a cave when another group of you passed by and only one of them looked in and didn't even find me," Lycanroc retorted. "I think that's enough patience."

"Was it Musharna?" Meowstic asked, sighing. "I bet it was Musharna."

"It was Musharna."

Meowstic, Garchomp, Pancham and Zoroark all exchanged knowing smiles, before Meowstic shrugged his shoulders. "Looks like you better try hiding again," he pointed out. "Then we can see how patient you _really_ are."

"Oh, goody, maybe it'll take an _hour_ of boredom this time," Lycanroc commented, folding her arms. "Look, I'm not about to waste more of my time, and this is coming from a girl who loves playing games."

"Well,"Garchomp began, clicking her tongue. "How about we all save ourselves some time and effort? You tell us where you're going to hide, and we'll find you. That way, you won't have to wait for too long, and we won't have to waste our time trying to find another one of you."

Lycanroc nodded. "Sounds good to me. I'm going to go behind this tree," she stated, edging towards the nearest tree.

"But…" Pancham began to protest. "There is no integrity-"

Meowstic clamped a hand over the small panda's mouth. "Hush now, Pancham. Now, where in the world could Lycanroc be? You don't suppose she is behind that suspicious looking tree, do you?"

Rolling her eyes, Zoroark cut the faux-game short, reaching out until she felt "Lycanroc's" matted fur along her paws. "Found you," she muttered, yanking the fur back, only to reveal it as moss, not Lycanroc at all.

"Wait, where the hell did she go!?" Garchomp exclaimed, bewildered. "We literally just saw her go behind that tree!"

"Perhaps you all should use your eyes and look upwards," Meowstic remarked, pointing to a high branch, where the Wolf Pokémon was sitting with a smile.

Pancham gaped in awe when Meowstic removed his paw from his mouth. "How'd you get up there so fast?!"

"Like I said, I like to play games," Lycanroc commented as she leapt from the branch she was on, landing onto her feet. "Looks like I'm on your team now."

Garchomp sighed, before releasing a long, slow drawl.

"Oh, joy."

* * *

"Do you think that males have their periods?" Skitty asked randomly, glancing curiously at Golisopod. "Because, based on hormones and mood-swings, I'm pretty sure that some guys-"

"Some guys _what_?" Golisopod disrupted, tossing a glare towards the cat.

Ignoring the gritty tone in which Golisopod was speaking, Skitty shrugged. "Well, some guys honestly act like they're bleeding from inappropriate places-"

"Hey!" Absol quickly exclaimed, seeing the fury begin to swell on Golisopod's face. His eyes darting back and forth, he hastily attempted to find something to distract the group. To his avail, he heard a small flicker of sound echo from a small patch of kelp. Padding over to the patch, he called out to his group, "I heard something over here!"

"Wow," Golisopod snickered, his voice cold with sarcasm. "Remarkable. You found kelp." Before Absol could protest, the arthropod once added, "Maybe put that miniscule brain of yours to good use and actually help us find these fucks."

"Geez, someone _is_ on his blue period," Absol retorted, shuffling his way back to the others, obliviously ignoring Golisopod's glare.

Suddenly, the patch of kelp released a scratchy sound as the leaves to the side dispersed slightly. Rushing over the the kelp, Golisopod heaved off the kelp, revealing a Pyukumuku.

"Gotcha, runt!" Golisopod sneered as the Pyukumuku released a small, euphemised curse. "And we saw your ass pop out of that hole near that hole, too, so you belong to us now."

The Pyukumuku blinked. "Kay," he replied.

"Well, this was easy," Haxorus noted, watching with amusement as Golisopod's eye twitched.

"Oh, be quiet," the arthropod snapped. "You, the croc, and the pussycat did nothing to help but stand around." With a jerk, he tossed Pyukumuku to Haxorus. "Just tote this loser so we won't have to wait for him to catch up."

Before Haxorus could protest, Golisopod started storming away. Sighing in retreat, the dragon-type stared down at the adorable face of Pyukumuku.

"Hello," Pyukumuku greeted with a chirp.

Unable to restrain a giggle, Haxorus grinned. "Hi." Seeing the faint blush appear on her face, Skitty, Absol and Krokorok peered over at the small Pokémon, crooning at his cuteness.

"Aww, he's adorable!" Skitty exclaimed. "Do you think-"

"PICK UP THE PACE!" Golisopod shouted, causing the others to dash after him.

 **0000**

" **Dragonite needs to come back and give Golisopod some love," Skitty remarked, her eyes wide. "I think something is bugging him about Dragonite's elimination or something. Poor guy."**

 **0000**

 **Golisopod folded his arms, glaring at the camera. "I will work out what that Magikarp is up to, or at least get him out of this competition as soon as I can. And the only way I can do that is to get those slack asses on my team to pick up the bloody pace."**

 **0000**

Many of the players from both shows had returned to the cafeteria, with Shaymin's cast segregating to one side whilst the foreign contestants moved to the other corner. Neither cast was conversing with one another, as per the request of the hosts. Apparently, it had been to 'save time and stay organised'.

Golisopod and his group returned with Pyukumuku, and, examining the segregation of the cast, Haxorus hastily placed Pyukumuku on the table designated to the cast of Solgaleo and Lunala before moving towards Shaymin's cast.

"Alright, that's four," Lunala said, counting over the cast. "I think that's enough."

"Wait!" Skitty interrupted, frowning. "Not all of our players are back yet! And what about Dhelmise and Shiinotic?"

Solgaleo twitched. "You _seriously_ want to work with them?"

Shaymin's cast watched with curious fascination as Solgaleo and Lunala began to bicker amongst each other regarding their cast. After a moment of hearing the hosts criticise their own contestants, Zoroark finally piped up.

"How many players did you guys even have?" she asked.

"We only chose fourteen," Lunala replied.

"HEY!" Shaymin cried out. "You're not supposed to be asking questions to them until we get to the presentation!"

"Wait, what presentation?" Shroomish asked tentatively.

"You'll see whenever the rest of you find the creep and jackass," Shaymin replied childishly.

Just as the words escaped her mouth, the door to the cafeteria slammed open, and Banette, Pumpkaboo and Mimikyu all rushed into the room before ducking beneath the nearest table. After hearing them whimper for a moment, Shaymin arched her brow at them.

"Um, guys? Did you bring Shiinotic with you?"

"Shiinotic is not coming!" Mimikyu squeaked, peeping from beneath the table. "Not a chance."

Banette nodded her head in agreement. "And neither are Jigglypuff and Ribombee."

Completely bewildered, Shaymin twitched her eye. "But-"

" _Please_ ," Pumpkaboo desperately pleaded, glaring daggers at the host. After a moment, Shaymin shrugged her shoulders.

"Alright, fine. But we're still waiting on several of the Kyogres and Dhelmise. They should be able to find him-" Before she could even complete her sentence, the door was shoved open once again, and in came the remaining Kyogres.

"We can't find anyone anywhere!" Tor scowled, storming into the room and slamming himself down onto a bench.

"That's because you were being too stubborn to listen to everyone else."

"Shut up, Ex!"

"G-guys…? Everyone is staring a-at us," Egg stated, flustered by the attention. Everyone glared at the three heads of the Exeggutor, before turning their attention to Lucario, who was floundering for words.

"It's true," Lucario sighed. "We can't find anyone, and we've checked everywhere."

Primarina offered a hesitant smile. "Though, with sleepy Musharna checking most of the places, I'm not exactly sure how thorough our checks here." She gently poked the psychic-type, who, in response, muttered something unintelligible.

"Musharna? Did you say something?" Lucario asked. "Or were you sleep talking?"

"Huh…?" The half-asleep Pokemon murmured. "I'm not a fan…"

Mystified, Primarina poked Musharna once again. "Fan of who?"

"Stephen Hawking."

Magikarp groaned in response, before turning his head to Shaymin. "We give up. What now?"

"Figures that Dhelmise would be the one causing issues," Solgaleo commented as he headed out of the cafeteria to check the cameras, with Shaymin and Lunala in tow.

Shaymin started clicking through the numerous cameras before eventually stopping. Fire burned in her eyes upon finding out where the Sea Creeper was.

"DHELMISE!" she roared in complete and utter anger as she flew to her lodge. Solgaleo and Lunala exchanged looks before shrugging and going back into the cafeteria, where they were met with the perplexed and rather fearful faces from Shaymin's cast.

"Shaymin will be back shortly," Lunala commented as the Gratitude Pokemon's cast started exchanging glances and murmuring amongst themselves.

After a few moments, Dhelmise appeared, relatively unscathed. "I can tell that you all gave up on finding me. Goes to show how crappy you all are at this game."

"Dhelmise, where the hell did you hide?" asked Lycanroc. "You got Shaymin pissed off."

"Eh, I hid in her lodge," Dhelmise responded nonchalantly. "No biggie."

Shaymin burst through the cafeteria doors with a look of bloody murder in her eyes as she glared at the Sea Creeper. Her cast hadn't seen this side of her before, which instilled even more fear in them.

"No one… goes into… my room… EXCEPT FOR ME!" Shaymin roared.

"It's on an island with others so, technically, anyone can go into that boring cabin," Dhelmise replied. "You have normal bamboo floors and a spa at the foot of your bed. There's literally nothing of interest in there."

" _Still_! You went into _my cabin_! When you're just a fucking _guest_ on my island!"

"Should've been the other way around. It would've been better if you were on _our_ island. These poor bastards would know what a decent island looks like."

Shaymin growled and Solgaleo stepped in front of her, only for her to glare daggers at him. "Take this from experience. He is not worth it."

Hearing the sternness in his voice and his serious glare, Shaymin grumbled to herself. She took a breath as he moved away from her.

"Okay," she said through grit teeth. "My apologies. Didn't want you all to see that side of me unless you deserved it. Now that all of our intru- I mean _guests_ are here, let's move on to the presentation of what these guys have gone through on their island, who they eliminated, and some of the best moments that _I_ picked out."

"And, why do we care about any of that?" Stunfisk asked bluntly. "These peasants are no better than us. Objectively, WE are the superior ones, most specifically me."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, honey," Dhelmise responded. "Also, why didn't you two tell us that we were gonna be shown like this?"

"We didn't know. Shaymin told us that she made it up in preparation," Solgaleo said. "It's to formally introduce you all and uh…"

"To show my cast what they _could_ of have had and rub it in their faces," Shaymin chirped. "Plus, I heard that you all watched my show, so...why not show my cast a bit of yours?"

"I have no idea whether to be scared or flattered…" Hakamo-o commented.

"Well, Bellossom edited most of it, so maybe flattered," Shaymin said, shrugging her shoulders.

A blank, white board was wheeled into the room by Bellossom, who went back out minutes later to retrieve a projector and laptop. She set the laptop on the table, connected the wires to it, and a few seconds later, the video began to play.

As the video presented the cast of Solgaleo and Lunala's cast, Shaymin watched in glee as the members of her cast's jaws dropped in horror.

"Why do _they_ have nice islands?!"

"Why do they have a _normal_ Lycanroc?"

"What the _fuck,_ Shiinotic?"

The harsh remarks, fired predominantly towards Shaymin was interrupted by a shrill squeal from Gastly.

"Look! Two of their cast members - Bewear and Mudsdale - are they about to do the- the _thing_?!" he exclaimed in horror, before darting around in circles. "Bleach my brain! Quick! Quick!"

Shaymin huffed. "I would, if you had a brain. Now, keep watching. Wear the condom your mother gave you on your eyes or something."

The ghost only screeched with terror in response.

"Forget that," Buneary sighed, pulling the ghost-type beside her. "Can we please focus on the fact that they had a sort of pedophile on their show? How is any of this even legal?"

"It's n-not!"

The bunny rolled her eyes, patting the bench beside her. "Just sit your ass down, Gastly."

"I HAVE NO VISIBLE ASS!" Gastly called out.

* * *

"Wait, so _why_ wouldn't you just let Pancham look after you?" Espeon asked, lazily propping herself onto the nearest bed as she watched Lurantis lounge on his own bed.

The mantis merely shrugged. "It's not of any concern."

"Yes it is," Espeon snickered carelessly. "If you hadn't kicked him out, then I wouldn't have to be babysitting you like some nanny."

"Fine," Lurantis sighed, his tone mildly pleasant despite the twitch in his eyes. "He was going on and on about that integrity bullshit, and I got fed up. That's all."

A sly smirk began to tweak at the corner of Espeon's lips. "That's interesting; especially considering that Pokémon who have a low tolerance for integrity bullshit usually have no integrity themselves."

"And how would you know that?" Lurantis asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Experience."

Without another word, Espeon leapt off the bed, sauntering around the room inquisitively. "I don't suppose you have a chessboard in here, do you? I would like to play some chess."

Lurantis furrowed his brows with bemusement. "I didn't know that you liked chess."

"And I didn't know you were a psychopath. So, let's just play chess."

Lurantis grinned. "I wouldn't call myself a psychopath."

"No?"

"I just have my own way I'm doing things," Lurantis replied before his face twisted into a sneer.

Espeon shrugged, before pulling open a drawer to reveal a chessboard. "I suppose I'll be seeing that for myself," she noted, yanking out the board. "Do you want the black pieces, or the white ones?"

"Black."

"Like your soul?"

Lurantis snickered. "Black like my coffee."

* * *

Jigglypuff and Ribombee were sitting at a picnic table with a black and white checkered picnic blanket over it, Jigglypuff twiddling a flower in her non-existent fingers. Ribombee was glancing around nervously, not liking the environment or situation Jigglypuff got them into.

"Jiggly?" the Bee Fly Pokemon queried nervously. "I think we need to go. _Now_."

"Are you kidding me, Ribombee?" Jigglypuff replied, surprised by his insistence. "This is a beautiful place! And Shiinotic is our waiter! Here he comes now!"

Ribombee paled. "He's _waiting_ us?"

" _This is my world and you're both living in it~_ ," Shiinotic sang as he approached the couple with a black container.

The odour from the container was putrid, but Jigglypuff didn't seem to notice at all. Ribombee on the other hand, felt like he was about to throw up his breakfast.

"What's on the menu for today, Shiinotic?" Jigglypuff asked cheerily.

Shiinotic chuckled as he proceeded to open the container. As soon as he removed the lid, the repugnant smell began to waft from the container.

"For you, Ms. Pinky, we have a deep fried Wigglytuff heart, complete with clotting blood and acid to taste, along with a side of Bouffalant testes."

The container opened to reveal a bloody heart, split open like a festering wound, black blood oozing from the gaping hole, sloshing onto the table. The stench of curdled milk and vinegar itched at their noses. Jigglypuff poked her meal, shuddering as a length of intestine slithered around the plate, as if it were alive.

"Well…" Jigglypuff managed to say. "This is quite the exotic meal. Isn't it Ribombee?"

"..."

"Ribombee?"

Jigglypuff turned to face her date, and to her dismay, the bee had fallen unconscious on the mat. After a sigh, she forced a smile onto her face.

"I guess he wasn't hungry."

 **0000**

 **Jigglypuff licked her lips. "That had to be the most unique first date in my life! Ribombee is so sweet. I've decided that if I win this show, I'm going to use the money to prepare for our wedding! Shiinotic will be our priest who helps us make our vows, of course."**

 **0000**

Shaymin's cast had been shouting in protest as the video continued and eventually died. Once it had ended, they slowly turned to the five foreign contestants that were visiting their island, several of them glaring, shuddering or simply arching their brows.

"You guys seriously let a _pedophile_ on your show?!" Shroomish blustered in complete shock. "What kind of hosts are you?"

"Saner than the majority of the other ones you haven't met," Lunala replied tonelessly, leaving Shaymin's cast to exchange horrified glances.

"Alright!" Shaymin chirped enthusiastically. "Now that you've gotten to view a bit of their own personal and competitive lives on their show, how about a meet and greet? That way, you get to know who you're bringing on your team."

"Uh… Why would we do that?" Zoroark queried, raising a brow. "Dhelmise pretty much gave an accurate description of how each of them act. We've seen it first hand when we had to find them."

Most of Shaymin's competitors started agreeing with her, leaving the Alolan contestants undeterred.

"Fine by us," Dhelmise responded with a shrug. "I'd rather be back at our hotel with air-conditioning, catered food, a large beach, televisions and exercise equipment than talk with a bunch of boring losers on a tacky island."

"Bitch, my island is _not_ tacky!" Shaymin snapped. "Watch yourself!"

"I will tell them about your box under your bed," Dhelmise threatened, causing a rising sensation of interest to spark within everyone. "So don't even try me."

Shaymin twitched.

"What box are you speaking of?" Primarina inquired innocently.

"None of your business!" Shaymin fired back hastily. After a hesitant pause, she took a breath and turned to Dhelmise. "Okay, fine. I'll leave you be."

"Good reindeer," Dhelmise commented, causing Shaymin's ears and eyes to twitch.

"Let's just move onto the next challenge. Forget the meet and greet," Solgaleo said, stepping in front of Shaymin, who looked as if she were ready to explode.

"Good. The fact that you sinful intruders have trespassed on the island of Lord Magikarp without permission already proves your unholiness," Magikarp snarled. "It would likely rub off onto us."

"Idiot, there is no Lord Magikarp," Dhelmise retorted, causing many of the contestants of Shaymin's cast to widen their eyes.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed passionately. "Lord Magikarp is a God! You have no-"

Before she had a chance to mutter profanities, Shaymin interrupted her. "Okay!" she exclaimed. "Let's _not_ get into the idiocy that plagues my cast. Let's get to the next challenge."

* * *

All of the contestants were in a gym area. There was a court area in the middle, with red rubber balls lining the center. With this information, one could already infer what their challenge was going to be.

"DODGEBALL!" Lycanroc cheered, rubbing her hands together enthusiastically. "Oh-ho, _this_ is going to be fun."

"Oh yes, handling medium-sized balls, any normal girl's fantasy," Dhelmise commented, causing some of the females from both sides blush and pass him a threatening look.

"Hey, he's not wrong," Haxorus said with a shrug, a blush still on her face.

"Ugh, I'd never do such a disgusting act on a pig," Stunfisk commented.

"No man would want _you_ do that anyway," Golisopod assured, causing Stunfisk to scoff and glare at him.

"Deplorable shrimp," she muttered to herself.

"As you can clearly see, this challenge is going to be dodgeball!" Solgaleo exclaimed exuberantly. "You all should know how the game works, so we're not gonna explain the basics."

"Each team will send six players on the court at a time and you all will well, play dodgeball!" Lunala explained needlessly. "If you get all of the players on the other side out, you get a point for every team mate that is still standing. So say, if the Kyogres were all out, and there are two players left on the Groudons, the Groudons get _two_ points."

"And every round, a special ball will be put on the court. The ball will come with numerous effects," Shaymin explained with a sinister smile. "You may be able to knock all of the contestants on the opposite side out at once. You may be able to temporarily stun whoever you hit. You can cover them in itching powder-"

"Wait," Hakamo-o interrupted. "Isn't that useless if getting hit with the ball gets you out anyway?"

"The special ball is not a ball that can get you out of the game unless it is programmed to," Shaymin explained. "And DON'T interrupt me. _Guest_."

Hakamo-o rolled her eyes as she folded her arms.

"Now, those are the rules," Shaymin finished. "Don't ask me to repeat because I'm not going to. You should have been listening."

"We'll be going to thirteen points," Solgaleo spoke boldly. "The team that garners that amount first will win the challenge and the losing team will be sending someone home."

"I think that was already insinuated," Salazzle noted.

Shaymin grinned cheerily towards her cast. "Also, _all contestants_ \- excluding Lycanroc, Lurantis, and Espeon - _must_ take part in this challenge. Otherwise, the team is automatically disqualified."

"Wait," Hakamo-o started. "THAT'S AN-"

Shaymin cut her off. "Now, without any further ado, let the games begin!"

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk scowled. "So much for trying to keep my beautiful self clean."**

 **0000**

The contestants dispersed onto the court, with the Kyogres, accompanied by Lycanroc and Dhelmise, moving towards the left side whilst the Groudons took up the other end of the court with Tsareena, Pyukumuku and Hakamo-o in tow.

Once they were comfortably scattered into positions, a shrill whistle blew, and the daring Pokémon darted forwards to scavenge for a ball.

Instantly, Golisopod lunged forwards with a mighty roar as he tossed one of the balls forwards. The ball hit its mark, the narrow, bright scales of Magikarp's head.

Growling, Magikarp was teleported out of the arena. Before Golisopod could celebrate, a ball was plunged straight towards his stomach, forcing him to stagger back.

"Who the fuck was that?" Golisopod scowled, clutching at his stomach, his eyes roaming the arena.

Pumpkaboo, a smirk on her face, winked. "No one messes with my Lord!"

Dhelmise groaned. "DON'T START THAT BULLCRAP!"

Meanwhile, Banette was carefully aiming a ball at Tsareena, who was standing idly in the centre of the court, blinking curiously at the Pokémon around her.

Krokorok, standing towards the side of the court, watched in dumbfounded horror as Banette readied herself to throw the ball towards the grass-type.

"Well," he muttered to himself. "I should save her. Tsareena is sort of on my team, after all." After a long sigh, he waved his arms in the air, calling out wildly, "Banette! Look over here!"

Banette's head jerked backwards as she looked up with startled confusion, dropping the ball with surprise. Seeing her vulnerability, Salazzle seized the opportunity, snatching a ball from the ground and throwing it towards Banette, instantly eliminating the ghost-type.

"Nice shot for a bitch who's aching for Hard Scaled Service," Dhelmise teased at Salazzle, earning himself a ball heading his way. However, he swiftly dodged it, causing it to hit Musharna, who was still snoozing away. "Thanks for confirming it!"

Lycanroc groaned. "Dhelmise, could you _not_ antagonize these guys further?"

"Oh come on, it's funny and you know it!" the Sea Creeper replied as he floated a ball in front of himself, deflecting it back toward Haxorus, the original thrower.

Lycanroc sighed before she jumped over a ball heading in her direction.

Towards the edge of the arena, Shroomish was backing away with fear as Exeggutor moved forwards menacingly, kicking three balls in their feet.

"I'm gonna knock that face off of your puny… uh, face!" Tor roared with a sneer.

"That makes no sense, Tor-" Egg started, only to be silenced by Tor's glare.

Before a ball could be kicked towards the fearful mushroom, a ball struck Exeggutor's side, eliminating him from the game.

Looking to the side, Shroomish saw Pyukumuku waving at him cheerily, causing him to sigh in relief. However, that relief was short lived, as he was struck in the face by a ball thrown by Lucario moments later.

"Well done, Lucario," Primarina complimented. "That was a very agile throw."

"Thank-" Lucario abruptly ended his response as he saw Buneary throw a ball straight towards her. "Primarina, look out!"

Primarina glanced around her and saw the danger. Jerking upright, she twisted and attempted to jump away; the ball hurtled, spinning, towards the water-type, until it caught her on the shoulder. With a cry, Primarina fell to her knees, toppling onto the ground before she was teleported out of the arena.

To the side, Incineroar was savagely tossing balls at every contestant he could. A ball clenched tightly in his hand, he approached Mimikyu, who shrunk back with fear.

"Come on, Mimikyu…" she murmured to herself. "No need to be scared…"

Like a snake, the ball in Incineroar's hand lashed out, catching Mimikyu on the point of her chin, knocking her flat on her back.

Not daring to waste a second, Incineroar darted towards another ball and kicked it towards the back of Lucario's knees, forcing him to stumble forwards and gasp in pain before being teleported out.

Just as he was about to attack Pumpkaboo with a ball, the small pumpkin widened her eyes, tears welling from their sockets. She made an effort to reach out and take a ball beside her, but instead ended up struggling feebly in the sand. After a moment, she looked up at Incineroar desperately.

"Please…" she muttered.

For one split second, Incineroar hesitated. The next moment, Pumpkaboo's limp and 'helpless' body was darting forward as she seized the ball and kicked it straight towards Incineroar.

"Fuck yeah!" she jeered, watching bemusedly as Incineroar got hit by the ball, causing him to stagger forward and crash onto the ground. "Acting skills, for the win!"

Salazzle, watching from the side, watched the pumpkin celebrate. With a twist and a mighty shove, she tossed the ball at Pumpkaboo, knocking the pumpkin off her balance and leaving her staggering before she was teleported away.

Before she could reach out and grab another ball, a ball crashed into her jaw, knocking her out of the game. The thrower, Pancham, yelped with joy. He threw another ball at Absol, but the dark-type had dodged just in time.

Suddenly, Noctowl plunged down to the ground and grabbed a ball. Just as her talons tightened around the rubber surface, the ball punctured, leaving Noctowl scowling.

"Screw it," she hissed, before hurtling the ball towards Pancham. The small panda, sapped from his strength and his reflexes dulled from exhaustion, was struck with the deflated ball.

Before the owl could celebrate, she was struck in the face with a ball tossed by Lycanroc, who giggled. Her reflexes and strength were still within her, as she showed no sign of exhaustion.

"Come on guys, you've gotta think off this as a fun game instead of just a challenge!" Lycanroc advised before doing a backflip and grabbing a ball tossed by Krokorok in mid-air.

The crocodile cursed to himself before being teleported off of the court.

"Wow, she is _awesome_ ," Absol cooed, eyeing Lycanroc with a dreamy expression.

"Hey! Lover boy! Now is _not_ the time for-" Buneary didn't get to finish as she was immediately cut off by a ball hitting her in the stomach, courtesy of Dhelmise.

"BUNEARY!" Gastly shrieked. The ghost ended up distracting himself due to Buneary's elimination from the game, earning him a ball to the face from Garchomp.

"Way too easy," the land shark commented, folding her arms.

"Don't get too comfortable over there!" Hakamo-o called. "It's not over yet!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, however, a ball smacked her straight in the face, courtesy of Zoroark.

"Looks like it is," Zoroark commented, smiling apologetically as Hakamo-o was teleported out.

On the other side of the field, Absol was staring helplessly at Tsareena. "Come on, Tsareena," Absol prodded. "There is a ball right next to you. Just stand up, move, pick it up and help us out!"

Tsareena only blinked at him.

Sighing, Absol reached out to grab the ball. To his dismay, the moment his hand made contact with the ball, a wave of electricity shocked him, his fur dispersing at rigid angles. After the spark of electricity spread through his entire body, the dark-type found himself unable to move.

"Oh, shit," he muttered. "The ball paralysed me!"

Just as he said it, Skitty began to prance towards that same ball, jumping jauntily as she reached it. "I'm going to hit someone out!"

"No!" Absol cried out as she passed him. "Don't touch that ball! You'll get-"

To his despair, Skitty had already reached out and clawed it, sending the same wave of electricity coursing through her body.

"Paralysed," Absol finished with a sigh, watching the stunned Skitty through his peripheral vision.

Lycanroc, seeing this, couldn't help but to giggle. "Sorry cutie, looks like you three are going to be easy outs," she teased with a wink as she tossed three balls toward the other side, with all three hitting their marks.

"Well, this can only go so well," Dhelmise commented. "I suggest we proceed with caution now. These types of scenarios are cliche as all hell."

"What are you on about?!" Garchomp snapped. "There's three of them left, and five of us. Plus, they have Stunfisk; we have Lycanroc."

On cue, Lycanroc had hurtled two balls straight towards Froslass and Vespiquen, getting both of them out of the game. The Wolf Pokemon, panting, passed the Mach Pokemon a look of wariness. "No, Dhelmise is right. In these cases, there's usually a 90 to 100 percent chance that the final player on the opposing team will demolish us, no matter who they are."

"You guys honestly need to chill," Meowstic huffed, reaching down to pick the ball beside him. "This is _Stunfisk_ we're talking about-" As his paws made contact with the ball in front of him, a blue light began to protrude from the ball, blinding him momentarily as the piercing light shot beams all over the court.

"Shit," Zoroark cursed as a beam struck her feet, effectively rendering her unable to down at her feet, she noticed that ice had begun to develop, numbing her limbs. "I'm frozen!"

Dhelmise groaned in annoyance. "Now what the hell did I say?! Now we're stuck."

"Look at that, guys!" Absol called out from the spectator stands, where all the eliminated contestants had been teleported. "We have a chance!"

"A slim one," Froslass countered. "Do you really think that Stunfisk will get her shit together and start-"

"Eeeeek!"

Everyone abruptly snapped their heads to face Stunfisk, who was squealing as she darted around the court. "Get these filthy balls away from me!" she hissed, smacking the balls forwards as she dashed around the room hysterically.

Every ball she had run into was sent firing into the Kyogres side of the court, rolling sleekly on the wooden floor until it hit Zoroark, Garchomp, Meowstic, Lycanroc and finally Dhelmise, who growled as the ball made contact with him.

"Called it," he snickered, glaring at the rest of the Kyogres.

Shaymin, howling with laughter, clutched her stomach as she boisterously giggled.

"Well," she finally said, wiping a tear from her eye. "In a surprising turn of events, Stunfisk has one a point for the Groudons! Let round two begin!"

 **0000**

 **Lucario rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully. "I'm going to be completely honest; in that moment, Stunfisk was kinda** _ **hot**_ **."**

 **0000**

After the whistle pierced through the stadium, the contestants from either side were hurtling balls at each other at a rapid pace. With a roar of determination and a rush of his feet, Golisopod had already hit two Pokémon; one ball cannoning into Mimikyu and the other violently thrown ball slamming into Pumpkaboo.

Chiming a gentle melody, Vespiquen had tossed a ball towards Meowstic. The ball hit the feline with a thump, striking him just on the brow.

Suddenly, amongst the crashes and groans, a shrill, bloodcurdling yell echoed around the room.

"How dare you?!" Stunfisk shrieked, her body flattened completely as a ball rested atop her body. "Now I'm going to wake up with bruises all over my beautiful, perfectly tanned bo-" Before she could finish her sentence, she had already been teleported out of the arena.

Lucario, the thrower of the ball, smiled sympathetically before continuing to swing balls back and forth around the stadium, consequently hitting both Tsareena and Buneary.

He threw another ball at Salazzle, who thrusted herself backwards just in time to escape the ball. In response, she aimed a ball straight at him, the round leather material slicing through the air as it smacked into Lucario.

Haxorus scooped a ball from the ground, gawking at its weight. "Why is this so heavy?" she gasped to herself, before flinging it with all her might towards the other team.

The ball, in midair, suddenly exploded, revealing smaller balls flailing in the air, pelting the Kyogres. The smaller balls, like hail, crashed into Garchomp, Primarina and Musharna, sending them stumbling towards the ground before they were teleported out.

Clumsily, Gastly reached down to pick a ball, growling slightly as he realised that he could not pick up the ball.

"Aw, poor Gastly," Ex sympathised, frowning empathetically.

Tor snickered. "The loser can't do anything without that bunny, can he?"

Hearing this, Gastly's facial features began to brim with embarrassment. As Tor continued to jeer at him, his tentative eyes hardened, a sudden wave of wrath washing over him.

"G-guys?" Egg called out suddenly.

Tor hissed at his brother. "What?"

"Inco-o-oming!"

To their horror, Gastly had picked up a ball with his mouth, throwing with with blinding speed towards the brothers, his face glowing with triumph as the ball slammed into the faces of the Egg Brothers.

"Take that, motherfuckers!" Gastly shrieked.

Before he even registered his own burst of excitement, he heard a whoop from the stands on the side.

"Go, Gastly!" Buneary was cheering, waving a fist in the air. Grinning proudly, Gastly turned back to his opponents, reaching down to pluck another ball before firing it towards Banette.

 **0000**

" **I just swore for the first time on reality television," Gastly huffed, shaking his head in awe. "And it was fucking** _ **awesome**_ **!"**

 **0000**

 **Banette rubbed her arm, grimacing as she saw a bruise begin to form exactly where Gastly had hit her with the ball. "Man, Buneary is seriously rubbing off on him, isn't she?"**

 **0000**

Incineroar started towards Pancham, throwing his weight into the ball as he threw it. Ducking just in time, Pancham drove the ball in his hand forwards, slamming Incineroar directly in the stomach.

"This feels like revenge from the very first time that I met you," Pancham acknowledged, smiling mischievously as the fire-type was teleported away. Suddenly, Vespiquen was running forward with a ball in his hand, forcing Pancham to dart out of the way. The ball slipped passed him, bouncing onto Magikarp instead.

Meanwhile, Lycanroc had just caught a ball thrown by Froslass, instantly eliminating the ghost-type. Dashing around the room with incredible speed, she suddenly stopped as she realised that many of the Guzzling Groudons were watching her hungrily, at least six of them aiming a ball towards her.

"Sorry, love," Noctowl apologised with a meek smile. "We have to target the threats." Without hesitated, she threw a ball at Lycanroc, accompanied by Golisopod, Krokorok, Skitty, Shroomish and Haxorus.

With elegance, Lycanroc managed to weave past most of the balls, but the one Skitty had thrown struck home, the ball hitting her with a blow on the arm. Gritting her teeth and releasing a frustrated but amused groan, Lycanroc shook her head boisterously as she was teleported out.

Absol had thrown yet another ball, successfully grazing Zoroark's arm. Grinning goofily, Absol stumbled on a ball on the ground, tripping forward and landing on his jaw.

Seizing the opportunity, Pancham instantly reached out and grasped a ball, chucking it at Absol hastily. The ball sunk into Absol's fur, forcing the dark-type to fall hard on the ground before he had the chance to heave himself up.

Glancing around the court, Pancham cursed beneath his breath. On his team, only he and Dhelmise were left, whilst the Groudons still had about eleven of their members left.

His momentary distraction left him vulnerable, and before he knew it, Hakamo-o had flung a ball straight towards him, slamming him against the ribs.

"Looks like it is the eleven of us against Dhelmise," Krokorok noted, analytically surveying the room. "We better watch out; this guy always seems to mean trouble."

"Yeah," Noctowl agreed. "I bet that as soon as one of us picks up a ball, it'll explode and we'll all be automatically eliminated. We'll have to be careful-"

Her calm voice was interrupted by a shriek from the spectator stands.

"What are you doing, Gastly?!" Buneary was hissing, waving her arms in a frenzied heap. "Don't just stand there! Get that asshole out!"

After shooting an apologetic grin towards Noctowl, Gastly called out to Buneary, "But Buneary, we think there might be a trick! I might pick up a ball and it'll be some bad plot twist that gets me eliminated!"

"I don't care! Stop being cowardly and _just do it!_ "

"Don't do it," Shroomish warned, but Gastly was too focused on impressing Buneary to pay any attention to the small mushroom. Though tentative, Gastly grabbed a ball with his mouth and hurled it towards Dhelmise.

Skitty covered her own eyes with her tail. "I can't look. Otherwise I'll go _ball_ istic!" She moved her tail away from her eyes, watching the reaction of her team-mates "Get it? _Ball_ istic? Because we're playing dodge- _ball?"_

Her joke was ignored; instead, everyone stared in trance as the ball landed on Dhelmise, hitting him square on the face. Everyone waited for some sort of explosion, or satirical message from Shaymin.

To their surprise, Dhelmise was instantly teleported out of the arena.

"Looks like the Groudons have won round two!" Shaymin exclaimed excitedly. "Since there were eleven Groudons left - Golisopod, Shroomish, Haxorus Salazzle, Krokorok, Vespiquen, Gastly, Noctowl, Skitty, Pyukumuku and Hakamo-o - they get eleven points! This means that they are on a total of twelve points!"

 **0000**

 **Zoroark buried her face into her paws. "Our team is so screwed."**

 **0000**

"Okay team," Zoroark sighed, turning to face the contestants in the Kyogres. "We seriously need to up our game, otherwise the Groudons are going to win. Any ideas?"

"I have an idea-" Dhelmised chimed with sarcastic cheerfulness. "How about we-" Before he even had the chance to continue, Garchomp threw a hand over his mouth, keeping him from continuing.

Meowstic nodded in appreciation. "Thank you, Garchomp."

The dragon-type only grunted in response.

"The goal of this game is to receive thirteen points," Magikarp pointed out thoughtfully. "So, if we win the next round without any of us getting eliminated, we will automatically win the challenge, as there are fourteen of us on this team."

"But how can we ensure that none of us get hit?" Primarina asked, worriedly eyeing her team members.

Suddenly, a long, slow grin began to spread up Meowstic's mouth.

"Wait," Meowstic said abruptly, holding his hands out. "So, there were no rules about not being able to use moves or abilities, right?"

Pancham nodded. "Right."

"And Musharna and I are psychic-types, right?"

Pumpkaboo narrowed her eyes. "Where are you going with this?"

Shaking his head, Meowstic's grin broadened.

"I have a plan."

* * *

"So, have you received any fanmail yet?" Lurantis asked casually, skeptically eyeing the chessboard. He and Espeon, for about two hours, were still facing each other in their first ever chess game. Both of them had always managed to come up with a witty comeback to a checkmate, and both of them had spent at least five minutes thinking through their every move before actually executing it.

"No," Espeon replied with a shrug. "Not many people have, yet. Only you, Gastly and Jigglypuff, I think."

Lurantis arched his brow. "And Pancham."

"Nope," Espeon refuted. "Pancham hasn't received any fanmail; I would have remembered if he did."

"Why is that?"

Espeon snickered. "I've been looking through all the mail. Victreebel has given me special permission."

"Lucky you," Lurantis remarked with a drawl, dismissively waving his arm. "But I'm sure Pancham has received some mail. He said so himself. Someone from outside the show is sending him messages about me?"

" _Or_ ," Espeon began, licking her lips devilishly. "Pancham already knows things about you, but he is pretending that he has received letters from a fan so that he can scare you and make it look like he has integrity; he is covering up his nosiness."

The mantis immediately brushed away the idea. "No. The things Pancham found out - those were things that I had hidden very, very well."

"Are you _sure_ about that?"

The way Espeon had phrased her question sent a small flush of panic through Lurantis. He began to wrack his brain for answers, stirring through his memories and replaying every moment of his conversation with Pancham.

" _So… The only way I'm going to make you feel better is by making you a good person!"_

" _And why would I want to do that?"_

" _Because in the tribe, if there is one person who lacks integrity, the whole group falls apart! We must, as a group, unite to form the best ever team. So you need improve your conscience. Otherwise, you deserve to leave. I've watched every elimination till this date, and it's so heart-wrenching to see all these morally just Pokémon leave. It's just so awful to watch."_

With a jolt, Lurantis sat up in his bed, his eyes wide.

Pancham had watched every elimination.

Cursing, Lurantis began to shake his head. He had been foolish! When he had been farewelling Ludicolo, he had removed his veil of charismatic pretence slip from his demeanour, showing his true intentions. Little had he known that Pancham would be sneakily spying from the bushes, watching him with those inquisitive and beady eyes.

Espeon was watching the realisation dawn on Lurantis' face with amusement, before reaching over and tapping her piece - the queen- forward. With a snark, she grinned at the mantis, gesturing down at the chessboard where his king was directly aligned with her queen, vulnerable and exposed.

"Checkmate."

 **0000**

" **I should have known it was Pancham sending those notes," Lurantis growled. "So, he has a fighting spirit? I'm so glad. To tell the truth, I've been getting quite bored."**

 **The mantis grinned sadistically.**

" **Bring it on, Pancham. I'm waiting for you."**

 **0000**

"Let round three begin!"

The Kyogres and Groudons stood their ground, segregated by the fine line between their courts. As soon as the whistle blew, the Groudons rushed forwards to retrieve the balls, whilst the Kyogres held their ground.

"That's weird," Froslass commented, examining her opponents. Not a single one of them had moved, yet there seemed to be a unanimous treaty between the members as they remained still. "What are they doing?"

"They've probably given up," Golisopod suggested with a smirk. "Let's just make this quick."

"Kay!" Pyukumuku chirped excitedly.

One by one, the Groudons began pelting the Kyogres with balls, throwing them with as much energy and conviction as they could muster. As soon as the balls began to enter the Kyogres side of the court, however, the balls were suddenly halted in midair, floating about the air.

"What the fuck?" Salazzle spluttered, watching as the ball she had thrown had stopped abruptly, remaining frozen high above the ground.

" _Oh_ ," Shroomish finally gasped, pointing at Musharna and Meowstic, who were along the edges of the court, both of their eyes glowing with some sort of psychic ability. "Look at Meowstic and Musharna! I think they're using their psychic powers to make a sort of psychic net in the air; and it's stopping all the balls from landing on them."

Hakamo-o cursed. "Shit! Stop throwing the balls! Stop throwing the balls!"

But it was too late. Glancing around her, she noted that the Groudons had already tossed all their balls forwards. The psychic net that had caught all the balls was beginning to brim with colour, as if the psychic barrier itself was mocking them. Doing a quick count, Noctowl shook her head.

"There are just about twenty balls in that net. What are they going to do? Just keep all the balls in midair and wait for Shaymin to lose her patience?" she asked, bewildered.

Dhelmise snickered, before reaching out and grabbing one of the balls. "You wish." With a swift throw, the ball knocked Noctowl directly on the head, eliminating her.

Suddenly, each member of the Kyogres had grabbed a ball for themselves, hurtling it towards a member of the Groudons mercilessly. Too shocked to react, most of them had been eliminated instantly.

The few that had survived the hail storm of dodgeballs had attempted to throw a ball at the Kyogres again, only for it to be once against caught by the psychic net and ricochet straight back at them.

"Fuck yeah!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed as she aimed her ball at the final member of the Groudons - Krokorok - sending him sprawling to the ground. "We actually did it!"

"Psychic buddies, for the win," Meowstic sighed, visibly exhausted as he attempted to high-five Musharna.

Shaymin stepped down from the podium, alongside Solgaleo and Lunala.

"Well, since the Kyogres completely trashed that round with all fourteen of them remaining in the game, they have reached fourteen points; so they win the dodgeball challenge!"

With a cheer, the Kyogres all grinned amongst each other; even Lycanroc seemed to be enjoying herself as she exchanged a fist-bump with Zoroark.

"Looks like Musharna isn't as useless as she seems," Magikarp murmured, snickering. "Good, then. At least we are saved from another elimination."

After hearing that, Shaymin cackled. "Not so fast, fish fillet! Just because you won, doesn't mean that you've _won_."

"What do you mean?" Lycanroc asked curiously, glancing tentatively towards Solgaleo and Lunala.

After a sigh, Lunala shook her head. "Well, the rule was that all contestants - excluding Meat Train Lycanroc, Lurantis and Espeon - must take part in this challenge; otherwise the team is automatically disqualified."

"And since not all of your team members were participating," Solgaleo continued. "That means that the Kyogres have actually been disqualified from the challenge. Which means that, in reality, the Guzzling Groudons have won."

"What are you talking about?" Garchomp demanded. "Everyone in our team participated."

Shaymin grinned.

" _Everyone_?"

The Kyogres all exchanged wary glances, the ball rolling in their heads as they tried to distinguish who had been missing or which member had not taken part in the challenge. Finally, after moments of thought, the ball finally dropped and, in unison, they all exclaimed:

" _Jigglypuff and Ribombee!_ "

* * *

"That was the _best_ date ever!" Jigglypuff exclaimed giddily, twirling around as she walked alongside Ribombee towards the cafeteria. "We have to do that again sometime."

The bee offered a smile. "Well, maybe we shouldn't have Shiinotic as our waiter next time. He seems to have a slightly possessive streak."

"Yeah, that's true," accorded Jigglypuff. "How did he let us get away, anyways?"

"He was offended that we didn't like his food, or something like that."

Jigglypuff squinted her nose in memory. "Oh, yeah."

Suddenly, Ribombee reached out to hold the pink Pokémon's hand. Smiling pleasantly, Jigglypuff eyed their clasped hands fondly.

"You enjoy making my heart stop, don't you?" she joked.

Before Ribombee could quip a response, Garchomp had burst out from the cafeteria, glaring at them.

"Ribombee! Jigglypuff! You guys better explain yourselves. Our team is waiting for you inside."

The couple exchanged a baffled stare. After a moment of awkward silence, Ribombee asked, "Wait, why?"

"You're the reason our team lost," Garchomp scowled, before marching back into the cafeteria, hissing at the duo.

Within seconds, tears began to shine in Jigglypuff's eyes. "What did we do, Ribombee?" she squeaked in a hushed voice. "How did our team lose because of us? Was it because of our absence?"

"I dunno," Ribombee responded, biting his fingertips. "But what we get eliminated? What if I lose you, Jigglypuff?"

The pink Pokémon held him tight, basking in the warmth of their embrace as she said, "Don't worry, Ribombee. Even if one of us gets eliminated… I will find a way for us to be together. No matter how long it takes. If I have to chase your soul to the ends of eternity, I will. I won't stop, okay? I promise." After a moment, she smiled cheerfully. "Besides, we can't think negatively. We probably won't get eliminated if we calmly explain to them that Shiinotic just took us away without our permission in the first place."

Nodding slowly, Ribombee patted Jigglypuff gently on the back. "Okay, good idea. How about you go and rest; you've had a big day. I'll go to the cafeteria and explain to everyone exactly what happened."

"Are you sure?" Jigglypuff asked, frowning with concern. "I can be there to back you up-"

"No, it's fine. I insist," Ribombee hastily said, waving away her worry. "I can do it. You should rest."

Jigglypuff released an exasperated sigh. "Fine. I'll see you tonight, then?"

"See you tonight."

"Love ya!"

As Jigglypuff pranced away, Ribombee remained silent, not daring to respond to her verbal display of affection. Once she was out of sight, he shook his head.

"And where there is love, there is lies."

* * *

"Wait, Jigglypuff did that?" Banette asked, blinking back her shock. "But… I always saw her as a nice girl!"

"I did, too," Ribombee sadly muttered, bowing his head. "Her and Shiinotic had a scheme going all along; she wanted to make sure that our team lost. So she lead me away, and every time I told her that we needed to go back, she would laugh and spit in my face! It was awful. I am so, so sorry that we lost."

Primarina shook her head. "Don't be sorry. It obviously was not your fault. I still cannot believe that Jigglypuff would have done that. It's just so… cruel. Why would she want our team to lose, anyways?"

"Because she's a Jigglypuff!" Mimikyu exclaimed with a frustrated groan. "I always knew they were sketchy, but no one would believe me! See? I told you that Jigglypuff are dangerous."

"And to think that I always thought your fear of her was irrational," Zoroark sighed. "I just can't believe it. Why would she purposely make our team lose, and let Shiinotic torture Ribombee at the same time?"

Tor snickered. "Because she's a sadistic little shit?"

"Maybe she just wants revenge on someone who was mean to her," Ex suggested reasonably.

"M-maybe Ribombee is l-lying and this entire thing a hoax to get us to vote f-for Jigglypuff instead of him?" Egg countered.

Everyone glared at him as Ribombee stifled a helpless sob.

"I promise!" Ribombee burst out, fidgeting with his fingers. "She hasn't let me leave her sight since we've become friends, just because she was s-scared I would tell someone that she's been treating me badly."

"So _that's_ why you two were always together," Pumpkaboo pointed out, her jaw dropping. "I can't believe how sly and manipulative she is!"

Musharna nodded sadly. "Yes, it was very clever of her to target Ribombee… Who is probably one of the most timid members too…"

"I'm sorry," Primarina apologised, reaching over to gently nudge Ribomee. "I hope you're okay, Ribombee."

"Thanks, g-guys," Ribombee muttered, flushing slightly from the attention. "I appreciate it."

 **0000**

" **I** _ **knew**_ **it!" Mimikyu exclaimed excitedly. "I knew that Jigglypuff are horrid creatures! But did anyone believe me before?** _ **No**_ **. But now they do! Take that, pink little ball of evil!"**

 **0000**

 **Ribombee blinked in the confessionals, his face blank and expressionless as he eyed the lens of the camera.**

 **0000**

At the campfire, Shaymin stood at her podium, Bellossom beside her. To the side stoof Lunala ad Solgaleo, along with the rest of their cast, waving farewell to the contestants of the Killer Kyogres.

"Before our elimination ceremony today, I would just like to thank Solgaleo and Lunala for participating in this collaboration with us today!" Shaymin exclaimed, gesturing towards the two hosts beside her. "Thank you for an enjoyable episode, and your cast rocks. I wish them all well for the finals. Except Dhelmise. Dhelmise can go and die in an undersized hole."

Before Dhelmise could come up with a witty response, Lunala had already begun speaking.

"The pleasure is ours, Shaymin. Enjoy your elimination."

Shaymin grinned. "You bet I will. Enjoy your journey back home!" As soon as the Alolan Pokémon had teleported out of her island, the host turned to face her contestants, winking mischievously. "And now, for the results of today's elimination!" she announced.

"Lurantis, you were immune for today, so congrats! You get a gracidea!" Shaymin chimed, her eyes alight as she watched the mantis catch his flower. "The Pokémon who received no votes at all today are: Pumpkaboo, Zoroark, Magikarp, Primarina, Exeggutor, Lucario…"

The Pokémon who had their names announced immediately bolted from their seats, moving to the side as soon as they caught their flowers.

"Meowstic, Musharna, Banette and Mimikyu; you're also safe on zero votes!"

The only Pokémon that remained were Ribombee, Jigglypuff, Pancham and Garchomp.

"Pancham," Shaymin began. "It seems that you have a bit of an admirer, because you only received one vote in total; so you are safe. Same goes to you, Garchomp, as you only received two votes today."

Both the small panda and the draconid stoof from their seats, with Pancham tossing a dirty look towards Lurantis whilst Garchomp remained nonchalant.

"Jigglypuff and Ribombee," Shaymin drawled with a smirk. "It's no surprise seeing you two here, really. Especially since you guys were the ones who fucked up the challenge for your team by not even being there! The question is, which one of you is leaving?"

Jigglypuff's eyes were already brimming with tears, the droplets of salty water slowly sliding down her cheek, adorning the blossoming rosiness of her cheeks.

"Ribombee?" Shaymin called out.

"Hm?"

"With only three votes, you are safe for today."

Though her stomach dropped slightly, Jigglypuff mustered a positive smile on her face as she faced her best friend. "Congratulations," she whispered to him. "I'm so happy for you."

"With nine votes to your name," Shaymin began, showing a sympathetic smile towards Jigglypuff. "You have been eliminated."

 **0000**

" **It's a shame that I have to go," Jigglypuff sighed. "Especially after my first ever date with Ribombee! But, oh well, I guess nothing lasts forever. I still don't know why Pokémon would have voted for us, when Ribombee clearly told them that Shiinotic had taken us away?"**

 **After a moment of contemplation, an optimistic grin plastered over her face.**

" **I really hope Ribombee wins, though! He has been an absolute sweetheart."**

 **0000**

"Here, Jigglypuff," Ribombee offered, holding out a flower. "I know you like rocks more than flowers, but I decided to give you a flower instead. They're prettier."

Jigglypuff accepted the flower with a melancholic smile. "Thanks, Ribombee!" With a fond glance at the bee, she reached out to embrace him. "I'll miss you!"

"I'll miss you, too."

"I still can't believe that everyone voted for us," Jigglypuff remarked after a moment of silence. "Surely they knew that we weren't responsible for our own disappearance, right? You told them, right?"

"You bet I told them." Ribombee grinned at her, his lips stretching across his face.

Jigglypuff gave the bee a curious look, focusing carefully on the smile on his face. "And what exactly did you tell them? Why are you smiling?"

"Oh, Jigglypuff, have you always been this foolish?" Ribombee spat, snickering. "Do you remember that day when you asked me what friends were for?"

"Yes?" Jigglypuff responded, her voice shaky with worry. "It was a rhetorical question, but you answered it anyways."

Ribombee leaned against the dock. "And what exactly did I say?"

"You said that…" Jigglypuff suddenly trailed off, her eyes widening with horror. " _No_."

" _Yes_ ," Ribombee snarked, hissing with delight. "I said that friends are for backstabbing, manipulating and torturing, did I not?"

"But you were only joking!" Jigglypuff protested, before her tone became a desperate plea. "You were only joking, right?"

Ribombee flicked away her whisper. "The only joke around here is you."

"I can't believe you," Jigglypuff hissed, her voice low with hurt. "What did you tell everyone about me? Did you tell them some awful lie about me that made them all hate me? That made them want to eliminate me? Is that why everyone was giving me these disgusted looks all afternoon?"

"Would you look at that?" Ribombee sarcastically asked with a grin. "Her brain cells are finally beginning to function."

Jigglypuff shook her head. "I… You… I've never wanted to believe that there was any evil in this world, Ribombee. But _you_ ," she accused, stopping herself momentarily before jabbing a thumb at him. " _You_ are the closest I have ever seen."

"Ouch," Ribombee responded. "You've wound me, Jigglypuff. Is that honestly the meanest thing you've said in your life? See, this is your problem. You're too nice; too trusting. This was bound to happen to you, and you knew it."

Finally, Jigglypuff's patience snapped.

"You bastard!" she shrieked, her voice echoing across the bay. "I trusted you! Hell, I _loved_ you for a moment! I spent all my time trying to keep you happy and comfortable, and what do you freaking do? You- you-" Before she could bring herself to continue, her released a loud, moist sob, breaking down into tears before him.

"I'm not evil," Ribombee declared, glancing at his fingers. "It's called playing a game. That's what this is, isn't it? A game. It's always been a game. And in a game, there is always a winner and a loser."

Crumpling into a heaped mess on the dock, Jigglypuff glanced up to glare at him. "You'll never win. It's impossible. Evil never triumphs."

"You know what else is impossible?" Ribombee asked. "A bee flying. You see, according to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. But the bee flies anyways."

Ribombee then lowered himself, placing his face dangerously close to Jigglypuff.

"Because bees don't care what others think is impossible."

After his final remark, Ribombee turned around, leaving Jigglypuff stranded as the boat came to pick her up. Ignoring the boat, the pink Pokémon huddled into a ball, bawling her eyes out as she thought over his final words to her.

Suddenly, the bushes began to shudder, leaving wisping in the wind as a Pokémon crawled out of the bushes.

"Who's there?" Jigglypuff called out.

"Mimikyu," the small voice squeaked out, before stepping into the light to reveal the small, ghost-type Pokémon. "I'm sorry f-for eavesdropping. Pancham always comes to watch eliminations, but Lurantis wouldn't let him leave so he a-asked me to make sure you and Ribombee were o-okay."

Jigglypuff smiled sadly. "Is that the only reason you came?"

"No," Mimikyu confessed, shaking her head. "I also wanted to see you go because I am - was - scared of you."

"I figured as much," Jigglypuff admitted, wiping tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry for constantly scaring you."

Mimikyu shook her head hastily. "N-no! I'm sorry for being scared of you. If there was a-anyone I should have been scared of, it was Ribombee, not you. I watched what he said to you and I am… sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been prejudiced. I should have been nice to you, because you've always been nice to me. But… I'm just sorry."

Tears had once again begun to sprung in Jigglypuff's eyes, and she reached out to embrace Mimikyu.

"It's okay, Mimikyu. I forgive you. I'm not sure if I can ever forgive Ribombee, but I can definitely forgive you."

Mimikyu offered a sympathetic smile. "I… If you want, I can try getting Ribombee out? I can warn everyone about him- I can try, I don't know, avenging you?"

"You don't have to step out of your way to do that," Jigglypuff insisted. "In fact, it's sort of my fault. I should have suspected that he had other intentions. There were so many clues he left. And our whole conversation about flowers and rocks…. I should have known."

"What do you mean?" Mimikyu asked gently, tilting head to the side.

Jigglypuff gazed into the forest, her eyes following the path that Ribombee had taken. She took a wistful glance back down at her hands, where the flower in her palm had already begun to wilt into a withering, mournful shade of brown. After a shaky breath, she spoke.

"Stones are eternal. Flowers are not."

* * *

 **And cut! Another villain introduced! Why are we introducing so many villains? Will you ever know? No. XD Never! I hope everyone enjoyed this (long-ass) crossover! It was such a pleasure to do with my DSG, Dark Arcanine 33! He is so much fun, and you should check out his stories. He is a badass. Plus, only he knows what is in Shaymin's box.**

 **31st Place: Jigglypuff (The Optimistic Idealist) - Her sole purpose was to reveal Ribombee's true intentions to the world, and I wanted to that relatively soon. Lucky for her, Mimikyu is no longer scared of her species!**

 **Enjoy! It's very long - rip rip. Thank you, once again, Dark Arcanine 33! You're the best DSG ever. :D**

 **Review. Please!**


	11. Chapter 11: The Chishelled Marionette

**Chapter VIII: The Chiselled Marionette**

"Seriously?" Froslass snickered, glancing down at her plate of stale, moulding bread. "This is all we get? No butter, jam, vegemite or anything?"

Haxorus stabbed at her plate, wincing slightly as a green patch of mouldy bread stuck to her finger. After a moment of grimacing at her food, she turned to Vespiquen. "Hey, Vespiquen?"

"Hm?"

"Since you're a bee, can't you make honey?" the dragon-type asked almost desperately. "A spoonful of honey would definitely make everything taste better."

Vespiquen shook her head sadly. "No, I don't make the honey. The Combee make the honey."

"But you're the queen!" Skitty cried out incredulously. "Surely you can make honey too, right?"

"Nope," the bee replied. "I help the Combee make the honey by, well, certain methods. But they are the ones who are able to make the honey. Not me."

After exchanging baffled glances with each other, Skitty and Haxorus propped their elbows on the table, leaning closer towards Vespiquen.

"Wait, so how do you make them make honey?" Haxorus asked, bringing her voice down to a whisper. "Because I think there are some Combee on this island!"

Vespiquen's face flushed slightly, and she smiled weakly. "No, I wouldn't feel comfortable asking them to make me honey. Especially since I would have to help them, and you know, it'd just be awkward."

"How so?" Skitty asked inquisitively, tilting her head to the side. "How do you help them make honey?"

"I have to…" Vespiquen inhaled deeply, glancing around the room anxiously. "I have to do the _thing_ with the Combee."

Haxorus frowned. "Do that _what_?"

"The deed."

"What deed?" Skitty chimed, her tail twitching as she furrowed her brows.

Vespiquen pressed her hand against her forehead. "You know, the birds and the bees? That thing?"

Skitty and Haxorus only blinked with confusion. Vespiquen huffed.

"Oh, never mind."

Meanwhile, Pancham was poking Lurantis with his spoon insistently, whining. "Come _on_ , Lurantis! Just be good! It's not that hard! You can-"

"Shut up, Pancham," Lurantis hissed, smacking away Pancham's spoon. Hearing the clang of metal against the floor, many of the contestants turned to give Pancham and Lurantis a curious look, only for Lurantis to quickly wave away their concern.

"No! I am going to make you good and that is that!"

Lurantis arched an eyebrow. "Oh, really? And how do you plan on doing that? Please, indulge me."

"I'm going to-" Pancham quickly cut himself off as he realised that he had no idea what to say. "I will find a way! Okay? My tribe will be so proud of me once they realise what a nice gentleman I have made out of you."

"And what if you fail?" Lurantis retorted, lazily reaching out and plucking his food from his plate. "What if your tribe is currently laughing at your futile and foolish attempts to make yourself a martyr? What if they've already abandoned you?"

His face steaming with rage, Pancham snatched a berry from his plate and hurled it at Lurantis. The mantis, his reflexes sharp, jerked to the side just in time, leaving the berry flying straight towards Golisopod.

Growling with annoyance, Golisopod turned back indinantly, snarling, "Alright, who the fuck threw that at me?"

"Whoever it was, you deserved it," Salazzle remarked, ducking away as a piece of toast was thrown at her.

The toast, instead, was fired at Magikarp, who nonchalantly flopped against his seat. Pumpkaboo and Lycanroc, however, were bubbling with rage.

"How dare you!" Pumpkaboo shrieked, grabbing her fork and using it to fling out berries at everyone else. Lycanroc followed suit, tossing bread and sluggish porridge around the cafeteria in a frenzy.

Before everyone knew it, the hall was a mess, with food being flung everywhere and Pokémon scowling at each other with fury, frustration or even delight.

Pancham sat silently, his glowing radiance wiped away and replaced with a sulk. He glanced around the room, staring at the chaos he had caused.

"What have I done?" he muttered to himself, tears brimming in his eyes as he watched Mimikyu tear up as a slab of porridge slapped her in the face. "There's no integrity in any of this. All I wanted was for Lurantis to just-"

"To what?" Lurantis interrupted, leaning forwards across the table to grin at Pancham. "Look at what you've done, Pancham. You're so passionate about integrity, but you've only managed to create a disaster. What will all your friends think of you at home?"

The panda growled at him, ready to throw himself upon the mantis. However, as he took another glance around the destruction of the room around him, the relentless slingshot of berries and bread, his shoulders slumped with defeat, the burning passion on his face doused completely. "I… I just wanted you to be good."

"And I said no," Lurantis replied, tilting his head to whisper into Pancham's ears. "And there are two types of Pokémon I hate most in this world. You know what they are?" As Pancham shook his head, the mantis continued, "Pokémon who try to make me good, and Pokémon who waste food."

Without waiting for a response, Lurantis pressed his scythe against Pancham's nose, using his other scythe to gesture at the mess of food around them.

"And you, Nanny Pancham, are both of those."

 **0000**

" **Okay, so I overreacted by throwing food at him," Pancham admitted, glancing down at his hands. "And I know I'm always going on and on about integrity, but… I'm now starting to wonder whether Lurantis is worth it. There was a time where I would never** _ **ever**_ **let any Pokémon be bad, but now… I just feel exhausted. I don't feel that passion about making others become a better person anymore. The spark is just… gone."**

 **0000**

"Welcome to today's challenge!" Shaymin exclaimed cheerfully as the campers approached the large grassy meadow in the centre of the island. "Since you all have totally fucked up the cafeteria, your challenge today is to clean the cafeteria."

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?" Stunfisk spat, her lip curled with disgust. "Because if anything needs a clean-up around here, it's your attitude."

Shaymin glared at the model. "Hey, cleaning up my attitude and that cafeteria would be nothing compared to trying to clean your face."

"You motherfuck-"

Before Stunfisk could continue, Shaymin clapped her paws together loudly. "Oh, just be quiet, will you? You're not cleaning for today's challenge; I was kidding. Your actual challenge is to climb up that mountain!"

With a grand gesture, she swept her paws to the left, pointing at a mountain not too far away. The distant mountain was harsh and ragged, composed of granite fabricated with thorny shrubs and thrusting spires of crumbling rocks, reaching up so high that it seemed as it the mountain was piercing the sky beyond the clouds. Just as a bird flew past the mountain, rocks began to crumble from the side, tumbling down the slope as more and more rocks joined the landslide.

After examining the steep slope of the fragile mountain, Shroomish gulped. "No, thanks. I'll just take the cleaning option instead-"

"Hell, no!" Incineroar snapped back. "We can do this. This is easy! We only have to climb a mountain. It can't get any easier than that."

Shaymin shook her head. "Actually, that's where you're wrong! Not only do you have to climb the mountain, but you will be given Disney based challenges along the way. If you find a piece of paper, read it because your challenge will be on that piece of paper. No psychic abilities or flying allowed for this challenge, understand?" After a beat, Shaymin gleefully continued, "Good. Begin!"

 **0000**

" **Wow, Shaymin," Salazzle remarked, shaking her head. "Making us climb a mountain that is bound to have landslides while quoting Disney? That has to be new."**

 **0000**

Froslass glanced at her team-members as they started to trek up the steep slope until her eyes landed on Gastly. Smiling kindly at him, she asked, "Hey, do you want to pair up, Gastly?"

With an excited grin, Gastly began to reply, "Sure-"

"Sorry," Buneary quickly butted in. "He's already travelling with me."

"Wait a minute," Froslass responded quickly. "Shaymin said nothing about groups or pairs, so we can just go together as a trio."

Gastly smiled brightly. "Sure!"

"Only if you can keep up with us," Buneary added with a scowl, before turning on her heel and marching away. Without a word, Gastly smiled apologetically towards Froslass before darting off to catch up with the bunny.

 **0000**

" **I'm not really sure if this relationship between Buneary and Gastly is healthy," Froslass pointed out. "But then again, it's none of my business."**

 **0000**

" _Re-enact the scene from the movie 'Up' where Ellie Fredrickson is dying. You are to be her husband, Carl Fredrickson, and Garchomp is to be the dying wife_ ," Lucario said, reading off a slip of paper he had found just at the bottom of the mountain. "Of course I get the movie where the wife - the love of my life - dies. Of course."

Garchomp snickered at him. "If I were your wife, I'd certainly want to die."

"Wha- ouch!" Lucario exclaimed, clutching his heart with his paw. "That's not very-"

"Lucario!" Shaymin called out from the side, shaking her head exasperatedly. "Did Carl ever yell at his wife in the movie?"

Lucario pouted slightly. "No, Shaymin."

"Then I would be quiet if you want to remain in the game."

"I'm not sure if I even want to be here with all my girls having to _die_ once they are married to me!" Lucario protested. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Stunfisk giggling slightly, before immediately covering her mouth and scowling.

 **0000**

" **Did I just make Stunfisk… laugh?" Lucario asked, mystified.**

 **0000**

" **I wasn't laughing** _ **with**_ **him!" Stunfisk insisted. "I was laughing** _ **at**_ **him and his stupidity. Ugh. He is not funny. Not even a little bit. Nope. Not funny at all."**

 **After a moment, though, she burst into hysterics. "But did you see his face when he read that paper about his wife character dying? Oh, that was gold!"**

 **0000**

"I can't believe we have to speak like the characters from Finding Nemo," Absol remarked incredulously, staring down at the paper in his paws. "Look, Espeon. It says it right here that-"

"I'm not touching it, and I'm not coming near you," Espeon hissed, sauntering away. "You're a bloody dark-type, for Arceus' sake-"

Absol shook his head, clucking his tongue. "Don't be like that, otherwise we will lose for our team. You have to sound Australian! And Nemo was not racist either. How about every time you think of something racist to say or if you feel like swearing, you spit out our best Australian impression instead?"

The psychic type only glowered in response.

Taking her lack of response as a response in itself, Absol grinned before asking, "Have you seen my son?"

"Fuck you."

"What was that, Espeon?" Absol questioned, winking and pointing to Shaymin was watching from nearby. "Do you want our team to lose?"

Espeon twitched her eye, before forcing a sarcastic smile onto her face.

"Crocodile Dundee!"

 **0000**

" **I need bleach for my mouth," Espeon hissed. "And if there are any leftovers, I'll be happy to feed it to that bastard of a dark-type."**

 **0000**

"Hey, Zoroark!" Meowstic called out, waving a slice of paper in his paw. "Looks like we've gotten our Disney film challenge."

Peering over his shoulders, Zoroark narrowed her eyes. "Cool. What do we need?"

After reading over the note, Meowstic crumpled it in his hands, shaking his head with bemusement.

"Poison. We need poison."

* * *

Most of the teams had already begun the tumultuous hike up the ragged mountain, several of them stumbling but catching themselves on sharp pinnacles of rock before they fell. Two Pokémon that were particularly struggling to haul themselves up the steep edge were Musharna and Pumpkaboo.

"Let's take a rest here," Pumpkaboo suggested, panting as she leaned against the wall. "We've come a long, long way."

Musharna glanced down the cliff before them. "Pumpkaboo… We've only climbed up two metres-"

"Shhh!" Pumpkaboo rebutted, before turning away adamantly. "We've done lots. Look! We even found a little cavern! Maybe there's a shortcut in here, or something." Without hesitating, Pumpkaboo shoved herself into the cavern, with Musharna obligingly following behind her.

After a moment of exploring the murky depths, Pumpkaboo found a small sheet of paper infringed between two slabs of stone. Pulling it out, she read it to herself, before turning to Musharna.

"Our challenge is based on Beauty and the Beast," she declared.

Musharna nodded her head. "Which character?"

"Forté," Pumpkaboo read aloud, before frowning with bewilderment. "Who the fuck is Forté?"

"Isn't Forté the…" Musharna's gentle voice was interrupted by a low rumbling echoing from the back of the cavern. Just as she raised her yes to source the sound, she found a large piano sitting idly, a random spotlight shining on it from Arceus-knew-where. "That's right… Forté is the piano… Or at least, the man who played the piano…"

Pumpkaboo bit her lip. "Do you know how to play the piano?"

"No…"

"Fuck."

 **0000**

 **Pumpkaboo smiled somewhat shyly. "I… er… used to play piano. A long time ago. Like, a long, long time ago. As in, a long, long, long, long, long time ago. I mean, a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long-"**

 **0000**

Absol and Espeon, as far apart as they could be on the steep mountain slope, were calling out loudly to each other.

"Have you seen my son?"

"I swear to Arceus, Absol, if you say that one more-"

Absol snarled playfully. "Nemo! Is that the way you talk to your father?"

"If you're Nemo's father, I'm honestly not surprised that he fucking ran away."

"What was that, Nemo?"

Espeon growled at him. "I said-" Just as she was about to scream profanities, she held herself back and released a soothing breath. "I said Kangaroo's Pingas!"

Froslass, who was standing a slight distance away from them, twitched her eye.

 **0000**

" **What the actual hell is even happening on this show?" Froslass muttered to herself, shaking her head.**

 **0000**

Lucario and Garchomp were still at the bottom of the mountain, staring at the piece of paper in hand.

"So, how do I pretend to die?" Garchomp asked. "Why can't we just climb this mountain? I don't fucking know how to act."

"It's easy," Lucario offered. "Er, you just kind of, I don't know, pretend to strangle yourself and choke. When you're choking, it looks like you're dying."

Garchomp only blinked. "The fuck?"

"Here," the fighting-type sighed, reaching out with his hands. "I'll try to help."

As delicately as he could, Lucario placed his hands around Garchomp's neck. With a gentle squeeze, Garchomp immediately began to choke, her eyes widening as she gasped for breath. After a moment, Shaymin swooped down, screaming at the fighting-type.

"LUCARIO! STOP CHOKING YOUR WIFE! THAT IS NOT DISNEY AT ALL! YOU AND GARCHOMP ARE OUT!"

Lucario immediately released Garchomp's neck, allowing her to catch her breath.

"We were so close, too…" Lucario murmured.

The dragon-type only shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm going to throw rocks at Vespiquen."

"What? Isn't that a bit harsh?"

"Says the Pokémon who strangled me!"

 **0000**

 **Lucario rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Damn. I either call them beastly, or I strangle them, or I mistake their gender. There's just no winning for me, is there?"**

 **0000**

"Don't you think she's a bit clingy?" Froslass whispered to Gastly as they trailed behind Buneary. The two of them, being ghost-types, were easily just floating slowly up the mountain as Buneary pulled herself up with rocks.

"Shhh!" Gastly hushed, glancing up tentatively at Buneary. "Don't let her hear you. You know, she's battled and defeated a Salamance with a table only?"

Froslass rolled her eyes. "Please. A table? We're Pokémon. Who the hell told you that?"

"She told me!"

"She can't be serious," Froslass remarked dubiously. "What, did she squash him into a pressed grape or something?"

Gastly choked at the thought, his face turning pale. Before he could respond, Buneary stopped climbing and turned down to face them.

"No, I didn't squash him like a grape," Buneary answered. "I ripped the leg off the table and impaled the Salamance. Clean through the chest and into the wall behind him."

Without another word, Buneary continued to climb up the wall.

"Well," Froslass muttered. "I'll give you points for resourceful."

* * *

"Beauty and the Beast," Shroomish sighed as he read the paper. He glanced at Noctowl, who was struggling to climb up the mountain without flying, barely grasping onto the rocks with her talons. "I guess you're the beauty and I'm the beast?"

Noctowl opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, her wings began to expand, along with the rest of her body. She began to grow bigger and bigger, until her entire body was about a quarter of the mountain size.

"Noctowl!" Shroomish exclaimed. "You're… big?"

The flying-type glanced over her own body in horror "What just happened? I'm huge!"

"Yeah, you are," Shroomish agreed, before widening his eyes. "Wait, no, I don't mean that you're fat; I mean that you're, you know, _bigger_. Not bigger in _that_ way, just bigger."

"I get it, Shroomish," Noctowl answered with a chuckle. "I get it. I'm not Stunfisk, remember? Not that Stunfisk is bad or anything. I'm just…"

Shroomish nodded in understanding, before asking, "But why are you big? It makes no sense."

"I have no idea-" Suddenly, Noctowl cut herself off. "Oh! Beauty and the Beast! Except you, Shroomish, are the Beauty and I'm the Beast!"

"Well, how do we climb up the mountain now?" Shroomish asked, gesturing to the enlarged body of Noctowl. "If we try climbing, this entire mountain will crumble under your weight - no offence. And you're not allowed to fly, either."

Noctowl shrugged her shoulders. "Looks like we'll just sit here until we find a way to the top."

"Please don't eat me," Shroomish joked half-heartedly.

The bird only huffed. "You wouldn't be much of a mouthful."

 **0000**

" **Why would Noctowl be the Beast?" Shroomish asked. "She's too friendly. I bet Shaymin only did it so that it's tiny mushroom paired up with big bird; to see whether Noctowl tries to eat me. Only Shaymin would be crazy enough to do that."**

 **0000**

" _Prince Ali was a thief. So are you. Steal the rainbow headband from Exeggutor."_

Banette's eyes widened as she read the paper again and again, before glancing up to stare helplessly at Exeggutor. To her surprise, the tree Pokémon was managing to walk right up the mountain without a struggle, walking up the slope as if he were simply walking on a pavement. Defying all laws of physics, the Egg Brothers walked up the vertical wall, as if their feet were sticking them against the stones.

"How are they doing that…?" Banette whispered to herself, before shaking herself out of her trance. She had to get that headband off.

She trekked after them, floating up the rocky edge, before reaching out and tugging at the band on their head.

"What do you want?" Tor snapped immediately, whipping his head back.

Banette smiled weakly. "I've come to take that headband off your head."

Egg and Ex exchanged alarmed glances, but Tor merely cackled. "You've signed your death warrant, you maggot!"

Though her eyes widened with worry, Banette resisted from shrinking back. "Please, just give me the band. What do you need it for, anyways?"

"To enslave us!" Egg shrieked suddenly.

Ex nodded in agreement. "To corrupt us!"

"O...kay?" Banette finally said, though tentatively. "And…?"

"Come closer," Tor hissed, his voice deep and cold as he attempted to glare at his brothers. "Then I might tell you."

The ghost-type took a step closer, but jerked backwards as soon as she saw Tor swipe his foot at her. Squealing slightly with terror, Banette asked, "What was that for, jerk?!"

"For trying to take away my band, bitch."

Banette arched a brow sceptically at the Egg Brothers. "Who gave you that band?"

"No one-"

Tor was interrupted by Egg, who hastily shrieked, "Magikarp! Magikarp gave it to us!"

"And _why_ did Magikarp give you that band?"

"Because it's part of a trade we made," Ex explained, but Tor snarled.

Shaking his head hysterically, Tor growled. "Magikarp gave it to us because He is darkness, He is glory and He is eternal!"

 **0000**

 **Banette stared wide-eyed at the camera. "I am so confused…"**

 **0000**

Primarina and Magikarp were the final contestants left stranded on the bottom of the mountain, unable to find a way to scale the jagged cliff. After a moment of patrolling the island, Shaymin found them lurking at the bottom, casually talking about the ocean.

"What are you two doing?" Shaymin asked abruptly. "The Kinky Kyogres are going to lose for the fourth time in a row if you two don't help them get to the top of that island."

Magikarp flopped helplessly. "If we even try to scale this mountain, the two of us will die and inevitably lose the Kyogres two more members. We are being wise."

"Fine," Shaymin stubbornly huffed, before grinning. "Since you two are water-types, I'll do you a favour. You still have to get to the top of the mountain, but instead of scaling it, you can take a dive in the ocean and find another route. That, and your challenge is to act like the members of The Little Mermaid, too!"

"But if we're underwater and roaming around the ocean, how are we supposed to get up to the top of the cliff?" Primarina asked, her face crinkling in bafflement.

Shaymin merely shrugged.

"Eh. Work it out for yourself."

* * *

"Look at that, Pancham," Lurantis snickered, pointing down the rocky cliff to gesture at Primarina and Magikarp. "Your two team-mates are unable to climb up the cliff, so they've started to retreat back to the ocean."

Pancham hesitantly leaned towards the edge, peering over the cliff. "Oh, those poor things! Maybe I should go down and help-"

"Help them climb to the top of the mountain?" Lurantis completed, grinning menacingly as Pancham nodded in agreement. "How do you suppose you'll do that? Carry them up? Don't tell her I said this, but I hear that Primarina is quite heavy."

"I…" Pancham bit his lip. "I will go down and help them come up! I have to. We must help all our team members, otherwise there's no integrity-"

Lurantis laughed sinisterly. "Oh, yes. Go ahead. Climb all the way down and bring them up. Your integrity depends on it. Go on."

"I will!" Pancham insisted.

"Good."

Just as Pancham was about to take a wobbly step down the cliff, he suddenly halted. His mind was swimming with thoughts; while his conscience screamed at him to help out his team-members, a part of him knew that it would be playing into Lurantis's hands.

Was he going to abandon his integrity; choose to do the smart thing over the right thing?

"Actually," Pancham murmured, heaving himself up again. "I'm not going to do it."

A glint of emotion flickered in Lurantis's eyes, so quick that Pancham could hardly distinguish whether it was amusement, frustration, surprise or all three. His lip curling up into a grin, Lurantis tilted his head mockingly to the side.

"What's this?" The mantis chided. "Is Nanny Pancham growing out of his pathetic fantasies of integrity?"

Pancham knew that Lurantis was trying to provoke him, just as he had done that morning with the food fight. Pushing back his every desire to reach out and punch the mantis, Pancham bowed his head down, glaring at the ground below him.

"Pancham isn't growing out of those fantasies," the panda whispered to himself, his voice heavy with regret. "Pancham is giving up on them."

 **0000**

" **I'm not falling for it," Pancham declared with determination, though the vitality that was always radiating from him was dulled completely. "I felt awful for it, like I've lost a part of myself. But I can't keep getting angry and trying to fight him every time he provokes me. And I can't keep trying to make him see the light when he obviously doesn't give a shit."**

 **The small panda shook his head sadly, his eyes dim with sorrow.**

" **I'm not falling for it."**

 **0000**

" **He didn't fall for it," Lurantis hissed. "He's giving up his own integrity for common sense."**

 **Rolling his head back, he snickered.**

" **Good. I needed a challenge, anyways. And it's so much fun seeing all that energy and vibrancy drain out of him. Poor Nanny Pancham really is growing up."**

 **0000**

Mimikyu, her face bright with determination, forced herself to climb up the mountain, trailing a slight distance behind Ribombee. She knew that if she were to find evidence of what that bee was up to, she was going to have to keep him within an arm's length.

"You okay, Mimikyu?" Ribombee called out pleasantly from above. "It's, um, quite a steep mountain, isn't it?"

"Y-yeah!" Mimikyu hastily agreed, her entire body beginning to quiver with fear. "I'm fine! Y-you?"

Ribombee sighed sadly, leaning his head forwards to balance it against a rock. "I just miss Jigglypuff, really."

"I'm sure you d-do."

"Yeah, I do," Ribombee melancholically added. "I just miss her so much. She was such a good friend, and I'm usually really unlucky but she still stuck with me no matter what. We need more Pokémon like her in this world. She was so cute, and her voice was beautiful-"

As Ribombee began to ramble about the brilliance of Jigglypuff, Mimikyu halted in her tracks, completely bewildered.

The Ribombee she was seeing now was nothing like the one she had seen last night.

 **0000**

" **I dunno," Mimikyu sighed. "I can't tell! He seems so nice, and he's kinda shy as well! Maybe he's not as bad as I think he is. Maybe there is more to him? I just… don't know."**

 **0000**

" _101 Dalmatians. You and Salazzle must pretend to be someone taking their dog for a walk."_

Golisopod grinned as he showed the note to Salazzle, before gesturing at the leash that was lying limply on the ground. "Come on, Salazzle, you're wearing the leash."

"Hell no!" Salazzle refuted, kicking the leash aside. "I'm not being your dog. If you make me wear that, I will actually punch you in the face."

The arthropod snickered. "Please. Say something that will actually make me scared."

"You'll be scared when I skin you alive and squish your eyeballs beneath my feet."

"That's the spirit."

"Brute."

"Brat."

Before they could continue with their bickering, Shaymin sauntered past them, calling out, "Actually, Golisopod has to be the dog on the leash, and Salazzle has to walk him!"

As soon as the words left the host's mouth, Salazzle turned to grin devilishly at Golisopod.

"Buckle up, Brute."

* * *

"I don't know, I don't think it would be healthy for your ears if you let me play this thing," Pumpkaboo insisted, hesitantly eyeing the pianoforte. "You might not even like the timbre of a piano."

Musharna gave the pumpkin a curious look. "Worried about my ears… are you?"

"You might be in for a lot of pain if you listen to me playing piano."

"Self-conscious today, too?"

Pumpkaboo grumbled beneath her breath. "If Shaymin is snooping around, I'd really rather not have her tell Victreebel that I'm lousy at playing. Just… Stand in the corner if you don't want to suffer from the sound too much."

Chuckling in response, Musharna moved to where Pumpkaboo indicated.

Swallowing down her nerves, Pumpkaboo slid onto the smooth bench before her, folding back the lid of the pianoforte to reveal an array of gleaming black and white keys.

"I haven't played since I was much younger," Pumpkaboo admitted, her voice heavy with nostalgia.

"You don't have to play if you really don't want to…" Musharna offered gently.

Watching the keys of the piano glimmer in front of her, Pumpkaboo shook her head. "No, I must. For the challenge. Besides, there might not be another day I get to play. I would consider my life very sad if I never got to play again."

Musharna nodded, silently allowing Pumpkaboo to make herself comfortable. Without hands, Pumpkaboo leapt onto the piano, standing on the smooth and cool surface of the ivory keys.

"I need to warm up," Pumpkaboo blurted, plunging her feet into the keys as delicately as she could, a smooth wave of music pouring out of the instrument. Once she had started seeing the familiar notes in her mind again, the muscle memory sparking movement within her feet, she began to play the familiar chords that sang the song of her childhood.

Each melody she played told a different story; sorrowful stories of loneliness, light and dancing melodies of youthful innocence, complex and clever pieces that expressed the pain and beauty of breathing.

The music crashed around Musharna, roaring through the emptiness of the cavern. The hollow sound that had resonated the room suddenly overflowed with sound. With a final, explosive chord, Pumpkaboo ended the piece, panting.

When the pumpkin glanced up, Musharna's eyes were lined with silver, struggling for words. Finally, the psychic-type breathed out softly.

"Show me… Show me how you did that…."

With a bashful smile, Pumpkaboo closed her eyes, her heart thumping with excitement. Blinking back the memories that washed over her, she glanced fondly at the piano.

"We can come here every day, you know. We can come here and I can teach you how to play," Pumpkaboo offered.

Musharna nodded eagerly. "Yes… Please…"

 **0000**

" **I've never seen anyone play with such passion…" Musharna managed to mumble in a sort of trance. "It was beautiful… Simply beautiful..."**

 **0000**

"Give me the headband, please?" Banette asked once more, reaching over to clasp her fingers around the rainbow band. "We're on the same team, and my challenge stated that I had to-"

"No!" Tor shrieked, shaking his head furiously.

"Calm down, Tor," Ex warned.

Tor was too busy hissing at Banette to take notice of his brother's warning. As he continued to hysterically shake his head, the band around their heads began to loosen, sliding from the top.

Seizing the chance, Banette plunged her hands forwards and ripped the band from their heads.

"Gotcha!" She exclaimed. As soon as the band fell off their heads, however, the Egg Brothers suddenly lost their ability to stick onto the walls. Within seconds, the brothers were plummeting to the ground, crying out in dismay.

Banette instantly dropped the ring from her hands, covering her own mouth with shock as she heard a loud crash down where the Egg Brothers had landed.

"Sorry!" she called out to them. "I didn't realise that the band was the only reason you guys could stick to walls and things…" she trailed away, her brows furrowing.

"Wait a minute. Why do you have a headband that allows you to do that in the first place?"

 **0000**

 **Banette narrowed her eyes. "Something is up with the headband. And it's about as fishy as the Magikarp that gave it to them."**

 **0000**

" _Fight like Mulan_."

Buneary blinked at the paper in her hand, before turning to face Froslass and Gastly. "Well, that's easy. But who am I fighting-"

Out of nowhere, a Slaking climbed down towards them shaking his fist mercilessly towards Buneary.

"Shit," Froslass and Gastly murmured in unison, but Buneary only grinned.

"Bring it on, big guy."

Slaking gave no warning as he attacked, feinting right and aiming low as he attempted to slice Buneary cleanly in half. The bunny dodged him with brutal efficiency, deflecting and positioning to the offensive before bringing her fist forwards and aiming a blow that left Slaking's ribs bleating in pain.

Grabbing a stick, Buneary went to sweep Slaking's legs out, but the Slaking stomped hard enough on the stick that it snapped in two. As it did, Slaking twisted, lunging to bring his own fist into Buneary's face.

Catching the fist with both of her hands, Buneary dodged, going low, and kicked at the Slaking's legs again, sending the large Pokémon flying to the ground, gasping for breath as pain raced through his body.

Gastly and Buneary's jaw dropped. They knew Buneary was tough, but they had no idea she was _that_ tough.

"Well, you certainly made a man out of him," Froslass remarked.

Buneary grinned triumphantly. "Fuck, yeah, I did!"

"YOU'RE OUT!" Shaymin called from above. "Mulan never swore in the Disney film now, did she? Come on, people. This is Disney, not fucking Cabaret!"

"That's not fair!" Gastly protested boldly. "She beat that Slaking real good!"

Shaymin cackled. "Life isn't fair. Deal with it!"

 **0000**

 **Buneary pouted her lips. "Aww. And I was having so much fun, too."**

 **0000**

" _You three must be the three witches from Macbeth_."

Haxorus groaned dismissively at the large pot of bubbling stew in front of her, before turning to face Skitty and Stunfisk. "Wait, but the three witches aren't even Disney!"

"Yeah," Skitty agreed. "Macbeth is Shakespeare, not Disney."

"Plus, I would hardly consider myself a witch," Stunfisk added, rolling her eyes. "Where is Shaymin? Tell that ratty host to get her ass down here!"

Within moments, Shaymin had appeared, her face a deadpan.

"Do you three want to be automatically eliminated, or what?" she asked with a snarl.

The three Pokémon exchanged nervous glances before immediately crowding around the brewing pot and chanting in hushed, wobbly voices.

" _Double, double, toil and trouble…"_

Shaymin grinned.

"That's more like it."

* * *

"Why is Garchomp throwing rocks at us?" Krokorok asked, jerking himself backwards as he avoided yet another swarm of pelting rocks.

"She's not throwing them at _us_ ," Vespiquen sighed, frowning. "She's throwing them at _me_. I hope you don't feel too violated."

Krokorok gave her a sceptical look. "Why do you just let her push you around? Why don't you just tell her off or anything?"

"Vengeance is never a good thing, Krokorok. A queen would never act upon vengeance."

"But she hurt you!" Krokorok insisted. "You can't just let her get away with it."

Smiling sadly, Vespiquen patted Krokorok gently on his head. "Plenty of Pokémon have hurt me. If I'm going to go after every single one of them, I'm going to have a busy life ahead of me." She began climbing ahead, but after a moment, she realised that Krokorok was no longer following her.

Instead, the crocodile had his arms folded across his chest. "So you're just going to let Garchomp get away with bullying you on _live_ television, where all your bees can see you being dishonoured and, in turn, lose their respect for you?"

Vespiquen opened her mouth to protest, but clamped it shut immediately.

"Trust me," Krokorok said, glancing down. "I know. I've been bullied before."

 **0000**

" **I don't know what to do anymore," Vespiquen confessed, burying her face into her hands. "A queen would never do anything for revenge, and I must be a queen. But Salazzle and Krokorok have both been encouraging me to step up for myself. But what will the bees think? Will they be proud of me for fighting back, or will they be disgusted by any sort of malicious behaviour from me?"**

 **0000**

" _Re-enact everyone's favourite, dramatic scene from The Lion King, in which Scar pushes Mufasa off the cliff."_

Lurantis grinned at the cliff before them, before waving the paper in front of Pancham's face. "Looks like you're going to have to fall off the cliff, Nanny Pancham. Take one for the team, hey?"

To his surprise, Pancham obliged without a remark, his usual fierce flame completely extinguished. After taking several steps towards the edge, though, his steps faltered.

"No."

The mantis arched his brow at the panda. "Pardon me; did you say something?"

"I said _no_ ," Pancham answered, turning around. "No, I'm not being your toy. No, I'm not going to let you push me off the cliff." Rather than the childish, stubborn voice that Lurantis was used to hearing, Pancham spoke in a low, declarative voice, firm with conviction and maturity.

"But you _must_ ," Lurantis retorted. "Why, the challenge says that you must."

Pancham shook his head. "No, it doesn't. It just says that one of us has to. You can be the one to fall off the cliff, you know." With a quick lunge, Pancham grasped onto Lurantis's scythe, before wildly tossing him towards the cliff.

The rocks at the edge crumbled as soon as Lurantis's feet came into contact with them, his pink pants bristling against the disintegrating rocks. Without warning, the ground below him collapsed, leaving the mantis hanging at the edge, desperately clinging onto Pancham's hand.

Rather than being scared of the fall that was to happen if Pancham were to let go, Lurantis glowered at the panda.

"You're really going to throw me off the cliff?" Lurantis spat. "Where is your integrity, Pancham? Where is all that bullshit that you had been going on and on about? The Pancham with integrity would have stepped up and taken the fall instead, rather than making his poor teammate do the dirty work. Where has your integrity gone?"

Pancham blinked miserably before opening his mouth to speak.

"It's about to take a great, big fall."

With that, the panda threw the mantis off the cliff.

 **0000**

" **I had to do it," Pancham despairingly protested. "I had to abandon my integrity. And my tribe can hate me for that."**

 **Wiping back furious tears, Pancham shook his head. "I had to. I couldn't just let him make my integrity my own weakness. I have to be smarter. Even if it means that I have to abandon all hope of making other people good. Because, these days, no good deed goes unpunished. Ever."**

 **0000**

 **Primarina blinked back her surprise. "Did I just see Pancham push Lurantis off a cliff?"**

 **0000**

"Jeez," Shaymin murmured, heaving a sigh. "It sure is taking forever for these troops to climb up a simple mountain."

After a moment, she heard a hysterical shriek from above, and looked upwards in horror to see Primarina and Magikarp flying straight towards her, balancing carefully on a wave of water.

The water swept over the mountain, causing it to rumble as the wave smacked over the loose rocks. Her flower-crown drenched, Shaymin glared at the water-types.

"How did you-"

"Surf," Primarina cut in, grinning at Magikarp.

The fish splashed on the land. "Fuck yeah."

Shaymin pouted her lip. "While impressive, you two are out. After all, neither Ariel nor Flounder would swear in a Disney movie."

The two water-types dropped their jaws.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Fuck you."

Shaymin shrugged her shoulders. "I never said the challenge was going to be easy. The real challenge for you lot is to learn how to keep your mouths clean."

 **0000**

" **Honestly," Primarina huffed. "This show can be so covfefe-"**

 **0000**

" _Sing the song at the start of The Lion King_ ," Incineroar read aloud, before groaning. "Seriously? Who even knows the lyrics to that song? Hell, Shaymin doesn't even know the name of the damn song-"

"NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA!" Lycanroc belted at the top of his lungs, clapping his hands proudly. "Your turn, Incineroar!"

"I don't know the lyrics."

Lycanroc shook his head stubbornly. "For the Meat Train! For the team!"

With a sigh, Incineroar glanced out at the horizon, scowling at himself as he took a deep breath in.

"NAAAANTS SO WHEN YAAA GONNA BUY ME PIZZA YA!"

From above, they could hear a snort of laughter.

"Close," called out Shaymin's voice. "But not close enough. You're out!"

* * *

Pumpkaboo and Musharna were still seated on the piano, Musharna hesitantly placing her little feet against the keys as she followed Pumpkaboo's instructions.

After a moment of teaching the psychic-type the several harmonious scales, Pumpkaboo suddenly leapt up from her seat.

"Shit! The challenge - we completely forgot! We need to climb up the mountain, too!"

They both rushed out the cavern, craning their necks to glance towards the peak, to measure how much further they had to climb.

Just as they stepped out of the cavern, a large rock fell for Musharna, with Pumpkaboo shoving Musharna out of the way just in time. They both watched with unadulterated terror as the rock smashed on the ground beside them, splitting into fragmented shards.

"Actually," Pumpkaboo began, glancing back up at the mounting. "Can we go back inside and keep playing piano instead of facing our deaths?"

"Good idea…"

 **0000**

" **Would I like to actually participate? With those rocks, no. Can I participate?" Pumpkaboo rolled her eyes, then proceeded to point at her short, stubby legs. "No."**

 **0000**

"I can't do this, Krokorok!"

The crocodile sighed at Vespiquen. "But you _have_ to. The challenge is literally asking you to be Ursula and steal someone's voice. It can't be that hard."

"But how do you take away someone's voice?"

"Um…" Krokorok shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure."

As they continued to trek up the mountain, a voice hissed at them.

"Pst! Vespiquen! You'll never be able to fulfil your task! You're too pathetically nice!"

Both Vespiquen and Krokorok turned to see the source of the voice: a Seviper, who was grinning menacingly at them.

"Ignore her, Vespiquen," Krokorok advised as he continued to climb up. Vespiquen, however, lingered behind, watching the snake with beady eyes.

"What did you say?" Vespiquen asked politely, balling her fists.

The Seviper slithered towards her, grinning sardonically. "I said that you're pathetic. You know you are. Your bees know you are. They've lost all their respect for you by now, especially seeing how much you're allowing yourself to be bossed around by some random."

"What else can I do?" Vespiquen retorted. "Vengeance is not-"

"Queenly?" Seviper responded with a snicker. "Neither is acting like a meek little princess. You're not fit to serve. That's that."

Suddenly, Vespiquen felt a wave of heat rush through her body as she fumed with an inexplicable spark of hatred. Her veins burned with resent at the Seviper; barely being able to hold herself back from throwing herself at it.

She couldn't stand it any longer. Everyone was bossing her around. From Salazzle and Krokorok's continuous pestering, to Garchomp's relentless bullying and now to the Seviper's merciless abuse. It was too much for her. Too much.

Without warning, she lunged forwards and grabbed Seviper's tongue.

"I've tried to have patience," Vespiquen pointed out. "A queen never gets angry. But I am so, so sick of you. You hear me? Sick of it!"

With a tug, she ripped the tongue out of Seviper's mouth.

And to her horror and amazement, she _enjoyed_ it.

She didn't enjoy ripping out the tongue; no, she found it gruesome and horrendous. But a kernel within her felt relieved at the thought of justice being served; at the thought that she finally managed to dish out revenge without having to contain herself.

It felt so good to be able to stand up for her own pride as a queen.

"Erm, wow," Shaymin chimed from above, her eyes wide with surprise. "I guess you managed to get rid of someone's voice, Vespiquen. While that's kinda cool, that's not exactly how Ursula did it. Ripping tongues out is kind of gross. So, you're out!"

Vespiquen turned to face the Seviper, smiling apologetically. "I'm really sorry, but you were kind of being a jerk and I needed to do it. I never knew that revenge could feel this good!"

Nodding with caution, the Seviper darted back into the hills, not daring to look back.

 **0000**

" **Okay, I admit, that was kind of horrible," Vespiquen admitted. "But that was my first time ever doing anything out of vengeance. And it felt so…** _ **liberating**_ **."**

 **0000**

"So since you're too big to climb up this mountain, how can we get to the top?" Shroomish asked, sighing as he huddled up against the wall. "I feel like Shaymin just wanted to screw us over so that the Kyogres can finally win a challenge."

Noctowl glanced up thoughtfully, before her eyes brightened. "Maybe we're not supposed to make it to the top! Maybe our purpose in this challenge is to send all the Kyogres back down, so that someone from the Groudons does win."

After a moment of pondering on it, Shroomish grinned. "That's perfect! You're big enough that, with one flap of your wing, you would send anyone coming up this way. That's a great idea, Noctowl!"

"Thanks, dude," Noctowl answered, glancing down humbly. "And look! I think I hear someone coming!"

They both quieted down, and sure enough, there were two voices snapping at each other from a distance. The silhouettes of the voices came into view, revealing it to be Salazzle and Golisopod.

"Stop tugging me so hard!" Golisopod scowled, gesturing at the leash around his neck. "Otherwise I will bite you."

Salazzle rolled her eyes. "No, you can't. You're on a leash."

"Leashes can snap."

"So can your head."

Restraining herself from chuckling, Noctowl winked at Shroomish before extending her wing and gracefully flapping it. As soon as she had done so, a heavy gust of wind was blowing away at Salazzle and Golisopod, firing them straight off the edge of the mountain.

"This is your fault!" Golisopod was growling at Salazzle as they fell down the hill, their voices fading. All Noctowl and Shroomish could hear afterwards was the pair screaming profanities at each other.

Exchanging a triumphant glance with Shroomish, Noctowl grinned. "We did it!"

To her dismay, though, Shroomish's face was pale.

"Erm, Noctowl?"

"Hm?"

Shroomish gulped. "That was Golisopod and Salazzle!"

"So?" Noctowl asked, staring at the mushroom sceptically.

"THEY ARE ON OUR TEAM!"

Noctowl's eyes widened.

"Well, shit."

 **0000**

 **Salazzle folded her arms, glaring. "If either of those two have a backbone, they won't even bother coming to the elimination ceremony."**

 **0000**

"Are you okay?" Ribombee asked Mimikyu, his voice soft and shy. "I dunno. You've been staring at me funny this entire time."

Mimikyu nodded her head rapidly. "Y-yes. Definitely!"

The bee glanced down below. "I can't believe how far we've made it; we're already halfway up. Usually, with my bad luck, I'd only be-"

Before he could finish, he heard screaming from above. Glancing up, his face turned pallid as he saw both Golisopod and Salazzle falling down, with him directly in their path.

"Uh-oh."

As soon as he uttered the words, Golisopod had smacked into him, sending him falling to the ground along with the arthropod and reptile. Mimikyu watched with wide-eyed horror as the three of them crashed with a resounding thud.

"Well," she murmured to herself. "He certainly wasn't lying about his bad luck."

* * *

"How many more metres do you think we have left to climb?" Zoroark asked, her voice heavy with exhaustion.

Meowstic merely arched his brow at her. "Do you really want me to tell you how much in metres? I think kilometres would be a better unit, considering how much we have left."

"Damn," Zoroark cursed, heaving herself onto a ledge and resting for a moment. "I think we should catch a quick break, because my paws are covered with sweat. If we keep this up, I'm going to slip and fall."

"Great idea," Meowstic replied with accordance, gesturing at a small opening. "Plus, there seems to be a small cavern there; we can rest there without risking falling off this mountain."

The two nodded at each other before strolling into the cavern, only to be greeted by Shroomish and an enlarged Noctowl.

"Noctowl?" Zoroark managed to stammer, her face twisted with mystified awe. "Why are you so big?"

The owl shrugged, smiling weakly. "We're supposed to be Beauty and the Beast, and she's the Beast."

"Aren't you supposed to be running away from her, Shroomish?" Meowstic asked, bemused as he examined the height difference between the pair. Shroomish shook his head.

"Stockholm Syndrome."

" _Ah_ ," Meowstic breathed in understanding.

Zoroark, on the other hand, seemed dubious. "Wait, you guys are on the Groudons and Meowstic and I are on the Kyogres. Should we even be chilling with you guys?"

Smiling brightly, Noctowl nodded eagerly.

"Be our guest!"

 **0000**

 **Meowstic's jaw dropped. "I didn't even realise we had a Noctowl in this show!"**

 **0000**

"So, apparently, as part of our challenge of being three witches, we have to make prophecies and predict the future," Haxorus explained, showing Skitty the back side of the paper.

Skitty squinted as she read the traces of ink. "And apparently, if one of us gets a prophecy wrong, all three of us will be out of the challenge."

"Alright then," Stunfisk sighed. "Though I still do not see why these fake pimples are necessary. Do all witches have to have pimples?"

"Those aren't fake," Haxorus noted. "Those have always been there on your-"

Skitty, seeing the Stunfisk's face flush with anger, immediately hushed Haxorus by exclaiming, "My prophecy is that… um… I bet Ribombee and Jigglypuff are in love!"

"I bet that Lucario and Stunfisk will fall in love," Haxorus replied, winking at Stunfisk.

Her face seething with irritation, Stunfisk flicked her imaginary hair to the side as she said, "I bet that, due to my stunning looks and beauty, the Groudons will have yet another successful victory!"

"One of you is wrong," Shaymin informed them through the loudspeakers. "I won't say who, though. You're all out!"

And without another word, the rocky ledge crumbled beneath the three witches, and they screamed as they tumbled down onto the ground, the rocks crashing down with them.

 **0000**

" **I wonder which one of us were wrong," Haxorus curiously muttered, her head tilted to the side. "It was probably the one Stunfisk said about our team winning. Maybe the Kyogres will finally win a challenge."**

 **0000**

"So, now that you're all big, Noctowl, do you feel any changes?" Zoroark asked as her, Meowstic, Shroomish and Noctowl all sat inside the cavern, stretching their legs as they relaxed. "Is it like being pregnant?"

Noctowl nodded slightly. "Well, I am hungrier."

Exchanging a quick glance with Zoroark, Meowstic leapt to his feet. "Lucky for you! On our way up, we were just collecting some food."

"What sort of food?" Shroomish asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Apples," Zoroark answered curtly.

Seeing the suspicion increase on Shroomish's features, Meowstic quickly added, "You know how in Mystery Dungeons, we usually take apples to replenish energy? We decided to do that, too. We already ate lots on our way up, though, so we may as well share them with you."

Though tentative, after hearing a large rumble echo from Noctowl's stomach, the group agreed.

However, as soon as Noctowl tossed an apple into her mouth, she start choking, belching out bits of apple as she coughed hysterically. Shroomish, too, was gagging on his own apple, rolling around the ground and convulsing as he squirmed.

Within seconds, Noctowl and Shroomish fell unconscious.

Meowstic reached out to high-five Zoroark. "Hell yeah! Snow White and Poisonous Apples for the fucking win!"

Returning the high-five, Zoroark took another glance up the mountain.

"Let's get climbing. We might just win this challenge!"

* * *

"G'DAY MATE!" Absol yelled out to Espeon over the roaring wind as they continued trekking up a narrow pathway that spiralled around the mountain. "HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?"

Though her face was contorted with disgust, Espeon had no option but to reply, "STOP CRAWLING MY KOALAS!"

"DARK TYPES ARE FRIENDS, NOT FOOD!"

"GOOD ONYA!"

"COME HERE, NEMO! COME HERE MY LITTLE SQUISHY!"

Espeon growled at him as they neared the top of the mountain. "SHUT YA GOB!" As Absol approached her, she hissed viciously at him, snarling as she revealed her sharp fangs at him.

"BAD SQUISHY!" Absol shrieked in response. "BAD, BAD SQUISHY!"

 **0000**

 **Absol shuddered. "Espeon can be downright terrifying at times."**

 **0000**

"What the fuck is all that ruckus?" Shaymin snapped as she peered down from her position at the top of the mountain. As soon as she saw Absol and Espeon, she deadpanned. "Seriously? These guys are going to be the first ones up?"

Just as Espeon's paw touched the top ledge of the mountain, another paw appeared beside hers; a black paw with sharp nails protruding from it. At first, Shaymin had assumed that it belonged to Absol, but then she realised that the nails were accented with red.

The paw heaved itself up at the exact same time as Espeon, revealing Zoroark. Both Espeon and Zoroark glared at each other.

"I was here first," Zoroark stated, crossing her arms.

Espeon merely rolled her eyes. "Please. Have you always been this delusional?"

Before they could continue bickering, Absol and Meowstic had clambered to the top to meet their team-mates, all of them halting in their steps as soon as Shaymin started to hum thoughtfully.

"Well," Shaymin started, eyeing the two dark-types and two psychic-types. "It was a tie. So, I guess we'll have to have a tie-breaker. Fuck. Um…"

"First one to get to the bottom of the mountain?" Absol suggested.

Her brow arching, Espeon snickered at him. "I swear to Arceus, if that's the tie-breaker, I am going to push you off this mountain just so that you can be the first to the bottom."

Shaymin shook her head. "Nope! Better idea! You know how Disney movies always find a way to make you cry? They tell a sad story, they make you laugh so hard, they kill off amazing characters; they always find some way to bring a tear to the viewer's eye. Your tie-breaker is to bring a tear to my eye! You have two minutes to talk to your partner about how you're going to do it. Your time starts now!"

As soon as Shaymin sauntered away, Espeon sighed.

"How are we supposed to get a tear in Shaymin's eye in the first place?" Espeon asked rhetorically, glaring at Absol as soon as he opened his mouth to speak. "I know what you're going to say, Absol. But no, we can't do humour; you're not funny. But what else makes Shaymin cry?"

Absol frowned, before jokingly saying, "We could always just poke her in the eye; that will get a tear out of her."

"Wha-"

"You know," Absol quickly spoke. "Everyone tears up when their eye is poked. I think it's called reflex tears, where the amount of liquid produced by the eye is affected by an external stimulus. So by tearing up, it kind of washes away the irritation from the eye-"

Espeon's eyes widened suddenly. As soon as Absol saw the sly grin creeping up her face, Absol gulped.

"Espeon? Why are you smiling like that?"

Before the psychic-type could respond, though, Shaymin's vibrant voice spoke.

"Time is up! Let's start this tie-breaker!"

His face creased with worry, Absol called out, "No, we're not ready-"

"We are _definitely_ ready," Espeon snickered, strolling past Absol and walking towards Shaymin. Without so much a word of warning, Espeon's tail reached out and jabbed Shaymin's eye.

The host scowled furiously, darting to the side as she hissed. "Hey! What the actual _fuck_ was that for?"

"We're trying to get a tear in your eye."

Sure enough, a tear was glinting in Shaymin's left eye, slipping out of the eye socket and down onto her cheek. Gnashing her teeth together, Shaymin turned away. "Fine. Whatever. Next! Zoroark and Meowstic!"

The two Pokémon strolled towards the centre of the platform.

"We've decided to tell you a story that we managed to come up with," Zoroark started. "So once upon a time, there was a boy named Greg. Greg had a good dad."

"No," Meowstic interjected quickly. "Greg had a _great_ dad."

Zoroark nodded. "Yep. A fantastic, great Dad."

"Because his dad bought him a Gameboy and five games, Greg got into video games," Meowstic explained.

"Better yet, they played Pokémon games. And the best part was that he and his dad played all the games _together_."

Shaymin crooned slightly at the sweetness of it, gesturing enthusiastically for the pair to continue telling the story.

"When Pokémon Gold and Silver came out," Meowstic continued. "Greg's dad bought another Gameboy, and gave Greg the new Gameboy and took the old one for himself."

"Greg got to play Gold…" Zoroark began.

Meowstic finished the sentence for her. "And his dad got to play Silver."

After a dramatic pause, Zoroark continued, "They played together, and it was lots of fun. They chose different starters, traded different Pokémon back and forth and filled out the Pokédex together using father and son team-work."

Leaning back, Meowstic drawled, "Life was good for Greg."

"Aww," Shaymin squealed. "How sweet!"

"Yes, very sweet," Zoroark agreed, before her features darkened. "But then, Greg's mother divorced his father."

There were several gasps of shock around the mountain.

"Don't worry," Meowstic reassured the audience. "He still came over to see Greg all the time."

"He never had to pay child support," Zoroark remarked. "But he still did it despite having little for himself, just because he loved his son that much."

Meowstic pretended to dramatically wipe away a tear. "He would always ask Greg what games he was currently playing."

"And even if he had no idea what Greg was talking about, he'd still pretend to understand; so they still had the same amount of fun," Zoroark explained, smiling wistfully.

"Life went on like that for Greg for years and years."

"But then… Greg's father got cancer."

Yet again, the crowd - the multiple grass-types who had appeared atop the mountain - gasped with horror, several of them already sobbing.

Once again, Meowstic chimed in by saying, "Don't worry, he beat it. Which means that he and Greg continued to have fun times."

"Except," Zoroark butted in. "The cancer came back and silently killed Greg's dad."

Nodding sadly, Meowstic sighed. "So Greg went to his father's house to collect his things."

"There really wasn't much there, since his father had already just about given all his money to help Greg get through school."

"But, at the time of this story, it turns out that Pokémon Heart Gold and Soul Silver were coming out."

Zoroark clutched her chest as she delivered the final line. "And Greg's dad had the date it was coming out marked on his calendar on his desk, planner and fridge."

After exchanging a baffled glance with Absol, Espeon shrugged her shoulders. "It was touching, but surely it wasn't enough to make Shaymin cry-"

A loud, moist sob emanated from Shaymin's mouth, and before Espeon had the chance to finish her sentence, Shaymin had broken down into sorrowful tears, weeping as she stared at the ground.

"Shaymin… has emotions?" Absol whispered.

"Of course I fucking have emotions!" Shaymin snapped, bawling her eyes out. "I… Okay! Espeon and Absol win!"

Zoroark's jaw dropped. " _What_? But Meowstic and I actually made you _cry_! We made you cry much more, so we should win-"

The host immediately shook her head, wiping her eyes. "No, you shouldn't. You two failed the task. The task was to bring _a_ tear to my eye, not multiple. So, really, Absol and Espeon succeeded. Thus, The Guzzling Groudons win yet another round! Kyogres, meet you at the elimination ceremony!"

 **0000**

 **Haxorus threw a fist in the air. "Yay! We won again!"**

" **Though," she continued, raising a finger to her chin. "So I guess Stunfisk's prophecy was right! Which means that Ribombee and Jigglypuff were never in love, or that Stunfisk and Lucario will never fall in love with each other." With a shrug, she remarked, "Probably the latter."**

 **0000**

" **Lots of us screwed up today," Primarina pointed out. "For example, Musharna and Pumpkaboo basically didn't bother with the task. But, when you think of it, that's better than pushing your team-member off a cliff."**

 **0000**

 **Garchomp shook her head. "What the fuck, Pancham?"**

 **0000**

"Wow, Kyogres," Shaymin huffed as the contestants awaited the results anxiously before her. "You guys suck. You've lost _four_ times in a row. That's gotta be some sort of feat in itself."

Bellossom grumbled under her breath as she held out the flowers. "Come on, Shaymin, stop being mean-"

"Anyways!" Shaymin interrupted. "The Pokémon who are safe today with no votes at all are: Banette, Lucario, Garchomp, Primarina, Magikarp, Meowstic, Pumpkaboo, Musharna, Zoroark and… Mimikyu."

Each of them caught their Gracidea flowers before immediately shuffling to the side, where they watched the final four contestants glare at each other or whimper in their seats timidly.

"Ribombee," Shaymin began. "You only have one vote against your name, so you are safe. Same goes to you, Exeggutor."

"You mean Ex, Egg and Tor," Tor spat out. "Show some respect."

Shaymin only rolled her eyes. "Boohoo, suck it up, buttercup. Now, that leaves Pancham and Lurantis."

The panda and mantis sat at opposing ends of the campfire, both of them refraining from any interaction, staring sternly ahead of them. With a lazy but innocent grin plastered on his face, Lurantis tilted his head as Shaymin eyed Pancham suspiciously.

"Are you okay, little dude?" Shaymin asked the panda. "You're not usually this quiet."

Pancham only shrugged. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Shaymin refuted. "Because you've been eliminated, sucker! With a total of ten votes, with Lurantis only getting two, you are out of the competition, matey. Are you feeling fine, now?"

Though her jaw was dropped in dismay at Shaymin's bluntness, Bellossom released a sigh before throwing the flower towards Lurantis, who caught it gracefully and sauntered to the side.

Pancham forced a sad smile onto his face.

"I'm fine. If anything, I feel like I've just been enlightened."

 **0000**

" **Sure, I've been eliminated quite early," Pancham noted with a shrug. "But now that I think of it, I've learnt all that I hoped to learn. For example, wisdom isn't always about integrity. Sometimes, it's about knowing when to give up and when to stop being so ambitious. It sounds horrible, but it's true. Hope really does breed eternal misery."**

 **Pancham sighed softly. "I feel so drained of life, but maybe that is what wisdom is about: having thick skin and feeling numb to everything around me. And forcing other Pokémon to be who they are not is something I shall never do again, even if it means that I can never help a bad person become good again. And there is no way in hell that I'm letting anyone boss me around and manipulate me like Lurantis did."**

 **After rubbing the back of his head, he forced a bright smile onto his face. "That being said, I really hope Lucario wins. He's a really cool guy, and once he manages to calm down his hormones, he'll make a great leader one day."**

 **0000**

"I suppose this is farewell, Nanny Pancham," Lurantis commented as he leaned back against a tree, watching with beefy and delighted eyes as Pancham hobbled onto the boat. "It's such a shame that you have to go so soon."

Pancham rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Lurantis."

Somewhat disappointed by the cold and impassive tone of Pancham's voice, Lurantis narrowed his eyes. "You've lost your passion, Pancham. What happened to you?"

"It's like you said: I'm growing up."

"Sure," Lurantis snickered. "But what happened to your ever-so-strong moral compass? You could have helped out every good Pokémon on our team by telling them about me; you could have revealed my true nature, or at least hinted it. But you didn't. You remained quiet."

The small panda huffed. "You're welcome for that."

"I'm not thanking you," Lurantis responded, arching his brow. "I just want to know _why_. Why wouldn't you have told everyone? I thought you would have liked to see me get out as quick as possible."

"I do," Pancham snarled. "You bet I do. And if this had happened a few weeks ago, I would have happily blabbered to everyone about you and your sinful ways. Trust me, I would have. But now… Now I'm smarter. I'm not blinded by my idealism anymore, okay? I'm not stupid, either. I know that as soon as I utter any words against you, you'd defend yourself and spin together some lie that would make me look like a complete dickhead."

Lurantis thought on it carefully, before grinning. "You still could have done it today. Even if everyone thought you were a - as you phrased it - dickhead, you could have told them. Their opinions on you wouldn't matter; you've already been eliminated. There's nothing worse that can be done."

"Oh, yes," Pancham replied, shaking his head. "Yes, it does matter. Their thoughts of me matter very, very much."

"And why is that?"

Pancham turned his back on the mantis, turning out to face the ocean as he finally spoke.

"You've already destroyed my integrity. I won't let you do the same to my dignity."

 **Authors' Notes!**

 **Tomato Soup: First up, I forgot to thank SirNiceGuy for submitting our adorable 'lil Jigglypuff, so thank you kind sir! Also, a huge thank you to C.L Critical Lee for submitting our sweet, amazing Pancham - and I'm so sorry that he had to lose his passion and feistiness. But hey, he's become somewhat wiser - which was his purpose. Sure, he's lost the fire the drove him, but… welcome to the adult world. XD**

 **Milk Carton: oH MY GOD 200 REVIEWS WHAT IS LIFE. Seriously though, thank you guys so much! We put a lot of effort into these meme dumps, so please review! Also, plz no hate on neanderthal thank you we like to keep our reviews free of hate.**

 **Please review! Reviews give us life! Reviews are love! Reviews are life! And please appreciate all the memes in here. All of 'em.**

 **30th Place: Pancham (The Adolescent Delinquent) - A sweet little fellow, but Lurantis strikes yet again! Pancham is just the warning to the world that integrity will have to be sacrificed in our lives, and that some people will not change so there is no point in trying. Sometimes, the true meaning of wisdom is to know your limitations.**

 **But still. Don't let this chapter be a wet blanket. DON'T STOP! BELIEVING!**


	12. Chapter 12: The Fortress of Glass

**Chapter IX: The Fortress of Glass**

"Valorous morning, mine own fellow cater-cousins!" Shaymin exclaimed, watching atop the cafeteria table as her cast rubbed the tired grime from their eyes. "I desire thou art eft for our most wondrous dare yet!"

Apart from Pumpkaboo, who was nodding her head eagerly, the rest of the cast exchanged bewildered glances towards one another.

"What is she saying?" Skitty whispered over to Stunfisk, who merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Some made up bullshit, probably," Stunfisk snarled.

Pumpkaboo glowered at the model. "Excusez-moi?" she cried out boldly. "I'll have you know that Shaymin is talking in my father Shakespeare's language! Stand ho insulting father Shakespeare otherwise I shall gauge thy eyes out!"

"Did you just call me a hoe?" Stunfisk spat, but Shaymin spoke before the pumpkin could muster a response.

"Thank you, Pumpkaboo," Shaymin huffed, before turning to face the rest of her cast. "Now, today's challenge is very much inspired by the olden times, where there were countless battles for territories. So, we're going to play a game of chess!"

Espeon and Lurantis glanced at each other, eyebrows arched, before turning back to eye the host curiously.

"Chess?" Lurantis asked, grinning.

The host nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yep! But not the board game version; instead, I have built two castles for both teams. Each team will allocate themselves a King, who they will hide carefully inside their castle. Some of your team members will be defending your king, but the other team will be going out to hunt down the other team's king so that they can hold the king at checkmate. Whichever team manages to get the opposing team's king, press a sword to their neck and say 'Checkmate' wins!"

Without another word, Shaymin began leading them out to the cafeteria, beckoning at them to see the castles she had made for them overnight.

"How shabby do you think the castle will be out of ten?" Froslass asked, her brows raised in bemusement.

Shroomish thoughtfully paced towards the cafeteria door. "I'd say a solid eleven."

"Me too-" Froslass cut herself off as she exited the room, her jaw dropping instantly as her eyes grazed her surroundings.

Two identical castles stood on either end of the island, symmetrical in design. Each castle comprised of eight strong, square towers pierced the sky, all linked with small bridges and connected by fortified, thin walls. The only difference between the castles were the flags perched on top; the Kyogres castle had a blue flag, whilst the flapping flag of the Groudons was red. The entire cast gasped in amazement at the complexity of the castle, the light bouncing off the walls and forcing the buildings to radiate the fierce glow of the sun.

That, and the castles were made completely of ice.

"Do you like it?" Shaymin asked, winking. "It's made completely out of ice, like Elsa's castle in Frozen, and it's damned strong ice, too. But by next week, if you guys haven't destroyed it, it should start melting."

"Can't we keep them?" Haxorus whined, still gaping at the wondrous buildings. "They look so good! How did you manage to have them built?"

As soon as she uttered those words, Bellossom stumbled into view, staggering towards them as if she were drunk. Bags were shadowing her eyes, and she carried an ice cube tray in one hand and a hammer in the other.

"I finished the castles…" Bellossom groaned, before collapsing onto the ground.

Primarina's eyes widened. "You made Bellossom sculpt those massive castles in one night?"

Waving away her concern, Shaymin stood on top of Bellossom, using her assistant as a podium. "Now, you have five minutes to go to your castles and plan out your tactics. Also, in your castles, there is a box with a special sort of item that should aid you in your mission to capture the other team's king. Since the Guzzling Groudons have won four years in a row, their item is slightly better." Seeing Pumpkaboo pout, Shaymin rolled her eyes. "Don't be so upset, Pumpkaboo. You can be the King of the Kyogres."

"Queen," Pumpkaboo quickly retorted.

The host only dismissed her with a flick of a paw. "King, queen, dictator, tyrant; whatever works for you. Now, the King on the Groudons will be… Shroomish!" Shaymin smiled proudly. "Yes. Perfect. The Mushrooms against the Pumpkins."

"Anything else?" Incineroar demanded impatiently. "We have to capture the King of the other team, and that's it, right?"

"Pretty much," Shaymin bluntly responded. "Also, if no one manages to catch a King by the end of the day, the team with the most prisoners will win. Anyways, showeth bravery, intelligence, honour and integrity in this hurlyburly for thy kingdom! Thy timeth begins… anon!"

 **0000**

 **Pumpkaboo's eyes shimmered with admiration. "When did Shaymin ever learn Shakespearean?"**

 **0000**

" **Online translator," Shaymin shrugged, holding up a laptop. "Literally, just type in 'English to Shakespeare Translator', and you'll get some decent results."**

 **0000**

"Alright, team," Incineroar began, stalking around the room as the rest of the Groudons watched him. "The plan is simple. Vespiquen and Noctowl will hide and protect Shroomish. The rest of you have to be on your guard and keep your fat mouths shut. Even if you get kidnapped and tortured for information, just keep your fat mouths shut."

Salazzle rolled her eyes. "Anything else, captain?"

"Yes," Incineroar continued, turning to glare specifically at Lycanroc. "Lycanroc, today is the only day I will say this: unleash your psychotic territorial bullshit, okay?"

The wolf nodded, seemingly mystified by his surroundings. Finally, the Groudons turned to their King, Shroomish.

"Er…" Shroomish began, glancing around awkwardly. "Any other little speeches before we open up our box to see what item Shaymin has given us?"

"Yes!" Haxorus called out, raising her hand. "Last night, Skitty and I decided to make the team some rings made of rocks we found. We made them just for our team, as a sort of bonding thing!"

Skitty nodded enthusiastically, gently nudging a small bag towards the centre. "We even sized them all so that they'll fit everyone."

"O...kay?" Shroomish responded, before hobbling over to the box behind him. "Let's just see what Shaymin has given us here."

They opened the box to discover a plethora of small, metallic gadgets, blinking red as Shroomish plucked one out.

"Oh!" Gastly gasped. "I know what they are! They're communication devices! You press the red button, and you can contact the rest of your team."

The Groudons nodded their heads as the information sank in, each of them pulling out a device and attaching it to their bodies. "It's a good item to have," Vespiquen remarked. "But it'll only be effective if the other team doesn't know about it. Once they know that we can communicate with each other using these devices, they can easily just remove the device from each member that they catch. Then they can eavesdrop into all our conversations."

"Good point," Krokorok noted. "We'll just have to make sure that they don't know we have those communication devices."

"They're not stupid, though," Espeon shrugged. "They have intelligent members on their team and they know we have some sort of item with us. So they would do a thorough investigation to work it out."

The group faded into silence, exchanging grimaces or shrugs of despair.

Shroomish, however, was grinning.

"Guys!" He called out. "I have an idea."

"What is it?" Golisopod asked hastily.

The King, pulling out a crown from the box and placing it tentatively on his head, smiled at his team. "We will have a diversion item. Instead of making them realise that we have communication devices, we will make them think that we have another item on our hands."

"Great!" Noctowl chirped. "How do we plan on doing that? What item could we use as a diversion?"

His face lighting up, Shroomish's eyes lingered on the package of rings that Haxorus and Skitty had made. He gestured towards the bag.

"Those rings, of course."

 **0000**

" **Our team devised a scheme that is absol-utely brilliant," Absol boasted, grinning at the cheesiness of his pun. "The Kyogres don't stand a chance!"**

 **0000**

"So, my dear peasants," Pumpkaboo bellowed, clearing her throat. "I am Pumpkaboo, Queen of the Killer Kyogres. Before we open the box to see what item the humble host Shaymin has given thee, I would like to present a speech."

Several of her teammates cheered enthusiastically, encouraging her to continue. "Make it inspirational!" Banette whispered, giving the pumpkin a thumbs up.

Nodding her head at the ghost-type, Pumpkaboo cleared her throat once again before continuing, "If you loot, if you riot or if you cause one lick of trouble," the queen began to declare. "I will find you, and burn you to ash."

"Well…" Lucario managed to say. "It's certainly some sort of inspirational."

"I'm not done yet!" Pumpkaboo snapped. "Anyways, if your revolt against me as your queen and if you fail to kidnap the other team's king, this entire castle will turn into molten glass and flood the forests, your homes and your throats. Understand?"

Nodding timidly, the Kyogres didn't dare to utter a word.

"Fabulous!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed, before hopping over to the box behind her and throwing the lid open. "Let's see- oh."

The rest of her team peered over her shoulder to look into the box, where there was only a box of foul, rotting berries, a stench wafting out of the box and making several of them gag with disgust.

"That's nasty," Zoroark huffed, waving away the smell from her snout. "What a Shaymin thing to do; screw over the team that's already lacking in numbers."

"Actually…" Musharna piped up, her voice a gentle whisper. "I think it can be quite useful…"

Garchomp rolled her eyes dismissively, but Pumpkaboo halted the dragon-type from any snarky replies, instead beckoning for Musharna to continue.

Seeing the intrigue plastered over Pumpkaboo's face, Musharna continued dreamily. "Perhaps… The smell of the berries would be good for tracking members on the other team… For if we can get them all to smell like rotten berries, we will easily know when they are nearby so they… cannot plan any sneak attacks…"

After a moment of silence, Pumpkaboo began to applaud.

"That's brilliant, Musharna!" she praised. "Now, all we need to do is get them to smell like these berries. Should we just throw them at them?"

"I don't think so," Meowstic replied, his lips puckered into a frown. "It'll attract too much attention."

Suddenly, Mimikyu raised her hand tentatively into the air. "How about we get Musharna to eat the berries?" she suggested. "Because then maybe the gas that always goes around Musharna will also begin to s-smell, and she can roam around the Groudons until they all smell?"

"So, basically, you want Musharna to fart rotten berries on the Groudons," Meowstic simplified, a grin broadening on his face.

Before anyone could protest, Pumpkaboo was already beaming. "Perfect! Sire Ribombee will accompany my dear Musharna to ensure her safety. We're going to win, comrades!"

 **0000**

" **You know," Pumpkaboo stated, sighing wistfully. "We never managed to come up with a name for our kingdom! How about… Pumpkabooria? Pumpkaboorius?"**

 **Suddenly, she gasped.**

" **I have it! The perfect name is none other than… Pumpkabooland!"**

 **0000**

"It was very brave of you to assist me…" Musharna softly muttered to Ribombee. "It won't be easy to spray them with gas unnoticed…"

Tentatively, Ribombee nodded in agreement. The pair were flying - floating for Musharna - towards the glass castle belonging to the Groudons, both of them with balmy and nervous hands. "Yeah, you're r-right."

They finally reached the top of the castle, peering through the glass to gawk at the Groudons. The other team was calmly beginning to scatter away from the castle. With a brief glance, Musharna crept into one of the glass ducts as Ribombee held open the door for her. After an awkward squeal echoed from the duct, Ribombee couldn't help but smile a little as he heard Buneary bellow from the inside.

"Alright, who the fuck farted in here?" the bunny called out, a paw propped onto her hip. "Whoever did it, what did you even eat for breakfast? Rotten berries? That smell is bloody _awful_."

As Musharna crawled out of the duct and back into the sky, her cheeks flushing with slight embarrassment, she grinned as she heard the rest of the Groudons deny releasing the gas.

"It worked…" she whispered. "And they all think someone else in there farted…"

Ribombee gave a thumbs up. "Yay?"

Without another word, they both began to scamper off back to their own castle. After gliding through the air for a few seconds, though, they were halted by a growl.

"Hey! What are you two doing up there?"

They both glanced down to find Krokorok glaring at them, his arms folded across his chest.

"Just heading back to our own base," Ribombee quickly explained, his eyes widened with terror as he began to back away. "Right, Musharna?" To the bee's dismay, the psychic-type remained in her spot, watching the crocodile with suspicion.

"Right, Musharna?" Ribombee repeated desperately, gesturing for her to run.

The psychic-type merely shook her head. "There's something in his hands… A bag…."

"So?"

"We should kidnap him and take him back to our base…"

Without another word, the smoke around her began to emit itself broadly into the air, thickening until it became a dark smokescreen. The mystical gas began to shroud around both Ribombee and Krokorok, before it all completely began to submerge the air around Krokorok, engulfing the crocodile beneath the hazy fog.

"Shit," Krokorok muttered, clawing at his eyes as he attempted to gaze around him. Waving his arms around hastily, he tried to clear up some of the fog, but it was too late. He could feel drowsiness dwindle his eyes shut, his eyelids heavy with exhaustion as he suddenly collapsed onto the ground.

"Wow, Musharna," Ribombee managed to murmur as he quickly flew down to lift Krokorok onto his back. Struggling with the weight, he smiled thankfully when Musharna came down to help him. "That was… Cool."

Musharna cocked her head to the side. "I didn't know you were from Turkey?"

Completely mystified, Ribombee stared at her, trying to understand why she possibly would have said that. After a long moment of pondering on it, Ribombee finally groaned.

"I said _cool_ , not _Istanbul_!"

 **0000**

" **Krokorok didn't put up much of a fight…" Musharna admitted, frowning. "It makes me wonder… Perhaps he wanted to be caught?"**

 **0000**

After Musharna and Ribombee had brought Krokorok into their castle, the crocodile had immediately been dragged down into the basement, to be questioned by both Magikarp and Exeggutor.

Magikarp listened to Tor interrogate Krokorok, demanding to know everything; where they were hiding King Shroomish, what their special item was and what their plan for success was. After an hour of the Egg Brothers utilising the move Egg Bomb, Krokorok was talking about anything and everything.

"We were given an item that can control all our actions, and make one person control all our thoughts and actions!" Krokorok confessed, panting as Exeggutor threatened to unleash another Egg Bomb on his snout.

" _How_ would an item control you?" Ex asked persistently, prodding and pushing the Krokorok with a pleasant smile.

Krokorok sighed. "I can't tell you."

Suddenly, Tor whipped out one of the many glass swords that were scattered all throughout the castle. Tor half turned to Magikarp, holding up the glass sword. "Would you like to do the benefit of slicing him, Lord Magikarp?"

Magikarp frowned. "I don't want to get blood on my scales."

Smirking, Tor slashed the sword down dangerously close to Krokorok's chest. The crocodile screeched with terror, sighing with relief as he realised that the sword hadn't touched him. "The ring," Krokorok finally panted. "All of the Groudons were supposed to wear rings."

After seeing Exeggutor pause his hysterical slashing and Magikarp cock his head, Krokorok continued "The bag I am carrying."

Tor yanked away Krokorok's bag, revealing a sack of red rings.

"H-how?" Egg asked curiously.

"Shroomish was supposed to have a ring, too," Krokorok explained. "He was supposed to use it to control us all. The ring goes on. We do what he says, whatever he says."

Egg frowned yet again. "But how would Shroomish stay in control?"

"I don't know," Krokorok shrugged. The glass sword came closer to him, thanks to Tor. "Okay! We wear the rings, and whoever wants to be in control has to cut his skin a bit and put blood on the ring. It's the blood that links us all. Whoever most recently put blood on the ring can control everyone who wears the ring." He gestured to the bag on the floor, the one that clinked every time it moved.

"That sounds awfully morbid for Shroomish," Ex remarked.

Tor waved away his brother's concern. "And how exactly do you plan on invading our castle, Krokorok?"

"We're just searching for your Queen Pumpkaboo. I swear, I didn't come here to cause any trouble; I was just running away from my own castle! My tail had gone crazy again, so it stole the red rings away from everyone, and so I ran before they tried to hurt me!" Krokorok insisted, his eyes meeting Magikarp's eyes - dark and pleading.

"Throw him in the basement," Magikarp ordered. "He's a liability. But take the bag of rings; and give it to Lucario, and explain to him how it works."

Swift as an adder, Tor lunged for the crocodile, laughing as he ripped away the ring from Krokorok's fingers. With a heavy kick, Krokorok was sent hurtling towards the basement, tumbling down the stairs as he moaned in agony.

After glancing proudly at the bag of rings in his hand, Exeggutor slammed the door shut on Krokorok, locking the ground-type in the basement before trotting away, with Magikarp flopping behind him. As soon as Krokorok heard their footsteps fade into the distance, he propped himself up, finding the metallic device on his right hand and whispering furiously.

"I told them everything about the ring," he muttered. "They now have the ring. I have completed my task."

* * *

Lucario stood in front of the main door of the castle, fidgeting uncomfortably with the ring on his finger. Exeggutor and Magikarp had just given him that ring, and he had no idea how he was going to use it to his advantage. He had already stained the ring with his own blood, upon instruction, yet he couldn't help but feel utterly mystified and tentative about using it, albeit the bag of them that was sitting beside him.

"Lucario," a voice purred from above.

Glancing up, the fighting-type was shocked to find Espeon staring back at him. How had he not heard her pad her way down the glass bridge?

"What's up, Espeon?" Lucario asked politely, though his mind was buzzing with warnings. _She's on the enemy team. She is a girl, but she is on the enemy team. She is a pretty damned hot girl, but she is still on the enemy team._

Espeon's eyes darted around the room, before she stepped forwards. "I came here to make a deal with you. If you tell me where your team is hiding Pumpkaboo, I'll tell you where my team is hiding Shroomish."

"Hell, no," Lucario retorted. "That's stupid."

"Is it, though?" Espeon questioned. "It'll simply save time. It'll be less about finding the kings, and more about the actual battle to steal the king. A lot more honourable, don't you think?"

The aura Pokémon bit his lip, somewhat unsure.

Seeing his hesitance, Espeon smiled innocently. "If you agree, I can also teach you the move Attract."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lucario said, shaking his head. "We all know that Lucarios can't learn-" he suddenly stopped himself from completing his sentence. His mind began to scramble with thoughts and plans, until he finally threaded through his frenzied mind and formulated a plan.

This was perfect. He could not waste this opportunity. Trust. He needed Espeon's trust.

"Fine," Lucario agreed. "Tell me where Shroomish is."

Espeon shook her head. "Not just yet. Anyone from my team could be watching right now, and hear that I am betraying them. Meet me in between our two castles in just about an hour." She shot a glare towards him. "And if you dare bring in any Pokémon with you, I can easily tell your team how you betrayed them instead."

"Any other requests, Duchess Espeon?" Lucario asked, willing calm to his veins and heart as he grinned at her.

"You've agreed to help me far too easily," Espeon snickered, suspiciously eyeing her opponent. "But I like this game. Let's keep playing it."

Lucario's answering smile was serpentine.

"If you betray me, Lucario," Espeon added as she stepped away. "I'll make Victreebel's swallowing seem like a mercy compared to what I do to you."

"Sure thing," Lucario replied, his eyebrows arched flirtatiously as he moved towards her, taking her paw in his own paw, his thumb caressing the palm of her paw. He raised the paw to his mouth, as if he were going to kiss it, forcing Espeon to bite back her disgust.

Then, faster than Espeon could react, Lucario slid a red ring onto her arm.

 **0000**

" **It was genius, really," Magikarp remarked. "We put Lucario's blood onto his ring, so he would control everyone who wore the rings. Then, instead of putting the rest of the rings on our own members, we put them onto the members of the Groudons; that way, Lucario can control them and manipulate them into giving us Shroomish."**

 **0000**

Espeon blinked at the ring, at the blood that was splattered over the ring. A sudden silence echoed around her head, and her face stopped working, turning into a blank slate.

"Blink," Lucario ordered her, eyeing the ring in both his hand and her hand.

She blinked.

"Smile."

She smiled.

"Tell me why you came here."

"To convince Lucario to tell me where his team is hiding Pumpkaboo."

Lucario leaned in closer, grinning playfully. "Tell me that you no longer hate dark-types."

"I no longer hate dark-types."

"Tell me that you _love_ dark-types," Lucario stated. It was the real test, he knew. He watched her face carefully, waiting for any for bitterness or hesitation to wash over her face. If she was not brainwashed or under his control, she would have spat at him by now.

"I _love_ dark-types."

Lucario allowed himself to take in a relieved breath. She was definitely under his control. The ring worked.

"Take this bag of rings," Lucario told her. "Go back to your castle and make everyone wear these rings. Tell them that you got them back from Krokorok, who had stolen them. Do not tell anyone about talking to me. And, after all the rings are on, come back here, with Shroomish in tow."

The psychic-type just stared, waiting.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes."

Lifting his hand in a wave, Lucario shooed her out, his hand grazing his ring in amazement.

* * *

Absol was trembling with restrained frustration as he accompanied Espeon back to their castle, neither of them speaking.

He had heard every word that Lucario and Espeon hat uttered to each other. He had seen Lucario leap forwards and slide the ring onto his teammate, but he didn't dare grab for Espeon's hand to see the ring.

She didn't look at him; nor did she speak. She just stared as she walked forwards. A perfect, broken, obedient doll.

 _I love dark-types_.

Normally, Absol would have been thrilled to hear that. But, seeing her be completely mesmerised and under control of someone else, it had filled him with agony. He was so close to leaping out and running away, but he knew he couldn't.

Just as they reached their own castle, the red flag flapping intensely in the wind, Espeon halted and stared at Absol. A slave awaiting orders.

"Espeon?" Absol asked, his voice hoarse.

The psychic-type lifted her paw in front of her, before pulling the ring off her arm.

"So _that_ was what Lucario was planning in his head," she snickered. "I honestly expected something grander."

"You're okay!" Absol cried out, almost lunging forward to embrace her. After watching her glare at him, he quickly forced himself to step back. "I thought, for a moment, that the ring might have actually worked."

Espeon rolled her eyes. "These are Haxorus and Skitty's rings; of course it wouldn't do anything. But now the Kyogres are convinced that these rings are mind-control rings, and now they think they can use it to manipulate us as long as we are wearing the rings. We have them fooled."

"You had me fooled back there for a second, too," Absol sheepishly added.

"It takes a fool to be fooled."

Absol grinned. "Wow; that sounds cool. It's like… inception, but with fools. Foolception, perhaps?"

 **0000**

" **Idiots," Espeon groaned as she slammed her head against the desk. "Idiots everywhere."**

 **0000**

Her mouth dry, Mimikyu barely managed to keep herself standing as her knees wobbled in fear. She had been ordered to spy on the Groudons, to see if she could gather any information from them. So far, she had just managed to slink into their house, her shortness and lightness helping her sneak about with subtlety.

She crept towards the end of a hallway, where the pathways splintered into a T-section, waiting for the clatter of feet and shouts of Pokémon that bounced off the glass walls to shrink into silence.

Then, she continued running, slipping past the kitchen before anyone could notice her, and hurrying up the stairs as fast as she could with her heart pounding beneath her chest. She wished she had stayed back in her own castle, or found some sort of hiding spot.

Except, just before, she heard Noctowl and Froslass murmuring to each other about Shroomish's location. He was upstairs, by himself, in the king's chamber. So, after swallowing down her fear, she began racing up the stairs.

Up and up, towards the top of the tower. She threw open the door to the largest room, where she had expected Shroomish to be sitting on the bed, sleeping peacefully. Indeed, there was a Pokémon sitting atop the bed.

But it wasn't Shroomish.

Golisopod sat on the very edge of the bed, as if he owned the place. Snorting at the newcomer, he glanced at his fists.

"Going somewhere, Mimikyu?"

 **0000**

 **Mimikyu's eyes were wide open as she stared at the camera.**

" **I'm screwed."**

 **0000**

" **She is so screwed," Golisopod laughed, grinning maliciously.**

 **0000**

"Where are you going?" Golisopod repeated smugly as he stood up.

Panic bleated Mimikyu's veins. She had to get out-

"Was that your plan? Hide amongst us and gather enough information, so you can go running and report to your Queen?"

Mimikyu backed towards the door, forcing Golisopod to click his tongue.

"We both know there is no point of running. I'm faster than you."

Her knees wobbling beneath her, Mimikyu glanced up at the ceiling. _Oh, Arceus_. After a moment of silent prayer, she breathed, "I am not scared of you." It was a lie, of course; and a badly told one, too. Though her entire body trembled, she forced herself to look ahead. She would not bow down to him, would not cower.

Golisopod circled her. "Oh, really?"

' _Fight, fight, fight,'_ Mimikyu sang internally to herself. ' _Do not let him cage you. You will go down fighting. You do not yield. Do not yield.'_

The arthropod suddenly lunged, one hand gripping Mimikyu under her arm while the other slammed her head into the wall. Not hard enough to knock her unconscious or give her serious harm, but just enough to momentarily stun her. "You're coming with me."

Golisopod yanked her back, opening the door as Mimikyu struggled in his grasp. No- no, she wouldn't let him take her, she wouldn't-

She tried to scream, but held herself back. Screaming would do her no good. Not in a castle full of Groudons. She forced herself to remain still, and Golisopod took that as acquiescence. She could feel his smile at the back of her head as he nudged her into the stairwell.

"I can't believe you thought that what Froslass and Noctowl said was true," Golisopod murmured as he hauled her down the stairs, bile burning Mimikyu's throat. His voice was hollow and large in the stone stairwell.

He stopped in front of a large, glass door, before pulling it open and throwing the small Pokémon inside.

"Welcome to your new home, Mimikyu."

* * *

Golisopod left her in a freezing dungeon cell. No light or sound, save for the dripping of water.

Shaking, Mimikyu didn't even have the words to beg as she was tossed inside.

"You brought this upon yourself, you know," Golisopod pointed out. "You came here on your own." He studied her as she gobbled down the details of the cell, searching for anything that could help her get out. "I'll leave you here. I doubt your team will notice your absence, anyways."

With that, he slammed the door shut, and darkness swallowed Mimikyu entirely.

 **0000**

" **He's right about that," Mimikyu huffed. "No one in my team will even notice I'm missing. And even if they do, I doubt they would actually do anything about it."**

 **0000**

"Our lief cousin, Mimikyu, has been taken!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed, causing the other two Pokémon in the room, Banette and Primarina, to stare at her.

"How do you know?" Banette asked, raising a brow.

Straightening the crown on her head, Pumpkaboo frowned. "The lady hast been gone for too longeth. We must do something! We must save her!"

Primarina gave her a sceptical look. "But Queen Pumpkaboo; wouldn't it be wiser if we remained and defended our other comrades? If neither team captures the king, the winning team will be whichever team captures the most prisoners. If we go out and try rescuing her, we may risk losing even more of our members."

"But, thee seeth, Primarina, every member in our team should be treasured," Pumpkaboo refuted. "Yond enwheels Mimikyu. Therefore, we wilt saveth Mimikyu!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Banette quickly added. "What do you mean by _we_? Primarina and I will go, but you have to-"

Shaking her head furiously, Pumpkaboo squinted her nose. "Tush tush!" She burst, silencing Banette. "I shalt accompany thee!"

"But you're _queen_ ," Primarina protested. "You must stay inside the castle and remain safe."

Pumpkaboo smiled curtly.

"I giveth not a fuck."

* * *

Banette's eye twitched as she huddled behind a bush, Pumpkaboo and Primarina beside her. Due to the glass walls of the building, it had been easy to locate which room Mimikyu was in, and it had been equally easy to find the door for it.

The only problem was that Incineroar was sitting directly in front of the room.

"I shalt distract that gent," Pumpkaboo suggested rather adamantly, sizing up her opponent. "And three grabbeth Mimikyu and runneth. Doth thee understand?"

"I'm trying to," Banette managed to mutter. Before she could try to convince Pumpkaboo that using herself as a diversion was a terrible idea, the pumpkin had already scampered off.

Barely managing to dash that quickly on her little feet, Pumpkaboo twirled around as soon as she approached Incineroar. Straining her ears, Banette tried to hear what Pumpkaboo and Incineroar were saying to each other.

"Ho there, Incineroar! Aye thee, thee bastard!" Pumpkaboo was screaming. "Doth thee wanteth a piece of me?"

Incineroar sounded somewhat unfazed as he replied, "Sure thing, Pumpkin Pie."

Though she heard Pumpkaboo scream several more profanities, Banette could no longer see neither Pumpkaboo nor Incineroar. The pumpkin kept bounding tantalizingly close to Incineroar, but always leapt out of his reach just as he would try to grasp onto her.

"We should be quick," Primarina offered. "So we can make sure that Incineroar doesn't actually catch Pumpkaboo."

Primarina had spent the entire journey to the castle focusing on the room Mimikyu was trapped in. She studied the bars of the little window, knew the hinges and locks.

She breathed softly as she climbed the steps to the backdoor of the cell, pulled out a few sharp pins she could use for picking the lock, and set to work. One little needle here, a quick twist- there.

The lock sprang open, and Primarina eased the door open, bracing herself for squeaky hinges. By Arceus's mercy, or perhaps because it was made of ice, the door made no sound at all as Primarina pushed it open.

Mimikyu was curled in the far corner, dirty and bruised, but conscious.

Biting back her cry of relief, Primarina flicked her head to the side, gesturing for the Pokémon to hurry.

On near-silent feet, Mimikyu got up and hurtled past her, right into the cloak that Banette was holding out for her. A heartbeat later, they were out of the room and running towards the bushes, slipping back into the forest as Pumpkaboo and Incineroar continued to shriek at each other.

Mimikyu was shivering where she knelt in the bush, Primarina in front of her, inspecting her wounds. The water-type mouthed to Banette that Mimikyu was fine before helping Mimikyu rise to her feet, hauling her back towards their own territory.

A few moments later, Pumpkaboo appeared behind Banette, dirty and panting, but otherwise unharmed.

"How did you run away from Incineroar?" Banette asked, her jaw dropped with surprise.

"I threw an actual pumpkin at him," Pumpkaboo shrugged, before shuddering. "He ripped the entire thing apart when he realised that it wasn't me."

They both heard a resonant scream come from Incineroar, who was still rampaging around the castle, his legs marching furiously. "Pumpkaboo! Where the _fuck_ are you?"

Banette quickly grabbed onto Pumpkaboo and began running the same way Primarina and Mimikyu had run.

"We better be quick," Banette huffed as she threaded through the woods and towards the bridge. "Otherwise he'll rip you into shreds as well."

Pumpkaboo took a quick glance behind her, but did not stop running. She watched as Incineroar found yet another pumpkin lying on the ground and began to tear it to bits. Shivering, she turned back to Banette and scrambled forwards even faster.

 **0000**

 **Incineroar gripped a pumpkin in his hand, before shoving it against the wall, watching the orange liquid splatter all over the wood. "Petty, putrid, pathetic, Pumpkin Princess."**

 **0000**

" **Butchering bastard," Pumpkaboo spat out, shuddering as she eyed the orange grime that was against the wall, examining the remains carefully.**

 **0000**

"We didst it!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed as they arrived back in their castle. "We did succeed!"

Though exhausted from all the running, Banette rolled her eyes and watched Pumpkaboo before playfully saying, "You look like shit." She then remembered the Mimikyu was in the room, who was staring at her wide-eyed, and winced. "Sorry."

Mimikyu folded the cloak in her hands daintily. "I thought you said that you didn't swear that much before."

"I can swear," Banette protested as Pumpkaboo and Primarina suppressed their smiles. "But I'll only use it when it makes sense and when it can be used effectively. And right now, our queen looks like absolute shit."

Pumpkaboo raised her brows. "You look even worse in the morning, Banette," she smirked jokingly.

Primarina had to choke out a laugh. "Careful, Banette. It seems that our queen is a hellion."

"I know she is," Banette stated, grinning. "I just wish she would raise hell for someone else."

"I shall doth jump yond!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed. "To bray out our achievement, alloweth us to holdeth a party!"

The smile vanished from Primarina's face. "A party? In the middle of a challenge?" She shook her head. "That's crazy."

"We're in a good position, though," Pumpkaboo argued. "The Groudons almost all have rings on them, which means that Lucario can control their minds. We have captured Krokorok, and since we rescued Mimikyu, they no longer hold any prisoners of ours. We're bound to win now. Come on, someone get some drinks!"

Banette and Primarina exchanged sceptical glanced before Primarina shrugged.

"If you say so."

* * *

Her eyes hard, Garchomp stayed atop the balcony, keeping watch on their castle from above. Not only did she have to watch the castle, but she also carried a sack with Krokorok in it. After realising that the walls of the castle were made entirely of glass, it had been unanimously decided that it would be safer to keep their prisoners in sacks to be defended by Garchomp.

"You're on veranda duty?" a voice asked her from behind.

Garchomp whipped around to find Salazzle staring back at her, her arms crossed over her chest. After a quick examination, Garchomp noted with dismay that Salazzle wasn't wearing any rings. There would be no way to ask Lucario to manipulate the reptile.

"What are you doing here, Salazzle?" Garchomp asked, his voice bitter with venom. "You have seconds to answer, before I throw you off this roof. I know you're after Pumpkaboo."

"Careful, Garchomp," Salazzle warned. "Otherwise you'll sound like you actually care for someone apart from yourself."

The dragon-type snorted. "Whatever. Just tell me why you're here."

"I want to make a deal," Salazzle explained, her eyes alight with mischief.

Garchomp snickered again, biting back a chuckle. "A deal? What deal? All I could possibly owe you Mudsdale shit."

"Give me Krokorok," Salazzle responded. "I know he is in the sack behind you." The reptile then raised her own bag forwards, waving it around. "And, in return, I'll give you Mimikyu."

"Mimikyu?" Garchomp asked. "I thought Pumpkaboo had gone out to go and rescue her already. She's just downstairs now."

Salazzle waved the bag around the air. "She obviously hasn't succeeded. She must have come back to resupply herself and plan. Maybe it'll be easier for you to just take Mimikyu and save your queen from possible endangerment."

Watching the bag sceptically, Garchomp narrowed her eyes and turned to the sack behind her, the one that contained Krokorok. Was it really smart to exchange Mimikyu for Krokorok?

No, it wasn't. But Salazzle was right; if Queen Pumpkaboo didn't get Mimikyu back, she would keep going back and forth until she had saved her own comrade. Though Garchomp hardly cared for the queen, she knew that if they wanted to win this challenge, it would be vital to keep Pumpkaboo safe from harm.

"Fine," Garchomp answered.

They both moved at once, chucking the sacks into the space between them. Salazzle caught and swiftly pulled the sack with Krokorok back with her, and Garchomp caught the other sack, her eyes shadowed. Salazzle avoided the urge to hold her breath, choosing to remain silent instead and run off, darting away from the veranda and onto the ground before running towards her own castle.

As Salazzle approached the bridge separating the Kyogres castle from the Groudons', she opened up the sack and emptied it. Sliding out of the parcel came Krokorok, who squinted as soon as he was exposed to the harsh sunlight.

"Well?" Krokorok finally said, the word barely audible above the rustling of the bag as he climbed out of it. He glanced curiously at Salazzle, watching as a laugh caught in her throat.

"How mad is Garchomp going to be," Salazzle murmured as they continued pacing towards their own castle, "when she eventually opens up the sack, finds nothing inside, and realises that we gave her an empty parcel?"

 **0000**

" **I will fucking** _ **kill**_ **her," Garchomp hissed, scowling at the empty bag in her hands. "I will also kill Pumpkaboo, for not even bloody telling me that Mimikyu was already safe in our own castle!"**

 **0000**

"Lucario, look!" Ex called out, before he and his brothers hauled three other Pokémon into the room: Skitty, Haxorus and Stunfisk. "They're all wearing rings!"

The three Pokémon from the Groudons stood still, faces blank as they stared ahead. Lucario glanced at them curiously, before focusing particularly on Stunfisk. "Stunfisk, tell me that men are not bastards."

"Men are not bastards."

Lucario smiled at the ring in his hand. "It really does work." He turned back to the three girls. "You three ladies are on the enemy team, so I kinda have to lock you in a cellar and keep you as prisoners. So… could you guys please do that yourselves?"

"Yes, Lucario," all three girls replied, before robotically walking towards the cellar and slamming the door shut on themselves.

Nodding gratefully at the Egg Brothers, Lucario said, "Thanks, you guys," before padding down the hallway in search for the queen he was serving.

Inside the cellar, Skitty and Haxorus were struggling to restrain themselves from giggling as Stunfisk scrunched up her face with disgust.

"Can you believe that bastard?" Stunfisk exploded. "Telling me that men are not bastards while he simultaneously tries to manipulate me and control my words. Ugh, foul, I tell you."

"Either way," Skitty chirped, instantly trying to think positively. "On the bright side, we can now sneak around this castle without getting caught, as long as we pretend to be under Lucario's control."

Haxorus nodded her head. "I'll contact the team." She raised her tail to her mouth, searching until she found the metallic communication device. "Guys? Incineroar, Golisopod? We're in. Come through the sewers, and the three of us will let you in."

Afterwards, the three of them explored the glass cellar, awaiting the call from their team members. After a while, Skitty exuberantly began to speak.

"Do you guys want to hear a Shakespeare joke?" she asked, her tail twitching with excitement.

"Sure!" Haxorus replied.

Skitty grinned. "Why doesn't Shakespeare like pencils?"

"No idea," Stunfisk shrugged.

"Because…" Skitty began. "They confuse him. 2B or not 2B?"

 **0000**

" **I have yet another one!" Skitty burst out inside the confessionals. "If Shakespeare cooked breakfast, what meal would he make?"**

 **She waited dramatically, as if someone was in the room trying to guess. After a moment, she released a cheesy grin.**

" **A hamlet!"**

 **0000**

Golisopod gritted his teeth against the rock he held in his hands. It was going to be a damn long trek to the Kyogres castle, especially when he and Incineroar had to ease across waterways and over crumbling bits of glass in the sewers.

But this was the way to the cellar in which Skitty, Haxorus and Stunfisk were waiting for them. Even if the girls hadn't provided a detailed path or map, the lingering stench of rotten berries led their way.

"Careful," Incineroar muttered over his shoulder as he edged around a loose bit of rock. Golisopod bit back his retort at the obvious order. But he couldn't blame Incineroar; one tumble, or one wrong step, and they could be heard from the castle above.

The stench of rotten berries pushed and pulled at Golisopod's nose, and he paused, scanning the darkness of the looming tunnel. Just above him was where the cellar was supposed to be. Why it smelt like rotten berries, Golisopod had no idea. Lately, all his team members had been smelling just like that foul stench.

"Watch where you step," Incineroar warned, scanning the tunnel. "It's all loose stone and debris."

"I can see just as well as you," Golisopod huffed, unable to restrain himself from the retort this time. He rotated his shoulders, stretching his limbs, as he eyed his partner.

Incineroar shrugged. "Let's go, then."

Golisopod debated snapping a response, but… perhaps that was why the fire-type kept giving him warnings; to piss him enough to distract him from the tedious stench and horrendous conditions of the sewerage.

Damn, it was almost enough to make Golisopod want to embrace the bastard.

So, together, they continued into the catacombs of the glass castle.

 **0000**

" **There is something about the rotten berry smell that is making me uneasy," Golisopod admitted, folding his arms. "Just this challenge, it seems to be all I can smell from all my team members. I doubt it is anything worry about, but I can't help but wonder whether I smell like that too."**

 **0000**

Incineroar and Golisopod walked on the smoothly stoned pathway until they reached the door made of glass, the door that most likely led towards the cellar in which their team members were waiting for them.

But the door had already been peeled back, as if massive and claws hands had ripped it off its hinges.

Golisopod sucked in his breath, though Incineroar didn't dare to breathe too loudly. His blood ran cold, as if it were recoiling from the very wrongness of this shredded door.

"Someone has been here," Incineroar pointed out, and Golisopod merely cursed in response.

The darkness of the chamber was seemingly impenetrable, but Incineroar didn't dare allow himself to create a flame. Golisopod winced as he took a step forwards onto wet, sticky piece of gum. After a moment, he held his breath, realising that the gum was still moist and warm; it had recently been spat from someone's mouth.

"Hurry," Golisopod whispered, setting his foot down and rubbing the gum onto the floor.

Incineroar drew his glass sword, making for the doorway through which they'd entered, with Golisopod backing towards him.

Something dropped onto Incineroar's shoulder. Water, probably. With his hand, Incineroar moved to wipe it away but halted his movements as soon as his hand brushed against his shoulder.

It was not water.

It was gum.

Incineroar and Golisopod went rigid as a silent cackle filled the passage.

Something on the ceiling moved, then. Except, it wasn't one something; it was _two_ somethings.

Swallowing down their terror, the two glanced up to find Lurantis and Lucario looking down upon them, their glass swords already drawn.

"Shit," Golisopod cursed, but before he or his partner could move or fight, Lucario and Lurantis had already leapt towards the ground, hitting their opponents over the head with the hilt of their swords, knocking them completely unconscious.

As Lurantis and Lucario began to drag Incineroar and Golisopod into the cellar to lock them, Incineroar's eyelids fluttered open, though his limbs were too weak to fight back.

"How did you know we were down there?" Incineroar managed to whisper.

Lucario exchanged a glance with Lurantis, before joking, "Lord Magikarp knows all, apparently."

"That," Lurantis snickered. "And the fact that we could smell rotten berries in the sewers all the way from upstairs."

Before Incineroar could even ask why he smelled like rotten berries, he was thrown into a room with Golisopod, Skitty, Haxorus and Stunfisk, before the door was slammed shut on him.

 **0000**

" **I don't know why, but I find the scent of those rotten berries so enticing," Lurantis drawled. "The death and reek and misery of it. It's so very enchanting."**

 **0000**

Zoroark's mane no longer flowed behind her as she led a bruised Meowstic through the shining halls of the Groudons palace. The guard in the castle, Lycanroc, didn't even bother to stop her from intruding.

Why would they, when all they could see was a nonchalant Incineroar storming through the castle with a Meowstic by their side?

Zoroark couldn't help but hide a grin. She loved having the ability to look like other Pokémon. She just had to make sure that Incineroar was nowhere in sight, otherwise it would be clear that one of them was a fraud.

The halls were so very quiet. It seemed that Shroomish had sealed his court, running in hiding with Vespiquen and Noctowl as his guards.

Meowstic said nothing as he was dragged forwards by Zoroark, who was disguised as Incineroar, though he put on a good show of looking furious, like a pursued Pokémon desperate to find a way back to freedom.

Seeing Lycanroc eyeing him with interest, he jerked against the chains, and Incineroar leaned in close.

"I don't think so," the fake Incineroar purred, but Meowstic didn't deign a response.

He and Zoroark had formulated the plan so carefully; she would disguise herself as Incineroar and look as if she were dragging Meowstic to the cellar, only so that they could both search around the castle for Shroomish.

So they went up, up and up, into the ice castle.

It was an effort for Zoroark to not exchange a glance with Meowstic as they neared the massive glass doors, already open to reveal the ice coated floor of the king's throne room, which was already open to reveal Buneary, seated on the glass throne, with Gastly and Froslass beside her.

 **0000**

" **Where is Shroomish hiding?" Zoroark asked herself, frowning. "He seems to be literally nowhere!"**

 **0000**

Buneary eyed the Incineroar with delight as he dragged Meowstic forwards. Though she seemed pleased initially by Meowstics capture, her grin quickly faded once Incineroar took another step forwards.

"Wait," the bunny scowled. "The plan was for you and Golisopod to go and help Haxorus, Skitty and Stunfisk explore the castle and find Stunfisk. I even sent Salazzle and Krokorok to go and help you. Why didn't you tell me that there was a change in plans?"

"Don't blame me for piss-poor messengers," Incineroar snarled. "I asked Golisopod to come back here and contact you, but he obviously didn't listen."

Buneary's eyes bored into the Incineroar. Froslass and Gastly hadn't moved a muscle, their features stone-cold as they watched the exchange.

"And how did you wind up with Meowstic in chains?" Buneary asked.

Meowstic was only gazing straight ahead, feigning distraught as his pleading face twisted in agony.

"He was waiting near the bridge, like a good dog. I got him to tell me every single plan the Kyogres had planned to use against us. He told me all their plans," Incineroar responded, somewhat hesitantly.

Buneary eyed Incineroar. "Did he, now?"

Zoroark avoided the urge to glance at the glass wall to see whether she still looked exactly like Incineroar, or whether her guise was beginning to melt.

"I do wonder," Buneary mused, leaning back on the throne, "which one of you is stronger: Meowstic, or you, Incineroar. Or should I call you Zoroark?"

As soon as she heard her name, Zoroark cursed and Meowstic's face turned pale.

They were caught.

 **0000**

" **How did I know?" Buneary asked. "I've worked out by now that everyone on our team smells like rotten berries. If that was the real Incineroar, I would have smelt those rotten berries. But she didn't smell like anything peculiar."**

 **She played with her nails before continuing. "Also, she mentioned something about sending Golisopod a message to contact me, but if she was the real Incineroar, she would know that we had communication devices; there would be no need for piss-poor messengers at all."**

 **0000**

Without a moment of hesitation, Zoroark allowed herself to transform into her normal form, before reaching out with a sack and swiping at Gastly. Meowstic flew behind the throne, keeping himself hidden as Zoroark ran away, with Gastly in her sack.

"Get her!" Buneary called out to Froslass.

Zoroark hurtled down the hallway, glass windows flanking her, nothing but open sky around her.

And behind, charging after her like a black storm, was Froslass. Ice spread from the ghost-type, hoarfrost splintering along the windows.

The moment that ice hit her, Zoroark knew she would not be able to run another step; it would freeze her into one place. Trembling at the thought, Zoroark pushed herself harder as she neared a narrow flight of stairs and hurled herself up, taking the steps by twos and threes.

Ice cracked along the glass behind her, and cold bit at her heels; Froslass and her ice were getting closer.

Faster, Zoroark flew up the stairs until she hit the top, the ice making the landing so slick that she skidded, going sideways, going down-

She caught herself with a paw against the floor. She slammed into a glass wall and rebounded, then she was running again as Froslass and her ice closed in around her.

Suddenly, Froslass used up some of her power. Spears of ice shot out from the walls, narrowly missing Zoroark's sides.

"Give Gastly back," Froslass demanded, not at all winded by the frantic chase. "Give him back, please."

Ignoring her, Zoroark reached a glass-covered bridge that stretched between two of the highest spires. The floor was utterly transparent, so clear that she could see every inch of the plunge to the ground below her.

Froslass released more power, and hoarfrost coated the windows, making the walls groan until the glass exploded. Zoroark cried out as she once again dodged a hail of ice cubes that had come close to pelting her back.

Zoroark veered to the side, to the newly broken window, and glanced through the frame to see the drop below. As soon as she heard Froslass continue to approach her, she flung herself out the window.

The ice-type remained, watching the dark-type fall out the window, land on the grass and scamper away. After a moment, Froslass smiled.

"You can come out of hiding now, Gastly," she declared gently.

Gastly appeared suddenly, his body thickening out of thin air. "Seriously," he sighed. "Why does everyone forget that we're ghosts?"

Meanwhile, as Zoroark continued trekking towards her castle, she took a peek into her bag to ensure that Gastly was alright.

"Sorry, buddy," she murmured to the bag. "I have to have some sort of prisoner-"

She froze suddenly, peering into the bag one more time.

"Bloody hell," she cursed. "It's empty!"

* * *

"Remember," Espeon said, her voice hard. "You have to make sure your entire face blank, and pretend that the ring is controlling you completely. We will pretend to be their humble servants, and give them these drinks. The drink itself has some sleep powder in it, thanks to Shroomish. Give these drinks to everyone, knock them all unconscious, and we will take Pumpkaboo and hold her at checkmate."

"Yes, ma'am," Absol replied with a nervous sigh.

The two walked into the throne room of the Kyogres castle to find Pumpkaboo standing directly in the middle, partying and hopping on her nimble feet as her fellow team members danced around her. Espeon couldn't help but roll her eyes at the sight; Pumpkaboo seemed to be exactly like those medieval rulers who spent all their time partying and drinking.

"We brought drinks," Absol stated, his tone lacking any sort of emotion as he stared ahead blankly. For a moment, Espeon actually felt proud of him and the effort he was putting into remaining like a robotic little doll.

"Ah, most wondrous!" Pumpkaboo beamed, already hopping towards the pair. "I thanketh thee, Absol and Espeon. I'm so fain yond those rings art controlling thy minds!"

The pair did not utter a word as Pumpkaboo reached out for a drink, both of them holding their breaths as she raised the glass to her mouth for a sip. This was it. They could win this challenge for their team. They just needed her to drink from the glass, fall unconscious-

"Stop right there."

Before anyone could react, Lurantis had leapt in front of Pumpkaboo and knocked the glass onto the ground. The glass shattered onto the ice floor, little crystals scattering across the floor.

"Wherefore didst thee doth yond?" Pumpkaboo hissed, watching the contents of her drink spill and stain the floor. "I was going to drink that!"

Ignoring her, Lurantis pushed his scythe forwards and slashed at the tray of drinks that Absol had been balancing on his back. The rest of Pokémon watched in horror as the tray clattered onto the floor, the drinks seeping out through the splinters and cracks in the glasses.

"It's a trap," Lurantis finally explained, pointing accusingly towards Espeon and Absol. "The rings are fake. I worked it out once I threw Golisopod and Incineroar into the cellar with Skitty, Stunfisk and Haxorus. The rings never controlled their minds; they just used it to earn our trust so that we allow them to freely roam the castle."

The Kyogres in the room all turned to face Espeon and Absol, silently demanding a response. By then, Absol's poker-face had long vanished from his features, and even Espeon had cracked a sly grin.

"By the sounds of it, Lurantis," Espeon began. "You've always been suspicious of the rings."

Lurantis snickered. "I was suspicious the moment I saw Lucario first put that ring on you." When he saw the psychic-type arch her brow, he continued, "I've played you in chess before, Espeon. I know exactly how you like to play things. You calculate every move. There is no way you'd allow Lucario to manipulate you so easily."

As he was speaking, all the other Kyogres in the room had begun to walk around Espeon and Absol, circling and cornering them. Espeon did a quick skim of the room; they were surrounded by Lurantis, Lucario, Pumpkaboo, Mimikyu, Banette and Primarina. And all of them carried glass swords.

Absol seemed to notice their dilemma, his eyes widening as he realised that they were completely outnumbered. He turned to give Espeon a cheesy, desperate grin.

"Looks like this is the end of us," Absol pointed out to Espeon. "I just want to say that it's been an honour working with you."

Espeon snarled. "Don't be so fucking dramatic."

The dark-type beside her began to swing the sickle-shaped horn on his head, swinging and swinging to ensure none of the Kyogres approached him.

Lucario, who was reaching out for him, pulled back to avoid the horn, but Banette was already right behind Absol. With a grunt, Absol felt a stab at his fur and fell to the ground as Banette jabbed him once again with the glass sword, not daring to penetrate skin, and held the sword to his throat determinedly.

Meanwhile, Espeon hissed as Primarina slammed into her, knocking her to the ground. She bellowed in pain, before reaching out to bite the water-type, who flipped back, out of reach, just in time to avoid the fangs.

Though she tried to raise herself from the ground, Espeon was sent back down as she felt someone kick at her feet, sweeping her off her balance. She glanced up to find Lurantis and Mimikyu clamping down her legs, ensuring she wouldn't move from the ground.

Pumpkaboo watched her comrades march the two new prisoners to the cellar, a bright grin on her face. Just as she was about to speak, Exeggutor barged into the room.

"We caught another two prisoners!" Tor declared.

Ex nodded his head. "Yeah. We found Salazzle and Krokorok sneaking about and trying to open up the cellar."

"And how did you manage to capture them?" Pumpkaboo asked awkwardly. "Er, you don't exactly have arms."

The three brothers exchanged nervous glances, and fidgeted with the rainbow band that was on their forehead.

"Lord M-Magikarp helped us," Egg quickly explained, before Tor smacked him by knocking his head on him.

"Egg! Shut up!"

"Argh! I'm sorry!"

 **0000**

" **For a team that likes partying, the Kinky Kyogres are doing exceptionally well," Shaymin pointed out. "So far, they have captured nine prisoners from the other team: Salazzle, Krokorok, Incineroar, Golisopod, Espeon, Absol, Skitty, Stunfisk and Haxorus. Meanwhile, the Guzzling Groudons haven't captured any."**

 **0000**

King Shroomish was hiding in the kitchens of his own castle, pacing around as his two guards, Vespiquen and Noctowl, watched him stress.

"The other team has captured nine of our team members," Shroomish frantically stated. "Which means that if we don't capture Queen Pumpkaboo soon, our team will lose!"

"Relax, King Shroomish," Vespiquen soothed. "We can always save them."

Shroomish glanced up at her. "We can? Wouldn't that be a suicide mission, though? Seven of us against thirteen of them?"

"We do have Lycanroc," Noctowl pointed out jokingly. "He could probably turn the tables."

"That's true," Shroomish reasoned. "But for the better, or for the worse?"

Vespiquen shrugged her shoulders. "That is something we would only know afterwards, so I'm not sure if that is a risk worth taking."

After a moment of silence, Noctowl spoke up again.

"I'll go and save them," Noctowl suggested. "All of our prisoners still have their communication devices, so I can contact them when I am close to their cellar. Since I can fly, I can distract everyone else and they can escape and run."

They all agreed on the plan, and before long, Shroomish was left biting his lip as Noctowl flew off.

 **0000**

" **What if we lose?" Shroomish questioned, panicking. "If we lose, I'll probably be the one eliminated just for being a terrible king!"**

 **0000**

"Alright, guys," Haxorus called out to the other eight Groudons in the cellar. "It's time for us to escape from this cellar!"

They all gave her sceptical looks, especially once they noted that her tail was clasped in her hands, the communication device close to her mouth.

"What, we're just going to walk out the door?" Espeon snickered, gesturing at the door that was sealed shut. "It's locked."

But Stunfisk was already at the door, Haxorus carrying her, and fidgeting with a lock. Too engrossed in her own actions, Skitty spoke on behalf of her.

"Stunfisk knows how to pick locks," the small feline explained. Just as she spoke, there was a satisfying click that escaped the lock, and the lock came hurtling towards the ground as Stunfisk chucked it away.

Golisopod was already reaching for the door handle when Salazzle suddenly stopped him.

"Wait, twerp," Salazzle told him.

"What's wrong?" Golisopod snapped. "What are you waiting for? Prince Charming?"

Salazzle rolled her eyes. "They would be stupid to not have someone guarding the door. How are we so sure that we can just saunter out of here?"

"Don't worry," Skitty assured them. "Noctowl is distracting them."

Incineroar exchanged a bewildered glance with Absol. "We have a Noctowl on our team?"

No one bothered responding as they pushed open the door and ran into the light, the nine of them sticking together in one large group as they began to trek their way towards freedom.

"Hey guys!" Noctowl called out from the sky, with Lucario securely grasped in her talons. The fighting-type was struggling to escape her tough grip, squirming around persistently and demanding for her to drop him. "Quick, while I'm holding Lucario, run!"

The group began to run even faster, but as they were making their way to the bridge, they heard Lucario shout.

"Wait! How did you guys even manage to break the lock?" he called out to them, genuinely baffled by the escape of the prisoners.

"Stunfisk can pick locks, apparently," Krokorok replied, smiling sympathetically at the fighting-type whose feet were swinging in the air. "Don't ask me how she knows, she just does."

The self-acclaimed model winked at Lucario. "You pick up a few skills when you have to steal makeup or sabotage your opponents in modelling competitions," she sneered, before continuing to slide towards her group.

His jaw dropping, Lucario shook his head, exasperated.

 **0000**

" **I know she would** _ **hate**_ **me for saying this," Lucario began, his eyes wide. "But Stunfisk really** _ **is**_ **a beast! And a bloody badass one, too!"**

 **0000**

As the nine of them continued to run, they all gasped in horror as the door to the castle behind them slammed open, and out came running were Lurantis, Pumpkaboo, Mimikyu, Primarina and Banette, with glass swords gripped high above their heads.

"You're not getting away!" Pumpkaboo yelled out, though her small feet were barely allowing her to catch up to anyone.

To the side, Musharna and Ribombee were sitting stop nearby trees, keeping lookout for any Pokémon stepping out of the opponent's castle.

Suddenly, Ribombee caught sight of the scrambled mess of Pokémon beneath him; both his team members and members from the other team were all chasing after each other near the bridge, brawling and bellowing as they threw weapons at one another. After a moment, he inhaled sharply.

"Musharna! The prisoners! They're getting away!" Ribombee exclaimed, hopping onto his feet and flying down rapidly. "We have to do something!"

The psychic-type was already following suit, and wafting from her body was the sleeping gas that she was used to emitting. She had long gotten rid of all that rotten berry stench.

She circled around the group of Pokémon, allowing the gas to gently sink down onto them, even managing to let some of the gas fall onto Noctowl and Lucario who were slightly below her in the sky.

She and Ribombee watched contently as all the Pokémon halted their fighting and began to yawn, until they all curled up and slept like one big, happy family.

"Nice save, Musharna," Ribombee huffed, counting the number of Pokémon asleep. "Let's see… All the prisoners, and Noctowl, are asleep. That includes: Absol, Stunfisk, Golisopod, Haxorus, Salazzle, Krokorok, Incineroar, Noctowl, Skitty and Espeon. But we also accidently put Lurantis, Banette, Mimikyu, Primarina and Lucario to sleep. Oh, and- shit!"

"What is it…?" Musharna asked softly, yawning.

Ribombee gulped. "We also knocked our own queen, Pumpkaboo, to sleep."

"That's alright," a voice chirped behind them. Startled, the two of them turned to face Shaymin, who was laughing at the lot of sleeping campers beneath her. "Just because your queen is unconscious, doesn't mean she is held under a sword; so she still is safe, and so is your team. Plus, no one has said checkmate."

After her brief explanation, the host took a quick photo of all the campers sleeping on the ground before flying off. Ribombee gave Musharna a tentative look.

"I suppose we should take Pumpkaboo to safety and move all these prisoners back to the cell?" he offered.

Musharna nodded.

"But where do we hide Pumpkaboo?"

The psychic-type fluttered an eyelid open. "Didn't you say that you had a den in Istanbul…?"

* * *

Magikarp and Exeggutor were storming towards the Groudons castle, weapons in hand, ready to seize King Shroomish. Without stopping for a break, they marched straight into the glass castle, facing the guard, Lycanroc, head on.

"Lycanroc," Magikarp drawled. "My most obedient follower. Why don't you let me through and help me find Shroomish?"

Lycanroc did not seem nearly as impressed as he would have a few days ago. Instead, his fanatic worshipping mode had turned into something darker as he pointed at Exeggutor.

"Why is _that_ with you, Lord Magikarp?" Lycanroc scowled.

Suddenly, Magikarp realised with a thrill of excitement that Lycanroc was jealous. Jealous that Exeggutor was right beside the orange fish, jealous that the palm tree had the opportunity to be in allegiance with him.

"Exeggutor is on my team," Magikarp explained.

"Fuck yeah, we are," Tor snapped. "Magikarp is our Lord, not yours!"

Lycanroc growled. "Lord Magikarp is _my_ Lord!"

The orange fish couldn't help but grin at the exchange. He just loved it when his followers fought over him. Loved it.

"Now, now," Magikarp spoke, his voice hollow. "I have a solution. I'll be the Lord for whoever gets me Shroomish."

"No," Tor snapped once again, ignoring the rattling and murmurs of the two brothers beside him. "No! Lord Magikarp has given the rainbow band to me! To _me_!"

Lycanroc raised his eyes to the rainbow band. "So? I am the conductor of the meat train!"

"Yes," Tor replied, snarling. "But can your meat train do this?"

"Hey, guys," Meowstic began, walking into view. "You don't happen to know where Shroomish is hiding, do you- oh." He stopped himself as he witnessed the horrifying scene before him.

Exeggutor had tipped his head back to the sky and roared, releasing a terrifying battle cry that was shrill and piercing to the ear.

And just as the scream came to a stop, the entire glass castle shattered.

 **0000**

" **Please, Arceus," Meowstic commented, rubbing his eyes. "I hope Exeggutor never** _ **ever**_ **consider a career in opera. Imagine the number of mirrors he'd break."**

 **0000**

The glass floor exploded beneath them, and the world turned into shards of flying glass around Magikarp, Exeggutor, Lycanroc and Meowstic. All four of them plummeted into open air, towers crashing down around them; all screaming as a tidal wave of glass came rushing towards them.

Down and down they went, the ground surging up, the building around them rupturing, the light so bright as it was reflected off the glass shards.

Meowstic pulled out every last drop of his psychic energy as the castle collapsed, a lethal wave of glass cascaded towards the four of them, using his ability to hold up the glass and keep it from bursting on them. A wind shoved against him, brutal and unforgiving, his muscles groaning as he attempted to keep the entire castle upright with simply his own energy.

The wind tore into him, and he could hold the castle up no longer. Wave after wave of glass and debris slammed into him, Magikarp, Exeggutor and Lycanroc, and they rained down among the glass until the ground rose up to meet them and darkness ensued as they were knocked unconscious.

And as Meowstic felt his eyes drooping shut, the darkness and exhaustion consuming his mind, he could see Magikarp from the corner of his eye.

And the fish was smiling.

* * *

"Only nine remain conscious now," Shaymin dramatically announced to the camera. "We have Ribombee and Musharna, dragging their queen to safety. We have Vespiquen, who is ushering Shroomish out of their collapsing castle. We have Buneary, Gastly and Froslass who are still inside the crumbling castle, trying to keep it up, and finally, we have Zoroark and Garchomp who are furiously trying to find Shroomish and capture him. So… who will win?"

The camera then panned to where Buneary, Gastly and Froslass were standing. The three of them were surrounded by glass fragments, with only one layer of glass remaining above them. All three of them were holding up the final piece of the castle, to ensure that it didn't fall onto them. Despite this, two of them were engaged in a heated argument.

"We have to go hunt down Queen Pumpkaboo," Buneary stated. "Otherwise our team will never win."

Froslass nodded her head. "I understand that, but right now, we are in a very fragile state. If we let go of this glass layer we are holding up, it will come crashing down onto us. We will surely be knocked unconscious."

"What do you suggest we do?" Buneary asked, exasperated. "Stay here and hold up the goddamn castle until the sun goes down or our knees buckle from exhaustion?"

"Well, what do _you_ suggest we do?" Froslass countered. "Let go of this building and let it fall down on us completely, so that we are trapped and buried under all of this ice?"

The two glared at each other.

"All I'm saying," Froslass continued. "Is that we should wait for someone to come. Surely, one of our team members will find us and help us. Or, alternately, they might find Pumpkaboo. We must wait patiently. There are ten of our members inside Pumpkaboo's castle; they can find a way to grab onto the queen."

Buneary snickered. "But how do we know that they are strong enough to grab onto Pumpkaboo? They're not responding when we try to talk to them using the communication devices, are they? How do we know that they are okay?"

"We just have to hope-"

" _SHUT UP_!"

To Froslass's surprise, the scream hadn't come from Buneary at all. It was Gastly, panting now, who had screeched the 'shut up' at the top of his voice.

Seeing the two girls stare at him, Gastly began to flush furiously.

"What I m-mean is t-t-that-" he stammered, looking down at the ground as he continued to push a piece of ice upwards.

"What?" Buneary demanded, narrowing her eyes at him.

Gastly sighed, forcing himself to speak his mind clearly and brutally. "All I wanted to say was that you two bickering is not going to solve anything, okay?!" he finally burst, somewhat frantically. "So just shut up!"

The bunny, obviously surprised by Gastly's impatience and frustration, frowned. "Okay, what do you suggest we do? Should we listen to Froslass and stay here and hold up ice, or should we listen to _my_ piece of advice and just go and hunt down Pumpkaboo?"

Seeing both girls eye him, waiting his response, Gastly began to tremble. He knew this was a trap; they were basically asking him to choose which one he liked more. He didn't need to read the encyclopaedia on girl-code to know that.

He knew which option he would like to choose. Froslass's idea made a lot more sense to him; as soon as they let go of the building in order to escape, it would simply crash on all of them. Perhaps Buneary was tough enough to shove her way out of the glass and debris, but he certainly wasn't. Besides, there were probably heaps of his team members already scouting around and looking for Pumpkaboo.

But if he agreed with Froslass, Buneary would be hurt. Buneary, his closest friend perhaps and the first person who allowed him to speak louder than a whisper, would feel betrayed. She might not eat any of his treats, or let him train with her in the morning, or even let him talk to her. She would silence him just as quickly as she had amplified him.

So although he knew which idea he liked more, he glanced down at the ground as he made his decision.

"I think we should go with Buneary's idea," he muttered, giving Froslass an apologetic look. The ice-type didn't say anything, but she seemed to understand, as she smiled softly at him.

Grinning, Buneary immediately let go of the ice and began running away from the castle. Gastly joined her, but he was not nearly as quick, and the glass building toppled over both Froslass and himself, burying them both under shards and fragments of ice.

"Gastly!" Buneary hollered, before turning back and leaping onto the pile of ice, trying to dig her way to find her companion.

To her dismay, though, the final peak of the roof had just begun to fall without its foundation, and she glanced up in terror to find the roof of her own castle fall straight onto her, the flag shredded and torn. All Buneary could do was curse as the final, remaining piece of the castle shattered as it crashed onto her.

"Fuck."

 **0000**

" **As soon as I heard that Vespiquen was the one guarding Shroomish, I knew I had to go and fight her," Garchomp noted with a grin. "It's perfect. Not only do I get to avenge Charizard by fighting her - much worse than a single punch - I can also win for our team."**

 **0000**

Scrambling away from the shattering castle was Vespiquen, Shroomish tucked safely in her hands. After an exhausting run, she made it to the bridge that separated their castle from the castle of the Kyogres. As she tried to catch her breath, she took a glance down and gulped; beneath the bridge was a deep pit, at least a few kilometres until it hit the ground. If she were to accidently drop Shroomish of the bridge, he would never survive that fall.

"Classic Shaymin," Shroomish muttered. "Setting her show on one of the most dangerous terrains in existence."

Vespiquen smiled at him. "I don't think we should go towards the enemy castle. Let's hide in one of the forest-" Before she could finish her suggestion, she was interrupted by a voice on the other end of the bridge.

"Going somewhere?"

It was Garchomp.

Vespiquen could feel her entire body tense up, her skin becoming clammy as she pressed away the fear. Over the weeks, she had come to fear Garchomp and her persistent bullying; throwing stones at her, slapping her, constantly scowling at her - it was enough to make her nervous simply by the dragon-type's presence.

Swallowing down the bile that had begun to rise at her throat, Vespiquen smiled at her opponent.

"Hi, Garchomp," she greeted weakly, forcing herself to remain calm. _Be a queen. Be polite. Be courteous. Be a queen._

Garchomp didn't seem to care about being civil. "Give me Shroomish."

"No, thanks," Vespiquen denied. "You see, that would be going against the challenge-"

"I said, give me Shroomish."

Taken back by the brittleness of Garchomp's voice, Vespiquen felt the smile fall from her face. Was she really going to allow herself to be pushed around constantly by this Pokémon? She was a queen; she shouldn't need to lick the shoe of a bully.

"Give me Shroomish," Garchomp repeated, stepping forwards.

Vespiquen allowed her features to harden for once. "Otherwise what? You'll threaten to slap me again?"

"I don't make threats," Garchomp snarled. "Only promises."

Narrowing her eyes, Vespiquen placed Shroomish down on the ground behind her, and the king let out a little 'oof' as he touched the ground. Turning back to face Garchomp, Vespiquen said, "You know what, Garchomp? I'm a little tired of you. I'm tired of your bullying, I'm tired of being scared of you, and I'm tired of being pushed around by you. I can't always lick your shoe, especially when I haven't done you any harm."

"Liar," the dragon-type spat. "I know exactly what you did to Charizard-"

"What did I do?" Vespiquen snapped back. "I never even voted for him! It's not my fault he is eliminated, and it's kind of sad to see that you're _still_ thinking about that."

They both stared down each other across the bridge. Garchomp, in particular, was seething with rage.

Queen, Friend of Bees, Maker of Honey; Garchomp didn't give a shit what Vespiquen was. She was going to kill that woman for speaking to her about Charizard like that.

Behind Vespiquen, Shroomish sat on the ravine's edge, eyes wide. With a whistle, Vespiquen gestured for him to start running away. As soon as she realised that Shroomish wouldn't be leaving without her, she turned back to Garchomp facing her as they both made their way to the centre of the bridge, glass swords drawn.

"I'm going to rip you to shreds," Garchomp hissed. "You're going to regret-"

Before she could finish, though, Vespiquen swept out a leg, sending Garchomp tripping back. Vespiquen didn't hesitate; she flipped the sword in her hand and lunged.

Garchomp deflected the blow, but Vespiquen got past her guard and pinned her, slamming her head against the wooden planks of the bridge. The dragon-type twisted with every bit of her strength, and the two of them went flipping across the bridge.

"You've gotten stronger," Garchomp panted, struggling as she pushed Vespiquen off from her.

Nimbly, Vespiquen was instantly on her feet. "Not stronger. Braver." With a smirk, she added, "But I suppose they're the same thing."

 **0000**

" **I have actually gotten some fan mail yesterday from the members from my hive," Vespiquen confessed, waving a piece of paper in her hand. "It says:** _ **My queen, I have heard about what happened with Garchomp, but you mustn't be discouraged. You've done a great job so far, and I know you'll pull through. However… with what we're seeing, it seems there are others causing you problems. I advise that you be more assertive. Don't be afraid to show people how you really feel."**_

 **Vespiquen refolded the letter, shoving in securely into her hands before wiping away a tear.**

" **I will," she declared softly. "Not for revenge, but for my hive. For our honour."**

 **0000**

Garchomp lunged forwards with her claws, as swift and deadly as a snake. Vespiquen darted back, dodging each swipe of those lethal claws, moving back and back, before reaching out and jabbing with her own sword.

The dragon-type sidestepped her easily, only to slash Vespiquen's neck with hr nails. Though the bee had spun aside, the nails still grazed her skin, leaving a small wound.

Grabbing onto her own sword, Garchomp feinted left and slashed right, whilst Vespiquen hastily ducked and rolled aside. Vespiquen then attempted to drive her sword into Garchomp's spine, but the dragon-type lashed out with her hand and wrapped it clean around the blade.

Blood welled, but Garchomp bore down on the blade until it snapped into two pieces in her hand.

"Arceus above," Vespiquen swore, her jaw dropping as she pulled back the shortened sword and inspected it.

Despite it being broken, Vespiquen went to go low with the shortened blade, but Garchomp was already there, a triumphant shout ringing in the air as the dragon-type drove her knee up into Vespiquen's stomach.

The air knocked from Vespiquen in a whoosh, but she kept her grip on the sword, even as Garchomp threw her down on the bridge. The wooden planks rocked against the blow, and Vespiquen held her head, agony arcing through her, but ducked just in time as Garchomp slashed directly for her face.

Again, the bridge shuddered beneath the impact.

Vespiquen squeezed air into her body. _Move_. She had to keep moving, smooth as a stream, smooth as the wind. Plank over plank, she evaded every hit, ducking, rolling and dodging.

Garchomp swiped and slashed, slamming into every wooden plank as Vespiquen continued to avoid every blow. After a while, though, Vespiquen slowed her movements, allowing Garchomp to think she was growing tired and clumsy.

"Enough, coward," Garchomp hissed, beginning to tackle Vespiquen to the ground.

But Vespiquen swung around and flew into the air with her frantic wings, looking down at the looming drop beneath the bridge, just as Garchomp collided with another plank of wood.

The bridge groaned and swayed as Garchomp tugged at the ropes, but she yanked too hard. The ropes attaching one end of the bridge to the ground had ripped off, sending that side of the bridge slipping down into the abyss.

Garchomp didn't have time to lunge away onto safe ground as the bridge began to crumble, with dust and debris burning her eyes. It was going to collapse beneath her.

Vespiquen watching in horror as Garchomp hung onto a single wooden plank, the large drop beneath her, her knees buckled with terror as she held on for her dear life.

It would be cruel to leave Garchomp there, Vespiquen knew. Even if the dragon-type was a bully, this was not the way to seek vengeance. There was no honour in letting your opponent die.

"Vespiquen!"

The bee turned to find Shroomish shrieking at her, terror haunting his eyes. After a moment, Vespiquen understood why. Running up behind Shroomish was Zoroark, the glass sword raised in her hands, ready to seize onto Shroomish.

Her heart hammering in her chest, Vespiquen felt her breath clench. She didn't know what to do. She could either save Shroomish from Zoroark so that her team wouldn't lose the challenge, or she could swoop down and quickly save Garchomp, who was on the enemy team, from a great, big fall.

It was a cruel decision to make. She didn't want to lose for the team, since Shroomish had been her responsibility entirely. Yet, she couldn't bear the idea of Garchomp getting severely hurt due to her. Sure, Garchomp was a bully and a cruel one, too, but was this the way to serve revenge?

Her mind spinning, she finally allowed herself to make a decision.

Garchomp was a monster. But so was she; after all, Pokémon was short for Pocket Monsters. And perhaps, monsters needed to look out for each other every now and then.

Her wings flapping furiously, Vespiquen flew down until she was upon Garchomp, who simply lifted glaring eyes at her. Ignoring the menacing stare, Vespiquen hooked her arm under Garchomp's shoulder and hauled her up just as another wooden plank buckled from the bridge.

"If I die because of you," Vespiquen breathed, ignoring the large drop below her and praying that her wings would flap hard enough for her to carry both herself and Garchomp to safety. "I will beat the crap out of you in hell."

And to Vespiquen's surprise, Garchomp let out a broken laugh, nearly a dead weight as they finally landed on the ground, panting.

"You wouldn't be going to hell," Garchomp rasped as they limped over and collapsed together onto the ground. The adrenaline had made her feel light and dizzy, and before Vespiquen could help her recover, Garchomp had fallen unconscious.

Catching her breath, Vespiquen looked to where the bridge used to stretch over the drop. Glancing down, all she could see was a shining river, far, far below. It would certainly have been a death-plunge if she hadn't saved Garchomp.

Suddenly, her mind jerked with memory as she heard a grunt behind her. She turned around hastily, to find that Zoroark was gripping onto Shroomish, a sword pressed to his throat.

" _No_ ," Vespiquen muttered, lunging forwards to snatch the sword away from Zoroark's claws.

Looking up, Zoroark smiled somewhat emphatically as she saw Vespiquen reach for her sword. Without hesitating, she pressed down the sword slightly harder down onto Shroomish, before winking at the king. Vespiquen was stretching her arm, using all her energy to reach the dark-type, but she was too late. Already, she could hear Zoroark muttering the words that would signify the end of the challenge.

"Checkmate."

As soon as the words left Zoroark's mouth, Shaymin whizzed by their heads, speaking through the megaphone.

"And, thanks to Zoroark, the Kyogres _finally_ win a motherfucking challenge!" she cheered. "Which means that the Guzzling Groudons have to face elimination! Finally!"

 **0000**

" **Come** _ **on**_ **, Vespiquen," Incineroar groaned. "You literally had one job. One job."**

 **0000**

 **Garchomp blinked, her limbs dressed in bandages. She was still in a daze as she glanced out the window and shook her head. "Did Vespiquen save my life?"**

 **0000**

"Wow, Groudons," Shaymin huffed, watching them from her podium. "I have to say, I'm impressed. Winning four times in a row is sort of cool."

Salazzle arched a brow. "Really? Considering that our opponents include a sleeping Musharna, a self-obsessed Magikarp and a three-faced Exeggutor?"

"You're right," Shaymin agreed. "They totally suck. And since you lost against them today, you do too!"

Everyone glared at Salazzle momentarily, and an awkward silence ensued. The only sound that could be heard was Bellossom snoring as she leaned against the podium, the Gracidea flowers slowly falling off her tray as she slept.

"Now, the Pokémon who suck less than others and are saved from elimination are…" she trailed off slowly as the entire tray that had been in Bellossom's hands had fallen onto the ground, clattering as it hit the rocks. "Bellossom! Stop being slack on the job!"

"Slack?" Krokorok choked. "You've made her build glass castles overnight!"

Shaymin snickered. "Yes, and now she can't even hold a tray of flowers without falling asleep. Arceus, can't a legendary take a break?" She moved over to where the flowers were. "Anyways, the Pokémon who are safe today are Salazzle, Stunfisk, Froslass, Skitty, Noctowl, Krokorok, Shroomish, Gastly, Absol, Haxorus, Golisopod, Incineroar, Buneary and Espeon."

As she read the names out, she kicked the Gracidea flowers on the floor towards the designated receiver, ignoring their shouts of protest if the flower went over their head or underneath their legs.

The only two remaining were Lycanroc and Vespiquen, both of them relatively calm as they eyed the host.

"Lycanroc," Shaymin began. "It seems that your team might be a little prejudiced against your psychotic actions. That, and you kind of provoked Exeggutor into making your entire castle shatter. Kind of a shitty move, don't you think?"

The wolf twitched. "I am unused to the emotions I am currently feeling!"

"Great," Shaymin huffed with an eye roll, before turning to Vespiquen. "Meanwhile, Vespiquen, you chose helping someone in the enemy team over saving your own king. That definitely turned a few of your team members against you."

"She would have died if I didn't," Vespiquen protested.

Shaymin shrugged. "Apart from Shroomish, I don't think the rest of your team knew that, because you got a whopping fourteen votes, while Lycanroc only got two."

Shrieking with joy, Lycanroc ran and plucked a flower from the ground before inexplicably running off into the woods, leaving Vespiquen with her head bowed.

"Oh well," Vespiquen sighed. "I guess that's that."

 **0000**

" **Wow," Vespiquen sighed. "What a journey it has been. I never really saw myself having a duel with another Pokémon in the middle of a bridge, but I guess I should have expected the unexpected. Though, that wouldn't make it unexpected anymore, would it?"**

 **She chuckled a little at the sentiment.**

" **Anyways, I hope that Shroomish wins," she remarked. "While he may stand on the side a lot, he would make a fantastic leader one day. He has a good heart, but he needs to be a bit more assertive. I guess that I would know from experience."**

 **0000**

Garchomp stood outside her bedroom, arms crossed, as she watched Vespiquen carry her luggage towards the docks. She was conflicted on how to feel; part of her was grateful that the bee who had gotten rid of Charizard was going, but she also felt sympathetic for the bee. It had been Garchomp's fault, after all, that Vespiquen had abandoned Shroomish and come down to save her.

"You should go say thank you to her," Primarina offered as she approached Garchomp.

The dragon-type watched her through the corner of her eye. "Why would I do that?"

"She saved your life," Primarina scoffed. "And, in turn, got eliminated. You owe her, at least, a thank you."

"I didn't ask her to save me."

Primarina shook her head. "No one ever does. We aren't born to be saved. So when we are saved, we should understand that it's no small deal." She smiled softly before adding, "Why do you hate Vespiquen so much, anyways? She has done nothing wrong."

"She is the reason Charizard has been eliminated," Garchomp scowled.

Primarina arched a brow. "Is it, though? Or is that something you just believed due to jealousy and envy?"

For once, Garchomp couldn't bring herself to answer that question. She wanted to bitch about Vespiquen - she really did - but she couldn't bring herself to. Not after Vespiquen had so graciously saved her life today.

Taking her silence as an answer, Primarina then said, "How about you ask her before you leave what _she_ thinks happened to Charizard?"

Garchomp couldn't argue with that logic.

"Er, Primarina?" Garchomp asked hesitantly. "Thank you."

Primarina winked at her. "It's been a pleasure."

 **0000**

" **It's nice to see Garchomp getting over herself," Primarina said, beaming. "I think today has been a real blow to her."**

 **0000**

"Vespiquen, wait up!" Garchomp called as she ran ono the dock, waving her arms frantically.

The bee turned, her eyes wide with surprise, but nevertheless, she grinned. "I have to go now, Garchomp. Otherwise the driver of the boat will get pissy."

"I swear to Arceus, Vespiquen," Garchomp threatened. "If you step on that boat, I will hunt you down in hell. Just let me talk to you for a bit. Or I'll threaten the boat driver. Please, just wait."

Vespiquen cocked her head to the side. "I thought you didn't make threats; only promises."

Garchomp smiled fondly at the words; the ones she had uttered earlier that day.

"I just wanted to know what you think happened to Charizard," Garchomp admitted, glancing awkwardly at the ground, trying to hide the humiliated flush from her cheeks as she spoke to her own enemy.

The bee smiled sympathetically. "I think that someone spread a rumour that got him eliminated, and I can assure you that it wasn't me."

"Who was it then?" Garchomp enquired. "I thought it was you because, when Charizard was leaving, he wouldn't tell me who it was. I assumed that, since you were there, he didn't want to admit that it was you in your presence."

"Ah," Vespiquen sighed in understand. "But I wasn't the only other Pokémon there, was I?"

They both stood in silence, the ball rolling in Garchomp's head. Finally the dragon-type inhaled sharply.

"Lurantis was there, too," Garchomp recalled. "And Lurantis was the one who told me it was you. Does that mean that he was misleading me, so I could target you and get rid of you?"

Gesturing at the boat, Vespiquen nodded her head. "And his scheme succeeded too."

"Oh, shit," Garchomp cursed. "I am so _, so_ sorry. I don't know how or why I even fell for that bastard's plan-"

"You didn't," Vespiquen refuted, poking Garchomp politely on the nose. "But your jealousy did."

The dragon-type shook her head, her head spinning with fury. "I can't fucking believe it. He made me fall for stupid lies, he manipulated me, made me screw you over, made me screw myself over-"

"Calm down," Vespiquen mollified, her eyebrows arched with amusement. "It's okay. Don't let anger consume you again."

Suddenly, Garchomp reached out and pulled something out of her small bag. "Here," she began, pulling out a small box. "You probably won't accept this, but it'd be great if you could say yes-"

"Proposing to me?" Vespiquen mused. "How unexpected."

"I'm not proposing to you," Garchomp growled, opening the box. "It's a chess piece. I found it outside of Lurantis's dorm room. I had planned on returning it to him, but I thought it'd be better to give it to you. Just so you could, I don't know, take something that belongs to him. After all, he took away your chance of winning. With my help."

Vespiquen smiled at the sentiment, before nimbly taking the chess piece, examining it. "You took his rook. How lovely."

"I'll be taking a lot more," Garchomp reassured. "I'll avenge you, Vespiquen. Not just you, but Charizard too-"

"No," Vespiquen quickly interrupted. "No, you won't."

Garchomp shot her a quizzical look.

"Don't do it for the past and what has already been lost," Vespiquen explained. "Do it for the future; for your team and your survival and what is to come. Don't do it for vengeance; do it for honour."

With that, the bee began to trail onto her boat, waving at her old enemy and new friend as she bid her farewell. Garchomp shook her head sadly, before looking down on the ground, her mind immediately buzzing with thoughts of how she was going to fight Lurantis. Vespiquen was right; she couldn't let her angry consume her. She had to be smart, not brash.

"Charizard was right," Garchomp murmured to herself. "There really is something hiding behind the veil."

She glanced up to the dorm rooms, her eyes landing on the room where Lurantis slept, probably unfazed by the memories of Pokémon he had sent packing from this island.

"But your veil has been shredded, Lurantis. And next will be you."

 **Author's Notes:**

 **Tomato Soup: Whew! Sorry for the delay in releasing this chapter! A few things came up. And I hope everyone enjoyed the challenge - it's quite different to the usual in that it was all linear, and one big storyline (in a way). It was less character based and more challenge based, and I tried to include more action (which I am shit at sorry but I tried so I hope you liked it anyways) and yes. Finally! The much anticipated fight between Vespiquen and Garchomp! I know people have been waiting for it since that moment Garchomp slapped her, and finally, it's been resolved. I also want to say a huge thank you to davidthemightypaladin for submitting Vespiquen, and I'm sorry she had to leave. But, to be fair, she had a pretty badass battle moment (well, I tried, okay?) and I hope she's done you and her hive proud.**

 **29th Place: Vespiquen (The Kind Ruler) - She was already a pretty damned amazing person, and I certainly didn't want her developing for the worse. She brought out both Garchomp's worst and best, which is why she spent her final moments with Garchomp. Never been a fighter, but she finally learnt that being honourable is just as important as being civil. Stand up for yourselves, people. Don't be pushed around.**

 **Unless you're being pushed around by me. That is perfectly acceptable. XD I love you all!**


	13. Chapter 13: Hunters of Descent

**Chapter X: Hunters of Descent**

"Espeon?"

The aforementioned psychic type groaned, halting herself from her morning walk through the forest. With her eyes set to a glare, she turned around to face whoever had called her name. To her surprise, the tentative voice had come from none other than Stunfisk.

"What do you want, Stunfisk?" Espeon asked, a scowl hardening her features.

Her eyes wandering with hesitation, Stunfisk bit her lip. "I wanted to ask you for a favour."

"Favour?"

Stunfisk's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I was wondering if you could teach me how to use the move Attract. I heard you mentioning it to someone before, and so I assumed that you knew the move-"

"Yes," Espeon snapped, her eyes narrowing as she watched the usually obnoxious and proud Pokémon flounder for words. "I get it. If I taught it to you, what would I get in return?"

"My unwavering loyalty," Stunfisk answered, batting her eyelashes. "That, and I'll tell you all my beauty secrets, show you how to be as gorgeous as me, help you decide on the perfect foundation for your skin and even give you my discount voucher for Maybelline products-"

The psychic-type snickered. "That's a pretty pathetic deal, honestly." She took a step closer to the self-acclaimed model, grinning as she said, "But if you're so confident about your beauty secrets and you think you're so gorgeous, why would you need to learn Attract in the first place? Wouldn't you have already infatuated everyone on this island by now with your so-called perfect foundation and Maybelline products?"

Stunfisk lowered her eyes, causing Espeon to roll her eyes.

"Besides," Espeon began. "For someone to learn Attract, they have to at least be _slightly_ attractive."

"I _am_ attractive," Stunfisk growled. "I am the prettiest, most amazing Pokémon on this island. I am not at all ugly."

Espeon shrugged. "Then you wouldn't need to learn Attract." After seeing Stunfisk hiss, Espeon snickered once again. "What's wrong? Have you been so self-obsessed that you never even stopped to wonder why you wanted to learn attract in the first place? Have you not once considered that maybe you're not as stunning as you think you are? That, perhaps, the reason you want to learn this move is because, deep inside, you know that you're _ugly_?"

She drawled out the final word, stepping back, content, as she watched Stunfisk's words failed her. Stunfisk had always frustrated Espeon more often than not; always too focused on herself rather than the actual challenge. If she hadn't proved that she could pick a lock last challenge, she would have certainly been eliminated by now.

After seeing Stunfisk's mouth gape open for a while, Espeon rolled her eyes. "That's just my opinion," Espeon finally said. "If you believe you're drop dead gorgeous, I won't stop you from believing that."

With that, she turned to walk away towards the cafeteria.

"I know I'm ugly."

The words were barely a whisper, and Espeon froze instantly, turning to face Stunfisk with wide eyes. "Pardon?"

Tears were freely coursing down Stunfisk's face, her mouth twisted into a snarl.

"I said, I know I'm ugly," Stunfisk repeated, every word sounding more and more strangled. "You think I don't know? Of course I bloody know! I'm reminded of it _every_ day. I'm the ugly sister, I'm the horrible daughter. Hell, when it comes to girlfriends, I'm not even the second choice! I'm not the clever one, nor am I the charismatic one. I'm the leftover one. The talentless one. I'm the 'why are you even here?' one."

Espeon blinked, wisely keeping her mouth shut.

"I grew up wanting to be as pretty as an Altaria or Milotic," Stunfisk admitted, her voice shaking with bitterness. "But whatever the fuck that Ludicolo would always go on about, he was right. The Wheel of Fortune screws us all over. I was born a Stunfisk, so I was always destined to be horrible, disgusting and ugly. And no matter how hard I tried to make myself as pretty as all those television stars, the only thing I would gain was a crowd of Pokémon who would follow me just to make fun of me. To fucking abuse me!"

"Then why do you regard yourself so highly?" Espeon asked, watching her with lazy interest.

Stunfisk forced a hard laugh. "Have you ever heard the saying: fake it till you make it? I believed in it. I thought that maybe, just maybe, if I kept telling myself I was pretty, I would shut down those voices in my head that told me otherwise. I thought that if I could convince myself I was pretty, there would be no need to convince anyone else. So I faked it, and faked it. But it doesn't work, Espeon. It doesn't work. No matter what you tell yourself, those voices in your head - they know exactly where you are vulnerable. They know exactly how to make you miserable."

Her face softening slightly, Espeon regarded the ground-type with fascination. "I see."

"I thought that if I won this show, Pokémon would stop regarding me as an ugly pancake who fails every beauty show audition," Stunfisk hissed. "They'd see me as a worthy victor, someone who is tough and strong and capable. Not some try-hard wannabe. And even if I don't win that money, I'll be damned if I leave this island without some sort of trick that can convince everyone otherwise."

"So this is your solution?" Espeon enquired. "Learning Attract?"

"Do you have a better solution?"

Espeon arched her brow. "I can think of a dozen."

"Well, then," Stunfisk sighed, turning around. "Thank you, Espeon, for reminding me exactly what a failure I am. I appreciate the reality check."

She turned around, beginning to trail off, when Espeon suddenly called out to her.

"Wait, Stunfisk," the psychic-type finally huffed, mentally cursing herself for giving in. "I'll teach you Attract on one condition."

Stunfisk smiled weakly. "I knew those Maybelline beauty products were too good to resist."

"Not that," Espeon snickered, though she was struggling to contain a smirk. "Something else."

"Anything," Stunfisk resolved, her voice desperate. "I'll do anything. Name it. What's your condition?"

"Don't tell _anyone_ that I've helped you."

Nodding her head eagerly, Stunfisk released a sigh of relief.

"Deal."

* * *

"Good morning, campers!" A boisterous voice called out over the speakers. "Pack your bags before you come to the cafeteria today! We're going to school!"

"School?" Salazzle grumbled, pulling herself out of bed. "What is she on about?"

Haxorus shrugged her shoulders. "This island, apparently, has a school for all the grass-type inhabitants. I don't know why they'd want us to go there, though."

"Where did you hear about that?" Noctowl enquired, scowling at her pillow as she attempted to scrape out the creases from her bed.

"Bellossom was mentioning it before," Haxorus answered with a shrug, regarding Noctowl with interest. Usually, the bird was always smiling and chirping about, her features mild; but when it came to cleaning, Noctowl was a different Pokémon. The bird would dust the room mercilessly until not a speck of dust remained, and she would almost move around hysterically as she did it.

Salazzle was noting that too. "Noctowl?" the reptile began. "Will you just chill with the cleaning? You don't need to make your bed so seamless, you know. You're just going to sleep in it again tonight."

"Yes," Noctowl sighed. "But when you shit, you wipe your buttocks even though you know you're just going to shit again later on, don't you?"

 **0000**

" **Noctowl is really nice!" Haxorus chimed. "She's so lovely and listens to everything you say. Except for when there is dirt involved. Then she goes a little - just a** _ **little**_ **\- hysterical."**

 **0000**

The problem for Meowstic was that he did not know how to pack for Shaymin's so-called 'school'.

He had figured that there would be a challenge involved, and knowing Shaymin, that would involve violence, gore or some sort of torturous deed that would require a weapon.

"Should I be putting kitchen knives in my bag?" Meowstic asked his roommate, Ribombee, who looked equally as confused as him. "Or should I bring the toaster and rig it up as a potential weapon?"

"I'm not really sure," Ribombee replied hesitantly, glancing awkwardly down at his own bag. "Shaymin would probably give us our own weapons if we needed them, right?"

After staring at each other for a long moment, they both immediately ran to toaster.

* * *

Bellossom led the way towards the school, claiming that the host was already waiting for them at their destination. Though her shoulders were slumped with exhaustion, she managed to maintain a smile on the journey to the school, with Krokorok talking to her for company.

"You must be exhausted, Bellossom," Krokorok pointed out, eyeing her with concern.

With a humble smile, Bellossom immediately averted her eyes. "Um, yeah, a little."

"There is a saying, you know," the crocodile stated, grinning. "I think it was something like: it takes a Bellossom to clear up a legendary Pokémon's shit. Or something along those lines."

"I… hadn't heard that saying before."

"How odd," Krokorok remarked, winking. "I've heard it very often. Very, very often."

Bellossom giggled at the thought, her face brightening as they finally reached the school.

The cast found themselves standing in a lush garden, with jade-green stretches of meadows upon meadows right down to the crystalline dazzle on the horizon that was the glass castle they had used in the last challenge, its towers blazing in the sunlight. On the other side, there were the emerald depths of a forest, dark green abundance cloaked in shadows, the tops of the trees ruffling in the wind like viridescent feathers.

In the very centre of it all sat the school, a tall grey building with tall spires, made out of stone, with a stained-glass window set in its very centre, darkened with age. Standing in front, her features fierce, was their host.

"Good morning, everyone," Shaymin greeted enthusiastically. "Before we begin today's challenge, I just want you to know that the toilets inside the school don't work."

"The toilets don't work?" Gastly asked with a gasp. "But what do we… How do we-"

Buneary coughed at her friend. "We commune with nature, if you know what I mean."

"Anyways!" Shaymin quickly started. "As you now know, this school belongs to all the grass-type inhabitants who live here, in particular, their children. But recently, it's become infested with demonic Pokémon, so none of my friends have been able to come here."

Her eyes widening, Mimikyu's jaw dropped. " _Demonic creatures_?"

"Dittos," Bellossom sighed. "Not demonic creatures. Dittos."

"Same thing," Shaymin snapped back in response. "They're foul creatures, and I'm pretty sure Manaphy purposely put these Dittos in here to piss me off, because she knows that I hate them. So, your challenge is to go into this building and capture as many demonic Dittos as you can. Whichever team catches the most of the Demonic Dittos, wins!"

Without another word, she threw open the doors to the school, with her cast bustling to go inside.

 **0000**

" **A hunting challenge," Incineroar remarked, snickering. "I can hunt. And it's a good time to see which members on our team can turn from boys to men."**

 **From outside, there was a loud cough and Salazzle slammed open the door to the treehouse, her expression saying** _ **'I will kick your ass**_ **'.**

" **Er… men and women," Incineroar clarified, looking none too happy about it.**

 **0000**

"I hear a noise!" Banette whispered furiously to Meowstic as they shuffled through the corridor, stopping to glance at a door to the side. The stained, oak doors, complete with black iron fittings, creaked as Meowstic clasped the smooth, worn-over handle.

Inside was a small stone room, containing two narrow beds with carved wooden posts, a diamond-paned window blurred with dust, and a large cupboard that had lost its leg and was tilted onto its side.

His nose scrunching from the awful conditions of the room, Meowstic arched an eyebrow to see Ribombee already inside, flying towards the ceiling. The bee revolved slowly to face the pair.

"I'm really glad you guys are here," Ribombee whispered with a sigh of relief. "Now… d-don't panic."

Banette immediately backed up a step.

"Oh, come on," Meowstic huffed, regarding Ribombee. "Saying 'don't panic' is guaranteed to make someone panic. What's the problem?"

His eyes wide with concern, Ribombee spoke carefully, each word separated from the other as he spoke. "You make a fair point," he stated lightly, his voice light yet rumbling over certain syllables with nervousness. "It's just that I think there's a demonic Ditto in the cupboard."

"By Arceus," Banette cursed, her hand immediately moving to clamp over her mouth.

Meowstic narrowed his eyes suspiciously, moving to sit on the bed. "That's ridiculous. The chapter has barely started; we can't have found one already."

There was a sound from within the cupboard; a dragging, grunting, hissing sound that raised the hairs on the back of Meowstic's neck.

With a ghost-type's fluid and liquid grace, Banette hastily leapt onto the bed that Meowstic was resting on, her eyes alert as she scanned the ground.

"The fact that I've only been sitting on this bed for two minutes and already have a girl hurling herself onto my bed with me is thrilling," Meowstic remarked, but seeing Banette's bewildered stare, he hastily added, "Except for the fact that, of course, she is fleeing from infernal Dittos."

Ribombee himself seemed to be cowering away from the cupboard. "Yes, Meowstic, erm, hi, Meowstic, please do something about the demonic Ditto."

"I'm sure it's not _demonic_ ," Meowstic reassured them.

The sound of scuffling within the cupboard reached a crescendo, forcing Meowstic to suddenly take back his words. It did sound like there was something enormous and demonic lurking within that enclosed space.

"I saw the Ditto," Ribombee quickly added. "I'm telling you, it had suspiciously l-large eyes! _Fiendishly_ large eyes."

There was another rustle, and some menacing snuffling. Meowstic sidled over to the other bed, his eyes landing on a potential item he could use rather than a toaster to capture the Ditto.

"Is that a weapon?" Banette asked, peering over his shoulder.

"Uh, no," Meowstic replied sheepishly. "It's a tennis racket." Seeing the baffled stares from both Ribombee and Banette, he shook his head.

 **0000**

" **Honestly, us Pokémon need more extracurricular activities," Meowstic sighed, toying with the racket in his hand.**

 **0000**

"Hey, Zoroark," Lucario called out, running up the corridor to catch up to one of the members on his team.

The fox turned around, head tilted curiously as she examined the fighting-type. "Hey, Lucario. What's up?"

"You're a girl, right?"

"I'd certainly hope so," Zoroark snickered back, smiling playfully. "Otherwise my life has certainly been a lie."

Lucario released a heavy but relieved sigh. "Good. I was hoping if I could get some girl advice from you. I want to talk to a girl who is, you know, beastly; so I figured I'd ask a girl who is equally as beastly for some advice."

The dark-type raised her brows. "Beastly?"

"Shit," Lucario cursed, realising his choice of words. "Before you call me a bastard, you should know that I mean that you're super cool and strong when I say beastly-"

Zoroark tilted her head back as she laughed slightly, shaking her head exasperatedly. "You could just say badass, you know."

"Oh."

"And is this Stunfisk you're talking about?" Zoroark enquired, propping a paw onto her hip. "Because I'm not sure if I would exactly call her badass-"

Lucario cut her off immediately, raising a paw to stop her. "No, you don't understand. She's _very_ cool. Did you see the way she picked that lock in the last challenge? And she _laughed_ at my joke before! _Laughed_ at it!"

"Well," Zoroark finally replied, amused. "Then why don't you make a move on her?"

"Because I don't know how to compliment!" Lucario burst out, glancing down to the ground, humiliated. "Skitty and Haxorus had tried to give me advice, but with all those rules and steps to becoming a gentleman, I don't actually know what to say or do anymore!"

After a sigh, Zoroark raised her eyes to give a sceptical look towards her team member. "Okay, then try complimenting me. I'm sure you can't be _that_ bad at compliments."

"No," Lucario countered. "You don't understand. I'm _really_ bad.

"You may as well practise, then," Zoroark reasoned.

After breathing in broadly, Lucario gave a nervous look before he spoke.

"Zoroark, you are foxier than a fox fur in a fox hole on a fox hunting day."

Seeing the hopeful expression plastered over Lucario's face, Zoroark didn't have the heart to crush him. Instead, she offered a weak smile.

"Erm, wow," she managed to say, her eye twitching. "That was _great_. It made me feel really… foxful."

Lucario flashed her a grin. "I'm glad you approve. I'll go find Stunfisk right now! You sure it was okay?"

"Yep!" Zoroark replied a bit too hastily. "Absolutely."

 **0000**

 **Zoroark winced. "That was the most half-assed attempt at flattery I've ever heard."**

 **0000**

Meowstic suspected that the racket was going to prove to be a rather terrible weapon, but realising that it was all he had, he shrugged as he clasped it in his hands. He edged back towards the cupboard, shoving open the door to reveal the splintered, gnawed-on remains of the cupboard's interior.

And there, amongst all the splinters and wooden scraps, was a Rattata, its red eyes shining as it hissed at Meowstic.

"That's not a Ditto," Banette pointed out, disappointed. "It's a Rattata with creepy eyes."

Ribombee eyed her curiously. "But… don't Dittos transform?"

The Rattata made a movement, beginning to bolt towards the door. Seeing the Pokémon scramble away, Meowstic brought the racket down with a thwack against the stone. Evading it just in time, the Rattata hissed once again and moved in the opposite direction before feinting and running between his legs.

"It's between your legs!" Ribombee cried out, leaping into the air.

"Great," Meowstic replied, a hint of sarcasm to his voice. "Now, if only _other_ things were in between my legs-"

In her mad attempt to dodge the Rattata's dash, Banette had released a sound that was similar to a terrified squawk, stumbling back and hitting the ground with her hands several times as she tried to locate the feral Pokémon.

Meowstic spun to try locate the Rattata, and as he saw a flash of purple fur from the corner of his eye, he spun again. Ribombee - either looking for reassurance or in a misguided effort to be helpful - grabbed at Meowstic's shoulders and tried to turn him, using a handful of his fur for leverage.

"There it is!" The bee called out, and Meowstic whirled on his own accord, walking backwards until he crashed into the wall.

Ribombee, already dizzy from all the movement, lurched as he saw the Rattata's purple little body creeping near his own feet. Then, Ribombee made a hasty decision and mistake; he grabbed the racket from Meowstic, and in a futile effort to hit the Rattata, hit his own foot with the racket.

Simultaneously, Meowstic had been reaching out to help the bee, but they both tripped over a chair that was between them, stumbling over the piece of furniture in a chaotic mess.

Meowstic, Ribombee, the chair and the racket all came tumbling onto the stone floor.

"Looks like… you all fell for each other," Banette jested, cheekily eyeing the two boys who were lying on the ground, battered and bruised.

Suddenly, the Rattata streaked out of the doorway, casting the three of them a red-eyed and triumphant stare.

Neither Meowstic nor Ribombee were in the condition to give the Rattata a chase, since they were in a jumble of chair legs and each other's legs, and had knocked their heads against the floor hard enough to leave their thoughts swirling with pain and bafflement.

After finally, after rubbing their heads and pulling themselves up, they glanced around to find that Rattata wasn't the only Pokémon who had disappeared from the room.

Banette had vanished as well.

* * *

The Groudons had decided that they were not only going to explore the inside of the school, but the outside as well. Absol had already ventured out to the woods, albeit terrified, and Incineroar was exploring the large field just behind the school.

"Excuse me, Mister?"

Incineroar exhaled before turning around to find a small Chespin smiling at him, his orange tapered tail waving enthusiastically.

"Yes?" Incineroar asked suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

He couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable by the Chespin; he hadn't seen many before, but he could tell there was most certainly something wrong with this one. Its small green shell seemed perfectly normal, so did the dark brown hue of its skin; but there must have been something-

Its eyes.

It had bright, glowing red eyes.

Incineroar grinned to himself as he eyed the Chespin, very aware that it was most probably one of those demonic Dittos that he had been searching for.

"Can you play with me, Mister? Maybe we can have a sword fight with sticks?"

"Of course," Incineroar replied, grinning as he reached down to pick up two long branches from the ground, offering one to the Chespin. The Ditto hadn't been very smart to choose such a small Pokémon to transform into; it was bound to lose against him.

"Thank you!" Chespin exclaimed, embracing the stick that was handed to him. "This is so very kind of you, Mister! My mama will be so happy to see me practising again. Just, forgive me, I might be a _little_ rusty."

Chespin strolled down the field as he weighed the stick in one of his hands, the sun shining brilliantly on his green shell and brown skin alike. He turned to Incineroar, who was sporting the expression of real and serious intent, complete with narrowed eyes. Chespin grinned at him.

Then, Chespin's face and the trees both went sailing by as Chespin's stick scythed Incineroar's legs out from under him, forcing Incineroar to go tumbling to the ground. The fire-type, dazed, laid there, casting the Chespin a furious look.

"You know," Chespin began thoughtfully. "I may not be so terribly rust after all."

Incineroar scrambled to his feet, clutching at both his stick and his dignity. Grinning cheerfully, Chespin moved into position to fight him, the stick as light and balanced in his hand as if he were a conductor gesturing with his baton. He moved with easy grace, but with blithely playfulness, as if he might start dancing at any moment.

"Best of three," Incineroar suggested.

Chespin's stick was a blur between his hands, and suddenly, Incineroar did not have time to shift position before a jarring blow landed on the arm that was holding his stick. The grass-type then proceeded to hit his shoulder, where he could not defend himself. Incineroar blocked the staff when it came towards his midsection, but that turned out to be a feint. Chespin scythed him off at the knees again and Incineroar wound up flat on his back in the grass. Again.

His face coming into view, Incineroar saw that Chespin was laughing childishly and giddily. "Why stop at three?" Chespon asked playfully. "I can stand here and beat you all day!"

"Not my type of fetish," Incineroar grumbled. He hooked his stick behind Chespin's ankles and tripped him up. He knew it was wrong, but in the moment, he did not care.

Chespin landed on the grass with a surprised 'Oof!' which Incineroar found briefly satisfying before he realised he was being regarded by one red eye amid the greenery.

"You know," Chespin began slowly, "I never lose in games."

"Well… congratulations!" Incineroar snapped, scrambling to his feet as he held his claws out, ready to seize and grab the Chespin.

As soon as his claws made contact with Chespin, the Pokémon began to dissolve and disintegrate into a purple blob. The Ditto, without warning, immediately slipped out of Incineroar's hands before turning into a Shuppet and running straight into the walls, escaping Incineroar's grasp while laughing childishly.

"You bloody-" before Incineroar could continue, he tripped over the stick that the Ditto had left behind, his face planting painfully into the ground.

 **0000**

" **Did it have to have such a creepy and childish laugh?" Incineroar asked, rubbing his swollen head as he shuddered. "Shaymin is right for once; it really is demonic."**

 **0000**

Skitty, Haxorus, Froslass and Shroomish were all standing inside, where a huge corridor stretched before them, with scraps of garbage and rocks beneath their feet. After peering through doors in a search for any sign of Dittos, Froslass finally sighed.

"I think it would be a good idea to split up," she offered.

Haxorus' eyes widened, and she stared horrified at her friend. "Like in… a horror movie?" she asked. "Because, if so, I dibs not looking in the basement because there is always a killer there. And I also love how in scary movies, the person yells out 'Hello?' as if the killer is going to be like 'Yeah, I'm in the kitchen, do you want a sandwich?' It's so annoying. Speaking of sandwiches, I would really love a sandwich right now. Oh, a sandwich; that would be too beautiful a dream. Just a humble sandwich, with tomato, cheese, maybe a little dab of… Oh my Arceus…" she trailed off her long babble as her mouth dribbled with saliva at the thought.

"Right, then…" Froslass muttered. "Thank you for that, Haxorus. Any other confessions from anyone?"

Shroomish attempted to raise a non-existent hand. "I'm wondering what a dab of 'oh my Arceus' tastes like."

The three girls gave him looks of bewildered incomprehension. Skitty's uncertain expression suggested she agreed with Shroomish, but she kept her mouth sealed; and since Haxorus didn't want to be the only one mutinying against Froslass' leadership, they all decided that splitting up would be a better option.

"I'll be partners with Shroomish," Skitty declared instantly, a glint in her dark eyes. "I wish to continue our conversation from breakfast. I have many more puns to tell him!"

Shroomish gave the remaining girls a _'Help me'_ stare, while calmly saying, "I don't think I want to hear any more puns, Skitty."

Skitty grinned. "I know."

 **0000**

" **Don't get me wrong; I love jokes," Shroomish insisted. "But I am in a nightmare of torrential Skitty jokes. Too… many… to handle…"**

 **0000**

Primarina and Exeggutor stared wide-eyed at the centre of the room they had entered, neither of them quite believing their eyes. Amongst the timber floors and greasy walls lay a small Popplio, lying in the ground and waving its flippers about.

"It's a baby," Primarina finally murmured, her features softening. "It's a baby Popplio."

"Oh no, the baby's blue," commented Ex. "What are we going to do?" He frowned suddenly, as if he had not meant for that to rhyme.

Then, Primarina knelt down and awkwardly took the water-type baby bundle in her arms. Sitting up, her face ashen, she stared at the baby which she held in her arms.

Egg was trying to plaster himself up against the door, expiring with terror, while Tor looked ready to hunt down a knife and stab the Popplio. Ignoring the strain of his two brothers, Ex shrugged.

"Should I give the baby mouth to mouth?" Ex asked.

Primarina froze. "No, don't do that. The Popplio is breathing. The Popplio is breathing, right?"

They all stood and stared at the little bundle as the Popplio waved his flipper in the air again.

"Well," Tor began impatiently. "If the Popplio is moving, it must be breathing."

"What i-if it's a zombie baby?" Egg chimed in.

Ex clucked his tongue. "I'm not even going to think about zombie baby Popplios at this time."

"Should we get the baby a hot water bottle, then?" Tor asked, his face becoming stern with frustration. "If it's blue, maybe it's because it is cold-"

Primarina took a deep breath. "Guys, don't lose your head. This Popplio is not blue because he is cold or because he cannot breathe. It's a Popplio, for Arceus' sake. It's _supposed_ to be blue."

"No," Egg quickly countered. "It's the wrong shade of blue. It's more of a sky blue, when it should be closer to navy blue."

"You seem very knowledgeable," Tor remarked mockingly. "You should hold the baby."

Egg squawked. "No!"

"Everybody, stay where you are," Primarina urgently called out. "I want you all to stay calm, but-"

"It's a zombie, isn't it?" Egg squeaked, before knocking himself unconscious, his head dropping low.

His brother, Tor, glared at him, while Ex only shook his head sympathetically. "Don't be mad, Tor," Ex requested. "But what's the problem, Primarina?"

"This baby Popplio has red eyes."

* * *

Krokorok had to hold his breath as he moved through the dark, narrow halls, with decaying wood on either side of him. Splattered across the walls was viscous black slime, oozing from mysterious holes scattered over the walls.

"I don't remember school all that well," Krokorok joked to no one in particular. "But I think I recall it was nicer than this."

A small voice behind him laughed, and he turned, alarmed, to find Bellossom grinning at him. "Agreed. Shaymin and I have been too busy worrying about the show that we forgot about cleaning this place up."

"Couldn't Victreebel just, I dunno, eat all of this slime?"

"She just regurgitates everything back out, anyways," Bellossom countered. "It wouldn't be all that helpful." She raised a bucket and mop that Krokorok hadn't been able to see earlier, and released a sigh. "I thought I'd just clean it up to make things more bearable for the rest of the students here."

Krokorok glanced around uneasily, before moving towards the grass-type hesitantly. "Er… Do you want me to help you tidy this place up?"

"Oh," Bellossom managed to say, her voice muffled as she choked back on the smell of the mop. She seemed genuinely in awe and shock as she stared up at Krokorok. "While I truly do love the offer, don't you have a challenge to attend to…?"

Waving away her concern, Krokorok shrugged. "For all I know, this black slime could be the demonic Ditto in disguise. I think cleaning up would help a lot more."

"Did someone say _clean_?"

Krokorok and Bellossom urgently turned around to find Noctowl, her wings flapping intensely as she flew over to them.

"I'll help!" she chirped. "I'm fantastic at cleaning!"

"You _really_ don't have to do anything-"

Noctowl narrowed her eyes at Bellossom, silencing her. "Nonsense! It's important to clean the house."

"Yeah, because you don't want it to look suspicious when you hide the evidence," Krokorok quipped, earning a chuckle from Bellossom and a horrified glance from Noctowl.

 **0000**

" **I never realised how funny Krokorok could be," Bellossom admitted, holding her stomach to support herself from all that laughing. "He really knows how to make a Pokémon laugh!"**

 **0000**

"It must be some sort of d-demon!" Egg hissed, forcing his brothers to back away from the Popplio that lay calmly in Primarina's arms.

"Could it be the Ditto?" Ex suggested.

Tor growled at the brothers. "Whatever it is, it is a contamination! A piece of scum along Lord Magikarp's land!"

Then it was Primarina's turn to look startled.

"Magikarp?" she asked. "When in the world did you three become in allegiance with Magikarp?"

" _Do not say the Lord's name in vain_ ," all three hissed at once suddenly, their voices like harsh hisses that sliced through the air. As they spoke in unison, the rainbow band on their head began to glow, the soft smile from Ex's face and the worried eyes from Egg's all morphing to match the scowling face of Tor.

Primarina backed away from them. "You guys are being really, _really_ weird-"

The moment she said that, however, the Popplio in her arms began to hiss at the Egg Brothers, its glowing red eyes sharpening as it stared. Suddenly, the blue Pokémon began to liquidise into a purple blob before transforming into an Abra.

Seeing the Ditto transform into the Abra, the Egg Brothers were snapped out of the strange spell that had cast over them, all three of them returning to their regular selves.

"It's transformed into Abra!" Egg exclaimed.

Tor turned to snap at his brother. "Wow, are you Captain Obvious?"

"No…? I'm your brother-"

"I know, idiot! Quick, attack it!"

Ex halted them both from moving forwards, their legs skidding as they fought for dominance over the control of their limbs. "No!" Ex protested. "Never attack an Abra; try catching it instead! Have you never played they games? They always teleport after the first move-"

It was too late, though. The Abra, along with Primarina, had teleported out of the room.

 **0000**

" **Son of a bitch," Tor scowled at Ex. "Did you** _ **have**_ **to waste our time trying to break the fourth wall?"**

 **Ex's featured hardened. "Hey! My mother is not a son of a bitch! Yours is!"**

" **No, yours is!"**

" **GUYS!" Egg called out, panting. "We literally have the same mum!"**

 **0000**

"Too bad Pumpkaboo isn't here with us," Mimikyu murmured softly to Garchomp, who she was guarding the front door with. "She always knows how to make me feel less scared."

Garchomp grinned. "That, and we could probably hide behind her massive ego."

As Mimikyu gave the dragon-type a sceptical and tentative look, Garchomp waved her hand dismissively, her grin softening.

"Relax, I was kidding," she reassured her. "Don't worry; if the demonic Ditto shows up, I'm here to protect you."

Mimikyu made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper, her hand rocketing to her mouth with her fingers stretching to cover over the gaping hole her mouth had made as her jaw dropped. To Garchomp's horror, Mimikyu's eyes were riveted on a spot just over the dragon-type's shoulder.

"It's g-going to get us!" Mimikyu squealed.

Garchomp had seen enough horror movies to get the picture. If she was a small Gible, that picture would have been enough to make her want to bolt for the door, slip through it into the daylight, and keep running until she was back home, doors locked, safely under the bed, where she'd once hidden from imaginary monsters with her friend, Charmander, beside her, their hands entwined.

Instead, she turned around slowly.

To her surprise, she was met face to face with a Gible, its face glowing with admiration but its eyes glinting like a red flashlight beam.

With incredible speed, the Gible streaked across the room and kicked Mimikyu in the head, resulting in the small ghost-type crumpling to the ground.

"And then there were two," the Gible said with a bright, optimistic smile.

It never occurred to Garchomp that this Gible - who she was certain was a demonic Ditto - would be a child.

"You're my mummy, aren't you?" the Gible asked curiously, raising his eyes hopefully towards the Garchomp.

The older of the two remained speechless, unsure of how to react to being called a mummy.

"Are you going to let me go outside and play, Mummy?" Gible asked yet again, gesturing at the door that Garchomp was currently obstructing.

"You can't go out there."

"No?"

 _No, because you're a demonic Ditto who needs to be captured,_ Garchomp felt like scowling, but she restrained herself, keeping her anger on a tight leash and forcing herself to remain calm for once. She had to act intelligent; no more brash decisions for her.

So, instead, Garchomp smiled sweetly at the Gible.

"No, because you're not wearing sunscreen, Gible," Garchomp told him, patting the small Pokémon affectionately over the head. "I don't want you acquiring skin cancer from incidental sun rays."

"Please let me go, Mummy," Gible insisted, angling past Garchomp towards the door. Without thinking, Garchomp moved to block him, her scythe swinging up as she sliced a dangerous arc through the air that whistled past the Gible's ear.

Gible danced backwards, laughing as he lunged for Garchomp, fingers curled like claws. Garchomp felt it then, the adrenaline surge she'd been expecting, the clarity of battle. She stopped thinking in terms of techniques and moves, stopped thinking at all, and simply acted, blocking and ducking his attacks, aiming a kick at his ankles to sweep his legs out from under her, slashing her scythes across the Gible's skin.

Suddenly, though, Gible wrapped a hand around Garchomp's wrist in an iron grip, flipping her over onto her back as if she was the small child, and straddled her.

He'd been playing with her, Garchomp realised. Pretending to fight until he got bored.

For a moment, Garchomp felt ashamed for allowing that adrenaline rush to push the wit out of her mind yet again. That had always been her greatest weakness; allowing her instinct to take over her common sense.

"This is fun!" Gible chirped, jumping on Garchomp's stomach innocently, ignoring the agonising groans that Garchomp was releasing.

Garchomp was about to argue, when a scythe from behind Gible lashed out of the shadows and wrapped itself around Gible's neck. It yanked Gible off of his feet, and he landed hard, beginning to morph into purple sludge as its head cracked against the cement floor.

"Lurantis?" Garchomp called out in confusion as Lurantis charged at the Ditto, scythes gleaming.

She had never realised before what a crime it had been to never watch Lurantis in action; it was so clear how witty, yet merciless, he was in his natural slate. He was leaping through the air, carving death with his scythes, his eyes burning brightly as he moved about with swift and deadly purpose.

The Ditto recoiled from the danger immediately, slinking away before Lurantis had the chance to grab it. Within moments, the Ditto was gone.

"You're welcome," Lurantis finally smirked, extending his hand to Garchomp.

The dragon-type ignored it, rising to her feet without his help. "Why did you do that?"

"I was trying to help you."

"No, you weren't," Garchomp countered coldly.

Lurantis narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Garchomp. "You're upset at me."

"Yes."

"You're upset at me for saving your ass."

It wasn't until Lurantis pointed that out that Garchomp realised that she was angry at him for doing exactly that; she was angry at him for assuming that she _needed_ her ass saved, angry at him for hiding behind the shadows and waiting to save her from the beginning when he knew she was under pressure after Charizard's elimination. Every inch of her body wanted to reach out and strangle him, tell him that she knew everything about him and his manipulative ways.

With everything ounce of self-control she had, she held herself back. No, this was her way of having an upper hand. She could not let it go to futile waste. Calmly, she composed herself and eyed Lurantis was a knowing yet wicked smile.

"It's not your job to save my ass," Garchomp politely told him, though she was simmering with rage. "Nor was it ever your job to help me make up my mind about Pokémon like Vespiquen. I belong to myself, not you."

With deliberate calm, Lurantis examined his scythes. "Garchomp, I think you've mistaken me for someone who actually cares."

Without warning, he slipped out of the building, with Garchomp staring after him. At the sound of the door slamming shut, Mimikyu blinked her eyes open and woozily eased herself upright.

"We got the Ditto?" Mimikyu asked, catching sight of a small bit of purple sludge that remained to the side.

"Yeah," Garchomp replied wearily, her eyes never leaving the window where she could still see the silhouette of Lurantis. "You could sort of say that."

"Oh, yeah, that's right, breeder extraordinaire!" Mimikyu pumped her fist in the air. "You mess with a Kyogre, and we'll show you exactly why they call us the _Killer_ Kyogres!"

Her voice thick with amusement, Garchomp smiled down at the small Pokémon. "They call us Kinky Kyogres now, remember?"

 **0000**

" **I need to learn how to control all that anger and adrenaline," Garchomp confessed, pressing her head against her hands. "I need someone to help me. Someone who knows how to fight with wit, not instinct and strength. But who?"**

 **0000**

"I spy," Buneary started, "with my little eye, something that beings with the letter _G_."

"It's grime, isn't it?" Gastly replied as they wandered the school to look out for any demonic Dittos, both of them staring up thoughtfully into the darkness, which involved staring at the ceiling, which was unfortunate because the ceiling was gross. "It's always grime."

"Not so," Buneary insisted. "Once, it was mould."

Gastly winced. "I'm not sure we can really make the distinction between grime and mould, and I hate that we have to care about that."

"It wasn't grime, anyways."

Considering that for a moment, Gastly's eyes widened. "Is it a… Galvantula? Please tell me it's not a Galvantula." Instinctively, he floated closer to Buneary.

"It's not a Galvantula, but now that's all I will be able to think about," Buneary retorted exuberantly. "Are there any Galvantulas on this island? It seems like the kind of place where Shaymin would eradicate the Galvantulas."

"Would she, though?" Gastly asked. "Shaymin has her limitations."

"I don't think there are limitations on Galvantula eradicating."

Gastly nodded. "Okay, so they definitely got rid of them all. Must have. Oh, Arceus, this place _definitely_ has Galvantulas…" There was a faint tremor to his soft voice, and Buneary shook her head.

"Are there Galvantulas back where you live?" Buneary asked, trying to change the subject. "We have Pachirisus, back where I live. It's so weird. They are little thieves, I tell you. They can open doors. I heard that they even know how to use keys."

"I don't like Galvantulas. Galvantulas don't need keys."

Buneary gave Gastly a concerned look, incredulous over the fact that he still stressing about the Galvantulas, and snorted to see that he was actually grinning.

He had _actually_ made a joke about his own fear.

"So," Gastly said, clearing his throat as he proudly watched Buneary's face brighten. "What was it?"

"What was what?"

Gastly rolled his eyes playfully. "What did you spy that begins with _G_?"

"Gastly."

 **0000**

" **I'm starting to call this school: The School of Ultimate Moisture," Buneary decided. "It's a shame that the inhabitants on this island aren't slugs, because this building is set up perfectly for the slug life-style."**

 **0000**

"I think we should have a funeral," Haxorus stated, her voice trembling on the last word. "A proper one."

Froslass paused her movements and peered up at the boisterous dragon-type who was usually so verbacious. To her surprise, Haxorus was wiping away something that suspiciously resembled a tear.

"Are you… _crying_?" Froslass asked, baffled.

"Of course not," Haxorus snapped back, giving her eye another furious wipe.

Arching a brow, Froslass just stared.

"Well, in my defence," Haxorus added, sounding abashed, "death is a terrible thing. "It leaves a heartache that no one can heal. Even if some Pokémon say that death solves all problems, it's such a terrible thing, you know? You can't go out with your friends and eat ice-cream, and oh my Arceus, can you imagine how _horrible_ that would be? No more ice-cream! I would rather die! But death is so sad. Death is just a terrible thing. Which is why we should hold a funeral." She gave Froslass an emotional but determined stare.

"It's a dead rat," Froslass pointed out, though her voice was gentle and polite. "In the last hour, we've passed by at least twenty three of them."

"But it could have died such a sad and painful death!"

Froslass sighed. As the search for Ditto continued, the dust and grime had been beginning to take a toll on Haxorus' sanity, the dragon-type craving some sort of action or movement. Froslass had been understanding, letting the dragon-type babble on and on about ice-cream and roller-skating, but losing her calm over a rat with stiffening limbs? That was taking things too far.

"Since we've been naming all the other rats, we may as well give this one a name, too," Froslass sighed. "What would you like to name this one?"

"Can we name it Shaymin again?"

The pair exchanged a grin. For every rat they had encountered, they named if after their host, just because they felt like Shaymin represented a rat rather perfectly. Froslass smiled at the thought of Shaymin finding out about their rat names, imagining the gallingly cocky host's forehead flush with anger.

"Shaymin sounds like the perfect name."

 **0000**

 **Using a torn-off piece of tissue, Haxorus dropped the rat into her lap, stroking the dead animal solemnly.**

" **RIP, Shaymin the Twenty-Fourth."**

 **0000**

"Stunfisk!" Lucario called out as the silhouette of the ground-type appeared before him. He darted towards her, a radiant smile on his face. "I've been looking for you! Okay, so you remember that time I called you beastly? I would like to make up for-"

The ground-type shook her head, stopping him from continuing. "Lucario," she purred. "What a coincidence. I was looking for you, too."

"That's good, because-"

Lucario was once again halted as Stunfisk began to pucker her lips at him, batting her eyelashes as love hearts began to materialise around her.

"What the hell…?" Lucario managed to mutter, before love hearts replaced his eyes, and his frown spread into a wide grin.

Allowing the love hearts to vanish from the air, Stunfisk watched Lucario carefully, her eyes wide with surprise and fascination as she saw Lucario ogle her. Had attract really worked?

"Lucario?" she asked. "Am I pretty?"

With conviction, Lucario sighed dreamily. "More than pretty! You're _gorgeous_. Your golden eyes… Your slender eyebrows… Your glowing skin… You're a Goddess, Stunfisk!"

The way Lucario described her with such awe and astonishment made Stunfisk almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

But the effects of Attract would only last until the end of the day, so she had to make the best of it.

"How about you spend the rest of the day with me, Lucario?" she asked him with a wink. "How does that sound to you?"

Lucario beamed.

"I'd be honoured, my love!"

 **0000**

" **Why did I choose Lucario?" Stunfisk snorted, rolling her eyes dramatically. "There was no one else. Gastly is a ghost, so he is gross and practically dead, Lycanroc is gross and hairy, and Golisopod is treacherous and would sleep with your mum. They're all foul."**

 **She glanced thoughtfully out the window, snickering.**

" **Besides, it's about time I get him back for calling me** _ **beastly**_ **."**

 **0000**

"THERE IT IS!"

"ARGH! WHERE?"

" _THERE_."

Krokorok threw a bewildered glance at Noctowl. "OH, YEAH, BECAUSE THAT WILL HELP ME. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE _THERE_ IS."

The two of them, over the roaring of the vacuum cleaner, had no option but to yell at each other as a purple slug, most probably a Ditto, slinked around the room. Bellossom, her hands outstretched, was trying to calm both Noctowl and Krokorok down, but neither of them seemed to be calming down at any rate.

"I WILL VACUUM IT!" Noctowl declared, flying around frantically, the vacuum cleaner in her talons waving dangerously close to Krokorok's face.

Krokorok dodged the vacuum cleaner just in time, ducking behind Bellossom. "BE CAREFUL WITH THAT!"

"I'M TRYING TO CATCH A DITTO, HERE!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO MURDER US ALL!"

Bellossom rolled her eyes. "Guys…? If you could just remain calm and take a deep breath in-"

"SHIT! IT'S GETTING AWAY!"

"JUST VACUUM IT, FOR ARCEUS' SAKE!"

Exasperated, Bellossom moved over to Krokorok and clamped her hand over his mouth. "Be quiet! Screaming will not help!"

"But…"

"No buts!"

Meanwhile, Noctowl was still mercilessly flinging the vacuum cleaner around, swinging it as she tried to suck the purple blob. Seeing the sucker heading straight towards them, Krokorok pushed back Bellossom, both of them stepping and tripping over the mop behind them, landing directly in the bucket.

The metal bucket echoed their grunts as they fell into it, and Noctowl finally switched off the wretched vacuum cleaner.

"Damn," she sighed. "The Ditto got away. Sorry guys- guys?"

Her eyes widened as she saw Krokorok and Bellossom squirming in a constricted bucket, their limbs pressed against each other. They were both arguing with each other inside, their conversation muffled so that Noctowl could hardly hear anything. She craned her ears, trying to catch fragments their conversation.

"I said… butts!"

"But Noctowl…. Cleaning… sucking… butt!"

Frowning, Noctowl's eye twitched helplessly.

"Well," she finally said. "I'll leave you two butt-sucking lovers there, for now."

* * *

"Ditto!" Skitty shouted, pointing ahead of her where a small purple figure emerged, its features feigning innocence.

"After it," Shroomish called out, charging after it, barely manage to hobble very far on his feet.

Skitty plunged after him before surpassing him, and just as she was far ahead, she roared, "It's a trap!" Her voice was followed by her own shriek of pain, and Shroomish looked desperately around him, looking for some sort of way he could save her.

Just as he moved forwards, though, Noctowl came swooping towards him, the sound of a screeching vacuum cleaner pounding his ears.

"I HAVE GOT YOU NOW!" Noctowl was shouting over the cleaner, but she immediately halted as she saw that, just in front of the nozzle was Shroomish.

However, she had been flying too fast, and immediately, the nozzle managed to suck Shroomish into the vacuum cleaner, with the grass-type travelling through and clogging the tube.

"Shroomish?" Noctowl asked, horrified as the vacuum cleaner immediately switched itself off as Shroomish remained stuck within the tube. "I'm so sorry!"

"Arceus fucking dammit."

 **0000**

 **Shroomish spat out dust and small particles of rocks out of his mouth. "I'm so unlucky that if I evolved and got myself some legs, they would make the challenges 'Who can fit inside a vacuum cleaner?'"**

 **0000**

When Zoroark had first heard what the challenge entailed, she was certain it was going to be a rather easy challenge; find a Ditto, capture it.

It had turned out to be a lot more difficult than she had thought.

For one, finding the Ditto was an impossible task. The school, bless the poor students, was completely cloaked in darkness, with the lights weakly becoming swallowed by the shadows. The dust, slime and awful conditions made the entire place a pigsty, and nothing was organised.

And when she _did_ manage to find a Ditto, or some sort of Pokémon with red eyes, the Ditto would slip out of her grasp immediately, transforming into an Abra just so it could teleport out of her reach.

She was sick of it.

"At this point, I may as well disguise myself as a Ditto and allow someone to catch me," Zoroark huffed, pulling open yet another door. "Preferably someone on my team, so we could win this damned thing-"

She halted as she saw Primarina and Banette lying unconscious on the floor, with a small Ditto darting back and forth between them, transforming into a Shuppet and Popplio as it scampered across to each one.

Finally, the Ditto stopped transforming to stare up at Zorua.

"Do you want to be my mummy?"

Zoroark gulped.

* * *

"Lucario!" Stunfisk exclaimed, watching with horror as Lucario stepped on some sort of trap, where a cage clambered as it fell over him. "What are you doing?"

The fighting-type drank her in with his eyes; ever since the Attract had taken a toll on him, he had been acting completely insane. He would follow her with infatuated eyes, constantly battering her with praise as he insisted to carry her around. Just then, he had accidently stumbled over a trap, and dramatically threw Stunfisk into safety while the cage fell over him.

And the weird part was, he was too busy watching her with love-struck eyes to realise he was trapped.

Stunfisk felt her heart sink a little; she wanted him to be a little goofy in love, but she didn't want him to be _stupid_ in love.

"I'm looking at the most gorgeous Pokémon in the world," Lucario replied, sighing longingly as he watched her behind bars.

Stunfisk shook her head, beginning to feel the growing strain on her patience. "No, you're in a cage, doofus. What should you be doing?"

"I should be escaping my terrible captivity," he answered, before taking a step back from the cage door and winking at her. "But, you know… not if you want me to."

"What are you saying, Lucario?"

Lucario spread his hands. "I'm just saying, if you came all the way here to rescue me, my dear Stunfisk, I don't wish to appear ungrateful."

"No?" Stunfisk managed, startled. It seemed that infatuated Lucario was also into role-play of some sort.

"No, I'm the grateful type," Lucario firmly told her. "So, here I am, humbly awaiting rescue. I hope you can find some way to rescue me."

Stunfisk grinned playfully, beginning to ease into the scenario. "I think I could possibly rescue you."

"Oh, please!" Lucario begged. "I languished in prison, praying that someone brave and strong and babelicious would swoop in and save me! And here you came! Save me!"

"Brave and strong _and_ babelicious?" Stunfisk snorted back her laugh. "You don't ask for much."

Lucario nodded eagerly, his conviction growing. "You're what I need! You're my hero, Stunfisk. You represent everything this horrible world lacks: love, selflessness and honesty!"

Suddenly, Stunfisk felt herself deflate. She backed away from the cage, narrowing her eyes at Lucario. Was he really under the spell of attract? Or was he messing with her? She couldn't tell at that point, but that last remark had hit her straight in the chest.

It was as if he were mocking her.

But when she took a glance at him, his eyes were wide with innocence, completely mesmerised by her. What was he seeing behind those rose-coloured lens? Certainly not who she really was.

Espeon had been right. There were a dozen other options she could have taken that would have been better than this.

"I'm sorry, Lucario," she managed to mumble. "I can't save you."

"But _please_ , love!"

She took another glance at him, his persistent affection for her. It warmed her, yet made her feel so terribly cold all at once.

But some warmth was better than none at all.

So she shook away all her doubts and forced a grin.

"Of course, my dear. Goddess Stunfisk is here to rescue you with her babeliciousness!"

 **0000**

 **Absol blinked several times. "I dunno… I might be delusional… But I** _ **swear**_ **that I saw Lucario and Stunfisk role-playing."**

 **0000**

"That's not appropriate… Pumpkaboo…" Musharna murmured to her friend, Pumpkaboo.

"He likes it."

"Children like all sorts of things… They like sweets… and fire… and trying to stab things with knives…"

The little Munna in front of them was, in fact, holding a dagger very well, stabbing it into a nearby cushion, sending out a burst of feathers.

"Yay!" Munna cutely chirped, pointing at the feathers.

Musharna removed the dagger from the Musharna and replaced it with a pencil she had found nearby on one of the desks.

"Pencil," the baby Munna mumbled, tottering off across the room.

"Where did Munna even find the dagger…?" Musharna asked, casting a half-tired half-suspicious glance towards Pumpkaboo.

The pumpkin hardly looked sheepish as she admitted, "It is possible that I was carrying one around."

"Is it?"

"It is, yes," Pumpkaboo confirmed. "It's possible."

Musharna rolled her eyes. "And it's possible that he somehow got it from you, even though you would know to never give dangerous weapons to children…?"

"We live in a world of possibilities."

They watched the small Munna wander around the room, levitating its pencil with her. They had been looking around for a Ditto when, instead, they found this Munna trailing behind them, insisting that Musharna was his mother.

Musharna had been instantly sceptical, but Pumpkaboo had waved away any concerns. It was only a baby; what was the worst that could happen?

* * *

Absol trudged around the forest, sure that Espeon was somewhere around him. Incineroar had insisted that they paired up to explore the woods, seeing how well they had worked together when they had been climbing the mountain.

But Espeon was a genius that had worked out that Absol could not possibly control her. She went off for a wander in the woods to find a Ditto, with Absol behind her, pleading, threatening and offering bribes.

"Espeon? Can we head back?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

Espeon snickered. "Words aren't pretty."

"I swear to Arceus, Espeon, if you don't turn around immediately, I will-"

"You'll what? Release the squishies?"

"This isn't funny, you know!"

"That certainly explains why I'm not laughing."

Absol sighed, completely exasperated. "Come _on_! I'll pay you! I'll give you a Pecha berry!"

"Why would I need a Pecha berry?"

"Erm… It cures poison?"

There was a silence before Espeon spoke again.

"I think I'll be pretty safe from poison as long as I stay away from you."

 **0000**

 **Absol frowned. "Ouchies."**

 **0000**

"This baby is actually so freaking adorable!" Pumpkaboo squealed, squeezing the Munna's cheeks.

Still suspicious, Musharna watched the Pumpkaboo and Munna occasionally spar and nap and play all at once, her eyes narrowed. "Adorable? Nothing like you, then… Pumpkaboo…" she murmured with a small smile, already chuckling at the way Pumpkaboo's cheeks puffed out with frustration.

Before Pumpkaboo could defend her pride, Munna began to float towards Musharna, before giving the Musharna a hug.

"Hug," Munna chimed, hugging the elder evolution.

Pumpkaboo frowned. "No, baby Munna. Your honourable mother, Pumpkaboo, has just been impugned! Don't hug! Attack! Attack!"

The small Munna nodded enthusiastically, and before either Pumpkaboo or Musharna could stop him, he began to morph into a Ditto, using its sluggish body to drown Mushana in slime.

" _Shit_ ," Pumpkaboo cursed, rushing to Musharna's rescue as the Ditto began transforming into a Musharna itself.

But both Musharna and the faux Musharna were releasing loads of smoke into the air, barricading her vision. By the time the gas had cleared, both Musharna and the Ditto were gone.

* * *

"Aww, it's a baby!" Haxorus giddily chirped, plucking the Snorunt off the ground and into her arms. "It's so cute! Let's name it… Shaymin the Twenty-Fifth!"

Froslass stared wide-eyed at the Snorunt. "I was a Snorunt before and I _swear_ , they don't have red eyes." She rolled her eyes as Haxorus began bouncing the baby in the air, laughing as the Snorunt laughed with her. "And I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to bounce babies."

"But this baby loves it!" Haxorus claimed. "Babies love bouncing."

"Bouncing will make the baby spit up."

Haxorus frowned. "Bouncing will make the baby spit up with _joy_!"

Suddenly, the Snorunt snorted.

"I'm not a baby! I'm, like, two years old!" the Snorunt protested, before being bounced in the air again, beginning to spit up and choke on its own spit.

With a knowing smile, Froslass watched as the Snorunt began to dribble out some saliva. "Told you it would start to spit up."

To their horror, though, the spit was a faint purple, bubbling onto the ground as the Snorunt began to disintegrate into a purple blob.

"Ditto!" Froslass called out, watching as it slid out of Haxorus' arms. "Let's get it!"

"Ditto!" Haxorus agreed, before stopping and adding, "As in, me too. I think the same thing. You know, when people say ditto as a sort of way to say-"

Froslass wasn't listening though. Her brows creased with focus, she was chasing after the Ditto, following it into one of the rooms. Haxorus made an effort to chase after her, but the door slammed shut behind both Froslass and the Ditto, and Haxorus heard a lock click shut.

"Well, that sucks," Haxorus sighed. "Just when I thought I had him."

 **0000**

" **Babies are so, so cute!" Haxorus squealed, shaking with excitement. "They should be an antidepressant or something. How can anyone be in a bad mood with a baby? Unless you're the mother. And the baby screams and cries a lot. And makes you lose your sleep. And begs to be fed at early hours in the morning."**

 **She shuddered suddenly.**

" **Actually, babies sound awfully demonic."**

 **0000**

"I understand that you are upset, Lycanroc?" Magikarp asked, sounding awfully like a meditator.

Both the fish and the wolf were seated across from each other at what seemed to be the principal's office of the school, facing each other with determined glances.

Lycanroc slumped his shoulders. "I don't know, Lord Magikarp. I'm starting to think you like Exeggutor more than you like me-"

"Shhh, Lycanroc," Magikarp interrupted, hushing the wolf. " _For Lord Magikarp alone, oh your soul, wait in silence, for your hope comes from Lord Magikarp._ "

Closing his eyes, Lycanroc awaited further instructions from the fish.

"Good," Magikarp complemented, watching as the wolf stilled. " _Silence is a source of great strength_ , you know."

"I know," Lycanroc huffed. "I've read the Bible of Magikarp, my Lord. But what is that rainbow band you have given Exeggutor? Why can I not be trusted with it?"

Magikarp eyed the wolf carefully. "Listen to me, Lycanroc. Exeggutor is not on your level. You must follow my instructions, my son. Do not interfere with whatever business I have with Exeggutor. Leave it be. _I_ will deem who is worthy of what."

"Amen, my Lord."

"Also," Magikarp added, watching Lycanroc prop up to leave. "I think you should stop yelling about meat trains; it is getting repetitive. Try something a bit more different. How about… Galvantula Testicles?"

Lycanroc grinned, before his eyes suddenly became wild and hysterical.

"I am the Master of the Galvantula Testicles!"

* * *

"You look a bit overdressed," Salazzle remarked to Golisopod, though the arthropod wasn't wearing any clothes. "How about you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?"

Golisopod snarled at her. "Since we're talking about appearances today, wow! That's a lovely shade of ultra-bitch that you're wearing today."

"Hey, well, being a dick won't make yours any bigger-"

Salazzle went silent abruptly, staring down as they found Incineroar's body lying on the ground. He was unconscious. Just as they poked their comrade, they heard a hiss from behind them, and turned to find a Ditto watching them.

Without a thought, Golisopod ran at the Ditto, raising his arms. He turned around to call Salazzle, but when he glanced back, he saw that Salazzle already was darting behind him, eyes narrow with determined focus that always lay behind those sarcastic retorts.

Salazzle shot the Ditto with a Flame Burst, and the Ditto lurched, falling over sideways and twitching. With a brief nod at Golisopod, they raced towards the unconscious Ditto, through the trees, through the wind and the whispering, side by side until they reached it. Immediately, Golisopod held one of his long, sharp black claws to Ditto.

Feeling the sharpness of the nail, Ditto gasped.

"I didn't mean to scare you!" The Ditto cried out, its voice high and childish. "I was just trying to get back home to my mummies, and I saw you," he pointed at Salazzle, "and wanted to know whether you could be my mummy too!"

"Who's scared?" Golisopod whispered menacingly. "You didn't scare me. Are you scared?"

The Ditto puckered his mouth. "I'm not scared of anything!"

Salazzle looked like she was going to speak, but Golisopod cut her off.

"I'm glad you're not scared of anything," Golisopod snickered. "But if you come after Salazzle or any of my team members and ask them to be your mummy and I come to know of it, you will have a reason to be scared."

Before he had to chance to seize the Ditto, it scrambled away, turning into an Abra in the blink of an eye and teleporting away. Golisopod gave a frustrated sigh, and turned to face Salazzle, who was smirking.

"Poddie," she began, sounding unsettled but impressed. "That was terrifying."

"It's Golisopod, for Arceus' sake."

Salazzle sniffed. "No, I'm calling you Poddie for a little while, because you just displayed arcane power and saved me from motherhood and calling you Poddie makes me feel better."

Golisopod laughed shakily, and that made Salazzle smile for a moment.

"So, why did you get so protective when that Ditto came up?" Salazzle asked casually.

"Because he reminded me of Dragonite," Golisopod confessed, glancing up. "And how much work I need to do for him regarding that stupid Magikarp and the ever stone. I don't want to be reminded of how much I'm failing him."

Salazzle crooned teasingly. "Aww, Poddie misses Dragonie, does he? How sweet!"

"Shut up."

"Relax," Salazzle soothed, placing a hand on his arm. "You're probably overreacting. Magikarp is just… a Magikarp. What's the worst he can do? Splash you to another dimension?"

Golisopod gave her a pointed look. "He can win a million dollars from this show."

"Hardee har har," Salazzle teased, her eyes alive with enthusiasm. "The big buff Golisopod is worried about a fish. I can't say I blame you; considering how weak you are, that Magikarp's splash could probably do a great deal of damage to you, _Poddie_."

"Let's just go inside and get a Ditto," Golisopod grumbled, turning away from her.

 **0000**

 **Salazzle shrugged her shoulders. "It was nice of him to defend me like that, but that doesn't mean he isn't a jerk to me."**

 **Stretched her limbs, she wiggled her fingers.**

" **It's like… I want to strangle him, but then bake him a cake afterwards."**

 **0000**

The evening was drawing in and it was getting awfully cold for Absol, and Espeon had wandered off to Arceus-knows-where. After realising that there were probably no Dittos in the woods, he began to stagger back to the school, half of his limbs entirely numb.

"There you are," Espeon remarked as she stood right at the doorway, arching a brow as she saw Absol come into view. "I nearly assembled a search party to go looking for you."

"A search party?"

Espeon nodded. "A search party consisting of Lycanroc and Lycanroc only, of course."

"Aw," Absol smiled. "I'm touched that you care! That's very sweet of you, Espeon."

The psychic-type grimaced, forcing Absol to grin.

"Let me guess," Absol began. "In reality, you thought 'Nah, being left for dead in the middle of the woods to be mauled by Ursarings builds character.'"

"I was not concerned you were going to be eaten by Ursarings in the deep dark woods," Espeon remarked, rolling her eyes.

Absol scoffed. "Of course you weren't. That'd be absol-utely insane, seeing as there wouldn't even be Ursarings-"

"You had a stick to defend yourself."

His eyes widening marginally, Absol's face flushed. "My- my Ursaring _-killing_ stick? Do you really think me killing Ursarings with a stick is a plausible scenario? Wait, there are _Ursarings_ in that forest?!"

"See you inside," Espeon finally said, ignoring the dark-type's question as she marched on inside.

 **0000**

" **Are there Ursarings in the woods?" Absol repeated to himself. "It's a simple question. Why is Espeon so bad at simple questions?"**

 **0000**

Zoroark, Banette, Skitty, Primarina, Musharna and Froslass all stared at each other as they sat in a circle, with a Ditto in the middle of them all.

"This looks like some sort of Satanic ritual," Banette remarked. "Except… it looks like we're summoning a Ditto instead of Satan?"

Froslass arched her brow. "I dunno about that. It's eyes are red, and Shaymin did say they were demonic. So maybe it is Satan."

"Shhh!" Skitty hushed them, glancing fondly at the Ditto. "It's sleeping. Let him rest. It's just a child."

They all exchanged baffled glances.

"But why would he just call us 'mummy' and drag us into a room to watch him sleep?" Zoroark demanded. "It makes no sense!"

"Indeed…" Musharna began, her soft voice penetrating the air. "It seems to be a sort of trickster… And it enjoys it when we chase it around or spar with it… Its motives are unclear, but they seem to be one of a child…"

Primarina gasped. "If it's a child…"

The others turned to face her, Musharna beckoning for her to continue with an encouraging and knowing smile.

"If it's a child," Primarina continued. "It thinks it is playing a game. And, so far, it's been dragging women to this room. I think it wants… a mother."

* * *

"Get thee out of my sight!" Pumpkaboo demanded, trying to hobble past Lycanroc. "I have a Musharna to save!"

Lycanroc threw her a dirty look. "The fence cannot be fenced!"

"I'll show you who can fence-"

Incineroar burst into the room, with Golisopod and Salazzle trailing behind him. "Lycanroc! Why are you speaking to the enemy?" he demanded, gesturing at Pumpkaboo.

"The enemy was speaking to me!" the wolf insisted, but he was cut off by another voice.

"Alright, everyone," Meowstic began, barging through the window with Ribombee behind him. "Funny joke, but where are you hiding Banette?"

Pumpkaboo's jaw dropped. "Banette is gone too?"

"Yeah," Ribombee told her. "One moment she was on Meowstic's bed, the next she was screaming and poof!"

"Arceus, you make it sound like Meowstic did something really scandalous to her," Salazzle muttered under her breath.

Golisopod gave her a disgusted look. "You and your disgusting mind."

"You and your disgusting obsession with toenails-"

"Make way for the beautiful Stunfisk with her sixty elephants, llamas galore, bears and lions, a brass band and more, with forty fakirs, her cooks, her bakers, her birds that warble on key; make way for Stunfisk my queen!" Lucario bursts through the door, singing with Stunfisk in his arms, who was blushing but also cringing slightly.

Buneary, who had just walked into the room with Absol behind her, rolled her eyes. "Dude, the Disney challenge was like, a month ago."

"Let him be," Gastly told her. "Some Pokémon just don't want to grow up-"

"Did you just talk back to me?" Buneary retorted, her jaw dropping. "Did Gastly manage to talk to me and _not_ stammer? My, it must be freezing in hell!"

Stunfisk cast them an exasperated look. "Yes, and my sweet Lucario is grown up and mature now. Look how well he is caressing me!" At that moment, Lucario caressed her somewhat robotically, with a goofy grin on his face.

"Er, guys?" A voice chimed in from the door, and in came Noctowl carrying both a bucket and a vacuum cleaner. From the bucket, Bellossom and Krokorok's legs could be seen flailing around, and the vacuum cleaner tube seemed clogged with some massive object.

"What is it, Noctowl?" Gastly and Buneary asked in unison, startling each other.

Noctowl glanced down sheepishly at her possessions. "Um… So I accidently got Bellossom and Krokorok stuck together in a bucket and they're arguing about butts of some sort, and Shroomish is stuck in my vacuum cleaner talking about legs to himself."

"Ooomph!" Bellossom, Krokorok and Shroomish all seemed to cry out, their voices muffled by the constricted space.

"Did you catch a Ditto with it as well?" Haxorus suddenly asked, climbing through a window into the large dining room. "Because that'd be great, you know. Because the more Dittos we have, the more likely we will win this challenge and beat the Killer Kyogres. Or is it Kinky Kyogres? I feel like the author herself still hasn't really made up her mind about that, but I can't know that for sure-"

Ribombee covered his ears with his hands. "Too… m-much… noise and chaos!"

"You don't say," Garchomp muttered, strolling into the room. "Why is there so much chaos here? What the hell is going on?"

"Did someone say hell?" Mimikyu chirped, her voice barely heard over the chaos around the room. "Who? What? Where? When?"

Garchomp patted the Mimikyu. "We're already in hell, Mimikyu. Right now."

"Eeeeeek!"

"Wait, no, I'm kidding-" But before Garchomp could finish, the ghost-type had collapsed into her arms. Shaking her head, Garchomp plucked her from the ground. "Am I _really_ that bad at jokes?"

Espeon's eye twitched as she entered the room, watching the hysteria and chaos as everyone argued with each other. "What the fuck?"

"Language!" Absol called out to her. "Don't grow up to become like-"

"Absol, for the last goddamn time, I am _not_ your son!"

Meowstic furrowed his brows. "What is with everyone and the Disney Challenge today?"

"And, wait, where is Froslass?" Gastly asked, his eyes scanning the room. Buneary frowned as she heard him speak.

The bunny turned to face him, eyes narrowed. "She's probably looking for Ditto. Why are you so worried?"

"No, she's not!" Haxorus cried out. "She was kidnapped by a Ditto!"

A few gasps echoed around the room.

"So was Banette!"

"And Zoroark!"

"And Musharna!"

"And Skitty!"

At that moment, Exeggutor burst into the room.

"And Primarina!" Ex offered.

Tor snickered. "Bitch deserved it."

"I thought we a-agreed never to use that word again!" Egg protested.

"When?"

"After you called our mum a bitch!"

Lurantis strolled into the room, watching the chaos ensue with an observant eye. Everyone seemed to be going off on their own hysterical theories and tangents, not once bothering to remember what the challenge had really entailed.

As he leaned against the wall, he felt someone approach his side, and grinned to find Magikarp watching him.

"Lurantis," Magikarp began. "It seems you have much to say."

"I do," Lurantis responded, eyeing the fish with interest. "But they all seem rather engaged in their own affairs and it would be incredibly impolite of me to intrude."

Magikarp turned away. "Let me handle this."

The fish bounced onto a nearby table, flopping helplessly until he reached the very centre. After a moment of watching the room, he cleared his throat.

" _The Lord got up and gave orders to the wind, and he said to the lake, "Silence! Be still!" The wind settled down and there was a great calm."_

All the the twenty-two contestants in the room turned to stare at him, baffled by the sudden bible verse. After a moment, Lurantis stepped onto the table.

"Good evening, fellow campers," Lurantis politely greeted, his lip twisted into a grin. "Thank you for silencing yourself. You see, it is much easier to communicate to each other when we're actually listening."

"What's up, Lurantis?" Haxorus asked. "Oh, wait! I know! The ceiling! Get it?"

Though Haxorus laughed at the joke, the gentle laughter quickly died down as Lurantis stared at her.

"I would just like everyone to speak to each other in a civilised manner as we work out the mystery regarding the disappearing Pokémon and the Ditto that still hasn't been caught."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Meowstic huffed. "You're saying that _no one_ has caught a Ditto yet?"

"Yes," Lurantis responded patiently. "And you would have realised that sooner if all of you didn't have your heads stuck up your ass."

Noctowl sighed. "I just… don't get any of this. Why is everyone disappearing? And why can't anyone catch any Dittos?"

"It's simple," Lurantis pointed out. "First of all, who has encountered a Ditto at all?" Several Pokémon around the room raised their hands. "Okay, so tell me, what did the Ditto act like, and what time did you approximately encounter the Ditto?"

Though the rest of the cast was all completely baffled by this, they all answered the questions.

"Childish, and as soon as we entered the house."

"Yeah, childish and playful - maybe about an hour after we came in."

"Midday. It was so weird; he was being such a kid."

"I think we saw it at about… in the afternoon? And yeah, he wanted me to be his mummy."

The room went back to hushed silence, all of them staring at Lurantis as if he were the conductor and they were the musicians awaiting for his gestures.

"So," Lurantis said. "We've established that none of us have seen a Ditto at the same time. In fact, the number of Dittos around the room seems scarce. That, and the Dittos we _did_ manage to find had the exact same personalities: childish, attention-seeking and playful. Correct?"

"Correct," they all replied,the room rumbling as they spoke in unison.

Lurantis grinned. "The only plausible reasoning for this is that there is only one Ditto in this school."

" _One_?" Buneary snickered. "That's impossible. How could there only be one? When Shaymin was telling us the challenge, she used the plural; she said demonic Ditto _s_. If there was one, she would have just said that there was one Ditto and whoever caught the Ditto wins."

"Yes," Lurantis agreed. "But, remember, Shaymin said that _Manaphy_ had placed the Dittos into this school without her consent. Obviously, Shaymin had no idea how many Dittos were actually lurking in this school, nor did she bother to find out."

Absol tilted his head to the side. "Okay, so we get it, there's one Ditto. But what about everyone disappearing? Why is this Ditto stealing our teammates and where is he taking them?"

"Let's start with _who_ this Ditto is," Lurantis told him. "From what we've gathered, this Ditto is childlike and playful. Also, Manaphy had placed this Ditto in a school; perhaps she is telling us a message that this Ditto _is_ a child. And if we look at all the Pokémon he has so-called 'kidnapped', they're all females. And when he kidnapped them, he transformed into the baby evolution of them before doing so, did he not?"

There were murmurs of agreement scattered around the room.

"That leads me to believe," Lurantis started dramatically, his head panning the room. "That this Ditto is looking for a mother."

There was a silence in the room for a moment.

"So… What do we do about it?" Garchomp asked. "Find some new female Pokémon to offer herself up to be his mum as a sort of bait?"

Everyone turned to stare at Garchomp. Lurantis, in particular, was staring her down, his eyes sparkling.

"That," he said, "is _exactly_ what I had in mind."

 **00000**

 **Lurantis nodded his slowly. "I think I'm beginning to admire Garchomp. She's getting smarter."**

 **0000**

" **Fuck me," Garchomp groaned, burying her face in her arms as she took a final glance at the milk bottle and apron that everyone was forcing her to carry. "I think I'm getting dumber."**

 **0000**

The twenty-two of them had decided to all work together, dismissing the whole Groudon and Kyogre division to form one big team of Ditto Hunters. After some debate, they had decided that they would all trap Ditto in one room, and whoever managed to knock the Pokémon unconscious would win for their team.

"That was really clever of you, Lurantis," Mimikyu praised shyly. "How did you work that out?"

Lurantis smiled down at her, almost sympathetically. "It was all about working out who the Ditto was and what it wanted. There is always a reason for everything."

Nodding and somewhat in a daze, Mimikyu trailed away, with Lurantis watching her with a snarl pulling on his lips.

"A reason for everything, hey?"

Lurantis turned on his heel to face Garchomp, who was smiling at him. "Garchomp," he said, eyes narrowing suspiciously as he faced her.

"What's your reason, Lurantis?"

"My reason for what?"

Garchomp made an exasperated face. "Your reason for being who you are."

Snorting, Lurantis waved his scythe lightly, though his features hardened. "Why should I tell you?"

"We're friends, aren't we?" Garchomp insisted, taking a step forwards. With a smirk, she added, "Or, at least reluctant acquaintances. I think I deserve to know more about you. You already know _so much_ about me, since we've been spending a few of the challenges together. But how do I know that I can trust you as a friend, and perhaps, an alliance partner?"

"This is a new side to you, Garchomp," Lurantis mused, arching his brow. "What do you want to know?"

Shrugging, Garchomp looked innocent as she spoke. "Oh, just normal things," she explained. "What were you like as a kid? When you were as small as that Ditto, what did you want in life?"

"Sunshine, happiness and rainbows," Lurantis snickered. "Just like every other kid."

"And did you ever get it?"

Lurantis kept his face blank. "I grew up in the mafia."

"So?"

"If you were to smile at anybody, or even saved someone or gave pity to someone who simple didn't deserve it, you were beaten," Lurantis told her, his lazy drawl replaced with a bitter, harsh scowl. "You were conditioned to act a certain way, and there was no way around it."

The dragon-type tossed the grass-type a sceptical look. "What are you trying to tell me, Lurantis?"

"I'm merely answering your question, Garchomp," Lurantis retorted. "There is a reason for everything; and sometimes, that reason is that you never had a choice."

An awkward silence ensued between them, and Lurantis finally gave a pointed look towards the apron that Garchomp was wearing.

"Now, don't you have a baby to seduce?"

* * *

"Here, tootsie wootsie," Garchomp called out, trying to keep her voice as high and chirpy as possible despite her every urge to growl. "My little fudge cake? Where are you?" She waved the rattle in her hand frantically, her eye twitching as several Pokémon in the room snorted at her. They were all hiding inside cupboards or under the table, waiting for Ditto to enter the room. So far, there was not a sign of him.

"You obviously don't sound motherly enough," Pumpkaboo chided, resulting in the rattle being thrown straight at her. "Why, the disrespect here is just so appalling-"

The door suddenly creaked open, and tentatively, a Gible with red eyes slipped through the door crack.

"Mummy?" Gible asked hopefully, glancing up at Garchomp.

Extending her arms, Garchomp nodded her head eagerly. "Yes, come to me, my child-"

"COME HERE, YOUNG TENTACLE!" Lycanroc shrieked, jumping out from behind the curtains and lunging straight towards the Ditto. Scowling, Garchomp pushed him aside, but all the other Pokémon had jumped out of their hiding spots, beginning to scramble towards the Ditto.

The room burst into hysterics, with Pokémon crawling over one another, throwing vases and chairs mercilessly. As Mimikyu stood on the table, reaching out for the Gible, Espeon grabbed the tablecloth with her teeth and pulled it off dramatically, sending Mimikyu flying into the air.

The small ghost-type hurtled straight into Noctowl, and the two of them fell straight to the ground in a heaped mess, beside the bucket and vacuum cleaner.

" _Now, Exeggutor_ ," Magikarp commanded, but the Egg Brothers were already completely engaged in a brawl with Golisopod, who was reaching for the band on their head.

"Give me that band!" Golisopod demanded. "I want to know what it does!"

Tor growled. "Never!"

"Maybe," Egg said simultaneously. "If you ask politely, maybe?"

Ex and Tor both glared at their brother. "NO!"

"Poddie!" Salazzle called out condescendingly. "Are you delusional? We're after a Ditto, not Exeggutor!"

"I mean, it could be a Ditto in disguise of Exeggutor," Absol defended, nudging the tube of the vacuum cleaner beside him. "What do you say, Shroomish?"

The bundle inside the tube rattled a bit on the inside as Shroomish groaned. "Oomph!"

Buneary and Gastly stood by the door, guarding it to ensure that the Ditto would not leave; if the Ditto were to transform into a Pokémon that could use teleport, Gastly was to use the move 'Mean Look' to prevent it from teleporting.

At that point, however, the Ditto was being held tightly by Incineroar, but using its sluggish body, slipped out immediately. Buneary's eyes were greedily eyeing the scene in front of them, her limbs twitching.

"Screw guarding the door," she scowled. "I want some action! Let's go and kick some Ditto butt, Gastly!"

Her friend cast her a baffled look. "Wait, but we've been told to guard the door. We can't just abandon our duty."

"Our duty is to catch the Ditto!"

"Our duty is to guard the door so that the Ditto can't escape, as it has been doing for the past seven hours or so!"

They glared at each other, Buneary flinching back slightly when she realised that, for once, Gastly was not being so submissive. After clearing her throat, she once again repeated, "Gastly, come with me and help me grab this Ditto."

"No."

" _What_?"

"I said _no_."

Buneary frowned stubbornly, her snarl reflected on Gastly's face as he returned the glare.

"Buneary! Gastly!" Haxorus bellowed. "Be wary! The Ditto is getting to the door!"

The pair ignored the dragon-type.

"I finally get it," Gastly began, somewhat excitedly. "I get it!"

Buneary arched a brow. "Get what?"

"Why my mother had given me a condom!"

"Gastly, there is really only one real purpose for a condom-"

The ghost-type hushed her immediately. "No! She gave it to me as a warning! Because Mummy knows best!"

"You're not making any sense to me," Buneary remarked, beginning to turn away towards the Ditto. Gastly grabbed for her.

"No!" he called out. "Listen to me, for once! The condom… it's you! You felt like protection, to me. Clingy and tight, but still protection nonetheless. Protection… Safety… you know. But it also stopped me from… releasing myself?" He winced as he said it, but even he could not stop himself from blabbering. "Because even though protection is good, protection can mean obstruction!"

Buneary's jaw dropped. "Did you just call me a _condom_?"

"Yes, well, no-"

" _Guys_!" Incineroar roared. "The Ditto! It's coming towards you! Make sure the door is locked!"

The purple slug was sliding over towards the door, swiftly evading each attack that was thrown at it, or moving aside to avoid the constant tackles and grabs from the members around the room. Buneary, however, was too focused on the ghost-type in front of her to care.

"That's gross, Gastly," she spat. "That's fucking _gross_."

"But, Buneary-"

The bunny had already turned around completely, her face bright red with fury as she shoved open the door and stormed out. As soon as the door had burst open, the Ditto burst into childish and hysterical laughter, slipping after Buneary.

"FREEDOM!" Ditto screeched, escaping through the open door.

The twenty contestants around the room all turned to glare at Gastly, who smiled sheepishly.

"Um… Sorry?"

 **0000**

" **I can't believe it!" Incineroar exclaimed. "They literally had one job and they failed.** _ **One job**_ **."**

 **0000**

 **Meowstic winced. "I think I sort of liked Gastly better when he didn't talk so much. What did he say? 'Releasing myself' while talking about condoms? That just didn't come - or should I say cum? - out right."**

 **0000**

"Get back here, you infernal beast!" Pumpkaboo cried out, hobbling through the door behind all the other contestants as they tried to hunt down the Ditto. They had all cast Gastly dirty glances as they walked past, and the poor ghost-type had nothing to do but look down at his feet in shame as he trailed behind them, wondering where in the world Buneary could possible have run off to.

The rest of the cast relentlessly turned over every piece of furniture in a hunt for the missing Ditto, scavenging around the plethora of dead rats and black slime until Haxorus beckoned them towards a door.

"This is the door that Froslass chased Ditto into, and the door locked immediately after!" she informed them, her voice hushed down to a furious whisper as she jerked a finger towards the door. "But we'll need someone to pick the lock-"

"I'm on it," Stunfisk quickly said, moving towards the door and working on the lock with intensity.

Lucario beamed at her. "Oh, isn't she beautiful when she unpicks things?" he boasted, sighing dreamily as the lock sounded a satisfying click and ignoring the startled looks his team members threw him.

Stunfisk pushed the door open, expecting to see a Ditto sitting in the middle of the room, feigning innocence. But when she opened the door, she found a scene of absolute chaos.

Every single one of the missing girls were in there, each one of them causing enough noise for ten. Skitty and Banette were there, calling out to each other from across the room with booming voices. Primarina was holding a battle and appeared to be waving it around, giving a speech. Froslass was standing on top of a stool for no reason in the world and Musharna was, even more mysteriously, lying flat on the stone floor. Zoroark was standing amongst them all, looking at Stunfisk as if she were puzzled by her presence there as well.

And in the middle of the room was Ditto, squirming happily as he looked at his six mothers.

"Look what I found everyone," Stunfisk drawled, smirking as she opened the door completely.

"GET HIM!" They all shrieked, beginning to lunge forwards, but Primarina jumped in front of Ditto protectiely.

"NO!" she yelled back. "He's just a baby!"

Everyone exchanged desperate and furious glances. Finally, Golisopod stepped forwards, "I swear to Arceus, Primarina, if you don't-"

"Guys," Garchomp quickly said, pushing Golisopod back gently. "Be a bit… nicer, will you?"

"That's rich, coming from you," Salazzle remarked, but Garchomp ignored her.

Placing a hand gently on Primarina's shoulder, Garchomp sighed. "Look, I know Ditto is a child, but this challenge requires us to have captured him; otherwise Shaymin will leave us in here all day."

"But we can't just capture him and leave Shaymin to secure his fate!" Primarina insisted. "Who knows what she would do with the poor child-"

"I know, I know," Garchomp reassured her. "Which is why we will all ensure that Bellossom is the one who is given Ditto once the challenge is over. Besides, Shaymin is probably too cowardly to go near the Ditto in the first place. She'll end up making Bellossom deal with him, and we all know Bellossom wouldn't hurt a child."

Primarina bit her lip, giving Garchomp a sceptical look. "Promise?"

"I promise." Garchomp raised her hand to her heart.

"Fine," Primarina sighed, turning to look at the Ditto behind her. "Ditto? Do you want to play a game? I… found a toy for you. I found a puzzle at the back of the room. Come play with me."

The Ditto watched Primarina in silence as she moved over to the corner of the room, pulling out a puzzle from the cupboard.

"My puzzle is wonderful," Primarina went on, her voice shaking. "It is very small."

"Very small?" Ditto asked curiously, beginning to nudge his way towards Primarina.

Following Zoroark and Musharna's gestures, the rest of the cast were backed into the doorway to give Primarina and the Ditto some space, who were too focused moving the pieces of the puzzle to their designated spots to pay any attention to the Pokémon ogling them.

Primarina and the Ditto finally fixed up the puzzle, and Primarina offered Ditto a supportive grin.

"Now we will play a new game," Primarina instructed, fixing her gaze carefully on the Ditto.

Ditto turned towards Primarina, his eyes entirely red. "No. We play puzzle."

"You must close your eyes, Ditto. It is a very good game. We are going to hide."

"Hide?"

"Yes. We shall play hide-and-seek. But, first, you must close your eyes."

Ditto smiled. "I like to hide."

"But first you must seek. Close your eyes."

The red-eyed Ditto, smaller than most and barely two years of age in appearance and maturity, closed his eyes.

And as he did, Garchomp brought the apron down on him, wrapping him up in the cloth until he was secured inside the bundle.

Shaymin's voice immediately echoed around the room.

"And the Kinky Kyogres win today's challenge! Bellossom! Eradicate the Ditto!"

 **0000**

 **Bellossom stared at the bundle in her hand, jerking back slightly as a small purple head popped out from beneath the material.**

" **Mummy!" The Ditto called out, before transforming into an Oddish.**

" **Aww," Bellossom cooed. "How could I ever get rid of this sweet thing?"**

 **0000**

"Well, Groudons," Shaymin started, standing by herself on the podium. Bellossom, who had been in charge of eradicating the Ditto, was nowhere to be seen, to the hosts dismay. Instead, Shaymin was left balancing a tray of flowers over her head as she attempted to read out the list. "Looks like you're up for elimination again!"

Most of the Groudons immediately turned to glare at both Gastly and Buneary, who were perched on opposite ends of the area, avoiding eye contact.

"Bellossom isn't here, and I don't want to kick the flowers again, so you're just going to have to get your asses up and pick them up if I call your name," Shaymin told them. "Okay? Good."

She cleared her throat.

"Safe from elimination today are… Froslass, Skitty, Shroomish, Stunfisk, Krokorok, Salazzle, Absol, Noctowl, Espeon, Haxorus, Golisopod and Incineroar."

Each contestants went up to take their own flower, except Shroomish, who was still covered with dust from the vacuum cleaner and could not lift up a flower for himself. Instead, Noctowl lifted one up for him, and they moved to the side.

"Gastly and Buneary; you guys totally screwed up in your task today, didn't you? A lovers feud in the midst of a challenge isn't good. Even Stunfisk somehow managed to be helpful!"

"More helpful than you will ever be, Shaymin," Stunfisk called out.

Shaymin ignored her. "As for Lycanroc? You're kind of batshit crazy. There's no sugarcoating that. But, apparently, so is everyone else because you're _still_ in! With only one vote, get yourself a Gracidea flower!"

"I would like to thank the meat train, the testicles of the-"

"Save the speech for when you win, Lycanroc," Shaymin snapped, tapping her foot impatiently as Lycanroc leapt to the side. "Now, let's see, Buneary and Gastly. Two best friends left together. And while one of you voted for Lycanroc, the other one wasn't so forgiving."

Gastly gasped, looking up to Buneary with a look of hurt. "You voted for _me_?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, you-"

"Oh, shut up," Shaymin interrupted rolling eyes. "Okay, you both were told specifically to guard the door. Buneary was the one who had opened the door in the first place, allowing the Ditto to leave. So I suppose it's natural that Buneary would be eliminated."

Sighing, Buneary stood up, already turning away from everyone else. "I better get packing, then-"

"PSYCH! Gastly is the one who has received the most votes! So, Buneary, you're still in!"

Even Buneary seemed stunned. "Wha…?"

"Sorry," Absol apologised to Gastly. "But Buneary, no offense, is a better player than you and we kind of need her on our team a bit longer; you know, she has hands and legs and a competitive streak. But if you stayed… she wouldn't be nearly as helpful. We just wanted to end the drama before it turned into… you know…"

"Just say it," Stunfisk groaned. "I get it; the whole men are bastards thing. Whatever."

Shaymin offered a sympathetic smile to Gastly, who seemed too startled to move. "If it makes you feel better, dude, you should know that you only had two more votes than Buneary."

"Oh," Gastly said, finally recovering from his shock. "No, it's okay. I'm fine. I'm just gonna miss this place… you know?"

 **0000**

" **Wow," Gastly began, sighing. "It's been pretty fun. I mean, I don't scream every time I see Incineroar now, which is nice, and Buneary liked my cooking before she and I, well- oh well. Even though she voted for me, I hope she wins; because she can be a lot more fun when she wants to be. Her, or Froslass, because she's really nice too."**

 **0000**

Gastly sighed as his boat pulled up, turning to give one final solemn look at the island. As he turned, his breath caught in his throat as he found Buneary watching him from the other end of the dock. Without another word, she turned on her heel and strode away.

Hurrying after her, Gastly reached out to grab her shoulder, but then thought better of it. Grabbing Buneary from behind was probably an invitation to amputation.

"Buneary," he called sharply. She sped up. So did he, wondering where she was heading towards. "Buneary," he repeated as they walked further, borrowing deeper into the woods, the air thick with damp and mold, the moss on the ground increasingly slick beneath their feet. They hit a fork, the path branching off to the left and right, and she paused before choosing the one on the left.

"We don't go down this one to train, usually," Gastly recalled, hoping that she would say something - anything - to him.

Nothing.

"Mostly because of the fact that Victreebel's mansion is around there," he added.

Buneary kept walking, slower now, picking her way carefully over seeping puddles of slime. Something skittered loudly overhead, but she didn't flinch.

"Also because of the Galvantulas," he added jokingly.

Buneary breathed a heavy sigh.

"Come on, Bun-Bun, hold up."

Instantly, she spun around to face him. "Don't call me that," she hissed.

"What?"

"My friends call me Bun-Bun," she told him. "You lost that right."

"Bun-Bun - no, Buneary, I mean - if you just listen to me-"

She only glared at him. "No. You don't call me Bun-Bun, you don't try to talk to me, you don't call me a condom, you don't follow me into dark woods and try to save me from Galvantulas."

"Trust me, if we see a Galvantula, it's every man for himself."

Hearing him make an attempt at a joke, Buneary scowled, looking as if she wanted to feed him to a Galvantula herself.

"Okay!" Gastly sighed. "I get that you're mad at me, but-"

She shook her head. "You _don't_ get it. I'm not mad at you. I can't bring myself to _be_ mad; that's what is making me angry. I'm not anything to you, Gastly. I don't know what to feel. Because even if you humiliated me in front of everyone else, I just can't hate someone who was beginning to love."

Gastly couldn't quite catch his breath.

"Okay." It was the only thing he could say that wouldn't sound forced out, but Buneary was already walking on down the woods. "You're going the wrong way!" he called after her.

Without turning back, she called out to him.

"They're all wrong."

* * *

"Wait, you _what_?"

Stunfisk laughed at Skitty's gawking face. "I know! I used Attract on him, and he followed me around like some lost puppy-dog _all day_! It was glorious!"

Her mouth still agape with shock, the sparkle that was usually in Skitty's eyes had dimmed. "You _manipulated_ him using Attract? And now he thinks he's in _love_ with you?"

"Yes! Isn't it hilarious?"

"No," Skitty sharply replied, frowning. "That's kinda… cruel."

Stunfisk rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. The effects only last until he goes to sleep. He'll forget about it tomorrow; it's not for life."

"So you won't do it ever again?"

"No," Stunfisk snorted. "I'd love to do it again! It was so much fun! I've never felt so pampered in my life before."

Skitty abruptly sat up in bed. "No! Don't you _dare_ do it again. I don't mean to sound rude, but that's just awful. Poor guy doesn't even know. He's living a lie, Stunfisk. _You_ 're living a lie."

"You're so sensitive, Skitty," Stunfisk sighed with a _tsk_. "Why must you always be so sensitive?"

"You're so terrible, Stunfisk," Skitty retorted, only half-joking. "Why must you always be so terrible?"

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk looked down, unable to face the camera. "I just wanted to be liked. I just wanted to be funny!"**

 **With a frown, she finally raised her eyes.**

" **Looks like the joke is on me."**

 **0000**

Banette held her breath as she knelt down in the shrub of bushes, watching with narrowed eyes as Exeggutor stalked over to the clearing in the woods. After a moment of bickering amongst each other, they immediately went silent as soon as Magikarp appeared, bouncing on the ground.

She could hardly hear their conversation, but as she crept closer to hear, the Egg Brothers immediately perked their heads up.

"I hear someone, guys," Ex told them, eyeing the area suspiciously.

"Is i-it the zombies?" Egg asked.

Tor snarled at them. "Don't be cowards. Whoever is watching will face the wrath of Lord Magikarp."

"They will indeed," Magikarp smirked. "And I'm glad you heard; it seem the band on your head really is working with its heightening sense abilities."

Banette's eyes widened as she heard the final few words, but before she could process the thought, she saw the Egg Brothers marching towards the bush she was behind.

Without another word, she immediately fled from the area, using her ghost abilities to sneak through without making a sound.

 **0000**

" **Heightened sense? Walking on walls?" Banette asked herself, clutching her head.**

 **She narrowed her eyes.**

" **They're** _ **cheating**_ **!"**

 **0000**

Clenching her fists into tight balls, Garchomp knocked on the door in front of her, her body tense as she waited for someone to respond. After four long minutes of waiting in the cold wind that seemed to bite her skin, the door was finally opened to reveal Espeon.

"Hey, Espeon," Garchomp greeted somewhat awkwardly. "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment."

Espeon arched a brow, her features bored rigid. "Talk, then."

Peering into the room, Garchomp shook her head as she saw both Froslass and Buneary watching her from their beds. "No. I want to talk to you _alone_."

"People will say we're in love," Espeon mused. "What do you need?"

"I need your help."

Once again, Espeon's face lit up with amusement. "It seems like everyone is coming to me for help these days." Seeing Garchomp give her a sceptical look, Espeon shrugged. "Don't worry. Someone this morning was having boy problems."

"I'm not here for boy problems," Garchomp confessed. "I need help talking down someone. Someone who is, not going to lie, smarter than me."

"Battle them," Espeon snickered. "That seems to be your go-to solution. Well, at least it was with Vespiquen-"

Garchomp immediately shook her head. "Vespiquen was a mistake. I'm not making another mistake again. I need to take this person down."

"And what's in this for me?"

"One less threat to deal with."

Espeon tilted her head to the side.

"You don't have to physically do anything to the person," Garchomp clarified hastily. "I just need your help. You're smart, and maybe you can help me think outside the box more. Please."

Her eyes hard and analytical, Espeon watched the dragon-type for a moment, before grinning lazily.

"Let's play a game of chess."

* * *

 **Tomato Soup: Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed the chapter; it was definitely a bit of a breather compared to the intensity of the last chapter, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Thank you so much jalengu02 for submitting Gastly (who I think I accidently spelt as Ghastly several times RIP sorry). He was a pleasure to write! EVERYONE PLEASE REMEMBER BABY LIL DITTO! He will become important later! What else is there to say? Garchomp is getting better, hoorah! No more pelting others with rocks. Which is, you know, nice. I hope you enjoyed! And what did everyone think of Stunfisk using attract on poor Lucario? Please tell me in a nice review!**

 **28th Place: Gastly (The Corwardly Ghost) - At least he's not** _ **that**_ **cowardly anymore, right? He's braver than Courage the Cowardly Dog now! He and Buneary made a nice friendship (it was mostly platonic) and I thought they were cute at times. Alas, there are a few too many shy and timid contestants, so one of them had to go. Gastly was the one. Sorry my dude!**

 **Please review! They give me life!**


	14. Chapter 14: Hunger of the Lost

**Chapter XI: Hunger of the Lost**

Meowstic grinned bemusedly as he watched Lucario stumble into his dorm room, clutching his head.

"You okay, dude?" Meowstic called, before lowering his voice as he remembered that Ribombee was sleeping in the room. "You look like you're suffering the symptoms of a hangover."

It was Meowstic who had dragged a love-struck Lucario away from Stunfisk after dinner last night, before basically throwing him into his dorm and going off to sleep. To his surprise, Lucario hardly seemed as madly flamboyant as he had been last night; instead, he was rolling his eyes and staggering to Meowstic's bed, dizzy and tired.

"What did we even do last challenge, Meowstic?" Lucario asked, slumping onto Meowstic's bed in a heaped mess. "Everything feels like a blur."

"Hunting Dittos," Meowstic answered. "Feeding milk to Dittos. Playing hide-and-seek with Dittos. Mucking about in Ditto muck. While you were… who-knows-what-ing with a certain ground-type."

Lucario shot him a startled look. "Who?"

"Stunfisk."

" _Stunfisk_?" Lucario repeated, his jaw dropping. "She can't stand me, though! What makes you think I was doing anything with Stunfisk?"

Meowstic bore his eyes into Lucario's. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because last I saw you, you wouldn't shut up about her?" He altered his voice in an attempt to mimic Lucario's. "What should I do on my next date with Stunfisk? What should I say on my next date with Stunfisk? What should I wear on my next date with Stunfisk? Do Pokémon even wear clothes? Oh, Meowstic, you psychic feline love god, tell me what to do with Stunfisk."

"I don't recall those words coming out from my mouth."

"I was paraphrasing your body language," Meowstic quipped. "Now spill."

Lucario shrugged. "I don't remember anything."

"Don't remember anything?" Meowstic's brows nearly rocketed off his forehead. "Don't remember _anything_?"

"Don't remember anything," Lucario confirmed.

Meowstic tilted his head. "You're kidding. You're telling me that your epic love story with the - your words - 'hottest Stunfisk of her generation that spanned multiple dimensions in your role-plays and several incidences of saving your ass from cages' is over with a shrug and a 'don't remember anything?'"

"Yeah," Lucario agreed, trying to sound casual about it. "That's what I'm telling you."

The feline Pokémon got up and gently slugged Lucario's shoulder.

"Sorry, mate," Meowstic murmured quietly, his eyes hollow with sympathy.

Lucario sighed. "Yeah."

 **0000**

" **I just don't get it!" Lucario exclaimed, tugging at his skin. "How is it that I don't remember anything, yet everyone else seems to think that Stunfisk and I went on some sort of scandalous date last challenge?"**

 **He clutched his head.**

" **And did I** _ **seriously**_ **role-play?"**

 **0000**

Espeon and Garchomp had spent the entire night playing countless games of chess. At first, Espeon had completely trashed Garchomp within minutes; however, as the night progressed, Garchomp had picked up tactics and techniques to counter Espeon's own.

By the end, to Espeon's dismay, they were both grinning rather goofily at the chessboard as they realised that they both had completely left their sides impenetrable, both of them wittily acting against every move the opponent made until they found they were going around in circles.

Even Espeon couldn't help but snort out a laugh as Garchomp groaned.

"I can't believe that I thought that the school chess club was for losers," Garchomp noted, shaking her head. "Chess is hard-core."

Espeon gestured towards the window, where the sun had risen and was piercing through the glass. "You're not wrong."

Beginning to pack away the board and store it into the cupboard, she gave Garchomp a pointed look.

"Garchomp," she began, offering a sly grin. "If you plan on murdering Lurantis, do it farther down the hills and away from the cabins where I cannot see you, so I won't have to answer awkward questions."

The dragon-type stifled her laughter. "I still can't believe you're helping me. Especially since I'm on the enemy team-"

"So is Lurantis, you know," Espeon retorted. "Lurantis is an even bigger enemy. And the enemy of the enemy is a friend."

"I wish Lurantis thought like that," Garchomp confessed. "For him, it's more like: the enemy of the enemy is vulnerable, let's stab them in the back while they're not looking."

They both smiled at the thought, before Garchomp folded her arms.

"Wait," she quickly added. "Why _is_ he your enemy?"

Espeon narrowed her eyes. "He once beat me in a game of chess. That's reason enough."

"Fair enough," Garchomp replied with a chuckle, before taking a long deep breath. "Hey, um, Espeon? I wanted to tell you something-"

"Arceus Above," Espeon mused. "You really _do_ sound like you're going to confess your undying love for me."

"It's not _that_!" Garchomp hastily protested, trying to wipe the stupid grin from her own face. "I just wanted to say thank you."

Espeon eyed Garchomp carefully. "Well, that's certainly…" she trailed off her sarcastic remark as she took in the sincere look of gratitude that Garchomp was giving her. "Um, you're welcome."

"What's this?" Garchomp teased. "Is Espeon _flustered_? Perhaps _you're_ the one who is in love with _me_."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

"Morning, Bellossom!"

"Morning, Miss Shaymin-" Bellossom halted suddenly, swinging around hastily to find that the voice did not, in fact, come from Shaymin at all. Instead, she found herself staring at a grinning Krokorok. "Wait, you're not Shaymin."

Krokorok shrugged his shoulders. "I don't blame you for mistaking me for her, though. I hear that the resemblance between me and Shaymin is uncanny."

"You look nothing like her," Bellossom pointed out with a grin. "You're a bit too…"

"Handsome?" Krokorok interjected smoothly, winking. "Or perhaps striking?"

Bellossom rolled her eyes playfully.

"I think the word I'm looking for is 'reptilian'".

Krokorok grinned. "Fair enough."

"The reason I mistook you for her is because no one else comes into the cafeteria kitchens _except_ for Shaymin," Bellossom explained, before furrowing her brows. "What _are_ you doing here, anyways?"

"I came here to help you prepare breakfast," Krokorok answered, sidling up to her and reaching out to grab the bowl containing pancake batter.

"You're being awfully helpful, lately," Bellossom mused. "Though, considering your efforts from when you and Noctowl tried to help me clean the school, I think it's safe to say that I'll be alright by myself."

Krokorok held out his arms. "Come on, Bellossom. Don't pretend that you didn't enjoy being trapped in a bucket with me."

"I most certainly did _not_ enjoy it-"

"I didn't hear you complaining at the time."

Bellossom dropped the plate of berries onto the bench. "That's because my mouth was _literally_ buried in your chest!"

"Whatever you say." Krokorok winked, causing Bellossom to laugh giddily.

"Actually, Krokorok," Bellossom began, glancing awkwardly at the ground. "There is something that you should know."

"Yes?"

Before, she could respond, the door slammed open again, and as Bellossom checked to see who it was, she shot Krokorok an exasperated look. "Please tell me that you didn't invite Noctowl as well- oh! Miss Shaymin!"

Shaymin, indeed, had flown into the kitchens, eyeing Krokorok suspiciously. "What is Krokorok doing here, Bellossom?"

"I had offered to help-" Krokorok began, but he was quickly interrupted by Bellossom.

"He was wondering why breakfast was taking so long to make," Bellossom hastily lied, her voice drowning out Krokorok's.

Shaymin didn't seem to care. Shrugging her shoulders, she ordered, "Screw making them breakfast. No food for them this morning! It's all part of the challenge."

" _What?_ " Bellossom asked, incredulous. "You can't make them starve-"

"Victreebel thought it was a fabulous idea, though," Shaymin insisted. "So we're going with it. Sorry, Bellossom." With a flash of a smile, she trotted out the door, leaving Bellossom gaping at the pancake batter in her hand.

After a sigh, Bellossom gestured at the bowl in her hands. "So… what do I do with this pancake batter?"

"That's easy," Krokorok answered, dipping a finger into the bowl and licking it. "You just eat it."

Bellossom's eyes widened. "What? But… it's raw! And gross! And… and…" She watched, horrified, as Krokorok dipped the spoon into the batter and raised it towards her mouth.

"Just try it," he urged. "It tastes exactly like pancake, but more like a pancake milkshake than an actual pancake."

After a moment of futile protesting, Bellossom allowed him to slide the spoon into her mouth, and the sudden burst of butter and sugar in her mouth nearly made her sigh dreamily. Snatching the spoon away from the crocodile, she dipped it in once again and firmly shoved the spoon back into her mouth.

"Isn't there a rule against double dipping?" Krokorok mused, but Bellossom shook her head stubbornly.

"Well," Bellossom began with a frown. "I guess it's all mine then."

Krokorok made a lunge for the bowl. "Hey! Sharing is caring!"

"Mine!"

They proceeded chasing each other around the small kitchen, so engrossed in their battle for the batter than when Absol entered the kitchen to see the ruckus, they hadn't even noticed. Without another word, Absol backed out, eyes wide.

 **0000**

" **I just saw Bellossom threaten Krokorok with a spoon," Absol noted. "And here I was thinking that she was one of the sane ones!"**

 **0000**

"Good morning everyone!" Shaymin called out. The contestants who were scattered around the cafeteria turned to glare at her as their stomachs growled, their insides clawing at them from the hunger.

"Can we worry about the challenge _after_ breakfast?" Shroomish asked, frowning.

"You're not having breakfast this morning!"

Meowstic arched a brow. "Dude, isn't that illegal? Can't we sue?"

"Nope."

"Let me guess; it's because you have no money, so suing you would be as useless as having a peephole in a transparent door, isn't it?"

Shaymin snarled. "Shut up, Meowstic. Anyways, today's challenge has very much to do with you guys starving! The two teams will be on separate parts of the island, and you will be given several food rations to last you the day. However, the rations shouldn't last you much longer than midday; you're going to have to find your own food. However, there isn't actually much food around the island, so some of you will end up starving."

"How will we decide a winner?" Haxorus asked. "Are you going to see whose stomach ends up growling the loudest? Because that's _totally_ unfair. My stomach, for example, growls much louder than Skitty's, because I'm bigger. Not that it would matter, because we're on the same team. But still, for example, think of Garchomp and Skitty - Garchomp's stomach would growl louder because she's bigger. No offence, Garchomp. Please don't hurt me. I swear, I didn't mean-"

" _Shut up_ ," Shaymin repeated, hushing the dragon-type. "It has nothing to do with stomach growling. When a Pokémon faints, the team that Pokémon belongs to will automatically lose."

Primarina gave the host a pointed look. "That has lots of loopholes. For example, someone from the Kyogres might just punch someone from the Groudons and knock them unconscious so that their team can win. Does the Pokémon who fainted have to faint from starvation?"

Her eye twitching, Shaymin groaned. "Okay! Fine. If you are knocked unconscious by a member of the other team, that will not count. There! Happy?"

They all nodded, satisfied.

"Okay, good," Shaymin snapped. "Now, I'm not sure you realised, but we've already eliminated _a quarter_ of our contestants. You guys are the top seventy-five percent! To celebrate, we've decided to spice things up a bit; there will be an immunity idol hiding in the island this challenge. Whoever finds this idol will be safe from today's elimination. So two things to look out for: food and an idol."

From across the room, Espeon winked suddenly at Garchomp, who grinned in response.

"An idol?" Bellossom chimed, confused. "Wait, I thought that you couldn't find anyone willing to make you one-"

"Yes, so the idol is actually a picture of me. Okay? Whoever finds the picture of me wins immunity," Shaymin explained, rolling her eyes. "Jeez, you guys make this so much harder than it needs to be. Anyways, Kyogres are on the East, and Groudons are on the West. Your rations are already there. The challenge starts _now_!"

 **0000**

" **This is perfect! It's my chance to show off all my food puns!" Skitty exclaimed, grinning enthusiastically. "Okay, so… What do you call a fake noodle?"**

 **She winked at the camera.**

" **An im** _ **pasta**_ **!"**

 **0000**

 **Krokorok held his hands out guiltily. "I'm probably the only one here who actually ate something for breakfast, since that pancake batter was pretty filling. So, maybe if I skip out on dealing the rations, I can find myself that immunity…"**

 **0000**

" **At first, I thought the immunity idol was pretty stupid," Froslass confessed. "What are the chances that the Pokémon who finds it will be a Pokémon who is most likely going to be eliminated?"**

 **The ice-type smiled.**

" **Then, I realised that you can use it to save a friend."**

 **0000**

His tail twitching behind him, Krokorok began searching through the woods, the metallic device that Luxio had so kindly made to control his tail held inside his paws. He figured that the best way to find something which everyone would be searching for would be to allow his wicked tail to be free once again to hunt down the object.

"Okay, but please, control yourself," he told his tail, before shaking his head. "Oh, Arceus, I'm talking to myself again."

As if exhilarated by its freedom, his tail began to shake uncontrollably, swinging wildly back and forth until it was dragging Krokorok's body behind it, madly hitting against trees and rocks that came into its path.

"Will you just chill?" Krokorok hissed to the tail. "You make it seem like we've already found the goddamned- oh."

The crocodile stopped as his tail began thrashing against a tree stump, where a small photo was plastered onto the bark. Shaymin was smiling in the photo, her grin bright and optimistic as the sun shone behind her. Interestingly, the photo had been torn in half, concealing whoever remained on the other end of the photo.

"You know, sometimes I like you," Krokorok whispered to his tail, watching in awe as his tail snatched the photo and pushed it at Krokorok's chest. He couldn't help but roll his eyes as the tail slithered up to his shoulders, affectionately wrapping around his neck. "Only sometimes, though."

As Krokorok and his tail celebrated the finding of the photo, a pair of red eyes watched from the bushes, analysing his every move.

* * *

"Okay," Primarina began, glancing around at her team. "So, Shaymin has given us a container of biscuits and a container of potatoes. I say that we save them up as much as we can and collect as much food as possible, so that the moment we start feeling a bit too hungry, we can start nibbling on the food."

"Sounds good," Banette agreed. "So, should we have someone guarding the-"

She was interrupted by a loud burp and turned around horrified to find that Exeggutor was standing in front of the container of biscuits.

"Tor! You can't just eat all of the biscuits!" Ex scolded. "That was for _everyone_!"

Egg nodded. "And now my stomach feels queasy from all those sugary biscuits…"

"Why is your stomach queasy?" Tor snapped. "I'm the one who ate it, not you!"

"Guys," Ex sighed. "We share the same stomach."

Their quarrelling was interrupted by Primarina, who had narrowed her eyes at them. "Eaten all the biscuits, have you?" she asked, her voice tinged with disapproval.

Egg nodded on behalf of his brothers, unable to speak as he felt the first wave of nausea hit him.

"While I do understand how hungry you are," Primarina started, sighing, "I do not approve of the way you expressed that to us. I think you owe our team an apology."

Tor snickered at her. "What are you; our mum?"

"No, I'm not your mum-"

"Good!" Tor retorted. "I'd rather die than have you as a mum!"

Primarina jerked backwards, her eyes beginning to widen as her face paled. Garchomp eyed her with curiosity, watching as the water-type seemed to recoil in pain at the mere words that were spoken to her.

Before Primarina could speak, Exeggutor retched and sprinted to the side, before emptying the contents of their stomach onto the grass.

"Serves you right!" Primarina barked stubbornly, glaring at them. "I've never seen such disrespect in my life!"

Exeggutor groaned and tried to cough the bitter taste of acid from the back of their throats, then tottered back towards their team-mates and slumping onto the ground.

"I think it's all out now," Ex announced, wiping his mouth with a leaf from his head.

"And now we're left with no food," Mimikyu sighed, rubbing her hands together. "So now what?"

All the Kyogres glared at Exeggutor, who only cowered sheepishly.

 **0000**

" **Idiot, idiot, idiot!" Ex yelled.** **"Can't you control your urges for once, Tor?"**

 **Tor frowned. "I needed the food for power!"**

" **Seriously? Power? What's more important: power or common sense? Egg, you answer this question."**

" **... Yes," Egg replied sheepishly, glancing down.**

" **WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?"**

 **0000**

"Okay, so I know conserving food is important," Salazzle pointed out. "But judging by your faces, we're going to struggle getting some food if we don't even have the energy to move. So, since one of the containers has sugar biscuits, I say that we all have one each - since there are about twenty biscuits in there. That should be enough to motivate us and keep us fuelled."

They all agreed to that, with Noctowl hovering over the biscuits to ensure that each Pokémon only took one biscuit. Absol, who was last in line, scampered over excitedly to the biscuits, when Noctowl dropped the lid shut.

"H-hey!" Absol yelped, stepping back. "What gives? Are there no more biscuits left or something?"

Noctowl smiled sweetly. "Sorry, Absol. It's just that if you eat a biscuit, we'll have an odd number of biscuits left."

"So?"

"It wouldn't look nearly as good," Noctowl explained, opening up to lid to reveal the assortment of biscuits, all arranged meticulously, with not a crumb out of place as it filled an entire row of the container. "There always needs to be an even number of biscuits if we want it to look good."

Absol grinned. "Okay, then how about I eat _two_ biscuits?"

Suddenly, everyone in the area turned to growl at Absol.

"NO!"

Backing away, Absol clicked his tongue.

"Here," Skitty offered. "You can have half of mine."

"Thanks, Skitty!" Absol chirped, grinning mischievously at Noctowl. "Don't worry, Noctowl. Your treasure is safe."

Noctowl rolled her eyes, before swooping towards the middle of the team's base.

"Um, guys?" she began, flushing slightly as everyone fixed their gaze on her. "I'm not sure if you remember, but in the challenge with the glass castles with Shroomish as our King, we were given those communication devices. After the challenge, I found them all over the place, so I thought I'd pick a few up. I was thinking that maybe we could use it today, when we're ambushing the other team and trying to get food?"

They all watched in silence as she pulled out a small bag and emptied the contents, revealing the small metallic devices that clattered onto the ground.

"Wow," Shroomish gasped. "That's actually… really smart."

Noctowl grinned humbly, watching as everyone took a piece. Finally, only two remained; one that had belonged to Vespiquen, and one spare.

"Who's was that?" Buneary asked, pointing at the spare. "I don't remember us having spares. Someone is missing."

"Krokorok," Golisopod stated with a scowl. "Krokorok is the one missing. Where the hell is he?"

* * *

Though elated that he had gotten the immunity photo, Krokorok's heart sank as he approached the base of the Guzzling Groudons to find that it was blocked off by a small tree in his path. The tree was certainly smaller than him, hardly reaching his waste, and there was a slit of space on either side of the tree if he was to think about squeezing past it.

However, Krokorok could not go past the tree.

"Because I didn't bother learning the HM Cut," Krokorok sighed, before peering past the tree. "Guys! Let me in please! It's Krokorok!"

"Now, now, Krokorok, keep it down," came a voice from the side. Glancing to his life, Krokorok found Lurantis leaning against a tree, grinning.

Krokorok grimaced. He only wanted to get back to his base, but he couldn't lead Lurantis there, nor was he willing to let Lurantis get hold of the little photo flapping out in his hand.

"It's a shame this tree is blocking our path," Lurantis noted with a sigh. "I had plans to sneak into your base and steal myself some food to bring back to my team." Suddenly, he tilted his head. "That's right; I know the move Cut."

"Great," Krokorok remarked. "You know Cut. Could you use it on the tree, so I can get back to my base?"

Lurantis pondered on it for a moment, before answering. "No."

"What?" Krokorok stammered. "Just let me in! It's my base, anyways. And… if you don't cut it for me, I'll just scream until someone comes to me and sees you and chases you out or something."

"Well, you could do that," Lurantis agreed. "And I certainly wouldn't begrudge you your right to. In all likelihood, however, we would both be punished; I would be sent back to my team empty-handed, and your team will see the immunity photo in your hand and instantly try to steal it from you. So why don't we cut a deal here? You give me that immunity, and I cut down this tree for you so you can get back to your base."

"Shove it up your ass," Krokorok spat in disbelief. This was blatant blackmail!

"Come on, Krokorok, be reasonable. Soon, everyone will know that you're here and that you have the immunity, and they'll come prowling after you. You can either leg it when they arrive, or stay and watch them fight over it. Either way, you're no match for twenty of us. You made a mistake finding that immunity. Let me help you out." His voice was almost friendly, as if he were doing Krokorok a favour.

Krokorok's face burned red. "Is that it, then?" Krokorok asked, his voice low with frustration. "You think you're very clever, don't you?"

"It's just the logical conclusion to a situation in which I happen to be the beneficiary," Lurantis pointed out, his eyes gleaming with triumph.

"You forgot one thing," Krokorok growled. "I'd rather stay out here and lose my team's trust than kiss your ass."

Lurantis snorted. "I think I'll call your bluff, Krokorok. We have a long day ahead of us; it will be fun to watch you try and fend off your own team mates."

Though he knew Lurantis was baiting him, Krokorok felt his blood boil. "I will not give you the immunity. Just let me in, and I'll forget about telling my team members that you're here. We can put this whole thing behind us," he suggested.

"I'll tell you what," Lurantis drawled. "I can't come away completely empty-handed - that wouldn't do now, would it? But since I'm feeling generous, if you give me that immunity, I'll call it a day, and we can both get what we want."

Krokorok suggested at the nerve of the suggestion. He did not want to give Lurantis the immunity, not when he could use it to protect himself or protect a friend on his team, like Absol. At the same time, though, if his group found out that he had the immunity, they would give him hell and potentially try to get it off him. Now that Lurantis knew, there was no way he could keep it a secret.

"Alright, Lurantis, come and get it," Krokorok sighed, holding up the photo.

"Throw it to me," Lurantis called out. "I don't trust you."

"What?" Krokorok cried in disbelief. After a moment, seeing that Lurantis was probably worried that he would fight back when they were in close proximity, Krokorok sighed once again, before flicking the photo towards Lurantis.

Lurantis grinned with mock cheer. "Nice doing business with you, Krokorok. Have fun camping out here with that tree."

"Wait!" Krokorok yelled. "What about our deal? You agreed to cut the tree!"

"I held up my end of the bargain, Krokorok," Lurantis snarled. "I said I'd call it a day, and we'd both get what we want. And you said earlier that you would rather stay out here rather than kiss my ass. So, there you go; you get what you want, and I get what I want. You aren't kissing my ass, you're staying out here instead, which is what you preferred."

Krokorok only managed to gape at the grass-type, who waved the photo in his hand.

"You really should pay attention to the wording in every agreement," Lurantis snickered, sauntering away, leaving Krokorok to growl at the small tree that obstructed him from his team base.

 **0000**

" **I… I'm not even mad," Krokorok admitted, his eye twitching. "That was fucking clever."**

 **0000**

From the bushes, Garchomp had been watching the exchange between Lurantis and Krokorok, her fist clenching with rage as she watched the grass-type basically bully the ground-type, and simultaneously earn himself that damned immunity. Every cell in her body told her to get up and slap that mantis straight in the face, and teach him a lesson.

But she had to be smarter than that. He had the immunity right now, she had to be on good terms with him. It was about playing smart.

Once she was certain that Lurantis was out of view, she shuffled out from behind the shadows, approaching Krokorok with an almost bashful smile plastered over her lips.

"Um, hey Krokorok," she greeted, awkwardly watching him glare at the small tree that barricaded him.

Krokorok narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh, no. Not you too. Is it some sort of 'Krokorok gets bullied by Kinky Kyogres Day' or something?"

"No," Garchomp responded, with a grin. "It's 'Krokorok gets bullied by Kinky Kyogres Month', I believe."

"Well, shit."

Watching the reptile's face pale, Garchomp shook her head. "I was kidding! Jeez, am I _really_ that bad at jokes? First Mimikyu, and now you-"

"The joke was fine," Krokorok interrupted, his hands shooting up in surrender. "It's just… You're not really one to joke. And I never know how to handle you; one moment you're throwing rocks at Vespiquen, then the next-"

"Oh," Garchomp suddenly slackened her jaw, glancing down at the ground. "Right. _That_."

Krokorok looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, _that_."

"Look," Garchomp sighed. "Whatever happened between me and Vespiquen, I swear it's all over now. We're on good terms, even if she's gone. And I'm really sorry about how Lurantis got that immunity off you just now - I really am."

"It's nothing," Krokorok shrugged. "He's just playing the game. It was kind of smart, to be fair."

Garchomp shook her head. "But it was cruel, as well, though. And uncalled for." After a moment of thought, she moved towards the tree. "I'll make it up to you; I'm pretty sure I know the move Cut."

"Wow," Krokorok managed to gasp. "That'd be really… awesome of you."

"One condition, though."

"Of course," Krokorok groaned. "A condition. You're going to do exactly what Lurantis did, aren't you?"

Garchomp rolled her eyes. "My condition is that you forgive me, and forget whatever I did to Vespiquen. I don't want to be remembered as a bitch anymore."

"I believe you were known as the 'fire-breathing-bitch-queen.'"

"That's lovely," Garchomp quipped, arching a brow. "But seriously, I want all grudges between me and Vespiquen's friends gone. Please. No more grudges?"

Krokorok smiled, before reaching out to shake her hand.

"No more grudges."

 **0000**

" **Fire-breathing-bitch-queen?" Garchomp repeated, chuckling. "I… I think I actually like that."**

 **0000**

Pumpkaboo, standing on top of Primarina's head, bellowed to her group. "Good now, mine own cater-cousins!" she called out. "Queen Pumpkaboo is in chargeth again! Together, we shall feed our kingdom!"

"Oh no," Meowstic sighed. "She's gone into this phase again. Does it happen every month or something? Is this a monthly girl thing?"

"I wish I knew, buddy," Lucario responded. "My luck with understanding women is just as awful as yours."

"Pretty sure yours is worse."

Lucario nodded solemnly. "Pretty sure you're right."

"Cease thy bickering!" Pumpkaboo called to them. "I say that, as a team, we should go as one big troop and steal their rations! Then, we shall feast upon our enemies' own food!"

"Wait," Primarina quickly interrupted, shaking her head so that Pumpkaboo fell off. "We need to defend this place, in case they come to steal our rations."

"We don't have any rations left," Banette pointed out, pointing at Exeggutor. "Remember? The stooges ate them."

A grin spread on Primarina's face. "But the other team doesn't know that."

"A trap!" Ribombee exclaimed, before flushing and lowering his voice. "You're saying t-that we trick the other team into believing that we have food, so when they come, they find nothing except an angry Kyogre ready to ambush them?"

"I believe that Exeggutor should be our defender," Magikarp spoke, his voice less of an offer and more of a command.

Zoroark gave him a sceptical look. "I don't know about that. Exeggutor is sort of a wild card-"

"Nonsense!" Pumpkaboo interrupted. "Lord Magikarp is always correct, so I say that we follow his orders. Let's go and steal some rations!"

* * *

Within minutes, the Kyogres had scattered away from their home base completely, leaving their station barren, with a small box of food placed tantalisingly in the middle.

Trotting her way towards the base, Skitty grinned mischievously. "Did they _seriously_ leave their food rations abandoned?" she asked herself. "I was only here to spy on them, but it looks like no one is here - so I can steal food as well! It's like… hitting two birds with one stone."

She smirked at herself.

"Or should I say… Two birds with one _scone_?"

Chuckling at herself, she moved towards the box and flicked open the lid, drool already forming at her lips as she imagined a delicious smell wafting from the contents within the box, the rich scent of-

Nothing.

As Skitty stared at the box, she found that there was absolutely nothing in there.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "That's a shame. I was really looking for something to eat-"

"Would you look at that, Ex and Egg?" a voice snarled from behind her. "We have fresh meat."

Skitty whirled around to find the Egg Brothers watching her with malicious grins spread over their face. "Bitch peas," she snarled playfully, her voice emphasising the pun. "I am not fresh meat. I'm actually sort of worn out-"

"It's an expression," Ex clarified gently. "It's something that Tor likes to say when he's about to attack someone."

"Come at me, you… you…" Skitty rummaged through her mind for yet another pun. "You peach of shit! I'm ready to fight!"

Egg frowned. "I r-really don't think you are-"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Tor growled, stepping forwards, his face fuming with rage. He stepped towards Skitty, and before she could react, he stomped on her tail, halting her from running.

"I was only making a pun," Skitty insisted. "I didn't mean to-"

Tor hardly seemed to be listening. Glowering as he towered over her, the grass-type licked his lips.

"Fresh meat."

 **0000**

" **Okay…" Skitty trailed off, eyes wide. "So that was definitely a mis-steak."**

 **0000**

Ribombee, Zoroark, Banette, Magikarp, Mimikyu, Primarina, Pumpkaboo, and Lucario all stared at Meowstic and Musharna, their jaws dropped.

"Wait, sorry," Ribombee murmured. "But you could repeat that one more time? You can create a _portal_ to the Groudons base?"

"Don't revere us so much," Meowstic humbly scoffed. "We are psychic types after all. It's like using teleport and foresight together, pretty much."

Musharna nodded. "With the portal… We can go to their base without attracting too much attention… But those who stay back can also watch from here to see whether the Pokémon who travelled through is safe… or not…"

"Gosh," Pumpkaboo managed to gasp. "Why, Musharna, are you so freaking badass?"

The psychic-type flushed. "Thank you, Pumpkaboo… I'm glad you think I have a nice ass…?"

"No, I meant-" Pumpkaboo interjected, but then swallowed down her protest. "Well, actually…"

"Okay, let's not start analysing poor Musharna's ass," Primarina instructed. "What should the plan be?

Meowstic pointed at Musharna. "I think Musharna had an idea in mind."

"I did…" Musharna confirmed. "I was thinking… Zoroark transforms into a Pokémon who can use vine-whip or string-shot, and we tie that around a volunteer… The volunteer then goes through the portal and goes into the Groudons base to find some food… And the rest of us will watch from the portal… When we see that they are in danger, we all help Zoroark pull the volunteer out and up through the portal."

"That's brilliant," Banette marvelled. "Who will the volunteer be?"

"We'll need someone fast," Meowstic began. "Someone agile as well, someone-"

Before they even had a moment to further discuss it, Pumpkaboo was already wrapping herself in a silken thread of string-shot, which was coming from Zoroark, who had transformed herself into a Wurmple.

"In other words, me!" Pumpkaboo declared. "I volunteer as tribute!"

They all stared at the clumsy pumpkin, who was prancing about cheerfully as the silky thread clung to her. She tripped over her own feet several times, but every time, she jumped back up and shot her team members a goofy smile.

"Well…" Zoroark muttered, the pitch of her voice increasing to a high squeak as she spoke in the form of a Wurmple. "If she really wants to."

The two psychic-type Pokémon were already standing to the side, their eyes glowing with power as a portal formed, radiating bright colours that seemed to spark like electricity.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Primarina enquired, but before anyone could answer, Pumpkaboo leapt through the portal. The team members eagerly waited for a yelp of pain, or even a thump, but all they heard Musharna humming to herself as she levitated beside the portal.

The portal had rippled when Pumpkaboo jumped through, and the string shot that was connected to Zoroark's mouth shot through it like a laser, but the portal displayed the image of the Groudons base, nevertheless.

There was the green-tinged ground, with fine grains of rusty sand swamping over the grass, churned into dust by a seething wind. Stunted trees dotted the landscape, their sparse branches contorted.

Suddenly, in the midst of grass, they could see Pumpkaboo, rubbing her head as she sat herself up. To their relief, a box of food lay on the ground near her.

Pumpkaboo glanced up at the portal, which was located on the ceiling of their base, and winked at the members of her team who she knew were looking at her, and moved away.

The small Pokémon had just grabbed the small box of food when she was knocked over by a brutal force, throwing her to the ground. The team gasped as they saw Lycanroc lunge for Pumpkaboo.

"Pumpkaboo…?" Musharna gasped, and suddenly, the portal weakened, the image of Pumpkaboo and Lycanroc spinning like a kaleidoscope before vanishing into thin air.

* * *

"Let go of the food, Pumpkaboo," Lycanroc scowled. "Otherwise, by the power of Lord Magikarp, I will-"

Pumpkaboo grinned wickedly. "You forget, Lycanroc, that Lord Magikarp is on _my_ team. Besides, I get that you worship him - I do, too - but don't you think you're taking things a bit too far? Like, seriously dude, you need to chill."

"Chill?" Lycanroc spat. " _Chill_? You don't belong in Lord Magikarp's team, you _mutt_!"

"Did you call me a _mutt_?" Pumpkaboo echoed, narrowing her eyes. "Dishonour on you! Get thee to a nunnery! Off with your head!"

Lycanroc lunged at her, his face brimming with anger, and Pumpkaboo's grin widened. She tugged onto the silken thread that hung like a rope, clutching onto the food box tightly, indicating for Zoroark to pull her up.

To her horror, though, the portal above her snapped shut, the thread that bound her to Zoroark cutting off.

She watched horrified as the end of the thread fell to the ground, before raising her eyes to see Lycanroc barring his teeth, just millimetres from her face.

"Well, fuck me."

 **0000**

" **Lord!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed, her face ashen. "What fools these mortals be!"**

 **0000**

"We should save her…" Musharna suggested firmly, ignoring the protests of those around her.

Ribombee raised his hand. "I know you want to save her, Musharna, but we can't risk losing all of our team for the sake of a few biscuits."

"She offered her body as sacrifice," Magikarp preached. "This is true worship."

"But it's not true friendship!" Banette argued softly. "We have to go get her."

Meowstic frowned. "I hope Lycanroc doesn't mistake her for an actually pumpkin and eat her."

"Not helping, man," Lucario pointed out.

"Oh, that's right. The Pokémon world doesn't even have pumpkins-"

Primarina quickly interrupted him. "Before we break the fourth wall completely-"

"You literally _just_ did exactly that."

"-we should decide on an action plan."

The nine of them eyed each other, waiting for someone to speak. After a moment, Mimikyu piped up.

"Musharna's right," the small Pokémon muttered softly, flushing slightly at the attention. "We should save her."

"Is that _really_ a good idea?" Zoroark asked. "I mean, it's a nice sentiment, but we might just cause more trouble."

Mimikyu shook her head. "That shouldn't stop us. In the glass castle challenge, Pumpkaboo ventured out to save me when I was captured, even though she was queen and needed to be protected. She said that no one should get left behind. I think we have to live up to that legacy."

"I agree…" Musharna confirmed, smiling gratefully at Mimikyu. "I need to help Meowstic make the portal, so…"

"I'll go," Mimikyu spoke again, bolder. "I'll go and save her. She saved me, and it's my turn to pay her back."

She turned to Zoroark, still disguised as a Wurmple, and held out her arms.

"Do me," she commanded gently, indicating towards the silken threads that were left on the ground.

Meowstic winced. "A regrettable choice of words."

"Oh, stop with your raunchy jokes and just help Musharna with the portal," Primarina huffed, rolling her eyes.

Lucario leaned over and winked at Meowstic. "It's only regrettable if you make it regrettable-"

"Good Lord," Meowstic dramatically clutched at his heart. "Let's hope that's not what happened between you and Stunfisk."

" _Seriously_ ," Banette sighed, a playful smile on her lips. "At this rate, you two are bound to be forever alone."

After a moment, Meowstic and Musharna set up the portal once again, the blue sparks flying as the illusion of Pumpkaboo lying on the ground reappeared, with Lycanroc watching over her. Mimikyu was struggling to move with the bulk of silk around her body, but her face was set with determination as she flung herself into the portal.

The remaining members of the Kyogre watched with horror as Mimikyu fell onto the ground, the impact of her landing even surprising Lycanroc and sending him falling backwards. Using his recoil to her advantage, Mimikyu scooped up Pumpkaboo and began moving towards the portal again.

"Why is she moving so slowly?" Ribombee asked curiously, almost desperately.

"She's covered completely in string-shot, while carrying a thirty centimetre pumpkin in her hands," Magikarp explained in a lofty tone. "If the portal closes, they will both be trapped there, and the string-shot will be snipped before Zoroark can pull them back in. Foolish Mimikyu."

"She's going to make it," Banette murmured desperately, mentally willing Mimikyu onwards as she too another staggering step.

"We can make them move faster!" Zoroark cried out, noticing Lycanroc getting up to chase after Pumpkaboo and Mimikyu. "They're still connected to this string-shot! Just help me pull them up!"

Without hesitating, all Pokémon, except for Magikarp, grabbed onto the small Wurmple, lined up in a chain as they heaved backwards.

As they continued pulling Zoroark backwards, Mimikyu's pace quickened, her feet almost skidding across the ground as the rope that was attached to her pulled her forwards.

Lycanroc, though, was not giving up. He dived towards Mimikyu, his claws outstretched. She ducked down, but it was too late; the claws scored along her back, sending her hurtling to the ground.

"Pull her in!" Lucario called, grimacing as he strained his muscles, pulling the string-shot with all his might. His team-members followed suit, clinging onto each other and moving back as quickly as they could, heaving Mimikyu out of Lycanroc's grasp.

They were making fast progress, extracting several metres of the silky rope through the crackling portal. The strain on the rope lifted as Mimikyu managed to stumble to her feet, before her and Pumpkaboo were heaved out of the portal, falling through in a tangle of limbs.

Before Lycanroc had the chance to leap through the portal after them, Musharna and Meowstic banished the portal with a yelp, collapsing onto the ground, drained of their energy. The portal had disappeared, and their group was once again reunited. They all cheered together, embracing in a hug, with even Magikarp daintily leaning against Primarina.

"Thank you, dear Mimikyu," Pumpkaboo praised, grinning proudly. "That was an honourable rescue indeed! And now… we shall feast!"

She raised the box of biscuits, and they all cheered once again, still exhilarated. Musharna and Meowstic, despite their exhaustion, managed to crack a grin, and Zoroark, who was no longer a Wurmple, was chuckling as she wiped away threads of silk from her body.

"Not so fast, you guys."

The team turned to find Stunfisk glaring at them, a snarl stretched across her lips.

"Stunfisk…" Lucario gasped. "I need to talk to you-"

"That box of biscuits belong to the Groudons," Stunfisk snapped, ignoring Lucario. "I say that you give it back or face my wrath."

Suddenly, the Kyogres snickered.

"What are you going to do, Stunfisk?" Meowstic quipped. "Start a new cult called 'Kyogres are Bastards?''

"Probably," Stunfisk answered with a grin. "Or… I can stun you with my beauty."

Suddenly, a wave of electricity was fired from the ground-type, reaching towards the Kyogres at an incredibly rapid pace.

"Thunder Wave," Magikarp growled. "She knows Thunder Wave."

They all exchanged gasps of surprise, before Banette cried out.

"RUN!"

Just before the bolts of electricity could reach them, they had all burst into a furious sprint towards the forest.

Lucario remained behind though, watching with dismay as his body began to stiffen with paralysis when the Thunder Wave hit him.

"Wow," Lucario began weakly. "Looks like your beauty has paralysed me, Stunfisk."

He watched the ground-type carefully, looking for any sort of glint in her eyes that would hint that there was something between them. Though he saw a quick flicker of longing and guilt, it was quickly replaced with a haughty glare.

"Of course you have been," Stunfisk snarled. "My beauty tends to do that. It's a wonder that you mistook me for being beastly in the first place."

"I had meant badass," Lucario insisted. "Not beastly. I'm, um, sorry for that."

Stunfisk watched Lucario with wide eyes, her heart hammering as her brain swam with thoughts. Now was her chance; no one was around to see her, and she could easily use Attract on Lucario. She couldn't deny how much she enjoyed his constant waves of affection towards her, his kindness, his graciousness.

But that wasn't really him, was it?

Or perhaps it was him, but it wasn't for her.

 _You're so terrible, Stunfisk_. _Why must you be so terrible?_

The words that Skitty had told her suddenly echoed in her head, blanketing over all of her thoughts.

No, she couldn't use Attract on him. She could lie to herself all she wanted, but she couldn't let others do the lying for her, even if Lucario had seemed almost willing to do it.

"Stunfisk?" Lucario asked, attempting to move his head slightly to bore his eyes into hers. "Are you okay?"

She turned away furiously. "I'm fine."

"I was just wondering…" Lucario trailed off, sounding sheepish. "Was there ever something between us? Because, according to Meowstic, there was something going on, but I can't recall a thing. It was like waking up from a hangover or something."

"There was nothing," she snapped, already beginning to slither away. "Nothing at all."

She turned around one last time, and instantly regretted doing so; she couldn't bear to see the disappointed and hurt expression that lingered on Lucario's face.

"Nothing at all?" Lucario asked once more, incredulously.

She tried not to feel so bad for lying. After all, she had spent her entire life lying to herself and others. What difference did one more lie make?

Shaking her head, she started trailing away once again.

"Nothing at all."

 **0000**

" **I'll never know when a girl is trying to hit on me," Lucario began. "I will never know when she is trying to tell me to piss off in a nice way. But I** _ **will**_ **know when a girl is lying to me."**

 **He narrowed his eyes.**

" **And Stunfisk was definitely lying about something."**

 **0000**

Storming forwards, Golisopod had his fists clenched as he marched towards the forest, in pursuit of the band of Kyogres that had taken away their food rations.

Behind him was Absol, scuttling hastily. "Remind me again," Absol panted. "As to why we are abandoning all out other biscuit boxes to chase after these guys?"

"Because they stole our food," Golisopod told him. "So they deserve punishment, and we deserve to get our food back before we starve."

"Right…" Absol hesitantly responded. "So… we kill them."

"Yes."

They continued in silence, before Absol, awkwardly wanting to initiate a conversation, spoke.

"So, Golisopod, what do you hope to achieve in life?"

"The purpose of life is to die," Golisopod curtly answered in a clipped tone. "Isn't that what everyone strives for?"

Absol gasped. "Absol-utely not! There is so much more to life than dying, Golisopod. Come _on_ , dude, brighten up. For example, memes. Memes are worth living for."

Ignoring the dark-type, Golisopod kept going forwards.

"Besides," Absol grumbled. "By the sounds of it, your purpose in life isn't just to die; it's to die as angrily as possible."

"Absol! Hurry your ass up!"

"I'm hurrying my ass up!"

* * *

"We're being chased," Meowstic informed the big group, glancing back hastily. "Golisopod and Absol aren't too far behind us."

"We should split up," Primarina suggested. "It might help us get away with the food."

Banette shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. No offence, but some of us, like Pumpkaboo, Mimikyu and Magikarp, can barely run off on our own. Besides, we can't let one Pokémon have the food - we all need to have some. Otherwise one of us will fall unconscious and we will lose the challenge."

"So what do we do?" Mimikyu asked.

"I'll stay back and fend them off," Meowstic offered. "The rest of you can get away."

Zoroark raised her arm. "I'll help-"

"No, you won't," Meowstic refuted. "We kind of need you to carry Pumpkaboo and Magikarp, especially since we've lost Lucario. It's better that you keep running with them."

"I'll stay and help, then," Ribombee volunteered shyly. "If Mimikyu can be brave enough to jump into a portal to the Groudons territory, I can be brave enough to fight off Absol."

"And Golisopod," Meowstic added, eyebrow arched.

Ribombee gulped. "... And Golisopod."

After a brief, silent agreement, the rest of the group continued running down the forest, leaving Ribombee and Meowstic behind. It only took moments for Absol and Golisopod to appear.

"Let's get them," Golisopod muttered, stepping forwards.

"Careful, Golisopod," Meowstic mused. "If you're going to battle us, make sure you actually know how to battle first."

Absol's face paled as he watched Golisopod growl with fury, his eyes darting furiously between Meowstic and Ribombee as if he were ready to bowl them over.

"Absol?" Golisopod barked.

"Yessir!"

Golisopod's eyes widened slightly, before giving the dark-type a sceptical look. "You don't need to be scared of me, you know."

"No?"

The arthropod tried to give an easy grin to his teammate. "I just want you to know that you should fight dirty and go for the face. Gentlemen's rules are for gentlemen."

"And you're not gentlemen?" Ribombee asked them.

"No, we're savages," Absol answered, though hesitantly.

Meowstic grinned. "Clearly."

With that, Meowstic spun and fired a Psybeam at Absol's eyes, temporarily blinding him. Quick as a flash, he had his fist clenched, burying a Sucker Punch near Golisopod's groin, sending the arthropod doubling-over in pain.

"See, that's the thing about Pokémon battles in the games," Meowstic sighed, backing off. "They fail to mention _where_ the punches hit. Maybe that's why some moves are a critical hit; because they hit a _critical_ area, if you know what I mean."

Ribombee, swallowing his terror, threw himself into the thick of the brawl, aiming a Dazzling Gleam towards Golisopod. The blow instantly hit the arthropod, but Golisopod reached out and grabbed onto Ribombee as he fell to the ground, the momentum pushing them both forwards.

The two of them tussled on the ground, with Golisopod using his weight to his advantage. He pressed Ribombee to the ground with a beefy arm.

"Where is the food?" Golisopod asked roughly.

"I don't know…" Ribombee managed to gasp.

Golisopod wasn't taking that as an answer, though. "I said, _where is the food_?" he repeated.

Dizzy from the action, Ribombee felt an increasing pang of impatience smother over him, forcing his eyes to narrow with frustration as he answered the arthropod.

"Wow," Meowstic called from above, watching the pair brawl on the floor. To Ribombee's amusement, it seemed as if Meowstic was using Absol as a horse, riding on the dark-type's back. "If Golisopod didn't look like he wanted to kill you, I would have thought something juicy was happening down there."

Suddenly, an idea struck Ribombee.

"G-Golisopod?" Ribombee asked tentatively, his cheeks blushing timidly. "Can I… can I kiss you?" Without waiting for a response, Ribombee puckered his lips, reaching over to smooch Golisopod.

The arthropod immediately began backing away. "The fuck?"

Ribombee had already planted his lips onto Golisopod's head, though, and suddenly, Golisopod felt his energy drain away from him, collapsing onto the ground.

Meowstic and Absol froze their hysterics, watching as Ribombee's kiss sent Golisopod falling unconscious.

"Wow…" Absol murmured. "You really swept him off his feet with that kiss."

"Seriously, dude," Meowstic added, nodding with amazement. "You need to teach me how to kiss." After a wince, he said, "I didn't mean that in the way that it sounded."

Ribombee smiled sheepishly. "Draining Kiss."

" _Oh!_ " Absol exclaimed with understanding.

"And here I thought it was the start of an ambiguous gay relationship," Meowstic chuckled, before reaching out and slapping Absol with a Fake Out.

Stunned by the move, Absol froze suddenly, and Meowstic grabbed Ribombee by the arm.

"Quick! Let's run!"

 **0000**

" **Poor Golisopod," Meowstic sympathised, bending over with laughter. "He's going to feel exactly like Lucario did; except he'll probably remember being kissed by Ribombee, and that'll be the last memory he had before he knocked himself unconscious."**

 **His eyes twinkled with mischief.**

" **Oh, Arceus, maybe I can convince him that he and Ribombee had a one-night-stand!"**

 **0000**

"Alright!" Noctowl called out, her feathers ruffled. "Who did it?"

Salazzle gave her a lazy glance. "Did what?"

"Took the biscuits!" she answered, looking horrified. "The food… It's all gone!"

"Didn't we have Lycanroc looking after it?" Incineroar asked, peering over to see whether the food had really disappeared. "Where the fuck is he, anyways?"

Suddenly, Lycanroc stumbled into the area, flabbergasted. "They were there… Then there was blue… A portal… And gone!"

"Oh dear," Noctowl sighed. "He's talking nonsense again."

Salazzle propped a hand onto her hip. "Lycanroc, where did the food go? The only food we had left for our team?"

"Pumpkaboo and Mimikyu took it!" Lycanroc exclaimed, raising his hands in surrender.

"They can't have," Incineroar snorted. "They didn't even come in our base through the entrance, which is the only way through seeing that our base is basically a cave. You're lying."

Noctowl glared at Lycanroc, moving forwards. "Lycanroc, _where_ is our food?"

She, Salazzle and Incineroar began circling around the wolf, their eyes narrowed with suspicion.

His face contorting with fear, Lycanroc threw his hands up with alarm.

"I swear to Lord Magikarp, it wasn't me! I didn't do anything!"

Suddenly, they all backed off.

 **0000**

" **Huh…" Incineroar grunted. "He** _ **can**_ **speak normally."**

 **0000**

" **I can't believe someone managed to take the food which I had organised so neatly!" Noctowl burst out, devastated. "That's it. I'm creating and leading an army. We're going to war."**

 **0000**

Lurantis was sitting atop a tree branch, leaning lazily against the trunk as he watched the chaos and turmoil of the cast around him from a distance.

"Having fun up there?"

He glanced down, frowning at the disruption, before grinning to find that it was only Espeon.

"Espeon," he stated. "I don't suppose you happen to be carrying a portable chessboard, are you?" He leapt down from the tree, his brow arched.

"I hate to break it to you, Lurantis," Espeon sighed apologetically. "But I've got a new chess partner."

Lurantis clucked his tongue. "Shame."

"But," she continued, watching the grass-type with analytical eyes. "I happened to hear that you have an immunity picture in your possession."

"That is correct, yes."

Espeon grinned. "I came to offer you a trade." She pulled out a sack, filled with berries, and threw it in front of her. "I collected a hell load of berries. You give me the immunity, and I'll give you the berries."

Feeling his stomach growl at the sight of the food, Lurantis frowned. "Why would I want a mere sack of berries in return for immunity?"

"Because it'll make you a martyr," Espeon explained. "You can feed your team with this. You may be the reason your team wins, even. They wouldn't need to vote you out, nor would you need the immunity. You'd be their hero. You were their hero last challenge, when you found the hidden intentions behind the Ditto, but this would solidify their beliefs even more."

"Why don't you do that?" Lurantis retorted. "You give your team the berries, and bask in the praise they give you for feeding them, and leave me with the immunity? It's equally as ideal a situation for you as it is for me. You wouldn't need the immunity if you had the berries."

Espeon shook her head. "The immunity isn't for me, though."

"Who's it for, then?"

"A friend."

Lurantis grinned, bemused. "You've made a friend, have you?"

"Yeah," Espeon drawled. "Crazy, right?"

"Does this 'friend' of yours happen to also be your new chess partner?"

Espeon nodded her head, her expression blank.

"Lord have mercy on your new friend, then," Lurantis snickered, before throwing the photo at her. "Take it. Consider it a thank you for saving me from having to be babysat by Nanny Pancham for a full day."

Grinning brightly, Espeon lunged for the image before stalking off.

 **0000**

" **It may have been a stupid decision," Lurantis pointed out. "But Espeon would make a good member of a future alliance. It would be better to stay on her good side."**

 **He opened the sack of berries, and suddenly froze, his grin immediately transforming into a scowl.**

" **They're fucking Iapapa berries!"**

 **0000**

 **Espeon was grinning proudly. "Iapapa berries confuse everyone except for Pokémon who like sour food. I thought it was apt, seeing what a sour Pokémon Lurantis himself is. But if he gives it to anyone else in his team, they'll all probably be a confused, chaotic mess for the rest of the challenge."**

 **0000**

Zoroark, Banette, Magikarp, Mimikyu, Musharna, Primarina and Pumpkaboo sat in a circle, relishing the sugary flavour as the biscuits disintegrated into little crumbs on their tongues.

"Food is so much more delicious when it's stolen," Pumpkaboo declared, her words barely audible with the food in her mouth.

"And when you're eating it with your gal pals," Banette agreed.

Magikarp cleared his throat.

"Wait, what _are_ you, anyways?" Primarina asked. "Because, everyone says you're a he, but I remember there was a point in time where you were only called It."

"I am the Lord," Magikarp responded. "That is all you need to know."

Zoroark shrugged. "Welcome to the Gal Pal Club, then. Enjoy your stay. Most guys would kill for this opportunity."

"Especially Lucario," Mimikyu added with a cheeky grin. "What was up with him and Stunfisk?"

"Not sure," Pumpkaboo confessed. "Maybe Musharna knows. Musharna? What's up between Stunfisk and Lucario?"

Musharna blinked. "Oh…? Who…?"

" _Stunfisk and Lucario_."

"..."

"She's sleeping."

Primarina smiled sympathetically. "I can hardly blame her. She must be exhausted after all that portal work-"

"Shhh!" Banette suddenly hushed everyone, straining her ears. "I think I hear someone."

Two voices were bickering to the side, and the group quickly hid behind the nearest undergrowth, leaning in to listen.

"Noctowl, this is absurd," Haxorus began. "They've probably already eaten the biscuits, so maybe we shouldn't go finding them."

"But I spent _so long_ organising those biscuits," Noctowl protested. "Besides, we can't just stay back and defend the base - there is no food left to defend! We have to step up and go find some food."

Haxorus nodded. "Actually, fair enough. I would kill for some food right now. Especially some ice-cream, because goodness, the way it just _melts_ in your mouth-"

"It's ice-cream. Isn't it supposed to melt?"

Banette gave her group a pointed look. "They're getting closer. We have to run-"

Just as she said it, Pumpkaboo had tripped against a branch, tumbling onto Musharna, who was stretching languorously. All of them winced as Pumpkaboo and Musharna fell to the ground with a thump, the sound deafeningly loud.

"What was that?" Noctowl hissed.

Zoroark grimaced, scooping Magikarp, Mimikyu and Pumpkaboo from the ground. "Let's go."

"I'll stay..."

They all turned to face Musharna, who was straightening up her posture. "I'll distract them… You guys run…"

"I'll stay, too," Banette offered.

"Me too!" Pumpkaboo insisted, but Zoroark clamped a hand over her mouth.

"You're injured," Zoroark pointed out. "Not a chance."

Exchanging a glance with Banette, Zoroark stood up with the three Pokémon in her arms, before darting away. Primarina followed suit, offering to hold Magikarp.

Banette stood up and squared her shoulders.

"Is that you, Banette?" Haxorus asked, squinting as she began to approach the ghost-type. "And Musharna? Isn't it… um… past your bedtime?"

Musharna blinked. "It's always past my bedtime…"

"Well…" Noctowl began, frowning. "Do you have my food?"

"Yep!" Banette answered, pointing at her stomach. "Right here."

Noctowl's face fell. "My… precious… organising." Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she smiled. "Okay. Let's kill them, Haxorus."

Her wing began to glow, ready to unleash a Wing Attack, when suddenly, Musharna came flying out of the shadows, aiming a Psybeam that sent Haxorus dropping to the ground in a scrambled mess to dodge.

Musharna clung onto Haxorus, though, attempting to use Hypnosis.

"Get off!" Haxorus howled, her claws glowing as she scratched Musharna with a Dragon Claw. Musharna felt a flare of pain as the claws scratched her skin, but clung on doggedly.

Suddenly, Noctowl swooped from above, grabbing Musharna with her talons and throwing her off Haxorus.

"Are you alright?" Noctowl asked her friend, eyes brimming with concern.

Haxorus waved away the concern. "I'm good. Let's just-" She froze suddenly, her eyes widening as she watched Musharna and Banette stand together, they eyes closed with focus as a pink beam left their arms.

Gasping with horror, she realised that they were both aiming a Dazzling Gleam straight for her and Noctowl. The two beams combined, becoming a thick beam of light, sparking with power.

"RUN! WE NEED TO RUN!" Haxorus shrieked, reaching out and grabbing Noctowl by the wing.

Noctowl shook her head stubbornly. "No! I am not giving in! I will avenge my organisation skills-" she yelped as a beam of Dazzling Gleam just narrowly missed her head.

Without another word, Haxorus clasped onto Noctowl's talons and began dragging the bird away, sprinting as fast as she could away into the depths of the forest.

Musharna and Banette exhaled deeply, before exchanging exhausted but relieved grins with each other.

"For someone with stubby hands, they have lots of power!" Banette praised.

Musharna tilted her head. "Oh…? Did you say something…?"

"I said you have great hands!"

"No, I do not have prostate glands… Sorry…"

 **0000**

 **Banette huffed. "When you try your best, but you don't succeed…"**

 **0000**

Buneary scampered around with a basket, sighing as she bent down to pick up Oran berries from the nearest shrub. Froslass had offered to come with her, but she refused the offer with a glare.

After all, Froslass had been the one in the way of her and Gastly's friendship, had she not?

"If only Gastly was still here," she murmured, almost fondly. "He was a brilliant cook. He'd be able to make us food from thin air."

She smiled at the thought of him, but wiped the grin from her face immediately.

Every time she thought of him, she'd feel a pang of agony in her stomach, and though she was pretty sure she had deciphered exactly what emotion she was feeling, she couldn't help but wonder _why_ she was feeling it.

Guilt.

Like it was her fault.

Sighing again, she moved onto the next shrub.

"This is the problem with ghost-types," she muttered. "Even when they're gone, they haunt you."

* * *

"Fresh meat, hoo hah hah!" Tor chanted, circling around Skitty, his face malicious.

Egg frowned. "Isn't it Shark Bait, hoo hah hah…?"

"Stick to the script, Egg," Ex sighed.

From the side, Stunfisk and Espeon were watching as the Egg Brothers continued to encircle Skitty, the poor feline's eyes wide with worry.

"We need to save her," Stunfisk whispered.

Espeon arched a brow. "Since when did you become so protective over your own team-members?"

"She helped me back when I was struggling with Lucario," Stunfisk explained. "And she talked some sense into me a few nights ago. I owe her this much."

"We shouldn't do this, Stunfisk. Those Egg Brothers are suspicious as fuck already, and I doubt we'd be able to save her without causing more chaos."

Stunfisk frowned. "But _look_ at them! They look so hungry, they might _eat_ her!" She wrenched herself away from Espeon, and immediately began barging forwards.

The air was electric as she stormed up, the sun almost set, with the sky the dark blue of winter dusk. As she approached closer, her eyes widened as she took in the scene.

Skitty was being held on the block by Exeggutor, who was kneeling beside her prone figure. Worse, the Exeggutor was already aiming a Wood Hammer towards Skitty.

Stunfisk reacted instinctively, spitting a blob of mud that took Exeggutor right in the gut and blasted them off their feet. As they collapsed onto the ground, Espeon sprinted in and kicked Tor in the side of his head with a sharp crack, knocking him out cold.

Despite this, the palm tree stood up tall, with Egg and Ex still conscious. They charged forwards, throwing a Seed Bomb at Espeon and sending her down to the ground. Before Exeggutor could aim at Stunfisk, though, Espeon had stretched her leg out, watching with amusement as the tree tripped over her paws and fell to the ground.

The band over Exeggutor's head began to glow again, and within seconds, they were already up again, advancing toward Stunfisk. Blanching, the ground-type stepped backwards, panicking.

"You can do it, Stunfisk!" Skitty chirped rather cheerfully for someone who was tied to a wooden block. "Sic 'em!"

Stunfisk smiled at the thought, and released a thunder bolt towards Exeggutor. It landed, shocking them, their body swinging back and forth until it collapsed right onto Skitty.

The small feline struggled wildly beneath them, hissing as she realised her tail was buried beneath the body of the Egg Brothers.

Stunfisk helped Skitty release her tail, but as she was doing so, the side of her head erupted in pain and she was sent rolling back. Exeggutor's face swam into focus, foot raised, ready to stomp.

"We're about to make you even _more_ ugly," Tor spat. "If that's even possible."

Ex pouted. "There is no such thing as ugly-"

"You're right," Tor suddenly agreed. "No such thing as being ugly when you're dead!"

"Then explain this to me!" A voice cried out from behind, and Stunfisk watched with admiration as Skitty used Feint on Exeggutor, the stooges screaming as they landed on the ground with a thud, the wind knocking out of their gut.

Stunfisk and Skitty began running towards the exit, when they heard Exeggutor speak again.

"Not… so… fast…" one of the murmured, before beginning to source a solar beam.

Espeon jumped in front of Stunfisk and Skitty in a flash, creating a barrier between them through the use of the move Protect. The beam slammed into the wall, and to the girls' relief, the barrier held.

"Let's go!" Stunfisk ordered, and the three of them continued running, not daring to turn back.

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk was panting, her mouth gaping open as she gasped for air. "I… did not… sign up for this…"**

 **0000**

"That should be enough berries to last our team a full week," Buneary declared with an exhausted sigh, straightening up as she picked up her basket. As she turned, though, her eyes locked with both Primarina and Magikarp, their faces lighting up with recognition.

They careened towards Magikarp, and cradling the basket close to her chest, Buneary scowled.

"Do you guys _really_ think you can take on me?"

Primarina smiled. "Well, depends on the methods. Right, Magikarp?"

"Correct, indeed."

Suddenly, a large wave began to rise behind Primarina, and Buneary gasped as she backed away.

" _Surf_?" Buneary spat. "How can you use surf in the middle of a forest? Where does the water even come from?"

"We don't talk about logic here," Primarina answered with a wink.

Then, the wave began to crash towards Buneary.

The bunny didn't think twice before running, jostling past the trees and turning towards the nearest pathway she could find. Then, she stopped short, her heart hammering in her chest.

It was a dead end.

She could already hear Primarina and Magikarp's voices, with the sound of angry waves soaring behind the voices. As she turned, she gulped to see the wave of water just above her, ready to crash down-

"Not under my watch, no."

Suddenly, as the voice behind her whispered that, the wave of water froze in mid-air, beginning to solidify into ice. The ice not only layered over the water, but also spread over the Primarina and Magikarp, freezing them into place. Buneary reached out and tapped the ice, her jaw dropping as she turned around.

"Froslass?" she asked, dismayed.

The ice-type smiled at her. "That's my name."

"No, it's your species."

"Same thing."

They stared at each other awkwardly.

"Are you hurt?" Froslass asked gently.

"Oh, so we're playing nice now?" Buneary suddenly asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Shall we have tea now? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?"

Froslass arched a brow. "Look, I know you're probably upset with me, but…"

"This is no time for worrying about who is upset," Buneary cut off, shrugging. "We have a challenge to finish. Let's go give these berries to our team members."

* * *

"Contestants!" Shaymin's voice called over the loudspeaker. "You should know that there is a pillar in the middle of our island! On that pillar is a large platter of food!"

"It's definitely a trap," Haxorus told Noctowl, as the pair rested on the ground, exhausted from sprinting away from Musharna and Banette. "There will be lots of Pokémon there, and it'll end up being a bloodbath."

Noctowl nodded in agreement. "And that'll be a bigger mess to clean up."

However, several Pokémon had arrived at the pillar immediately: Salazzle, Espeon, Meowstic and Zoroark.

"The rules are simple," Shaymin explained to the four, who were greedily glancing at the top of the pillar. "First Pokémon to the top has to stay there for ten seconds. If they manage to stay up there, you win the big buffet for your team to eat." She gestured towards the sun, which was already beginning to sink into the ground. "And since most of you haven't eaten all day, it's only a matter of moments before someone falls unconscious."

Meowstic, using his levitation ability, was already zipping towards the pillar. Even Zoroark had transformed herself into Shaymin, flying up towards the top.

"Oh, shit," Salazzle muttered towards Espeon. "Seriously? The two Pokémon who _can't_ fly from our team just happen to be the ones to come."

"Doesn't matter," Espeon dismissed. Her eyes locking on Zoroark, the air shivered as Espeon used Psychic, using it to knock Zoroark out of the air, the dark-type tumbling into the rocks below.

Salazzle seized the opportunity to gallop through the rocks, dodging as Meowstic frantically shot a Psybeam at her from above. The sand erupted around her, and rocks shattered, sending razor sharp shards exploding like shrapnel.

As Salazzle took a flying leap towards the pillar, Zoroark sent a blast of Dark Pulse towards her, hitting the reptile and sending her rolling behind a rocky outcrop near the pillar's base. Salazzle groaned as the dull throb of pain resonated through her body.

Meowstic himself had already landed on the ground, preferring to be on the floor safely rather than exposed to all sorts of attacks in the air.

Remembering the communication device attached to her, Salazzle spoke to Espeon through it.

"I need you to somehow get rid of Meowstic and Zoroark," the reptile whispered furiously. "They can fly up there, and I can't."

Salazzle froze then, seeing an Unfazent right in front of her, crouching silently under the overhang of a large rock. Salazzle grinned; there was no Unfazent in this competition.

"Hey Zoroark," Salazzle breathed, before feeling fire roil behind her tongue. Suddenly, she unleashed a flamethrower at the Zoroark, catching her in a whirlwind of fire, crashing against the face of a rock.

"That's one cooked turkey!" Meowstic hooted from above.

Zoroark glared at him as a stone trapped her to the ground. "Screw you!"

They all glanced up to see that Meowstic was already at the top of the pillar, peeking over the far ledge.

Salazzle was already racing towards the pillar, but she wasn't going to make it in time. Espeon had tried using Psychic on Meowstic to knock him off, but she could barely angle her move past the rocks that barricaded her sight.

"Ten, nine, eight…" Meowstic counted.

Espeon hissed at him. Gritting her teeth, she summoned all the energy she could, not releasing it until she was certain of its strength.

"Seven, six, five…" Meowstic continued, barely disguising his glee.

Espeon howled before firing a Psybeam, the air above her distorting and shaking.

"Four, three, two…" Meowstic's pace had quickened as he saw the beam approaching him, unsure of how to dodge the attack without falling off the pillar.

The beam hurled him off the pillar, and the top of the pillar shattered like porcelain, blasting Meowstic away in a roaring maelstrom of dust and splinters of stone.

Salazzle darted up the pillar, then, leaping onto the tray of food before it could fly off the remaining bits of the pillar. She clung onto it, but knew that she was safe. Both Zoroark and Meowstic were far too injured to reach her.

"And the food goes to the Groudons!" Shaymin announced. "But the challenge isn't over yet. We still need someone to fall unconscious, someone who hasn't been knocked unconscious by someone from the enemy team."

Salazzle whooped, and winked at Espeon, who rolled her eyes but smirked.

 **0000**

" **Goddammit," Espeon groaned. "Why do people have to be so goofy all the time?"**

 **0000**

"That looks _delicious_ ," Haxorus praised, holding her belly. "I can't wait to eat it!"

"Neither can I!" Noctowl agreed, grabbing a small container of oil. "What's this? Is it supposed to be salad dressing?"

The container cracked in her talons, the lid breaking. Noctowl winced and quickly put the container back down, hoping that no one noticed the broken lid.

"Incineroar, Lycanroc and Shroomish are missing," Absol pointed out, frowning. "Should we wait for them?"

"You can do that," Buneary stated. "I'm going to eat. I'm starved-"

Stunfisk shook her head. "No. First we must pray, then eat."

"I never realised you were religious," Froslass said with a smirk. "I always thought you worshipped yourself, and that was about it."

"I always pray when I eat," Stunfisk informed her. "How else will Arceus Above know how grateful I am for being so gorgeous?"

Froslass deadpanned, and Stunfisk chuckled slightly.

"Don't worry, I'm only kidding. Let's eat!"

* * *

"Okay, troops," Pumpkaboo was saying, calling out to the rest of her team. Somehow, they had managed to gather their entire team, except a frozen Magikarp and Primarina, and were all standing outside the base of the Groudons. "Those guys inside have managed to get themselves a feast. But we can go inside and steal their buffet from them. The food shall be ours, and we shall reign!"

The Kyogres cheered slightly to spark some motivation. Unbeknownst to them, however, Incineroar, Lycanroc and Shroomish were watching from the side.

"They're going to try getting our food," Incineroar hissed, pointing at the Kyogres.

"I know," Shroomish replied. "They look like they're ready to perform an execution."

Lycanroc clenched his fists, his body tensing as if he were about to jump. "Let's fight them!"

"No!" Shroomish cried out, alarmed. "There's too many of them. First we have to see what they want and need."

At the same time, the three of them heard Ribombee speak.

"So, what's the plan, anyways?"

"We're going to set them on fire," Pumpkaboo chirped, grinning. "A few of us know some fire-type moves, we we're going to go in, ambush them and burn their food to bits. They won't have anything to eat."

Shroomish's jaw dropped, and he turned to Lycanroc and Incineroar. "Did you guys hear that?"

"I'm right next to you," Incineroar gruffly replied. "Of course I heard it."

"They're going to set the place on fire!" Lycanroc exclaimed.

Incineroar eyed the Kyogres, his eyes calculating. "We need to warn our team-members. The telecommunication devices-"

"I'm trying that right now, but no one has theirs switched on. They already think we've won or something," Shroomish explained, shaking his head. "We're the only three who still have theirs on."

A broad grin spread up Lycanroc's face. "I have an idea.

Incineroar and Shroomish exchanged concerned looks.

"Uh-oh."

 **0000**

" **Lycanroc's plan…" Incineroar began, rubbing his forehead. "It's genius!"**

 **0000**

" **Lycanroc's plan is terrible!" Shroomish burst, his features contorted with frustration. "Why do I have to be the guinea pig?"**

 **Shroomish frowned. "Seriously?** _ **Seriously**_ **? Just because I'm small and tiny, doesn't mean I can be used as some sort of sacrificial lamb!"**

 **0000**

"This is a terrible idea," Shroomish groaned, but Lycanroc and Incineroar were no longer listening.

Incineroar slapped Lycanroc's back proudly. "Okay, so all Shroomish has to do is sneak through the Kyogres and get into our base, and make sure everyone in our base knows."

"I can't believe you expect me to sneak through a bunch of Pokémon. Just because I'm small, doesn't mean I'm subtle-"

It was too late for his argument, though. Lycanroc and Incineroar had already burst out of the bushes, beginning to brawl several of the Pokémon there.

"At least I'm not the distraction," Shroomish sighed, before hobbling out of the bushes. He winced as he saw Incineroar slam a fist into Pumpkaboo's face, but continued running into the cave, hoping that no one saw him.

It only took him moments to reach his group, who were seated in a circle, holding hands and… praying?

"Um, guys?" he called out.

"Shhh!" Haxorus hissed. "We're praying."

Shroomish exchanged a confused look with Espeon, who merely shrugged. "Don't ask me."

"Okay, then," Shroomish said. "I hate to break your prayer circle, but we _really_ need to get out of here, otherwise-"

"Be quiet, Shroomish," Haxorus repeated again. "We're praying."

His eyes narrowing, Shroomish felt his patience snap. He dragged himself to the centre of the circle, and released a Seed Bomb, aiming it towards the ceiling.

The rocks from the ceiling began to tomb down, forcing everyone to snap open their eyes.

"What is it?" Absol asked hastily. "What was that for?"

"THE KINKY KYOGRES ARE OUTSIDE OUR BASE AND ARE PLANNING ON SETTING YOU ALL ON FIRE!" Shroomish yelled, panting. "WE NEED TO RUN!"

The rest of the Groudons exchanged understanding looks. " _Ohhhhh_ …"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Golisopod snapped. "RUN!"

They all began to rush out of the cavern, and just as they did, the Kyogres had finally managed to overpower Lycanroc and Incineroar, tossing them onto the ground before running into the cave.

The two teams met halfway, the Kyogres attempting to snatch the food from the Groudons hands, and the Groudons trying to hurtle past them.

"Give me thy salad!" Pumpkaboo demanded, glaring at Noctowl.

Noctowl smiled weakly, before handing over a bowl of salad. Her smile widened, then. "Would you also like some olive oil with that?"

"That would be lovely, thank you," Pumpkaboo answered, smiling triumphantly as Noctowl handed her a small container.

"Shake it well," Noctowl told her.

Pumpkaboo did exactly that. However, she hadn't expected the lid to be broken, and the lid fell off immediately, the oil splattering across her face.

"My eyes!" Pumpkaboo growled.

 **0000**

" **Aha!" Noctowl cheered. "Sweet, sweet revenge! No one takes my organised biscuits!"**

 **0000**

The Groudons had managed to escape the cave, however, they were being chased by the Kyogres at their heel, the hunger for food driving them forwards.

Lurantis had locked his eyes onto Krokorok, and was chasing the reptile mercilessly.

"You've already taken away my immunity!" Krokorok cried out. "Leave my buns alone!"

Lurantis winced. "Please, phrase that a little better next time."

"At yeast he tried," Garchomp murmured, before grimacing herself. "Okay, I'll leave the puns for Skitty. That was awful."

"Garchomp," Lurantis greeted. "Here to help me get food off Krokorok?"

Garchomp shook her head, grinning. "Nope. I'm here to help him escape."

"Wha-"

"I challenge you, Lurantis, to a battle."

Lurantis snickered. "We're on the same team. I'd hardly call this an appropriate time to-"

The dragon-type ignored him, leaning against the pillar. "Don't tell me that you're a _coward_."

"It's called common sense," Lurantis drawled, but his eye was twitching with frustration.

"It's called being an embarrassment on live television, where your family and friends in the mafia can see you failing to stand up for yourself."

Garchomp grinned as she saw the calm slate that was Lurantis's face turn into something more vicious as he reached out and lunged forwards.

The first blow came from him, a Leaf Blade, which whistled around the corner, chopping at Garchomp's legs. Garchomp caught it with her scythe, before cutting at Lurantis's head. The grass-type ducked, leaving the blow to crunch into the pillar.

Scowling, Lurantis stepped further out and came at her head on, feinting another Leaf Blade around the pillar at Garchomp's head, then sweeping again for the legs. Garchomp leaped, letting the blade whistle under her feet. Landing in a crouch, she punched out and caught Lurantis on the cheek with a Dragon Claw, knocking the grass-type back a few paces.

They glared at each other, panting.

"You're going to regret this," Lurantis snarled, gesturing at the audience that was beginning to surround them. "Our team will see that you care more about your personal brawls than the goodwill of our team."

Garchomp ignored him, but a cold sweat trickled down her back.

Lurantis reached out and stabbed at Garchomp's stomach, but Garchomp caught the scythe in her own, forcing it to the ground. They struggled, chest to chest, until Garchomp glanced up at the sky, then whipped her head forwards, smashing Lurantis on the bridge of his nose with a head-butt. Lurantis stumbled, and then fell, flailing, over the side.

"Give up, Lurantis," Garchomp told him. "I know what you did to Charizard and Vespiquen."

Suddenly, the grass-type stood up, grinning as he swung his scythe. To Garchomp's surprise, he aimed his Leaf Blade towards the pillar, with chunks of clay crumbling from it as he continued to hit it.

" _You_ give up, Garchomp."

There was no time for Garchomp to even respond. With a crack, the pillar began to collapse in on itself, hairline fractures spreading up the column like forked lightning.

With seconds to spare, Garchomp leaped away, rolling into a crouch on the sand, the pillar crashing beside her, sending a storm of ceramic dust into the air.

She could see nothing except for dust, but forced herself to focus. A shadow went by on her left; was it Lurantis? Or someone else?

Suddenly, Lurantis burst from the dusty haze, swinging down hard. Just in time, Garchomp dodged aside, feeling the Leaf Blade graze against her arm. Before she had to chance to fight back, Lurantis disappeared again, blending into the dusty gloom.

She spun around, looking for the shadow once more, jerking up as she saw a figure move from her peripheral vision. She squinted, watching, as the dull figure raised its arm. A rock came flying out of the fog, cracking her on the forehead. Stars burst across her vision, and she was on her back, staring into the billowing dust.

Garchomp began to stand, but a foot pressed down on her throat.

"You asked for a battle, Garchomp." Lurantis's voice was faint as he spoke. "Maybe you should have thought that through first, rather than acting without thinking."

"Oh, trust me," Garchomp snarled back. "I've been thinking _a lot_ lately."

Her hand scrabbled for a rock, anything, but all she could feel was sand. Lurantis raised his scythe, a Solar Blade ready, his grin stark white against the dust that coated his skin.

"Good night, Garchomp."

Garchomp grinned.

"Goodnight, Lurantis."

Garchomp hurled a handful of sand at Lurantis's face, causing the grass-type to clutch for his eyes and spin away, blinded. Garchomp got to her feet unsteadily, then, with her last ounce of strength, tackled Lurantis to the ground. There was a thud as the grass-type's head slammed against a rock, then silence.

Lurantis was unconscious.

"Sand attack, bitches!" Garchomp cheered, before Shaymin appeared in her view, frowning.

"Since Lurantis has been knocked unconscious, it looks like the Groudons win!"

By then, the entire cast had gathered around to see the brawl between Garchomp and Lurantis. Hearing Shaymin's announcement, Pumpkaboo's jaw dropped.

" _What_?" she exclaimed. "But you said that if someone is knocked unconscious by someone else, it doesn't count-"

"Nope," Shaymin refuted. "I said that it wouldn't count if someone is knocked unconscious by someone from the _other_ team. Garchomp and Lurantis are on the same team. So… Groudons have won another challenge!"

 **0000**

" **What the fuck, Garchomp?" Meowstic asked, his mouth agape with confusion. "Was that** _ **really**_ **necessary?"**

 **0000**

 **Banette groaned. "Even Lurantis should know better not to fight back. What the hell was that? We literally had one job as a team! One job!"**

 **0000**

"Well," Shaymin began, sighing dramatically. "I think I can officially say that the Kinky Kyogres _suck_."

"I'd agree with that," Zoroark smirked.

Pumpkaboo frowned. "No! Our team is beauty, our team is grace-"

"Your team has declared you safe, Pumpkaboo," Shaymin interrupted, watching with amusement as the flower Bellossom threw smacked straight into Pumpkaboo's face. "Others who are safe include: Lucario, Banette, Primarina, Musharna, Meowstic, Zoroark, Mimikyu, Ribombee, Exeggutor and Magikarp."

The Pokémon whose names were called sat up immediately (or were carried, for Magikarp's sake), and moved to the side, leaving Garchomp and Lurantis remaining.

"You two totally screwed your team over by fighting with each other," Shaymin pointed out. "But since Garchomp initiated the fight, it's no surprise that she had nine votes, while Lurantis only had four. So Garchomp, I'm sorry, but you've been eliminated."

Garchomp sighed, and sat up, resigned. She had already begun stalking away, when she suddenly halted in her tracks.

"Wait," Garchomp said. "Before I go, can I ask you something, Shaymin?"

Shaymin nodded her head. "Um… sure?"

"Who was in this photograph with you before you ripped it in half?"

Everyone's eyes widened except for Shaymin, who squinted at the image. "Let's see… I think it was my college buddy… Victini, maybe? Or was it… Hang on a second! That's the immunity picture!"

Garchomp grinned. "Oh, it is? How lucky for me!"

"No," Lurantis scowled, leaping up. "How did you get that? I gave that to Espeon-"

"And Espeon gave it to her new chess partner," Garchomp finished, winking. "Like I said, I did think it through. I wasn't going to fight you unless I could guarantee my own safety."

The two stared at each other, and Shaymin cleared her throat.

"Well, looks like, since Garchomp is safe, Lurantis is next in line on the chopping board." She snatched the flower away from him. "Bacon Pants, the Dock of Shame awaits you."

Garchomp gave one final, innocent wave towards the mantis.

"Checkmate."

 **0000**

" **She'll regret it," Lurantis hissed. "Both her and Espeon will regret losing their best chance at getting near to the merge."**

 **He rolled his head, sighing.**

" **I suppose if I had to choose** _ **anyone**_ **to win, I'd choose Magikarp. For a weak fish, he really knows how to handle this competition," he admitted. "And I would know better than anyone that looks can be deceiving."**

 **0000**

Krokorok folded his arms, trying to keep his face straight as Bellossom dragged him into her room. He found himself inside a shabby but cosy little room, with nothing but a small bed in it.

"Alright," Krokorok started. "So why did you need to invite me to your room?" He arched his brow. "We're not getting up to something naughty, are we?"

Bellossom flushed, waving away his suggestion. "No! I just needed to…" she gestured at the bed.

"You're pointing at the bed, Bellossom. That screams 'naughty' to me."

"Just look at it!"

Sighing but grinning, Krokorok turned to glance at the bed. His jaw dropped when he saw the small Ditto there, smiling goofily at him.

"Are you my daddy?"

Krokorok nearly fell over. "Wait, no, little Ditto? I thought Shaymin had you executed!"

"She was supposed to," Bellossom explained. "But I couldn't do it. He's just a baby, Krokorok. He only wants a mother."

With that, the baby Ditto transformed into an Oddish, squealing happily as it leaped into Bellossom's arms.

"I needed to tell you, Krokorok," Bellossom said, frowning. "Just in case Shaymin makes me work, and I have no time for our little baby, I figured I could trust you to help me look after him."

Krokorok tried to pretend that he did not hear the words _'our little baby_ '.

"Um, sure," Krokorok replied, blinking. "If the baby needs a bed, I could keep him in my sock drawer." He chuckled when Bellossom smacked him. "I'm just kidding; relax."

Snorting back her laughter, Bellossom looked at the small Oddish affectionately. "What should we name him? I feel like it should be… symbolic."

"Pancake batter?"

"No."

"Mop bucket?"

"No."

Krokorok clucked his tongue. "We may as well name him Otto at this point, since you're being so picky-"

"Otto," Bellossom repeated.

"Yeah, like a combination of Oddish and Ditto."

Bellossom smiled.

"It's perfect! Otto, the Guardian of Krokorok's Sock Drawer and the Slayer of Pancake Batter!"

* * *

Stunfisk was sitting at the cliff, gazing at the stars above her. She had never been a sentimental person - or, at least, she tried not to be - but she couldn't help but try facing the turmoil that was tumbling within her stomach.

"Why am I like this?" she whispered to herself, glancing down to the ground.

"Because that's who you were destined to be."

She whirled around to find Lucario smiling at her, waving his paw.

"Hey there, Stunfisk," he greeted. "Care if I join you?"

She wanted to say no; she really did. She couldn't face him. But, pushing down her frustration, she nodded her head. "Sure."

"Great." He sat beside her, tilting his head. "I was wondering if you could tell me exactly what happened between us in the challenge before today's challenge. I know you didn't say much before about it, and I don't mean to pester you, but I just need to know-"

"Why do you need to know?"

Lucario's eyes were so hopeful and innocent that Stunfisk felt her heart sink a little when he said, "Because I need to know whether I finally managed to win myself a girl, or not."

There was an awkward silence, and Stunfisk gritted her teeth.

"Sorry, Stunfisk. I mean, I probably shouldn't pester you so much, but I really want to-"

"I used Attract on you."

Lucario's jaw dropped. " _What_?"

"You heard me," Stunfisk bitterly began. She felt so _angry_ , but why, she could not understand why. She certainly wasn't angry at Lucario, but rather, at herself. "I used Attract on you. I manipulated you. I lied to you. I made you do everything for me for a day. I treated you like a slave! And you… you were happy about it, because you didn't even know what was happening! Yeah, it was a bitch thing to do. I know. Go ahead. Scream at me. Yell at me. It was stupid, it was selfish, yadda yadda. Go on. I'm ready. Hit me with whatever you've got."

"So you can call me a bastard again?" Lucario retorted. "Not a chance."

Stunfisk eyed him as they sat in silence, watched as the fighting-type held his head and thought.

"Besides," Lucario began, after minutes of silence. "I kind of get it."

Then it was Stunfisk's turn to look stunned. " _What_?"

"You're not the only Pokémon who thought they were destined to be forever alone, you know."

"I…" Stunfisk trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Lucario shook his head. "But I can't be your boyfriend, Stunfisk. I can't be that smooth, sexy Pokémon that you were with while I was under your spell."

"You were never smooth to begin with, Lucario." She cracked a weak, tentative grin.

He released a small laugh. "That's a relief. But… Let's start again. How about we go for a walk and get to know each other? As friends." Seeing her face brighten up, he added, "Though, if you feel any spontaneous desire to be swept away in my arms and kiss me passionately, don't be shy."

Stunfisk laughed. "You're funny."

"My, my, did _the_ Stunfisk just compliment someone for the first time?"

"Don't get used to it."

 **0000**

" **You know," Lucario began. "The friend-zone isn't so bad."**

 **0000**

Lurantis sighed as he heaved his luggage onto the boat, glaring at the island one last time as he snickered for the final time on that freshly cropped grass.

Suddenly, he halted as he heard a rumbling sound echo from the other end of the island. He glanced up at the nearest mountain, and gasped.

There was a large circle, shaped like a wheel, at the top of the hill, already beginning to roll its way down towards him. The wheel rolled and rolled, gaining momentum, and Lurantis cursed as he analysed the wheel, examined the diagrams on the edges.

It was a Wheel of Fortune, he noticed with dismay.

The wheel tripped against a rock, and was sent soaring into the air, the shadow of it hovering over his body. Lurantis swore as he felt the wheel become a victim of gravity, falling straight on top of him.

The Wheel of Fortune had literally fallen on him.

" _In the end, the Wheel of Fortune crushes us all._ "

* * *

 **Tomato Soup: Ding dong, the witch is dead! Whew, my laptop crashed as I wrote that elimination. My laptop seriously loves Lurantis. And, to my surprise, a lot of you people did too! I can't believe some of you will actually be distraught when he goes. XD I know I will. He was lots of fun to write. Thank you so, so much Magnemitegeek for submitting such a fabulous OC to write! I'll miss Bacon Pants dearly. What did all of you think of Lurantis? What do you think of Stunfisk and Lucario's friendship? And Otto, sweet little Otto? And Ribombee's first kiss? XD Please do tell me!**

 **Also, SAND ATTACK BITCHES. Seriously, Sand Attack pisses me off in the games because literally, everyone uses it against me and my Pokémon can never land a move after that. Don't underestimate the power of playing smart rather than strong, because intelligence is a strength in itself.**

 **27th Place: Lurantis (The Sadistic Mantis) - A villain, but one that was supposed to start the story off with a kick and… yeah. He made it through the first quarter, but that's where his reign ended. He actually did quite a lot, eliminating some very strong competitors: Ludicolo, Charizard, Pancham, and Vespiquen (inadvertently). Impressive feat, I say. I'll miss him very much.**

 **Also, thank you to Nihilego Fanatic for the title suggestion! :D**

 **Please pop a review! And I know I've said it before, but… FIFTY FOLLOWERS! *scream* I love you all. Please review, and I'll love you even more! I'll combust with love!**


	15. Chapter 15: The Leap of Fate

**Chapter XII: The Leap of Fate**

"You still don't like me!" Lucario exclaimed, exasperated. "I did try with you! And yet, you _still_ don't like me!"

Stunfisk sniffed. "The thing is, I tend to like very modest people? Humble, you know."

Lucario paused, considering Stunfisk for a moment, and then burst out laughing. He and Stunfisk had gone out for yet another stroll, probably their eighth one in the past week, and they were constantly bickering. To his relief, though, the bickering had been far less venomous than before; in fact, he would almost call it play-fighting. He turned to face her, a gratifying smile on his face, but quickly halted himself when he saw that Stunfisk was staring out into the distance, a frown plastered over her face.

"I was jealous of you," she murmured.

Warily, Lucario eyed her carefully, as if expecting a trick. "Of what?"

"Well, you're not considered an unholy abomination upon this island, are you?"

"Yes, but nobody but you is," Lucario pointed out cheekily, nudging her playfully. Seeing her frown turn into a wince, he hastily added, "But that's not a bad thing! You are our unique feature on the island, like a sculpture of a warrior Pidgey. If we had one of those. You disliked me before anybody considered you to be an unholy abomination anyways, so I suppose you're just trying to spare my feelings. That's really nice of you, considering how aloof you tend to be-"

Stunfisk snorted. "I'm not aloof. I don't know where you got that idea."

"All the aloofness, I think."

"See?" Stunfisk sighed, dismayed. "You're funny! I wish I could talk to people like you do. I wish I could smile at people and make them like me. I wish I could be so very charming. Well, no, I can't, because everyone is slightly terrified of me, but I wish I could do that just the same. How can you blame me for being jealous?"

"Wait," Lucario quickly interrupted. "Wait, wait, wait. You don't like me because I am _so very charming_?"

He threw his head back and laughed, laughing so much that he had to come and sit beside Stunfisk on the ground to subdue the pain in his gut he received from laughing too much.

"Stop it, Lucario," Stunfisk stumbled, but couldn't help but smile slightly as she watched him laugh. "Stop laughing. I am sharing my innermost feelings with you. This is very hurtful."

"I called you beastly," Lucario snickered. "And you thought I'm _charming_?"

Stunfisk slapped him with a small, flimsy flipper, but couldn't force the smile off her face.

 **0000**

" **She keeps denying it, but I definitely make her smile," Lucario commented with a wink, looking very pleased with himself.**

 **0000**

" **I'm not smiling," Stunfisk scowled. "I just happen to have brilliantly high cheekbones. That's all."**

 **0000**

The rest of the cast were seated around the cafeteria, attempting to make the best of the few berries scattered on their plate. Primarina was looking particularly restless, her eyes darting back and forth with concern.

Garchomp placed an arm on her. "Dude, are you okay? You seriously need to chill."

"I'm fine," Primarina reassured her, biting her lip. "I'm just looking for- Bellossom!"

Primarina leapt out of her seat and rushed towards Bellossom, who had just walked out of the kitchen, with Krokorok sheepishly following behind her.

"Waffles are totally better than pancakes," Bellossom was saying, an eyebrow arched teasingly at Krokorok.

Krokorok raised a hand to his chest with mock-hurt. "You wound me, Bellossom. Why would you choose waffles?"

"Well, I find that pancakes are too soft, you know?"

Krokorok grinned. "Ah, so you don't like things done softly?"

"Soft or not, it just depends on the _chef_ , if you know what I-"

"Um… guys?" Primarina piped up.

Bellossom and Krokorok whipped their heads around, Krokorok looking amused as Bellossom's face burned red. From the side, Garchomp couldn't help but muffle a laugh beneath her hand.

"Oh! Primarina! … Hi," Bellossom greeted almost shyly. "Krokorok and I were just, you know, talking about MasterChef-"

"We've started calling the chef 'Master' now, have we?"

"Shut up, Krokorok."

Primarina smiled awkwardly. "I don't really need to know. I was just wondering what you did to the baby Ditto. He is okay, right?"

Smiling fondly, Bellossom placed a gentle hand on Primarina. "Don't worry, Primarina. The Ditto is-" she halted herself as soon as she saw Shaymin burst through the door.

"Ditto is…?" Primarina urged.

"Ditto is dead," Bellossom hastily declared, her wide eyes resting on Shaymin. "I got rid of him."

Primarina's face fell. "You… you're lying, right? There is no way you would hurt an innocent baby."

Lowering her eyes, Bellossom kept her mouth shut.

"I expected better from you," Primarina murmured bitterly, shaking her head.

"Hey!" Krokorok snapped, stepping forwards. "I'll have you know that-"

"It's okay, Krokorok," Bellossom told him. "It's okay."

The two of them watched as Primarina stormed back to her table, furious.

"You okay?" Krokorok asked Bellossom, whose face was creased with worry and regret. "You can tell her the truth later, when Shaymin isn't in the room."

Bellossom closed her eyes. "I know. I just, Arceus, feel so horrible."

Reaching out, Krokorok held her hand tightly, giving her a reassuring squeeze. She smiled gratefully at him, before glancing quickly at Shaymin and pulling her hand away as the host began to turn her head towards her.

"Morning, Bellossom!" Shaymin greeted. "I assume you have the boats ready?"

"Yes, I do," the grass-type replied, shooing away Krokorok with her eyes.

"Brilliant." Shaymin flashed a grin before turning back to face her cast. "Morning, troops! I hope you're excited for another challenge! Today's challenge involves boats!"

Meowstic raised his hand. "Let me guess; a boat race?"

"Nope!" Shaymin answered proudly. "The goal of this challenge is to force the other team's boat to sink!"

"Isn't that… immoral?" Banette asked, grappling for words.

Shaymin glared at her. "Nobody gives a shit these days whether it is moral or fair. All that counts is: will it work and can you get away with it?"

The cast stared at Shaymin, forcing her to sniff uneasily.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get on your boats! Ahoy, me fuckers!"

* * *

Their jaws dropped with amazement, the cast couldn't cast their eyes away from the boats the stood before them. They looked like warships, sleek and deadly, with moulded steel and glittering armoured glass. The wings of their navigation bridges swept back elegantly, with boarding ladders swinging from the high twin towers.

"It's… amazing…" Haxorus gasped.

Stunfisk winked at Lucario. "Bootylicious?"

"Boat-ilicious," Skitty replied for him, wincing as Stunfisk playfully smacked her with her flipper.

"Once you guys are about a kilometre into the sea," Shaymin was explaining, "You may begin to attack each other. So, in other words, chop chop! Otherwise it will be a long day!"

 **0000**

" **We totally have this in the bag!" Skitty chirped. "How hard can it be to keep a boat afloat?"**

 **0000**

 **Haxorus was sidled up by the window, throwing up. After a while, she approached the camera. "I… fucking… hate being sea-si-"**

 **She suddenly choked, before rushing to the window and continuing to barf.**

 **0000**

"Oh my Arceus, guys," Absol was calling excitedly. "Look! There is even armour on this boat!"

His team crowded behind him, gasping at the metallic costume.

Incineroar removed the helmet, before snickering. "Oh, it's armour alright - but it seems to be fitted so that only someone the size of Shaymin can fit in here. It controls the legs and body from the head."

"We could use that to our advantage," Golisopod snarled. "I doubt that Pokémon as cowardly as Mimikyu or Ribombee would dare to step in and interfere with a knight. The knight can be our sacrifice for when they try to attack our boat."

"Yeah," Froslass agreed. "But we need someone who will actually _fit_ inside it."

They all exchanged curious looks, before grinning maliciously and turning to face Shroomish. The mushroom, as if expecting it, winched.

 **0000**

" **Well, fuck me, right?" Shroomish sighed, his voice deepened by the echo of the suit he was wearing. "But hey, not going to lie, I look pretty awesome, if I do say so myself."**

 **0000**

" **Armour!" Pumpkaboo was squealing, raising the suit of metal she had found on her boat. "FUCK YEAH!"**

 **0000**

"You are sick, Tor."

"I am not sick, Ex."

"Okay, fine. You are delusional, Tor."

The two brothers were glaring at each other, with Egg caught in the middle, looking helpless.

"What dream are you living in, Tor?" Ex demanded. "I get it. Magikarp had-"

Egg and Tor both corrected their brother before he could continue. " _Lord_ Magikarp."

" _Lord_ Magikarp," Ex corrected. "Had offered power and all, but are we seriously going to listen to _everything_ he says? This rainbow band doesn't even look good on us! It makes us look like bloody circus freaks!"

"But we can walk on water with it," Egg pointed out.

Ex glared at him. "So? I think that following his every order is stupid. He literally just told us to come onto the other team's ship, and you did it without even thinking through it! Or even telling our own team members! Isn't that a little, I dunno, _stupid_? Now we're on the enemy boat, and we're lost, and we're _right next to the plank_. Did we seriously have to listen to him?"

"Of course we have to listen to him!" Tor snapped back. "I have to! And, trust me, I know what is right for us."

"You know nothing, except what you are told by Magikarp!"

Before Tor could respond, a cold voice cut through the air like sharp steel.

"And is that not enough?"

The three of them turned their heads to find Lycanroc grinning at them, claws outstretched.

"Oh, shit," Ex cursed.

Egg blinked "All around me are familiar faces…"

"Oh, shut up," Tor growled. "It's only Lycanroc. What are you going to do? Ban us from riding your Meat Train?"

Ex winced. "... Ew."

Shaking his head, Lycanroc advanced the plank, causing the brothers to take a step back, closer to the edge. Lycanroc winked at them.

"I think I'm done with meat trains for now, and forever."

* * *

Meowstic eyed Lucario on the stern of their ship, watching with bemusement as his friend whistled a rather jaunty tune.

"I haven't seen you this cheerful in a while," Meowstic noted, arching a brow. "Have you gotten lucky already?"

Flushing at the comment, Lucario shot his friend a playful glare. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm still set to be the next Virgin Mary."

"Except for, you know, the fact that you can't actually bear children."

"Well, there goes my hopes and dreams," Lucario snickered, nudging his friend.

Meowstic grinned. "So… How was your walk with Stunfisk?"

"What walk?" Lucario asked abruptly, staring hard at the floor to avoid eye contact, trying hard to feign innocence.

"The one you went on this morning," Meowstic answered, grinning. "Or if you want to talk about all eleven of your walks, feel free to do so. And don't bother lying; we both know she stopped using Attract on you."

Lucario flushed. "I didn't go on a walk with her this morning."

"Where were you this morning, then?"

"Mongolia," Lucario answered a bit too abruptly, before hitting himself on the head. "Ugh, note to self: learn to be a less extreme liar."

Meowstic laughed. "No need to lie, dude. Just because she's on the other team, doesn't mean we're going to call you a traitor or anything. Relax. Just don't let your blossoming friendship get in the way of the challenges, yeah?"

Sighing exasperatedly, Lucario nodded in agreement.

"Besides," Meowstic added. "You could have at least said Japan, instead of Mongolia."

Lucario gave him a baffled look. "Why?"

"Because one day you can totally say 'Hey, Stunfisk, I want to get into Japanties'".

 **0000**

 **Lucario slammed his head onto the wall repeatedly. "Best… friends… are… officially… the… worst-"**

" **Dude!" Meowstic's voice called out from outside. "Stop banging your head against the wall! Save the banging for when you're in a nice, cozy room with Stunf-"**

 **Before the feline could finish, Lucario lunged forwards and switched off the camera.**

 **0000**

On the Groudon's ship, Exeggutor stood on the edge of the plank, startled as Lycanroc's eyes glittered with hatred.

"How dare you threaten your Lord's greatest ally?" Tor spat. "You have always been jealous of us. And now you seek to destroy us. Traitor!"

Levitating nearby was Banette, jaw dropped as she watched the Egg Brothers and Lycanroc face off. "That's where they are!" she muttered to herself. "They went off onto the boat. And now I need to save their asses. Wonderful. Just wonderful."

She watched as wild anger surged through Exeggutor, her team member, and widened her eyes as the band on their heads brightened. With horror, she watched as Lycanroc lunged forwards, only for his claws to be seared and blistered the moment in came into contact with Exeggutor's body.

"The fuck?" Lycanroc cursed, backing away. Then, he grinned. "It's a good thing that Shroomish's armour suit came with weapons."

Then it was Exeggutor's turn to back away, watching as Lycanroc drew a wickedly thin dagger. He advanced up the plank, leaving Exeggutor hobbling over the edge, trembling as they attempted to keep their balance.

Banette tentatively began to move towards them. While Exeggutor was a cheater who she was desperate to unveil, he was also her teammate. And perhaps, if they got past Lycanroc, they could get into the depths of the enemy boat, and actually work out a way to make their ship sink from the inside.

"Exeggutor!" she called out, floating down to where he stood on the plank.

Snorting at her, Lycanroc raised the dagger higher. "Great. Now I have two of you on the plank."

Suddenly, Banette peered past Lycanroc's shoulder. The next moment, she jumped back slightly, covering her mouth with her hand as if to smother a shriek.

"What is it?" snarled Lycanroc, suddenly alert.

Banette shook her head. "Nothing," she stammered. "I was mistaken. There is no one behind you."

"Oh, Banette, anyone can tell that you are lying," Ex groaned desperately. "Thanks to you, whoever has come to help us is doomed."

"Stay where you are, or you both are off the plank at once!" Lycanroc barked, before turning around to see what was behind him.

In the next instant, Banette had crouched behind him, thrown her arms around his knees, jerked his legs back and upwards and tipped him off the plank.

Exeggutor froze in shock, listening to Lycanroc's scream as he plunged into the violent sea below. The three of them stared, astounded, at Banette, who was turning to face them.

"What… What did you see that was behind Lycanroc?" Egg asked.

"Nothing," Banette shrugged, tossing her head. "As I had said. But I knew he would not trust me, and I knew he would be paranoid enough to turn around and check. So I used that against him."

Ex gazed at her in frank admiration. "Wow! Thanks, Banette!"

"It's no problem," Banette replied. "Let's just hurry and see what we can do on this boat before anyone else catches us."

 **0000**

" **While I don't trust them, I know that helping the team win is the biggest priority," Banette explained. "But if our team loses, my next priority is making sure that everyone knows about this insane Exeggutor and Magikarp scandal."**

 **0000**

" **Banette saved our ass," Ex pointed out, shaking his head. "I thought she couldn't stand us. I can't believe it."**

 **Egg seemed equally as confused. "I** _ **don't**_ **believe it."**

" **I** _ **won't**_ **believe it," Tor scowled.**

 **0000**

Shroomish sighed, feeling awfully clunky in the suit of armour he was dolled up in. How was he supposed to fight in this? He couldn't feel his fake legs, or his fake arms, or his fake _anything_.

He glanced up, trying to see through the slits in the armour, before gasping.

There, climbing down from two of the towers, was Banette and Exeggutor.

Scrambling for thoughts, he began inhaling deeply. Where was everyone? Had they all left to go and sabotage the other team's boat?

Biting back his nerves, Shroomish spoke.

"WHO GOES THERE?" he asked, his voice amplified by the suit.

Banette and Exeggutor froze as the hollow, echoing voice rang out.

"HELLO? I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU ANSWERED ME, YOU KNOW."

After a quick nod to Banette, Exeggutor lunged forwards with a Wood Hammer, but to their horror, the knight did not seem fazed.

"DAMN! THIS ARMOUR IS GREAT!" Shroomish called out from inside, before slamming a kick right into Exeggutor's gut and sending them hurtling off the boat, a resounding splash echoing from below.

"Shroomish?" Banette asked suddenly. "Is that you?"

"UM… NO?" Shroomish lied, before moving towards Banette with an am outstretched. "YOU'RE NEXT LITTLE PUPPET!"

He raised his arm, ready to blow a punch, when suddenly a voice chimed from above.

"Shroomish! Shroomish!"

Shroomish's head jerked backwards as he looked up with a growl of startled frustration.

Banette, too, looked up, and with a shock saw that it was Pumpkaboo who was calling. She was swinging from the very top of one of the great trees, peering down at them through the net-like ladder of ropes that swung down from the observing tower.

"No one messes with anyone from the Chocolate-Eating-Spirit-Squad!" Pumpkaboo bellowed. "Otherwise I'll send you straight to Davy Jones' locker, motherfucker!" With the dagger she had found from the boat, she began slashing at the wooden tower, squinting as flecks of wood splintered out.

With a roar of rage, Shroomish raised his arms, reaching out to climb the wooden tower itself.

"Run, Banette! Or float! Or whatever!" Pumpkaboo shrieked. "Away from the centre! Now!"

There was a great cracking, tearing sound from above. Banette leapt for safety, slinging herself onto the edge of the stern just as the boat shuddered with a mighty crash that echoed like rolling thunder.

For what seemed like an eternity, Banette lay still, her eyes tightly closed, her head spinning, her heart hammering in her chest. Then, at last, she became aware of soft breaths beside her.

Forcing her eyes open, she saw Pumpkaboo grinning goofily, pointing at Shroomish, who was buried beneath the fallen wooden tower.

"We defeated the beast!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed. "And we've also unbalanced their boat, now that the wooden thing is kind of broken."

Nodding gratefully, Banette heaved herself up. "You decided not to wear the armour suit yourself?"

"I gave it to Magikarp," Pumpkaboo confessed. "I don't need any more heavy metal in my life."

"You're right about that," Banette agreed with a wry grin. "Remember that time I caught you singing heavy metal songs in the confessionals?"

 **0000**

 **Pumpkaboo can be seen dancing around a confessional stall, a hairbrush raised to her mouth as if it were a microphone. "LIGHT 'EM UP, UP, UP! LIGHT 'EM UP, UP, UP! LIGHT 'EM UP, UP UP!"**

 **After a deep breath, she screamed into the microphone.**

" **I'M ON FIIIIIIIIRE!"**

 **0000**

"Hello?" Absol called out, running frantically as he attempted to throw sandbags around the boat. "I need help, guys! Our boat is sinking!"

Sure enough, the boat belonging to the Groudons was beginning to fill with water, though the source was unknown. While the wooden tower had fallen, it hadn't caused any holes, nor had it caused the ship to capsize. So where was the water coming from?

"Aha!" Absol cried out, gasping as he looked over the edge of the boat. "You!"

In the ocean was Primarina, grinning mischievously as she shot a Hydro Pump towards the boat, the water beginning to weigh down and challenge the buoyancy of the ship.

"Sorry!" Primarina yelled out, in between shooting water from her mouth. "I have to win for my team!"

"Oh, no you don't!" Barely registering his own actions, Absol darted forwards, aiming a Night Slash towards Primarina, hurtling himself into the vast ocean.

Primarina moved the aim of her Hydro Pump so that is collided straight into Absol, ripping him from the air and throwing him straight into the boat, quivering and drenched with slimy, saliva-infested water.

Then she continued filling the boat with water, smiling at the easiness of it all.

Absol lay flat on his back, stunned. He had to do something to save his team. Anything. Though the sandbags he had scattered around was absorbing some of the water, it was hardly doing much in comparison to the amount of water Primarina was shooting at the boat.

Suddenly, an idea occurred to him.

He twisted and seized two of the sandbags by their straps, and with all his strength, he swung and threw them straight into the gaping mouth of Primarina.

Primarina reared back as the sandbags hit the back of the throat, choking for breath, shaking her head from side to side. Her tail lashed, churning the water to foam.

"Would now be a good time to steal Garchomp's phrase and say 'sand attack, bitches?'" Absol asked, but Primarina was too busy choking to answer. "Jeez, I hope I haven't accidently killed you."

To his horror, Primarina was beginning to sink as she continued to cough. His eye twitched desperately.

"... Okay. So maybe I have killed you?"

 **0000**

 **Shaymin huffed. "No one has died on this show, and no one will die. Those who have drowned this challenge are being rescued by my pal, Kyogre. Lurantis was not killed, either, in the last episode. Please don't sue me."**

 **0000**

"Okay, how the _fuck_ are you doing that?"

Noctowl turned around as she saw Meowstic, who had his head cocked as he watched her sweep off the water from her boat with a single gust of wind.

"I have to clean the boat," Noctowl told him. "It's part of the challenge."

"And part of your craziness." He clicked his tongue. "It's a shame, though, because I came to your boat to make sure it drowns."

Noctowl rolled her eyes as she chucked a bag of sand at him. "The only way I'd let you drown my boat is if I was unconscious."

"And tied up," Meowstic added.

"And in a concrete bunker."

"In Siberia."

"With hand-cuffs on."

Meowstic gave her a broad grin. "Kinky."

Though her eyes twitched with annoyance, Noctowl allowed her muscles to loosen up and winked flirtatiously at Meowstic. "You would know all about kinky, wouldn't you?"

 **0000**

" **I could have come up with a lie," Noctowl stated. "I could have fought. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so I took a chance and called upon a girl's greatest weapon of last resort."**

 **She shook her head, smiling bashfully.**

" **I flirted."**

 **0000**

Stunfisk eyed Haxorus worriedly as the dragon-type shoved her head out the window, throwing up the contents of the morning's breakfast.

"Haxorus, are you okay?" she asked, only to be responded by yet another sound of a gag. "I'll take that as a no."

Since Haxorus had been busy barfing away, both Stunfisk and Skitty had been left in charge of ensuring that the dragon-type was alright. They all found a small cabin inside the boat to stay in, and though it was rather relaxing, all three of them could hear the turmoil outside their cabin.

"I just want to _do_ something," Stunfisk sighed.

"You are doing something," Skitty responded. "Like, right now, you're wailing about wanting to do something-"

Stunfisk rolled her eyes. "No need to be a smartass. I want to do something that'll help the team win! How else will I make it to the merge?"

"You've gotten determined," Haxorus managed to say, clutching her stomach as she stumbled back towards her friends. "Why are you so desperate so suddenly?"

Flushing, the ground-type ignored the question. "I wish there was some way we could get to the other team's boat and do a bit of sabotage or something."

"Oh! Oh! Oh!" Skitty chirped excitedly. "We can! We can try teleportation!"

"None of us are psychic types, though?" Haxorus replied, rather baffled.

Skitty's face fell. "Oh."

"But…" Haxorus began, raising her arm. "I have an idea! We can do that thing my parents did in Sinnoh with liquid nitrogen, an earthquake simulator and a Furret!"

"We can't possible do that," Stunfisk retorted.

Haxorus folded her arms. "Why not?"

"We don't have a Furret."

* * *

Noctowl and Meowstic were circling around each other, eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"So," Meowstic began. "Noctowl knows what kinky means? Looks like someone is getting naughty."

"There's a boy in my life," she replied. "He's a very bad influence."

Meowstic nodded. "Bad boys have a way of doing that. But they're worth it."

"They're very cute, too," Noctowl noted. "There are times when I wonder whether they are real-life, or just fantasy."

"You're probably seeing someone because you _want_ to see them," Meowstic remarked with a flirtatious wink. "It's normally a sign that you want to be kissed very dramatically."

"How about you come closer, then?" Noctowl insisted. "If you're really up for some dramatic kissing, that is."

Meowstic whistled. "Damn, there's been lots of kissing lately, hasn't there? First, Ribombee and Golisopod and now this?"

Nevertheless, he inched closer, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Noctowl joined him, reached out with her beak. With a hasty movement, though, she lunged for his ear, snatching him up into the air as she bit onto his ear.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Meowstic hissed. "That hurts like a _bitch_."

Spinning him around in the air, Noctowl threw him into the water, smiling sympathetically.

"Aw," she muttered. "To think we were so close to our first kiss."

 **0000**

" **Well played, Noctowl." Meowstic clapped slowly, his face a deadpan. "Well played."**

 **0000**

"Hi, my name is Skitty, and-"

"Skitty, are you talking to yourself again?" Haxorus asked, but Skitty ignored her.

Instead, the small feline continued to talk to herself, as if she was on some documentary show. "My name is Skitty, and today, we are going to go through a list of helpful tips from Stunfisk on how to escape your cabin on your ship and break into the enemy team's ship. Step number one: become slightly crazy."

"I can hear you, you know," Stunfisk retorted, as she and the two girls snuck out of their cabin, moving towards the edge of the boat. "It's not crazy. We just need to do something. If we stay in that cabin, Haxorus will keep throwing up."

"Step two: become so crazy that you actually volunteer to jump down a fifty-metre tall boat and into a rough seas."

"Wait!" Haxorus cried out, alarmed. "We're jumping off?"

Stunfisk shook her head. "No, we're-"

She didn't get to respond, though. Suddenly, their boat slammed into a large wave, sending water flying on-board as the ship shook violently. All three girls, instantly, were knocked off the boat.

All Stunfisk could remember was gagging and gasping for air as she fell into the water, desperately floating up towards the surface. Flailing around as her head broke the surface, she began calling out to her friends.

"Haxorus! Skitty! Where are you?"

"Over here!"

To her relief, Haxorus was swimming towards her in a gentle backstroke, her belly sticking out as Skitty rested on her stomach. Reaching out, Haxorus plucked Stunfisk out of the water and placed the ground-type on her stomach with Skitty.

"Okay, so maybe that wasn't a great idea," Stunfisk offered, before turning to give Skitty a concerned look. "Are you okay, Skitty? Did you swallow too much water?"

Haxorus and Stunfisk both held their breath, craning their ears to hear if Skitty would say anything.

"Skitty?" Haxorus repeated. " _Skitty_?"

To their relief, Skitty finally spoke up. "Step three: swallow a lot of very cold sea water."

"Oh, thank Arceus, you're alive," Stunfisk sighed. "And look, we've almost made it to the Kinky Kyogres boat!"

With Haxorus as their boat, they finally reached the boat of the enemy team, where Haxorus helped them climb aboard. The three girls sat on the stern for a moment, clutching onto each other as they spat out the excess water from their mouths.

"Step four," Skitty was whining. "Cough and gag."

"Step five," Haxorus added. "Repeat step four until it feels like maybe your lungs aren't inside your body anymore."

Stunfisk, ignoring them, was looking rather horrified as she glanced up to find that they were not alone. Rather, someone from the enemy team had spotted them, and was approaching them with a confident stride. The moment she saw whose silhouette was approaching her, she grinned at her friends.

"Step six," she began. "Remember that a really cute boy from the enemy team is approaching you, so try to cough in a far more attractive manner."

The silhouette appeared beside them, and Skitty and Haxorus stared dumbfounded, as Lucario and Stunfisk eyed each other, silent banter in their eyes.

"Well, if it isn't Lucario," Stunfisk purred.

Lucario grinned. "But it is."

"Let me finish!"

"Anything for you, my dear."

Stunfisk opened her mouth, before snapping it shut again. After a moment, she then said, "Wait, _anything_? How about… you let me, Haxorus and Skitty stay on your team's boat a while longer?"

"Sure!" Lucario jauntily replied. After a second, though, he quickly picked Stunfisk of the ground, and began raising her to the edge of the railing, as if he were about to throw her in.

"Hey!" Stunfisk growled. "What are you doing? I thought we had an agreement!"

"You never specified how long 'a while longer' was, babe."

Stunfisk glared at him. "Fuck you!"

"I would prefer to take you out for dinner first, but you know-" He halted himself as he felt Stunfisk wriggle hysterically under his grasp. Sighing, he reached out and grabbed Skitty as well, throwing them both far into the sea.

"I hate you, Lucario!"

"I love you too, Stunfisk!"

Skitty immediately fell out of his hands and crashed into the sea, but Stunfisk clutched onto Lucario's hand desperately.

"If I'm going down, you're going down with me," Stunfisk hissed, before swinging in the air, gaining momentum, and then shoving herself towards the ocean.

The strength of her movements surprised Lucario, knocking him off his balance. With Stunfisk clinging tightly onto him, they found themselves both hurtling towards the ocean, landing in the spot beside Skitty. Haxorus watched them, before leaning out over the railing and barfing.

 **0000**

 **Stunfisk spat out water from her mouth, giggling slightly. "That was actually… sort of fun."**

 **0000**

"Out of all the threats I had expected when I signed up for this show, I had not expected my main enemy to be a fucking _Magikarp_ ," Golisopod growled to Noctowl as she flew him towards the Groudons boat. Releasing her tight grip of her talons, she gently dropped him onto the boat.

"Be careful, dude," she told him. "That Magikarp gives me the creeps."

As soon as he landed on the boat, Golisopod heard a low voice resonate from behind him.

"You shall never sink our boat," Magikarp's voice spoke, his voice muffled by the armour. "You who has dared to enter my land and mock my power; I have smelt you out. You shall see!"

Magikarp raised an armoured hand, before slamming straight into Golisopod, battering against the arthropod's face and body.

Hauling himself up, Golisopod shoved away Magikarp, panting. "Please tell me that was not the move Splash. Because, _ouch_."

But Magikarp was already there, barring Golisopod's way. "You cannot escape me," he hissed. "You will never escape me."

Golisopod flung himself at her, fist clenched for a Sucker Punch. "All I need is to find one hole in that armour of yours!" he scowled. "One hole, and you're gone!"

His laugh shrill, Magikarp dodged the punch, before throwing himself at Golisopod again. The arthropod was flung back, sprawling on the ground. He wallowed helplessly on the floor, struggling to rise.

Magikarp grinned, and Golisopod's stomach heaved.

"Now you are where you belong!" Magikarp spat. "At my feet, peasant!"

"Let's see if you can _really_ heal the blind, Magikarp!" Noctowl cried out and swooped down towards Magikarp, trying to beat him with a Wing Attack. Like an arrow and with a vicious snap of her beak, she stabbed and stabbed at the face of the armour until she found the slit for where the eye was, and stabbed Magikarp at the eye.

Magikarp shrieked in rage, shock and pain, shaking Noctowl off, hurling her aside and into the ocean. Seeing his temporary blindness, Golisopod sprinted towards the Magikarp and threw him straight into the sea behind Noctowl.

He watched as the fish sunk to the bottom, weighed down by the metallic ornaments, before releasing a heavy sigh of relief.

* * *

"Look at the way the walls curve," Incineroar observed, his face panning around the strangely shaped room. "It's almost like…"

"Bellossom's room," Krokorok finished, before immediately widening his eyes.

"How do you know?" Incineroar asked.

Krokorok looked embarrassed, his cheeks burning. "Because… uh… Bellossom's room."

"Okay." Incineroar threw his hands up. "Point taken."

Suddenly, Krokorok's body began to quake with electricity.

"Dude!" Incineroar burst out. "Are you okay?"

After a moment, the hum of electricity came to a halt, and Krokorok slumped over. "Don't worry about it," he panted. "It just means that Absol has been thrown overboard."

" _What_?"

"We got a device onto him that gives me a shock whenever his blood pressure increases," Krokorok explained. "Luxio had invented it and sent it over, because he reckons Absol might just do something stupid one day. We're just taking precautions."

"Right."

 **0000**

" **Of course," Incineroar huffed, blinking. "Because on Total Phokémon Island, 'precautions' usually equal 'voluntary shock therapy'".**

 **0000**

" **We all know that Absol can be rash at times," Krokorok explained. "I wonder what he did this time to screw him over?"**

 **0000**

Contradicting Krokorok's predictions, Absol had not fallen off the boat. Rather, he was on the other end of his team's boat, dressed in a maid costume, with a tray of mugs balanced on his back.

"Espeon?" he whispered furiously to the small barrel beside him, where Espeon was hiding. "Is the maid outfit _really_ necessary?"

"Yes. Now hurry up."

Sighing once more, Absol moved towards the centre of the boat, where Banette and Pumpkaboo were. The two girls, having intruded onto the other team's boat, were continuously stabbing holes in the boat, allowing water to gush in. Buneary was already tossing sandbags to block the holes, but getting rid of the stimulus was sure to help.

"Hello, pretty ladies," Absol greeted, wincing as his voice came out higher than intended. "Did you want a drink? I had nothing to do this challenge except make drinks for my team, and I've got lots to spare."

Pumpkaboo and Banette froze.

"Well," Pumpkaboo began. "I wouldn't mind if I did-"

"No!" Banette interrupted. "It's probably a trap. He's on the enemy team, remember?"

Absol smiled goofily. "But perhaps I am tricking you into not trusting me and my drinks, so that you suddenly feel overwhelmingly thirsty and spend the rest of the challenge regretting it?"

"Yeah?" Banette retorted. "But what if you're tricking us into not trusting the drinks but making us regret it so that we end up taking the drinks and-"

"Oh no," Pumpkaboo moaned. "Not this psychological bullshit again." She reached out and grabbed a mug, sculling it down immediately, before sighing of relief. "That was delicious."

Squinting her nose, Banette reached out and took a glass herself, drinking it hesitantly.

"I'm glad you like it," Absol chirped.

Pumpkaboo turned to him, wiping her dripping mouth. "Pray to Lord Magikarp that you weren't tricking me, because I will crack your bones like egg-shells if-"

A strange expression crossed her face, and at that exact moment, Banette, beside her, gave a strange little sigh, bent at the knees and fell to the ground. Pumpkaboo gaped at her, then at the empty mug in her hand.

"Poison!" she croaked. She turned, staggering, and pointed with a shaking finger at Absol. "You-"

Absol dropped the tray and took to his heels. Despite her weakness, Pumpkaboo chased after him.

"I will get thee! Shiver me timbers, fuckers!"

With a leap, she jumped at Absol, tackling him off the boat, with herself falling after him.

Espeon watched as both Absol and Pumpkaboo fell out of the boat, her lip twisted with amusement.

 **0000**

 **Espeon rolled her eyes. "The plan was simple: get some poison powder from Shroomish, make drinks, get Absol to work his charm, and when Pumpkaboo gets mad, make sure it is Absol who ends up dealing with the consequences."**

 **0000**

"Intruder on the boat!" Mimikyu exclaimed to Garchomp, who whipped her head around with surprise. .

"Where? Who?"

Mimikyu pointed to the stern, where Golisopod was rising from the floor. "Shall we fight him with our bare and bloody hands?"

With a grin, Garchomp patted the Mimikyu's head. "Let's make him walk the plank."

They both approached Golisopod, who eyed them with impatience.

"So," Golisopod began. "You're the crazy fire-breathing-bitch-queen Garchomp." He didn't even try to hide the judgement from his voice as he looked Garchomp up and down in some sort of silent but dangerous examination.

Garchomp huffed but smiled. "So, you're the dear sweet Poddie that everyone is swooning about."

The two of them stared at each other, wordless. Mimikyu gulped.

 **0000**

" **It felt like I was watching some sort of documentary on a nature channel!" Mimikyu exclaimed. "Something about alpha males - or in Garchomp's case, female - in the** _ **wild**_ **."**

 **0000**

Buneary huffed as she threw yet another sandbag onto a hole, groaning as her muscles ached from the work.

"Here, it might be easier if you just let me freeze it over," Froslass offered, but Buneary shook her head.

"It's fine," she uttered for about the twenty-fourth time. "And can you stop following me? Some people get creeped out when they feel like they're being followed by a ghost.

Froslass gestured to herself. "I _am_ a ghost."

"Oh." Buneary nodded. "So you're a trained Peeping Tom."

"Product of the best peeping academies in the world."

Buneary snickered. "Well, now I feel much better."

"You should." Froslass tilted her head. "I do find it rather ironic that you find me following you creepy when you pretty much forced Gastly to follow you around."

Suddenly, the bunny dropped the bag she was attempted to heave.

"Okay, Froslass, what is your _problem_?" she gruffly asked. "I get it! You're pissed! Well, guess what; I'm pissed too."

"I should think you should loosen up."

Buneary gasped. "Loosen up? _Loosen up_? You'd know all about loosening up, wouldn't you, Froslass? Look at your gut, buddy! No more poffins for you! It's multi-grain and sultanas for you, buddy!"

Glancing down at her stomach, Froslass dropped her jaw. "That's a low blow, Buneary. That's a low blow. I happen to be a very healthy weight, thank you very much. Is this seriously what we've sunk down into? Pointing out each other's dietary habits?"

"I just don't know what you mean by _loosen up_ ," Buneary huffed. "I've been brought up in a family where everything is all serious and punch this and punch that and punch motherfucking-"

"I get it."

"All I'm saying is that I've never had a friend before Gastly, and I don't know how I was supposed to treat them, yet everyone is treating me like absolute shit!" she burst out. "How is it _my_ fault that I am not experienced?"

Froslass gave Buneary a sympathetic glance. "I can help you, you know."

"What?"

"I can be your friend. Loosen you up."

Buneary winced. "That sounds so creepy."

Ignoring her, Froslass bore her eyes into Buneary's with sincerity. "I'm serious. What do you say? Friends?"

With a sigh, Buneary shrugged.

"Reluctant acquaintances."

"Good enough," Froslass answered, grinning. "Now, we have a challenge to win!"

* * *

Breathing hard, Garchomp whirled to face Golisopod. The arthropod's face twisted into a mocking smile.

"Where is your boasting now, fire-breathing-bitch-queen?" Golisopod jeered softly as they encircled each other. "Why, you no longer seem to have any strength in you. Why don't you run home and hide your head in Charizard's lap?"

A flame of hot-white ager ran through Garchomp's body. She glanced up at Golisopod, and with satisfaction saw the smile fade as he sensed the change in her. She saw his mouth tense, and a wary look crept into his eyes.

"You are tired, old man," Garchomp hissed. "Tired to your bones." An idea struck her head, and she grinned suddenly. "Catch me if you can!"

Taken by surprise, Golisopod took a stumbling step forwards. Garchomp whirled around and slashed him with a Dragon Claw before leaping away as he snatched at her, leaving him clutching the empty air. She jumped and attacked again and again with Dragon Claw, always bounding away just in time.

Suddenly, Golisopod dodged one of her attacks, and grinned maliciously as she lost her momentum. She kept hurling at him, but he kept leaping backwards just in time, never questioning why she kept using the same move, never questioning why she had begun to slow down-

He stepped back - and his heel hit solid metal.

He glanced behind him and, in shock, saw a railing, and on the other end of it, masses of ocean water. Only then did he realise how he had been tricked; little by little, Garchomp had pushed him to the edge of the boat. And now she was closing in on him.

"Fuck," he cursed. "That's why you kept letting me dodge."

"Fuck indeed," Garchomp grinned, before opening her mouth and releasing a Flamethrower, knocking Golisopod straight off the boat.

As she heard him splash, she called out after him.

"That's the fire-breathing-bitch-queen for you!"

 **0000**

 **Golisopod dropped his jaw. "Humour, intelligence and ingenuity."**

 **Clutching at his head exasperatedly, he raised his brows.**

" **Holy** _ **fuck**_ **, that is sexy."**

 **0000**

" **Okay," Ribombee muttered to himself. "I'm already unlucky as it is, so I need to start making friends and start making them fast. Otherwise my chances of surviving are… slim."**

 **0000**

Musharna and Ribombee were at the top of their boat, the Kyogre flag rippling in the wind. The sun was already beginning to darken, and Ribombee could see flecks of light shining above him.

"I never knew there were this many stars…" Musharna muttered, glancing up.

 _Come on, Ribombee. Say something cute. Something Jigglypuff would say_. "I can't see them," Ribombee managed to say. "I can only see you."

"Is it because I'm fat…?"

"No!" Ribombee hastily corrected. "Not fat! You're just… um… brighter than the rest of them?"

Musharna smiled. "That's definitely really cheesy…"

"It's the altitude. I don't have enough oxygen in my brain."

"Obviously," a voice called out from above. The two of them turned up to find Salazzle glowering down at them, a devilish smirk tugging at her lip. "You guys are going down."

With a slick movement, she cut the blue material that was hanging off the mast, the cloth falling towards the two.

"I'll save you, Musharna?" Ribombee offered, though he sounded hesitant. He quickly nudged Musharna away from the firing line of the material, and the blue cloth draped over him.

Swinging down swiftly from the top, Salazzle grabbed the ends of the cloth and tied Ribombee up as if he were a mere parcel.

"H-hey!" Ribombee called out from the inside. "You're going to pay! I'm going to be out of this soon enough, and then we'll see who-"

His voice was muffled as Salazzle threw the parcel into the ocean, the small bag containing Ribombee beginning to float away.

With a grin, Salazzle began to stalk off into the boat.

What she had forgotten, though, was that Musharna was trailing right behind her.

* * *

"Fuck," Zoroark cursed, glancing down at the steering wheel. "Someone cut off our mast. How will our boat move now?"

Mimikyu and Garchomp stood at her side, watching the other team's boat begin to approach them.

"They're going to crash straight into us," Garchomp noted bitterly. "We need to get onto their boat and swing them the other way."

"How?" Mimikyu asked.

Garchomp grinned. "We're going to jump onto their boat."

Suddenly, a loud crash resonated behind them, and they turned to find Salazzle darting around in circles, with Musharna clinging onto her back.

"Get off me, you oversized elephant-hippo!" Salazzle cried out, trying to shake the psychic-type off of her. "Fight me like a real man!"

"..."

"Don't tell me that you've actually fallen asleep on my back."

"..."

"Holy shit, she's fallen asleep on my back."

Mimikyu was gaping at Salazzle. "Did you just call Musharna an oversized elephant-hippo?"

"Yes," Salazzle groaned. "Now, can someone just help me get her off my back-"

"DIE, YOU UNGRATEFUL LIZARD!"

Garchomp and Zoroark could only blink with shock and surprise as Mimikyu rushed into Salazzle, slamming into her and sending all three of them - Musharna, Mimikyu and Salazzle - off the boat.

 **0000**

" **What the** _ **fuck,**_ **Mimikyu?" Salazzle spat, her eye twitching.**

 **0000**

 **Mimikyu crossed her arms. "No one dishonours my friends! Otherwise I will dishonour them, their family, their cow and their highlighting skills!"**

 **0000**

A piercing shriek sliced through the air in the Groudons boat. Krokorok was on his feet in an instant, his claws outstretched, leaping out of his cabin to find that the sky was completely black, with only a few stars scattered across the black sea.

"Incineroar?" he hissed. "Espeon? Anyone?"

The two voices answered close behind him, to his relief.

For a moment, there was silence once more, except for the lapping of the water and the creaking of the boat's timbers. But surely - Krokorok's ears strained - surely the sounds were not quite as they had been before. They were louder. And a slight, bumping noise had joined them.

 _The Kyogres boat…_

The thought had barely crossed Krokorok's mind when all of a sudden the darkness around the deck rails seemed to move and thicken. He could hear heavy breathing, and the tinny rattle of steel.

"The boat is being boarded!" Krokorok called out to his friends. "Be careful! Defend it!"

There was a roar of anger and a rush of feet. Zoroark cannoned into him, throwing him down violently. He hit the deck with a thump, striking his brow on the corner of something that chimed and jingled.

Dizzy and sick, he crawled to his knees, the sounds of brawling filling the darkness. Krokorok could hear crashes and groans, a bloodcurdling yell, the splash of something heavy falling over the side.

"Incineroar!" Espeon was roaring. "You're a fire type! Give us some light!"

One by one, the lanterns around the ship began to glow with fire. Gradually, a scene of horror was revealed by the light. There were at least twenty Garchomps and Zoroarks spread all over their boat.

"The fuck?" Incineroar cursed.

All the Garchomps winked at him. "Double Team, bitches!"

"What is with you and abstract, unwanted and unpopular moves?" Krokorok asked, rubbing the back of his head. "Since when did you start to stick up for the minority?"

"I'm not even mad," Espeon remarked, nodding her head, impressed. "I'm kind of proud."

Garchomp smiled goofily. "Aw, senpai noticed me."

"... And now you've lost my respect."

Krokorok staggered to his feet, the deck spinning around him. With horror, he saw one of the Garchomp's surrounding Incineroar grab the lantern and swing it into Incineroar's face.

Incineroar grimaced as the lantern hit his face. " _Seriously_? Fighting fire with fire? What sort of drugs are you-"

His voice was halted when the Garchomp reached out with a Dragon Claw, and he thrust himself backwards to escape the attack. The deck rail groaned behind him, beginning to split.

"No!" Krokorok cried, lurching forwards. But the next second, the whole section of deck rail broke away. Incineroar, the several Garchomps around him and the lantern tumbled into the water with a tremendous splash.

"Yes!" Zoroark called after him, reaching out to attack him with a Crunch.

"Don't you dare bite me," Krokorok warned her.

Zoroark rolled her eyes. "I overheard you and Bellossom talking about liking things crunchy. I thought you'd appreciate the sentiment."

With a hasty movement, Zoroark plunged her teeth into Krokorok. Everything was blurry for the reptile; stabs of pain shot through his head as he was rolled and pushed off the deck.

Zoroark and Garchomp then turned to face Espeon, who was grinning.

"Nice try, guys," Espeon remarked. "But you know what my favourite saying is?"

Garchomp smiled. "I think it was something about thinking Absol had a nice ass?"

"Not that one."

"Then I don't know."

Espeon grinned maliciously.

"If someone tries to sink your boat, just fucking eat them alive."

Zoroark and Garchomp stepped back, but Espeon made no move to lunge forwards. Rather, her eyes began to glow, and a pink light surrounded them as both of them, along with their replicas, were lifted into the air. All the replicas, from the pressure of the Psychic, vanished immediately, leaving Zoroark and Garchomp stranded in mid-air.

"There's only one problem, Espeon," Zoroark called out from above.

Espeon scowled. "What?"

"There are many ways to sink a boat."

"And," Garchomp added. "Burning them while being stuck in mid-air is one of them."

Suddenly, Garchomp and Zoroark were both releasing powerful gushes of flames towards the boat, unleashing their Flamethrower. Espeon managed to dodge just in time, but she watched with horror as the wooden boards around her began to catch the flame, sparking up.

Somewhat irritated, Espeon used her psychic ability to flick Zoroark and Garchomp into the ocean, but to her frustration, she heard them laughing as they were tossed into the water.

 **0000**

" **Fuck," Espeon spat. "I'm not even mad that she set our boat on fire. I swear, I never said Absol's ass was any good. She's delusional."**

 **0000**

Espeon could feel the Groudons boat beginning to tilt to one side, the fire burning the boat to ashes, the water beginning to seep in. There was no way she could keep the boat afloat; even if she were to use psychic all night on the boat, she would have no energy to sink the other team's boat. Who else was there? Haxorus was stuck on the other team's ship, but she was barfing away-

Suddenly, she heard two voices from the other end of the boat.

"Okay, hear me out, Froslass, we need to find a rock and get you to freeze it and make their ship crash into it."

"You mean… Like the Titanic, Buneary?"

"Yes, the Titanic."

"You mean, the one where basically _everyone_ died?"

"Nobody said it was perfect."

Espeon's eyes lit up suddenly. Froslass and Buneary!

Using all her might, she used Psychic on the boat, keeping it afloat as she called out to the two.

"Guys," she grunted. "Our boat is on fire."

"You don't say-" Buneary began to say, but her eyes widened as she took in the hysterical flames around her. "HOLY SHIT THE BOAT IS ON FIRE-"

Froslass didn't look nearly as distressed. Instead, she smiled. "Buneary! Your Titanic idea! It's genius!"

"Now is _really_ not the time for this-"

Suddenly, Froslass began freezing over the entire boat, coating the flames with ice, subduing them. The entire boat crackled as it froze, and Buneary and Espeon watched with confusion as their ship turned into an ice sculpture.

"This isn't helping me keep it up, you know," Espeon pointed out, sweat beginning to appear at her forehead.

"I know," Froslass answered with a shrug, before yelling to the boat across the ocean. "Haxorus! Are you there?"

From several metres away, where the boat belonging to the Kyogres was, Haxorus screamed out, "Yes!"

"Great! I need you to steer the boat into our boat!"

"The fuck?"

"JUST DO IT!"

On the boat belonging to the Kyogres, the dragon-type, who no longer had the energy to throw up anymore, stumbled her way to the steering wheel. She twisted it hard, forcing it to veer slightly to the left, aiming for the frozen Groudons ship.

"Are you _sure_?" she called out. "This boat will crash into your… iced up boat! We'll make both of them sink?"

Buneary and Espeon exchanged looks of realisation.

"In the Titanic, the ship sank, but the iceberg was fine…" Buneary mumbled.

"And even if it isn't," Espeon continued, "I can use psychic to keep our boat up while the other one sinks."

Sure enough, the boats collided with enough force to send all four contestants crashing to the ground. Using all of her energy, Espeon struggled to keep the boat up, but let out a sigh of relief as she saw the other both beginning to tilt back, sliding down into the water.

"Their boat… it's sinking!" Buneary cheered.

"Yay!" Haxorus squealed, before feeling her own feet get wet. "Wait, but I'm sinking with it!"

Froslass winced. "Every good cause come with a sacrifice, dear."

 **0000**

" **You know," Buneary began with a shrug. "Froslass is kind of cool. Pun not intended."**

 **0000**

A small little bag was floating in the water, containing Ribombee.

After a moment of struggling, he managed to rip a hole in the material, and shoved himself out of the bag.

"I'M FREE!" he yelled out, gasping for air. "Take that, Lizard Girl! I'm ready to-

From above, Shaymin called out, "Looks like the Guzzling Groudons have won today's challenge! I'll see the Kinky Kyogres at elimination!"

"Aw, man," Ribombee sighed. "Just when I thought I had them."

 **0000**

" **Do we** _ **seriously**_ **still have a Magikarp on our team?" Meowstic asked incredulously.**

 **0000**

 **Banette narrowed her eyes. "Those Egg Brothers are shady as fuck."**

 **0000**

"Where the fuck is Bellossom?" Shaymin impatiently asked, her foot tapping against the ground. Around the campfire, the Kyogres were seated awkwardly, chattering amongst one another nervously.

"Hey, Primarina," Garchomp greeted, leaning over to talk to her friend. "This morning, I was wondering what was up between you and the whole baby Ditto thing. Even during that challenge with the baby Ditto, you were pretty protective over him. What was up there?"

"It's nothing," Primarina quickly replied.

Garchomp arched a brow. "Oh, Arceus, don't tell me you're having an affair with a Ditto or something-"

"No, it's not that!" Primarina's face began to flush with humiliation, and she even glared when she saw Garchomp laugh. "It has nothing to do with Ditto in general. I just have a thing for babies."

"A baby fetish?"

"I think I liked you better when you were violent and aggressive."

Garchomp shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, I'm happy to start pelting everyone with rocks again if you _really_ want it."

"I've just had a bad history of wanting to be a mother," Primarina huffed. "I've always had birthing issues, and I've never gotten the chance to be a mother. And seeing that baby Ditto had lost his mother… I thought that he was a missing piece to my puzzle. But, he's gone, and that's that."

"Oh."

Primarina glanced down. "Yeah. I just want to be a mother. I want to have lots of babies. Feel responsible. Look after more Pokémon."

"You don't need to be a mother to do that."

"What do you mean?"

Garchomp waved away her concern. "I just think that-"

"Sorry I'm late!" Bellossom called out, interrupting Garchomp, as she sprinted towards the campfire. "I was just feeding-" she cut herself off, eyes wide.

"Feeding?" Shaymin urged, but Bellossom shook her head.

"Feeding… my… ego…?" Bellossom managed to answer, though she hardly sounded convinced. Before Shaymin would interrogate her further, she quickly added, "Anyways! I brought the Gracidea Flowers! We can start elimination!"

Shaymin turned to face her contestants. "Brilliant. Alright, Kyogres, you've lost _again_. Let's hope this losing streak dies a lot quicker than your last one, yeah?"

"Let's just hope the next challenges are fairer than the last ones-"

"Oh, tush tush, Meowstic," Shaymin hissed. "Lucky for you, you are safe. So are the following: Mimikyu, Primarina, Ribombee, Zoroark, Musharna, Banette, Lucario and Pumpkaboo."

As Bellossom hastily threw the flowers towards them, Shaymin grinned cheekily at the three remaining contestants: Exeggutor, Garchomp, and Magikarp.

"Magikarp," Shaymin began. "Many of us wonder how you're even still here, since you hardly seem to do shit. That, and you're kind of mean at times. And your cult is creepy as hell. But obviously, they're great companions to have, because you have not received enough votes to be eliminated. "

The fish seemed nonchalant as he flopped away, towards Pumpkaboo, who embraced him cheerfully.

"Garchomp and Exeggutor, hey?" Shaymin remarked. "Exeggutor, there is no questioning it; you've grown even weirder as time has passed on this island. And Garchomp? I mean, your team _did_ lose the last challenge because of you and your tendency to cause fights at rather inappropriate moments. Though, you sort of redeemed yourself this challenge by doing your best to help your team without causing any unnecessary fights."

Smiling softly, Garchomp began to rise from her seat.

"But that doesn't mean they've forgiven you. In fact, you got the most votes tonight, so you've been eliminated."

" _What_?" Primarina burst out, shocked.

Garchomp's jaw was dropped in surprise, and she whipped her head to face her team mates, betrayal in her eyes. "Really?"

"It was Magikarp's idea," Ex quickly justified. "Please don't hurt me."

Pumpkaboo nodded. "Yeah, and you're a pretty big threat as well. You give me MacDuff vibes"

"Right," Garchomp sighed. "Wow. I… Okay, then. I got beaten by a fish. That's fine. I just have one request."

"What is it?" Shaymin asked, genuinely curious.

"I was wondering whether you could appoint team leaders," Garchomp requested. "I think Primarina would make a great mother- I mean, team leader." She flashed the water-type a smile, and Primarina couldn't help but wonder whether the 'mother' had been an accident, or she had said it on purpose.

Shaymin shrugged. "Sure. Whatever. Congratulations, Primarina. You are team leader. Happy now, Garchomp?"

"Yep!"

"Good. Now get the fuck off my island."

 **0000**

" **Aw," Garchomp sighed. "Just as I was beginning to have fun. I've loved this experience! It started off a bit rocky, I suppose - but hey, it certainly became a lot more enjoyable."**

 **She glanced at the window thoughtfully. "I hope that Espeon wins. We've only been friends for a short time, but damn, she's great. Don't underestimate the power of chess, people! While Ludicolo will hate me for saying this, I think everyone makes and breaks their own fortune. We are the masters of our own fate."**

 **She slumped down in her chair.**

" **And I'm totally okay with that."**

 **0000**

"Ex! Wake up!"

The single head of the tree jerked awake, glancing up. "What is it?" To his surprise, Banette was staring at him. "Ban-"

"Shhh!" Banette hushed, clamping his mouth with a hand. "Don't wake up your other brothers."

"That'll be really hard, seeing as we are all part of one body-"

Banette rolled her eyes. "Just listen to me, okay? You owe me - I saved your life from Lycanroc today. Out of your brothers, you're the only one who seems reasonable enough to talk to. Please, hear me out."

Pondering it for a moment, Ex finally nodded his head. "Okay. What's up?"

"What is that band on your head?"

"It's from Magikarp," Ex answered. "I don't know the details, but it helps us do things that we normally cannot do. We can run faster, use our psychic abilities better, walk on water, walk on walls - it pretty much powers up our psychic abilities and enables us to manipulate it for the better."

Banette crossed her arms. "So you've been _cheating_."

"No- well, okay, _maybe_."

"You've been _cheating_!" Banette exclaimed once again.

"Yes! Okay! No need to-"

Before he could continue, he felt his brothers stir behind him.

"Ex? Is someone there?" Tor grumbled.

"No, Tor, go back to bed. No one is here-"

Ex cut himself off as he glanced up, only to find that no one was there. Banette had disappeared completely out of sight. Blinking back his surprise, he leaned back against his pillow.

"What was _that_ about?"

* * *

Garchomp frowned as she stood at the dock, her luggage beside her. She had been expecting a boat to arrive to pick her up, but nothing had come into sight.

"Oh, Arceus," she sighed. "Maybe the boats we sunk today were supposed to be my source of transportation."

"Actually," a voice called out from above. "You have a special mode of transportation."

She glanced up, and her heart soared.

"Charizard?"

"We haven't been apart for _that_ long, you know," Charizard remarked. "Surely you can recognise me."

As soon as he landed, they embraced each other in a tight hug.

"Garchomp, you're choking me."

"Good. Let me love you."

"You're going to kill me."

"With _love_."

Charizard chuckled, holding her tight. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Garchomp confessed, glancing up to stare into Charizard's eyes. "Shall we go home, my love?"

"Depends on where home is," Charizard answered, grinning.

"Home," Garchomp told him, "is where the heart beats the loudest."

Charizard eyed her. "I don't know. My heart beats pretty loud when I'm standing on the edge of a volcano."

"What I mean, you unromantic shit," Garchomp snickered, patting his chest gently. "Is that, as long as I'm with you, I'm always home."

* * *

 **Tomato Soup: Aww, what a cheesy ending. xD There's a reason I ended it like this! Garchomp and Charizard, as most of you know, were a couple long before the story even began. And if you want to see more cute little fluffiness, you should check out Dark Arcanine 33's profile - because he has a story called 'Making Nice', which is a cute little fluffy one shot starring the two of them. I haven't read it yet, but from what I hear, it is very sweet and cute. :D**

 **On that note, thank you Dark Arcanine 33 for submitting Garchomp! She easily became one of the most hated contestants to one of the most loved within a few chapters, which was kind of nice to see. xD She's such a babe, and sand attack is seriously underrated and I'm glad she brought that out. So how does everyone feel? Surprised by this elimination? Expecting it? How are you liking all the growing relationships - since there are a few of them now?**

 **26: Garchomp (The Supressed Savage) – the bully turned babe, hey? I'm surprised how quickly everyone fell in love with her, but I don't blame them because I adore her. She's been so much fun to write, even if her development took time.**

 **And this chapter marks the OFFICIAL end of the first arc of this story. Now that the 'Wheel of Fortune' arc has come to a close, I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks will happen next! This arc was focused mostly on fate, luck and fortune - but it's finished on a note saying that people make their own destinies (a rather humanistic approach). So next arc will be focused more on skill and strategy, and it is called 'The Empire of Pawns'. Any predictions on any eliminations?**

 **And ohhh my gosh. 300 reviews? I love you all! I also love this crazy guest reviewer, DAML, who has been very supportive and adorable. Thanks dude! I wish I could contact you, but alas, I can't. XD**

 **Please review! I will love you forever!**


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